Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

For those of you who have alcoholic spouses who have done some really disgusting, embarassing things when they are drunk, how do you get past that. I mean really? Peeing in the fridge? Peeing on the tv? My AH has done a lot of things while he's drunk and I just don't see him as the same person anymore - I...

Katy · Katy

Some things just jump right out and bite ya bum, I'm not too good with words some people can just write very few and get it right out there, me I have to write essays, but the the thing is, it all takes time to process what it is, I read to understand it fully and then struggle to try and apply it to my life, even...

ElizabethP65 · ElizabethP65

On Sunday, February 6, I posted a question asking for ESH from those of you who have dealt, successfully, with infidelity by a dry alcoholic. I was very grateful for the 3 very helpful replies. There is one reply, which I wanted to read again because it was so powerful to me. Now it's gone. You know who you...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I told a friend of mine I gave him 90 days before he would be in jail. He called me from somewhere Thurs and Fri. and he was sleeping w/ ppl for a place to stay. Fun, fun, fun. I got a strange call late Sat. night and sure enough he was in jail. I looked it up online and see he is in til the 22nd. So I thought,...

LeesesPieces · LeesesPieces

So here's my story. Where I came from, what happened, and where I am today. I am 27 years old and have been married to my husband 5 months, we've been together 5 years. He is a recovering alcoholic. He was drinking and using for the first 2 years of our relationship, and thankfully has 3 years sober and cont...

Jerry F · Jerry F

HOPE!! Just found out that the state legislature is considering a proposal that all the liquor licensenees in the state have their employees that handle alcohol from the establishment to the drinker be educated on alcohol and the effects it has on drinkers plus a few other twists. I have no idea if t...

grammie · grammie

Good morning fellow members Because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer, I am asking as many who care to to join me in prayer today for mbub. Some of you may know her and others not, she is having treatment today for a tumor in her head. I believe that the more prayers go up the better able HP is able to...

wdiagw · wdiagw

I have to get this off my chest. My husband is an alcoholic. He accepts that he is an alcoholic; he embraces the fact that he is an alcoholic; he brags to buddies about how much he drinks. He doesn't think he is doing anything wrong because he still gets up in the morning and goes to work every day. His ac...

freeagain · freeagain

I had a great weekend full of recovery. It was our annual round up here. I hadn't been in a couple of years. This year it was gently suggested that I go. For me. I have missed it so. The speakers, the fellowship. Seeing friends who I haven't seen in years in some cases. Just the love. So, I went. The speakers w...

tlcate · tlcate

Hello Family, So I have had this idea rolling around in my head for quite some time. I am getting ready to do my second round of the steps with my sponsor. I have always had this urge to really get into some deep discussions here with my MIP family regarding the steps and learn what the people I spend so muc...

pineapple · pineapple

Since I found this site I've learned so much. Mostly to take care of me first which includes learning to detach from my AH. I've quit nagging him about his drinking, I don't yell at him or argue about the help I don't get from him. I don't try to make him eat, shower or do anything else. I've let him be even whe...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

This has been talked about on this board before but it is now imminent and I am feeling increaslingly sad. AH and I met on Valentine's day 40 years ago. He gatecrashed a party I held with fellow flatmates. I got talking to him at the end of the evening, he asked me out and the rest, as they say, is history. We h...

Ness · Ness

Hi folks.....a friend sent this to me, I like it......... thought you might too. Don't know the original source.........maybe you will. 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2. Came to believe there was...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I am the mother of an addicted adult son. I love my son very much and someday I hope he will love himself also. I cringe when I hear people giving their opinion on addicts and what should be done about them. "They (addicts) should be put into prison with the key thrown away", I would never put up...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Where do I begin? It has been hectic past couple of weeks and not being able to get here hasn't helped. The first trauma/drama was husband having chest pains and being admitted to the hospital and getting a 2nd stint put in his heart. He had a blockage of over 93% in his artery. They said it was so close that...

lindseymommyof2 · lindseymommyof2

Okay, so I confronted my A Fiance, who has been drinking off and on since I met him. The only reason he stopped in the past was his DUI..SO-little background- He's got 4 DUI's went to treatment, 6 times I think. He at first said, no way I am not going to quit blah blah...then the next day(which was yesterd...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Family, I came across the following, which I wrote back in July 2008 [how time flies] and thought it worth posting again as I have kept it safe to happen upon it again someday. That someday is today: "Gratitude leads to humility - so I am told, and if that is the case then I need to make sure that my humi...

miss lucy · miss lucy

am back! been at AH's side for the past two days, nursing him back to health. oh yes! despite him wrecking the former marital home and destroying a lot of my possessions, and despite my being resolute that i could see no future for us, when he text me in the middle of the night saying he was really ill...

