Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lala03044 · Lala03044

Hello, I have not visited this forum in quite some time. I'm grateful it is still available. I don't dare tell anyone how I'm really feeling about my marriage right now, not even my sponsor. My sponsor is dealing with her own marriage to a recovering a. Hubby and I were married in 1990. Growing up...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Interesting, but something snapped inside me last week in a good way. I'm sure it's related to me working on myself, a little more than usual but I'm suddenly not feeling as down as I was. In fact I feel happy! Not that things have improved all that much at home, maybe not at all. But it's bothering me le...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm trying to decide if my husband is an alcoholic. I know - duh - I should probably go to a meeting, but I go back and forth deciding if its for me. Here's the background info, maybe some of you can help. My husband, Scott, has always loved his beer, but he never had a problem with it un...

Evian · Evian

I was working my program the night it all happened. Walking away from situations that I deemed uncalled for, which led to him having more anger. Police were called, blah blah blah, anyway, we have been told to separate, he is not to be around the kids. If he wants to see them, the worker (from Childrens Ai...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Just curious on this... Do they need a recovery program as bad as we do? Can they be normal happy people without following the steps & attending meetings? Do they all have the "Dry Drunk" syndrome if they are not working a program? My RAH, tells me his new job & new location is all he ne...

linbaba · linbaba

Over on the CODA Board we are starting a Book study and a step study, it's based on Melody Beatty Books, but truthfully the step study will be using (and I quote) "I am going to be using "The Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps" as my core resource in starting the step threads for this...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

Ok I'm going to try to keep this short because if I described all the craziness that happened it would take me forever and trigger me and I wouldn't be in a good place bringing it all back up. My ex-abf broke up with me months ago which at the time I thought was the worst thing that ever happened to me because I...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, I had such a good enlightening day yesterday, and I'm very thankful for it because today has been a true test. Husband got up this morning all hung over of course from his birthday celebration last night, and would not stop trying to fight with me. I hid in the bedroom for a while and when I came out...

pinkchip · pinkchip

By sheer coincidence, my alcoholic ex lives across the street from my current boyfriend. I started having minimal contact with him again after about 2 years of no contact. His life is still so out of control and turbulent. He has made friends will all the other neighbors around who drink and use dru...

Tracy · Tracy

I am having a break from my Sober ABF (7 months). As I have nmentioned I need to get off his back and focus on me. However I am missing him so much I really just want to ring him and sort it out. But he does not live his life how I want to, he is in early recovery and can not be a true partner we are both sick and nee...

Rora · Rora

As some of you may know my Mom has recently passed away. There is so much about that fact to deal with that it makes my head and tummy hurt. The rainbow of emotion is so colourful and psychodelic. As with many families under these circumstances, sometimes there are rifts about money and the wishes of t...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I went to the meeting with my AH's outpatient counsellor today. I have decided I don't want to be involved in his recovery. I am opting out of further sessions. He can continue attending on his own. I have done a lot of thinking and praying the last little while. And I have taken inventory of my actio...

Steph444 · Steph444

A few hours ago, I thought of posting here. Today is my husbands birthday, and, of course, he isn't home. I didn't expect him to be. I haven't heard from him all day. Most of the day I've been feeling down, remembering birthdays in the past....all that stuff. So, I logged onto the meeting here t...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Well, last June I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was a speaker's meeting, so I didn't have to sweat having to say anything. After is was over, I quickly showed myself to the door. I'm going back tonight. I'm going to stick around this time 'cuz I feel the need. Let ya all know how it goes.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic at the meeting I went to tonight was maturity. Interesting, I never would have identified myself as immature before I started going to Al Anon. If anything, it was quite the opposite--I was extremely mature, thank you very much! But after learning a few key elements of the program I realized...

blender_girl · blender_girl

My son woke up with a sore throat, strep is going around, so we will be the first ones at the doctor's office this morning at 8AM CST. Hopefully someone can step in and run the meeting today. Thanks! bg

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (family) we are okay; actually just outside of the tidal wave zone and at a higher elevation than the people who got sea damage. My wife just let me know that one person on the other side (west) of the island lost a house to the ocean. Connected family in Japan is okay...in a different provie...

