Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

helpme08 · helpme08

To make a long story short (if I can), back in September, I was out of town for work. My AH, who is also diabetic, decided to drink one day and not eat, while he was in charge of our 7 year old son. While my son was in school all day, he had to come home to his father being totally drunk and having a diabetic low....

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

thanx for the comment,i really needed that i always wondered about others in my faith i always felt like or use to felt like i was the only deseased one there,cause they all knew of my problems,so ty,and no i wasnt offened the least bit,i figured alot of them kept it well hid,and it angrys me when they star...

Aloha · Aloha

I was asked the other day to consider being a person's sponsor. I was actually pretty surprised. My sponsor had pointed this person over to me maybe a month or so ago. I told this person that I'd not sponsored anyone before, and that I'm still only officially working my 4th step, but if she's willing to gi...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

I can scarcely believe what I'm about to report. I'm 32 and I have a friend in my program in grad school who is a couple years younger. he's married; I'm engaged, there has never been any "tension" we've always just been good friends (that's just to clarify it in case you wondered!). Since abo...

pineapple · pineapple

Ah was sober for awhile, then started drinking on occasion, lately has been spiraling downward rapidly. I've learned so much here that I'm much better able to handle it. I don't obsess over it. I don't even get angry anymore. I focus on myself and do what <i can to take care of myself. I've given the wh...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I'm not sure, but I think my entire mind and body is feeling complete overwhelming anxiety. I helped my daughter with her homework when she got home, I've been picking up around the house, ran to get milk and dog food, talked with the kids, going to a meeting tonight, but my head is feeling dizzy, my eyes...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I just wanted to request some prayers for my family. My AW and I have been trying to both deal with her addiction to alchohol through AA and Alanon. I had been suspicious about her drinking for the last month or so and it finally came to a head last night when she was hiding vodka and drinking it everytime I l...

kath · kath

Hi, this is Kath. Have been gone for a while due to computer malfunction. Just wanted to ask you guys to keep family and I in your prayers. We were involved in a hit and run accident this weekend. No one was severly injured, in which I am thankful. After the accident I did have feelings of guilt and thinkin...

ljc · ljc

I dont know if I should do ( or say ) anything at all. I dont live with an alcoholic. I live in the same town as my Momand she is addicted to prescription pain killers and she has been for a very long time. Currently she is angry with me cuz I set a boundary. A little over 5 yrs ago I confronted my Mom ( via email...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well....I was working at home today, one of my good friends gets a text from the A....he tells her he's happy and should not have come back to his family, now he just wants to see his kids, but has made no attempt other than harrassing me and my friends about it. .......she said she did tell him he needs to g...

lyndebi · lyndebi

This is how insane it is. I just got an email from my mortgage advocate. His job is to do all the paperwork and communicate with the Mortgage company. He is doing it for me as he is a friend of my adoptive dads. The mortgage co. put the date up again. Was told more than once we would have a contract or answer if...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

Well I attended my first meeting and was amazed...My sister in-law called me earlier this evening and asked me if I needed her to go with me...I promptly said NO She did not attend and I am greatful...Things have worked out in the end...I will be attending again next week and so on...I felt right away tha...

Brookiebabe222 · Brookiebabe222

Hey guys. So it's been a while. I am a little stresses because this week is finals week for school and since I missed so much I have to finish a ton of work. In the meantime, The ex A is plauging my thoughts. Every time my mind wanders from schoolwork to him, my stomach twists in knots and I get super anxious. T...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

hi, my a/addict in my life is my now (thank gosh) distant b/f,i got really lonely today and felt like i was actually gonna crack up this morn.so i finnally broke down and called my a b/f,WHAT WAS I THINKING,im trying so hard to just disolve this bad sick and could be dangerous relationship ,i even asked hi...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Last night was interesting to me. Yesterday about half way through the day I could tell my Abf had been drinking and possibly whatever else. Regardless, I of course got a little obsessed. I went into the crazy thinking that us codependents do, which is my way of avoiding what hurts. I get so involve...

sarebaer · sarebaer

I had been very proud of how well I was working my program but I failed miserably the past few days! It was opening hunting season plus Ah took a week of vacation so I knew it would be alot of drinking and prepared to do my own thing. But instead of being happy that I had made plans (with my 11 year old grandaugh...

clep · clep

I just got home from my meeting a little while ago. My A hugged me and kissed me. I was very taken back from that. I reciprocated and let him know that even though we are working our own programs I like it when we are still affectionate. It doesn't feel like I am not in a relationship at all and we can at lea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this short & sweet! Today is a good day! I am grateful & the sun is shining! I remember reading this quote: Make your words sweet; you might have to eat them! I guess that's all for me today! I will keep positive & hang in there! Kathleen

