Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lindseymommyof2 · lindseymommyof2

Hi- I am just...lost, My Afiance has been dry for 2 months now and this is like a rollercoaster ride! I can't help but have so much anger and try to keep things in when the kids are around. I just don't know how to NOT be angry. I am trying to be happy around him, but it just crumbles-every little thing sets hi...

Acatnip · Acatnip

So I got up this morning, took care of the dogs, grabbed a cup of coffee, made note that 1/2 bottle of vodka missing since late last night and headed back to the guest room I am staying in. AH's dog (who prefers to stay with me when he is drinking) had opened his bedroom door and went in (it was cracked enough...

John · John

Hello Everyone! As indicated at the top of this message board some changes have been made regarding how the message board will be regulated. All future decisions regarding the policies and proceedures related to the Message Board will be voted on by any registered member who wishes to participa...

sdisnie · sdisnie

For you old timers out there....who have since split with their A....can you tell me your story about life after the A....did they change, did they get better...worse...how was your relationship etc.... I just want to hear other stories.... Thanks

lacewing · lacewing

Hello fellow Al-Anoner's! Does anyone know of a website where the Blue Prints for Progress Step 4 book is available online? I am in need of a copy, or a book - if someone has an extra that they are willing to donate to me. I cannot afford a new copy and any that I have found on bid/buy sites, seem to have other...

CJ recovery · CJ recovery

"I married a wonderful man (wife) and he (she) turned into a 'xxxx'." How many of us have experienced that? Most, if not all. Did that person change? Perhaps, but probably not substantially. They still possess the attributes you loved- you just ignored the bad parts (and learned of t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION! I REALLY DO NEED TO DO THE 10TH STEP EVERY DAY! AND ALSO I HAVE A REAL RESENTMENT THAT I AM CURRENTLY DEALING WITH. USUALLY THE FOCUS IS ON ME. I GUESS I JUST NEED TO KEEP THAT FOCUS THERE. THANKS FOR GIVING A HOOT! KATHLEEN

NMW · NMW

Does anybody have any good ideas on how to go places where your ex is without it bothering you?

Destynee · Destynee

Drug addict H has been thrown out of his sober house. I didn't hear from him for 3 days until last night when he calls and says he's killing himself. I called 911 and gave me the last address I had but he had been thrown out. They couldn't find him. He called again and started blaming me for everything, h...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I posted yesterday about feeling angry about the possibility of an upcoming surgery. In the past when I was angry, sad, lonely....pretty much any overwhelming feeling I would turn to food. I would make mashed potatoes (lol I don't know why) and that was the best comfort food. Well I have been wo...

Rora · Rora

I've read your last post about your feelings about your soon to be exA. I've been chewing on it all night. I have had an attitude overhaul by you saying that at one time, the love that the A and you shared was the best of both of your lives. My exaH and I have been "together" for nearly 10 yrs - sep...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Been a while since I have been on here. Just wanted to give an update. Still working, still going to school and looking forward to summer. My ex AH is back in jail and calling me collect on my cell phone 2 or 3 times a day. ANNOYING. I guess because I let him stay for a few months he took that as he has a chan...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

SOMETIMES I FEEL SO SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR THE DECISIONS I MADE IN THE PAST. TODAY I HAD I BAD DAY! I GOT A NAP LIKE I HAD PLANNED BUT STILL FELT AWFUL. I BARKED AT MY HUSBAND. I COMPLAINED ABOUT AA & ALL THE SITUATIONS HE GETS INTO. I BASICALLY GOT INTO HIS BUSINESS & FOR ONCE IT WASN'T ALL ABOUT ME! AT...

kml26385 · kml26385

I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself. I am totally new to al-anon but I am feeling a deep need to learn how to handle the situation I am in. I have been with my alcoholic husband for ten years. He has been sober for four of the ten years. Recently his drinking has escalated to the point where he is d...

Cararuss · Cararuss

I have a friend whose family did an intervention and sent him to rehab. He was in a bad auto accident a few months ago due to alcohol and was recovering but starting to drink again so his family stepped in. He's 40 divorced with 3 kids. I never knew he had a "problem" and was always a laid back swee...

Alyana · Alyana

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=3&topicID=34237870

Gailey · Gailey

What I read in C2C this morning was profound for me. It has really given me food for thought. My mother has the beginning stages of Alzhimer's disease. My son has the disease of Alcoholism. It is very frustrating to be around both of them at times. I love my mother and I love my son. They are my family. Woul...

