Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Appley · Appley

First off Hi to all, Alot to say ....Worth the read..... I am a mother of a 19 year old cancer kid drug addict and wife of a unproclaimed alcoholic. PHEW 2 years ago my son was dabbling in pot and I am sure other things...we had behavior problems and got him into a therapist...there are stories (night...

Tracy · Tracy

In work today I had health and safety training around risk assessment and lone working. The trainer said we have to explore the risk and dangers and take controlled mesures to protect ourselves and others. I related this to my relationship with the A. Risks and dangers. Wont get my needs met, achieve m...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'm having a bit of a tough time figuring something out and thought perhaps I would bring it to my MIP family for some ESH. I have an upcoming date with my ExABF on the 20th of this month (so far I nor he has canceled it but I won't believe it 100% until we actually have the date). Anyway I feel that I need to set...

Tracy · Tracy

I surrender I get it my life is a mess and I carnt do it. I am not the almighty. I carnt fix it all. I do believe in Hp always have but my will is so strong. I now get it I need to ask him all day every day what the next move should be he knows best (trust). I have been affected by a disease and need him more than ev...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Well weve only just separated after 6 years of marriage, hes about to go back off to his life of riley in the west indies which is just waiting there for him to do this when he couldnt bear the pressure of coming home and going back to AA, which is what he said he would do before he went away in January. AND now i...

david62 · david62

it's a CAT!!!Hi ((((Family)))) I was reading the board just now and came across Karilynn's great post about the cat and dog analogy (comparison of cats/addicts and dogs/codependents). If you haven't read it check it out, it was posted on March 2nd. I just had to start laughing! I had a cat "incid...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Hi everyone, I have a question i thought i would bounce off my fellow alanon family to gain a better understanding for myself. My ABF is in treatment and has been making progress...so things are looking up. I have a question though on something they are teaching him. According to them it is ok to be ang...

chezza · chezza

Hello everyone I decided to post on the board where I'm at at the moment to get some things off my chest on an event that took place last week. I have completely lost a what I thought was a valued friend who I had a relationship with for 6months last year which ended in October last year. We kept the friendsh...

Goodgran · Goodgran

Hi everybody. I have recently written an article for newcomers about attending their very first al-anon meeting, and I'm wondering if it would be allowed for me to put a link to it on here. Thanks. Gran in Texas.

Maria123 · Maria123

((((((((Family))))))))))), One of our very dearest old timers, Mastiff, needs all of our today. Her hubby had a heart attack this morning. Would you please all include her and him in your prayers today? in recovery, Maria

angelchar375 · angelchar375

He seemed to be getting better, on the right track... and then in the blink of an eye, literally, everything spiraled downward and he is hospitalized for consuming enough drugs to have caused an OD. The hand of God spared his life and now, after many emotions and many what do I do... am trying to understa...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (Family) The Family Groups are fun when they get together in service and support to do something that is positive and serves a recovery purpose. Service has its own rewards, for me fun and more growth. I know the serious side of all of the guys and gals in program here. When things get toug...

afglin · afglin

My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...

Jozie · Jozie

I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...

Diane B · Diane B

Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...

Tracy · Tracy

Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...

rebeccaannh · rebeccaannh

I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...

afglin · afglin

Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of my first alanon meeting. My husband has been sober 2 of those 16 years...right now he is not. I have kept attending my meetings, kept doing service work, kept doing online chats, message baords and meetings. I know alanon saved my sanity and my marriage and pro...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Hi everyone, well as you know I have posted on here several times about my binge drinker hubby. The last binge he had was on Super Bowl and I knew one was coming. Sure enough yesterday he called and said he is going to stop at Red Robins for some "wings", um ya , that means beer. That was at 2pm I had...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Just a friendly reminder to those of you who are on Daylight Savings Time. Remember to set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. Yes, that means we loose an hour of ! That means Pipers will be bouncing on my bed even earlier to go out. Got to catch those mous...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi, this morning i woke up having had a sociable evening with friends who I havent seen for ages, it was like old times, pre my AH. But found myself sobbing and feeling inconsolable again when i woke up, in fact, i hate that feeling when i wake up and for a moment, i forget where i am now..then it hits me like a...

gimmpy · gimmpy

my daughter showed up. She was strung out on heroin. she addmitted she has a problem. She confessed a lot. She said she wants to get clean. It is not easy to find a treatment center who will take someone withdrawing from heroin. I was angry, frustrated, tired. the kid was asking for help, and it was not eas...

