Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Loubelou · Loubelou

I have a problem that may seem small when I try and look at it from outside my own head, but to me it's a big deal. My Abf was invited to my friends' wedding, not just as my 'plus one' but named on the invitation. He said great, he'd like to go, and I RSVP'd for both of us. However, now he's going through a really b...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Background first: AH has been living in a trailer in a parking lot for 5 months, stormed outta here determined not to ever come back blah blah blah. He has since worked a temporary position for 4 months, didnt get hired, unemployment not kicking in again for another two weeks. He sends message last ni...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Yesterday I posted that I was afraid to attend meetings, and had even driven to the meetings and turned around and went home. I am PLANNING to go to one Monday night. Whether I will do it or not, well, we shall see. Apparently, God really wants me to go though because today I was sent a sign, loud and clear. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really don't know what to do--my dad is ill & in the hospital & 900 miles away! I can't visit him obviously & I really don't know how he is doing for sure because my family is lax when it comes to calling to let me know the updates of his condition! I feel so out of the loop that it kills me. My imme...

dori711 · dori711

He was getting better and kept his drinking to a low since New Year's but it seems in the last couple weeks he's drinking more, not every day but more than he was. I'm noticing a personality change in him again. He's quick to lose his cool. Simple things set him off, his tone of voice has eve...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I have my good days and bad, and usually they are primarily good. But man, when I have my pissed off days WATCH OUT! I am currently reading "Codependent No More". It's helping me a lot but the activities are really kind of shedding a lot of light on why I am "this way" and I cannot seem...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I tried calling one of the members of my F2F Al-Anon group, but she isn't available. So, I'm turning here. (A bit of background: I'm new to Al-Anon, but have been married to an AH for 18 years.) AH is actively drinking and actively involved in an affair. Yesterday morning, I calmly said, "I do no...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Once again I see how true Let Go and Let God is. I needed to leave the chaos and unhappiness of my AH and my home. I had been thinking about it for afew years...made some inquiries and never followed through...Then I joined Al Anon and I just KNEW I had to go...and the perfect place appeared. There was a snow...

buick23 · buick23

I ended the relationship with my bf who had been sober/dry from alcohol for 4 years now. He started using drugs and acting crazy. I am glad its over but sad. Guess nothing is for sure. I will spare the details. Otherwise I would have to write a book. buick

Abbie · Abbie

I'm new to this and don't really know where to start! i'll try and keep it breif. My partner has been A for about 6 years now, with the usual ups and downs, good and bad times etc. a month before christmas she was referred to our local drug and alcohol service and has been seeing a counsellor and jsut start...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Several posts I read today got me thinking about this. I'm personally doing better but some posts remind me of how I can still have my mood "drop off the table" like a good curveball. Things can be going fine and then the new puppy craps on the floor or a big bill comes out of nowhere and I find m...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Mjhyankees post got me thinking about how I am dealing with stressful situations. When regular stressors hit me at work, I think I handle them "normally". Depending on the stress and the kind of day I am having, I may tackle it with little problem or get a little wacky about it, but eventuall...

gladysg · gladysg

Hubby's psych advised me to go to Al-Anon, and it has been helping. He is not a drunk, but behaves like one. They have him on medicine for PTSD and depression, which do not help him, but he takes the pills. My husband is letting the house fall apart. He doesn't repair anything. He has money but doesn'...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, just wanted to share something that I feel lends intself to the ODAT philosophy...which I think I'm doing better at embracing or practicing. Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Alarm clock didn't go off in the morning, I was exhausted as my dog was really sick the nig...

B_L · B_L

These boards are always full of horror stories and requests for advice on how to handle horrendous situations, but I thankfully don't have any horror stories to tell at the moment. My previously hopelessly drunk girlfriend got her 30-day coin and is doing well, working the program, attending meet...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I got an urgent e-mail this afternoon from one of my wife's friends saying she needs to speak to me about something "urgent and important". This friend does not know my wife has a drinking problem or goes to AA. She said she couldn't live with herself if she didn't do something knowing the kid...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Well, I had a very difficult time finding the meeting place! It was raining, street was rather dark, tall trees all around blocking addresses. I fought back the thought that perhaps I wasn't meant to find the place. But I pressed onward knowing it was just fear. I finally found the place. A lady was...

canyonbarb · canyonbarb

Brief history: I stopped drinking almost 15 years ago and my husband stopped getting drunk 13 years ago. He continued to drink occasionally, one or two beers. Initially, I was scared each beer would reignite his addiction. I didn't understand it, but I let my guard down and began to trust him. I...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Okay one, WHY am I afraid to attend a meeting?? I keep saying I'm going to go. I know I need to go but I always chicken out! I am not antisocial at all and I really know this is something I need to do. Someone please tell me I'm not going to be like one of three people there...I freak out every time! And two, I'm...

xeno59 · xeno59

It saddens me tonight to tell you that I will be stepping down effective immediatly as a chair for the immediate future. The reasoning for this is not of importance to anyone but myself, HP and John. I will just say that upon much prayer and relection it has become clear to me that for now I may not be the bes...