Acatnip · Acatnip

So I mentioned I am planning to move and have taken steps to get a new place and started a new job. As I sit here studying in the bedroom I moved into to be able to get advanced work and more hours, I hear the familiar banging of AH stuck in the bathroom again. I check on him to find he is on the floor and sauced to t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Al Anon cont. to help me in life. So much of it comes natural now. AH is still in prison, I filed for divorce the end of January. Have done all the paper work and not the court date is April 29,10. Feels great. For me it was the best thing to wait to be ready to do all this. I have no emotion for him at all. No longer...

ythannah · ythannah

I'm recognizing a pattern of emotional unavailability as a common denominator in my past partners, who were both alcoholics and non-alcoholics. Which, of course, mirrors what was familiar to me from my family of origin; seems to be what I'm comfortable with! But I never seem to be able to spot it...

kerry5 · kerry5

Again Tommorow Thursday at 9pm est is our Step/Tradition meeting> We will be on Tradition 12. I ask all oldtimers or some to come and join us and teach our new membes what the traditions mean to us and how we can use them in our lives. I would appeciate it . We need you! Thanks Kerry (aka Kerisha)

BEM · BEM

I think I was on here a couple of years ago but can't remember. I haven't been good about going to meetings and I thought I was doing o.k. - but in real denial. This has been one (very bad) year. We decided to move last year - my choice. So many things to list but summing it up my A cheated on me, got a DWI, and...

pricklypear · pricklypear

So here I am again. Thinking I can fix it.. the neverending substance abuse counselor who is great with her clients. My friend who has been in AA for the last 23 years says "draw the line...tell him to get help or go." Realize I pink slipped this guy two months ago because of suicidal behav...

AGO · AGO

Greetings to the MIP Alanon Board, I started reading here a few years ago when I began studying the effects of codependency in my life, but just read and didn't participate, for various reasons. However I read your (Moonchild) post recently and it tugged my heartstrings, but not being a parent, I felt...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

This week I had an experience that helped me understand how to detach and I wanted to share my ES&H. The Behaviors I learned Growing Up in An Alcoholic Home In the alcoholic family I grew up in, I developed a series of behaviors around crisis or perceived crisis. Whenever there was an upset, I drop...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi, my ex ABF is in a relationship with an abusive AGF. We have been apart for 4 months. This past week I guess I failed and took him in so he could leave the abusive relationship. I put him up at a hotel for a couple of nights until he could find a rental. His AGF abuses him verbally and emotionally when she dr...

Katy · Katy

Please come back, I miss you.Katyx

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I was devasted last year when I found out my husband is a heroine addict and had taken a lethal concoction of drugs and could have killed us all on our roadtrip to Mexico. I had been frustrated with his drug use and exhausted myself in trying to get him clean. He has dabbled with sobriety and a 12step progra...

evaangel · evaangel

I ended our 4 year marriage, 4 months ago, reason because of the violence and I the put downs that I suffered, I was with him for 12 years. My confidence is at a low, I still feel useless, unworthy, will I be ever free of these emotions and feelings. I attend Al anon meetings and find it fantastic, where I fee...

Destynee · Destynee

AH has moved out, happy he was to do it. He's seeing someone. And he lies constantly. Said he moved into a sober house but he didn't. Got an apartment for 485.00 a month with all utilities paid and took the vehicle that's paid off. I'm having such a problem not responding to his lies. Anyway, turns o...

bluebee · bluebee

Hi All, I've been doing some reflecting and I am feeling guilty about being an enabler to my exABF. We live in separate towns, but after our relationship got serious we decided that I would move back to my hometown (where he lives) after I finished my masters to start our lives together. I knew he was goin...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Carol Lynn, Alanon. Tonight's meeting had some wonderful topics and I could relate to all of them. Pain has always been one of the hardest things to cope with, physical or emotional. when I am in pain, that is all I think about. It is all I can do to try to think of others who are also in pain and it seems to m...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This may seem like a strange question - over the years when my AH drinks, it's almost always on a Saturday night. My friends already have plans and there I am in the house getting distressed, isolated and sad. I have called a couple of friends when this has happened and when they are busy, it makes me m...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Well my son got out of jail on the 16th. Judge wanted to put him on house arrest where he would of had to wear a bracelet to monitor him. Son told judge he didn't have the money so judge let him out with restriction to stay in the house. That has not happened. He was out friday and then again yesterday. Bef...

freeagain · freeagain

My kids and I were sitting, waiting at a resturant. The waiter came over and said "Hi, my name is Mike and I am your waiter." My two alateens and I said "Hi Mike." and then waited in anticipation for him to begin his "story" LOL!!! A couple of seconds ticked by before the k...