New member here-- with "functional AH" · orange

So, I feel funny even posting here. I mean, MY H is not an AH, right? And yet, I think he would qualify at times. MOST of the time, he doesn't even want to drink. I do want to drink, and seem to crave it more than him. However, once he does drink, he has trouble stopping. The first night or so, he might jus...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

For those of you who know my story... my A is being released from prison today after a nearly one year sentence. I find myself dreading his call and yet wondering what's happening with him at the same time. I also find myself wondering how long it'll be before he goes back, before I run into him at a bar wh...

Diane B · Diane B

This is my first response. I just found this forum a few minutes ago! I've been in Alanon for about 6 months - 3 meetings a week usually. Anyway, I'm supposed to be the one that 'gets' it so many of the long-timers in Alanon told me anyway. Everyone has been so amazed that I've been sticking to all of the...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Resigned to the fact that some people have no moral conscience and place little value on honesty...that is why the other half of society are seen off...just sick of dishonesty ruling the day. Trying to stay true to myself for without integrity I end up with nothing, so I WILL hold on to my integrity even...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, This past week, something has been terribly "off." While I've been muddling through all the losses in the past year, the divorce, the house not selling, and not being able to get a full-time job, I have recently learned that our assets (including the retirement account) ar...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS came in our house last night after getting a very costly ticket (won't work & does not have car insurance), and came apart on me, my husband & his 15 year old brother; screaming obscenities when his little brother came to answer the door he told him to get out of his f**king face, pushed b...

Jozie · Jozie

Today is sit here...Starting my work day.. "As you can tell i am really buzy"... :)... I YET AGAIN...Allowed my Abrothers life, lifestyle, Drama, and Craziness disrupt my Serenity... Why do I do that ALL the time... I mean I know, "Codepentant", but when is enough, Really Enou...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am not gonna let this disease beat me down.I have choices and I am making them.I got back on track.Thank you for patiently listening to my whining with unconditional love.I could not see half of you rolling your eyes (LOL) thanks to cyberspace!Here is what I did:Went to my shrink and let it all hang out...

Diane B · Diane B

I joined Alanon August '08 after my husband of 28 years revealed in couple's counseling that he was indeed craving alcohol and not just binge drinking any longer. He then announced he needed to move out and 'be alone' to sort it all out. A recovering AA buddy of his is letting him stay in his condo that is...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

AS those of you know that have been following my story......My 12 year old son suffered a concussion on his 12th birthday, and that really made me stop and take a look at the things I was worrying about up to that point (lack of child support, broken dryer, etc)....I realized my son and his health were all...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

I am totally new to Al-anon. I have what I think would be called a functioning alcoholic husband. He goes to work everyday, and he drinks at home a few times a week. But one day a week for the past few months, he has been drinking more. He goes out with a friend after work and comes home basically drunk. He ac...

Pezcande · Pezcande

I am new to all of this...I don't really have anyone I can talk to that understands...I am 29 years old and mother to a 12 year old son. My current husband voluntarily admitted himself into a 28 day inhouse rehab program yesterday for which I am grateful. We have been married since last July and his drinki...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, so it was a really bad day that day. I thought long and hard and did some soul searching and talking to HP and I came to pretty much the exact conclusion that Jerry laid out. I decided that I know we are meant to be together and even if he does go we'll be together again. So I decided I'm not bringing it up...

desperate for help · desperate for help

It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...

RLC · RLC

Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...

Diane B · Diane B

I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...

Annie69 · Annie69

I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?

Jozie · Jozie

All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...

Donna S · Donna S

I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...

Jozie · Jozie

OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...

Tracy · Tracy

My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...

maryam · maryam

Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...

maresie · maresie

http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...

ddub · ddub

"don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...