Karilynn · Karilynn

Today is John's Birthday! He's 21! Let us all take a moment to wish our founder a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for all you have done for us. Your impact has been global. There is no telling how many lives you have saved and better by this board alone. I know what you have done for me. Enjoy your bi...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi everyone Before Thanksgiving, I wrote here about my anxiety over friends who were coming and who are heavy drinkers (they even bring their own beer, so there was no guarantee that my just not having alcohol to serve would keep them from drinking). They don't know my H is an A. I talked the issue ove...

failte · failte

Hi all, Step 1 and Step 2 has just began over on the Step Work board, if you click on the link above, you can come over and join us, I am a newbie and just begining the steps, so would appreciate old and new experiences, Step 1 has been started by Tlcate, while Step 2 by Desirae, and already it has helped me imme...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have been attending Al-Anon meetings and learning the steps. I know that I have not mastered them because I still get the feelings of controlling, watching and feeling suspicious. My AH is going to wonderful meetings and making important changes in HIS life. I have to become better at managing...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, it looks like Friday may be the day I actually get divorced. Its been 3 years, and a source of frustration, anxiety and major procrastination for me. We cannot wait anymore, and the legality of it all will hopeful protect me from some possible ghastly consequences. We are going to sit with our a...

lyndebi · lyndebi

You guys are really helping me. I am not in so much pain now. Maybe because I am so weak my body does not have enough energy to be anxious! Went to doc. I take Darvocet for pain. Well as you may know it is no longer availabe. I am that one person out of ten who breaks down meds very different. doc almost killed me...

Rora · Rora

I've been away from the board for a while and I've missed it terribly. It wasn't long ago that my Mom, who lives 6 hrs away, was told she has terminal cancer and it has been a whirlwind for me ever since. She's been in hospital since mid October, I've gone to see her at every possible chance I can. Trying t...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

Hello everyone..I am new here tonight...Tomorrow I go to my first al anon meeting. My son age 30 is an addict (alcohol,speed and cocaine) that I know of. I have talked to him a lot and he refuses to go for help. He refuses to have anything to do with his daughter. wich is good at this time. Two weeks ago he los...

pamommy · pamommy

My AH has been going to AA every day except one day for 11 days since he publicly vomited his problem and ruined Thanksgiving dinner. I know about the AA steps, but not much about the differences in meetings themselves, and our family therapist suggested he go to one that does the steps or the Big Book. ...

ljc · ljc

Hello Everyone, Im Lori , an Alanoner that hasn't been working or applying the program to me very well lately . I have a sponsor ( actually 2 of them, since Im a sober alcoholic thru AA 6 yrs, and my AA sponsor is also Alanon ). Unfortuneately, Im the type of person who either waits till its so bad that I lo...

clep · clep

I went to my male friends house last night to see him for his birthday. My A knows him and the situation well. His mom was there and it was nice to finally meet her. We all sat and chatted and I walked in my door at 2am. I got up and wet to the craft fair with my girlfriend. He was in bed I guess when I came home...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am on a positive mission. By that I mean that I am looking for the good things in life, in me, in others, in all situations. Fear, trembling, sceptism is waning and in place of those I find courage, steadfastness and joy. And the ratio of bad days to good is turning itself on its head. True, I still get d...

Tracy · Tracy

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to connect with myself on a spiritual level. I looked into my own eyes and told myself the distroted belief systems that I had been following since childhood ere wrong such as That i was strong, that I had to take care of others, That others needed me, that others pa...

Aloha · Aloha

I've had a lot of news sort of tumble down on me in the last week or two... I think a lot of this stuff might have overwhelmed me in the past, but right now, I'm feeling a lot of detachment from it all, but I have this little paranoid voice waaaay back in the depths of my head trying to tell me... "Oh, you sh...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I had two moments today where I realized just how hard it is to really embrace Al Anon for me and how much I have to work on. First, while driving to church this morning, there was a CD in the car that my wife was listening to. It was an AA CD--basically stories from the Big Book in CD form. Anyway, my wife was mo...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

Recently on a reality show, two women were talking about their marriages. One was in a loving and supportive marriage, the other one wished for that. The happy woman said, "I feel like he's always got my back, and I know I've got his." I realized that I've never had that feeling in my marri...

