Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

afglin · afglin

My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...

Jozie · Jozie

I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...

Diane B · Diane B

Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...

Tracy · Tracy

Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...

inhisarms · inhisarms

Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...

rebeccaannh · rebeccaannh

I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...

afglin · afglin

Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of my first alanon meeting. My husband has been sober 2 of those 16 years...right now he is not. I have kept attending my meetings, kept doing service work, kept doing online chats, message baords and meetings. I know alanon saved my sanity and my marriage and pro...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Hi everyone, well as you know I have posted on here several times about my binge drinker hubby. The last binge he had was on Super Bowl and I knew one was coming. Sure enough yesterday he called and said he is going to stop at Red Robins for some "wings", um ya , that means beer. That was at 2pm I had...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family))), Just a friendly reminder to those of you who are on Daylight Savings Time. Remember to set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. Yes, that means we loose an hour of ! That means Pipers will be bouncing on my bed even earlier to go out. Got to catch those mous...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Hi, this morning i woke up having had a sociable evening with friends who I havent seen for ages, it was like old times, pre my AH. But found myself sobbing and feeling inconsolable again when i woke up, in fact, i hate that feeling when i wake up and for a moment, i forget where i am now..then it hits me like a...

gimmpy · gimmpy

my daughter showed up. She was strung out on heroin. she addmitted she has a problem. She confessed a lot. She said she wants to get clean. It is not easy to find a treatment center who will take someone withdrawing from heroin. I was angry, frustrated, tired. the kid was asking for help, and it was not eas...

New member here-- with "functional AH" · orange

So, I feel funny even posting here. I mean, MY H is not an AH, right? And yet, I think he would qualify at times. MOST of the time, he doesn't even want to drink. I do want to drink, and seem to crave it more than him. However, once he does drink, he has trouble stopping. The first night or so, he might jus...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

For those of you who know my story... my A is being released from prison today after a nearly one year sentence. I find myself dreading his call and yet wondering what's happening with him at the same time. I also find myself wondering how long it'll be before he goes back, before I run into him at a bar wh...

Diane B · Diane B

This is my first response. I just found this forum a few minutes ago! I've been in Alanon for about 6 months - 3 meetings a week usually. Anyway, I'm supposed to be the one that 'gets' it so many of the long-timers in Alanon told me anyway. Everyone has been so amazed that I've been sticking to all of the...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Resigned to the fact that some people have no moral conscience and place little value on honesty...that is why the other half of society are seen off...just sick of dishonesty ruling the day. Trying to stay true to myself for without integrity I end up with nothing, so I WILL hold on to my integrity even...

glad lee · glad lee

Dear Family, This past week, something has been terribly "off." While I've been muddling through all the losses in the past year, the divorce, the house not selling, and not being able to get a full-time job, I have recently learned that our assets (including the retirement account) ar...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS came in our house last night after getting a very costly ticket (won't work & does not have car insurance), and came apart on me, my husband & his 15 year old brother; screaming obscenities when his little brother came to answer the door he told him to get out of his f**king face, pushed b...

Jozie · Jozie

Today is sit here...Starting my work day.. "As you can tell i am really buzy"... :)... I YET AGAIN...Allowed my Abrothers life, lifestyle, Drama, and Craziness disrupt my Serenity... Why do I do that ALL the time... I mean I know, "Codepentant", but when is enough, Really Enou...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am not gonna let this disease beat me down.I have choices and I am making them.I got back on track.Thank you for patiently listening to my whining with unconditional love.I could not see half of you rolling your eyes (LOL) thanks to cyberspace!Here is what I did:Went to my shrink and let it all hang out...

Diane B · Diane B

I joined Alanon August '08 after my husband of 28 years revealed in couple's counseling that he was indeed craving alcohol and not just binge drinking any longer. He then announced he needed to move out and 'be alone' to sort it all out. A recovering AA buddy of his is letting him stay in his condo that is...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

AS those of you know that have been following my story......My 12 year old son suffered a concussion on his 12th birthday, and that really made me stop and take a look at the things I was worrying about up to that point (lack of child support, broken dryer, etc)....I realized my son and his health were all...

