The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ABF is in recovery and we chat about the programme sometimes. He has started to identify how sick other people are in his family etc. It is lovely to watch him grow although I am keeping the focus on my recovery as I have so much work to do myself. Here is a good example. Before the A I was married for 17 years to a man who had a compulsion to gamble, I lost my home everything. We seperated and god love him his disese has progressed rapidly. He lives in another city after fleeing , has no contact with family. He is in and out of hospital, hs lost his job etc etc. All the things we see alcoholism do. He has not had much contact with our kids. My sone 16 has not spoken to him for 4 years our daughter 13 is starting to switch off as he never rings etc. He rang today said he has been in prison I understand his illness today. I told him I am on a programme he said he needs to get on one. I found myself worrying about him when I got off the phone. But I am getting better alarms bells started to ring its a hook to my illness. I can not save him. I am trying to hand all this over to HP. only he can help my ex. When my A came in told him what happened he said the prison my ex hub mentioned is a youth affending institute. Just another person with a crazy illness I can not trust. I am worried about my daughter her dads illness is affecting her. He is going to ring her later it is as if she has taken my place. I went on the net and their are Gamanon meeting locally but I am not sure if she is old enough. So I have to talk to her about dads illness. tell her he is sick. At least I know their are meetings for when she is older. Also my sponsor suggested getting Al ateen literature and tell my daughter to change the word drinker to gambler. She is sitting here now waiting forhim to call he has not for months and it looks like she is going to be dissapointed again.
I can so relate......dear friend I think it is a wise thing to talk to your daughter...I can remember my daughter going to home coming and crying for her dad...it was horrible....he was on the streets getting hi....
My heart aches for any child who has to grow up with the disease of addiction...it is just straight hell...not another word for it.
All you can do is be there for her.....love her and hope she will attend alateen my kids would not....
I agree. Children should know the truth. And not just that Dad (or Mom if that's the case) is a drinker, an addict, a gambler whatever, but that it IS a disease and its a disease that makes the sufferer virtually incapable of expressing love or taking responsibility. A's all suffer from an obsession of the mind, a thought so powerful it blocks out all thoughts of love, responsibility, duty, honor, respect. The only thing that matters is the next drink, the next drug, the next set of swinging bells. And as true as that is and as strange as it all sounds, if he finds recovery, he may very well do a complete about-face and become the man he once was. There is always hope it will work out. And there is always hope that even if he never finds his way home, that both you and your children can find contentment and happiness through Al-anon and Alateen.
Great that you are using your support system and that interestingly your recovering alcoholic is a part of the support. Dual or multi 12step program families have always interested me for the power they have to live life on life's terms and to help others.
Awesome. Thanks and (((((hugs)))))
If your daughter and son get to participate in the program they will also come to understand. My years with Alateen exposed a bit of jealousy I had because they recovered quicker than adults when using the program.
