The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am easily triggered....in the affairs of the heart mostly.
Tho I am not exploding as I did last week, I do something else that feels old and familiar and unhealthy to me.
I explain feelings till I am blue in the face....I'm not always sure I am even being understood....I just talk in a circuitous way until I find myself feeling better. I talked till the unsettling feelings made sense. And I talk to the person involved in my conflict.....I think I should be writing in my journal, talking to a therapist, just letting the feelings be, and then go. It somehow feels like I am controlling the situation or my own emotions...or creating the story for the two of us if I just make it clear enough in my spoken words.
I know I am wxhausted from sick sleepless kids....but it has been so long since I've felt this way. Maybe it is because I am talking to a sober addict? Is this just the pattern? Or is it every time I get romantically close to someone, this old stuff comes out?
When I did that Fifi my sponsor called it being stuck. Broken record that doesn't work for myself or anyone else. You mentioned some good alternatives without mentioning a sponsor. Face to face meetings and a sponsor it has been said so often here, can help you change a lot of things. I also learned that I was hell on my wife's early recovery in AA. She couldn't handle my part and her part at the same time.
Keep reading and following up on suggestions as best you can cause they come from members who have experienced major positive life changes.
I know when I am explaining myself away I'm lost personally. Detaching seemed to help me. I also know that my pattern is always to rush in. So I changed that pattern than letting go was much easier.
Thank you or your responses and for your understanding.....it still amazes me how similar "our" experiences/ways of coping can be. A few months ago I would have said....wow....it can change. Today I am doubting :( Bit I know I can continue to change, despite the doubt!