Crossroad · Crossroad

I have been down this road before. Lost my way. Now I am back looking for the strength to once again know that I can't fix it all. Believe me, I know that. But a recent blow caught me off guard and here I am close to panic mode.

blender_girl · blender_girl

It's been a very long time since I last posted - shame on me! I'm still here, though. Still chairing the Friday AM meetings unless something comes up. This is a vital link to my program, for which I am extremely grateful. I'm giving you fair warning - this will be long! So what's been going on with blen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel very anxious today & I really don't know why? I am just feeling like life is passing me by sometimes & also feel like I need to reach out again. So, I get on MIP & tell it like it is. I have a very supportive husband & mother who are right there when I need them. Is that enough? sometime...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Sometimes it is really back to basics for me. Nothing more and nothing less. These little sayings can sometimes sound quite glib, but really, they are gems. When there are too many things to take on board and everything seems to be a bit too much I have to get down to PRACTICAL RESONSIBLE LIVING and sim...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, all: This is the first time in many months I have posted a thread of my own. My H of 22 years is an 8 months' sober A. I go to f2f Al Anon meetings, although with my insanely busy work schedule and traveling, I probably only get to one a month. I come here several times a week. My issue is that I am starting...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, My partner been sober for nearly 7 months now, he was in rehab for 5 months and has been in supported living for nearly 2 months. I am getting on with my own life but I am finding that I am becoming really impatient. He has been told by hospitl he needs n op on his foot. He says this could take up...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I feel like I am making some bad decisions and feeling like a screw up. Yes I am a perfectionist and tend to be hard on myself, but I am also a wreck right now. At work yesterday my boss told me that I was having conversations with customers that were inappropriate and he was right, before I could own my actio...

heartlessxxnoise · heartlessxxnoise

I just turned 23 recently and found myself in the absolute worse place in my life. I've realized that drinking has taken over my entire life. I awake up and one of the first things I think about is what I am going to drink and when...just in order to feel alright. I never had a real drink until I was a sophomor...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I read my books this morning and tried to hold my situation up to the serenity prayer. I rang my sober BF. I told him I was getting at him because my needs were not getting met. We chatted about for a while it was quite upsetting you see I love him but he is only 7 months sober and I have given my al...

Steph444 · Steph444

I went to two more alanon meetings last evening and I realize that I am not comfortable at any of them. I have always been a lone soul. I hate crowds and groups. I love what they have to offer, but is that the only option? Would a private counselor be as effective? I see the wisdom here, and I want more th...

Limey · Limey

I'm new to Al-Anon and I'm looking for some perspectives on controlling behaviour and enabling. Essentially I have had enough of my alcoholic partner's behaviour and I have ended the relationship because I can no longer tolerate being lied to, being stolen from and being on the receiving end of insu...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Does anybody have any experience with the 'harm reduction' model of alcohol addiction treatment? I had never heard of it before. I found out this week that it is the model used at the out patient treatment center my husband is attending. I am really concerned about this. Seems like they are setting h...

Overcome · Overcome

Wanted to make MIP members aware of something that happened at Friday morning's meeting. I suggested the topic of "creating chaos" as it is described in our ODAAT daily reader. Someone else mentioned the topic of Stop and Think (or something to that effect). A MIP member gave a &quo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Today I was thinking about how several years ago, before I had any recovery, a counselor said, "Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is INSANE." It occurred to me what a different meaning this statement has to me now. I've heard people say it often in meetin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When I hear about all that is going on in the world today, it makes me so grateful! I have a safe place to live(so far) & hope for the future. I haven't had to struggle w/ much as far as Mother Nature rocking my world really since 1996 when our area was flooded. It is kinda funny to tell the story now but the...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I wrote earlier this week about my AH being away at his parents for the week. I stated how much I enjoyed his absence. Well...he's coming back tomorrow and I don't want him to! My stomach is starting to act up and I think it is the stress of knowing he is returning. I was having a huge belly-laugh with my girl...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Been missing you all here, and deeply feel it. Truly in survival mode. Its the 6th night I've been up with my daughter who has a broken shoulder. Surgery to be determined, in the meantime it is vicodin and advil every 5 hrs or so. I was stingy at first, giving only one vicodin, but the pain was pretty muc...

swisfun1 · swisfun1

After some time I kicked my boyfriend out. He has been using ever day since and now is using drugs. I know he lies, his family tells me he is a great liar; but today the threats are bad. He says he owes a dealer money (it has gone from $100 to now $42) and I won't give him any. He has stolen so much. Now he say...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, I sat down this morning and wrote out my exit strategy. Only is keeps me living here for way too long. 17 months to be exact. Hopefully I'll be able to shave a couple of months off that. I'll keep working on that. I went to bed last night and all was well. Got the text earlier in the evening saying m...