RLC · RLC

Family, It doesn't snow in Alabama very often, but it is as I post. For those of you who are not aware, just the mention of snow in our forecast causes a stampede of grocery shoppers that wipe out every loaf of bread and every gallon of milk available while the rest of the world laughs at us. We treat 2&q...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((Hello my Friends)))))). First of all Happy Valentines Day to all of you young at heart out there...and for those of you are still couples may you treasure these simple things in life....a card...a hug or even a happy valentines day wish from the one you love....... I have been having some sad mome...

Katy · Katy

We do what it is that we think we not ought to hoping that we will get what it is that isn't possible! Curtesy of our very own Jerry F, ya just gotta love him to bit's, I do mwah x Katyx

vlc · vlc

One of the three C's, anyway. Hi. I'm new, sponsorless, and hoping for a little guidance. I think I've got the "can't control it" and "can't cure it." It's just a matter of making it habitual in my day-to-day life. I'm having trouble, however, with the "didn't cause it.&qu...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

First of all, thank you to everyone who offers ESH to me whenever I post, I take what I need and remember it when I'm going through things. I am so happy to have found this site, it keeps me grounded in between F2F meetings. My step.... tonight my Abf told me that he loves me. He had therapy today and appar...

Bluelady · Bluelady

My daughter is going to treatment again. Her husband said they can talk with no promises on what thier future will be. I did go too the al-anon meeting here last night. To my surprise I am not alone. Our stories are different yet all the same. I could have written most of the posts others did. Last night I ju...

malady · malady

I've been in the al-anon program for seven months now and I had been told to try and hold off on any major decisions for the first year. Seven months ago my AH finally admitted he had a problem and saught help. This admission was made after about a month of me completely shutting him out.. He entered himsel...

bszab · bszab

Hello. I am new here, but not new to Al Anon. Aside from being an alcoholic, my Father is very, very ill. I honestly do not know how is body is even functioning. He looks so sick. Every day I wonder if I will get "the call". I even have a hard time talking to him on the phone. He is really out of contr...

Rebecca 31003 · Rebecca 31003

Greetings, You wil have to pardon me but I do not know all the acronyms for this forum as I am very new to understanding addiction and this forum. In fact this is my first outreach I guess you could say. My Husband is recovering from Achoholism and addiction to opiets. I am deeply in love with my husband...

Mattie · Mattie

The current issue of the New Yorker has an interesting article on alcohol by Malcolm Gladwell (author of The Tipping Point, etc.) He talks about evidence for what alcohol really does. People have considered it a drug that lowers your inhibitions, but some researchers think that what it really doe...

pineapple · pineapple

Ok, I know what I'm supposed to do in this situation and that's NOTHING. Mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, etc. But some days it's just so dang hard! That's why I'm posting here. I am so angry at my A. I'm so tired of doing almost everything around here by myself. Yes, some things can be let go if he d...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF is in recovery and we chat about the programme sometimes. He has started to identify how sick other people are in his family etc. It is lovely to watch him grow although I am keeping the focus on my recovery as I have so much work to do myself. Here is a good example. Before the A I was married for 1...

maire rua · maire rua

I certainly hate having to put up with the tantrums that A's have when someone says no to them, at the moment I am curing my new stove which means burning all the black wax and excess polish off, all doors and windows are open as this is a process. A wanted to use a wire brush on new stove, categorically told h...

Codependent · Codependent

What does ESH stand for?

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I am married to a dry drunk who acts like a total jerk most of the time. Note to the alanon police, LOL, I didn't call him a jerk, I said he "ACTS" like a jerk most of the time, LOL. Anyway, LOL... I have adjusted, detached, and moved on emotionally for the most part, but at times his behavior is...

bszab · bszab

Yesterday for the first time in 17 years...I got the brunt of my A Father's anger. I know that I am not "exempt" from the anger. It's just that I haven't been one of his targets for a very long time. There were 12 years where we had no contact in between there. Anyways, I am really trying to set bou...

lindseymommyof2 · lindseymommyof2

How do you stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? My fiance is a functional alcoholic, has 4 DWI's, three were before we met which we have been together 4 years...he got the fourth when my youngest was 2 months old and my oldest was 17 months..we were out of town and he got wasted rolled his truck. He dri...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

All of the stresses are finally getting to me. The major one is financial. I don't even want to begin to think how we're going to handle all our financial problems when AH gets out of jail - the way it looks now, it's going to take YEARS to get back on track. Anyway, I find myself taking a lot of this out on m...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hello family, I haven't posted in a while. Lots of things going on. A revelation of sorts has happened to me. I have spent alot of time in the last few months putting my focus on the ex. One thing I noticed is I go to fantasy land. Watching my thoughts I find while in this state, my thoughts are always on...

