Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Canary · Canary

This is an update to my post yesterday. Yes, he was/is drinking. I finally heard from him more than 48 hours later. He called me sobbing and crying, begging me to come and help him. He wanted me to get a babysitter and come and take care of him. He was apologizing left and right and then proceeded to tell me h...

cliquishPeopleSuck · cliquishPeopleSuck

Hello: I am an adult child of an alcoholic who recently started to attend Al-Anon meetings. I am seriously thinking of not attending them any more. Many of the people at those meetings struck me as unfriendly. It seems that they don't welcome newcomers, and prefer to just stick with their friends...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After another night of almost no sleep, I made it to work looking less than presentable, but still here nonetheless. Sat down at my desk and opened my emails, to find yet another "chain" email about how if I forward it to X amount of people, and make a wish, it will come true. After be...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Ok, another video: Go to Yahoo! and click on the video "From $700K to $10/hour." Wow. I mean, if anyone has a "right to resent," this man has lost EVERYTHING. His wife doesn't even have a resenment! (Or not one they're willing to talk about publicly) "I feel sorry for him...

java · java

I am in need of some encouragement and e,s & h shares. As I have posted earlier my dry drunk AH left Valentines Day eve, because he once again was trying to control people places and things, mainly my 11 year old daughter who he asked Do you want me to leave? She said yes and he left. I was so relieved and m...

Maria Agnes · Maria Agnes

Can anyone help me please? I left my husband after 25 years of marriage and 3 children ten years ago as I could no longer cope with his drinking. I stopped visiting him when the situation became unbearable and then after a couple of years he was hospitalized with many health problems due to drink. It w...

merry · merry

Well, he is drinking again and called from a friends house last night to say he couldnt drive home. I love him, he is an amazing man, but 1 year ago I packed my bags and told him I couldnt stay if he was drinking. He said he would change, i unpacked, and he was sober and attending AA for 6 months. 6 months ago...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a gain in their weight since going into recovery/beginning AlAnon. For me I have noticed at LEAST 7lbs finding their way back and was wondering if there is any connection between recovery and weight gain?? I've read that sometimes addicts, etc wi...

maresie · maresie

As I've said in previous posts I met a woman recently who I felt had potential to be a friend. This week I've learned to hold my boundaries no matter what. She had made an arrangement with a friend of mine who flaked on her. She then called me repeatedly asking me to go get him for her. I didn't do it. Nor...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Okay my dear family I need your help. Most of you know that my brother-in-law is an addict (to what I am not sure - painkillers, crack? not alcohol). Several years ago he burnt the garage down because he was making crack. One of the fire fighters said they had never seen a fire burn ...

Jozie · Jozie

Often times we wonder about things, and for some reason thru all this reading I have done on the board today, it has brought back ALOT of times in my life that wasn't so cheerie.. As I think of all times back when I was drinking at a very young age, all the horrible things that happened to me. Not thru my Afath...

Brizzle Gal · Brizzle Gal

I am so full of hatred this day. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate the daily grind, I hate the fact that I haven't got the courage to leave my AGF but I hate the time that I'm with her more and more, I hate it when people say I should leave and feel sorry for me because I stay, I hate the fact that I'm exhausted aft...

maryam · maryam

here is the latest news he is now smoking crack!!!I cannot believe this, found alot of withdrawls from bank several times a day and found that his so called drinking buddies to crack and sell it to him,he said about a week now. had a incident where he would not let me sleep on the couch and was taking the bla...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Some friends of ours lost their 22 yr old son this past weekend to an 18 yr old drunk driver. So very tragic. It is very strange, but I find myself going into denial mode so that I do not feel obligated to go to the memorials/funerals. Part of me doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. I feel so ashamed and se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

(((((MIP))))) I know I was taught that expectations were future resentments. I know that I got it or thought or came very close to getting it. So why was I at that meeting this morning after an alcoholic asked "Are you going tomorrow morning? I really need to be there!" Of course you all k...

maresie · maresie

As you all know my living situation is less than desirable. A friend of mine has recently been laid off (who hasn't) and I am hoping he might offer to rent me a portion of his house again. I haven't asked. I 'm not going to ask but if he offers I'll take it. I've been really busy setting up a plan a, b.c. I did...

Sower · Sower

I'm new to this board and am seeking advice regarding my alcoholic son. The behaviors he has engaged in, in our home over the last 4-5 years have completely overcome my life and my husbands. He has serious resentment issues with me which I am having difficulty understanding his perception. To fu...