Diva · Diva

I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva

gimmpy · gimmpy

My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...

glad lee · glad lee

I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Stop the rollercoaster! New (Preview) First off Hi to all, Alot to say ....Worth the read..... I am a mother of a 19 year old cancer kid drug addict and wife of a unproclaimed alcoholic. PHEW 2 years ago my son was dabbling in pot and I am sure other things...we had behavior problems and got him into a therapist...there are stories (night...	Appley	4	403	Mar 11, 2009 by maresie
	risk assessment (Preview) In work today I had health and safety training around risk assessment and lone working. The trainer said we have to explore the risk and dangers and take controlled mesures to protect ourselves and others. I related this to my relationship with the A. Risks and dangers. Wont get my needs met, achieve m...	Tracy	2	466	Mar 11, 2009 by maresie
	Boundaries v/s Projecting (Preview) I'm having a bit of a tough time figuring something out and thought perhaps I would bring it to my MIP family for some ESH. I have an upcoming date with my ExABF on the 20th of this month (so far I nor he has canceled it but I won't believe it 100% until we actually have the date). Anyway I feel that I need to set...	shellyj123	7	835	Mar 11, 2009 by Winddancer30
	surrender (Preview) I surrender I get it my life is a mess and I carnt do it. I am not the almighty. I carnt fix it all. I do believe in Hp always have but my will is so strong. I now get it I need to ask him all day every day what the next move should be he knows best (trust). I have been affected by a disease and need him more than ev...	Tracy	3	860	Mar 11, 2009 by shellyj123
	photo of nubile pole dancing argentinian pole dancer on my AH facebook (Preview) Well weve only just separated after 6 years of marriage, hes about to go back off to his life of riley in the west indies which is just waiting there for him to do this when he couldnt bear the pressure of coming home and going back to AA, which is what he said he would do before he went away in January. AND now i...	Lilly Burn	10	1145	Mar 11, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	If it hisses like a cat..... (Preview) it's a CAT!!!Hi ((((Family)))) I was reading the board just now and came across Karilynn's great post about the cat and dog analogy (comparison of cats/addicts and dogs/codependents). If you haven't read it check it out, it was posted on March 2nd. I just had to start laughing! I had a cat "incid...	david62	14	930	Mar 10, 2009 by maresie
	Dealing with anger (Preview) Hi everyone, I have a question i thought i would bounce off my fellow alanon family to gain a better understanding for myself. My ABF is in treatment and has been making progress...so things are looking up. I have a question though on something they are teaching him. According to them it is ok to be ang...	inhisarms	7	755	Mar 10, 2009 by kitty
	Recovery coming first over friendship (Preview) Hello everyone I decided to post on the board where I'm at at the moment to get some things off my chest on an event that took place last week. I have completely lost a what I thought was a valued friend who I had a relationship with for 6months last year which ended in October last year. We kept the friendsh...	chezza	6	784	Mar 10, 2009 by chezza
	Is it against the rules to put a link in a message? (Preview) Hi everybody. I have recently written an article for newcomers about attending their very first al-anon meeting, and I'm wondering if it would be allowed for me to put a link to it on here. Thanks. Gran in Texas.	Goodgran	4	687	Mar 10, 2009 by Goodgran
	BIG PRAYERS NEEDED TODAY for Mastiff (Preview) ((((((((Family))))))))))), One of our very dearest old timers, Mastiff, needs all of our today. Her hubby had a heart attack this morning. Would you please all include her and him in your prayers today? in recovery, Maria	Maria123	14	814	Mar 10, 2009 by Christy
	how to cope after AH attemps suicide (Preview) He seemed to be getting better, on the right track... and then in the blink of an eye, literally, everything spiraled downward and he is hospitalized for consuming enough drugs to have caused an OD. The hand of God spared his life and now, after many emotions and many what do I do... am trying to understa...	angelchar375	7	911	Mar 9, 2009 by angelchar375
	That was a lot of fun!! (Preview) Aloha Ohana (Family) The Family Groups are fun when they get together in service and support to do something that is positive and serves a recovery purpose. Service has its own rewards, for me fun and more growth. I know the serious side of all of the guys and gals in program here. When things get toug...	Jerry F	5	831	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	My Story (Preview) My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...	afglin	9	929	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Nothing but Gods Beauty... (Preview) I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...	Jozie	5	779	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Leaving without a backward glance (Preview) Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...	Lilly Burn	7	735	Mar 9, 2009 by maresie
	Staying on TOPIC! (Preview) I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...	Hoot Nanny	8	998	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	DETACHMENT (Preview) Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...	Diane B	5	2703	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	mixed emotions (Preview) Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...	Tracy	5	465	Mar 9, 2009 by Loupiness