Kellie Bovarro · Kellie Bovarro

I have been with my husband for almost six years now, we just got married in July and had our son in December. I have known that he's a drinker and that his father died because he was an alcoholic, but I didn't think that things would ever get this bad. My husband is not violant or anything when he's drunk,...

Acatnip · Acatnip

Not here, this has become my shelter from the storm. After another drama filled night that left me out after midnight seeking a hotel room just to get a few hours of much needed sleep, I am done here. I have had more drama in one week than I have had in the last ten years. In one week, it amazes me the things I ha...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while.I actually thought things were improving with my AH. Suprise!I was so happy thinking life is just beginning again and then boom.I come across something strange on my PC.Hmmm what's this ? Some things never change.He's been so sweet and willing to do whate...

bluebee · bluebee

Hi everyone. I am new here and I hope this is the right place for me to share. If not, please let me know. My boyfriend began rehab last week for alcohol addiction. Treatment is 6 months. As a result, he broke up with me. First of all, I was taken aside a bit. I knew he liked to drink a lot (it escalated in the las...

NMW · NMW

I broke up with my abf 4 months ago. Second time around, I thought I could handle it because I loved him. He is a good person. this time around I think the diease progressed. He wasnt' as attentive and somethings got short with me. He seemed angry, sad, depressed, and resentful. He got some bad news about s...

MapleMom · MapleMom

I have had a few very good days. I have spent less time so focused on AH and focusing more on myself and my children. I have started spring cleaning in and around my house, and I must admit over the past year things have slid pretty bad, do to my own back injury last year other crisises, and AH not helping out...

CindyLou · CindyLou

I don't mean, like, what is the definition of it. I know what it is and I know what I am suppose to be doing, but I mean HOW?? HOW do I get to the point where I can? What are some tips and hints....like baby steps where to start????? My husband is an alcoholic. He will not admit it. In fact, he said he loves d...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi everyone. I was just looking for some advice, experience, etc. I'm currently in a relationship with my Abf-sober. Though he hasn't taken a drink in 8 years, he has not been active in his program for the better part of 2 years. He has been sporadically going to meetings for the past 6 months I woul...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting as I have a commitment with my lawyer and will be unable to get back home in time. Hopefully, another OP will be present but if not, it would be good if another member could step-up and chair. Thanks Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

There's so much that I can't give. I'm not talking about things. I am talking about emotions. I think there are 2 primary reasons that I feel like I can't give this to others. The first is because I wasn't given these as a child. The other is because I don't feel like someone people would want love from. I f...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Many of you know that in April 2009 I discovered that all my jewelry had been stolen. It turned out to be the neighbor who helped me when Pipers took sick shortly after Tim passed. Today I received the court papers for an order of protection for both Pipers and I for a year. She's now a co...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey, MIP Family! Here's another update from my life in Limbo. (I'm leaving my AH in May after I graduate college, legal separation, moving in with my best friend in another state, hopefully to go to grad school in a year.) This past weekend I drove to my folk's house and told them about what's been going o...

glad · glad

My higher power has already been so good to me today I have to share. background first- I've been physically emotionally depressed the kind that you know is just bad- the imbalance where I'm pretty sure I'd still feel sad no matter what. Well first blessing is I know it's gonna pass but as I was having a g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM STILL SEARCHING FOR SERENITY & PEACE OF MIND! I STILL; THANKS TO MY HIGHER POWER, HAVE SOME PIECE OF MY MIND! I GUESS I WILL ALWAYS BE SEARCHING; FOR SOMETHING! I HAVE NOT "ARRIVED'' YET & I NEVER WILL. SOMETIMES I AM ON A CONSTANT SEARCH FOR MEANING IN MY LIFE: LIKE WHAT IS MY PURPO...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have come to this board and have written a couple of posts since finding my AH drunk after being sober for nearly 5 months. I appreciate the replies, the knowledge, the wisdom and getting to the core of me and my unhealthy ways that have developed from living with him. Thank you, thank you. I am readin...

QOD · QOD

My exAH/bf contacted me yesterday morning to find out how the kids were and to see if we were on the "off and off". I told him I thought we needed to talk. So he came over last night after he got off of work. I went into this conversation thinking we were definately going to end things. I had ac...

chezza · chezza

Gratitude for me at the moment in turn has given me the power to let it begin with me. For me that means I can share my experience and strength that I have gained through praticing al-anon slogans, trusting and sharing at meetings with friends/sponsor in my every day life which in fact is rewarding for ev...

RLC · RLC

A lady in my Tuesday f2f Group gave an anology I had never heard before. But, it really hit home with me. She said she told her A husband that they suffered from "The Triangle Effect"----She loved him---- He loved Alcohol----And Alcohol didn't love either one of them. I don't think anyone co...

