Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...

maresie · maresie

I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly

inhisarms · inhisarms

Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...

Sincerely · Sincerely

In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...

clara · clara

I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...

exhausted_imp · exhausted_imp

I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...

Saved By Grace · Saved By Grace

Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...

stillkickin · stillkickin

My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...

ranbrew · ranbrew

Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All.... As most of you know I had a minor melt down the other day when my son was missing his pap pap, My Afather, (deseased)... I have sence found my ground again, and thank you for all the shared your ESH with me and took the time to respond... It was most grateful... I did learn a few things from the exper...

maresie · maresie

During my last two years with the ex A he had two major health issues. At some points he embraced the idea of getting better wholeheartedly. Nevertheless when he was depressed he would schuttle everything and I'm sure taking drugs made him much worse. Needless to say he also didn't give up smoking or...

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive posted this onGetting them sober site too, but thought someone might have more words of wisdom here too. My AH has flown off back to the west indies to his new life yesterday, a hard and tearful day for me. Then I find out last night, that he had been telling our mutual best friends and who knows who else...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Although I am not Irish, I do love my corned beef, potatoes and the sweaters. It has always been a dream of mine to go to Ireland. My favorite color happens to be green (along with pumpkin). Irish music is played he...

ZachsMom · ZachsMom

My son(age 21) is addicted to pills. I need any advice that I can get. I know I handle things all wrong. I have helped him out so many times and when I finally stopped financally he started stealing. Stealing cash, checks from the back of my personal and business accounts, stealing my ATm cards and get...

Jozie · Jozie

Well.... LAst night went from having all my power to being powerless over thee very next moment...I was sit'n here sharing and reading ESH from all my MIP family, while my son was get'n in the shower and get'n ready for bed. I was sitting in my chair ESH'n. and when my son gets out of the shower and sits on t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to s...

Christy · Christy

TEA!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!

Christy · Christy

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both...

lostcadc · lostcadc

I should know better than to let my A get to me. I am a drug and alcohol counselor in a residential facility. I have been married to an A for 5 years. He had 70 plus days of sobriety beginning Dec. 1 of 2008. On Valentines day it all started going sour. He is currently living an hour away. He phones so often som...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex A called me last night on my cell phone (I didn't give him the number and asked ex MIL not to either) and surprisingly I didn't recognize his voice and when he said my name I said yes this is her - awaiting him to tell me who it was. He sounded shocked and disappointed about that. Anyway, he asked when he...

exhausted_imp · exhausted_imp

I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to e...

maresie · maresie

One of my dogs is getting up there. She's showing lots of signs of age. Her walks are are lot shorter and she is definitely aging fast. Before al anon I would make this into a catastophe try to force her to get better. Now we take lots of nice short walkies with room for rest. Of course I have to avoid those...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

In the beginning of last month, I went to court with my children's father to modify our child custody order. My children's father suffers from alcoholism. I've never known anyone so dependent on alcohol in my life. I was hoping that the judge would order that his visists with the children be supervise...

Becky1 · Becky1

Today I have been thinking a lot about my life, and where I've been, and where I'm going. It's been a wild trip so far....I turn 55 tomorrow. Maybe that's why I'm thinking.... After 4 failed marriages, I married the one man I thought I would love forever. An A. Who turned out to be an abusive, violent A...

Christy · Christy

This is such a sad story and unfortunately all too familiar. I saw it in the Anchorage newspaper. This was a once vibrant woman caught up in a codependent /abuse situation. It's a well written story of her decline. For anyone that is in this situation, please read it. Killer stole victim's spark, t...

belle1 · belle1

woo hoo thanks all great to be back on java belle1 hugs

Christy · Christy

One of our long time members, stillkickin, lost his Mom last night, suddenly and unexpectedly. Prayers and lots of uplifting thoughts and love are needed at this time for this young man and his family. ((((love you buzz)))) Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

After a rather topsy turvy week last week I feel much more grounded today. Last week I was letting the upcoming date with EXABF work on and test every part of my program. Thanks to my program, my HP, my MIP family and my sponsor I do believe I passed:) Two of my worst character traits are obsessing a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been over a week since I got on this site. Missed getting on--even though I didn't have a whole lot to share. Thanks for all who shared on the topic of staying on topic. I am glad that I am always accepted even if I do ramble and seem to get off topic often. I hope you all benefitted from the share I did...

deserve_more · deserve_more

My DH is an alcoholic. We have had significant problems for almost 10 years. No physical abuse, but extremely draining. He has been in therapy on and off, and lately because I demand it. We have been married for almost 20 years. I am 46. He is 58. I am ready to leave the marriage. He lies about how much he dri...