Jozie · Jozie

Sometimes when I have time to sit and think, I sometimes go back to the times when My family was a whole and my parents were together, BEFORE my father became an A, I remember all the great Christmas's and all the Great holidays, and now looking back I have come to realize that "THEN" in my mind...

david62 · david62

Good morning, (((Family))) I was getting out of the shower this morning and looked at the clock that I have in there to see if I was running late or not. Then I remembered that the clock in my bathroom has a low battery in it, and has for a couple of weeks now been "running slow". I reminded mysel...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I am soooo at my wits end right now and not sure how to get it together at this point. I am tired,completely and utterly physically exhausted at this point, my house is a nightmare, work is at it's busiest and I can barely concentrate. My son has been really sick since Monday, and I found out yest...

Tree · Tree

I'm having a hard time with not trying to "control" him. Some things I read say I need to just chill out, have fun- work on making me happy... but then I read about "enabling" and find that if I think it's unexceptable that he's not going to AA meetings and having "a drink onc...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I am not new to the rooms of recovery but feel like I am due to the present circumstances. I had been involved a man for about two years. I thought he was probably the sweetest, most attentive and loving man I had ever met. I didn't see any signs of alcoholism or any other addictions, so I did not exactly proc...

Gessie · Gessie

Hello. I am brand-new to this...I never even heard of Al-Anon until recently. I'm not sure how this all works, but I am in need of some support I suppose. I am married to an alcoholic. We have been married for two years and have a 11 month old daughter. We recently relocated to another state, far away...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I added a chair rail and painted all woodwork white. I used a sage green under the chair rail. With a color two shades lighter mixed with glaze and a wash technique above the chair rail. Floors were stripped, rewaxed and buffed. All windows were cleaned inside and out. All wall decorations changed plac...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, As some of you know, I took the bereaved step mothers dog, it has worked out good, took a bit of effort, but I love her to bits. I have less contact with my father now, he does not ring me, I ring to see if all is ok, and am cordial, though I do not like him as a person but he is my father and eighty and livin...

NiceGal · NiceGal

Hi everyone! This is probably my first time, posting, venting, etc about this. 16 years ago, when I was 16 years old...I had to come to grips that my sister, who I love and worshiped, was a drug addict/alcoholic. I think back then I was in denial, or maybe just didnt fully understand it. Thankfully she...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm finding it really hard not to get sucked back in to making all my time about the new boyfriend. I can't get enough. I want to be with him every free moment and have stopped doing things I need to do. I know this. I just can't seem to stop myself. Why quit something so wonderful??? UGH. It's like I h...

Ickle Lynnie · Ickle Lynnie

Sorry to post this here but I have tried emailing the support email and it bounces. I really want to access the chat room/online meetings but my computer won't allow me to install the required active x controls because it is an untrusted publisher. Has anyone else had this problem and know how to fix it...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

My name is Kelly and I have two little angels and I'm affaid that Daddy may repeat my past childhood. My AH and I have been separated for almost six months now. I had to go to the State because he wouldn't give my any child support. I have only recieved two checks so far these past 3 weeks. We went to have o...

Ickle Lynnie · Ickle Lynnie

Hi, After 4 weeks soul searching I have asked AH to move out. Predictably his response has been to hit the bottle, be unkind and engage in self-pitying behaviour while trying to persuade me into bed. I do want to continue our marriage but need some distance in order to cope with his drinking. We haven't...

Canary · Canary

So, to give you an update and summary. December 30th I asked my AH to leave the house after relapse after relapse. (He was sober for 8 years...relapsed over and over, went to rehab and then continued to relapse). He has been out of the house since then and continues to be out. He has been sober so far, or at...

Tracy · Tracy

I know in my head I have to let go move on with my life. I have made the decision in my logical brain that I have to love me and end this relationship let my ex ab face the consequences of his decisions and respect him enough to let him fix himself. I intended to tell him all this but he is low really low lost evr...

maresie · maresie

I met a woman recently who I hope to make a friend as we have a lot of similar issues. There is so much difference in becoming a friend in recovery from codpendence rather than in total denial and hell bent on getting my needs met. First of all I don't submerge her in love bombing, secondly I don't talk to he...

