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Learning so much from this board
(Preview)
I have come to this board and have written a couple of posts since finding my AH drunk after being sober for nearly 5 months. I appreciate the replies, the knowledge, the wisdom and getting to the core of me and my unhealthy ways that have developed from living with him. Thank you, thank you. I am readin...
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wifeofalcoholic
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6
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514
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We talked last night
(Preview)
My exAH/bf contacted me yesterday morning to find out how the kids were and to see if we were on the "off and off". I told him I thought we needed to talk. So he came over last night after he got off of work. I went into this conversation thinking we were definately going to end things. I had ac...
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QOD
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6
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710
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My journey through gratitude with changing attitudes
(Preview)
Gratitude for me at the moment in turn has given me the power to let it begin with me. For me that means I can share my experience and strength that I have gained through praticing al-anon slogans, trusting and sharing at meetings with friends/sponsor in my every day life which in fact is rewarding for ev...
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chezza
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3
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783
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"The Triangle Effect"
(Preview)
A lady in my Tuesday f2f Group gave an anology I had never heard before. But, it really hit home with me. She said she told her A husband that they suffered from "The Triangle Effect"----She loved him---- He loved Alcohol----And Alcohol didn't love either one of them. I don't think anyone co...
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RLC
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3
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1120
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what tools have you swapped in your tool box?
(Preview)
I had a microscope I swapped for a mirror! Rose tinted glasses, I swapped for varifocals! a broken record I swapped for an hearing aid! a callculator I kept but instead of adding up the defcit's I started adding up the credit! bricks I swapped for barriers! there must be tons more, your turn! Katyx
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Katy
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4
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516
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and lost...
(Preview)
I've come to this board because I need support and advice. I feel lost and have no clue what to do. My BF and I have been together for about 4 months now but we've known each other for 16 years and he's been an alcoholic since the age of 12. We were best friends first and then we started dating on and off through...
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LinnieLee
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9
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618
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driving
(Preview)
Hello I am new to Al-anon, and I'm having a problem with the detachment theory in one area, and that is drinking and driving. It does not make common sense to me to let someone get in a car if they are drunk. Is this supposed to make him suffer consequences and teach him a lesson? How about the fact that he cou...
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joanlee
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5
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615
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A Good Day!
(Preview)
I have sole custody of my three kids, and the day-to-day stuff is all mine: meals, homework, baths, bedtime, laundry, etc. Visits with Dad are always playtime - he has none of the responsibility of parenting, just the fun stuff. (I'm stating a fact here; but I wouldn't change places for him for a...
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lmw
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4
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627
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Responsibility for ME and my quality of life...
(Preview)
One of the things my seminar stressed this weekend and that really helped pull me out of my self pity, was the idea that I must take responsibility for my future. There is a pay-off when I remain in self-pity - there is no risk and I believe that I am somehow hedging against future pain. Yesterday and this m...
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RunnerChick
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7
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829
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I wrote a letter...
(Preview)
I am finally to the point that I want to ask my ex-Abf to not contact me for at least a month. I probably should ask for more but that's what I can start with. I wrote a letter earlier trying to explain how I feel and how I have a hard time telling others how I really feel...but I am trying to now. And that I need...
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speck31
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3
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470
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Still no word
(Preview)
I have not heard from my exAH/bf since the last Thursday texting wars. Well, actually he did text me on Saturday to see if I had his birth certificate. I don't and I have let him know that in the past. I have no clue what he needs it for, it cannot be good but I just don't give a rip. I have actualy enjoyed som...
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QOD
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5
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537
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Help!
(Preview)
I am a recovery alcoholic with a lot of time in recovery. I've also spent 3 1/2 years in alanon following a difficult marriage to a non-recovering alcoholic. I'm currently in a terrific relationship with a wonderful man with just a little more sobriety than I have. The difficulty for us is his 26-ye...
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late4kay
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5
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711
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Hello everyone, Im back!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Im back, I was invited back and am grateful and appreciate the invite. When I left I was in a very ugly place and want to apologize if I offended anyone or caused any dis unity. Im here to get encouraged and to give any encouragement when I can. I feel my experiences can help another family al-a...
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Bettina
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4
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614
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Just thoughts!
(Preview)
It's been a bit of a time here lately, at christmas I caught swine flu gave it to my husband, and that caused him to have acute liver failure, his buisiness is struggling in this ressesion, and then his mother passed away suddenly,so this week we had the funeral, my husband is in recovery and after the fun...