Bluelady · Bluelady

I get what everyone is saying about enabling and I don't want too do that. My question is, it is very cold out, she has no place too live, she has a job but the money is all gone. If I give her money to live how can that be wrong? How can I say well you are on your own. Her husband is gone and I know in my heart he is not...

Bluelady · Bluelady

Some time ago I came into this group because I had found out my daughter was drinking. Since then she went to treatment and I prayed her life would get on track. Last night I found she is drinking again and her husband has left her. I can't say I blame him and I believe nothing she says.The fact is though she i...

glad · glad

She caught me off gaurd. Our cell phones are missing or broken for about a week now. Due t the snow my ABF called his mother from the house phone to check in last night. Well first thing this morning she calls to ask if he went to work today and that her power is off. Well without thinking I gave her his work num...

Codependent · Codependent

Tonight I was watching this special on CNN. It just came on while I was on the treadmill at the gym. It was about how cheap and easy it is to get pain pills in Florida and how people can even track them to places like Kentucky and Tennessee for large profits. My mind instantly went to why the A wanted to go t...

Gypsy_Phisch · Gypsy_Phisch

So I posted here a while back about my dilemma with getting my brother out of my house. I had set a deadline of February 5th for him to be moved out. Being the good little sister that I try to be, February 5th came and went and I wouldn't put him out on his ear because he had not received his last paycheck from...

Rainie · Rainie

Hi, I am new to this site so I thought I would share a little about me. I was raised in an alcoholic home. Mum was quite functional, went to work during the week, got smashed on the weekends and that was the "norm". I married an alcoholic when I was 21, divorced him when I was 30. During the end of t...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), Just wanted to give a GREAT BIG SHOUT OUT thank you to Canadian Guy. His offer of Toby Rice Drews' book was a wonderful help to a dear friend. I got her the book Getting Them Sober. She was a little intimated by Alanon. But after reading her book she understood what was going on wit...

Codependent · Codependent

It seems that many of us on this site try to be friends with our exes. Just questioning the wisdom of those choices and how that works out for everyone....?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

My ex AH is stuck in Wilmington, NC with nowhere to go, can't get into any recovery houses he says. It's freezing cold and windy here today. He's at the library messaging me saying that he feels like he can't go on. I feel like an evil B!t@# because I won't drop what I'm doing and go help him out yet again....

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

Just wanted to pass it on!! Life can be SO good. Had a home decorating party last night with 10 women and it went great. Can't remember the last time I laughed that long and that hard. Today, I'm just smiling!

miss lucy · miss lucy

today has been a really bad one. emotionally. i have witnessed my AH removing any possessions he had left in his home that we shared and putting them in the Biffa bin not 20 feet from where i live. the temptation to run out and claim anything i wanted to keep was almost too much but i managed to close the c...

RLC · RLC

In the dictionary it states........ "Resentment" can result from a variety of situations involving a perceived wrong. The dictionary also defines "resentment" as a feeling of displeasure of indignation from a feeling of being wronged. From time to time that definition ...

Festfan · Festfan

Hi there MIP support group! I really need your ESH today... Its been 3 days since I broke up with the (ex) ABF. I miss him and am second guessing my decision. I have not contacted him since Friday and he has not contacted me. I want him to at least know that I am thinking of him - but that could have good or ba...

Codependent · Codependent

Found out today that the A left the rehab a couple of days ago. His mom was fuzzy on the details as to why, etc. I just got this strange text from him tonight that said "Got any advice for a new local?" I was picking up my child from his mom's after my church class and showed it to her. She said ma...