Nutbar · Nutbar

Hi, my wife has been sober for one year which is good for her however I am still very lonely. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and am seeing a psychologist and this is helping. However, if I have an anxious moment and blame my wife for the slightest little thing she throws a tantrum at me and says I'm just t...

samsam · samsam

Hi everyone, I'm new to this space. I've been in recovery for my own addiction for 12 months and doing really well. Unfortunately my wife of 10 years has not coped well with my recovery. I believe she is a "dry" alcoholic, as she put down the single-malt whiskey four years ago and did not enter...

Niecy · Niecy

Long story short, ah of two years, in recovery working the steps. Other then aa and work, he's borderline non functional. I'm running ragged caring for our two young kids, our house, bills, and working myself. He only thinks of himself and when he returns from work, he eats, leaves a trail of mess and go...

Aynot · Aynot

I met my bf 15 years ago. We have a 14 year old child together that he just met for the first time in January this year. He was drunk when he drove 16 hours to our home in Alabama. I was disappointed in him because this was not him 15 years ago. He chose to meet our son for the 1st time and he was drunk. Alcohol has...

Ruby · Ruby

I'm having a difficult time with dealing with my Al/ad daughter and doing what I need to do to stop the enabling I'm doing. Her husband left her with thier 6 y.o. daughter last week, I've been keeping her 16 y.o. son for the past 6 months or more. He is on ss which is her only income since her husband left...

Tracy · Tracy

I shared how I thought Hp wanted me to let go of my sober ABF. Again me rushing into major decisions. Today we spoke he shared how i am on his back all the time attcking him. He is sober, he is attending lots of meeting and mixing with people in recovery. He is taking his time to correct his health he needs...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I am looking for some practical advice regarding finances. I have ran the budget and controled the finances in our family for the last 8 years. For some of that time I worked also but now I am a SAHM. My AH is an active alcoholic at this point in time. Now that you're all caught up here is my dilema. I don...

Lala03044 · Lala03044

Hello, I have not visited this forum in quite some time. I'm grateful it is still available. I don't dare tell anyone how I'm really feeling about my marriage right now, not even my sponsor. My sponsor is dealing with her own marriage to a recovering a. Hubby and I were married in 1990. Growing up...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Interesting, but something snapped inside me last week in a good way. I'm sure it's related to me working on myself, a little more than usual but I'm suddenly not feeling as down as I was. In fact I feel happy! Not that things have improved all that much at home, maybe not at all. But it's bothering me le...

nadjjaa · nadjjaa

Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm trying to decide if my husband is an alcoholic. I know - duh - I should probably go to a meeting, but I go back and forth deciding if its for me. Here's the background info, maybe some of you can help. My husband, Scott, has always loved his beer, but he never had a problem with it un...

Evian · Evian

I was working my program the night it all happened. Walking away from situations that I deemed uncalled for, which led to him having more anger. Police were called, blah blah blah, anyway, we have been told to separate, he is not to be around the kids. If he wants to see them, the worker (from Childrens Ai...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Just curious on this... Do they need a recovery program as bad as we do? Can they be normal happy people without following the steps & attending meetings? Do they all have the "Dry Drunk" syndrome if they are not working a program? My RAH, tells me his new job & new location is all he ne...

linbaba · linbaba

Over on the CODA Board we are starting a Book study and a step study, it's based on Melody Beatty Books, but truthfully the step study will be using (and I quote) "I am going to be using "The Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps" as my core resource in starting the step threads for this...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

Ok I'm going to try to keep this short because if I described all the craziness that happened it would take me forever and trigger me and I wouldn't be in a good place bringing it all back up. My ex-abf broke up with me months ago which at the time I thought was the worst thing that ever happened to me because I...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, I had such a good enlightening day yesterday, and I'm very thankful for it because today has been a true test. Husband got up this morning all hung over of course from his birthday celebration last night, and would not stop trying to fight with me. I hid in the bedroom for a while and when I came out...

pinkchip · pinkchip

By sheer coincidence, my alcoholic ex lives across the street from my current boyfriend. I started having minimal contact with him again after about 2 years of no contact. His life is still so out of control and turbulent. He has made friends will all the other neighbors around who drink and use dru...

