Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

I'm piggy backing off my last post Boundaries and Expectations. I'm up the creek again. I seen the recovering A this morning coincidentally. He avoided calling and texting yesterday. This morning when I confronted him, he told me that he is starting to care too much and has to slow things down. WTF?? I...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

And thanks to Al Anon I'm learning to live with this. I can only control MY actions and decisions. I'm new here and just wanted to share this thought. My AH is in rehab (first time) and just called me last night saying he's going to be coming home soon(can be there up to 90 days - it's only been 17 days since...

spirited1 · spirited1

For those of you who are reading this......I decided to change my screen name, and have a bit more anonimity(?)....this is shellyj123, and today is the first day of Spring:). I'm starting over with a fresh start, and thought a new name would be nice. Spent yesterday rereading all of my old posts and wa...

clara · clara

AD was supposed to come to my house yesterday until her apartment was ready. Well, as it turns out, there still is no apartment. She may go stay with her sister in law instead, but that will not be available until about 10 days. Daughter did not show up; claims a migraine headache. So, anyway, here we...

Christy · Christy

I don't recall where I found this but it was saved in my computer. It seemed appropriate for the first day of spring and members of Alanon. We've been tending our Sacred Garden. It is now giving rise to Dream seeds -- ones planted with Faith Wisdom, watered with our tears of Joy and Gratitude, and tender...

ollie · ollie

hi wonderful family. i have a question ,hoping you can help me with. a is coming out of hospital tomorrow ,after being in 4 days of detoxation. he does seem alot more focused ,and has agreed to go to AA. has anyone had a sucess with this,its his first time,i have learned not to build any hopes up here,but wo...

ranbrew · ranbrew

I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you

wjwcalifgirl · wjwcalifgirl

I met with therapist and signed up to complete a co-dependence program put on through my health provider -kaiser- this can take up 2 2 months once a week but they give me 4 months to complete. She gave me a questionier to see if I am co-dependent. well out of 19 questions where you answer yes, no or somet...

lisdeanne · lisdeanne

I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there a...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, Have been reading your posts but not posting much. Have had a lot of hassle with teenage son who is testing his boundaries but that happens, right, he got to me the other night and I stormed off, planning to go to the pub, but I caught myself on, turned around and came home and had a great night watc...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family! I recently found myself asking the question, what's wrong with me? Many are aware that last year stood out for many reasons. The good (my progress in recovery), the bad (my AH progressive disease) and the ugly (near death of AH). Yet, I felt that with the grace of my HP, life still held...

Annie69 · Annie69

just need to get things off my chest im tryin not to be angry but that is the way it has been here for the last few days A is drinkin more and more everyday he is blamin me for everything when he gets to tha point of drunkness and im tryin to maintain and not get in an agurment with him i dont like the way i feel...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the replies from yesterday. Well I got up this morning and the phone ran and it was my son again... He has racoons at his place and was laughing about them and asking what I think he should do about them. THat was just fine--no problem.=, he was in a good mood.......THen he starts the drama.....(h...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Yesterday I felt so much stronger, busy trying to find a lodger, applying for a little part time admin job to supplement my now frightening low income (no help from my AH who said he had contributed enough recently!) I felt ok, met my friend for an early glass of wine, took my dog with me, I feel better when...

Jozie · Jozie

((((hugs to Ms. Shelly)))) & ((((Spirited1)))) :o) I Just wanted to wish you a Beautiful Day, of Happiness, and Hope that your Spring Date was/is everything you Did Not Expect It To Be :) ... Enjoy your day, enjoy your Steps, and enjoy your "Recovery"... One Day At A Time :) I will make...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), Okay here you go a program for us cat codependents. Thanks to our David for sharing it with me. It's too funny to keep to myself: 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR "CATS SYNDROME"1. We admitted we were powerless over CATS - that our lives had become unmanageable. C2. Came to believe that...

meagain · meagain

this always seems like a continuin problem with my youngest son who will be 34 in June. He is doing good...but times are now getting tough as you all know....and he always calls me to complain Re: his truck broke down, no $$$ (he has always made big $$$)-well its always something. Sometimes he calls and...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...

maresie · maresie

I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly

inhisarms · inhisarms

Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...

