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Attitude is all about what you choose to do
(Preview)
Hi all, I last posted that my "A" hub is gone has moved out. Thursday nights is a night I usually a f2f meeting. My hub asked if he could come stay with the kids while I went to the meeting and I said sure. He got to my house before I got off work, with permission. He is depending on other people to tra...
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Mandy123
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5
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606
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Your Help is needed
(Preview)
Hi all, The saturday morning meeting is in much need of member support. And just a quick reminder the weekend morning meetings start at 10am Eastern......7am Pacific. I guess we had some come in at 9am looking for a meeting. It is early for me to chair this meeting...so if you want to see a west coast gal a...
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Mandy123
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1
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506
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Validation from the A?
(Preview)
Just need some feedback here, so I can quit obsessing Why do I care what my exAH and his A g/f (both sober?) think, and thus say, about me? Controlling, narcissistic, a liar... lots of names for me. Funny thing is, they describe me exactly as what I think of them. AH runs everything by her and seeks h...
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Loupiness
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4
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622
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just need to rant a bit
(Preview)
New chapter......today I am picking up my AH from inpt treatment that he has been in since Monday nite. I was just so happy to get him out of the house, I didn't really think about the other side of it. I am not looking forward to bringing him home-- because then I have to deal with him. Out of sight, out of min...
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gknee
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5
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784
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Who'da Thunk?
(Preview)
I have been talking to my ex A a LOT lately, he is getting ready to move back to this area in a week - we'll see how that goes. He just left a girlfriend who he went to California with and that lasted about two months and she has been sending him nasty messages, etc. He said to me... She needs to do it like you di...
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carolinagirl
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3
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453
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Just sayingt, "HI"
(Preview)
Thinking of all of you while on vacation here in Newport, Rhode Island. I am having fun in this beautiful place, but all of you are never out of my mind. A is behaving himself. YAY!!! Best wishes to all, Diva
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Diva
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6
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512
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i'm back
(Preview)
Hi everyone this is Leo. It has been so long since I was on here that I forgot all my user information to get in so I am using the name return lol. It is so nice to see you are all still here and I am just going through the old posts. Hope that life has been kind to you and Hp giving you strength and courage to get...
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return
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0
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334
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BRAVO!
(Preview)
Bravo to my AH. Today is nine months sober for him! It is the longest he has been sober since he and I have been together. We were talking last night and he said, "I would have had 13 years if I didn't start drinking again when we got together 8 years ago." Hmmmm, what the heck does that mean.....
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db55
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5
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704
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Terrible Week & Terribly Weak......
(Preview)
My AS is on a binge this week, my nerves are frayed. We live in a small town and he lives too close to our family for us not to be caught up in his drama. He is always at my back door for a hand out, I give him what he needs just to get by on. He will plead and beg until I have no strength left to say no. It is getting t...
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DreamsOver
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6
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579
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I actually feel better!
(Preview)
I feel so much better now that I let go some of my anxieties about my illness. I needed to get all that out so I can move on. Today is a much better day than Tuesday when I posted all that to all of you. It was very scary to open up to you. I am learning to accept myself today. I am much better off doing that. I ev...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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685
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I am not a bad mom.
(Preview)
I am not perfect, but I am not a bad mom, as AH wants me to believe. I am the one who is with my kids 95% of the time. He is busy coaching during the week and/or going to the gym after work and coming home when he feels like it, and then binge drinking on the weekends, staying out until 5 a.m. and spending the dayli...
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SWgal
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5
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620
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Had to smile...
(Preview)
I wanted to share part of a conversation that my son and I had. A little background...growing up my son rarely saw his father sober. My A would hit the bar before he came home from work and leave fairly early on weekends to do the same. (now sober almost 4 yrs.) My son is 19, leaving lots of years to build r...
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Christy
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8
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596
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Okay! I think I get it now...
(Preview)
Spoke to my sponsor last night. She called right when I received a text from my ex that I was contemplating my response to. We talked about keeping simplicity in and insanity out. We talked of "Easy Does It". "Yep", I said, "I got it". Then we hung up and what did I do...
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Loupiness
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6
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722
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No meetings in your area? Start one!
(Preview)
One of our Al-Anon family is going to be moving back to the mainland. I am sad, as I will miss her. She's always had such wonderful shares and she has this contagious laughter that I love. One thing I found out about her is that she actually started many of the meetings in my area. Her funny reason for starti...
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Aloha
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10
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820
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Becoming just a participant...
(Preview)
Aloha family; The day before yesterday I told a sponsee that I would support him by being at his father's funeral. His Dad just died from brain cancer and my sponsee who works this program pretty darn well attended to his part of that event like the recovering member he is. I got there just a little ear...