Jozie · Jozie

I First want to say THANK YOU to ALL that Responded to my "In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O)" Post... I learned alot of wonderful things & I hope that i can use them to help me move thru this step... I have been at it for a while now, so have decided that till I can get a date with my Sponsor...

miss lucy · miss lucy

this post is aimed mainly at the girls amongst us (sorry boys - no disrespect intended) when i was in therapy i was asked to read Women who love too much by Robin Norwood. Some of you have commented on several of my posts that you wish you had my strength, my hope and my determination to make something out o...

cdngirl · cdngirl

I just got home from my meeting and found AH more drunk than he has been in months. When I walked in the door, he was at the bottom of the stairs, hauling a bag of stuff into the garage. I noticed something on the wall, so I went downstairs and looked at it. He had made a hole in the wall (which we just had pain...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well as most of you know this time of year is hard for me, and I'm working my program hard, but still struggling. Still trusting though that even though this waiting and being still is HARD, that is is what I am meant to be doing. Valentine's Day is approaching, and it makes me think of my first V day with EX...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the ex AH just left about 3 weeks ago after staying with me almost 3 months. I said in the beginning "NEXT" in regard to the new /old girlfriend (knew from childhood and reunited on facebook) and him trying so desperately to find someone to rescue him and save him from himself. Soooo thi...

Ness · Ness

Disease is progressingIve heard today my Ason is up in court next week for trying to break into a chemist shop (looking for diazepam no doubt). He has also broken a bone in his foot trying to kick the door down in another shop (looking for drink) so that will be another court appearance. He is now never sob...