Sincerely · Sincerely

In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...

clara · clara

I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...

exhausted_imp · exhausted_imp

I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...

stillkickin · stillkickin

My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...

ranbrew · ranbrew

Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All.... As most of you know I had a minor melt down the other day when my son was missing his pap pap, My Afather, (deseased)... I have sence found my ground again, and thank you for all the shared your ESH with me and took the time to respond... It was most grateful... I did learn a few things from the exper...

maresie · maresie

During my last two years with the ex A he had two major health issues. At some points he embraced the idea of getting better wholeheartedly. Nevertheless when he was depressed he would schuttle everything and I'm sure taking drugs made him much worse. Needless to say he also didn't give up smoking or...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive posted this onGetting them sober site too, but thought someone might have more words of wisdom here too. My AH has flown off back to the west indies to his new life yesterday, a hard and tearful day for me. Then I find out last night, that he had been telling our mutual best friends and who knows who else...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Although I am not Irish, I do love my corned beef, potatoes and the sweaters. It has always been a dream of mine to go to Ireland. My favorite color happens to be green (along with pumpkin). Irish music is played he...

ZachsMom · ZachsMom

My son(age 21) is addicted to pills. I need any advice that I can get. I know I handle things all wrong. I have helped him out so many times and when I finally stopped financally he started stealing. Stealing cash, checks from the back of my personal and business accounts, stealing my ATm cards and get...

Jozie · Jozie

Well.... LAst night went from having all my power to being powerless over thee very next moment...I was sit'n here sharing and reading ESH from all my MIP family, while my son was get'n in the shower and get'n ready for bed. I was sitting in my chair ESH'n. and when my son gets out of the shower and sits on t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to s...

Christy · Christy

TEA!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!

Christy · Christy

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both...

lostcadc · lostcadc

I should know better than to let my A get to me. I am a drug and alcohol counselor in a residential facility. I have been married to an A for 5 years. He had 70 plus days of sobriety beginning Dec. 1 of 2008. On Valentines day it all started going sour. He is currently living an hour away. He phones so often som...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex A called me last night on my cell phone (I didn't give him the number and asked ex MIL not to either) and surprisingly I didn't recognize his voice and when he said my name I said yes this is her - awaiting him to tell me who it was. He sounded shocked and disappointed about that. Anyway, he asked when he...

exhausted_imp · exhausted_imp

I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to e...

maresie · maresie

One of my dogs is getting up there. She's showing lots of signs of age. Her walks are are lot shorter and she is definitely aging fast. Before al anon I would make this into a catastophe try to force her to get better. Now we take lots of nice short walkies with room for rest. Of course I have to avoid those...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

In the beginning of last month, I went to court with my children's father to modify our child custody order. My children's father suffers from alcoholism. I've never known anyone so dependent on alcohol in my life. I was hoping that the judge would order that his visists with the children be supervise...

Becky1 · Becky1

Today I have been thinking a lot about my life, and where I've been, and where I'm going. It's been a wild trip so far....I turn 55 tomorrow. Maybe that's why I'm thinking.... After 4 failed marriages, I married the one man I thought I would love forever. An A. Who turned out to be an abusive, violent A...

Christy · Christy

This is such a sad story and unfortunately all too familiar. I saw it in the Anchorage newspaper. This was a once vibrant woman caught up in a codependent /abuse situation. It's a well written story of her decline. For anyone that is in this situation, please read it. Killer stole victim's spark, t...

belle1 · belle1

woo hoo thanks all great to be back on java belle1 hugs

Christy · Christy

One of our long time members, stillkickin, lost his Mom last night, suddenly and unexpectedly. Prayers and lots of uplifting thoughts and love are needed at this time for this young man and his family. ((((love you buzz)))) Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After a rather topsy turvy week last week I feel much more grounded today. Last week I was letting the upcoming date with EXABF work on and test every part of my program. Thanks to my program, my HP, my MIP family and my sponsor I do believe I passed:) Two of my worst character traits are obsessing a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been over a week since I got on this site. Missed getting on--even though I didn't have a whole lot to share. Thanks for all who shared on the topic of staying on topic. I am glad that I am always accepted even if I do ramble and seem to get off topic often. I hope you all benefitted from the share I did...

deserve_more · deserve_more

My DH is an alcoholic. We have had significant problems for almost 10 years. No physical abuse, but extremely draining. He has been in therapy on and off, and lately because I demand it. We have been married for almost 20 years. I am 46. He is 58. I am ready to leave the marriage. He lies about how much he dri...