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Jerry F
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4
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743
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"Let it begin with me"
(Preview)
I love the reminder..."Let it begin with me" how many times have I wondered... how things could change.. when others would see their true purpose... when others could find their true light.. how healing could help another... if only they would do this or that... until I remember the sayin...
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Peggy7
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4
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801
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my wife
(Preview)
Hi, Dane here, grateful newcomer in Alanon. :) I've been having a hard time again with my brand new wife. she is in recovery; she's been in it for years, but she still has issues and emotional problems. A relative of hers just passed away and I've been there for her a lot. The other night, I was up with her b...
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Data395
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8
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667
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He's gone
(Preview)
Hi all, Whelp my hub is gone. Moved out Sunday. I wasn't sure he was really gone, but I found out he is. I was all weird how it happend, but most of this situation has all been weird. He took off Sunday after I told him I wouldn't do something. So he was punishing me by leaving, not knowing where he was, and not c...
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Mandy123
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10
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1049
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Despondent
(Preview)
My Ason is off the streets .....back, via a short stint in rehab, in the accommodation he nearly drank himself to death in a few months ago.....it just feels like the circle of hell is complete. I feel so despondent today..... I know Im powerless over his disease..... Im relieved he has a roof over his h...
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Ness
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4
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667
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sobriety
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I dot know where to start my partner has been sober for nearly 6 months and I am so proud of him. But I am still struggling with the damage this disease has done. I know he is sick, I know he loves me and never wanted to hurt me or anyone else. But today if he so much as does not do his chores all the o...
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Tracy
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2
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716
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I feel I need to post
(Preview)
I thought I would post instead of just reading today when I noticed that there was not one new topic since this morning. That started to make me sad like maybe everyone was starting to lose interest in the site. I sure hope not! My son (the one in 28 day rehab) said to me last night..."Mom, you have to g...
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Gailey
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6
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698
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Change Your Thinking
(Preview)
Saw this, realized how much like the Alanon message we learn each day directs us in this exact same thinking: It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.. Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoo...
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Peggy7
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6
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683
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How do you watch the one you love kill themselves alittle more each day?
(Preview)
He relapsed! coughing up blood and lung tissue he just laughs and says he is dying! Do i stay and watch him kill himself a little more each day or do i leave in hopes that he will come around? I'm lost... about two weeks ago i found this site and made my first post. thank you all who responded with support and a...
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tryingtofindaway2009
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13
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668
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It's been 3 months and I'm still angry at him....
(Preview)
It's been 3 months since I broke up with my ABF and I find I still have moments where I am angry with him for being such a helpless drunk and ruining our relationship. It just pi**e* me off! I wish he (the memories, anger, hurt, etc.) would just go away. I haven't heard from him since I dumped him in his p...
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Hawk120025
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9
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601
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How Al-Anon Works gave me a great laugh today.
(Preview)
(I have quoted a paragraph from the book... so I'll understand if this post needs to be removed - just let me know if you had to remove it, mods. Thanks!) It is a very rare occasion when I'm sitting reading a book in quiet solitude and find myself bursting out laughing at something I've read. (Normally I mi...
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Aloha
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0
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389
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Illusions
(Preview)
I was thumbing through the C2C meditation book the other day, looking for a topic for a meeting and came across one that "I" had written in the margin that wasn't in the index. I had entitled it "illusions" because that seemed to me to be the focus of the reading on July 26, pg 208 of t...
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Overcome
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8
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1065
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Sponser
(Preview)
im doing alanon online only as im scared to go to real life meeting but im told your meant to have a sponser to help you go thru the steps properly now i dont have one how do you get one or do you get one when your only doing it online you see i want to do this right
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Shellybelly
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5
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558
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He is currently sleeping off his vacation from home.
(Preview)
Hello thank you again for ll your support, I'm looking for face to face meetings in vancouver and definately wanting to go, I took away his car and gave it up so he didn't have such an easy way of leaving in the middle of the night. I told him that he had to start working again. I felt powered by all of your post...
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tryingtofindaway2009
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5
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729
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I am new to this forum-My Story
(Preview)
My husband is in recovery and has been for a little over two years. He went to rehab a little over two years ago because of his performance at work. He managed to maintain his sobriety 6 months and then he struggled for about a year and a half off and on the wagon. In August I was away on a business trip. He dran...
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frustrated
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7
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584
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What to do with love of A
(Preview)
I love a man more than life. We have been in relationship for 3 years. I was not aware of the fact he was alcoholic in the first year. We became engaged and i would love to marry him. He says things will get better if I commit. Well, he moved two and a half hours away and because I now realize the extent of his pr...
