Thank you....what I didn't post, and much more to the conversation, was the same old response, that I just couldn't listen to.

I don't need help, I'll fix this, I'll figure it out.

That's when I told him, he can't fix it until he admits to himself there is a problem with his drinking.

He will never admit it.  I know that.  I guess I'm just trying to figure something out for me.  Good or bad, I felt like after reading so much today, that I needed to do something to feel as if I was taking control.

God knows I need to have some kind of control over my whacked out life.

I feel so much like you indicated in your post.  I keep believing in him, I keep having the trust broken, and I keep feeling like such a foolish jerk.

Thanks for the positive thoughts, and knowing that someday I will be confident as you and the other lovely people here are.