clep · clep

I have applied my al-anon program to situations and am finding myself exasperated today. Don't expect anything of my A I read and learn. In applying this I do the bills, organization of our whole home, our son's schooling needs, run my business, do my volunteer work and I do all of this with no vehicle a...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I have an AH who has been in recovery. Things have been great, however, I believe that he is "experimenting" with small amounts of alcohol to see if he can get away with it. He has always wanted to be able to drink like others. He goes to meetings and has a strong support group but doesn't rea...

sdisnie · sdisnie

In order to truly heal, to truly break the cycle that we get in with an A.....we have to do things differently, think differently, change our life. Just like an A does...they have to change things in their life so they don't fall into the same patters as before. How do I know if the changes that I believe I...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Well, I finally heard from the very selfish and sick A. He emailed....said he's trying to find a job, and he wants to just move forward and that he's sorry that everything worked out this way and that he can't change anything. "Can't" change anything? Is that just a sick thing to say? It's...

Jerry F · Jerry F

clearer, wider, deeper more contrasted. When I found out that my blindness was in fact correctable and not inoperable I delighted in the news that the surgery was scheduled for the Thanksgiving holiday, the 24 and 25th. My wife and family didn't think that the best idea however I know from past expe...

tlcate · tlcate

That was something my brothers used to say to me and I swear God said it to me too just recently. I was on here complaining and feeling bad . . . over nothing. Tap tap tap in the middle of my forehead . . . "Tricia, are you listening?" I am all geared up to go to my first Friday night meeting in the new c...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Ran into a situation last night that I was unprepared for. Okay, that's kinda funny, because that pretty much sums up life with an A, and now for me, what life with teenagers is like. My son is 17. Our relationhip is a struggle, and my issues with him revolve more around attitude and honesty, than beha...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I go to a meeting every Friday that is through my church, it's been wonderful because first they have a BBQ if you want to eat dinner, then they have a little bit of worship and talk about troubles in life etc, then the men go to one side, the women to the other and break down into issue specific groups. I wis...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hey everyone, I've been learning/coming to terms with a lot, through reading and therapy, about the dynamics of an alcoholic/codependent relationship. That we had something in us that attracted the alcoholic, and they had something in them that attracted us. Just wondering, looking back, can y...

Grace7 · Grace7

Hi. Have dealt with A for Years. Now instead of my former mate, it is my child of whom I speak. He lives in another state and recently married a partier. He has had a dui, told me in his later teen years he was an alcoholic (in the military at that time). He quit for a time, turned to physical fitness and hi...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi. I havent been writing on this forum for a very long time and it has been about two months since I last attended a f2f meeting. I first joined Al-Anon because of problems with my ex-girlfriend. We started dating in 2007 while I lived in Norway and she lived in England. She was an alcoholic and I did what I...

glad lee · glad lee

... how do you "work" your program? Do you use the 12 steps? The beginning of step twelve reads: "Having had a spiritual awakening AS THE RESULT of these steps..." Does that motivate you? Does something else motivate you? I moved at a snail's pace on the steps when I came into...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

and feel terribly guilty that I (or we) upset our daughter so much. My daughter and I came home at 8PM from a nice day outdoors at a Christmas festival near us. Wife hadn't come because she wasn't feeling well (yes I did invite her). When I come in the door she starts telling me that a relative from Germa...

sdisnie · sdisnie

The insane scary death like binge has ended for the A and while I know he's actively drinking and trying to hold it together this time by just drinking beer, his mind is not stable. The actions he's taken and things he's done and the leaving our home without saying goodbye to any of us, not acknowledging...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Nothing yet, no news. My advocate called Mon. and Fri. I was thinking maybe one cannot be ok when lifes hard stuff hits us. Maybe the important thing is to keep kicking. To keep walking, dressing, cleaning house, talking to hp. My body honestly feels like a bunch of knots like how some viney plants get wh...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

My 11 year old son and 7 year old son were sitting at the kitchen table writing out their wish list to Santa. My 11 year old son just came into the living room and showed us his list. He had two things on it that he wished for which was a Nintendo DSI, and a cell phone that has service, but what he put below that...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night as usual, AH was drinking and if I had to guess, I would say he was probably drunk. Everything was fine until around 10pm. The kids were in the kitchen making holiday crafts, and AH was in there with them making them some hot chocolate. I remembered something funny that happened at work on F...

Jozie · Jozie

I am Asking the MIP Family to Send some Prayers to ((((((Shelly123)))))) She Today Lost Her Only Uncle, and it is taking its toll... If you could take a second and send a Prayer to her & our Family, I would be Mosts Grateful, We all know that he is with his God, and Had a Faith Like Know other, and Now his S...

member922 · member922

Can I not have some stability? I just want to give up. And I know I can't.