Gailey · Gailey

Following the earthquake in Japan, the U.S. State Department "strongly urges U.S. citizens to avoid tourism and non-essential travel to Japan" through April 1. I am suppose to be traveling to Japan on 3/25 to see my granddaughter, my son and his wife. My granddaughter will turn 1 year old...

Rora · Rora

I am struggling with FEAR. I think I always have, I am just learning more and more about it and it is at the forefront of my awareness now. Like many here, I have a history of being quite reactive. My reactiveness would be an emotional reaction to a situation that I am realizing now was almost always lin...

nmike · nmike

I was coming out of the gym and a woman stopped me. She knows me from attending AA meetings (no Alanon here-but I offer to hold a separate meeting). She said that she attend ed AA to support her boyfriend. They have since broken up and he continues to drink. She expressed her disappointment, she was hurt,...

lifegoezon21 · lifegoezon21

I don't know if anyone here can help me with some ideas but I figure it's worth a shot. My 26 yo brother has been struggling with alcoholism & drug addiction for almost 10 years now. He's spent time in jail,gone to mandated (aka crappy) rehabs, and been close to death twice. It breaks my heart to see hi...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

My AH went to be with his parents for the week. This is the first time we have been apart in ages. I am a teacher, and he was there all through summer vacation and Christmas Break (b/c he is unable to work due to his withdrawal from benzodiazipines). This week I am on March Break. When he decided to go to his pa...

BEACHCOL · BEACHCOL

I could go on forever but I will try and summarize, after liviing with an active AH for 20 years I filed for divorce after a crisis. After I filed, I came to realize I did it out of anger and hurt and withdrew the complaint. My AH has now turned me into the victim and is saying how I have hurt him for the past 20 ye...

Unenlightened · Unenlightened

Hi, I am 51 and have a group a friends who have been together since Junior High. Lately, we all gather twice a year for an extended weekend and play nickle poker, chat, play some dics golf, etc.... We have a Super Bowl weekend coming up at my place. We often drink wine while playing poker or with dinner, but...

member922 · member922

and leave the rest? I have learned a lot from this program and in therapy. I am using better judgment, I think. My question. I don't live with my Abf. I spend a fair amount of time with him, mostly at my place where I don't have to be around his habit and he is also not under the influence. He has started hel...

freeagain · freeagain

Jerry and Aloha and all the rest of our Hawaiian friends.....prayers on the way for all and Japan.

Debilyn · Debilyn

Is there anyone else from MIP in Hawaii? Jerry my son called and told me whats going on. You were the first person I thought of! I hope you and yours are ok! Please check in if only for a minute brother! You know I love you! Debbers....

Gailey · Gailey

Hope you are in a safe place. Praying for all in Hawaii now. Tsunami to hit 9:00 EST

livin4him · livin4him

Hi all! I am new to this forum but have been reading for a few days. Hubby is in rehab and have to say it is a relief. We've been together 20 years and have a wonderful life so I don't really understand why he puts it all in jeopardy to use. Anyway, just reading it looks like there is not much hope for relatio...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well I have not attended a F2F meeting in quite a while. Hardly have time. My best friend calls me an "optimist" considering it all....but I'm not sure for now. She's definitley not program, and I need program and this is the best I can do for now so bear with me please. Schools taken up quite a b...

knowmadic · knowmadic

So AH and I have been separated for almost 2 months now. He is living back at home with his mom. He is still drinking and smoking weed. I have been doing my program and have learned so many new tools and skills. We agreed to try to "work on ourselves" and being together. I realized the 2 do n...

Honeypie · Honeypie

Just wondering....how do you handle the naysayers in your life? The people on the outside, the ones who think they are helpful but make comments that are hurtful? I have a friend who thinks I am dumb for hoping A bf sticks to his AA program. Thinks I should just cut ties and run. I am hopeful and encouraged...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I am noticing a bit of a trend around my house lately. A lack of respect. No repsect for others. No respect for things. No respect for self. And it seems to be universally affecting all who live here. I don't think it's new. I think it's been here for quite some time. I just never really had a name for...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Last night, a few things our preteen DD and DS said are weighing heavily on me. As I went into our DS's room to say good-night, he said: DS: "I asked Dad when we could take a trip to Grandma's." (MIL lives about 1000 miles away and we haven't been to their house in 4-5 years--though they come to v...

kkth63 · kkth63

I know this is going to sound really naive of me. I'm not sure if my boyfriend who I have been living with for 4 years is considered an alcoholic or not. I would say he is, but just need to get some help deciding what to do. He is self employed and keeps alcohol in his fridge at work. He has lots of friends who s...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi All... Sorry I have been Gone for a Bit, things here are their Usual Insanity only this time of year it dont have to do the Many A's in my life... Just the Usual, Work Slow, Tax Season :( (Should say Uncle Sam Pay out) ... Soccer, Spring Cleanin... You name it its on my "To Do List".... I'm sitti...