Katy · Katy

I had a microscope I swapped for a mirror! Rose tinted glasses, I swapped for varifocals! a broken record I swapped for an hearing aid! a callculator I kept but instead of adding up the defcit's I started adding up the credit! bricks I swapped for barriers! there must be tons more, your turn! Katyx

LinnieLee · LinnieLee

I've come to this board because I need support and advice. I feel lost and have no clue what to do. My BF and I have been together for about 4 months now but we've known each other for 16 years and he's been an alcoholic since the age of 12. We were best friends first and then we started dating on and off through...

joanlee · joanlee

Hello I am new to Al-anon, and I'm having a problem with the detachment theory in one area, and that is drinking and driving. It does not make common sense to me to let someone get in a car if they are drunk. Is this supposed to make him suffer consequences and teach him a lesson? How about the fact that he cou...

lmw · lmw

I have sole custody of my three kids, and the day-to-day stuff is all mine: meals, homework, baths, bedtime, laundry, etc. Visits with Dad are always playtime - he has none of the responsibility of parenting, just the fun stuff. (I'm stating a fact here; but I wouldn't change places for him for a...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

One of the things my seminar stressed this weekend and that really helped pull me out of my self pity, was the idea that I must take responsibility for my future. There is a pay-off when I remain in self-pity - there is no risk and I believe that I am somehow hedging against future pain. Yesterday and this m...

speck31 · speck31

I am finally to the point that I want to ask my ex-Abf to not contact me for at least a month. I probably should ask for more but that's what I can start with. I wrote a letter earlier trying to explain how I feel and how I have a hard time telling others how I really feel...but I am trying to now. And that I need...