M's Mommy · M's Mommy

I am totally new to Al-anon. I have what I think would be called a functioning alcoholic husband. He goes to work everyday, and he drinks at home a few times a week. But one day a week for the past few months, he has been drinking more. He goes out with a friend after work and comes home basically drunk. He ac...

Pezcande · Pezcande

I am new to all of this...I don't really have anyone I can talk to that understands...I am 29 years old and mother to a 12 year old son. My current husband voluntarily admitted himself into a 28 day inhouse rehab program yesterday for which I am grateful. We have been married since last July and his drinki...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok, so it was a really bad day that day. I thought long and hard and did some soul searching and talking to HP and I came to pretty much the exact conclusion that Jerry laid out. I decided that I know we are meant to be together and even if he does go we'll be together again. So I decided I'm not bringing it up...

desperate for help · desperate for help

It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...

RLC · RLC

Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...

Diane B · Diane B

I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...

Annie69 · Annie69

I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?

Jozie · Jozie

All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...

Donna S · Donna S

I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...

Jozie · Jozie

OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...

Tracy · Tracy

My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...

maryam · maryam

Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...

maresie · maresie

http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...

ddub · ddub

"don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...

Diva · Diva

I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva

gimmpy · gimmpy

My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...

glad lee · glad lee

I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), I hope you have all had a good weekend. To those of you that are in the path of the northeast snowstorm, stay safe. Please feel free to send some of it my way. I'm just slightly too far west of it to get any - maybe a flurry or two. You all know how much I love the snow. Anyway, my niece and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I cannot do anything about my mom, my husband or anyone unless I first focus on me. I tend to get into their business too much. I am so grateful for their prescence in my life. Today I am sitting in the library trying to get my head together & do what is in front of me. This perticular day is a Monday &...

Jozie · Jozie

Well... It has been an Up & Down kind of weekend...Never boring that is for sure...Friday I had read in my devotional books that I should conquer my fears...Well I couldn't think of any...lol... Well 100% of the time since I started F2F meeting it has been my Sister in law... (Which I love that we sha...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I am hating my job and I cannot seem to stop. I need to stop hating my job. I need to keep my job even though everything (sick) in me is screaming for me to quit. I just took a week off to deal with my storage unit leftover from my marriage which was a pretty horrible week, generally. Big bad reminders of tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well today is my son's birthday and I was bound and determined last night that I would not project and worry my way through it....but here I am so I must need some ESH. I'm having quit the time staying focused.....but am diggin in with both feet and trying. To update a bit, my EXABF sent me an email and aske...

Loupiness · Loupiness

It was chaos at my house tonight. Don't even know what happened. My 4 yr old ended up hysterical because he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly in a video game with my daughter and the neighbors boys, my 15 yr old tried to fix it and became angry when he couldn't, and my daughter stirred the pot. As f...

Cyn · Cyn

Yesterday was a bit rough to say the least. I turned my phone off for the last week, when I turned it on Thursday, there were 4 VM and 2 texts from my A. All very sweet, each VM a bit more urgent. So I called him back yesterday morning. He was overly sweet, excited to talk to me, couldnt really chat because...

maresie · maresie

Last night I went to see Johnny Cash at Folsom prison which is an independent movie. As some of you may know Johnny and June Carter Cash gave a concert at Folsom prison. During that time Johnny met an accomplished musician, Glen Shirley and eventually championed him and when he was released from priso...

Maria123 · Maria123

The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered &...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Recovery is all about taking care of ourselves. It's getting emotionally and physically healthy. It's about living strong. Every October I remind you to get those mamograms. A friend of mine who works for a nonprofit group sent me an email. She has thoroughly checked this site...

beachmum · beachmum

Hi all, I'm new to the board. I hope to get some help here, since I don't know where else to turn. my boyfriend of 3 years is a food addict. When I first started dating him, I had known him for years; he had ballooned in weight to what he said was 450lbs, and he had blamed his past really awful marriage for his o...