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

As I've discussed the past, the pursuit of happiness has been a big deal to me lately in overcoming depression, negativity etc. I've begun to engage in more activities I enjoy on a regular basis and this has helped alot. I've also tried really hard (boy was it tough at first) to be aware of things in my li...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

I am having a TERRIBLE day, and ALL of it is because I crossed my own boundaries. I said yes, when I meant no...waaaay too many times, and the rtesults are PREDICTABLE and I'm tired and overwhelmed. Sigh...live and learn. I hope today is over with VERY SOON... grrrrrr

clep · clep

My A just asked me if it was better talking with me only about the weather instead of real things. He is upset I am sure because I am going to spend some time tonight with a male friend, his mom and kids for his birthday. I have never met his mom and can't stand his kids so I hope they are in bed. :) The woman m...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

My bf has decided to call NA/AA to get help. He feels like things have become totally unmanagable... He found the number, he said he would call. He also needs a ride to a meeting tonight. He didn't ask, I offered. I hope that is not too codependent of me? He can't drive because of a DUI a year ago... A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

WELL... 2 WEEKS HAVE GONE BY SINCE I LAST POSTED! I WISH I HAD A COMPUTER AT HOME RIGHT ABOUT NOW! I HAVE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING ON THE COMPUTER AT ALL! I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING W/ DISCOMFORT & BAD WEATHER UP HERE! I GUESS I SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I POSTED I HAD REALLY NO COMPLAINTS...