TLM · TLM

So my A hubby checked himself into rehab. I gave up "suggesting" that perhaps he should go a couple of years ago. This last time he was away taking care of his father after a surgery. I could hear him spiraling down and could only watch, which in retrospect is such a blessing. The funny thi...

rio · rio

After almost 20 years and a 16 year year marriage to my recovering alcoholic husband I have finally reached a point where I can't do it anymore. I left him at the end of July. He has been sober over five years now and I remember how happy I was when he finally reached that low point that he had to hit befor...

Sincerely · Sincerely

i woke up this morning after sleeping in the guest room. i was frustrated after having been woke up so many times in the night by him. as normal, the coffee was made and he was not home on a friday morning. he was at his aa meeting. i called him to let him know i was awake and that the coffee was good. he ans...

LoveCC · LoveCC

Hi everyone I just joined recently but this is the first time I am posting. I just have been reading everyones post/comments. I thought it would be my turn to tell my story. I just turned 33 and the love of my life is my AB. I met him about 2 1/2 years ago. He was sober. But half of our relationship has been a HUG...

Jozie · Jozie

Well RIP family... Sorry I haven't been on all weekend, but I couldn't get my computer to do so, so here I am.. :) I went to my usual F2f fri, with my SIL..I don't know it had to be just what I needed, when we left, we laughed the hole way home.. I mean till tears started to run in my face... It was just a wonderful...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Back on the Roller Coaster (Preview) I'm piggy backing off my last post Boundaries and Expectations. I'm up the creek again. I seen the recovering A this morning coincidentally. He avoided calling and texting yesterday. This morning when I confronted him, he told me that he is starting to care too much and has to slow things down. WTF?? I...	Saved By Grace	9	663	Mar 21, 2009 by Saved By Grace
	I have no control (Preview) And thanks to Al Anon I'm learning to live with this. I can only control MY actions and decisions. I'm new here and just wanted to share this thought. My AH is in rehab (first time) and just called me last night saying he's going to be coming home soon(can be there up to 90 days - it's only been 17 days since...	Goodtillitsbad	7	601	Mar 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	Starting over~fearless (Preview) For those of you who are reading this......I decided to change my screen name, and have a bit more anonimity(?)....this is shellyj123, and today is the first day of Spring:). I'm starting over with a fresh start, and thought a new name would be nice. Spent yesterday rereading all of my old posts and wa...	spirited1	2	678	Mar 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	Another scarey uncertain day (Preview) AD was supposed to come to my house yesterday until her apartment was ready. Well, as it turns out, there still is no apartment. She may go stay with her sister in law instead, but that will not be available until about 10 days. Daughter did not show up; claims a migraine headache. So, anyway, here we...	clara	5	1001	Mar 21, 2009 by Karilynn
	Seedlings of possibility (Preview) I don't recall where I found this but it was saved in my computer. It seemed appropriate for the first day of spring and members of Alanon. We've been tending our Sacred Garden. It is now giving rise to Dream seeds -- ones planted with Faith Wisdom, watered with our tears of Joy and Gratitude, and tender...	Christy	1	468	Mar 21, 2009 by Karilynn
	need a little info (Preview) hi wonderful family. i have a question ,hoping you can help me with. a is coming out of hospital tomorrow ,after being in 4 days of detoxation. he does seem alot more focused ,and has agreed to go to AA. has anyone had a sucess with this,its his first time,i have learned not to build any hopes up here,but wo...	ollie	1	651	Mar 20, 2009 by Jozie
	Help to go to mtgs (Preview) I am very old, and very computer illiterate, I am having trouble getting to the Cht/Mtg room can any one help Thank you	ranbrew	3	527	Mar 20, 2009 by ranbrew
	signed up for co-dependency program (Preview) I met with therapist and signed up to complete a co-dependence program put on through my health provider -kaiser- this can take up 2 2 months once a week but they give me 4 months to complete. She gave me a questionier to see if I am co-dependent. well out of 19 questions where you answer yes, no or somet...	