QOD · QOD

I have not heard from my exAH/bf since the last Thursday texting wars. Well, actually he did text me on Saturday to see if I had his birth certificate. I don't and I have let him know that in the past. I have no clue what he needs it for, it cannot be good but I just don't give a rip. I have actualy enjoyed som...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	stuck, angry, question about housing (Preview) Hi- I am just...lost, My Afiance has been dry for 2 months now and this is like a rollercoaster ride! I can't help but have so much anger and try to keep things in when the kids are around. I just don't know how to NOT be angry. I am trying to be happy around him, but it just crumbles-every little thing sets hi...	lindseymommyof2	3	983	Mar 27, 2010 by DreamXL
	Sheriff is here, what a way to start the day (Preview) So I got up this morning, took care of the dogs, grabbed a cup of coffee, made note that 1/2 bottle of vodka missing since late last night and headed back to the guest room I am staying in. AH's dog (who prefers to stay with me when he is drinking) had opened his bedroom door and went in (it was cracked enough...	Acatnip	5	836	Mar 27, 2010 by Acatnip
	Message Board Decision Meeting Sunday March 28th, @ 9pm est. (Preview) Hello Everyone! As indicated at the top of this message board some changes have been made regarding how the message board will be regulated. All future decisions regarding the policies and proceedures related to the Message Board will be voted on by any registered member who wishes to participa...	John	1	754	Mar 26, 2010 by John
	Old Timers...Tell me YOUR story about life after your A (Preview) For you old timers out there....who have since split with their A....can you tell me your story about life after the A....did they change, did they get better...worse...how was your relationship etc.... I just want to hear other stories.... Thanks	sdisnie	10	1480	Mar 26, 2010 by Jennifer
	Help with an Al-Anon Book, Please? (Preview) Hello fellow Al-Anoner's! Does anyone know of a website where the Blue Prints for Progress Step 4 book is available online? I am in need of a copy, or a book - if someone has an extra that they are willing to donate to me. I cannot afford a new copy and any that I have found on bid/buy sites, seem to have other...	lacewing	4	671	Mar 26, 2010 by lacewing
	Detachment for Rachweb (and others) (Preview) "I married a wonderful man (wife) and he (she) turned into a 'xxxx'." How many of us have experienced that? Most, if not all. Did that person change? Perhaps, but probably not substantially. They still possess the attributes you loved- you just ignored the bad parts (and learned of t...	CJ recovery	7	1003	Mar 26, 2010 by rachweb
	JERRY F. (Preview) THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTION! I REALLY DO NEED TO DO THE 10TH STEP EVERY DAY! AND ALSO I HAVE A REAL RESENTMENT THAT I AM CURRENTLY DEALING WITH. USUALLY THE FOCUS IS ON ME. I GUESS I JUST NEED TO KEEP THAT FOCUS THERE. THANKS FOR GIVING A HOOT! KATHLEEN	Hoot Nanny	1	830	Mar 26, 2010 by Jerry F
	Party Saturday Night (Preview) Does anybody have any good ideas on how to go places where your ex is without it bothering you?	NMW	7	930	Mar 26, 2010 by kitty
	Trying so hard to work the program.... (Preview) Drug addict H has been thrown out of his sober house. I didn't hear from him for 3 days until last night when he calls and says he's killing himself. I called 911 and gave me the last address I had but he had been thrown out. They couldn't find him. He called again and started blaming me for everything, h...	Destynee	7	1263	Mar 26, 2010 by kitty
	Changed attitudes can aid recovery.....who knew :) (Preview) Hi all, I posted yesterday about feeling angry about the possibility of an upcoming surgery. In the past when I was angry, sad, lonely....pretty much any overwhelming feeling I would turn to food. I would make mashed potatoes (lol I don't know why) and that was the best comfort food. Well I have been wo...	Mandy123	5	1125	Mar 26, 2010 by maybethistime
	Thank you Debilyn.... (Preview) I've read your last post about your feelings about your soon to be exA. I've been chewing on it all night. I have had an attitude overhaul by you saying that at one time, the love that the A and you shared was the best of both of your lives. My exaH and I have been "together" for nearly 10 yrs - sep...	Rora	4	757	Mar 26, 2010 by NMW
	Update on me (Preview) Been a while since I have been on here. Just wanted to give an update. Still working, still going to school and looking forward to summer. My ex AH is back in jail and calling me collect on my cell phone 2 or 3 times a day. ANNOYING. I guess because I let him stay for a few months he took that as he has a chan...	carolinagirl	4	764	Mar 26, 2010 by ythannah
	I feel so I feel! (Preview) SOMETIMES I FEEL SO SORRY FOR MYSELF FOR THE DECISIONS I MADE IN THE PAST. TODAY I HAD I BAD DAY! I GOT A NAP LIKE I HAD PLANNED BUT STILL FELT AWFUL. I BARKED AT MY HUSBAND. I COMPLAINED ABOUT AA & ALL THE SITUATIONS HE GETS INTO. I BASICALLY GOT INTO HIS BUSINESS & FOR ONCE IT WASN'T ALL ABOUT ME! AT...	Hoot Nanny	1	794	Mar 25, 2010 by Jerry F
	Hello from a newbie. (Preview) I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself. I am totally new to al-anon but I am feeling a deep need to learn how to handle the situation I am in. I have been with my alcoholic husband for ten years. He has been sober for four of the ten years. Recently his drinking has escalated to the point where he is d...	kml26385	6	680	Mar 25, 2010 by kml26385