Tracy · Tracy

I am having a break from my Sober ABF (7 months). As I have nmentioned I need to get off his back and focus on me. However I am missing him so much I really just want to ring him and sort it out. But he does not live his life how I want to, he is in early recovery and can not be a true partner we are both sick and nee...

Rora · Rora

As some of you may know my Mom has recently passed away. There is so much about that fact to deal with that it makes my head and tummy hurt. The rainbow of emotion is so colourful and psychodelic. As with many families under these circumstances, sometimes there are rifts about money and the wishes of t...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I went to the meeting with my AH's outpatient counsellor today. I have decided I don't want to be involved in his recovery. I am opting out of further sessions. He can continue attending on his own. I have done a lot of thinking and praying the last little while. And I have taken inventory of my actio...

Steph444 · Steph444

A few hours ago, I thought of posting here. Today is my husbands birthday, and, of course, he isn't home. I didn't expect him to be. I haven't heard from him all day. Most of the day I've been feeling down, remembering birthdays in the past....all that stuff. So, I logged onto the meeting here t...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Well, last June I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was a speaker's meeting, so I didn't have to sweat having to say anything. After is was over, I quickly showed myself to the door. I'm going back tonight. I'm going to stick around this time 'cuz I feel the need. Let ya all know how it goes.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic at the meeting I went to tonight was maturity. Interesting, I never would have identified myself as immature before I started going to Al Anon. If anything, it was quite the opposite--I was extremely mature, thank you very much! But after learning a few key elements of the program I realized...

blender_girl · blender_girl

My son woke up with a sore throat, strep is going around, so we will be the first ones at the doctor's office this morning at 8AM CST. Hopefully someone can step in and run the meeting today. Thanks! bg

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Ohana (family) we are okay; actually just outside of the tidal wave zone and at a higher elevation than the people who got sea damage. My wife just let me know that one person on the other side (west) of the island lost a house to the ocean. Connected family in Japan is okay...in a different provie...

Crossroad · Crossroad

I have been down this road before. Lost my way. Now I am back looking for the strength to once again know that I can't fix it all. Believe me, I know that. But a recent blow caught me off guard and here I am close to panic mode.

blender_girl · blender_girl

It's been a very long time since I last posted - shame on me! I'm still here, though. Still chairing the Friday AM meetings unless something comes up. This is a vital link to my program, for which I am extremely grateful. I'm giving you fair warning - this will be long! So what's been going on with blen...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel very anxious today & I really don't know why? I am just feeling like life is passing me by sometimes & also feel like I need to reach out again. So, I get on MIP & tell it like it is. I have a very supportive husband & mother who are right there when I need them. Is that enough? sometime...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Sometimes it is really back to basics for me. Nothing more and nothing less. These little sayings can sometimes sound quite glib, but really, they are gems. When there are too many things to take on board and everything seems to be a bit too much I have to get down to PRACTICAL RESONSIBLE LIVING and sim...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, all: This is the first time in many months I have posted a thread of my own. My H of 22 years is an 8 months' sober A. I go to f2f Al Anon meetings, although with my insanely busy work schedule and traveling, I probably only get to one a month. I come here several times a week. My issue is that I am starting...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, My partner been sober for nearly 7 months now, he was in rehab for 5 months and has been in supported living for nearly 2 months. I am getting on with my own life but I am finding that I am becoming really impatient. He has been told by hospitl he needs n op on his foot. He says this could take up...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I feel like I am making some bad decisions and feeling like a screw up. Yes I am a perfectionist and tend to be hard on myself, but I am also a wreck right now. At work yesterday my boss told me that I was having conversations with customers that were inappropriate and he was right, before I could own my actio...

heartlessxxnoise · heartlessxxnoise

I just turned 23 recently and found myself in the absolute worse place in my life. I've realized that drinking has taken over my entire life. I awake up and one of the first things I think about is what I am going to drink and when...just in order to feel alright. I never had a real drink until I was a sophomor...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I read my books this morning and tried to hold my situation up to the serenity prayer. I rang my sober BF. I told him I was getting at him because my needs were not getting met. We chatted about for a while it was quite upsetting you see I love him but he is only 7 months sober and I have given my al...