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Katy
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2
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473
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Calling All Oldtimers Need Help Tonight! AT Meeting
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Tonight is our Step Tradition Meeting, We are on Tradition 10 tonight. We have had a hard time in these meetings getting people to share on these topics because there are more newcomers and they dont share on these topics. The meetings are usually ended early. I am asking for the help of...
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kerry5
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4
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603
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Hello
(Preview)
This is my 1st post here. Wasn't sure if I really belonged here, but after doing some reading here, I do. I have been married to my AH for 21 years, not always too happily because of his drinking. I have left him twice both within the first 5 yrs. Only for a few days. I almost divorced him in 2003 because he...
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mom25
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3
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507
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boundaries
(Preview)
I have been thinking about what to do with my A son for quite some time now. The other morning I woke up early and I had somehow made a decision in my sleep (answer from HP) that he needs to go, sober or not, for my own sanity. Now, he really doesn't give me any grief but I just cannot continue watching him go dow...
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Gailey
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5
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759
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dont know if this belongs here i need to rant
(Preview)
not sure if this belongs here. my husband has not drunk since his last bout..... not going there atm. but ihave a father figure, a very close relative who will not stop over eating. he also smokes, has diabetes now, high blood pressure and is obese, i would say morbidly obese. hes waiting for a stomach st...
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Slugcat
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10
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948
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New Here, hello
(Preview)
I am just starting with accepting that I need Al-Anon support. I have been married almost 3 years and with my AH for almost 5 years. He is out tonight. His phone is off and I am not anxious. I have no control over his usage or binge. I feel like I can only keep myself and our children safe. I can only pray for him...
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Panda5
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4
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821
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Gave my final ultimatumn
(Preview)
I have had it with AH. He was on a bender for the better part of last week, after we had what I thought was a very deep connection a few days prior. I did well not saying anything to him, I worked hard to let it go(wasn't easy) and on Saturday he mislead me as to what he was doing and I thought he was going to be ho...
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MapleMom
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6
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611
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the straw that broke the camel's back!
(Preview)
i knew in my own mind that my marriage to AH was almost definitely over - i just didnt think the ending of it would have been quite so unpleasant. AH and i have been living apart since January and i had given him an ultimatum that if he hadnt sorted himself out by August (my birthday) then our marriage was ove...
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miss lucy
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8
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757
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New here, revisiting the Al anon life.
(Preview)
Hi! Short intro, I had a flirtation with Al-Anon 2 years ago when I was having trouble dealing with others bad habits. Turns out i felt that I had some of my own. Too immature. I didn't know myself. Then I hit a spiral that involved a guy who i thought I loved...and a best friend who dumped her fiance and...
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BetterLife
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5
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745
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PERCEPTION!
(Preview)
Jeez I thought it meant deception! like I thought humility was humiliation! and I often wondered why my husband could talk the talk and not walk the walk, but now I tend to rely on ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER TO ME THAN WORDS! Jerry F, if you had of adopted me earlier I would of been ok sooner? Katyx that you came in...
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Katy
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1
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543
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RecoverySpeakers.org
(Preview)
them.http://www.recoveryspeakers.org/Home/FileCatalog.aspx?SearchText=alanon
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roygbiv
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3
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2116
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Humility
(Preview)
I am chairing a meeting on Humility tomorrow night, so I want everyone's input on where their humility in Al-Anon came from. What humbled you?
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Tulsa4604
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6
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1763
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Hello All I'm new to this.
(Preview)
Hello All, I'm new to this. My therapist suggested I check out Al-anon meetings or ACOA meetings. I found an al-anon meeting in my area, I've gone a couple of times, but I'm a bit lost. I mostly just sit in the back and listen because I don't really get what is going on, some things that people say I can relat...
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FreudinSlip
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7
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950
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Introducing myself
(Preview)
Hi Everyone!I am a doctor that specializes in drug addiction/alcoholism. I am committed to helping family members who have a loved on with an addiction. It's a tough disease that destroys a lot of families so I try to help people in many different ways.Thanks
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addictiondoc
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9
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573
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New & Want to Say Glad to Be Here
(Preview)
Hi! I'm new to this board. Just wanted to put a quick shout out that I'm glad to find y'all. It will be nice to have a supplement to my f2f meeting. Looking forward to being blessed with lots of ES&H! Thanx-Skootr
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skootr73
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5
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543
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Which is Worse?
(Preview)
Which is worse? Wondering where your drunk husband is for an entire week while he's on a bender and then having to take him to the hospital when he can't stop....about twice a year..... Or.....having to send your kids off with him and his new girlfriend every Saturday and soon every other weekend for t...