Evian · Evian

So, today was like any other day. AH started drinking around 11 am. No issues all day until kids came home from school. I was spending some time with one of the boys, and AH starts saying how I show the kids too much affection, and they dont have to have so much attention. It went from there to other things, a...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Sadly my wife plummeted into a relapse last week. She was making life threatening decisions during the binge. I had been contemplating divorce but held off for a while. I'm not sure how "normal" it is, but this was the worst episode yet. Driving, drinking cleaning solution in an at...

Jennifer · Jennifer

My big old ego was having fun with me pushing this idea that I needed to forgive something I was not quite grasping yet. It must be in my nature to look externally when I starthaving those thoughts of there is something you need to do and it has to do with this topic. But as I was meditating on what exactly was...

hazeleyed · hazeleyed

I recently was told by our couples therapist that I needed to read a book called It Will Never Happen to me by claudia black. I could totally relate to this book and realized I am truly an ACA. I started attending ACA meetings a week prior to new years 2011. I've been with the same man for 2.5 years and I NOW r...

Evian · Evian

so, I just found out that AH will be in the hospital for a few days. He's meeting with the crisis team, then talking to a psychatrist. Its so peaceful here without all that! I don't think I want him back here... I'm not some cold hearted b@%$^ that doesn't care about his well being, I still care.. I just don...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Confused About Dry Drunk and my Marriage (Preview) Hello, I have not visited this forum in quite some time. I'm grateful it is still available. I don't dare tell anyone how I'm really feeling about my marriage right now, not even my sponsor. My sponsor is dealing with her own marriage to a recovering a. Hubby and I were married in 1990. Growing up...	Lala03044	9	7060	Mar 17, 2011 by Lala03044
	strangely serene.....and grateful. (Preview) Interesting, but something snapped inside me last week in a good way. I'm sure it's related to me working on myself, a little more than usual but I'm suddenly not feeling as down as I was. In fact I feel happy! Not that things have improved all that much at home, maybe not at all. But it's bothering me le...	mjhyankees	5	616	Mar 17, 2011 by Lala03044
	New - my story. Help and advice please! (Preview) Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm trying to decide if my husband is an alcoholic. I know - duh - I should probably go to a meeting, but I go back and forth deciding if its for me. Here's the background info, maybe some of you can help. My husband, Scott, has always loved his beer, but he never had a problem with it un...	nadjjaa	15	918	Mar 17, 2011 by nadjjaa
	I was doing so well.. and know it's all for the best (Preview) I was working my program the night it all happened. Walking away from situations that I deemed uncalled for, which led to him having more anger. Police were called, blah blah blah, anyway, we have been told to separate, he is not to be around the kids. If he wants to see them, the worker (from Childrens Ai...	Evian	7	815	Mar 17, 2011 by buick23
	Do they need a RECOVERY PROGRAM as bad as we do??? (Preview) Just curious on this... Do they need a recovery program as bad as we do? Can they be normal happy people without following the steps & attending meetings? Do they all have the "Dry Drunk" syndrome if they are not working a program? My RAH, tells me his new job & new location is all he ne...	KimmyJo	10	904	Mar 17, 2011 by danielle0516
	Book and Step Study (Preview) Over on the CODA Board we are starting a Book study and a step study, it's based on Melody Beatty Books, but truthfully the step study will be using (and I quote) "I am going to be using "The Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps" as my core resource in starting the step threads for this...	linbaba	0	2877	Mar 16, 2011 by linbaba
	Ex-abf Weird MindGames, Powerplays, and Emotional Rollercoaster rides (Preview) Ok I'm going to try to keep this short because if I described all the craziness that happened it would take me forever and trigger me and I wouldn't be in a good place bringing it all back up. My ex-abf broke up with me months ago which at the time I thought was the worst thing that ever happened to me because I...	Stillalive2dream	5	3019	Mar 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	What a Difference A Day Makes (Preview) Well, I had such a good enlightening day yesterday, and I'm very thankful for it because today has been a true test. Husband got up this morning all hung over of course from his birthday celebration last night, and would not stop trying to fight with me. I hid in the bedroom for a while and when I came out...	