TLM · TLM

So my A hubby checked himself into rehab. I gave up "suggesting" that perhaps he should go a couple of years ago. This last time he was away taking care of his father after a surgery. I could hear him spiraling down and could only watch, which in retrospect is such a blessing. The funny thi...

rio · rio

After almost 20 years and a 16 year year marriage to my recovering alcoholic husband I have finally reached a point where I can't do it anymore. I left him at the end of July. He has been sober over five years now and I remember how happy I was when he finally reached that low point that he had to hit befor...

Sincerely · Sincerely

i woke up this morning after sleeping in the guest room. i was frustrated after having been woke up so many times in the night by him. as normal, the coffee was made and he was not home on a friday morning. he was at his aa meeting. i called him to let him know i was awake and that the coffee was good. he ans...

LoveCC · LoveCC

Hi everyone I just joined recently but this is the first time I am posting. I just have been reading everyones post/comments. I thought it would be my turn to tell my story. I just turned 33 and the love of my life is my AB. I met him about 2 1/2 years ago. He was sober. But half of our relationship has been a HUG...

Jozie · Jozie

Well RIP family... Sorry I haven't been on all weekend, but I couldn't get my computer to do so, so here I am.. :) I went to my usual F2f fri, with my SIL..I don't know it had to be just what I needed, when we left, we laughed the hole way home.. I mean till tears started to run in my face... It was just a wonderful...

BrianS · BrianS

Hello everyone, I am looking for some type of homework to help me work thru the 12 steps, is there such a thing? I know that AA has such an item, but I can not find anything for Al-Anon. With the AA home work you can print out suggested readings to read and then you are asked a series of question from your rea...

buick23 · buick23

I really need some esh on this. My bf, almost a year sober, has been staying away on weekends for many months now, not overnight, but during the day, comes home after work during the week. He's also been grumpy lately and keeps critizining me over everything in the last few weeks. We had a sort of argument...

Sincerely · Sincerely

OKAY, MIP! With the meeting room being down this weekend, I was forced to go to a face to face meeting today. I honestly don't think it was a coincedence that the rooms were out of order. I think it was because my HP knew how much I needed to get myself to a face to face meeting. It will not be my last. Than...

mairmair09 · mairmair09

Where to begin???? My father is an alcoholic. I grew up seeing him get drunk and physically abuse my codependent mother (at the time), and also abuse my little sister. They are no longer married. It's been about 15 years since he's been pretty much out of our lives. My mother is remarried to someone so wo...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

My MIL had a stroke on Friday. She seems to be doing well now but it was touch and go for a few days. I have never been so terrified in my life. She is truly my best friend. How weird is that? My mother-in-law is my best friend!!!!! It happened over a period of days. She had horrendous headaches and had gone to 2...

chezza · chezza

Hello everyone At an al-anon meeting the topic was step 10 "continued to make personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it" A member spoke about jumping onto this step in the beginning which I feel am doing myself a lot. Does anyone out there feel that they did or do this? A rec...

Tracy · Tracy

going to my first weekened conference at the end of the month it is called new beginnings. I am really looking forward to it I am going with 6 members from my group some who have been in alanon for over 20 years. My sponsor said there will be al anon and aa meetings and it is up to me what meing I choose to atten...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Just need to off load this. My job involves shifts and a rota. I requested specific days off for when I have a visitor coming in 4 weeks time. Nothing unreasonable and requested in good time. I've just had to really stand my ground to get my request, I didnt get the 3 days off I wanted, just...

Jozie · Jozie

No big drama, I just recently 'Since Finding myself' Realized that I LOVE TO READ fiction books... My question... I know that there are TONS of AL-anon books, but is there any books that anyone knows that are fiction books that tell the story of an Afamily, or an alcoholic that recovered or an Adult Ch...