smllfry115 · smllfry115

I'm feeling raw, like I want to cry all of the time. A piece of me wants to just go to sleep and not talk to anyone, while another piece of me is angry and wants to scream at anyone who will listen. I feel sad, and angry, and disgusted all at once. And most of all I feel alone, because my friends and boyfriend don...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I wanted to ask you that have been in therapy or going through therapy now, has it helped you? Can going through this process give you any relief? I can feel myself going backward, I may pull out of it by myself, but if therapy helps I am open to it. I understand that no two people are alike and what may work f...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have prayed to my HP to let me see with open eyes what it is He wants me to see, and again He does not falter. I usually try not to let my EXABF into my thoughts to often, but after hearing the other day that he was seen out with a young girl, I won't lie, it stung and I finally allowed myself some time, almost a w...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp today I got up to a sick kid, and things were worrisome none the less, he is sick in bed with a fever, which I am praying works its way thru rather quickly...As I pray...This too will pass.... In reading my devotional books this morning I came across one that mentioned our slogans, and what they mean,...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Hi All! It's been a while since I've been here (no major problems the last few months). Unfortunately my husband was arrested last night and our son was in the car. That makes it an automatic felony here in AZ. I happened to be out of the house - it was my night off and I was supposed to be spending a relaxi...

brightmommy · brightmommy

In working Step One, I have come to realize that want to find peace and serenity for my life. I need to change my behaviors and learn how to take care of myself. I realize my life has always been unmanageable due to growing up in an alcohoholic home and currently married to an alcoholic who is in recovery....

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this morning contemplating the meaning of my program and my life. Decided that no matter what, I could not face another week like the past two, where my program was off track and I was struggling with obsessing and what if's and focusing on the A instead of myself. I felt like an insane woman aga...

Maria123 · Maria123

((((Friends)))), Thanks so much for the well wishes! The last few days have been really tough -- a lot of pain. Keep the prayers coming, I sure do appreciate them. love Maria I got the below from an email this morning and thought we all could use a little more love every day . . . When Children Ages 4-8 wer...

Ness · Ness

Today I am shakey and tearful....the situation with my A son's health (physical and mental) is deteriorating, I have been speaking with his care workers' and we're all telling him the same thing.....the help is all there for him, but his fears are stopping him taking that 1st step. I am overwhelm...

juicemommie · juicemommie

Ok, so Today my son ask if he can go spend the night with his aunt (the sober one) but I said only if the other aunt (not sober one) was not going to be there. So my 14 yr old proceeds to start explaining "yeah My mom has a problem with her and I don't understand why". Which leads into me making him han...

Jozie · Jozie

Well after yet again, Lettimg my Abrother, put a wrench in my wonderful day that I had yesterday, I have spoked to my husband and if we have to move it.. "the trailor" we have to move it, either way, when my commitment to my Afather-R.I.P. is up in June, then that is the day that I will worry abo...

maire rua · maire rua

Brother went on bender sunday night, high as a kite, fell broke his wrist, looks in bad shape from second hand accounts, lost the phone I got him, I owe him 30 euro so am thinking that I should get him replacement which he wants and tell him that I used money owed, fair enough isn't it, Teenage son giving me g...

angelpm39 · angelpm39

My name is Portia. I am from Southern California. I learn of this message board through searching on the web. I hope to learnand meet others as well. I currently am doing meetings online. today it is a little difficult and I hope as times goes by things will improve in my life. I do have an ABF who is still i...

db55 · db55

Are you married to this man, too? Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I posted a wish to us all -- myself included. I also bought myself a couple of gifts!!! My AH did nothing. Well, of course -- why was I expecting anything different? I am not whining here -- just venting. I know that I cannot control an...

Codependent · Codependent

I knew this was coming. My mood had been bad and I'd been irritable. Went a couple of weeks ago and had two glasses of wine. Convinced myself that it proved I was in control. So last night I tried again and this time failed miserably. This morning I am experiencing all of the results- shakes, headach...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), A friend of mine sent me an email with this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email Whenever I feel down, I play this song. I'm not sure when you see it if Pipers would do that. I have seen her chase a deer. But I love the sentiment. Lessons from...

Holly09 · Holly09

Hi all! I'm new to this group sadly not to the disease. I did belong to another online group but they have changed providers and don't like it now. For me it's the start of race season and the start of mayhem. My fiance of 6 years and 2 children together is an alcoholic, he knows he's an alcoholic and kno...

java · java

I shared a while back that my AH wasn't letting me on this site and wasn't letting me go to f2f al-anon meetings. He is a dry drunk, not in a program and has become very controlling and manipulative. He calls me about every 15 minutes I'm out of his site and it was draining me. I called it emotional abuse and I...