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usedup64
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6
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601
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How many times am I going to stick my hand on the hot stove ????? In need of ESH:(
(Preview)
Well the weekend started out great. Made my F2F Friday and it was amazing.....HP spoke to me again and I left with all the empty spots filling full:) Had my date Sat night and it went well also. This guy is sooo very different...I'm guessing probally because he doesn't have an alcohol or drug addictio...
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shellyj123
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5
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706
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A LITTLE LIMITED!
(Preview)
I AM A LITTLE LIMITED IN THIS LIFE WHICH MAKES ME VERY FRUSTRATED AT TIMES & OFTEN PUTS ME ON THE "PITY POT". MOST RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN KINDA DEPRESSED & SAD AS I HAVE BEEN CRYING ALMOST EVERY DAY. I DON'T KNOW IF I EVER MENTIONED THAT I HAVE BIPOLAR DISORDER WHICH LIMITS MY MIND TO SIMPL...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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606
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What do I do?
(Preview)
Been away for weekend to visit frail, elderly father who is in a nursing home 120 miles from my home. Had a nice weekend as went with son, daughter and her fiance and we enjoyed being together, eating out,etc. Came back from just 2 nights away to find AH had not eaten for 2 days, had done nothing apart from d...
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Tattyhead
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6
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837
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Progress
(Preview)
Family, I had an interesting night and was able to see some progress. Which for me right now seeing growth is something to celebrate. And right after I typed that last sentence somehting happend so I saw more growth. TY HP! A couple of months ago I broke down and created a facebook account. I have some fre...
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Mandy123
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6
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827
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needing someone
(Preview)
A couple people seemed to be against needing another. I am not talking being obsessed, depending on anyone else for anything. I have been independant all my life. I was a widow 18 years raising my kids and everyone elses, working full time and going to school full time. I don't need in an unhealthy way. O...
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debilyn
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17
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736
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Have I finally made it to step 1... i wonder....
(Preview)
She says that she doesn't have a drinking problem. She's right. Isn't she? --> SHE doesn't <-- "I have a problem with her drinking".
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ajay147
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3
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574
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frustrated
(Preview)
It makes me sad that people of the world believe love is one thing. There are many kinds of love, intimate love, friend love,dog love, etc. I asked to have my posts deleted but was denied. Sorry I shared this. Was so happy to have a true friend finally after losing mine. Am actually very unhappy that peop...
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debilyn
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3
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579
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Memories of you
(Preview)
I realize that I've really been isolating myself lately and having my own little pity party. I think I've gotten so scared of getting hurt that I've shut people out. I tried to control my ABF's addictions by telling him to dump his friends or I'm dumping him. Now I see how childish that was of me. I wouldn'...
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christinajeanne
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1
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492
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Recovering alcholic
(Preview)
Hello friends, I could use a little insight, my boyfriend (30 years of age) have been dating a calender year, he was a binger for 3 years, and has been sober for 30 days, he recently needed a "break", so that he can figure things out and that sobriety is his focus right now ( cant argue ther...
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italia80
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8
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643
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Acorns.
(Preview)
(((Family))), Last week I had my mammogram. It was a beautiful fall day so I decided to walk home from the hospital. It was only 4 miles and the route takes me past some beautiful streets. As I walking past a local community bible college they have a row of trees. I have been missing my beloved Tim a lit...
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Karilynn
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14
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739
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feeling very close to AH...lots of tragedy lately.
(Preview)
rough couple of months. my 40yr. old. sister-in-law was murdered in july. then my 43yr. old brother-in-law was found dead 2 weeks ago (accidental drug over-dose; xanax and methadone.) my poor AH is dealing with so much! he is depressed, drinking quite a bit and not eating. the grief and pain...
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debhud
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4
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1496
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he wants one more chance
(Preview)
My A and I were married 26 years. The last 7 alcohol became a problem. We were officially divorced in August. I planned to move out of state, he has begged me to stay. He says he can't do this without me. I gave him 30 days. I told him that I would tell it like it was. I'm not glossing over anything anymor...
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coddingl
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9
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692
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Looking for help for the one i love
(Preview)
I'm new here, this is my first time really even talking about his problem. My boyfriend is an addict has been for over five years. we seem to get one step forward and a week later take ten steps back. I am running on empty and looking for help in anyway possible. whether its getting the courage to leave or th...
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tryingtofindaway2009
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6
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780
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Ex-boyfriend moving on from alcoholism but I can't
(Preview)
Just last Thursday I moved my boyfriend out of my house because I finally realized he was an alcoholic and I was being an enabler. He has been the love of my life for 3 years and has become such a big part of my family. My family started accepting him as one of their own and I was just waiting for the day for him t...
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Chenango
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9
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712
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How do you remember you're dealing with the disease and not the person?