Tracy · Tracy

last night I did something really foolish I went to a family party and got really drunk. really really drunk. I went to the my AB's house and he walked me home. I can remember crying getting aggressive apologising all kinds of carzy stuff. It was like all my pain was coming out I have been trying to und...

rorussell9 · rorussell9

After hearing Shells story I started having serious flash backs to a time my ex-husband took the only car we had and left me and five children( 4 under the age of 5) stranded. God provided one of the most remarkable miracles and over the course of a day friends and family donated 9,000 dollars to buy a new c...

brightmommy · brightmommy

For today, I have realized that since coming to Alanon I have improved my emotional state...I am no longer trapped in my mind of past events...able to live in Today...Break free from Yesterday and not step into Tomorrow...I can feel the sadness being lifted from my eyes and a new way of life approachin...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

Someone said this in a meeting last week, and it's been so helpful to me... Well, I should have written it down because I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but... Al-anon allows me to love the addicts in my life. Even if I have to block them from my life for awhile. Even if the rest of the world is saying "Ho...

ange777 · ange777

Hi all newbie here. I am so glad I found this site, the daily stress I go to is sometimes unbearable. My story starts out as a child, i had a lying, very manipulative mother who never showed love, and an alcohlic father. I grew up not knowing who I was and where I was going. I tried so hard to please my parents a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I've heard it said that we never forget the "first time", and I would imagine that for most that probably rings true, but as I write this I wonder how many of us remember the "last time". My son and I have gotten in the habit lately, due to my ever increasing love of the world around m...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

So here it is February again already! And with that, time to revisit Step 2 and contemplate how, if I keep searching, I can continue growing...always new things to learn and discover! This past year I have spent getting to know my HP once again. Still in process of that, and probably will be so the rest of...