Jozie · Jozie

At Times I have these Ruts that never seem to give up or in... This last 5-7 days have been Super Trying, not so much on my Program... Just everyday (Out of My Control things)... 1st would be the Snow storm that brought close to 36" inches of snow & dropped it in our way...lol... I have shoveled, p...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Why is it that I read all the insightful, inspiring messages here and feel strong and no longer alone and ready to tackle these problems and then get home and get sucked right into my Abf's constant, daily drama? He is a dry drunk that has pretty much broken any feeling I have for him and I've told him so. ...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Help me out on this please. All feedback is welcomed. I'm revisiting an old reaction (Don't react!! LOL my bestest slogan personally given by an early sponsor) to another person's innate practice of power and control. My stomach is flexing and not so that I can create a 6 pack abs condition. Its b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	wdiagw's post got me to thinking (Preview) For those of you who have alcoholic spouses who have done some really disgusting, embarassing things when they are drunk, how do you get past that. I mean really? Peeing in the fridge? Peeing on the tv? My AH has done a lot of things while he's drunk and I just don't see him as the same person anymore - I...	N8SMOM	9	1006	Feb 18, 2010 by White Rabbit
	The significant problems we have created cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at when we created them! (Preview) Some things just jump right out and bite ya bum, I'm not too good with words some people can just write very few and get it right out there, me I have to write essays, but the the thing is, it all takes time to process what it is, I read to understand it fully and then struggle to try and apply it to my life, even...	Katy	8	1169	Feb 18, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Dry Drunk Infidelity...help. (Preview) On Sunday, February 6, I posted a question asking for ESH from those of you who have dealt, successfully, with infidelity by a dry alcoholic. I was very grateful for the 3 very helpful replies. There is one reply, which I wanted to read again because it was so powerful to me. Now it's gone. You know who you...	ElizabethP65	8	4148	Feb 17, 2010 by RoseODAT
	Update (Preview) So I told a friend of mine I gave him 90 days before he would be in jail. He called me from somewhere Thurs and Fri. and he was sleeping w/ ppl for a place to stay. Fun, fun, fun. I got a strange call late Sat. night and sure enough he was in jail. I looked it up online and see he is in til the 22nd. So I thought,...	carolinagirl	3	526	Feb 17, 2010 by Tracy
	Been gone awhile and desperate for help. (Preview) So here's my story. Where I came from, what happened, and where I am today. I am 27 years old and have been married to my husband 5 months, we've been together 5 years. He is a recovering alcoholic. He was drinking and using for the first 2 years of our relationship, and thankfully has 3 years sober and cont...	LeesesPieces	6	1348	Feb 17, 2010 by Tracy
	Here is a little something to pray for. (Preview) HOPE!! Just found out that the state legislature is considering a proposal that all the liquor licensenees in the state have their employees that handle alcohol from the establishment to the drinker be educated on alcohol and the effects it has on drinkers plus a few other twists. I have no idea if t...	Jerry F	14	1413	Feb 17, 2010 by Mandy123
	Prayer Request for mbub (Preview) Good morning fellow members Because I believe so strongly in the power of prayer, I am asking as many who care to to join me in prayer today for mbub. Some of you may know her and others not, she is having treatment today for a tumor in her head. I believe that the more prayers go up the better able HP is able to...	grammie	7	1003	Feb 17, 2010 by Andrea12
	I have to talk to someone; I can't handle this anymore (sorry-long) (Preview) I have to get this off my chest. My husband is an alcoholic. He accepts that he is an alcoholic; he embraces the fact that he is an alcoholic; he brags to buddies about how much he drinks. He doesn't think he is doing anything wrong because he still gets up in the morning and goes to work every day. His ac...	wdiagw	12	1295	Feb 17, 2010 by Andrea12
	What a good weekend (Preview) I had a great weekend full of recovery. It was our annual round up here. I hadn't been in a couple of years. This year it was gently suggested that I go. For me. I have missed it so. The speakers, the fellowship. Seeing friends who I haven't seen in years in some cases. Just the love. So, I went. The speakers w...	freeagain	6	867	Feb 17, 2010 by supermom
	Step Work on MIP??? (Preview) Hello Family, So I have had this idea rolling around in my head for quite some time. I am getting ready to do my second round of the steps with my sponsor. I have always had this urge to really get into some deep discussions here with my MIP family regarding the steps and learn what the people I spend so muc...	tlcate	12	862	Feb 17, 2010 by Iamhere
	I have to do this (Preview) Since I found this site I've learned so much. Mostly to take care of me first which includes learning to detach from my AH. I've quit nagging him about his drinking, I don't yell at him or argue about the help I don't get from him. I don't try to make him eat, shower or do anything else. I've let him be even whe...	pineapple	13	1065	Feb 16, 2010 by Iamhere
	Valentines Day (Preview) This has been talked about on this board before but it is now imminent and I am feeling increaslingly sad. AH and I met on Valentine's day 40 years ago. He gatecrashed a party I held with fellow flatmates. I got talking to him at the end of the evening, he asked me out and the rest, as they say, is history. We h...	Tattyhead	12	644	Feb 16, 2010 by carolinagirl