DrownTheEgo · DrownTheEgo

So it's about time. I've just become willing to make amends to the people I have harmed. Some of those people are no longer in my life. Where my concern lies is in making amends to people whom I have loved, romantically. In these relationships I have lied much and often. When making my amends with the p...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Interesting stuff came up in therapy last night. I had previously discussed my problems with intimacy. I set up walls and don't let people in. This shields me from being hurt. I'm also really good at "replacing" those who disappoint me or discarding them altogether. It's a countera...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need Help Before I React (Preview) To make a long story short (if I can), back in September, I was out of town for work. My AH, who is also diabetic, decided to drink one day and not eat, while he was in charge of our 7 year old son. While my son was in school all day, he had to come home to his father being totally drunk and having a diabetic low....	helpme08	8	687	Dec 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	hi,xeno (Preview) thanx for the comment,i really needed that i always wondered about others in my faith i always felt like or use to felt like i was the only deseased one there,cause they all knew of my problems,so ty,and no i wasnt offened the least bit,i figured alot of them kept it well hid,and it angrys me when they star...	pattyann1963	2	545	Dec 10, 2010 by lyndebi
	Been asked to be a sponsor (Preview) I was asked the other day to consider being a person's sponsor. I was actually pretty surprised. My sponsor had pointed this person over to me maybe a month or so ago. I told this person that I'd not sponsored anyone before, and that I'm still only officially working my 4th step, but if she's willing to gi...	Aloha	6	625	Dec 10, 2010 by Aloha
	friend ignoring me (Preview) I can scarcely believe what I'm about to report. I'm 32 and I have a friend in my program in grad school who is a couple years younger. he's married; I'm engaged, there has never been any "tension" we've always just been good friends (that's just to clarify it in case you wondered!). Since abo...	Imogen421	17	3023	Dec 10, 2010 by failte
	having trouble getting past the sadness (Preview) Ah was sober for awhile, then started drinking on occasion, lately has been spiraling downward rapidly. I've learned so much here that I'm much better able to handle it. I don't obsess over it. I don't even get angry anymore. I focus on myself and do what <i can to take care of myself. I've given the wh...	pineapple	9	750	Dec 10, 2010 by failte
	Anxiety (Preview) I'm not sure, but I think my entire mind and body is feeling complete overwhelming anxiety. I helped my daughter with her homework when she got home, I've been picking up around the house, ran to get milk and dog food, talked with the kids, going to a meeting tonight, but my head is feeling dizzy, my eyes...	sdisnie	14	1260	Dec 10, 2010 by Evie
	Prayer request (Preview) I just wanted to request some prayers for my family. My AW and I have been trying to both deal with her addiction to alchohol through AA and Alanon. I had been suspicious about her drinking for the last month or so and it finally came to a head last night when she was hiding vodka and drinking it everytime I l...	ntxalanon	7	955	Dec 9, 2010 by ntxalanon
	Hello (Preview) Hi, this is Kath. Have been gone for a while due to computer malfunction. Just wanted to ask you guys to keep family and I in your prayers. We were involved in a hit and run accident this weekend. No one was severly injured, in which I am thankful. After the accident I did have feelings of guilt and thinkin...	kath	5	676	Dec 9, 2010 by maresie
	Im sorta scarred and dont know what to do? (Preview) I dont know if I should do ( or say ) anything at all. I dont live with an alcoholic. I live in the same town as my Momand she is addicted to prescription pain killers and she has been for a very long time. Currently she is angry with me cuz I set a boundary. A little over 5 yrs ago I confronted my Mom ( via email...	ljc	7	779	Dec 9, 2010 by maryjane
	Wow...what a stressful day....had to call police :( (Preview) Well....I was working at home today, one of my good friends gets a text from the A....he tells her he's happy and should not have come back to his family, now he just wants to see his kids, but has made no attempt other than harrassing me and my friends about it. .......she said she did tell him he needs to g...	sdisnie	9	944	Dec 9, 2010 by failte
	Update (Preview) This is how insane it is. I just got an email from my mortgage advocate. His job is to do all the paperwork and communicate with the Mortgage company. He is doing it for me as he is a friend of my adoptive dads. The mortgage co. put the date up again. Was told more than once we would have a contract or answer if...	lyndebi	5	696	Dec 9, 2010 by failte
	My First Meeting (Preview) Well I attended my first meeting and was amazed...My sister in-law called me earlier this evening and asked me if I needed her to go with me...I promptly said NO She did not attend and I am greatful...Things have worked out in the end...I will be attending again next week and so on...I felt right away tha...	butterfliesnroses60	9	512	Dec 9, 2010 by butterfliesnroses60
	Still? Really? (Preview) Hey guys. So it's been a while. I am a little stresses because this week is finals week for school and since I missed so much I have to finish a ton of work. In the meantime, The ex A is plauging my thoughts. Every time my mind wanders from schoolwork to him, my stomach twists in knots and I get super anxious. T...	Brookiebabe222	5	796	Dec 9, 2010 by sdisnie
	trying hard (Preview) hi, my a/addict in my life is my now (thank gosh) distant b/f,i got really lonely today and felt like i was actually gonna crack up this morn.so i finnally broke down and called my a b/f,WHAT WAS I THINKING,im trying so hard to just disolve this bad sick and could be dangerous relationship ,i even asked hi...	pattyann1963	4	624	Dec 9, 2010 by Brookiebabe222