Tracy · Tracy

I am very confused my inner voice/gods will comes to me when I meditate and through other alanoners, literature etc. All this guidance tells me I need to love me, that its not my responsibility to control, rescue others. That I am powerless over the A and I need to make healthy choices for myself.. I k...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My Story (Preview) My story I grew up in an upper middle class family where both parents were alcoholics. Drinking and fighting and arguing was the only way I knew life to be. At an early age I took on things like cooking and cleaning so my mom could remain passed out and dad would not fuss when he got home. I rarely invited...	afglin	9	918	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Nothing but Gods Beauty... (Preview) I just wanted to share with you all what a wonderful weeknd I had... Friday night me & Sis in law went to our "Much Needed" F2f meeting, was great... with exception to the migrain I had thru out.. THink that was mostly the stress build up after Abrother last week, but lived and found my grou...	Jozie	5	765	Mar 9, 2009 by Peggy7
	Leaving without a backward glance (Preview) Ive just spoken to my sister and she says she is amazed that my AH is just leaving without a backward glance. Everything ive read suggests that its hard to lose an AH but this one seems to be well and truly on the run...hes got the chance to be far away and thats what he is doing, leaving our life, his business...	Lilly Burn	7	719	Mar 9, 2009 by maresie
	Staying on TOPIC! (Preview) I was informed that it is very important to stay on topic. I have so much trouble with this even after 23 years! Meetings with me get kinda strange sometimes because I go off on tangents and I am seeing that I do a lot on this forum. To anyone who is reading this: I am sorry for the terrible scattered brain...	Hoot Nanny	8	983	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	DETACHMENT (Preview) Leave an A up to their HP and start the bookmark of DETACHMENT for yourself. If you don't go to face to face meetings (first of all, GO!) , here is what is on that bookmark....I keep mine right in my wallet next to my money where I always know where it is! 1-don't suffer because of the action or reations o...	Diane B	5	2636	Mar 9, 2009 by Mobirdie
	mixed emotions (Preview) Just been to a x factor tour concert with my little girl I dont think I was even there. One minute the songs were making me miss the A. Next I was tellin myself I dont believe in love have to look after number one. Then beating myself up about stayin for four years. Then my programme kicked in I told mysel...	Tracy	5	448	Mar 9, 2009 by Loupiness
	When alanon is thrown in your face (Preview) Ok, so i have been doing my alanon program and really trying to let go let God. Things have been pretty good considering the Abf is in treatment and he has even said several time that he can see me changing and he is so proud of me and my program. So today we have an arguement and i said " i am not going to a...	inhisarms	10	852	Mar 8, 2009 by afglin
	HOW TO DEAL???? (Preview) I am a new member of Al-Anon. I've been twice to my local meeting place. I know this is a valuable place for me. I do not yet have a sponsor... I am trying to figure out my place in all of this. I AM NOT THE ALCOHOLIC. HE IS. After failing miserably once at trying to control his drinking (after attending my 1st...	rebeccaannh	6	1587	Mar 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	I finally ENJOYED my children! (Preview) I'm a newbie. So new, I don't even know the 12 steps, but just bought 4 books including the AA manual, Co-dependent no more, adult children of alcoholics and another Co-Dependent no more book. My A has been in meetings for 2.5 months and I'm not sure he took it seriously. Two nights ago, I started read...	Inpain	4	619	Mar 8, 2009 by M's Mommy
	ALAnon anniversary (Preview) Yesterday was the 16th anniversary of my first alanon meeting. My husband has been sober 2 of those 16 years...right now he is not. I have kept attending my meetings, kept doing service work, kept doing online chats, message baords and meetings. I know alanon saved my sanity and my marriage and pro...	afglin	13	551	Mar 8, 2009 by afglin
	Hubby got a DUI last night (Preview) Hi everyone, well as you know I have posted on here several times about my binge drinker hubby. The last binge he had was on Super Bowl and I knew one was coming. Sure enough yesterday he called and said he is going to stop at Red Robins for some "wings", um ya , that means beer. That was at 2pm I had...	princessloretta	6	704	Mar 8, 2009 by canadianguy
