The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just got home from my meeting a little while ago. My A hugged me and kissed me. I was very taken back from that. I reciprocated and let him know that even though we are working our own programs I like it when we are still affectionate. It doesn't feel like I am not in a relationship at all and we can at least create some positive feelings towards each other. He agreed and was still affectionate going down the hall. Funny how that made me feel not so irritated with him. He doesn't seem angry with me right now. Hmmm. For this I am grateful. :)
When I was at my meeting a woman who has gone to my home group for about six months was there. She didn't recognize me as I was going to big book studies for a long time and when I returned to my home group she wasn't there. I have also had my very long hair all cut off and dyed so I am not surprised she didn't recognize me.
She expressed this was her first Al-anon meeting. She was helping set up, was graciously accepting all of the attention and the meeting being geared towards her. She even chose a book as a gift, as she already had the other ones from our home group. When it was time to pass the basket she asked if she should put in her first meeting and then closed her wallet when she was advised people don't put in their first meeting.
I couldn't believe how misleading she was, how much she blatantly lied to the group, and how she took the literature free of charge again.
I didn't say anything as it is not my place to expose anything to anyone, but was a little distracted when everyone directed their share to the "newcomer". With each share I was reminded how dishonest this woman was being. I am still quite amazed at how she lapped up the attention she was getting, regarding how well she was doing for her first meeting.
I realize there was a reason she was the way she was, and maybe she won't always be that way. I tried not to be judgmental and remember we are all at different points in our lives and our programs. It was just a little surprising and I have not seen anything like that.
Things seem a little more relaxed at my house for now which I am grateful for.
-- Edited by clep on Monday 6th of December 2010 07:29:19 PM
Poor woman. No telling what someone else's reasons are for doing what they do, but your response (or lack of a response, as the case was) shows a lot of compassion.
Agree that you showed a lot of compassion in not "outing" the woman. who knows what is going on in her life that she felt the need to decieve but clearly she is not receiving much postive attention in her life right now and felt that, that was the way to get it. Way to work the program Blessings
