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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Back on track
Post Info TOPIC: Back on track
Jennifer


~*Service Worker*~

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Back on track
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My big old ego was having fun with me pushing this idea that I needed to forgive something I was not quite grasping yet. It must be in my nature to look externally when I starthaving those thoughts of there is something you need to do and it has to do with this topic. But as I was meditating on what exactly was bothering me I found guilt not anger. It all revolves around two specific occasions that I know my HP offered me the best option I could have possibly asked for at that time. And because of my unwillingness to let go of the physical, financial and illusions I held dear I denied my HP the joy of doing its will and I denied myself the positive outcomes of those situations. I know forgiveness from my HP is easily given and it is easy to define how to express my apologies. Self forgiveness is more dificult for me to accept as of right now. I'll keep working on it.

Jen

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hotrod


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Dear jen

I too found I could forgive others but had a terrible time forgiving myself.  The program is so powerful and it really seems to understand how I struggled.

  The solution for me was to placeMYSELF at the top of the list of the people I had harmed .  I then had to make amends to myself.

I did this  by attending meetings, sharing, owning my anger and disappointment at my self, making asset list, making gratitude lists  and finally asking HP to lift my  unforgivening heart.  I found that not forgiving is not an option.   I can own the action,, learn from it and move forward  What a gift.

Thanks for your insightful post

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Debilyn


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Jen, as I read your post, I saw what you learned. Its very ok to have chosen what you did! Now maybe next time you will feel my secure about choosing a different option!

We never know what we will learn from what. Sometimes we have to be pretty uncomfortable for awhile!

I have known you here for a long time. Have lots of faith in you!

Hugs,debilyn

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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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