Jozie · Jozie

Well today I woke up with excitement on my mind, some of our family & friends were planning to go skating with all our kids and us adults, which they did!!!WE had a great time, My ABrother was suppose to be there as well, but it appears that he didn't have the guts to look me in the eye... See my sister cal...

mag · mag

I really do not know what to start with first. All i know is that I have no one to talk to and it is really my fault. I need to vent some where safe and to people who might understand. this is going to be long and I apologize if this is not how it works. I just googles online support for alcoholic family members...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone havent been on here in a while but I have internet access again at home so will be visiting when ever I can get kids of the computer. Quick overview was married to a compulive gambler for 17 years single for a year then started relationship with my AB. I have never experienced anything like t...

Jozie · Jozie

I really dont, for some reason today I can't help but think about how Lazy I have been here of late, I don't know what My problem is..I think sometimes it is the winter weather, but then I think it is something deeper then that! I was doing my reading today, and welp... I can't find my "Hope for Today Bo...

Tracy · Tracy

I have got up this morning and worked my program I rang my sponsor and talked about how I want to love me but I feel cruel leaving the a to face the consequences alone. I know the cycle I know what I will get if I keep contact with the A I will be manipulated, I will feel bad about me I will put him first. My A is 34...

Tracy · Tracy

My ab got in touch before after nearly 3 weeks. I was kind I listened he said he had lost his job and didnt want to tell me. He said he had over slept but I rang the night before and he was missing so more likely he got drunk and never went in. Hwe said he has been on self destruct for 3 weeks and suffering from d...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp Last night, I blessed myself with another F2F... I was told by one of my new friends the week before that she would like to hear from me, well lets just say I was a touch nervous for I am one that does not like to let anyone down... Well Except for myself, that seems to be a regular thing for me,... So as I si...

maresie · maresie

I know the "holidays' trigger me so I am trying to keep busy. Nevertheless this morning I had a brain wave. Why not just give myself a lot of love, understanding, care and space. That would be my valentine's day gift for me. I am in the process of cleaning up, organizing and sorting myself out....