wjwcalifgirl	4	650	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Why cant people enjoy life and eachother without being intoxicated? (Preview) I have been married 19 years in July and my husbands awakening moment happened 12-31-04 when he got pulled over for a DWI. He quit drinking and did very well for several years. We bought a new home in May 2008 and our neighbors are alcoholics and drink all the time. My husband started going over there a...	lisdeanne	5	578	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	update on all (Preview) Dear All, Have been reading your posts but not posting much. Have had a lot of hassle with teenage son who is testing his boundaries but that happens, right, he got to me the other night and I stormed off, planning to go to the pub, but I caught myself on, turned around and came home and had a great night watc...	maire rua	2	529	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	What's wrong with me? Negative self-talk! (Preview) Hi MIP family! I recently found myself asking the question, what's wrong with me? Many are aware that last year stood out for many reasons. The good (my progress in recovery), the bad (my AH progressive disease) and the ugly (near death of AH). Yet, I felt that with the grace of my HP, life still held...	Rocky38	9	747	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	tryin (Preview) just need to get things off my chest im tryin not to be angry but that is the way it has been here for the last few days A is drinkin more and more everyday he is blamin me for everything when he gets to tha point of drunkness and im tryin to maintain and not get in an agurment with him i dont like the way i feel...	Annie69	5	942	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Its just :Meagain" (Preview) Tks for the replies from yesterday. Well I got up this morning and the phone ran and it was my son again... He has racoons at his place and was laughing about them and asking what I think he should do about them. THat was just fine--no problem.=, he was in a good mood.......THen he starts the drama.....(h...	meagain	4	534	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	Good day, bad day... (Preview) Yesterday I felt so much stronger, busy trying to find a lodger, applying for a little part time admin job to supplement my now frightening low income (no help from my AH who said he had contributed enough recently!) I felt ok, met my friend for an early glass of wine, took my dog with me, I feel better when...	Lilly Burn	3	800	Mar 20, 2009 by maresie
	For Ms. Shelly123... :) & Spirited1 (Preview) ((((hugs to Ms. Shelly)))) & ((((Spirited1)))) :o) I Just wanted to wish you a Beautiful Day, of Happiness, and Hope that your Spring Date was/is everything you Did Not Expect It To Be :) ... Enjoy your day, enjoy your Steps, and enjoy your "Recovery"... One Day At A Time :) I will make...	Jozie	0	467	Mar 20, 2009 by Jozie
	12 step program for cats (Preview) (((Family))), Okay here you go a program for us cat codependents. Thanks to our David for sharing it with me. It's too funny to keep to myself: 12 STEP PROGRAM FOR "CATS SYNDROME"1. We admitted we were powerless over CATS - that our lives had become unmanageable. C2. Came to believe that...	Karilynn	2	5031	Mar 20, 2009 by david62
	continuing problem it seems (Preview) this always seems like a continuin problem with my youngest son who will be 34 in June. He is doing good...but times are now getting tough as you all know....and he always calls me to complain Re: his truck broke down, no $$$ (he has always made big $$$)-well its always something. Sometimes he calls and...	meagain	5	526	Mar 20, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Need to clarify a post made last week~ (Preview) I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...	shellyj123	1	531	Mar 20, 2009 by maire rua
	Registered for the Retreat! yeah!! (Preview) Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...	Sincerely	3	868	Mar 20, 2009 by kitty
	Once again requesting prayers... (Preview) Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...	wildthang86	5	785	Mar 19, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Ashamed to admit (Preview) I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...	Peggy7	9	1170	Mar 19, 2009 by o2bnormal
	Its all about the focus! (Preview) I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...	maresie	4	690	Mar 19, 2009 by Jennifer
	Rock Bottom???? (Preview) I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...	mairmair09	12	1692	Mar 19, 2009 by Inpain
	How do you edit a post once it is posted to the boards? (Preview) needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly	shellyj123	2	569	Mar 19, 2009 by Christy
	Early sobriety (Preview) Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...	inhisarms	3	757	Mar 19, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	About being "kicked out" (Preview) When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...	Tiger2006	4	1016	Mar 19, 2009 by clara
