The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've only posted (reply) once, but needed to write out my thoughts of the past week and thought this would be a good place. My AH was arrested last Monday for domestic violence...not that this was the first time or even the 10th. I probably would have let it go longer but for one thing...our 6-year-old witnessed it. He had seen the aftermath--mommy crying or once even bloody--but never the actual act. I had to take action. Actually, our son did...as the abuse was happening, I screamed for him to call 911, which he did. He got scared and hung up, but the police called back...on the second call, I was able to get to the phone. There are other issues with the AH (depression and anger management), but I know now this has gone on too long. He will get the help he needs and for the time being, our house is at peace. I filed a restraining order, moved bank accounts, and will NOT allow the violence back in the house. It is an extreme burden as I am the breadwinner and my AH was the primary caregiver (I kick myself that I allowed THIS for so long). But I am making it work. At this point, I don't know what will happen long term. Even with all of the extra effort, I don't have to worry about what I am walking into at the end of the day. It is good.
I am so glad you are taking actions to protect yourself and your son! Please do not "kick yourself" for not acting sooner...praise yourself for acting now.
I pray that this will be a new beginning of healing for you and your family.
Thanks for sharing and posting.... you've come to a safe place, and how wonderful it is for you that you DO have options here, with you being the primary breadwinner, etc.... Good for you... keep growing, keep learning..... Nobody deserves to be abused.... ever. Glad to see you caring for you, and your son.....
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I lived with domestic violence for years. When I finally moved the A tried to carry it on. I stoped it. He didn't want "help". Maybe your a does, maybe he doesn't. All we can is to protect ourselves.
By getting him out of the house you are being a good role model for your child you are showing him this is unacceptable behaviour well done and good luck
