The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have just asked my sober AB to leave he has taken all his stuff and gone to his mumsI am hormonal which has played a part but its more than that, Why did I do this? 1. we both work full time at weekends he watches his son play football then comes home and falls asleep. I am left to do most of the chores (getting restenful not a partnership)
2. He tried to make amneds with his ex mother of his kids last week she didnot want to talk, he made ammends witha cousin but no attempt to make amends with me ( actions speak louder than words)
3. I have a good job and pay most of the bills he has improved a lot but still I take on more responsibility here.
I just feel really unappreciated for all the love and support I have given. I feel like I am second best all the time to friends, family anyone. I know he is doing well ans I know I have it a lot better but still feel like my needs are not getting met. I am not sure how I feel but it is quite nice at the mo with just me and kids.
I do love him but i am so unhappy spmething has to change just feel like I always have to understand he is sick always make allowances.
what about me??
any ESH would be gratefully appreciated
-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 18th of October 2009 12:55:40 PM
-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 18th of October 2009 12:56:47 PM
What about me ? Well being happy is your job not his , for the alcoholic they seem to be doing great happy happy happy and were still not doin so good . I assume you are not attending Al-Anon meetings for yourself , i hope u find a meeting soon . The alcoholics sobreity comes first , yea the same way his drinking did I know . This board is great but with out f2f meetings you are missing so much of what this program has to offer . As for amends to you , some times an alcoholic cant' do anything but NOT drink and that has to be enough . the longer he is sober the more aware he will become of how his drinking affected other people , I believe they will truly never understand how thier behavior affected us any more than we will understand thier compulsion to drink . Happiness is an inside job they told me over and over again til I understood that no one knew what made me happy including me . - go figure . My husb is a bonus in my life not the reason I am happy. Get the focus on your own needs . let go of the things tht he should be doing leave them for him , give him an oportunity to grow up and become responsible , there is no reason for him to do more if we continue to do it all .
If you choose to so... learn to get to know the person who will be your very best friend... and just wait until your best friend learns she can meet her own needs her very own self! When your best friend does this you will have a most comfortable friendship with her. As this happens, she/you will only have to be out and about and another person who also has become well centered... you both will just gravitate towards each other and then share a place in Love who is God.
This board is great but with out f2f meetings you are missing so much of what this program has to offer .