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Today I was upbeat and determined to feel good on Valentines day. Read your posts, made a gratitude list and took note of daily reading about opening myself up to the love available to me from people, the Universe, and my Higher Power. Ok in the back of my mind if I'm honest I was hoping for...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update...The sleeping tiger called me today.....after 2 days of drinking. I did great. (Preview) This is an update to my post yesterday. Yes, he was/is drinking. I finally heard from him more than 48 hours later. He called me sobbing and crying, begging me to come and help him. He wanted me to get a babysitter and come and take care of him. He was apologizing left and right and then proceeded to tell me h...	Canary	8	643	Feb 20, 2009 by maresie
	Adult child of alcoholic who doesn't get along with most other ACOAs (Preview) Hello: I am an adult child of an alcoholic who recently started to attend Al-Anon meetings. I am seriously thinking of not attending them any more. Many of the people at those meetings struck me as unfriendly. It seems that they don't welcome newcomers, and prefer to just stick with their friends...	cliquishPeopleSuck	8	673	Feb 20, 2009 by Jean4444
	Finally my wish came true....... (Preview) After another night of almost no sleep, I made it to work looking less than presentable, but still here nonetheless. Sat down at my desk and opened my emails, to find yet another "chain" email about how if I forward it to X amount of people, and make a wish, it will come true. After be...	shellyj123	5	693	Feb 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Resentment Release 101 (Preview) Ok, another video: Go to Yahoo! and click on the video "From $700K to $10/hour." Wow. I mean, if anyone has a "right to resent," this man has lost EVERYTHING. His wife doesn't even have a resenment! (Or not one they're willing to talk about publicly) "I feel sorry for him...	Tiger2006	1	736	Feb 20, 2009 by maresie
	He's reeling me in again (Preview) I am in need of some encouragement and e,s & h shares. As I have posted earlier my dry drunk AH left Valentines Day eve, because he once again was trying to control people places and things, mainly my 11 year old daughter who he asked Do you want me to leave? She said yes and he left. I was so relieved and m...	java	6	720	Feb 20, 2009 by Loupiness
	Is this adultery? (Preview) Can anyone help me please? I left my husband after 25 years of marriage and 3 children ten years ago as I could no longer cope with his drinking. I stopped visiting him when the situation became unbearable and then after a couple of years he was hospitalized with many health problems due to drink. It w...	Maria Agnes	5	976	Feb 20, 2009 by db55
	New and not sure, help! (Preview) Well, he is drinking again and called from a friends house last night to say he couldnt drive home. I love him, he is an amazing man, but 1 year ago I packed my bags and told him I couldnt stay if he was drinking. He said he would change, i unpacked, and he was sober and attending AA for 6 months. 6 months ago...	merry	6	514	Feb 20, 2009 by merry
	Recovery and weight gain? (Preview) I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a gain in their weight since going into recovery/beginning AlAnon. For me I have noticed at LEAST 7lbs finding their way back and was wondering if there is any connection between recovery and weight gain?? I've read that sometimes addicts, etc wi...	shellyj123	8	567	Feb 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Moving on from people pleasing (Preview) As I've said in previous posts I met a woman recently who I felt had potential to be a friend. This week I've learned to hold my boundaries no matter what. She had made an arrangement with a friend of mine who flaked on her. She then called me repeatedly asking me to go get him for her. I didn't do it. Nor...	maresie	8	606	Feb 19, 2009 by Jean4444
	A family in crisis - need input please (long)! (Preview) ((((Family)))), Okay my dear family I need your help. Most of you know that my brother-in-law is an addict (to what I am not sure - painkillers, crack? not alcohol). Several years ago he burnt the garage down because he was making crack. One of the fire fighters said they had never seen a fire burn ...	Karilynn	8	698	Feb 19, 2009 by Jean4444
	Recovery doesn't always come easy.... (Preview) Often times we wonder about things, and for some reason thru all this reading I have done on the board today, it has brought back ALOT of times in my life that wasn't so cheerie.. As I think of all times back when I was drinking at a very young age, all the horrible things that happened to me. Not thru my Afath...	Jozie	3	701	Feb 19, 2009 by hotrod
	Full Of Hate (Preview) I am so full of hatred this day. I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate the daily grind, I hate the fact that I haven't got the courage to leave my AGF but I hate the time that I'm with her more and more, I hate it when people say I should leave and feel sorry for me because I stay, I hate the fact that I'm exhausted aft...	Brizzle Gal	5	1118	Feb 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	update again b/f alcholism treatments....... (Preview) here is the latest news he is now smoking crack!!!I cannot believe this, found alot of withdrawls from bank several times a day and found that his so called drinking buddies to crack and sell it to him,he said about a week now. had a incident where he would not let me sleep on the couch and was taking the bla...	maryam	5	578	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	dealing with death... I want to run! (Preview) Some friends of ours lost their 22 yr old son this past weekend to an 18 yr old drunk driver. So very tragic. It is very strange, but I find myself going into denial mode so that I do not feel obligated to go to the memorials/funerals. Part of me doesn't want to acknowledge it at all. I feel so ashamed and se...	