Steph444 · Steph444

I went to two more alanon meetings last evening and I realize that I am not comfortable at any of them. I have always been a lone soul. I hate crowds and groups. I love what they have to offer, but is that the only option? Would a private counselor be as effective? I see the wisdom here, and I want more th...

Limey · Limey

I'm new to Al-Anon and I'm looking for some perspectives on controlling behaviour and enabling. Essentially I have had enough of my alcoholic partner's behaviour and I have ended the relationship because I can no longer tolerate being lied to, being stolen from and being on the receiving end of insu...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Does anybody have any experience with the 'harm reduction' model of alcohol addiction treatment? I had never heard of it before. I found out this week that it is the model used at the out patient treatment center my husband is attending. I am really concerned about this. Seems like they are setting h...

Overcome · Overcome

Wanted to make MIP members aware of something that happened at Friday morning's meeting. I suggested the topic of "creating chaos" as it is described in our ODAAT daily reader. Someone else mentioned the topic of Stop and Think (or something to that effect). A MIP member gave a &quo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Today I was thinking about how several years ago, before I had any recovery, a counselor said, "Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is INSANE." It occurred to me what a different meaning this statement has to me now. I've heard people say it often in meetin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

When I hear about all that is going on in the world today, it makes me so grateful! I have a safe place to live(so far) & hope for the future. I haven't had to struggle w/ much as far as Mother Nature rocking my world really since 1996 when our area was flooded. It is kinda funny to tell the story now but the...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I wrote earlier this week about my AH being away at his parents for the week. I stated how much I enjoyed his absence. Well...he's coming back tomorrow and I don't want him to! My stomach is starting to act up and I think it is the stress of knowing he is returning. I was having a huge belly-laugh with my girl...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Thoughts on a problem (Preview) I have a problem that may seem small when I try and look at it from outside my own head, but to me it's a big deal. My Abf was invited to my friends' wedding, not just as my 'plus one' but named on the invitation. He said great, he'd like to go, and I RSVP'd for both of us. However, now he's going through a really b...	Loubelou	4	1146	Mar 20, 2011 by delhommefan
	another Detachment (Preview) Background first: AH has been living in a trailer in a parking lot for 5 months, stormed outta here determined not to ever come back blah blah blah. He has since worked a temporary position for 4 months, didnt get hired, unemployment not kicking in again for another two weeks. He sends message last ni...	likemyheart	5	838	Mar 20, 2011 by Jerry F
	God sends Angels in Weird Ways Sometimes... (Preview) Yesterday I posted that I was afraid to attend meetings, and had even driven to the meetings and turned around and went home. I am PLANNING to go to one Monday night. Whether I will do it or not, well, we shall see. Apparently, God really wants me to go though because today I was sent a sign, loud and clear. I...	delhommefan	5	1138	Mar 20, 2011 by abbyal
	don't know what to do? my dad is sick! (Preview) I really don't know what to do--my dad is ill & in the hospital & 900 miles away! I can't visit him obviously & I really don't know how he is doing for sure because my family is lax when it comes to calling to let me know the updates of his condition! I feel so out of the loop that it kills me. My imme...	Hoot Nanny	3	938	Mar 20, 2011 by hotrod
	Reverting back? (Preview) He was getting better and kept his drinking to a low since New Year's but it seems in the last couple weeks he's drinking more, not every day but more than he was. I'm noticing a personality change in him again. He's quick to lose his cool. Simple things set him off, his tone of voice has eve...	dori711	9	983	Mar 20, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Why Am I So Angry? (Preview) I have my good days and bad, and usually they are primarily good. But man, when I have my pissed off days WATCH OUT! I am currently reading "Codependent No More". It's helping me a lot but the activities are really kind of shedding a lot of light on why I am "this way" and I cannot seem...	delhommefan	3	1107	Mar 20, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Need some Al-Anon perspective on my failures (Preview) I tried calling one of the members of my F2F Al-Anon group, but she isn't available. So, I'm turning here. (A bit of background: I'm new to Al-Anon, but have been married to an AH for 18 years.) AH is actively drinking and actively involved in an affair. Yesterday morning, I calmly said, "I do no...	Very Very Tired	10	1153	Mar 20, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	My HP has appeared (Preview) Once again I see how true Let Go and Let God is. I needed to leave the chaos and unhappiness of my AH and my home. I had been thinking about it for afew years...made some inquiries and never followed through...Then I joined Al Anon and I just KNEW I had to go...and the perfect place appeared. There was a snow...	alexmaui	6	867	Mar 20, 2011 by Lala03044
