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OK....Well for those of you that have followed my drama... I have an Abrother, that I currantly HANDED a trailor that belonged to my AFather that past... Well Dad past in Nov. and I have been in charge of getting all his affairs in order... LUCKY ME!!! to make the long of it short, I paid the first (2) months worth of bills to give my brother time to get his affairs in order so that he could then take over, he was to take over ALL Bills in FEB. Which Normally really are not that bad... His has Lot rent, water (Every 3 months) and electric..That is it.. No Other bills to be responsible for... Christmas Eve, he calls to tell me the pipes froze, and he had to shut the water off! Till he can fix the pipes... WELL Yesterday I got the Electric bill, told his girlfriend I would stop and drop it off at the trailer and to let him know it was there... Well first I walk in and LAST MONTHS ELECTRIC BILL is still sitting on the table...UNPAID... And today I go to pick up Dad's mail and get the (3) month water bill and it is $600. , now I am only to have to deal with this crap till June and then I can wash my hands of it, HOWEVER... If he desides he can't pay this crap...OR JUST DON"T...I HAVE Too... Not only that but if he waits then I also have to come up with $1200. to MOVE The trailor... I am so aggravated right now I could scream... I have to go after work and talk to him, and I am affraid that ANY & ALL things that I have learned from Al-anon are about to go out the window when he and I go face to face...I am affaid of what i may do when I see him, but I know I Have to Do this TODAY!!!! I need to find a calm and right now I am about as far from calm as I can get... I have been pray'n but I think my mind is too pissed to even communicate with my prayers.... I have been reading and I can't focus...
I NEED ESH.... ANY & ALL that you can spare... I am slowly loosing what I worked so hard to build in my life, but honestly, I can't afford all this crap... I JUST CAN'T!!!!!!
((((Jozie)))) I would like to say I am surprised but I'm not, and deep down you aren't either. It is not John that let you down, it is his disease and your expectations of him. Going over there and yelling and going "all hillbilly" on him will NOT fix the problem and will only take away from YOU and your SERENITY........and really now.........is he worth that??? NOT! Besides that if you go over there you are just going back into your old role of caretaker, etc. and that has NEVER worked before. If he had money do you think he would pay the bills????? Has he done that before with his money????NO!! Alcohol comes first and foremost and will until he wants a new way of living... I'm sure if worse comes to worse you can set up some form of repayment with the water company, and other utilities.......and you are ALMOST rid of it all. You did your part, you gave him a home, he is loosing it......YOU ARE DONE. Time to let go and let God girlfriend...........remember when things get like this to stop and look back at where you were.........and look how far you've come, and you have just begun........then ask yourself..........Is it worth your serenity????
Keep it simple Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
You have a few choices. Remembering that no one can MAKE you lose control. It's all on you dear.
The way I see it there are 2 choices, I'd even let him choose...
*If he says he will pay and is responsible for the bills beginning from (insert date), get it in writing and signed by him (his GF too if you can get her to). He will be well aware you aren't playing. In fact you may want to prewrite an agreement and print it off. You may need it in small claims court to get back the money you will have to pay.
*If he says he can't pay it, then tell him to leave the premises, he's done. You will be out the money, but at least it won't be MORE money then if he stays and runs up more bills.
I know you said you are responsible until June...Is that because the trailor is in a trailor court and there was a rental contract? In most cases death nullifies a contract. What happens in June?
-- Edited by Christy at 13:16, 2009-03-04
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I agree with Christy. Have settled in your mind what you want to say. and stick to it. Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean. And why do you ahve to pay until June? Shelly had some good points also. But you have to be willing to let go and let God. He may end up under a bridge, but you never know what the bottom for himwill be, maybe he needs to be out of a home before he sees the light.
Keep coming back, and maybe go to a meeting if possible.
Love Julie
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Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option.
Just a attitude adjustment lesson from recovery? There is no such thing as "have to!!" when I learn I can do something different at any time. "Courage to change the things that I can...." It's courage time.
And today I go to pick up Dad's mail and get the (3) month water bill and it is $600. 
, now I am only to have to deal with this crap till June and then I can wash my hands of it, HOWEVER... If he desides he can't pay this crap...OR JUST DON"T...I HAVE Too... Not only that but if he waits then I also have to come up with $1200. to MOVE The trailor... I am so aggravated right now I could scream... I have to go after work and talk to him, and I am affraid that ANY & ALL things that I have learned from Al-anon are about to go out the window when he and I go face to face...I am affaid of what i may do when I see him, but I know I Have to Do this TODAY!!!! I need to find a calm and right now I am about as far from calm as I can get... I have been pray'n but I think my mind is too pissed to even communicate with my prayers.... I have been reading and I can't focus... 
