The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some ppl were mean to her last night at her online AA meeting.
It's not at MIP, it's somewhere else.
Anway, she was trying to train to lead meetings at this place online and they put her thru what I thought was so much rigamarole that it drove her crazy. I saw her at the computer 24/7, it seemed, answering email, waiting for more email, emailing, until she spent a sleepless night fruitlessly trying to register her nick. Finally in the morning, she succeeded.
then, last night at her midnight AA meeting, she raised her hand to share and didn't get called on. the leader had called on everybody else, but not her. She politely texted, "Hello? I need to share please." Got ignored again. Then, "Hi, group, can anyone find out what's with the leader?"
Nothing.
then another member told her to share.
she goes, "I am waiting for the leader to call on me."
He goes, "Oh, Pul-lease!" which made her feel bad.
Still nothing from leader.
she asked for a group conscience. "does anyone else want to hear me share?"
Two ppl answered.
She shared and ended with, "I don't appreciate not being called on. I feel singled out and hurt and unsafe."
Everyone ignored her then.
Suddenly they all ((()))d the leader adn ignored her.
She reported the incident to the administration, who told her that the leader was "in training and she should appreciate his valiant efforts".
She wrote back that she was feeling awful and that she "screwed up" and "would not make a good leader".
All night they emailed back and forth, and today, finally, the admin said that she "was running away from her problems".
If you wife is suicidal, chances are high she needs professional help ALONG with AA.
Get her to a doctor ASAP, suicidal thoughts in addicts are very serious, please get her some help, this is likely more than you can handle in a "self help" environment.
Please remember that in a self help setting, like AA, people are in various stages of recovery and you may need to seek out other meetings until you find some people with real recovery who can think about the needs of others, newbies like your wife.
I am not saying get professional help instead of AA, it is an addition to. If your wife is not finding the support she needs from other addicts, and it pushes her to suidical thoughts, then she really needs a safe nurturing supportive place (which professional help provides), while she finds a AA group with recovery.
Just my ESH, take what you like and leave the rest...
Aloha Dane...Mary offered very sound suggestions. We are powerless...for real!! If in fact your spouse was suicidal or appearing suicidal that is the time for a call to a professional. There is no one here qualified for your situation especially under the condition that we are all detached. If your spouse needs professional assistance the courageous thing to do is call. If you have a program sponsor you make the call also for your own help. Mary spoke of various levels of recovery and that is a reality. We don't go to crazy people for help with our emotional troubles especially if they are unqualified and unwilling at the same time and we have our expectations highly infalted. If you have meetings to get to...get to them. If you have a sponsor to assist you...call him. If you have established a relationship with a Power Greater than yourself ask that Higher Power for help and then let it happen. (((((hugs)))))
Encourage her to find another AA on line group , some are pretty clicky and who in hell needs that . there are hundreds of aa groups on line . she will find a good fit program and counceling work well together . go for it . Louise