	It works if you work it.... (Preview) Last night was interesting to me. Yesterday about half way through the day I could tell my Abf had been drinking and possibly whatever else. Regardless, I of course got a little obsessed. I went into the crazy thinking that us codependents do, which is my way of avoiding what hurts. I get so involve...	sunflowergirl	8	843	Dec 9, 2010 by Peggy7
	Where do I go from here? (Preview) I had been very proud of how well I was working my program but I failed miserably the past few days! It was opening hunting season plus Ah took a week of vacation so I knew it would be alot of drinking and prepared to do my own thing. But instead of being happy that I had made plans (with my 11 year old grandaugh...	sarebaer	8	637	Dec 9, 2010 by Peggy7
	Strange things (Preview) I just got home from my meeting a little while ago. My A hugged me and kissed me. I was very taken back from that. I reciprocated and let him know that even though we are working our own programs I like it when we are still affectionate. It doesn't feel like I am not in a relationship at all and we can at lea...	clep	5	645	Dec 9, 2010 by Peggy7
	short & sweet! (Preview) I will make this short & sweet! Today is a good day! I am grateful & the sun is shining! I remember reading this quote: Make your words sweet; you might have to eat them! I guess that's all for me today! I will keep positive & hang in there! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	4	862	Dec 9, 2010 by Peggy7
	Happy Birthday John! (Preview) Today is John's Birthday! He's 21! Let us all take a moment to wish our founder a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for all you have done for us. Your impact has been global. There is no telling how many lives you have saved and better by this board alone. I know what you have done for me. Enjoy your bi...	Karilynn	13	670	Dec 8, 2010 by grammie
	Proud & grateful (Preview) Hi everyone Before Thanksgiving, I wrote here about my anxiety over friends who were coming and who are heavy drinkers (they even bring their own beer, so there was no guarantee that my just not having alcohol to serve would keep them from drinking). They don't know my H is an A. I talked the issue ove...	Cloudsea	8	638	Dec 8, 2010 by tiredtonite
	Brand new 12 Steps has started on Step Work Board come on over and join us! (Preview) Hi all, Step 1 and Step 2 has just began over on the Step Work board, if you click on the link above, you can come over and join us, I am a newbie and just begining the steps, so would appreciate old and new experiences, Step 1 has been started by Tlcate, while Step 2 by Desirae, and already it has helped me imme...	failte	3	1723	Dec 8, 2010 by failte
	How to detach and still love your husband? (Preview) I have been attending Al-Anon meetings and learning the steps. I know that I have not mastered them because I still get the feelings of controlling, watching and feeling suspicious. My AH is going to wonderful meetings and making important changes in HIS life. I have to become better at managing...	wifeofalcoholic	9	8604	Dec 8, 2010 by kitty
	Finally... (Preview) Well, it looks like Friday may be the day I actually get divorced. Its been 3 years, and a source of frustration, anxiety and major procrastination for me. We cannot wait anymore, and the legality of it all will hopeful protect me from some possible ghastly consequences. We are going to sit with our a...	Loupiness	8	658	Dec 8, 2010 by danielle0516
	ugh! But doing ok (Preview) You guys are really helping me. I am not in so much pain now. Maybe because I am so weak my body does not have enough energy to be anxious! Went to doc. I take Darvocet for pain. Well as you may know it is no longer availabe. I am that one person out of ten who breaks down meds very different. doc almost killed me...	lyndebi	5	625	Dec 8, 2010 by danielle0516
	Need some ESH... (Preview) I've been away from the board for a while and I've missed it terribly. It wasn't long ago that my Mom, who lives 6 hrs away, was told she has terminal cancer and it has been a whirlwind for me ever since. She's been in hospital since mid October, I've gone to see her at every possible chance I can. Trying t...	Rora	5	935	Dec 7, 2010 by tiredtonite
	Heart is breaking (Preview) Hello everyone..I am new here tonight...Tomorrow I go to my first al anon meeting. My son age 30 is an addict (alcohol,speed and cocaine) that I know of. I have talked to him a lot and he refuses to go for help. He refuses to have anything to do with his daughter. wich is good at this time. Two weeks ago he los...	butterfliesnroses60	8	1057	Dec 7, 2010 by tiredtonite
	How do you know if recovery is real or does it even matter? (Preview) My AH has been going to AA every day except one day for 11 days since he publicly vomited his problem and ruined Thanksgiving dinner. I know about the AA steps, but not much about the differences in meetings themselves, and our family therapist suggested he go to one that does the steps or the Big Book. ...	pamommy	16	1056	Dec 7, 2010 by xeno59
	Ive been lost .. and need this board/group (Preview) Hello Everyone, Im Lori , an Alanoner that hasn't been working or applying the program to me very well lately . I have a sponsor ( actually 2 of them, since Im a sober alcoholic thru AA 6 yrs, and my AA sponsor is also Alanon ). Unfortuneately, Im the type of person who either waits till its so bad that I lo...	ljc	11	687	Dec 7, 2010 by xeno59
	My A is not taking change well (Preview) I went to my male friends house last night to see him for his birthday. My A knows him and the situation well. His mom was there and it was nice to finally meet her. We all sat and chatted and I walked in my door at 2am. I got up and wet to the craft fair with my girlfriend. He was in bed I guess when I came home...	clep	12	640	Dec 7, 2010 by glad lee
	The penny has just dropped - I have met up with that great companion POSITVE SYNERGY. (Preview) I am on a positive mission. By that I mean that I am looking for the good things in life, in me, in others, in all situations. Fear, trembling, sceptism is waning and in place of those I find courage, steadfastness and joy. And the ratio of bad days to good is turning itself on its head. True, I still get d...	Suzannah	3	797	Dec 7, 2010 by maresie