	Daylight Savings Time Reminder (Preview) ((((Family))), Just a friendly reminder to those of you who are on Daylight Savings Time. Remember to set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed on Saturday night. Yes, that means we loose an hour of ! That means Pipers will be bouncing on my bed even earlier to go out. Got to catch those mous...	Karilynn	0	282	Mar 7, 2009 by Karilynn
	Mornings are hardest.. (Preview) Hi, this morning i woke up having had a sociable evening with friends who I havent seen for ages, it was like old times, pre my AH. But found myself sobbing and feeling inconsolable again when i woke up, in fact, i hate that feeling when i wake up and for a moment, i forget where i am now..then it hits me like a...	Lilly Burn	2	566	Mar 7, 2009 by Karilynn
	keeping hope without expecting it (Preview) my daughter showed up. She was strung out on heroin. she addmitted she has a problem. She confessed a lot. She said she wants to get clean. It is not easy to find a treatment center who will take someone withdrawing from heroin. I was angry, frustrated, tired. the kid was asking for help, and it was not eas...	gimmpy	3	787	Mar 7, 2009 by Jean4444
	New member here-- with "functional AH" (Preview) So, I feel funny even posting here. I mean, MY H is not an AH, right? And yet, I think he would qualify at times. MOST of the time, he doesn't even want to drink. I do want to drink, and seem to crave it more than him. However, once he does drink, he has trouble stopping. The first night or so, he might jus...	orange	14	913	Mar 6, 2009 by curlee-girl
	How do you have hope for the A? (Preview) For those of you who know my story... my A is being released from prison today after a nearly one year sentence. I find myself dreading his call and yet wondering what's happening with him at the same time. I also find myself wondering how long it'll be before he goes back, before I run into him at a bar wh...	carolinagirl	6	823	Mar 6, 2009 by curlee-girl
	don't start a crisis (Preview) This is my first response. I just found this forum a few minutes ago! I've been in Alanon for about 6 months - 3 meetings a week usually. Anyway, I'm supposed to be the one that 'gets' it so many of the long-timers in Alanon told me anyway. Everyone has been so amazed that I've been sticking to all of the...	Diane B	10	700	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Lost my appeal... (Preview) Resigned to the fact that some people have no moral conscience and place little value on honesty...that is why the other half of society are seen off...just sick of dishonesty ruling the day. Trying to stay true to myself for without integrity I end up with nothing, so I WILL hold on to my integrity even...	Suzannah	9	739	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Getting balanced again, crawling out of depression (Preview) Dear Family, This past week, something has been terribly "off." While I've been muddling through all the losses in the past year, the divorce, the house not selling, and not being able to get a full-time job, I have recently learned that our assets (including the retirement account) ar...	glad lee	11	1069	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Second Guessing.... (Preview) My AS came in our house last night after getting a very costly ticket (won't work & does not have car insurance), and came apart on me, my husband & his 15 year old brother; screaming obscenities when his little brother came to answer the door he told him to get out of his f**king face, pushed b...	DreamsOver	7	819	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Whelp???? (Preview) Today is sit here...Starting my work day.. "As you can tell i am really buzy"... :)... I YET AGAIN...Allowed my Abrothers life, lifestyle, Drama, and Craziness disrupt my Serenity... Why do I do that ALL the time... I mean I know, "Codepentant", but when is enough, Really Enou...	Jozie	8	684	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	back on track (Preview) I am not gonna let this disease beat me down.I have choices and I am making them.I got back on track.Thank you for patiently listening to my whining with unconditional love.I could not see half of you rolling your eyes (LOL) thanks to cyberspace!Here is what I did:Went to my shrink and let it all hang out...	Jean4444	5	438	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	A typical story..... (Preview) I joined Alanon August '08 after my husband of 28 years revealed in couple's counseling that he was indeed craving alcohol and not just binge drinking any longer. He then announced he needed to move out and 'be alone' to sort it all out. A recovering AA buddy of his is letting him stay in his condo that is...	Diane B	3	607	Mar 6, 2009 by maresie