	What to expect when they get out of rehab??? (Preview) I have a friend whose family did an intervention and sent him to rehab. He was in a bad auto accident a few months ago due to alcohol and was recovering but starting to drink again so his family stepped in. He's 40 divorced with 3 kids. I never knew he had a "problem" and was always a laid back swee...	Cararuss	8	5549	Mar 25, 2010 by Kiki52
	Life Updates (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=3&topicID=34237870	Alyana	10	933	Mar 25, 2010 by Karilynn
	C2C 3/24 (Preview) What I read in C2C this morning was profound for me. It has really given me food for thought. My mother has the beginning stages of Alzhimer's disease. My son has the disease of Alcoholism. It is very frustrating to be around both of them at times. I love my mother and I love my son. They are my family. Woul...	Gailey	5	973	Mar 25, 2010 by Karilynn
	A long night ahead (Preview) So I mentioned I am planning to move and have taken steps to get a new place and started a new job. As I sit here studying in the bedroom I moved into to be able to get advanced work and more hours, I hear the familiar banging of AH stuck in the bathroom again. I check on him to find he is on the floor and sauced to t...	Acatnip	8	881	Mar 25, 2010 by Acatnip
	just stuff (o: (Preview) Al Anon cont. to help me in life. So much of it comes natural now. AH is still in prison, I filed for divorce the end of January. Have done all the paper work and not the court date is April 29,10. Feels great. For me it was the best thing to wait to be ready to do all this. I have no emotion for him at all. No longer...	Debilyn	10	1020	Mar 25, 2010 by Katy
	Emotional Unavailability in A's (Preview) I'm recognizing a pattern of emotional unavailability as a common denominator in my past partners, who were both alcoholics and non-alcoholics. Which, of course, mirrors what was familiar to me from my family of origin; seems to be what I'm comfortable with! But I never seem to be able to spot it...	ythannah	11	1320	Mar 24, 2010 by ythannah
	Calling All Older timers Again :) (Preview) Again Tommorow Thursday at 9pm est is our Step/Tradition meeting> We will be on Tradition 12. I ask all oldtimers or some to come and join us and teach our new membes what the traditions mean to us and how we can use them in our lives. I would appeciate it . We need you! Thanks Kerry (aka Kerisha)	kerry5	0	765	Mar 24, 2010 by kerry5
	needing support (Preview) I think I was on here a couple of years ago but can't remember. I haven't been good about going to meetings and I thought I was doing o.k. - but in real denial. This has been one (very bad) year. We decided to move last year - my choice. So many things to list but summing it up my A cheated on me, got a DWI, and...	BEM	4	826	Mar 24, 2010 by Bettina
	I AM SO STUBBORN (Preview) So here I am again. Thinking I can fix it.. the neverending substance abuse counselor who is great with her clients. My friend who has been in AA for the last 23 years says "draw the line...tell him to get help or go." Realize I pink slipped this guy two months ago because of suicidal behav...	pricklypear	6	852	Mar 24, 2010 by kitty
	To Moonchild (Preview) Greetings to the MIP Alanon Board, I started reading here a few years ago when I began studying the effects of codependency in my life, but just read and didn't participate, for various reasons. However I read your (Moonchild) post recently and it tugged my heartstrings, but not being a parent, I felt...	AGO	10	729	Mar 24, 2010 by moonchild
	Work It Your Worth It: How I Used Detachment to Maintain My Serenity This Week (Preview) This week I had an experience that helped me understand how to detach and I wanted to share my ES&H. The Behaviors I learned Growing Up in An Alcoholic Home In the alcoholic family I grew up in, I developed a series of behaviors around crisis or perceived crisis. Whenever there was an upset, I drop...	BlueCloud	6	738	Mar 24, 2010 by blender_girl
	Alcoholism and Abuse (Preview) Hi, my ex ABF is in a relationship with an abusive AGF. We have been apart for 4 months. This past week I guess I failed and took him in so he could leave the abusive relationship. I put him up at a hotel for a couple of nights until he could find a rental. His AGF abuses him verbally and emotionally when she dr...	jasobel	4	721	Mar 24, 2010 by DreamXL
	Shelly 123! (Preview) Please come back, I miss you.Katyx	Katy	0	666	Mar 24, 2010 by Katy
	It's been over a year now and I still see the same patterns (Preview) I was devasted last year when I found out my husband is a heroine addict and had taken a lethal concoction of drugs and could have killed us all on our roadtrip to Mexico. I had been frustrated with his drug use and exhausted myself in trying to get him clean. He has dabbled with sobriety and a 12step progra...	angelchar375	5	948	Mar 24, 2010 by Rora
	I have left the alcoholic but why has the alcoholic not left me!! (Preview) I ended our 4 year marriage, 4 months ago, reason because of the violence and I the put downs that I suffered, I was with him for 12 years. My confidence is at a low, I still feel useless, unworthy, will I be ever free of these emotions and feelings. I attend Al anon meetings and find it fantastic, where I fee...	evaangel	10	816	Mar 23, 2010 by saltire
	Do I create a crisis when I'm in a crisis? (Preview) AH has moved out, happy he was to do it. He's seeing someone. And he lies constantly. Said he moved into a sober house but he didn't. Got an apartment for 485.00 a month with all utilities paid and took the vehicle that's paid off. I'm having such a problem not responding to his lies. Anyway, turns o...	Destynee	4	1195	Mar 23, 2010 by Jerry F
	Feeling guilty about exABF (Preview) Hi All, I've been doing some reflecting and I am feeling guilty about being an enabler to my exABF. We live in separate towns, but after our relationship got serious we decided that I would move back to my hometown (where he lives) after I finished my masters to start our lives together. I knew he was goin...	bluebee	3	777	Mar 23, 2010 by Jerry F