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sdisnie
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6
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630
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So Angry With Crisis Center
(Preview)
So today, AH had huge melt down resulting in relapsing after 4 days of sobriety. He got two guns and brought them to bed with him., I called 911. I managed to remove the guns from his possession and locked all weapons in my car. The sheriff's officer spoke with him and he admitted to wanting to hurt himsel...
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Acatnip
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11
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698
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ESH needed to deal with AexBF
(Preview)
Hello friends at MIP, Wow, I am really seeking ESH today. I haven't posted in a while, but I have been keeping up on reading. I am struggling with my relationship with my AexBF. I ended our relationship at the beginning of February and had begun to be accustomed to more peace in my life - at least as it re...
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Festfan
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7
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758
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update on daughter
(Preview)
Hello, I just wanted too give you a update on how we are doing. Chris has been sober 1 month. Yesterday she got a promotion at her work, she will get her Masters in a month on got top grade in her mid term. I won't tell you everything is just great but I won't give up on her. We are working on it together. She is ge...
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Bluelady
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3
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744
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One of those days...
(Preview)
So I went to an amazing seminar this weekend that is supposed to "change lives". I got ALOT out of it and I FEEL great, but there is a part of me still wrapped up in the obsession and abandonment I felt in my relationship. It is a complicated one, that's for sure. Today I just feel that familiar tu...
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RunnerChick
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2
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573
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A ha moments!
(Preview)
Doing the same thing's over and over and getting the same results? practice practice practice, it works it really does, light bulb moment, what can I take form that? Well, I have been practicing learning learning learning, and now I am just on the cusp of ok I get that now what? Just do it, ya can't just th...
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Katy
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4
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505
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A sign
(Preview)
A week ago, I was talking to my sponsor about how to pray, what to ask for, etc, as sometimes I feel like I'm doing it wrong because I wasn't getting anything out of it. She suggested to ask God for a sign that he is there for me, guiding me. So I prayed on that the past week. Yesterday, I had a horrendous day...
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cdngirl
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2
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631
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Need help detaching from A's new girlfriend
(Preview)
It's one thing to be able to detach from the ex AH....I can do that a little better....my problem is trying to detach from the new girlfriend who is now in control of his life. For whatever reason she decides to pick up where I left off. My problem with her is I know her, and I know the type of person she is, a...
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sdisnie
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4
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690
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Movie
(Preview)
Hi wondered I live in Englad and would love to watch when love is not enough. I have SKY (digital television) which has about 4 different CBS american channels. I also have to Hallmark channels. Then there is the time differences to consider. not sure if I will b able to get this movie , can you buy it?...
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Tracy
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3
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509
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Apology
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I go by the nick hummer, but use to be sunset. I am just apologizing for the other nite when I was a bit disgruntled over a lady reading her poetry in the chatroom. I just thought that because it was not conference approved literature that it should not have been shared in the chatroom. ...
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Sunset
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6
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656
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Hey Everyone
(Preview)
I'm new to MIP, but not to Al Anon. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone. I think this will be a great addition to my recovery program
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Kiki52
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3
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536
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Do I have to go into hiding?
(Preview)
I am feeling very troubled at the momment. I am 4 weeks from my divorce from my AH being final. But I am not free from the ravages of this awful disease. My AH comes to my house as he pleases, most visits are nasty and unpleasant. He has made so many threats from burning my house down, raping me and promises to...
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bluerose
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13
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679
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For Hotrod
(Preview)
Thank you! You are a lovely, caring person. Gail
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Gailey
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1
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514
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HOW DO I DETACH???
(Preview)
I'll keep this simple. I have been married for 25+ years to a wonderful man who happens to have the disease of alcoholism. He relapses every 3-5 months. He is active in support groups. I can hardly deal with the relapses after a 10 year period of going through this. It is ugly. I have anxiety and ins...
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wifeofalcoholic
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8
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1622
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Desperate for advice!
(Preview)
I'll try to make this as short as possible! My mother is a severe alcoholic, the problem is that she hides it pretty well. Her husband works out of town and is very rarely ever home (he also drinks A LOT). She only really has one friend who also drinks a lot, and who she very rarely sees, so no one really sees h...
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Nicomanti
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9
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1093
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An Early morning lesson from Lois
(Preview)
Hi Family, I just finished reading "When Love is Not Enough - The Lois Wilson Story" this morning. In it mention is made of the Stepping Stones Foundation that was created near the end of her life to provide for, among other things, the preservation of the home she and Bill shared which they c...
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david62
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3
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543
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back in treatment
(Preview)
Well, what a week, last week has been. To make a long story short, I went on vacation with my sister. I knew that my AH was hitting the bottle hard, I didn't know the last time he had been to work, I didn't check and I didn't call him in. I decided that this was it. He is responsible for himself. I spoke with my d...