(Preview)
In all my time I've spent in al-anon, I STILL have a difficult time remembering I'm dealing with the disease and not my husband. I found myself chanting "It's the disease. It's the disease. It's the disease." over and over and over the other night because I've been so ANGRY with AH. Trying to...
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Aloha
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9
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800
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When you think it's over......OMG its not
(Preview)
(((((((((Hello Friends)))))))))), Well I pray the final shoe dropped today for my husbands days of alcoholism and addiction. About a year before he passed he stole one of my check books and wrote checks from here to kingdom come...... I have been to numerous hearings trying to straighten all of this...
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Andrea12
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12
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795
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Honoring the Voice in my head
(Preview)
(((((Family))))) Some of you may remember a post I made in September of last year called "Meeting one of the voices in my head". I wrote that after having met one of my recovery "heroes" whom I had heard on a speaker cd 4 yrs before I got to meet him in person. I was at a Serenity Celeb...
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david62
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10
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657
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Meeting Support
(Preview)
Hi all, If you all have some time Saturday mornings the meeting could really use some support. We had a few newcomers and only one share this morning. Hope to see some more MIPers at the meeting next week. Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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1
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354
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Just wanted to say HI
(Preview)
DOING OK LOVE YOU ALL TAKE CARE & GOD BLESS!
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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473
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saying goodbye
(Preview)
Two years ago I saw the ex A for the last time. I realise now that I have not really said goodbye to him metaphorically. I am still holding on with some issues like blame and rage and resentment. Now its about time to let go and move on. I believe he has been my reference point for so long. Now I have to fi...
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maresie
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7
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468
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Can Anyone Relate to a Clutter Problem?
(Preview)
I wrote about looking more closely at myself now that my A husband is no longer drinking (although a raging dry drunk with no program). For many years he has said nothing about my clutter issues, and the cost of my storage facilities, because I realize now it was guilt. How could he confront me about m...
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MaryPoppins
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8
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1042
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"Can you hear me now?" - a bit of humor written after Reading Peggy's Post entitled "Change your Thinking"
(Preview)
This post was written on a whim, after reading Peggy's Post entitled : "Change Your Thinking". If you have not read it yet, I strongly recommend you do - perhaps even before you go further by reading the following. It literally brought tears to my eyes and reminded me of similar situation...
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lacewing
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5
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932
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Update
(Preview)
The last couple of days have been crying days for me and I'm not really sure why, I miss him, it still hurts, is this EVER going to go away and get better???? As for me, I am doing well with my self improvement thing. I have had a few days of drinking, smoking, eating carbs... But I am working in a progress no...
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carolinagirl
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2
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337
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New Here, but not to alanon
(Preview)
Hi, everyone...I am new to this forum, although not to alanon - been involved for almost 20 years, starting in alateen,and then of course following suit and marrying myself an alcoholic spouse a couple years ago...denial ain't just a river in Egypt! I really need this forumn - we only have one f2f in o...
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teresamay
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4
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697
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Pregnant and in need of advice
(Preview)
I am five months pregnant and the baby's father is an alcoholic. We had ended our relationship over his drinking (and related behaviors) prior to my learning of the pregnancy. Upon learning about it, we reunited. At the time, he had talked to his doctor about getting on medication to help control hi...
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flyingakatana
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7
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579
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insanity
(Preview)
What is it when you do the same thing over and over and expect a different result? more like you hope for a different one. Tell me, look at this. First husband was killed in an accident. Second husband had a brain tumor and woke up NOT him at all. basically died. Now found myself in love with someone who I hav...
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debilyn
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9
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605
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update
(Preview)
Everything is ok with my friend who I am very close to. We continued to communicate, what he said reassured me and made me see how much he does love and care for me. Yesterday I went to see my AH in the big house. For you that do not know, he left in 2002 permanently. lived off this woman who allowed it. Was so dr...
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debilyn
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1
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429
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Why do I feel so betrayed and hurt?
(Preview)
Yesterday, my very best friend called me. I live downstairs from her. Her brother and sister in law were over, she was checking into rehab again. This is her second time, and she promised before to the doctors that she would stop drinking. The problem is that anytime there is a problem she can't han...
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melmel1
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9
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738
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A very long time since I have been here...
(Preview)
Hi all,It has been years since I have been here. I used to attend ftf meetings and come here because my sons might be coming to area where I lived or even to live with me. Well, that happened many years ago. My youngest son came to me from jail, years of bad addiction to speed, alcohol, and whatever else h...
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richard
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5
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755
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Good week.. then, not so much :(
(Preview)
I, or should I say we, my AH and I have been having what I thought to be such a good week. He's been going to meetings, I've been going to online meetings (not ready for f2f yet) and then it happens, as it happens all the time. My AH gets reimbursed at his job for our cable bill and any money he spends related to...
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Stormy
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4
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472
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