	12 Steps of Pre-Program (Preview) Hi folks.....a friend sent this to me, I like it......... thought you might too. Don't know the original source.........maybe you will. 1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us. 2. Came to believe there was...	Ness	5	846	Feb 16, 2010 by Festfan
	Why Do People Think They Are All Above It? (Preview) I am the mother of an addicted adult son. I love my son very much and someday I hope he will love himself also. I cringe when I hear people giving their opinion on addicts and what should be done about them. "They (addicts) should be put into prison with the key thrown away", I would never put up...	DreamsOver	13	1061	Feb 15, 2010 by barisax
	NEW * Addiction to oxycontin, what do I do? (Preview) Where do I begin? It has been hectic past couple of weeks and not being able to get here hasn't helped. The first trauma/drama was husband having chest pains and being admitted to the hospital and getting a 2nd stint put in his heart. He had a blockage of over 93% in his artery. They said it was so close that...	wildthang86	7	2808	Feb 15, 2010 by barisax
	is this to good to be true? (Preview) Okay, so I confronted my A Fiance, who has been drinking off and on since I met him. The only reason he stopped in the past was his DUI..SO-little background- He's got 4 DUI's went to treatment, 6 times I think. He at first said, no way I am not going to quit blah blah...then the next day(which was yesterd...	lindseymommyof2	9	898	Feb 15, 2010 by abbyal
	The changing tide in my recovery (Preview) Family, I came across the following, which I wrote back in July 2008 [how time flies] and thought it worth posting again as I have kept it safe to happen upon it again someday. That someday is today: "Gratitude leads to humility - so I am told, and if that is the case then I need to make sure that my humi...	Suzannah	2	878	Feb 15, 2010 by hotrod
	had an awful fright! (Preview) am back! been at AH's side for the past two days, nursing him back to health. oh yes! despite him wrecking the former marital home and destroying a lot of my possessions, and despite my being resolute that i could see no future for us, when he text me in the middle of the night saying he was really ill...	miss lucy	8	1003	Feb 15, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Snow In Alabama ??? (Preview) Family, It doesn't snow in Alabama very often, but it is as I post. For those of you who are not aware, just the mention of snow in our forecast causes a stampede of grocery shoppers that wipe out every loaf of bread and every gallon of milk available while the rest of the world laughs at us. We treat 2&q...	RLC	8	1001	Feb 15, 2010 by Karilynn
	Have A Wonderful Valentines Day (Preview) (((((Hello my Friends)))))). First of all Happy Valentines Day to all of you young at heart out there...and for those of you are still couples may you treasure these simple things in life....a card...a hug or even a happy valentines day wish from the one you love....... I have been having some sad mome...	Andrea12	5	796	Feb 14, 2010 by hotrod
	Another little Gem that spoke right to my heart! (Preview) We do what it is that we think we not ought to hoping that we will get what it is that isn't possible! Curtesy of our very own Jerry F, ya just gotta love him to bit's, I do mwah x Katyx	Katy	2	791	Feb 14, 2010 by hotrod
	Help with 3 C's (Preview) One of the three C's, anyway. Hi. I'm new, sponsorless, and hoping for a little guidance. I think I've got the "can't control it" and "can't cure it." It's just a matter of making it habitual in my day-to-day life. I'm having trouble, however, with the "didn't cause it.&qu...	vlc	11	3574	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	I took another small step for me.... (Preview) First of all, thank you to everyone who offers ESH to me whenever I post, I take what I need and remember it when I'm going through things. I am so happy to have found this site, it keeps me grounded in between F2F meetings. My step.... tonight my Abf told me that he loves me. He had therapy today and appar...	lizzakiss	3	596	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	Where we are today (Preview) My daughter is going to treatment again. Her husband said they can talk with no promises on what thier future will be. I did go too the al-anon meeting here last night. To my surprise I am not alone. Our stories are different yet all the same. I could have written most of the posts others did. Last night I ju...	Bluelady	10	956	Feb 14, 2010 by maresie
	I'm doubting my actions (Preview) I've been in the al-anon program for seven months now and I had been told to try and hold off on any major decisions for the first year. Seven months ago my AH finally admitted he had a problem and saught help. This admission was made after about a month of me completely shutting him out.. He entered himsel...	malady	6	922	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	New here.... (Preview) Hello. I am new here, but not new to Al Anon. Aside from being an alcoholic, my Father is very, very ill. I honestly do not know how is body is even functioning. He looks so sick. Every day I wonder if I will get "the call". I even have a hard time talking to him on the phone. He is really out of contr...	bszab	9	814	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	Trust (Preview) Greetings, You wil have to pardon me but I do not know all the acronyms for this forum as I am very new to understanding addiction and this forum. In fact this is my first outreach I guess you could say. My Husband is recovering from Achoholism and addiction to opiets. I am deeply in love with my husband...	Rebecca 31003	9	944	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	New Yorker article on alcohol (Preview) The current issue of the New Yorker has an interesting article on alcohol by Malcolm Gladwell (author of The Tipping Point, etc.) He talks about evidence for what alcohol really does. People have considered it a drug that lowers your inhibitions, but some researchers think that what it really doe...	Mattie	2	908	Feb 14, 2010 by maresie