Maria123 · Maria123

I am a Great-Auntie!!!!!! I am so excited. One of my very favorite nieces had a baby girl and her namesake is for my mother who died when I was only 26 years old with my own young babies. I know you all just won't believe that a 29 year-old could possibly be a Great Auntie, but tis true. Maria And here she is...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need to clarify a post made last week~ (Preview) I want to go back and make a clarification on a post I made last week entitled Boundaries and Expectations. I wrote in there that EXABF wrote and told me many times that he wanted a future with me. I do believe I even quoted that and I was wrong. I do not remember well anymore, and would like to apologize...	shellyj123	1	522	Mar 20, 2009 by maire rua
	Registered for the Retreat! yeah!! (Preview) Okay, I registered for the retreat that will be on the 27 28 29 of this month. I'm looking forward to it. I do admit I am having a little anexity too! But it's all good. On another note, tomorrow is Friday. The deadline I set for my A to be in inpatient treatment or I was filing for divorce. It appears tha...	Sincerely	3	859	Mar 20, 2009 by kitty
	Once again requesting prayers... (Preview) Thsi time it is for my extended family, a person who prayed for me during my cancer experience and continues to pray for me to this day. His name is Don, on Monday his heart rate went down to 25 bpm and then they found out that he had had a mild heart attach and then Wednesday they did triple bypass surgery. He...	wildthang86	5	776	Mar 19, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	Ashamed to admit (Preview) I have a mouth, when someone has wronged me or my family I spew nasty resentments at every opportunity including creating times when nothing at all has prompted it. Last night was yet another example of my judgment spewing. Our son was feeling bad for a friend who has no job, can get no job in today's ec...	Peggy7	9	1162	Mar 19, 2009 by o2bnormal
	Its all about the focus! (Preview) I can go into self pity and victimization very very quickly. There is no question for me that the relationship with the ex A left me in a huge amount of debt and to a certain extent "stuck" with what that means. Being resourceful can be an option for me sometimes but only when I stop out of the vi...	maresie	4	682	Mar 19, 2009 by Jennifer
	Rock Bottom???? (Preview) I've heard that an A usually doesn't want to seek help until they hit "rock bottom". What is rock bottom? My children's father was told at the age of 23, while being hospitalized for an inflamed liver was told that if he didn't quit drinking the way he was, he'd probably live for only 10 more ye...	mairmair09	12	1680	Mar 19, 2009 by Inpain
	How do you edit a post once it is posted to the boards? (Preview) needed to edit a post from last week, saw a correction i needed to make.....is this possible? I see where posts have been edited but i can't figure it out.... thanks shelly	shellyj123	2	560	Mar 19, 2009 by Christy
	Early sobriety (Preview) Morning everyone! My Abf competed treatment, is home and what a roller coaster it has been. Up and down his moods change constantly and he is so frustrated trying to put his life back together from damage caused during relapses. I am trying to work my program, seperate what is his vs what is mine and s...	inhisarms	3	748	Mar 19, 2009 by wjwcalifgirl
	About being "kicked out" (Preview) When I read Clara's post, I thought "awww honey" And after a pause, I thought I'd pose this question to my MIP AFG: How did you learn to get past the feelings of "I'm a failure in Al Anon!"? Or "I failed Al Anon school!" I still have to work on this. I still feel ashamed wh...	Tiger2006	4	1004	Mar 19, 2009 by clara
	A decision long overdue (Preview) In July of 08 I first came to alanon a huge mess. Alanon has helped me clear up my vision. I was advised not to make a major decision for at least 6 months after coming to alanon. Well, its 8 months.....my thoughts are the same....I'm ready to have a life without my A Hubby. He's been going to AA and is sti...	Sincerely	4	717	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	New to this board and need help desperately (Preview) I am a member of Al-Anon and they have been a great help to me. However, I need advise ASAP and too early to call my sponsor. My 37 year old daughter is an alcholic and probably has a drug problem to go along with it. Her husband has kicked her out of the house. He filed for divorce yesterday. He has agreed...	clara	8	634	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	I can't do this for another 3 days~ Need some ESH from my MIP family~HELP! (Preview) I don't know what my problem is today. I tried HALT and it is none of the above but I still feel "off". I'm in a good mood, and a good place I think, but am getting a bit nerveous over the upcoming date with EXABF. I asked him in an email if he was nerveous and he said he was because he had never had...	shellyj123	7	793	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Release: I know exactly why I got into that relationship (Preview) I chose to get into that relationship before allowing my heart & mind to heal from the previous one. I also tend to choose men that are similar to my father who was also an alcoholic. I couldn't save my dad so I guess I was trying to save other men I got close to. Took me a long time to learn that people c...	exhausted_imp	8	649	Mar 19, 2009 by maresie