	When alanon is thrown in your face (Preview) Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...	inhisarms	10	865	Mar 8, 2009 by afglin
	HOW TO DEAL???? (Preview) I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...	rebeccaannh	6	1604	Mar 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	I finally ENJOYED my children! (Preview) I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...	Inpain	4	630	Mar 8, 2009 by M's Mommy
	ALAnon anniversary (Preview) Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of my first alanon meeting. My husband has been sober 2 of those 16 years...right now he is not. I have kept attending my meetings, kept doing service work, kept doing online chats, message baords and meetings. I know alanon saved my sanity and my marriage and pro...	afglin	13	567	Mar 8, 2009 by afglin
	Hubby got a DUI last night (Preview) Hi everyone, well as you know I have posted on here several times about my binge drinker hubby. The last binge he had was on Super Bowl and I knew one was coming. Sure enough yesterday he called and said he is going to stop at Red Robins for some "wings", um ya , that means beer. That was at 2pm I had...	princessloretta	6	717	Mar 8, 2009 by canadianguy
	Daylight Savings Time Reminder (Preview) ((((Family))), Just a friendly reminder to those of you who are on Daylight Savings Time. Remember to set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. Yes, that means we loose an hour of ! That means Pipers will be bouncing on my bed even earlier to go out. Got to catch those mous...	Karilynn	0	296	Mar 7, 2009 by Karilynn
	Mornings are hardest.. (Preview) Hi, this morning i woke up having had a sociable evening with friends who I havent seen for ages, it was like old times, pre my AH. But found myself sobbing and feeling inconsolable again when i woke up, in fact, i hate that feeling when i wake up and for a moment, i forget where i am now..then it hits me like a...	Lilly Burn	2	579	Mar 7, 2009 by Karilynn
	keeping hope without expecting it (Preview) my daughter showed up. She was strung out on heroin. she addmitted she has a problem. She confessed a lot. She said she wants to get clean. It is not easy to find a treatment center who will take someone withdrawing from heroin. I was angry, frustrated, tired. the kid was asking for help, and it was not eas...	gimmpy	3	801	Mar 7, 2009 by Jean4444
	New member here-- with "functional AH" (Preview) So, I feel funny even posting here. I mean, MY H is not an AH, right? And yet, I think he would qualify at times. MOST of the time, he doesn't even want to drink. I do want to drink, and seem to crave it more than him. However, once he does drink, he has trouble stopping. The first night or so, he might jus...	orange	14	926	Mar 6, 2009 by curlee-girl
	How do you have hope for the A? (Preview) For those of you who know my story... my A is being released from prison today after a nearly one year sentence. I find myself dreading his call and yet wondering what's happening with him at the same time. I also find myself wondering how long it'll be before he goes back, before I run into him at a bar wh...	carolinagirl	6	848	Mar 6, 2009 by curlee-girl
	don't start a crisis (Preview) This is my first response. I just found this forum a few minutes ago! I've been in Alanon for about 6 months - 3 meetings a week usually. Anyway, I'm supposed to be the one that 'gets' it so many of the long-timers in Alanon told me anyway. Everyone has been so amazed that I've been sticking to all of the...	Diane B	10	711	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Lost my appeal... (Preview) Resigned to the fact that some people have no moral conscience and place little value on honesty...that is why the other half of society are seen off...just sick of dishonesty ruling the day. Trying to stay true to myself for without integrity I end up with nothing, so I WILL hold on to my integrity even...	Suzannah	9	753	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Getting balanced again, crawling out of depression (Preview) Dear Family, This past week, something has been terribly "off." While I've been muddling through all the losses in the past year, the divorce, the house not selling, and not being able to get a full-time job, I have recently learned that our assets (including the retirement account) ar...	glad lee	11	1086	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Second Guessing.... (Preview) My AS came in our house last night after getting a very costly ticket (won't work & does not have car insurance), and came apart on me, my husband & his 15 year old brother; screaming obscenities when his little brother came to answer the door he told him to get out of his f**king face, pushed b...	DreamsOver	7	831	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Whelp???? (Preview) Today is sit here...Starting my work day.. "As you can tell i am really buzy"... :)... I YET AGAIN...Allowed my Abrothers life, lifestyle, Drama, and Craziness disrupt my Serenity... Why do I do that ALL the time... I mean I know, "Codepentant", but when is enough, Really Enou...	Jozie	8	706	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	back on track (Preview) I am not gonna let this disease beat me down.I have choices and I am making them.I got back on track.Thank you for patiently listening to my whining with unconditional love.I could not see half of you rolling your eyes (LOL) thanks to cyberspace!Here is what I did:Went to my shrink and let it all hang out...	