Steph444	3	654	Mar 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	HP wants me to be reminded of what it was like (Preview) By sheer coincidence, my alcoholic ex lives across the street from my current boyfriend. I started having minimal contact with him again after about 2 years of no contact. His life is still so out of control and turbulent. He has made friends will all the other neighbors around who drink and use dru...	pinkchip	8	761	Mar 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	faith (Preview) I am having a break from my Sober ABF (7 months). As I have nmentioned I need to get off his back and focus on me. However I am missing him so much I really just want to ring him and sort it out. But he does not live his life how I want to, he is in early recovery and can not be a true partner we are both sick and nee...	Tracy	2	645	Mar 16, 2011 by kitty
	I had to bring it here.... Off Topic.... a bit long.... (Preview) As some of you may know my Mom has recently passed away. There is so much about that fact to deal with that it makes my head and tummy hurt. The rainbow of emotion is so colourful and psychodelic. As with many families under these circumstances, sometimes there are rifts about money and the wishes of t...	Rora	8	728	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Opting out. (Preview) I went to the meeting with my AH's outpatient counsellor today. I have decided I don't want to be involved in his recovery. I am opting out of further sessions. He can continue attending on his own. I have done a lot of thinking and praying the last little while. And I have taken inventory of my actio...	searching4peace	8	1081	Mar 16, 2011 by kitty
	What a Day (Preview) A few hours ago, I thought of posting here. Today is my husbands birthday, and, of course, he isn't home. I didn't expect him to be. I haven't heard from him all day. Most of the day I've been feeling down, remembering birthdays in the past....all that stuff. So, I logged onto the meeting here t...	Steph444	6	843	Mar 16, 2011 by Bettina
	I'm Gonna Do It! (Preview) Well, last June I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was a speaker's meeting, so I didn't have to sweat having to say anything. After is was over, I quickly showed myself to the door. I'm going back tonight. I'm going to stick around this time 'cuz I feel the need. Let ya all know how it goes.	GailMichelle	9	855	Mar 16, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Maturity (Preview) The topic at the meeting I went to tonight was maturity. Interesting, I never would have identified myself as immature before I started going to Al Anon. If anything, it was quite the opposite--I was extremely mature, thank you very much! But after learning a few key elements of the program I realized...	usedtobeanyer	3	851	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Sorry for the late notice, but I need someone to chair this morning's meeting!!! (Preview) My son woke up with a sore throat, strep is going around, so we will be the first ones at the doctor's office this morning at 8AM CST. Hopefully someone can step in and run the meeting today. Thanks! bg	blender_girl	1	1511	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	MIP = Love (Preview) Aloha Ohana (family) we are okay; actually just outside of the tidal wave zone and at a higher elevation than the people who got sea damage. My wife just let me know that one person on the other side (west) of the island lost a house to the ocean. Connected family in Japan is okay...in a different provie...	Jerry F	19	1187	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Hanging by a thread (Preview) I have been down this road before. Lost my way. Now I am back looking for the strength to once again know that I can't fix it all. Believe me, I know that. But a recent blow caught me off guard and here I am close to panic mode.	Crossroad	7	1114	Mar 15, 2011 by Crossroad
	The Power of Conscious Decisions (Preview) It's been a very long time since I last posted - shame on me! I'm still here, though. Still chairing the Friday AM meetings unless something comes up. This is a vital link to my program, for which I am extremely grateful. I'm giving you fair warning - this will be long! So what's been going on with blen...	blender_girl	7	863	Mar 15, 2011 by likemyheart