	Priorities, faith and hope (Preview) AS those of you know that have been following my story......My 12 year old son suffered a concussion on his 12th birthday, and that really made me stop and take a look at the things I was worrying about up to that point (lack of child support, broken dryer, etc)....I realized my son and his health were all...	shellyj123	5	562	Mar 6, 2009 by gngcrzy
	New here (Preview) I am totally new to Al-anon. I have what I think would be called a functioning alcoholic husband. He goes to work everyday, and he drinks at home a few times a week. But one day a week for the past few months, he has been drinking more. He goes out with a friend after work and comes home basically drunk. He ac...	M's Mommy	10	733	Mar 6, 2009 by M's Mommy
	This is my second marriage and second experience with alcoholism... (Preview) I am new to all of this...I don't really have anyone I can talk to that understands...I am 29 years old and mother to a 12 year old son. My current husband voluntarily admitted himself into a 28 day inhouse rehab program yesterday for which I am grateful. We have been married since last July and his drinki...	Pezcande	10	620	Mar 6, 2009 by kitty
	Update (Preview) Ok, so it was a really bad day that day. I thought long and hard and did some soul searching and talking to HP and I came to pretty much the exact conclusion that Jerry laid out. I decided that I know we are meant to be together and even if he does go we'll be together again. So I decided I'm not bringing it up...	carolinagirl	4	595	Mar 6, 2009 by Karilynn
	today was my 40th b-day and I didn't even get a cake! (Preview) It's childish, I know. But AH didn't even bother to get me a birthday cake. He was able to go pick up our take out food for dinner and get smashed while waiting for it, but couldn't think of me. My three kids felt so bad, but it's not their fault. They expected Dad to take of it. This disease really pisse...	desperate for help	26	1033	Mar 5, 2009 by desperate for help
	Last Night Was My Best Al-Anon Experience Ever!!!!! (Preview) Hello To ALL, I am in this program for myself. Taking care of yourself "first" is the first thing we are told when we walk through the doors of Al-Anon. We must never forget that. The second reason I am in the program is to give back, share with others my ESH of the experiences I have had or lea...	RLC	6	721	Mar 5, 2009 by Ness
	Add physical exercise (Preview) I love serenity.....can I share one new topic I used as a reply a minute ago? For me anyway, the new me HAD to add physical exercise. It is so theraputic and so good for you anyway - not to mention your outward appearance improves even if your inward appearance is about the wig-out! Everyone during ha...	Diane B	2	738	Mar 5, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Blame Game (Preview) I have a question. I live with an A and he drinks all the time. He says hurtful things and blames me for everything wrong and I'm the reason he drinks. The question is/ Why do I blame myself for his drinking?	Annie69	9	764	Mar 4, 2009 by Annie69
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! Part #2 (Preview) All (3) of you make very good points...(((((Shelly, Christy, WD))))))) June is the 6 month the state needed for me to settle dad's debts, they make you wait 6 months so that if there is anyone out there, that my father owed money then they have till then to get ahold of me...After June, they close all his c...	Jozie	2	678	Mar 4, 2009 by Jozie
	Husband Relapsed after 106 Days (Preview) I told him when he went into rehab last time (after a major binge) that this was it, if he drank again I was done and he'd have to move out. But he was really working the program and working on his issues until about two days ago. I saw the red flags before he did. New he was going to drink but couldn't do anythin...	Donna S	8	888	Mar 4, 2009 by Diane B
	Need ESH & Strength... LOTS OF IT!!! (Preview) OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) month...	Jozie	4	902	Mar 4, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feeling like a bull in a china shop... (Preview) Its like walking on eggshells. What is this about? Why am I so afraid to be who I am at my job? I guess its because if they do not approve or "like" me, they can fire me or ask me to leave. Its like there is this whole subtext there that I do not "get" and it keeps tripping me up- rules t...	Jean4444	8	512	Mar 4, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Sad day hearing from AH after 5 weeks (Preview) My AH finally returned from abroad on monday and got in touch this morning. I have said i dont want to see him because i have to protect myself and am frightened i would beg him to come back. He says its a mixture of chemistry and his mind that has caused this final split, he has left me many times before. This...	Lilly Burn	4	477	Mar 4, 2009 by Winddancer30