	Serenity Prayer for Pets (Preview) ((((Family)))), I came across this on a plaque. I couldn't resist it. Hope you have a wonderful day! SERENITY PRAYER FOR PETS: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE OWNERS, I CANNOT TRAIN, COURAGE TO TRAIN THE OWNERS I CAN AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE! I always knew that they were the ones tr...	Karilynn	5	960	Mar 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	Boundaries & Expectations (Preview) Hi All, I have been dating a Recovering A for the last few weeks. Wow! Its been really great! We have alot in common, so our conversation is always great and we laugh alot and have a great time together. I was not crossing the line with him sexually as I didn't want to rush things and wanted to build a solid re...	Saved By Grace	14	907	Mar 18, 2009 by hotrod
	Stuck in this moment (Preview) My life has been moving very fast the last few yrs. I think it has been a long time since I stopped and came to the message board. However I feel it is something I am going to be needing to do a lot more in the near future. As many may have already heard.....my Mom passed away Saturday night. She had been battli...	stillkickin	17	3774	Mar 18, 2009 by kismetstrand
	Please help (Preview) Ny 29y/o son is dying of chirrosis. He needs a liver transplant but of course cant get one. I am trying so hard to stand back. I have told him not to contact me unless he is ready to get help. So I sit here and wait for a phone call saying he is dead.	ranbrew	7	614	Mar 18, 2009 by ranbrew
	Pickin up the pieces.... (Preview) Hi All.... As most of you know I had a minor melt down the other day when my son was missing his pap pap, My Afather, (deseased)... I have sence found my ground again, and thank you for all the shared your ESH with me and took the time to respond... It was most grateful... I did learn a few things from the exper...	Jozie	3	570	Mar 18, 2009 by hotrod
	health issues (Preview) During my last two years with the ex A he had two major health issues. At some points he embraced the idea of getting better wholeheartedly. Nevertheless when he was depressed he would schuttle everything and I'm sure taking drugs made him much worse. Needless to say he also didn't give up smoking or...	maresie	5	632	Mar 18, 2009 by Jozie
	Seems everyone knew but me!! (Preview) Ive posted this onGetting them sober site too, but thought someone might have more words of wisdom here too. My AH has flown off back to the west indies to his new life yesterday, a hard and tearful day for me. Then I find out last night, that he had been telling our mutual best friends and who knows who else...	Lilly Burn	8	672	Mar 18, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! (Preview) ((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Although I am not Irish, I do love my corned beef, potatoes and the sweaters. It has always been a dream of mine to go to Ireland. My favorite color happens to be green (along with pumpkin). Irish music is played he...	Karilynn	4	599	Mar 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	New here-need help with my pill addict (Preview) My son(age 21) is addicted to pills. I need any advice that I can get. I know I handle things all wrong. I have helped him out so many times and when I finally stopped financally he started stealing. Stealing cash, checks from the back of my personal and business accounts, stealing my ATm cards and get...	ZachsMom	7	592	Mar 17, 2009 by ZachsMom
	Once agian my wind is gone :( (Preview) Well.... LAst night went from having all my power to being powerless over thee very next moment...I was sit'n here sharing and reading ESH from all my MIP family, while my son was get'n in the shower and get'n ready for bed. I was sitting in my chair ESH'n. and when my son gets out of the shower and sits on t...	Jozie	3	588	Mar 17, 2009 by Christy
	A smile to start the morning.... (Preview) A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to s...	shellyj123	1	432	Mar 17, 2009 by Christy
	Happy Birthday to (drumroll) (Preview) TEA!!!! Have a wonderful day!!!!	Christy	11	667	Mar 17, 2009 by CJ
	Stressed? Try this (Preview) Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique used traditionally in Sicily. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. 1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream. 2. Picture yourself with both...	Christy	5	533	Mar 17, 2009 by Mobirdie
	I should know better (Preview) I should know better than to let my A get to me. I am a drug and alcohol counselor in a residential facility. I have been married to an A for 5 years. He had 70 plus days of sobriety beginning Dec. 1 of 2008. On Valentines day it all started going sour. He is currently living an hour away. He phones so often som...	lostcadc	10	979	Mar 17, 2009 by kitty
	So he called me last night... (Preview) My ex A called me last night on my cell phone (I didn't give him the number and asked ex MIL not to either) and surprisingly I didn't recognize his voice and when he said my name I said yes this is her - awaiting him to tell me who it was. He sounded shocked and disappointed about that. Anyway, he asked when he...	carolinagirl	4	622	Mar 17, 2009 by Tiger2006
	Sometimes we need a catalyst to come to a decision (Preview) I've been on and off with my A for over a decade. I've been in Alanon for 5 years and have learned a lot in that time. A couple of months ago I got diagnosed with a muscular disease and after coming out of the depression that caused I started making some plans to adapt to my health. One of those plans was to e...	exhausted_imp	6	554	Mar 17, 2009 by exhausted_imp
	avoiding catastrophe (Preview) One of my dogs is getting up there. She's showing lots of signs of age. Her walks are are lot shorter and she is definitely aging fast. Before al anon I would make this into a catastophe try to force her to get better. Now we take lots of nice short walkies with room for rest. Of course I have to avoid those...	maresie	7	637	Mar 17, 2009 by maresie