	more anxiety! (Preview) I feel very anxious today & I really don't know why? I am just feeling like life is passing me by sometimes & also feel like I need to reach out again. So, I get on MIP & tell it like it is. I have a very supportive husband & mother who are right there when I need them. Is that enough? sometime...	Hoot Nanny	4	672	Mar 15, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude (Preview) Sometimes it is really back to basics for me. Nothing more and nothing less. These little sayings can sometimes sound quite glib, but really, they are gems. When there are too many things to take on board and everything seems to be a bit too much I have to get down to PRACTICAL RESONSIBLE LIVING and sim...	Suzannah	2	1438	Mar 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Anniversaries (Preview) Hi, all: This is the first time in many months I have posted a thread of my own. My H of 22 years is an 8 months' sober A. I go to f2f Al Anon meetings, although with my insanely busy work schedule and traveling, I probably only get to one a month. I come here several times a week. My issue is that I am starting...	Cloudsea	9	639	Mar 15, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Acceptance (Preview) Hi everyone, My partner been sober for nearly 7 months now, he was in rehab for 5 months and has been in supported living for nearly 2 months. I am getting on with my own life but I am finding that I am becoming really impatient. He has been told by hospitl he needs n op on his foot. He says this could take up...	Tracy	5	448	Mar 15, 2011 by kitty
	Messing up (Preview) I feel like I am making some bad decisions and feeling like a screw up. Yes I am a perfectionist and tend to be hard on myself, but I am also a wreck right now. At work yesterday my boss told me that I was having conversations with customers that were inappropriate and he was right, before I could own my actio...	flopadopilus	6	977	Mar 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I'm new (Preview) I just turned 23 recently and found myself in the absolute worse place in my life. I've realized that drinking has taken over my entire life. I awake up and one of the first things I think about is what I am going to drink and when...just in order to feel alright. I never had a real drink until I was a sophomor...	heartlessxxnoise	9	843	Mar 15, 2011 by kitty
	space. (Preview) Hi everyone, I read my books this morning and tried to hold my situation up to the serenity prayer. I rang my sober BF. I told him I was getting at him because my needs were not getting met. We chatted about for a while it was quite upsetting you see I love him but he is only 7 months sober and I have given my al...	Tracy	4	765	Mar 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Without alanon (Preview) I went to two more alanon meetings last evening and I realize that I am not comfortable at any of them. I have always been a lone soul. I hate crowds and groups. I love what they have to offer, but is that the only option? Would a private counselor be as effective? I see the wisdom here, and I want more th...	Steph444	15	1611	Mar 14, 2011 by Steph444
	Controlling Behaviour and enabling (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon and I'm looking for some perspectives on controlling behaviour and enabling. Essentially I have had enough of my alcoholic partner's behaviour and I have ended the relationship because I can no longer tolerate being lied to, being stolen from and being on the receiving end of insu...	Limey	4	1424	Mar 14, 2011 by pinkchip
	Harm Reduction? (Preview) Does anybody have any experience with the 'harm reduction' model of alcohol addiction treatment? I had never heard of it before. I found out this week that it is the model used at the out patient treatment center my husband is attending. I am really concerned about this. Seems like they are setting h...	searching4peace	7	1186	Mar 14, 2011 by pinkchip
	"The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved" (closed) (Preview) Wanted to make MIP members aware of something that happened at Friday morning's meeting. I suggested the topic of "creating chaos" as it is described in our ODAAT daily reader. Someone else mentioned the topic of Stop and Think (or something to that effect). A MIP member gave a &quo...	Overcome	3	858	Mar 14, 2011 by hotrod
	Doing the same thing over and over (Preview) Today I was thinking about how several years ago, before I had any recovery, a counselor said, "Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is INSANE." It occurred to me what a different meaning this statement has to me now. I've heard people say it often in meetin...	White Rabbit	5	749	Mar 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	boy I sure am grateful! (Preview) When I hear about all that is going on in the world today, it makes me so grateful! I have a safe place to live(so far) & hope for the future. I haven't had to struggle w/ much as far as Mother Nature rocking my world really since 1996 when our area was flooded. It is kinda funny to tell the story now but the...	Hoot Nanny	4	715	Mar 13, 2011 by Lala03044
	hubby returning tomorrow...ugh (Preview) I wrote earlier this week about my AH being away at his parents for the week. I stated how much I enjoyed his absence. Well...he's coming back tomorrow and I don't want him to! My stomach is starting to act up and I think it is the stress of knowing he is returning. I was having a huge belly-laugh with my girl...	looking_for_peace	3	873	Mar 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	survival mode and round 2 (Preview) Been missing you all here, and deeply feel it. Truly in survival mode. Its the 6th night I've been up with my daughter who has a broken shoulder. Surgery to be determined, in the meantime it is vicodin and advil every 5 hrs or so. I was stingy at first, giving only one vicodin, but the pain was pretty muc...	Loupiness	5	725	Mar 12, 2011 by nmike