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Sweet Stanley
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4
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570
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A positive twist on St. Patrick's Day
(Preview)
(((((Family))), With St. Patrick's Day right around the corner, I'd like to offer a suggestion. We all know how hard it can be on all of us - especially with an active A in the house. AS if addicts needed another excuse to drink or drug. (They do it b/c they are addicts.) If things are tough remember th...
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Karilynn
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3
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703
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I just need to post this...
(Preview)
Wow I have sat here for a half an hour looking at the computer screen knowing I want to post but what do I want to say. Daughter took my car on Thursday she has a suspended license for DUI. I called her and she let the call go to voice mail...I left message and she called back..Told her to bring car back and s...
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fishinmama
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7
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796
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Resentment!
(Preview)
I think I can change that feeling now into acceptance and humility, I have carried resentment around with me way to long, and when I looked deep into myself, I thought ermmmmmm it's only me keeping this resentment a live, let it go, and swap it for acceptence and low and behold I feel lighter, light bulb m...
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Katy
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8
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751
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Me learning one day at a time.
(Preview)
So today, I think my lesson for myself is learning to take it one day at a time. AH has his weekly curling game to go to and usually he comes home drunk from this. Since we had our big talk a week ago, things were good and in the past couple of days he has come home after having a couple to last night I know he had...
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MapleMom
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3
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531
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Lois W. story to air on CBS in April
(Preview)
Just heard this recently and wanted to pass along the word... mark your calendars! There will be a hallmark presentation of "Love Is Not Enough: the Lois Wilson Story" starring Winona Ryder to air on sunday, apr 25th, 2010 at 9pm EST on CBS. How's that for alanon going mainstream?! For t...
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breezee
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1
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812
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While here, please read....
(Preview)
Please take a moment or two of your time to read the sticky post title "Message Board Decision Meeting 3/28/10" at the top of this board. Thank you,John
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John
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0
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440
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resentment
(Preview)
Hi,I recently had a resentment with a sponsee. We worked it out and each apologized but now I am experiencing 2 people ion our group that are avoiding eye contact with me. She is friends with these two people, as am I. I want to say something to all parties but am at a loss as to what I would say. I did not go to a...
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sgac
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4
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604
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If I am happy to be out, why does seeing him make me feel crazy?
(Preview)
Hi all So, 7 months ago I left my alcoholic husband. Technically, he threw me and the kids out in one of his nastier tirades when I told him I was leaving. He had been emotionally and verbally abusive for years, preaching how his drunkeness was always my fault, if only i was more this, or less that, or bet...
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elzzap
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5
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577
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liked this and just wanted to share :)
(Preview)
This was sent to me via email....I just had to share it. 'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will...
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fishinmama
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3
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588
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It's been a week !
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that it has been a week since I spoke to my A son. As far as I know he is still in hosiptal and trying to find a sober house to go too. Yesturday was tough alot of tears, and questioning my decision to cut him loose. But I made it through and today is a new day, Does it ge...
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moonchild
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7
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665
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"...Practice these principles in all our affairs"
(Preview)
Aloha Family...this morning while getting ready to park my truck before going to a morning meeting I had an affair!! LOL Don't paint your own picture let me do it. The affair was that while preparing to turn across the on coming lane into the parking stall the person I had an affair with was exercising...
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Jerry F
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4
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1212
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just when everything was going so well.......
(Preview)
i got a call from the doctor today telling me my blood tests have shown a deterioration in my bone density and it looks like i may have osteoporosis. this, two days after being told i need another operation to remove another non cancerous lump!!! that puts my plans back another 3 months! everything,...
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miss lucy
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6
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849
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addicted parent visiting children
(Preview)
I just recently kicked my addicted daughter out of our house which put her four children with their dad full-time. Of course we are still helping with the care. Question, should we allow our addicted daughter refusing treatment to visit the girls age 11, 9 3 & 2?
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mgr
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9
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669
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Lurker in the jungle...
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to Alanon but not the effects of alcohol in my marriage to my AH. Have been reading here and can relate to far too many of the frustrations and sadness and...the list goes on and on. Long story short...I'm tired of it. I know that I cannot change, cure nor control him...and his lying is pissi...
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DragoN
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5
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595
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Feeling sorry for myself
(Preview)
hi guys, mother's day here but not in this house, not a card or wish anywhere in site. I did bring it up and had a meltdown and have cleared all members out of my house, am now making a nice pot of coffee, getting ready to go to a meeting and kind of chuckling to myself as I handed it all over to my hp just about 10 m...
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maire rua
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5
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610
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