	A decision long overdue (Preview) In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...	Sincerely	4	726	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	New to this board and need help desperately (Preview) I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...	clara	8	645	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	I can't do this for another 3 days~ Need some ESH from my MIP family~HELP! (Preview) I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...	shellyj123	7	802	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Release: I know exactly why I got into that relationship (Preview) I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...	exhausted_imp	8	661	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Serenity Prayer for Pets (Preview) ((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...	Karilynn	5	976	Mar 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	Boundaries & Expectations (Preview) Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...	Saved By Grace	14	923	Mar 18, 2009 by hotrod
	Stuck in this moment (Preview) My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...	stillkickin	17	3889	Mar 18, 2009 by kismetstrand
	Please help (Preview) Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.	ranbrew	7	629	Mar 18, 2009 by ranbrew
	Pickin up the pieces.... (Preview) Hi All.... As most of you know I had a minor melt down the other day when my son was missing his pap pap, My Afather, (deseased)... I have sence found my ground again, and thank you for all the shared your ESH with me and took the time to respond... It was most grateful... I did learn a few things from the exper...	Jozie	3	585	Mar 18, 2009 by hotrod
	health issues (Preview) During my last two years with the ex A he had two major health issues. At some points he embraced the idea of getting better wholeheartedly. Nevertheless when he was depressed he would schuttle everything and I'm sure taking drugs made him much worse. Needless to say he also didn't give up smoking or...	maresie	5	645	Mar 18, 2009 by Jozie
	Seems everyone knew but me!! (Preview) Ive posted this onGetting them sober site too, but thought someone might have more words of wisdom here too. My AH has flown off back to the west indies to his new life yesterday, a hard and tearful day for me. Then I find out last night, that he had been telling our mutual best friends and who knows who else...	Lilly Burn	8	684	Mar 18, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! (Preview) ((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Although I am not Irish, I do love my corned beef, potatoes and the sweaters. It has always been a dream of mine to go to Ireland. My favorite color happens to be green (along with pumpkin). Irish music is played he...	Karilynn	4	611	Mar 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	New here-need help with my pill addict (Preview) My son(age 21) is addicted to pills. I need any advice that I can get. I know I handle things all wrong. I have helped him out so many times and when I finally stopped financally he started stealing. Stealing cash, checks from the back of my personal and business accounts, stealing my ATm cards and get...	ZachsMom	7	605	Mar 17, 2009 by ZachsMom
	Once agian my wind is gone :( (Preview) Well.... LAst night went from having all my power to being powerless over thee very next moment...I was sit'n here sharing and reading ESH from all my MIP family, while my son was get'n in the shower and get'n ready for bed. I was sitting in my chair ESH'n. and when my son gets out of the shower and sits on t...	Jozie	3	600	Mar 17, 2009 by Christy
	A smile to start the morning.... (Preview) A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to s...	shellyj123	1	444	Mar 17, 2009 by Christy
	Happy Birthday to (drumroll) (Preview) TEA!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!	Christy	11	688	Mar 17, 2009 by CJ
	Stressed? Try this (Preview) Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both...	Christy	5	547	Mar 17, 2009 by Mobirdie
	I should know better (Preview) I should know better than to let my A get to me. I am a drug and alcohol counselor in a residential facility. I have been married to an A for 5 years. He had 70 plus days of sobriety beginning Dec. 1 of 2008. On Valentines day it all started going sour. He is currently living an hour away. He phones so often som...	lostcadc	10	995	Mar 17, 2009 by kitty
	So he called me last night... (Preview) My ex A called me last night on my cell phone (I didn't give him the number and asked ex MIL not to either) and surprisingly I didn't recognize his voice and when he said my name I said yes this is her - awaiting him to tell me who it was. He sounded shocked and disappointed about that. Anyway, he asked when he...	carolinagirl	4	633	Mar 17, 2009 by Tiger2006
	Sometimes we need a catalyst to come to a decision (Preview) I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to e...	exhausted_imp	6	563	Mar 17, 2009 by exhausted_imp
	avoiding catastrophe (Preview) One of my dogs is getting up there. She's showing lots of signs of age. Her walks are are lot shorter and she is definitely aging fast. Before al anon I would make this into a catastophe try to force her to get better. Now we take lots of nice short walkies with room for rest. Of course I have to avoid those...	maresie	7	648	Mar 17, 2009 by maresie
