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So, today was like any other day. AH started drinking around 11 am. No issues all day until kids came home from school. I was spending some time with one of the boys, and AH starts saying how I show the kids too much affection, and they dont have to have so much attention. It went from there to other things, and when I didn't react, just wanted to leave the situation, he reacted big time. I had my coat on, was trying to leave with the kids... just gonna go for an hour or two, to give him time to calm down. He picked up an axe, and threatened to go out and smash the van.. the only family vehicle. I got him back in the house, he said that if I wanted him to leave, that I had to call the police to have him removed from the house. I didn't want to, and the next thing I knew, he picked up the phone, dialed 911, and handed the phone to me. I had no choice but to talk to them. Anyway, 3 cops showed up... and took him away. He's now in the hospital for the night. I have no idea what they are going to do with him. I'm at the point where I just don't care. It's like I have no emotion. Not upset, scared or anything. I was using the steps, tried to get out of the situation, and that is that. Anyway, just wanted to vent.
This program taught me I have choices....even when I don't like my choices...I have them. We don't HAVE to deal...we can choose to let go and let God. But it's a choice.
Wow sounds very scary for you and the kids. I am glad it ended with everyone okay and the family vehicle in 1 piece. I am sorry that you had such a day! Funny that he called 911 maybe he knew he needed help. I will say a prayer to my HP for you tonight and after reading the book Codependant No More I realized I wasn't feeling my feelings either. You sound like you are in such a good place in the midst of chaos. Just keep yourself and your kids safe!
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
Hi Evian - I can SO relate to your post! My AH stood over me screaming at me and daring me to call 911, said HE would prosecute ME for taking a swipe at him, which i did to try to get him to back off - I finally did call them, kept saying I just wanted him to stop screaming at me - of course they asked if there were guns in the house and yeah, there were so we had 3 or 4 law enforcement cars outside. After I called 911, he stood on the porch almost happy acting - like it was a big show, cops are coming, whoo-hoo - they were gonna take ME away because I took a swipe at him. They didn't take him, but sent him away. After that time he no longer dared me to call 911 - maybe because he knew that I would. Its so sad though; definately not the life anyone wants to live.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Hi Evian The insanity that surfaces when living with this disease is mind boggling!!!
You certainly used your program well. Working the steps, deciding to detach by leaving the situation, not buying in to the madness and letting go.
HP does work in mysteriour ways so that your hubby is now in the hospital being cared for and you are home safe with the children That is a good outcome.
The ODAT suggest that we not do anything to cause a crisis or do anything to stop one . This is so that the results of what happens are owned by the person responsible for the situation.
Good work for not reacting!! In my prayers
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 7th of March 2011 11:28:48 PM
(((((Evian)))))...that is the drama and crazy making which we trust HP to bring us away from and into sanity. Glad you are okay and followed thru even when it was he who dialed 911. I'm sure he's justifying it in some crazy way cause the disease does that while being cunning, powerful and baffling. S U C K S!! Find a meeting and go sit with the membership. I know that the "fun stuff" was just sarcasm. Next time the alcoholic picks up a weapon of any kind...don't wait for him to make the call. (((((hugs)))))
Many times it is suggested by members on this board to practice, practice, practice the program. It might seem redundant only words at times. But when we do the same things over and over they become habit. We don't have to decide what we are going to do, how we are going to act or react when we are faced with adversity the disease causes us. Our thinking process becomes second nature as we use the tools of the program to take care of our self first, do the next right thing, and keep the focus on us.
The program does work when we work it and it takes practice, practice, practice. You proved that today. You are safe, your children are safe, and your husband is in a safe place. He caused the crisis and then called HP's men in blue uniforms to end the crisis.
My only suggestion next time the chaos starts escalating have your cell phone in hand will 911 already punched in and your finger ready to push the "send" button. Follow your husbands example and you be the one to call HP's men in blue uniforms.
Good job working your program.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Tuesday 8th of March 2011 12:37:54 AM
Evian, Glad you and the kids are ok. That sounds so crazy....I hate this disease, it is just constant insanity. I wish there was a cure.
I've been in a very similar situation..only when my AH went to call 911 so they would come and arrest ME, because I was abusing him - I panicked and grabbed the phone and hung up. I think I did this mostly because my 11 year old daughter (from a different dad) was sleeping and I really didn't want her to wake up to cops in the house at 2 in the morning on a school night. If she wasn't home (as her dad and I share custody so she is away now and then), I think I would have let my AH call 911...and I wish that's how it played out. A night in jail would have done him some good...or at least he would no longer think he's 'better' or not as bad as other addicts since he has not yet been in jail. Although, if they are not ready, I'm sure they will minimize jail, minimize the entire fiasco, and blame others for everything. so sad.
Good for you for letting the situation play out and for the detachment you practiced! :)
That's exactly what he is doing right now. Telling everyone that it was just a heated argument, and insisting that he wouldn't have done anything. He thinks its completly unfair of them to put such restrictions on him.. He even fooled the crisis workers and head doctor at the hospital!!