	Child custody issues.... (Preview) In the beginning of last month, I went to court with my children's father to modify our child custody order. My children's father suffers from alcoholism. I've never known anyone so dependent on alcohol in my life. I was hoping that the judge would order that his visists with the children be supervise...	mairmair09	7	593	Mar 17, 2009 by carolinagirl
	A Year of Looking Back....and forward! (Preview) Today I have been thinking a lot about my life, and where I've been, and where I'm going. It's been a wild trip so far....I turn 55 tomorrow. Maybe that's why I'm thinking.... After 4 failed marriages, I married the one man I thought I would love forever. An A. Who turned out to be an abusive, violent A...	Becky1	6	637	Mar 17, 2009 by kitty
	A story of alcoholism and abuse (Preview) This is such a sad story and unfortunately all too familiar. I saw it in the Anchorage newspaper. This was a once vibrant woman caught up in a codependent /abuse situation. It's a well written story of her decline. For anyone that is in this situation, please read it. Killer stole victim's spark, t...	Christy	5	588	Mar 17, 2009 by Karilynn
	chatroom back up and running!! (Preview) woo hoo thanks all great to be back on java belle1 hugs	belle1	2	411	Mar 16, 2009 by getoverit
	Prayers and Love please.. (Preview) One of our long time members, stillkickin, lost his Mom last night, suddenly and unexpectedly. Prayers and lots of uplifting thoughts and love are needed at this time for this young man and his family. ((((love you buzz)))) Do not stand at my grave and weep,I am not there, I do not sleep.I am in a thousa...	Christy	16	625	Mar 16, 2009 by o2bnormal
	Working past obsession, projection, and expectations~ (Preview) After a rather topsy turvy week last week I feel much more grounded today. Last week I was letting the upcoming date with EXABF work on and test every part of my program. Thanks to my program, my HP, my MIP family and my sponsor I do believe I passed:) Two of my worst character traits are obsessing a...	shellyj123	3	476	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Thanks for sharing! (Preview) It has been over a week since I got on this site. Missed getting on--even though I didn't have a whole lot to share. Thanks for all who shared on the topic of staying on topic. I am glad that I am always accepted even if I do ramble and seem to get off topic often. I hope you all benefitted from the share I did...	Hoot Nanny	1	453	Mar 16, 2009 by java
	I deserve more (Preview) My DH is an alcoholic. We have had significant problems for almost 10 years. No physical abuse, but extremely draining. He has been in therapy on and off, and lately because I demand it. We have been married for almost 20 years. I am 46. He is 58. I am ready to leave the marriage. He lies about how much he dri...	deserve_more	11	653	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	MY work while hubby is in rehab (Preview) So my A hubby checked himself into rehab. I gave up "suggesting" that perhaps he should go a couple of years ago. This last time he was away taking care of his father after a surgery. I could hear him spiraling down and could only watch, which in retrospect is such a blessing. The funny thi...	TLM	7	681	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Letting go...finally (Preview) After almost 20 years and a 16 year year marriage to my recovering alcoholic husband I have finally reached a point where I can't do it anymore. I left him at the end of July. He has been sober over five years now and I remember how happy I was when he finally reached that low point that he had to hit befor...	rio	9	635	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	i'm sorry and i'm selfish....those words are in his vocabluary!!!! (Preview) i woke up this morning after sleeping in the guest room. i was frustrated after having been woke up so many times in the night by him. as normal, the coffee was made and he was not home on a friday morning. he was at his aa meeting. i called him to let him know i was awake and that the coffee was good. *he ans...*	Sincerely	6	594	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Newbie wants to share too... (Preview) Hi everyone I just joined recently but this is the first time I am posting. I just have been reading everyones post/comments. I thought it would be my turn to tell my story. I just turned 33 and the love of my life is my AB. I met him about 2 1/2 years ago. He was sober. But half of our relationship has been a HUG...	LoveCC	5	504	Mar 16, 2009 by maresie
	Ups & Downs (Preview) Well RIP family... Sorry I haven't been on all weekend, but I couldn't get my computer to do so, so here I am.. :) I went to my usual F2f fri, with my SIL..I don't know it had to be just what I needed, when we left, we laughed the hole way home.. I mean till tears started to run in my face... It was just a wonderful...	Jozie	2	499	Mar 16, 2009 by shellyj123
	12 Step suggested home work. (Preview) Hello everyone, I am looking for some type of homework to help me work thru the 12 steps, is there such a thing? I know that AA has such an item, but I can not find anything for Al-Anon. With the AA home work you can print out suggested readings to read and then you are asked a series of question from your rea...	BrianS	4	590	Mar 16, 2009 by shellyj123
	hurt and confused (Preview) I really need some esh on this. My bf, almost a year sober, has been staying away on weekends for many months now, not overnight, but during the day, comes home after work during the week. He's also been grumpy lately and keeps critizining me over everything in the last few weeks. We had a sort of argument...	buick23	3	581	Mar 16, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	Yippie..i FINALLY went to my first FACE 2 FACE (Preview) OKAY, MIP! With the meeting room being down this weekend, I was forced to go to a face to face meeting today. I honestly don't think it was a coincedence that the rooms were out of order. I think it was because my HP knew how much I needed to get myself to a face to face meeting. It will not be my last. Than...	Sincerely	4	464	Mar 16, 2009 by Jozie