	ended relationship (Preview) I ended the relationship with my bf who had been sober/dry from alcohol for 4 years now. He started using drugs and acting crazy. I am glad its over but sad. Guess nothing is for sure. I will spare the details. Otherwise I would have to write a book. buick	buick23	9	1084	Mar 19, 2011 by buick23
	What do I do now? (Preview) I'm new to this and don't really know where to start! i'll try and keep it breif. My partner has been A for about 6 years now, with the usual ups and downs, good and bad times etc. a month before christmas she was referred to our local drug and alcohol service and has been seeing a counsellor and jsut start...	Abbie	5	1095	Mar 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	How not to be affected? (Preview) Several posts I read today got me thinking about this. I'm personally doing better but some posts remind me of how I can still have my mood "drop off the table" like a good curveball. Things can be going fine and then the new puppy craps on the floor or a big bill comes out of nowhere and I find m...	mjhyankees	5	1052	Mar 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Detaching but forgetting the love part? (Preview) Mjhyankees post got me thinking about how I am dealing with stressful situations. When regular stressors hit me at work, I think I handle them "normally". Depending on the stress and the kind of day I am having, I may tackle it with little problem or get a little wacky about it, but eventuall...	looking_for_peace	5	1026	Mar 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Power of Attorney (Preview) Hubby's psych advised me to go to Al-Anon, and it has been helping. He is not a drunk, but behaves like one. They have him on medicine for PTSD and depression, which do not help him, but he takes the pills. My husband is letting the house fall apart. He doesn't repair anything. He has money but doesn'...	gladysg	6	1078	Mar 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Horrible day - then Amazing day (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to share something that I feel lends intself to the ODAT philosophy...which I think I'm doing better at embracing or practicing. Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in a long time. Alarm clock didn't go off in the morning, I was exhausted as my dog was really sick the nig...	danielle0516	5	947	Mar 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Doing Something Nice for Your Drunk (Preview) These boards are always full of horror stories and requests for advice on how to handle horrendous situations, but I thankfully don't have any horror stories to tell at the moment. My previously hopelessly drunk girlfriend got her 30-day coin and is doing well, working the program, attending meet...	B_L	26	1443	Mar 19, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My wife's friend has contacted me--said she needs to talk to me about something (Preview) I got an urgent e-mail this afternoon from one of my wife's friends saying she needs to speak to me about something "urgent and important". This friend does not know my wife has a drinking problem or goes to AA. She said she couldn't live with herself if she didn't do something knowing the kid...	usedtobeanyer	10	1593	Mar 19, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Update: My 1st Friday Night Meeting (Preview) Well, I had a very difficult time finding the meeting place! It was raining, street was rather dark, tall trees all around blocking addresses. I fought back the thought that perhaps I wasn't meant to find the place. But I pressed onward knowing it was just fear. I finally found the place. A lady was...	GailMichelle	3	854	Mar 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Confirmed husband has been hiding drinking for months.... (Preview) Brief history: I stopped drinking almost 15 years ago and my husband stopped getting drunk 13 years ago. He continued to drink occasionally, one or two beers. Initially, I was scared each beer would reignite his addiction. I didn't understand it, but I let my guard down and began to trust him. I...	canyonbarb	5	3683	Mar 19, 2011 by canyonbarb
	Haven't Been On For A While... (Preview) Okay one, WHY am I afraid to attend a meeting?? I keep saying I'm going to go. I know I need to go but I always chicken out! I am not antisocial at all and I really know this is something I need to do. Someone please tell me I'm not going to be like one of three people there...I freak out every time! And two, I'm...	delhommefan	5	918	Mar 18, 2011 by RLC
	Sadly Stepping Down as Meeting Chair for the Immediate Future (Preview) It saddens me tonight to tell you that I will be stepping down effective immediatly as a chair for the immediate future. The reasoning for this is not of importance to anyone but myself, HP and John. I will just say that upon much prayer and relection it has become clear to me that for now I may not be the bes...	xeno59	5	899	Mar 18, 2011 by wp