Loupiness	10	717	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	I think that was a near miss resentment... (Preview) (((((MIP))))) I know I was taught that expectations were future resentments. I know that I got it or thought or came very close to getting it. So why was I at that meeting this morning after an alcoholic asked "Are you going tomorrow morning? I really need to be there!" Of course you all k...	Jerry F	5	726	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	plan a, b, c, and then what if something else comes up. (Preview) As you all know my living situation is less than desirable. A friend of mine has recently been laid off (who hasn't) and I am hoping he might offer to rent me a portion of his house again. I haven't asked. I 'm not going to ask but if he offers I'll take it. I've been really busy setting up a plan a, b.c. I did...	maresie	4	793	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	Need some advice (Preview) I'm new to this board and am seeking advice regarding my alcoholic son. The behaviors he has engaged in, in our home over the last 4-5 years have completely overcome my life and my husbands. He has serious resentment issues with me which I am having difficulty understanding his perception. To fu...	Sower	8	597	Feb 19, 2009 by maresie
	Moments of Gratefulness (Preview) Sometimes when I have time to sit and think, I sometimes go back to the times when My family was a whole and my parents were together, BEFORE my father became an A, I remember all the great Christmas's and all the Great holidays, and now looking back I have come to realize that "THEN" in my mind...	Jozie	5	754	Feb 19, 2009 by shellyj123
	Anybody got the time? (Preview) Good morning, (((Family))) I was getting out of the shower this morning and looked at the clock that I have in there to see if I was running late or not. Then I remembered that the clock in my bathroom has a low battery in it, and has for a couple of weeks now been "running slow". I reminded mysel...	david62	7	646	Feb 19, 2009 by Maria123
	On the verge of emotional meltdown.........ESH desperately needed (Preview) I am soooo at my wits end right now and not sure how to get it together at this point. I am tired,completely and utterly physically exhausted at this point, my house is a nightmare, work is at it's busiest and I can barely concentrate. My son has been really sick since Monday, and I found out yest...	shellyj123	9	1109	Feb 19, 2009 by shellyj123
	How far to go with preventing enabling (Preview) I'm having a hard time with not trying to "control" him. Some things I read say I need to just chill out, have fun- work on making me happy... but then I read about "enabling" and find that if I think it's unexceptable that he's not going to AA meetings and having "a drink onc...	Tree	10	662	Feb 19, 2009 by merry
	Trusting My Higher Power (Preview) I am not new to the rooms of recovery but feel like I am due to the present circumstances. I had been involved a man for about two years. I thought he was probably the sweetest, most attentive and loving man I had ever met. I didn't see any signs of alcoholism or any other addictions, so I did not exactly proc...	Saved By Grace	6	712	Feb 19, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	New and looking for peace (Preview) Hello. I am brand-new to this...I never even heard of Al-Anon until recently. I'm not sure how this all works, but I am in need of some support I suppose. I am married to an alcoholic. We have been married for two years and have a 11 month old daughter. We recently relocated to another state, far away...	Gessie	7	657	Feb 19, 2009 by Christy
	f2f meeting room redo (Preview) I added a chair rail and painted all woodwork white. I used a sage green under the chair rail. With a color two shades lighter mixed with glaze and a wash technique above the chair rail. Floors were stripped, rewaxed and buffed. All windows were cleaned inside and out. All wall decorations changed plac...	Mobirdie	5	771	Feb 19, 2009 by Loupiness
	update on all (Preview) Dear All, As some of you know, I took the bereaved step mothers dog, it has worked out good, took a bit of effort, but I love her to bits. I have less contact with my father now, he does not ring me, I ring to see if all is ok, and am cordial, though I do not like him as a person but he is my father and eighty and livin...	maire rua	1	602	Feb 18, 2009 by Jozie
	New Here, Dont know where to start...but here it goes! (Preview) Hi everyone! This is probably my first time, posting, venting, etc about this. 16 years ago, when I was 16 years old...I had to come to grips that my sister, who I love and worshiped, was a drug addict/alcoholic. I think back then I was in denial, or maybe just didnt fully understand it. Thankfully she...	NiceGal	6	584	Feb 18, 2009 by Maria123
	Obsessing (Preview) I'm finding it really hard not to get sucked back in to making all my time about the new boyfriend. I can't get enough. I want to be with him every free moment and have stopped doing things I need to do. I know this. I just can't seem to stop myself. Why quit something so wonderful??? UGH. It's like I h...	carolinagirl	6	703	Feb 18, 2009 by maire rua
	Technical Question - chat room access (Preview) Sorry to post this here but I have tried emailing the support email and it bounces. I really want to access the chat room/online meetings but my computer won't allow me to install the required active x controls because it is an untrusted publisher. Has anyone else had this problem and know how to fix it...	Ickle Lynnie	1	362	Feb 18, 2009 by Maria123
	I'm scared (Preview) My name is Kelly and I have two little angels and I'm affaid that Daddy may repeat my past childhood. My AH and I have been separated for almost six months now. I had to go to the State because he wouldn't give my any child support. I have only recieved two checks so far these past 3 weeks. We went to have o...	kellys_angels	7	644	Feb 18, 2009 by kellys_angels