	trying to detach (Preview) Carol Lynn, Alanon. Tonight's meeting had some wonderful topics and I could relate to all of them. Pain has always been one of the hardest things to cope with, physical or emotional. when I am in pain, that is all I think about. It is all I can do to try to think of others who are also in pain and it seems to m...	Carol_Lynn	5	705	Mar 23, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Any ideas of where I can go when AH is drunk? (Preview) This may seem like a strange question - over the years when my AH drinks, it's almost always on a Saturday night. My friends already have plans and there I am in the house getting distressed, isolated and sad. I have called a couple of friends when this has happened and when they are busy, it makes me m...	wifeofalcoholic	12	1036	Mar 23, 2010 by kitty
	HELP - HELP - HELP!!!!! (Preview) Well my son got out of jail on the 16th. Judge wanted to put him on house arrest where he would of had to wear a bracelet to monitor him. Son told judge he didn't have the money so judge let him out with restriction to stay in the house. That has not happened. He was out friday and then again yesterday. Bef...	fishinmama	8	740	Mar 22, 2010 by Debilyn
	unconsciously alanon (Preview) My kids and I were sitting, waiting at a resturant. The waiter came over and said "Hi, my name is Mike and I am your waiter." My two alateens and I said "Hi Mike." and then waited in anticipation for him to begin his "story" LOL!!! A couple of seconds ticked by before the k...	freeagain	8	862	Mar 22, 2010 by Mandy123
	I just don't know what to do anymore (Preview) I have been with my husband for almost six years now, we just got married in July and had our son in December. I have known that he's a drinker and that his father died because he was an alcoholic, but I didn't think that things would ever get this bad. My husband is not violant or anything when he's drunk,...	Kellie Bovarro	10	937	Mar 22, 2010 by ythannah
	Throwing in the Towel (Preview) Not here, this has become my shelter from the storm. After another drama filled night that left me out after midnight seeking a hotel room just to get a few hours of much needed sleep, I am done here. I have had more drama in one week than I have had in the last ten years. In one week, it amazes me the things I ha...	Acatnip	10	828	Mar 22, 2010 by Acatnip
	Duped yet again (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while.I actually thought things were improving with my AH. Suprise!I was so happy thinking life is just beginning again and then boom.I come across something strange on my PC.Hmmm what's this ? Some things never change.He's been so sweet and willing to do whate...	cassidy2010	3	759	Mar 22, 2010 by RLC
	New here. Need help please - ex in rehab (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new here and I hope this is the right place for me to share. If not, please let me know. My boyfriend began rehab last week for alcohol addiction. Treatment is 6 months. As a result, he broke up with me. First of all, I was taken aside a bit. I knew he liked to drink a lot (it escalated in the las...	bluebee	12	777	Mar 22, 2010 by bluebee
	Any Ideas???? (Preview) I broke up with my abf 4 months ago. Second time around, I thought I could handle it because I loved him. He is a good person. this time around I think the diease progressed. He wasnt' as attentive and somethings got short with me. He seemed angry, sad, depressed, and resentful. He got some bad news about s...	NMW	9	720	Mar 22, 2010 by NMW
	Finding my independance (Preview) I have had a few very good days. I have spent less time so focused on AH and focusing more on myself and my children. I have started spring cleaning in and around my house, and I must admit over the past year things have slid pretty bad, do to my own back injury last year other crisises, and AH not helping out...	MapleMom	10	810	Mar 22, 2010 by Robinks
	How do you DETACH? (Preview) I don't mean, like, what is the definition of it. I know what it is and I know what I am suppose to be doing, but I mean HOW?? HOW do I get to the point where I can? What are some tips and hints....like baby steps where to start????? My husband is an alcoholic. He will not admit it. In fact, he said he loves d...	CindyLou	16	1183	Mar 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Am I kidding myself? (Preview) Hi everyone. I was just looking for some advice, experience, etc. I'm currently in a relationship with my Abf-sober. Though he hasn't taken a drink in 8 years, he has not been active in his program for the better part of 2 years. He has been sporadically going to meetings for the past 6 months I woul...	lizzakiss	5	775	Mar 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting as I have a commitment with my lawyer and will be unable to get back home in time. Hopefully, another OP will be present but if not, it would be good if another member could step-up and chair. Thanks Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)	shimo	4	540	Mar 21, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	All this has gotta go somewhere! (Preview) There's so much that I can't give. I'm not talking about things. I am talking about emotions. I think there are 2 primary reasons that I feel like I can't give this to others. The first is because I wasn't given these as a child. The other is because I don't feel like someone people would want love from. I f...	seekingserenity	8	789	Mar 21, 2010 by tlcate