	At my wits end, please help...... (Preview) Hi, my wife has been sober for one year which is good for her however I am still very lonely. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and am seeing a psychologist and this is helping. However, if I have an anxious moment and blame my wife for the slightest little thing she throws a tantrum at me and says I'm just t...	Nutbar	14	1138	Mar 18, 2011 by Nutbar
	My story (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this space. I've been in recovery for my own addiction for 12 months and doing really well. Unfortunately my wife of 10 years has not coped well with my recovery. I believe she is a "dry" alcoholic, as she put down the single-malt whiskey four years ago and did not enter...	samsam	8	908	Mar 18, 2011 by samsam
	going crazy with anxiety (Preview) Long story short, ah of two years, in recovery working the steps. Other then aa and work, he's borderline non functional. I'm running ragged caring for our two young kids, our house, bills, and working myself. He only thinks of himself and when he returns from work, he eats, leaves a trail of mess and go...	Niecy	11	3209	Mar 18, 2011 by Nutbar
	Its a mess. I feel lost. (Preview) I met my bf 15 years ago. We have a 14 year old child together that he just met for the first time in January this year. He was drunk when he drove 16 hours to our home in Alabama. I was disappointed in him because this was not him 15 years ago. He chose to meet our son for the 1st time and he was drunk. Alcohol has...	Aynot	3	1088	Mar 18, 2011 by hotrod
	Need courage to take action (Preview) I'm having a difficult time with dealing with my Al/ad daughter and doing what I need to do to stop the enabling I'm doing. Her husband left her with thier 6 y.o. daughter last week, I've been keeping her 16 y.o. son for the past 6 months or more. He is on ss which is her only income since her husband left...	Ruby	7	991	Mar 18, 2011 by RLC
	My sickness. (Preview) I shared how I thought Hp wanted me to let go of my sober ABF. Again me rushing into major decisions. Today we spoke he shared how i am on his back all the time attcking him. He is sober, he is attending lots of meeting and mixing with people in recovery. He is taking his time to correct his health he needs...	Tracy	4	809	Mar 18, 2011 by Debilyn
	Practical advice regarding finances (Preview) I am looking for some practical advice regarding finances. I have ran the budget and controled the finances in our family for the last 8 years. For some of that time I worked also but now I am a SAHM. My AH is an active alcoholic at this point in time. Now that you're all caught up here is my dilema. I don...	searching4peace	8	967	Mar 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	Confused About Dry Drunk and my Marriage (Preview) Hello, I have not visited this forum in quite some time. I'm grateful it is still available. I don't dare tell anyone how I'm really feeling about my marriage right now, not even my sponsor. My sponsor is dealing with her own marriage to a recovering a. Hubby and I were married in 1990. Growing up...	Lala03044	9	7407	Mar 17, 2011 by Lala03044
	strangely serene.....and grateful. (Preview) Interesting, but something snapped inside me last week in a good way. I'm sure it's related to me working on myself, a little more than usual but I'm suddenly not feeling as down as I was. In fact I feel happy! Not that things have improved all that much at home, maybe not at all. But it's bothering me le...	mjhyankees	5	682	Mar 17, 2011 by Lala03044
	New - my story. Help and advice please! (Preview) Hi, my name is Dawn and I'm trying to decide if my husband is an alcoholic. I know - duh - I should probably go to a meeting, but I go back and forth deciding if its for me. Here's the background info, maybe some of you can help. My husband, Scott, has always loved his beer, but he never had a problem with it un...	nadjjaa	15	982	Mar 17, 2011 by nadjjaa
	I was doing so well.. and know it's all for the best (Preview) I was working my program the night it all happened. Walking away from situations that I deemed uncalled for, which led to him having more anger. Police were called, blah blah blah, anyway, we have been told to separate, he is not to be around the kids. If he wants to see them, the worker (from Childrens Ai...	Evian	7	878	Mar 17, 2011 by buick23
	Do they need a RECOVERY PROGRAM as bad as we do??? (Preview) Just curious on this... Do they need a recovery program as bad as we do? Can they be normal happy people without following the steps & attending meetings? Do they all have the "Dry Drunk" syndrome if they are not working a program? My RAH, tells me his new job & new location is all he ne...	KimmyJo	10	971	Mar 17, 2011 by danielle0516
	Book and Step Study (Preview) Over on the CODA Board we are starting a Book study and a step study, it's based on Melody Beatty Books, but truthfully the step study will be using (and I quote) "I am going to be using "The Codependent's Guide to the Twelve Steps" as my core resource in starting the step threads for this...	linbaba	0	3042	Mar 16, 2011 by linbaba
