The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As most of you know, this year has been very hard on me and my family. I never totally understood life itself, in how sometimes things seem like they couldn't possibly get worse.....and then suddenly they take another step deeper into negativity.
My uncle just passed away tonight. He was diagnosed only months ago with terminal lung cancer. Sadly the doctors were correct in how much time they estimated that he had.
The only positive thing here, is that I at least had the opportunity to spend time with him and say goodbye. I did not have this chance with my mom. Right now I don't feel I have even processed what has happened. It kind of feels as if I am just dredging on each day, not really "living" just coping, and trying to get through each day. I have moments where I am able to not focus on it, and "escape" from everything and feel like myself but it doesn't really last. I have not resorted to smoking again.....it has been over 100 days since my last cigarette, and I hope never to smoke again.
I am noticing that I am not as outgoing as I have been prior to this year. I do not want to be too hard on myself, but I do not like feeling this way. It just isn't me. Only time is going to help heal me I know......but right now I just want the ferris wheel to stop for a minute and let me catch a breath.
I'm sorry that you lost your Uncle. I too recently lost a dear Uncle. I too felt blessed I was able to say goodbye. What a gift that was. It's been a rough time but you will survive it and move forward as you come to terms with the losses. It takes time. Give yourself that. We can't control the cycle of life and laws of nature. We are powerless over so much in life. I know at this point it's hard to see outside the grief. Been there. There were times I thought it just wasn't right that the sun came up the next day because my life had changed so drastically. It does come up though sweetie. It comes up everyday to allow us yet another day to heal. In time it will get better. Sometimes the pain doesn't go away quickly, but you learn to live with it and little by little the pain turns to wonderful memories.
Love you, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I am so sorry for the loss of your Uncle this evening. I know this loss is hard and am glad you were able to share quality time together before his passing.
You are correct being gentle with yourself during this time is very important.
You are and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
But you are still hanging and still kickin (((((sweetheart)))))
I am sorry for your loss too, my boy. It's been a hell of a year for you, it's true.
You are an amazing man, and I love ya! Remember all of your resources my dear . . . meetings, alanon friends to call, the slogans. You are not alone sweetie, just reach out and touch someone's hand.
We love you and are there for you if/when you want.
for the stillkickin family
love ya, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
You are in my thoughts and prayers my friend. Life is certainly throwing a lot at you this year. I think you are handling it all amazingly well. I am so proud of you.
I am coming out of a huge slump after leaving the ex A two years ago. There are times when I feel like we do think give me a minute. I am so glad you have this board to come to and relate. We do care and there are so many wonderful people here who can help share the burden some by listening.
I'm very sorry for your latest loss, Still. It's so hard to understand isn't it. I think eventually acceptance will come to you, and I hope happy and sad will rearrange themselves for ya. pw
My sympathies on loosing your uncle. You have been through so much my friend. But it is a testament to the person you are that you are still here. You have an inner strength and beauty that will see you through these times. Of that I am sure of. Meanwhile, I will be sending you extra love and prayers your way. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
for the stillkickin family