	first time here..... (Preview) Where to begin???? My father is an alcoholic. I grew up seeing him get drunk and physically abuse my codependent mother (at the time), and also abuse my little sister. They are no longer married. It's been about 15 years since he's been pretty much out of our lives. My mother is remarried to someone so wo...	mairmair09	8	612	Mar 16, 2009 by Goodgran
	Prayers please! (Preview) My MIL had a stroke on Friday. She seems to be doing well now but it was touch and go for a few days. I have never been so terrified in my life. She is truly my best friend. How weird is that? My mother-in-law is my best friend!!!!! It happened over a period of days. She had horrendous headaches and had gone to 2...	wildthang86	6	547	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Firing into step 10 (Preview) Hello everyone At an al-anon meeting the topic was step 10 "continued to make personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admit it" A member spoke about jumping onto this step in the beginning which I feel am doing myself a lot. Does anyone out there feel that they did or do this? A rec...	chezza	5	1089	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	conference (Preview) going to my first weekened conference at the end of the month it is called new beginnings. I am really looking forward to it I am going with 6 members from my group some who have been in alanon for over 20 years. My sponsor said there will be al anon and aa meetings and it is up to me what meing I choose to atten...	Tracy	2	517	Mar 16, 2009 by Jerry F
	Feeling guilty (Preview) Hi (((All))) Just need to off load this. My job involves shifts and a rota. I requested specific days off for when I have a visitor coming in 4 weeks time. Nothing unreasonable and requested in good time. I've just had to really stand my ground to get my request, I didnt get the 3 days off I wanted, just...	Mariner	3	572	Mar 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	Have a quesstion??? (Preview) No big drama, I just recently 'Since Finding myself' Realized that I LOVE TO READ fiction books... My question... I know that there are TONS of AL-anon books, but is there any books that anyone knows that are fiction books that tell the story of an Afamily, or an alcoholic that recovered or an Adult Ch...	Jozie	3	455	Mar 15, 2009 by BrianS
	choices (Preview) last night I did something really foolish I went to a family party and got really drunk. really really drunk. I went to the my AB's house and he walked me home. I can remember crying getting aggressive apologising all kinds of carzy stuff. It was like all my pain was coming out I have been trying to und...	Tracy	1	514	Mar 15, 2009 by Mariner
	How to stop being a door mat? (Preview) After hearing Shells story I started having serious flash backs to a time my ex-husband took the only car we had and left me and five children( 4 under the age of 5) stranded. God provided one of the most remarkable miracles and over the course of a day friends and family donated 9,000 dollars to buy a new c...	rorussell9	10	2945	Mar 15, 2009 by brightmommy
	One day at a time.... (Preview) For today, I have realized that since coming to Alanon I have improved my emotional state...I am no longer trapped in my mind of past events...able to live in Today...Break free from Yesterday and not step into Tomorrow...I can feel the sadness being lifted from my eyes and a new way of life approachin...	brightmommy	2	619	Mar 15, 2009 by hotrod
	The best gift that Al-anon gives (Preview) Someone said this in a meeting last week, and it's been so helpful to me... Well, I should have written it down because I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but... Al-anon allows me to love the addicts in my life. Even if I have to block them from my life for awhile. Even if the rest of the world is saying "Ho...	gngcrzy	2	549	Mar 14, 2009 by LoveCC
	Thank God I found this site! (Preview) Hi all newbie here. I am so glad I found this site, the daily stress I go to is sometimes unbearable. My story starts out as a child, i had a lying, very manipulative mother who never showed love, and an alcohlic father. I grew up not knowing who I was and where I was going. I tried so hard to please my parents a...	ange777	5	348	Mar 14, 2009 by brightmommy
	Do you remember your "first time"? (Preview) I've heard it said that we never forget the "first time", and I would imagine that for most that probably rings true, but as I write this I wonder how many of us remember the "last time". My son and I have gotten in the habit lately, due to my ever increasing love of the world around m...	shellyj123	2	559	Mar 14, 2009 by brightmommy
	February - Step Two Revisited (Preview) So here it is February again already! And with that, time to revisit Step 2 and contemplate how, if I keep searching, I can continue growing...always new things to learn and discover! This past year I have spent getting to know my HP once again. Still in process of that, and probably will be so the rest of...	kismetstrand	2	620	Mar 14, 2009 by Roxie345
	I just had to share ........ (Preview) I am a Great-Auntie!!!!!! I am so excited. One of my very favorite nieces had a baby girl and her namesake is for my mother who died when I was only 26 years old with my own young babies. I know you all just won't believe that a 29 year-old could possibly be a Great Auntie, but tis true. Maria And here she is...	Maria123	12	685	Mar 14, 2009 by buick23
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.