	Courage... (Preview) Okay family, Just heard today that the papers from my medical have been lost and the appeal that I am to attend tomorrow may be affected by this. My advizer says: If the medical report had been negative then my case is helped by the report being lost and not received by the tribunal; on the other hand if th...	Suzannah	5	639	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	withdrawing (Preview) My exab brings lots of madness and pain into my life. I have a good job I enjoy, two beautiful, healthy children. Enough money to pay my bills. My own health. Lots of friends in alanon, a loving mother, father and brother. Yet i miss him so much the closeness I know this shows me that I need time alone. ...	Tracy	3	634	Mar 4, 2009 by shellyj123
	update...... b/f alcoholic and now crack (Preview) Last post I was talking about leaving, well after finding out about him now smoking crack and the last argument when i threatened to have someome come beat on him for the treatment i was getting, He got a knife and pushed me to the otherside of room sticking the knife into the wall next to my head, and sayin...	maryam	5	848	Mar 4, 2009 by Diva
	Love Addiction (Preview) http://www.rachelresnick.com/QandA/index.html For me personally love addiction goes hand in hand with my codependency and they are core issues although I certainly have plenty of issues! There is an interesting memoir out at the moment that has a very good grasp on love addiction called love ju...	maresie	4	576	Mar 3, 2009 by curlee-girl
	don't leave until (Preview) "don't leave until the miracles start to happen" echos in my ears as I re-live last weeks happenings. 3 wks ago I told my AH I wanted to live in a non alcoholic home with a non alcoholic family. We might need to separate for 3 mos so at least our kids have one healthy parent. Then see what to do...	ddub	6	629	Mar 3, 2009 by Diane B
	Trouble keeping program and HP center stage. (Preview) I have noticed that since I finished my first round through the steps I am struggling to keep the program and HP the center of my life where I know both should be. Don't get me wrong I am still very much working the program but when I was working the steps more concentrated though the first round of the st...	shellyj123	6	661	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Scared to death! (Preview) I'm going to try to sum up a really complicated situation. My boyfriend who is the greatest man I have ever had in my life has been informed by his HP that he must choose between me (who he loves as much as I love him) and his purpose in life (ie god's will for him or path for him). I posted a while back about ho...	carolinagirl	8	530	Mar 3, 2009 by Jean4444
	Perspectives.... (Preview) I was reminded the other day (and likely every day), of how much the perspectives that WE bring to every situation affect us, and our ability to manage / accept situations, people, etc.... It reminded me of a great story from John Gray - author of the Mars & Venus books.... One of his self-help tape...	canadianguy	8	586	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	Just when you thought you were safe....... (Preview) I have taken a little hiatus from MIP, but am now ready to rejoin you with renewed vigor. I will be catching up on all of you who I love so dearly, and getting to know the new members as well. I send best of good wishes to everyone. Diva	Diva	20	743	Mar 3, 2009 by Suzannah
	having a nervous breakdown (Preview) My 21 year old is in deep with drugs it appears. She hit a deer with her car, again. She received a $1600 check from insurance. She took the check, did not get the car repaired and has disapeared. She is not answering our calls or text messages. Now work called and says she hasn't shown up there. chances are...	gimmpy	5	782	Mar 3, 2009 by gimmpy
	Avoiding resentment (Preview) I had a tense moment with a friend tonight. She is having another party next weekend. As we were talking tonight, I asked what I could bring. She rattled off what she and another person are bringing, so I offered a salad. She said that would be "perfect" and then proceeded to tell me the gue...	glad lee	7	512	Mar 3, 2009 by Winddancer30
	What an UNBELIVABLE day~a parent's worst nightmare (Preview) AS most of you know that read my post yesterday, my son's 12th birthday, I started out not focused and trying to get there. After posting here I felt better, after praying on things I felt better, blessed and grateful. We were ready to start a beautiful birthday celebrating day. Got to the skating rin...	shellyj123	10	500	Mar 3, 2009 by Christy