	Justice (Preview) ((((Family)))), Many of you know that in April 2009 I discovered that all my jewelry had been stolen. It turned out to be the neighbor who helped me when Pipers took sick shortly after Tim passed. Today I received the court papers for an order of protection for both Pipers and I for a year. She's now a co...	Karilynn	8	779	Mar 21, 2010 by Andrea12
	another update from limbo (Preview) Hey, MIP Family! Here's another update from my life in Limbo. (I'm leaving my AH in May after I graduate college, legal separation, moving in with my best friend in another state, hopefully to go to grad school in a year.) This past weekend I drove to my folk's house and told them about what's been going o...	intothewoods	4	627	Mar 20, 2010 by blender_girl
	Acceptance (Preview) My higher power has already been so good to me today I have to share. background first- I've been physically emotionally depressed the kind that you know is just bad- the imbalance where I'm pretty sure I'd still feel sad no matter what. Well first blessing is I know it's gonna pass but as I was having a g...	glad	3	570	Mar 20, 2010 by intothewoods
	Serenity; peace of mind (Preview) I AM STILL SEARCHING FOR SERENITY & PEACE OF MIND! I STILL; THANKS TO MY HIGHER POWER, HAVE SOME PIECE OF MY MIND! I GUESS I WILL ALWAYS BE SEARCHING; FOR SOMETHING! I HAVE NOT "ARRIVED'' YET & I NEVER WILL. SOMETIMES I AM ON A CONSTANT SEARCH FOR MEANING IN MY LIFE: LIKE WHAT IS MY PURPO...	Hoot Nanny	5	702	Mar 20, 2010 by Bettina
	Learning so much from this board (Preview) I have come to this board and have written a couple of posts since finding my AH drunk after being sober for nearly 5 months. I appreciate the replies, the knowledge, the wisdom and getting to the core of me and my unhealthy ways that have developed from living with him. Thank you, thank you. I am readin...	wifeofalcoholic	6	628	Mar 20, 2010 by xeno59
	We talked last night (Preview) My exAH/bf contacted me yesterday morning to find out how the kids were and to see if we were on the "off and off". I told him I thought we needed to talk. So he came over last night after he got off of work. I went into this conversation thinking we were definately going to end things. I had ac...	QOD	6	823	Mar 20, 2010 by Bettina
	My journey through gratitude with changing attitudes (Preview) Gratitude for me at the moment in turn has given me the power to let it begin with me. For me that means I can share my experience and strength that I have gained through praticing al-anon slogans, trusting and sharing at meetings with friends/sponsor in my every day life which in fact is rewarding for ev...	chezza	3	894	Mar 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	"The Triangle Effect" (Preview) A lady in my Tuesday f2f Group gave an anology I had never heard before. But, it really hit home with me. She said she told her A husband that they suffered from "The Triangle Effect"----She loved him---- He loved Alcohol----And Alcohol didn't love either one of them. I don't think anyone co...	RLC	3	1272	Mar 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	what tools have you swapped in your tool box? (Preview) I had a microscope I swapped for a mirror! Rose tinted glasses, I swapped for varifocals! a broken record I swapped for an hearing aid! a callculator I kept but instead of adding up the defcit's I started adding up the credit! bricks I swapped for barriers! there must be tons more, your turn! Katyx	Katy	4	633	Mar 19, 2010 by nmike
	Hi everyone, I'm new here and lost... (Preview) I've come to this board because I need support and advice. I feel lost and have no clue what to do. My BF and I have been together for about 4 months now but we've known each other for 16 years and he's been an alcoholic since the age of 12. We were best friends first and then we started dating on and off through...	LinnieLee	9	727	Mar 19, 2010 by MapleMom
	driving (Preview) Hello I am new to Al-anon, and I'm having a problem with the detachment theory in one area, and that is drinking and driving. It does not make common sense to me to let someone get in a car if they are drunk. Is this supposed to make him suffer consequences and teach him a lesson? How about the fact that he cou...	joanlee	5	745	Mar 19, 2010 by joanlee
	A Good Day! (Preview) I have sole custody of my three kids, and the day-to-day stuff is all mine: meals, homework, baths, bedtime, laundry, etc. Visits with Dad are always playtime - he has none of the responsibility of parenting, just the fun stuff. (I'm stating a fact here; but I wouldn't change places for him for a...	lmw	4	745	Mar 19, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	Responsibility for ME and my quality of life... (Preview) One of the things my seminar stressed this weekend and that really helped pull me out of my self pity, was the idea that I must take responsibility for my future. There is a pay-off when I remain in self-pity - there is no risk and I believe that I am somehow hedging against future pain. Yesterday and this m...	RunnerChick	7	958	Mar 19, 2010 by glad
	I wrote a letter... (Preview) I am finally to the point that I want to ask my ex-Abf to not contact me for at least a month. I probably should ask for more but that's what I can start with. I wrote a letter earlier trying to explain how I feel and how I have a hard time telling others how I really feel...but I am trying to now. And that I need...	speck31	3	586	Mar 19, 2010 by speck31
	Still no word (Preview) I have not heard from my exAH/bf since the last Thursday texting wars. Well, actually he did text me on Saturday to see if I had his birth certificate. I don't and I have let him know that in the past. I have no clue what he needs it for, it cannot be good but I just don't give a rip. I have actualy enjoyed som...	QOD	5	677	Mar 19, 2010 by QOD
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.