	Lonely and Missing Him - Adult Theme (Preview) Hi, After 4 weeks soul searching I have asked AH to move out. Predictably his response has been to hit the bottle, be unkind and engage in self-pitying behaviour while trying to persuade me into bed. I do want to continue our marriage but need some distance in order to cope with his drinking. We haven't...	Ickle Lynnie	7	778	Feb 18, 2009 by kitty
	My recovery has been a rollercoaster...and Man, am I in a big dip. (Preview) So, to give you an update and summary. December 30th I asked my AH to leave the house after relapse after relapse. (He was sober for 8 years...relapsed over and over, went to rehab and then continued to relapse). He has been out of the house since then and continues to be out. He has been sober so far, or at...	Canary	6	559	Feb 18, 2009 by serendipity
	clinging (Preview) I know in my head I have to let go move on with my life. I have made the decision in my logical brain that I have to love me and end this relationship let my ex ab face the consequences of his decisions and respect him enough to let him fix himself. I intended to tell him all this but he is low really low lost evr...	Tracy	4	607	Feb 18, 2009 by java
	doing things differently. (Preview) I met a woman recently who I hope to make a friend as we have a lot of similar issues. There is so much difference in becoming a friend in recovery from codpendence rather than in total denial and hell bent on getting my needs met. First of all I don't submerge her in love bombing, secondly I don't talk to he...	maresie	3	606	Feb 17, 2009 by maresie
	Overwhelmed. (Preview) I'm feeling raw, like I want to cry all of the time. A piece of me wants to just go to sleep and not talk to anyone, while another piece of me is angry and wants to scream at anyone who will listen. I feel sad, and angry, and disgusted all at once. And most of all I feel alone, because my friends and boyfriend don...	smllfry115	7	615	Feb 17, 2009 by Jean4444
	Therapy?? (Preview) I wanted to ask you that have been in therapy or going through therapy now, has it helped you? Can going through this process give you any relief? I can feel myself going backward, I may pull out of it by myself, but if therapy helps I am open to it. I understand that no two people are alike and what may work f...	DreamsOver	4	467	Feb 17, 2009 by db55
	In need of some ESH to get through a gray day~ (Preview) I have prayed to my HP to let me see with open eyes what it is He wants me to see, and again He does not falter. I usually try not to let my EXABF into my thoughts to often, but after hearing the other day that he was seen out with a young girl, I won't lie, it stung and I finally allowed myself some time, almost a w...	shellyj123	1	424	Feb 17, 2009 by kitty
	In Reading... (Preview) Welp today I got up to a sick kid, and things were worrisome none the less, he is sick in bed with a fever, which I am praying works its way thru rather quickly...As I pray...This too will pass.... In reading my devotional books this morning I came across one that mentioned our slogans, and what they mean,...	Jozie	1	488	Feb 17, 2009 by shellyj123
	Husband arrested for DUI last night (Preview) Hi All! It's been a while since I've been here (no major problems the last few months). Unfortunately my husband was arrested last night and our son was in the car. That makes it an automatic felony here in AZ. I happened to be out of the house - it was my night off and I was supposed to be spending a relaxi...	N8SMOM	11	5513	Feb 17, 2009 by N8SMOM
	Step One... step one (Preview) In working Step One, I have come to realize that want to find peace and serenity for my life. I need to change my behaviors and learn how to take care of myself. I realize my life has always been unmanageable due to growing up in an alcohoholic home and currently married to an alcoholic who is in recovery....	brightmommy	3	549	Feb 17, 2009 by hotrod
	Another ramble~ (Preview) Woke up this morning contemplating the meaning of my program and my life. Decided that no matter what, I could not face another week like the past two, where my program was off track and I was struggling with obsessing and what if's and focusing on the A instead of myself. I felt like an insane woman aga...	shellyj123	2	404	Feb 17, 2009 by Mariner
	We all need a little more love every day . . . (Preview) ((((Friends)))), Thanks so much for the well wishes! The last few days have been really tough -- a lot of pain. Keep the prayers coming, I sure do appreciate them. love Maria I got the below from an email this morning and thought we all could use a little more love every day . . . When Children Ages 4-8 wer...	Maria123	3	758	Feb 16, 2009 by wp
	need some ESH please. (Preview) Today I am shakey and tearful....the situation with my A son's health (physical and mental) is deteriorating, I have been speaking with his care workers' and we're all telling him the same thing.....the help is all there for him, but his fears are stopping him taking that 1st step. I am overwhelm...	Ness	5	609	Feb 16, 2009 by Ness
	How did I become the "bad guy"? What next? Need Options Help! (Preview) Ok, so Today my son ask if he can go spend the night with his aunt (the sober one) but I said only if the other aunt (not sober one) was not going to be there. So my 14 yr old proceeds to start explaining "yeah My mom has a problem with her and I don't understand why". Which leads into me making him han...	juicemommie	6	836	Feb 16, 2009 by maire rua
	Just another shared Thought! (Preview) Well after yet again, Lettimg my Abrother, put a wrench in my wonderful day that I had yesterday, I have spoked to my husband and if we have to move it.. "the trailor" we have to move it, either way, when my commitment to my Afather-R.I.P. is up in June, then that is the day that I will worry abo...	Jozie	0	559	Feb 16, 2009 by Jozie
	a-brother deteriorating (Preview) Brother went on bender sunday night, high as a kite, fell broke his wrist, looks in bad shape from second hand accounts, lost the phone I got him, I owe him 30 euro so am thinking that I should get him replacement which he wants and tell him that I used money owed, fair enough isn't it, Teenage son giving me g...	maire rua	7	662	Feb 16, 2009 by maresie