	Ex-abf Weird MindGames, Powerplays, and Emotional Rollercoaster rides (Preview) Ok I'm going to try to keep this short because if I described all the craziness that happened it would take me forever and trigger me and I wouldn't be in a good place bringing it all back up. My ex-abf broke up with me months ago which at the time I thought was the worst thing that ever happened to me because I...	Stillalive2dream	5	3097	Mar 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	What a Difference A Day Makes (Preview) Well, I had such a good enlightening day yesterday, and I'm very thankful for it because today has been a true test. Husband got up this morning all hung over of course from his birthday celebration last night, and would not stop trying to fight with me. I hid in the bedroom for a while and when I came out...	Steph444	3	715	Mar 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	HP wants me to be reminded of what it was like (Preview) By sheer coincidence, my alcoholic ex lives across the street from my current boyfriend. I started having minimal contact with him again after about 2 years of no contact. His life is still so out of control and turbulent. He has made friends will all the other neighbors around who drink and use dru...	pinkchip	8	823	Mar 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	faith (Preview) I am having a break from my Sober ABF (7 months). As I have nmentioned I need to get off his back and focus on me. However I am missing him so much I really just want to ring him and sort it out. But he does not live his life how I want to, he is in early recovery and can not be a true partner we are both sick and nee...	Tracy	2	721	Mar 16, 2011 by kitty
	I had to bring it here.... Off Topic.... a bit long.... (Preview) As some of you may know my Mom has recently passed away. There is so much about that fact to deal with that it makes my head and tummy hurt. The rainbow of emotion is so colourful and psychodelic. As with many families under these circumstances, sometimes there are rifts about money and the wishes of t...	Rora	8	796	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Opting out. (Preview) I went to the meeting with my AH's outpatient counsellor today. I have decided I don't want to be involved in his recovery. I am opting out of further sessions. He can continue attending on his own. I have done a lot of thinking and praying the last little while. And I have taken inventory of my actio...	searching4peace	8	1148	Mar 16, 2011 by kitty
	What a Day (Preview) A few hours ago, I thought of posting here. Today is my husbands birthday, and, of course, he isn't home. I didn't expect him to be. I haven't heard from him all day. Most of the day I've been feeling down, remembering birthdays in the past....all that stuff. So, I logged onto the meeting here t...	Steph444	6	912	Mar 16, 2011 by Bettina
	I'm Gonna Do It! (Preview) Well, last June I attended my first Al-Anon meeting. It was a speaker's meeting, so I didn't have to sweat having to say anything. After is was over, I quickly showed myself to the door. I'm going back tonight. I'm going to stick around this time 'cuz I feel the need. Let ya all know how it goes.	GailMichelle	9	918	Mar 16, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Maturity (Preview) The topic at the meeting I went to tonight was maturity. Interesting, I never would have identified myself as immature before I started going to Al Anon. If anything, it was quite the opposite--I was extremely mature, thank you very much! But after learning a few key elements of the program I realized...	usedtobeanyer	3	915	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Sorry for the late notice, but I need someone to chair this morning's meeting!!! (Preview) My son woke up with a sore throat, strep is going around, so we will be the first ones at the doctor's office this morning at 8AM CST. Hopefully someone can step in and run the meeting today. Thanks! bg	blender_girl	1	1575	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	MIP = Love (Preview) Aloha Ohana (family) we are okay; actually just outside of the tidal wave zone and at a higher elevation than the people who got sea damage. My wife just let me know that one person on the other side (west) of the island lost a house to the ocean. Connected family in Japan is okay...in a different provie...	Jerry F	19	1254	Mar 16, 2011 by xeno59
	Hanging by a thread (Preview) I have been down this road before. Lost my way. Now I am back looking for the strength to once again know that I can't fix it all. Believe me, I know that. But a recent blow caught me off guard and here I am close to panic mode.	Crossroad	7	1180	Mar 15, 2011 by Crossroad
	The Power of Conscious Decisions (Preview) It's been a very long time since I last posted - shame on me! I'm still here, though. Still chairing the Friday AM meetings unless something comes up. This is a vital link to my program, for which I am extremely grateful. I'm giving you fair warning - this will be long! So what's been going on with blen...	blender_girl	7	928	Mar 15, 2011 by likemyheart