	Do they ever stop with threats? (Preview) After some time I kicked my boyfriend out. He has been using ever day since and now is using drugs. I know he lies, his family tells me he is a great liar; but today the threats are bad. He says he owes a dealer money (it has gone from $100 to now $42) and I won't give him any. He has stolen so much. Now he say...	swisfun1	7	970	Mar 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Exit plan and 2am events (Preview) Well, I sat down this morning and wrote out my exit strategy. Only is keeps me living here for way too long. 17 months to be exact. Hopefully I'll be able to shave a couple of months off that. I'll keep working on that. I went to bed last night and all was well. Got the text earlier in the evening saying m...	Steph444	3	754	Mar 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	I cannot believe this is happening (Preview) *Following the earthquake in Japan, the U.S. State Department "strongly urges U.S. citizens to avoid tourism and non-essential travel to Japan" through April 1*. I am suppose to be traveling to Japan on 3/25 to see my granddaughter, my son and his wife. My granddaughter will turn 1 year old...	Gailey	4	776	Mar 12, 2011 by Christy
	the "F" word..... FEAR.... (Preview) I am struggling with FEAR. I think I always have, I am just learning more and more about it and it is at the forefront of my awareness now. Like many here, I have a history of being quite reactive. My reactiveness would be an emotional reaction to a situation that I am realizing now was almost always lin...	Rora	8	772	Mar 12, 2011 by Lala03044
	A Gift (Preview) I was coming out of the gym and a woman stopped me. She knows me from attending AA meetings (no Alanon here-but I offer to hold a separate meeting). She said that she attend ed AA to support her boyfriend. They have since broken up and he continues to drink. She expressed her disappointment, she was hurt,...	nmike	4	770	Mar 12, 2011 by Karilynn
	Rehab (Preview) I don't know if anyone here can help me with some ideas but I figure it's worth a shot. My 26 yo brother has been struggling with alcoholism & drug addiction for almost 10 years now. He's spent time in jail,gone to mandated (aka crappy) rehabs, and been close to death twice. It breaks my heart to see hi...	lifegoezon21	4	1174	Mar 11, 2011 by supermom
	Loving his absence...but feel guilty about it (Preview) My AH went to be with his parents for the week. This is the first time we have been apart in ages. I am a teacher, and he was there all through summer vacation and Christmas Break (b/c he is unable to work due to his withdrawal from benzodiazipines). This week I am on March Break. When he decided to go to his pa...	looking_for_peace	7	709	Mar 11, 2011 by supermom
	INSANITY at it's best (Preview) I could go on forever but I will try and summarize, after liviing with an active AH for 20 years I filed for divorce after a crisis. After I filed, I came to realize I did it out of anger and hurt and withdrew the complaint. My AH has now turned me into the victim and is saying how I have hurt him for the past 20 ye...	BEACHCOL	3	745	Mar 11, 2011 by Rora
	Newbie in need of advice. (Preview) Hi, I am 51 and have a group a friends who have been together since Junior High. Lately, we all gather twice a year for an extended weekend and play nickle poker, chat, play some dics golf, etc.... We have a Super Bowl weekend coming up at my place. We often drink wine while playing poker or with dinner, but...	Unenlightened	5	828	Mar 11, 2011 by Unenlightened
	Is it always alright to take what you like... (Preview) and leave the rest? I have learned a lot from this program and in therapy. I am using better judgment, I think. My question. I don't live with my Abf. I spend a fair amount of time with him, mostly at my place where I don't have to be around his habit and he is also not under the influence. He has started hel...	member922	7	826	Mar 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	Stay Dry Hawaii (Preview) Jerry and Aloha and all the rest of our Hawaiian friends.....prayers on the way for all and Japan.	freeagain	1	819	Mar 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	JERRY CHECK IN PLEASE!! (Preview) Is there anyone else from MIP in Hawaii? Jerry my son called and told me whats going on. You were the first person I thought of! I hope you and yours are ok! Please check in if only for a minute brother! You know I love you! Debbers....	Debilyn	4	817	Mar 11, 2011 by Suzannah
	Jerry (Preview) Hope you are in a safe place. Praying for all in Hawaii now. Tsunami to hit 9:00 EST	Gailey	3	807	Mar 11, 2011 by Suzannah