	Rant (Preview) Ok, I know what I'm supposed to do in this situation and that's NOTHING. Mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, etc. But some days it's just so dang hard! That's why I'm posting here. I am so angry at my A. I'm so tired of doing almost everything around here by myself. Yes, some things can be let go if he d...	pineapple	4	582	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	hooks (Preview) My ABF is in recovery and we chat about the programme sometimes. He has started to identify how sick other people are in his family etc. It is lovely to watch him grow although I am keeping the focus on my recovery as I have so much work to do myself. Here is a good example. Before the A I was married for 1...	Tracy	3	1237	Feb 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	Irritability (Preview) I certainly hate having to put up with the tantrums that A's have when someone says no to them, at the moment I am curing my new stove which means burning all the black wax and excess polish off, all doors and windows are open as this is a process. A wanted to use a wire brush on new stove, categorically told h...	maire rua	4	948	Feb 14, 2010 by Andrea12
	ESH (Preview) What does ESH stand for?	Codependent	3	841	Feb 14, 2010 by TwistedServant
	A ME Day! (Preview) I am married to a dry drunk who acts like a total jerk most of the time. Note to the alanon police, LOL, I didn't call him a jerk, I said he "ACTS" like a jerk most of the time, LOL. Anyway, LOL... I have adjusted, detached, and moved on emotionally for the most part, but at times his behavior is...	MaryPoppins	7	554	Feb 13, 2010 by TwistedServant
	Where and how to draw the line (Preview) Yesterday for the first time in 17 years...I got the brunt of my A Father's anger. I know that I am not "exempt" from the anger. It's just that I haven't been one of his targets for a very long time. There were 12 years where we had no contact in between there. Anyways, I am really trying to set bou...	bszab	4	922	Feb 13, 2010 by TwistedServant
	falling out of love (Preview) How do you stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? My fiance is a functional alcoholic, has 4 DWI's, three were before we met which we have been together 4 years...he got the fourth when my youngest was 2 months old and my oldest was 17 months..we were out of town and he got wasted rolled his truck. He dri...	lindseymommyof2	6	1606	Feb 13, 2010 by lindseymommyof2
	Stress (Preview) All of the stresses are finally getting to me. The major one is financial. I don't even want to begin to think how we're going to handle all our financial problems when AH gets out of jail - the way it looks now, it's going to take YEARS to get back on track. Anyway, I find myself taking a lot of this out on m...	N8SMOM	7	534	Feb 13, 2010 by Iamhere
	A bit of an update (Preview) Hello family, I haven't posted in a while. Lots of things going on. A revelation of sorts has happened to me. I have spent alot of time in the last few months putting my focus on the ex. One thing I noticed is I go to fantasy land. Watching my thoughts I find while in this state, my thoughts are always on...	fishinmama	2	578	Feb 13, 2010 by tlcate
	What I don't understand (Preview) I get what everyone is saying about enabling and I don't want too do that. My question is, it is very cold out, she has no place too live, she has a job but the money is all gone. If I give her money to live how can that be wrong? How can I say well you are on your own. Her husband is gone and I know in my heart he is not...	Bluelady	12	1369	Feb 13, 2010 by Diva
	I just need too talk (Preview) Some time ago I came into this group because I had found out my daughter was drinking. Since then she went to treatment and I prayed her life would get on track. Last night I found she is drinking again and her husband has left her. I can't say I blame him and I believe nothing she says.The fact is though she i...	Bluelady	8	1300	Feb 12, 2010 by maresie
	Immediate help needed please (Preview) She caught me off gaurd. Our cell phones are missing or broken for about a week now. Due t the snow my ABF called his mother from the house phone to check in last night. Well first thing this morning she calls to ask if he went to work today and that her power is off. Well without thinking I gave her his work num...	glad	7	978	Feb 12, 2010 by maresie
	Momentary Weakness (Preview) Tonight I was watching this special on CNN. It just came on while I was on the treadmill at the gym. It was about how cheap and easy it is to get pain pills in Florida and how people can even track them to places like Kentucky and Tennessee for large profits. My mind instantly went to why the A wanted to go t...	Codependent	6	1569	Feb 12, 2010 by Charlie
	Reality is sometimes quite nauseating (Preview) So I posted here a while back about my dilemma with getting my brother out of my house. I had set a deadline of February 5th for him to be moved out. Being the good little sister that I try to be, February 5th came and went and I wouldn't put him out on his ear because he had not received his last paycheck from...	Gypsy_Phisch	5	729	Feb 12, 2010 by Charlie
	How Do You Know? (Preview) Hi, I am new to this site so I thought I would share a little about me. I was raised in an alcoholic home. Mum was quite functional, went to work during the week, got smashed on the weekends and that was the "norm". I married an alcoholic when I was 21, divorced him when I was 30. During the end of t...	Rainie	6	724	Feb 12, 2010 by Festfan
	Thank you Canadian Guy! (Preview) ((((((Family)))), Just wanted to give a GREAT BIG SHOUT OUT thank you to Canadian Guy. His offer of Toby Rice Drews' book was a wonderful help to a dear friend. I got her the book Getting Them Sober. She was a little intimated by Alanon. But after reading her book she understood what was going on wit...	Karilynn	3	895	Feb 11, 2010 by Christy