	Cat and dog anaology.... (Preview) (((Family))), I hope you have all had a good weekend. To those of you that are in the path of the northeast snowstorm, stay safe. Please feel free to send some of it my way. I'm just slightly too far west of it to get any - maybe a flurry or two. You all know how much I love the snow. Anyway, my niece and I wer...	Karilynn	7	532	Mar 3, 2009 by Christy
	getting back to focusing on me. (Preview) I cannot do anything about my mom, my husband or anyone unless I first focus on me. I tend to get into their business too much. I am so grateful for their prescence in my life. Today I am sitting in the library trying to get my head together & do what is in front of me. This perticular day is a Monday &...	Hoot Nanny	3	498	Mar 2, 2009 by Jerry F
	What a ROller Coaster of a weekend!!!! (Preview) Well... It has been an Up & Down kind of weekend...Never boring that is for sure...Friday I had read in my devotional books that I should conquer my fears...Well I couldn't think of any...lol... Well 100% of the time since I started F2F meeting it has been my Sister in law... (Which I love that we sha...	Jozie	1	568	Mar 2, 2009 by maresie
	This is the place to bring the messes...(as I perceive them to be) (Preview) I am hating my job and I cannot seem to stop. I need to stop hating my job. I need to keep my job even though everything (sick) in me is screaming for me to quit. I just took a week off to deal with my storage unit leftover from my marriage which was a pretty horrible week, generally. Big bad reminders of tha...	Jean4444	8	506	Mar 2, 2009 by gngcrzy
	Struggling to stay in the now~In need of some ESH (Preview) Well today is my son's birthday and I was bound and determined last night that I would not project and worry my way through it....but here I am so I must need some ESH. I'm having quit the time staying focused.....but am diggin in with both feet and trying. To update a bit, my EXABF sent me an email and aske...	shellyj123	8	505	Mar 2, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	you are my substitute (Preview) It was chaos at my house tonight. Don't even know what happened. My 4 yr old ended up hysterical because he didn't feel like he was being treated fairly in a video game with my daughter and the neighbors boys, my 15 yr old tried to fix it and became angry when he couldn't, and my daughter stirred the pot. As f...	Loupiness	6	453	Mar 2, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Remaining neutral and keeping strong for me (Preview) Yesterday was a bit rough to say the least. I turned my phone off for the last week, when I turned it on Thursday, there were 4 VM and 2 texts from my A. All very sweet, each VM a bit more urgent. So I called him back yesterday morning. He was overly sweet, excited to talk to me, couldnt really chat because...	Cyn	7	404	Mar 2, 2009 by shellyj123
	Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison (Preview) Last night I went to see Johnny Cash at Folsom prison which is an independent movie. As some of you may know Johnny and June Carter Cash gave a concert at Folsom prison. During that time Johnny met an accomplished musician, Glen Shirley and eventually championed him and when he was released from priso...	maresie	4	570	Mar 2, 2009 by Jean4444
	The Mens Rules which can also be some of Alanon's Tools (Preview) The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear " the rules " From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered &...	Maria123	11	651	Mar 2, 2009 by barisax
	Breast Cancer - Helping Others (Preview) ((((Family)))), Recovery is all about taking care of ourselves. It's getting emotionally and physically healthy. It's about living strong. Every October I remind you to get those mamograms. A friend of mine who works for a nonprofit group sent me an email. She has thoroughly checked this site...	Karilynn	2	343	Mar 1, 2009 by belle1
	food addiction food addiction overeating (Preview) Hi all, I'm new to the board. I hope to get some help here, since I don't know where else to turn. my boyfriend of 3 years is a food addict. When I first started dating him, I had known him for years; he had ballooned in weight to what he said was 450lbs, and he had blamed his past really awful marriage for his o...	beachmum	3	1262	Mar 1, 2009 by Goodgran
	Spirit/mind (Preview) I am very confused my inner voice/gods will comes to me when I meditate and through other alanoners, literature etc. All this guidance tells me I need to love me, that its not my responsibility to control, rescue others. That I am powerless over the A and I need to make healthy choices for myself.. I k...	Tracy	3	425	Feb 28, 2009 by serendipity
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.