	Child custody issues.... (Preview) In the beginning of last month, I went to court with my children's father to modify our child custody order. My children's father suffers from alcoholism. I've never known anyone so dependent on alcohol in my life. I was hoping that the judge would order that his visists with the children be supervise...	mairmair09	7	606	Mar 17, 2009 by carolinagirl
	A Year of Looking Back....and forward! (Preview) Today I have been thinking a lot about my life, and where I've been, and where I'm going. It's been a wild trip so far....I turn 55 tomorrow. Maybe that's why I'm thinking.... After 4 failed marriages, I married the one man I thought I would love forever. An A. Who turned out to be an abusive, violent A...	Becky1	6	650	Mar 17, 2009 by kitty
	A story of alcoholism and abuse (Preview) This is such a sad story and unfortunately all too familiar. I saw it in the Anchorage newspaper. This was a once vibrant woman caught up in a codependent /abuse situation. It's a well written story of her decline. For anyone that is in this situation, please read it. Killer stole victim's spark, t...	Christy	5	602	Mar 17, 2009 by Karilynn
	chatroom back up and running!! (Preview) woo hoo thanks all great to be back on java belle1 hugs	belle1	2	424	Mar 16, 2009 by getoverit
	Prayers and Love please.. (Preview) One of our long time members, stillkickin, lost his Mom last night, suddenly and unexpectedly. Prayers and lots of uplifting thoughts and love are needed at this time for this young man and his family. ((((love you buzz)))) Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousa...	Christy	16	638	Mar 16, 2009 by o2bnormal
	Working past obsession, projection, and expectations~ (Preview) After a rather topsy turvy week last week I feel much more grounded today. Last week I was letting the upcoming date with EXABF work on and test every part of my program. Thanks to my program, my HP, my MIP family and my sponsor I do believe I passed:) Two of my worst character traits are obsessing a...	shellyj123	3	489	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Thanks for sharing! (Preview) It has been over a week since I got on this site. Missed getting on--even though I didn't have a whole lot to share. Thanks for all who shared on the topic of staying on topic. I am glad that I am always accepted even if I do ramble and seem to get off topic often. I hope you all benefitted from the share I did...	Hoot Nanny	1	467	Mar 16, 2009 by java
	I deserve more (Preview) My DH is an alcoholic. We have had significant problems for almost 10 years. No physical abuse, but extremely draining. He has been in therapy on and off, and lately because I demand it. We have been married for almost 20 years. I am 46. He is 58. I am ready to leave the marriage. He lies about how much he dri...	deserve_more	11	664	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	MY work while hubby is in rehab (Preview) So my A hubby checked himself into rehab. I gave up "suggesting" that perhaps he should go a couple of years ago. This last time he was away taking care of his father after a surgery. I could hear him spiraling down and could only watch, which in retrospect is such a blessing. The funny thi...	TLM	7	696	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Letting go...finally (Preview) After almost 20 years and a 16 year year marriage to my recovering alcoholic husband I have finally reached a point where I can't do it anymore. I left him at the end of July. He has been sober over five years now and I remember how happy I was when he finally reached that low point that he had to hit befor...	rio	9	646	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	i'm sorry and i'm selfish....those words are in his vocabluary!!!! (Preview) i woke up this morning after sleeping in the guest room. i was frustrated after having been woke up so many times in the night by him. as normal, the coffee was made and he was not home on a friday morning. he was at his aa meeting. i called him to let him know i was awake and that the coffee was good. *he ans...*	Sincerely	6	606	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Newbie wants to share too... (Preview) Hi everyone I just joined recently but this is the first time I am posting. I just have been reading everyones post/comments. I thought it would be my turn to tell my story. I just turned 33 and the love of my life is my AB. I met him about 2 1/2 years ago. He was sober. But half of our relationship has been a HUG...	LoveCC	5	516	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Ups & Downs (Preview) Well RIP family... Sorry I haven't been on all weekend, but I couldn't get my computer to do so, so here I am.. :) I went to my usual F2f fri, with my SIL..I don't know it had to be just what I needed, when we left, we laughed the hole way home.. I mean till tears started to run in my face... It was just a wonderful...	Jozie	2	513	Mar 16, 2009 by shellyj123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.