	Friends (Preview) It seems that many of us on this site try to be friends with our exes. Just questioning the wisdom of those choices and how that works out for everyone....?	Codependent	4	829	Feb 11, 2010 by lizzakiss
	Moral Support (Preview) My ex AH is stuck in Wilmington, NC with nowhere to go, can't get into any recovery houses he says. It's freezing cold and windy here today. He's at the library messaging me saying that he feels like he can't go on. I feel like an evil B!t@# because I won't drop what I'm doing and go help him out yet again....	carolinagirl	8	879	Feb 11, 2010 by maire rua
	I feel good today (Preview) Just wanted to pass it on!! Life can be SO good. Had a home decorating party last night with 10 women and it went great. Can't remember the last time I laughed that long and that hard. Today, I'm just smiling!	Sweet Stanley	4	584	Feb 11, 2010 by Wolfie
	Reality has kicked home today (Preview) today has been a really bad one. emotionally. i have witnessed my AH removing any possessions he had left in his home that we shared and putting them in the Biffa bin not 20 feet from where i live. the temptation to run out and claim anything i wanted to keep was almost too much but i managed to close the c...	miss lucy	7	867	Feb 11, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Resentments !!! (Preview) In the dictionary it states........ "Resentment" can result from a variety of situations involving a perceived wrong. The dictionary also defines "resentment" as a feeling of displeasure of indignation from a feeling of being wronged. From time to time that definition ...	RLC	6	1772	Feb 11, 2010 by kitty
	Breaking Up is Hard to do... (Preview) Hi there MIP support group! I really need your ESH today... Its been 3 days since I broke up with the (ex) ABF. I miss him and am second guessing my decision. I have not contacted him since Friday and he has not contacted me. I want him to at least know that I am thinking of him - but that could have good or ba...	Festfan	6	1054	Feb 11, 2010 by Festfan
	He left rehab.. (Preview) Found out today that the A left the rehab a couple of days ago. His mom was fuzzy on the details as to why, etc. I just got this strange text from him tonight that said "Got any advice for a new local?" I was picking up my child from his mom's after my church class and showed it to her. She said ma...	Codependent	6	802	Feb 10, 2010 by Iamhere
	Grateful.... (Preview) I First want to say THANK YOU to ALL that Responded to my "In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O)" Post... I learned alot of wonderful things & I hope that i can use them to help me move thru this step... I have been at it for a while now, so have decided that till I can get a date with my Sponsor...	Jozie	3	561	Feb 10, 2010 by hotrod
	Girls please read this book (Preview) this post is aimed mainly at the girls amongst us (sorry boys - no disrespect intended) when i was in therapy i was asked to read Women who love too much by Robin Norwood. Some of you have commented on several of my posts that you wish you had my strength, my hope and my determination to make something out o...	miss lucy	7	951	Feb 10, 2010 by glad lee
	How to deal with this? (Preview) I just got home from my meeting and found AH more drunk than he has been in months. When I walked in the door, he was at the bottom of the stairs, hauling a bag of stuff into the garage. I noticed something on the wall, so I went downstairs and looked at it. He had made a hole in the wall (which we just had pain...	cdngirl	5	1247	Feb 10, 2010 by canadianguy
	Reflecting on Valentine's Day-I hate it! (Preview) Well as most of you know this time of year is hard for me, and I'm working my program hard, but still struggling. Still trusting though that even though this waiting and being still is HARD, that is is what I am meant to be doing. Valentine's Day is approaching, and it makes me think of my first V day with EX...	shellyj123	2	820	Feb 10, 2010 by kitty
	The AH is coming back (LONG) (Preview) So the ex AH just left about 3 weeks ago after staying with me almost 3 months. I said in the beginning "NEXT" in regard to the new /old girlfriend (knew from childhood and reunited on facebook) and him trying so desperately to find someone to rescue him and save him from himself. Soooo thi...	carolinagirl	5	596	Feb 10, 2010 by carolinagirl
	and so the disease progresses (Preview) Disease is progressingIve heard today my Ason is up in court next week for trying to break into a chemist shop (looking for diazepam no doubt). He has also broken a bone in his foot trying to kick the door down in another shop (looking for drink) so that will be another court appearance. He is now never sob...	Ness	4	912	Feb 10, 2010 by Ness
	In Need Of Sunshine & ESH Please :O) (Preview) At Times I have these Ruts that never seem to give up or in... This last 5-7 days have been Super Trying, not so much on my Program... Just everyday (Out of My Control things)... 1st would be the Snow storm that brought close to 36" inches of snow & dropped it in our way...lol... I have shoveled, p...	Jozie	7	842	Feb 10, 2010 by Christy
	Why? (Preview) Why is it that I read all the insightful, inspiring messages here and feel strong and no longer alone and ready to tackle these problems and then get home and get sucked right into my Abf's constant, daily drama? He is a dry drunk that has pretty much broken any feeling I have for him and I've told him so. ...	lizzakiss	4	820	Feb 10, 2010 by Jerry F
	Power and Control... (Preview) Help me out on this please. All feedback is welcomed. I'm revisiting an old reaction (Don't react!! LOL my bestest slogan personally given by an early sponsor) to another person's innate practice of power and control. My stomach is flexing and not so that I can create a 6 pack abs condition. Its b...	Jerry F	15	1112	Feb 10, 2010 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.