	New here (Preview) My name is Portia. I am from Southern California. I learn of this message board through searching on the web. I hope to learnand meet others as well. I currently am doing meetings online. today it is a little difficult and I hope as times goes by things will improve in my life. I do have an ABF who is still i...	angelpm39	8	668	Feb 16, 2009 by angelpm39
	Married to Mr. Grumpy (Preview) Are you married to this man, too? Yesterday was Valentine's Day. I posted a wish to us all -- myself included. I also bought myself a couple of gifts!!! My AH did nothing. Well, of course -- why was I expecting anything different? I am not whining here -- just venting. I know that I cannot control an...	db55	3	699	Feb 16, 2009 by maresie
	Fell of the wagon- with my drinking that is. (Preview) I knew this was coming. My mood had been bad and I'd been irritable. Went a couple of weeks ago and had two glasses of wine. Convinced myself that it proved I was in control. So last night I tried again and this time failed miserably. This morning I am experiencing all of the results- shakes, headach...	Codependent	7	772	Feb 16, 2009 by maresie
	For my Alanon Family (Preview) (((((Family)))), A friend of mine sent me an email with this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco&feature=email Whenever I feel down, I play this song. I'm not sure when you see it if Pipers would do that. I have seen her chase a deer. But I love the sentiment. Lessons from...	Karilynn	3	555	Feb 16, 2009 by maresie
	New to this group not this disease (Preview) Hi all! I'm new to this group sadly not to the disease. I did belong to another online group but they have changed providers and don't like it now. For me it's the start of race season and the start of mayhem. My fiance of 6 years and 2 children together is an alcoholic, he knows he's an alcoholic and kno...	Holly09	8	628	Feb 16, 2009 by canadianguy
	Starting to breath again (Preview) I shared a while back that my AH wasn't letting me on this site and wasn't letting me go to f2f al-anon meetings. He is a dry drunk, not in a program and has become very controlling and manipulative. He calls me about every 15 minutes I'm out of his site and it was draining me. I called it emotional abuse and I...	java	6	700	Feb 16, 2009 by Maria123
	Another Backslide ....For HIM!!! (Preview) Well today I woke up with excitement on my mind, some of our family & friends were planning to go skating with all our kids and us adults, which they did!!!WE had a great time, My ABrother was suppose to be there as well, but it appears that he didn't have the guts to look me in the eye... See my sister cal...	Jozie	4	1064	Feb 16, 2009 by Jozie
	So lost (Preview) I really do not know what to start with first. All i know is that I have no one to talk to and it is really my fault. I need to vent some where safe and to people who might understand. this is going to be long and I apologize if this is not how it works. I just googles online support for alcoholic family members...	mag	6	623	Feb 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	People pleasing (Preview) Hi everyone havent been on here in a while but I have internet access again at home so will be visiting when ever I can get kids of the computer. Quick overview was married to a compulive gambler for 17 years single for a year then started relationship with my AB. I have never experienced anything like t...	Tracy	5	1205	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	I just don't know??? (Preview) I really dont, for some reason today I can't help but think about how Lazy I have been here of late, I don't know what My problem is..I think sometimes it is the winter weather, but then I think it is something deeper then that! I was doing my reading today, and welp... I can't find my "Hope for Today Bo...	Jozie	5	456	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	decision (Preview) I have got up this morning and worked my program I rang my sponsor and talked about how I want to love me but I feel cruel leaving the a to face the consequences alone. I know the cycle I know what I will get if I keep contact with the A I will be manipulated, I will feel bad about me I will put him first. My A is 34...	Tracy	5	542	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	here we go (Preview) My ab got in touch before after nearly 3 weeks. I was kind I listened he said he had lost his job and didnt want to tell me. He said he had over slept but I rang the night before and he was missing so more likely he got drunk and never went in. Hwe said he has been on self destruct for 3 weeks and suffering from d...	Tracy	4	579	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	Looking back...Sometimes to far.... (Preview) Welp Last night, I blessed myself with another F2F... I was told by one of my new friends the week before that she would like to hear from me, well lets just say I was a touch nervous for I am one that does not like to let anyone down... Well Except for myself, that seems to be a regular thing for me,... So as I si...	Jozie	3	590	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	Valentines day (Preview) I know the "holidays' trigger me so I am trying to keep busy. Nevertheless this morning I had a brain wave. Why not just give myself a lot of love, understanding, care and space. That would be my valentine's day gift for me. I am in the process of cleaning up, organizing and sorting myself out....	maresie	8	552	Feb 15, 2009 by maresie
	Didnt see that coming, Again! (Preview) Hi (((All))) Today I was upbeat and determined to feel good on Valentines day. Read your posts, made a gratitude list and took note of daily reading about opening myself up to the love available to me from people, the Universe, and my Higher Power. Ok in the back of my mind if I'm honest I was hoping for...	Mariner	5	771	Feb 15, 2009 by glad lee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.