	New and really don't understand (Preview) Hi all! I am new to this forum but have been reading for a few days. Hubby is in rehab and have to say it is a relief. We've been together 20 years and have a wonderful life so I don't really understand why he puts it all in jeopardy to use. Anyway, just reading it looks like there is not much hope for relatio...	livin4him	11	1462	Mar 11, 2011 by livin4him
	Optomist? Not sure.... (Preview) Well I have not attended a F2F meeting in quite a while. Hardly have time. My best friend calls me an "optimist" considering it all....but I'm not sure for now. She's definitley not program, and I need program and this is the best I can do for now so bear with me please. Schools taken up quite a b...	RoseODAT	2	851	Mar 11, 2011 by kitty
	Do I need to respond? (Preview) So AH and I have been separated for almost 2 months now. He is living back at home with his mom. He is still drinking and smoking weed. I have been doing my program and have learned so many new tools and skills. We agreed to try to "work on ourselves" and being together. I realized the 2 do n...	knowmadic	7	768	Mar 11, 2011 by knowmadic
	How do you handle the naysayers? (Preview) Just wondering....how do you handle the naysayers in your life? The people on the outside, the ones who think they are helpful but make comments that are hurtful? I have a friend who thinks I am dumb for hoping A bf sticks to his AA program. Thinks I should just cut ties and run. I am hopeful and encouraged...	Honeypie	11	1146	Mar 11, 2011 by Rora
	Self respect. (Preview) I am noticing a bit of a trend around my house lately. A lack of respect. No repsect for others. No respect for things. No respect for self. And it seems to be universally affecting all who live here. I don't think it's new. I think it's been here for quite some time. I just never really had a name for...	searching4peace	3	1165	Mar 11, 2011 by abbyal
	Guiding children through the maze of an A household (Preview) Last night, a few things our preteen DD and DS said are weighing heavily on me. As I went into our DS's room to say good-night, he said: DS: "I asked Dad when we could take a trip to Grandma's." (MIL lives about 1000 miles away and we haven't been to their house in 4-5 years--though they come to v...	Very Very Tired	9	901	Mar 11, 2011 by doritobreath
	Don't know what to do (Preview) I know this is going to sound really naive of me. I'm not sure if my boyfriend who I have been living with for 4 years is considered an alcoholic or not. I would say he is, but just need to get some help deciding what to do. He is self employed and keeps alcohol in his fridge at work. He has lots of friends who s...	kkth63	5	661	Mar 10, 2011 by kkth63
	As the Water Rises.... (Preview) Hi All... Sorry I have been Gone for a Bit, things here are their Usual Insanity only this time of year it dont have to do the Many A's in my life... Just the Usual, Work Slow, Tax Season :( (Should say Uncle Sam Pay out) ... Soccer, Spring Cleanin... You name it its on my "To Do List".... I'm sitti...	Jozie	3	1171	Mar 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	gotta love all the fun stuff we have to deal with (Preview) So, today was like any other day. AH started drinking around 11 am. No issues all day until kids came home from school. I was spending some time with one of the boys, and AH starts saying how I show the kids too much affection, and they dont have to have so much attention. It went from there to other things, a...	Evian	9	658	Mar 10, 2011 by Evian
	intervention ... pointless? (Preview) Sadly my wife plummeted into a relapse last week. She was making life threatening decisions during the binge. I had been contemplating divorce but held off for a while. I'm not sure how "normal" it is, but this was the worst episode yet. Driving, drinking cleaning solution in an at...	DadtoCandE	10	961	Mar 9, 2011 by Aloha
	Back on track (Preview) My big old ego was having fun with me pushing this idea that I needed to forgive something I was not quite grasping yet. It must be in my nature to look externally when I starthaving those thoughts of there is something you need to do and it has to do with this topic. But as I was meditating on what exactly was...	Jennifer	2	593	Mar 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	new here and I am venting....sorry (Preview) I recently was told by our couples therapist that I needed to read a book called It Will Never Happen to me by claudia black. I could totally relate to this book and realized I am truly an ACA. I started attending ACA meetings a week prior to new years 2011. I've been with the same man for 2.5 years and I NOW r...	hazeleyed	6	851	Mar 9, 2011 by hazeleyed
	Update Re: gotta love.... (Preview) so, I just found out that AH will be in the hospital for a few days. He's meeting with the crisis team, then talking to a psychatrist. Its so peaceful here without all that! I don't think I want him back here... I'm not some cold hearted b@%$^ that doesn't care about his well being, I still care.. I just don...	Evian	6	1081	Mar 9, 2011 by Evian
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.