	more anxiety! (Preview) I feel very anxious today & I really don't know why? I am just feeling like life is passing me by sometimes & also feel like I need to reach out again. So, I get on MIP & tell it like it is. I have a very supportive husband & mother who are right there when I need them. Is that enough? sometime...	Hoot Nanny	4	735	Mar 15, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude (Preview) Sometimes it is really back to basics for me. Nothing more and nothing less. These little sayings can sometimes sound quite glib, but really, they are gems. When there are too many things to take on board and everything seems to be a bit too much I have to get down to PRACTICAL RESONSIBLE LIVING and sim...	Suzannah	2	1500	Mar 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Anniversaries (Preview) Hi, all: This is the first time in many months I have posted a thread of my own. My H of 22 years is an 8 months' sober A. I go to f2f Al Anon meetings, although with my insanely busy work schedule and traveling, I probably only get to one a month. I come here several times a week. My issue is that I am starting...	Cloudsea	9	705	Mar 15, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Acceptance (Preview) Hi everyone, My partner been sober for nearly 7 months now, he was in rehab for 5 months and has been in supported living for nearly 2 months. I am getting on with my own life but I am finding that I am becoming really impatient. He has been told by hospitl he needs n op on his foot. He says this could take up...	Tracy	5	511	Mar 15, 2011 by kitty
	Messing up (Preview) I feel like I am making some bad decisions and feeling like a screw up. Yes I am a perfectionist and tend to be hard on myself, but I am also a wreck right now. At work yesterday my boss told me that I was having conversations with customers that were inappropriate and he was right, before I could own my actio...	flopadopilus	6	1042	Mar 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	I'm new (Preview) I just turned 23 recently and found myself in the absolute worse place in my life. I've realized that drinking has taken over my entire life. I awake up and one of the first things I think about is what I am going to drink and when...just in order to feel alright. I never had a real drink until I was a sophomor...	heartlessxxnoise	9	910	Mar 15, 2011 by kitty
	space. (Preview) Hi everyone, I read my books this morning and tried to hold my situation up to the serenity prayer. I rang my sober BF. I told him I was getting at him because my needs were not getting met. We chatted about for a while it was quite upsetting you see I love him but he is only 7 months sober and I have given my al...	Tracy	4	834	Mar 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Without alanon (Preview) I went to two more alanon meetings last evening and I realize that I am not comfortable at any of them. I have always been a lone soul. I hate crowds and groups. I love what they have to offer, but is that the only option? Would a private counselor be as effective? I see the wisdom here, and I want more th...	Steph444	15	1683	Mar 14, 2011 by Steph444
	Controlling Behaviour and enabling (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon and I'm looking for some perspectives on controlling behaviour and enabling. Essentially I have had enough of my alcoholic partner's behaviour and I have ended the relationship because I can no longer tolerate being lied to, being stolen from and being on the receiving end of insu...	Limey	4	1495	Mar 14, 2011 by pinkchip
	Harm Reduction? (Preview) Does anybody have any experience with the 'harm reduction' model of alcohol addiction treatment? I had never heard of it before. I found out this week that it is the model used at the out patient treatment center my husband is attending. I am really concerned about this. Seems like they are setting h...	searching4peace	7	1252	Mar 14, 2011 by pinkchip
	"The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved" (closed) (Preview) Wanted to make MIP members aware of something that happened at Friday morning's meeting. I suggested the topic of "creating chaos" as it is described in our ODAAT daily reader. Someone else mentioned the topic of Stop and Think (or something to that effect). A MIP member gave a &quo...	Overcome	3	928	Mar 14, 2011 by hotrod
	Doing the same thing over and over (Preview) Today I was thinking about how several years ago, before I had any recovery, a counselor said, "Doing the same things over and over and expecting different results is INSANE." It occurred to me what a different meaning this statement has to me now. I've heard people say it often in meetin...	White Rabbit	5	814	Mar 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	boy I sure am grateful! (Preview) When I hear about all that is going on in the world today, it makes me so grateful! I have a safe place to live(so far) & hope for the future. I haven't had to struggle w/ much as far as Mother Nature rocking my world really since 1996 when our area was flooded. It is kinda funny to tell the story now but the...	Hoot Nanny	4	773	Mar 13, 2011 by Lala03044
	hubby returning tomorrow...ugh (Preview) I wrote earlier this week about my AH being away at his parents for the week. I stated how much I enjoyed his absence. Well...he's coming back tomorrow and I don't want him to! My stomach is starting to act up and I think it is the stress of knowing he is returning. I was having a huge belly-laugh with my girl...	looking_for_peace	3	942	Mar 12, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.