	relationship with self (Preview) Over the weekend I had the opportunity to connect with myself on a spiritual level. I looked into my own eyes and told myself the distroted belief systems that I had been following since childhood ere wrong such as That i was strong, that I had to take care of others, That others needed me, that others pa...	Tracy	4	686	Dec 7, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Peculiar how my head seems to seek excuses to get anxious (Preview) I've had a lot of news sort of tumble down on me in the last week or two... I think a lot of this stuff might have overwhelmed me in the past, but right now, I'm feeling a lot of detachment from it all, but I have this little paranoid voice waaaay back in the depths of my head trying to tell me... "Oh, you sh...	Aloha	3	626	Dec 6, 2010 by lyndebi
	Still finding this hard--2 small examples (Preview) I had two moments today where I realized just how hard it is to really embrace Al Anon for me and how much I have to work on. First, while driving to church this morning, there was a CD in the car that my wife was listening to. It was an AA CD--basically stories from the Big Book in CD form. Anyway, my wife was mo...	usedtobeanyer	10	1026	Dec 6, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	Can An A Ever "Have Your Back?" (Preview) Recently on a reality show, two women were talking about their marriages. One was in a loving and supportive marriage, the other one wished for that. The happy woman said, "I feel like he's always got my back, and I know I've got his." I realized that I've never had that feeling in my marri...	essgee1952	20	1103	Dec 6, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Feel like I'm gonna blow up any minute (Preview) I have applied my al-anon program to situations and am finding myself exasperated today. Don't expect anything of my A I read and learn. In applying this I do the bills, organization of our whole home, our son's schooling needs, run my business, do my volunteer work and I do all of this with no vehicle a...	clep	6	514	Dec 6, 2010 by clep
	What do I say? Confront? Ignore? (Preview) I have an AH who has been in recovery. Things have been great, however, I believe that he is "experimenting" with small amounts of alcohol to see if he can get away with it. He has always wanted to be able to drink like others. He goes to meetings and has a strong support group but doesn't rea...	wifeofalcoholic	8	1111	Dec 6, 2010 by Rita G
	To Heal...You have make changes...How do you know if they are the right ones (Preview) In order to truly heal, to truly break the cycle that we get in with an A.....we have to do things differently, think differently, change our life. Just like an A does...they have to change things in their life so they don't fall into the same patters as before. How do I know if the changes that I believe I...	sdisnie	11	1420	Dec 6, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Finally heard from the A... (Preview) Well, I finally heard from the very selfish and sick A. He emailed....said he's trying to find a job, and he wants to just move forward and that he's sorry that everything worked out this way and that he can't change anything. "Can't" change anything? Is that just a sick thing to say? It's...	sdisnie	4	428	Dec 6, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	My vision is still getting.... (Preview) clearer, wider, deeper more contrasted. When I found out that my blindness was in fact correctable and not inoperable I delighted in the news that the surgery was scheduled for the Thanksgiving holiday, the 24 and 25th. My wife and family didn't think that the best idea however I know from past expe...	Jerry F	7	818	Dec 6, 2010 by maresie
	Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about . . . (Preview) That was something my brothers used to say to me and I swear God said it to me too just recently. I was on here complaining and feeling bad . . . over nothing. Tap tap tap in the middle of my forehead . . . "Tricia, are you listening?" I am all geared up to go to my first Friday night meeting in the new c...	tlcate	7	726	Dec 6, 2010 by stomoxys
	What would you do? (Preview) Ran into a situation last night that I was unprepared for. Okay, that's kinda funny, because that pretty much sums up life with an A, and now for me, what life with teenagers is like. My son is 17. Our relationhip is a struggle, and my issues with him revolve more around attitude and honesty, than beha...	Loupiness	7	463	Dec 6, 2010 by Karilynn
	Meeting this Tuesday (Preview) I go to a meeting every Friday that is through my church, it's been wonderful because first they have a BBQ if you want to eat dinner, then they have a little bit of worship and talk about troubles in life etc, then the men go to one side, the women to the other and break down into issue specific groups. I wis...	sdisnie	3	662	Dec 6, 2010 by bud
	Relationships: What attracted you to your A? (Preview) Hey everyone, I've been learning/coming to terms with a lot, through reading and therapy, about the dynamics of an alcoholic/codependent relationship. That we had something in us that attracted the alcoholic, and they had something in them that attracted us. Just wondering, looking back, can y...	danielle0516	14	977	Dec 5, 2010 by pamommy
	Dealing with Adult Alcoholic Child (Preview) Hi. Have dealt with A for Years. Now instead of my former mate, it is my child of whom I speak. He lives in another state and recently married a partier. He has had a dui, told me in his later teen years he was an alcoholic (in the military at that time). He quit for a time, turned to physical fitness and hi...	Grace7	2	4701	Dec 5, 2010 by DreamsOver