Jean4444	5	449	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	A typical story..... (Preview) I joined Alanon August '08 after my husband of 28 years revealed in couple's counseling that he was indeed craving alcohol and not just binge drinking any longer. He then announced he needed to move out and 'be alone' to sort it all out. A recovering AA buddy of his is letting him stay in his condo that is...	Diane B	3	621	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Priorities, faith and hope (Preview) AS those of you know that have been following my story......My 12 year old son suffered a concussion on his 12th birthday, and that really made me stop and take a look at the things I was worrying about up to that point (lack of child support, broken dryer, etc)....I realized my son and his health were all...	shellyj123	5	576	Mar 6, 2009 by gngcrzy
	New here (Preview) I am totally new to Al-anon. I have what I think would be called a functioning alcoholic husband. He goes to work everyday, and he drinks at home a few times a week. But one day a week for the past few months, he has been drinking more. He goes out with a friend after work and comes home basically drunk. He ac...	M's Mommy	10	747	Mar 6, 2009 by M's Mommy
	This is my second marriage and second experience with alcoholism... (Preview) I am new to all of this...I don't really have anyone I can talk to that understands...I am 29 years old and mother to a 12 year old son. My current husband voluntarily admitted himself into a 28 day inhouse rehab program yesterday for which I am grateful. We have been married since last July and his drinki...	Pezcande	10	635	Mar 6, 2009 by kitty
	Update (Preview) Ok, so it was a really bad day that day. I thought long and hard and did some soul searching and talking to HP and I came to pretty much the exact conclusion that Jerry laid out. I decided that I know we are meant to be together and even if he does go we'll be together again. So I decided I'm not bringing it up...	carolinagirl	4	609	Mar 6, 2009 by Karilynn
	today was my 40th b-day and I didn't even get a cake! (Preview) It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...	desperate for help	26	1052	Mar 5, 2009 by desperate for help
	Last Night Was My Best Al-Anon Experience Ever!!!!! (Preview) Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...	RLC	6	740	Mar 5, 2009 by Ness
	Add physical exercise (Preview) I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...	Diane B	2	748	Mar 5, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Blame Game (Preview) I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?	Annie69	9	789	Mar 4, 2009 by Annie69
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! Part #2 (Preview) All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...	Jozie	2	691	Mar 4, 2009 by Jozie
	Husband Relapsed after 106 Days (Preview) I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...	Donna S	8	909	Mar 4, 2009 by Diane B
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! (Preview) OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...	Jozie	4	917	Mar 4, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feeling like a bull in a china shop... (Preview) Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...	Jean4444	8	528	Mar 4, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Sad day hearing from AH after 5 weeks (Preview) My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...	Lilly Burn	4	490	Mar 4, 2009 by Winddancer30
	Courage... (Preview) Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...	Suzannah	5	654	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	withdrawing (Preview) My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...	Tracy	3	650	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	update...... b/f alcoholic and now crack (Preview) Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...	maryam	5	871	Mar 4, 2009 by Diva
	Love Addiction (Preview) http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...	maresie	4	589	Mar 3, 2009 by curlee-girl
	don't leave until (Preview) "don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...	ddub	6	649	Mar 3, 2009 by Diane B
	Trouble keeping program and HP center stage. (Preview) I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...	shellyj123	6	684	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Scared to death! (Preview) I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...	carolinagirl	8	541	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Perspectives.... (Preview) I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...	canadianguy	8	601	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	Just when you thought you were safe....... (Preview) I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva	Diva	20	759	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	having a nervous breakdown (Preview) My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...	gimmpy	5	800	Mar 3, 2009 by gimmpy
	Avoiding resentment (Preview) I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...	glad lee	7	525	Mar 3, 2009 by Winddancer30
	What an UNBELIVABLE day~a parent's worst nightmare (Preview) AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...	shellyj123	10	519	Mar 3, 2009 by Christy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.