	I live with the person I love, but feel more alone than ever... (Preview) Hi. I havent been writing on this forum for a very long time and it has been about two months since I last attended a f2f meeting. I first joined Al-Anon because of problems with my ex-girlfriend. We started dating in 2007 while I lived in Norway and she lived in England. She was an alcoholic and I did what I...	Cosmos	6	801	Dec 5, 2010 by Cosmos
	I am curious to know... (Preview) ... how do you "work" your program? Do you use the 12 steps? The beginning of step twelve reads: "Having had a spiritual awakening AS THE RESULT of these steps..." Does that motivate you? Does something else motivate you? I moved at a snail's pace on the steps when I came into...	glad lee	13	1209	Dec 5, 2010 by Imogen421
	Screwed up royally last night...... (Preview) and feel terribly guilty that I (or we) upset our daughter so much. My daughter and I came home at 8PM from a nice day outdoors at a Christmas festival near us. Wife hadn't come because she wasn't feeling well (yes I did invite her). When I come in the door she starts telling me that a relative from Germa...	mjhyankees	7	881	Dec 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	Scared and need to know if I'm being crazy or just protective? (Preview) The insane scary death like binge has ended for the A and while I know he's actively drinking and trying to hold it together this time by just drinking beer, his mind is not stable. The actions he's taken and things he's done and the leaving our home without saying goodbye to any of us, not acknowledging...	sdisnie	18	826	Dec 5, 2010 by Grace7
	Please untie these knots....ugh (Preview) Nothing yet, no news. My advocate called Mon. and Fri. I was thinking maybe one cannot be ok when lifes hard stuff hits us. Maybe the important thing is to keep kicking. To keep walking, dressing, cleaning house, talking to hp. My body honestly feels like a bunch of knots like how some viney plants get wh...	lyndebi	4	428	Dec 5, 2010 by tlcate
	Off topic, but just have to share (Preview) My 11 year old son and 7 year old son were sitting at the kitchen table writing out their wish list to Santa. My 11 year old son just came into the living room and showed us his list. He had two things on it that he wished for which was a Nintendo DSI, and a cell phone that has service, but what he put below that...	kimmy1975	5	687	Dec 5, 2010 by member922
	Went to bed angry (Preview) Last night as usual, AH was drinking and if I had to guess, I would say he was probably drunk. Everything was fine until around 10pm. The kids were in the kitchen making holiday crafts, and AH was in there with them making them some hot chocolate. I remembered something funny that happened at work on F...	kimmy1975	6	667	Dec 5, 2010 by Bettina
	Prayers Needed (Preview) I am Asking the MIP Family to Send some Prayers to ((((((Shelly123)))))) She Today Lost Her Only Uncle, and it is taking its toll... If you could take a second and send a Prayer to her & our Family, I would be Mosts Grateful, We all know that he is with his God, and Had a Faith Like Know other, and Now his S...	Jozie	7	634	Dec 5, 2010 by Andrea12
	Sometimes honesty is NOT the best policy (Preview) Can I not have some stability? I just want to give up. And I know I can't.	member922	9	1014	Dec 4, 2010 by Mattie
	My personal happiness project. (Preview) As I've discussed the past, the pursuit of happiness has been a big deal to me lately in overcoming depression, negativity etc. I've begun to engage in more activities I enjoy on a regular basis and this has helped alot. I've also tried really hard (boy was it tough at first) to be aware of things in my li...	mjhyankees	5	730	Dec 4, 2010 by kitty
	terrrrrrible day...grrrrr (Preview) I am having a TERRIBLE day, and ALL of it is because I crossed my own boundaries. I said yes, when I meant no...waaaay too many times, and the rtesults are PREDICTABLE and I'm tired and overwhelmed. Sigh...live and learn. I hope today is over with VERY SOON... grrrrrr	rainbojo66	8	672	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
	Yipee....I didn't take the bait. (Preview) My A just asked me if it was better talking with me only about the weather instead of real things. He is upset I am sure because I am going to spend some time tonight with a male friend, his mom and kids for his birthday. I have never met his mom and can't stand his kids so I hope they are in bed. :) The woman m...	clep	8	1098	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
	Help me center... (Preview) My bf has decided to call NA/AA to get help. He feels like things have become totally unmanagable... He found the number, he said he would call. He also needs a ride to a meeting tonight. He didn't ask, I offered. I hope that is not too codependent of me? He can't drive because of a DUI a year ago... A...	sunflowergirl	10	1691	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
	where have I been? (Preview) WELL... 2 WEEKS HAVE GONE BY SINCE I LAST POSTED! I WISH I HAD A COMPUTER AT HOME RIGHT ABOUT NOW! I HAVE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTING ON THE COMPUTER AT ALL! I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING W/ DISCOMFORT & BAD WEATHER UP HERE! I GUESS I SHOULDN'T COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE LAST TIME I POSTED I HAD REALLY NO COMPLAINTS...	Hoot Nanny	5	717	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
	Taking that 9th step (Preview) So it's about time. I've just become willing to make amends to the people I have harmed. Some of those people are no longer in my life. Where my concern lies is in making amends to people whom I have loved, romantically. In these relationships I have lied much and often. When making my amends with the p...	DrownTheEgo	8	3867	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
	My need to possess....and possibly why..... (Preview) Interesting stuff came up in therapy last night. I had previously discussed my problems with intimacy. I set up walls and don't let people in. This shields me from being hurt. I'm also really good at "replacing" those who disappoint me or discarding them altogether. It's a countera...	mjhyankees	2	730	Dec 4, 2010 by xeno59
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.