Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I know no one can give me the answers. I am looking for ESH to help me make healthy and safe choices. My AH wants to take our DD on a business trip with him to show her what he does-- a lovely, educational and bonding experience in the world of "normies." In the alcoholic world, it is much more pr...

Evian · Evian

and nothing has really changed. Just a recap on my previous posts, my AH and I were involved in an argument which resulted in the police being called, and Children's Aid becoming involved (yet again). This is the third time in the past 5 yrs that they have been involved, all relating to his drinking, and...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, thought it was about time I posted an update on my situation or my husband's situation... As some of you may remember, there was a lot of crazy 2-6 months back where AH was just insane, lost his hob, was suicidal, physch ward stays, emergency room, became addicted to narcotic pain killers...

southsider39 · southsider39

i am a 31 year old man writing this becasue i am at a loss,,i cant believe i have to deal with this in my life,,here is my storie. my mother just turned 60 and she is drinking more than ever, last week she decided to drink and drive and she smashed her car up,,her drinking consists of 3 months silbour,,2 wee...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I was so pleased with my guy! His friend too. He never got mad or upset. Even as they had to put all that fencing in the van and in the uhaul. AND I dug up my 20 foot high bundle of bamboo, they got it in too. I did way too much. I cannot stop when others are working. I did a dumb thing and got stuck on my bum. son help...

John · John

Hello Everyone, As the founder and webmaster of Miracles In Progress I want to extent a personal "Thank You" to each of you for valuing and utilizing the CoDA portion of our site. As we grow in our recoveries from alcoholism, addiction, or being a family member of a loved one who suffers from this di...

Freya · Freya

Hi, I'm new to the forums and am glad to be here. I've been going to al-anon meetings for a year and to coda meetings for a bit less. I've been reading through the posts here and learning a lot about other people's experiences. I met with my sponsor yesterday and completed my seventh step. It felt good...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Those of you who know me from this board will know I have been married to my AH for 39 years and he has been alcohol dependant for the last 6 or so years. Just lately he has been worse than usual. His health has been deteriorating and he has become more and more belligerent and verbally abusive. This last wee...

david62 · david62

Woke up this morning with this song in my head, and wanted to share it with you all. My favorite "recovery" song. Whats yours? David

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I've been doing really good at working the program. I've been reading tons of literature, going to meetings, making positive changes. But, Im falling back into old behavior. I start reacting again to my boyfriend when I know he's been drinking. Im losing that confidence I had just a short time ago. I f...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while. However, I need an outlet for this extremely disturbing situation I'm in. Just a little history...AH and I have been married for almost two years - have known each other for three. He had been actively drinking for most of our relationship. He got sober for 9 m...

member922 · member922

I am a little nervous as I haven't been in awhile. The breakup with the ABF was completed this afternoon, so I am feeling a bit sad. I let him get angry with me and I didn't say anything negative to him. I am not playing the game anymore. Instead of sitting here and wallowing though, I am keeping the promi...

cbris · cbris

HI, I'm brand new to this type of forum but I feel that this is a step in the right direction for me. I have not been to a meeting before but i know what the group is about. You see, my boyfriend of 1 yr is an alcoholic. He's 38 and has been drinking since he was 15. I would describe him as a functioning alcoholic....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe myself sometimes--i am afraid to ask my mom & I never have been like this before! I am waiting to hear from her about going to see my family. It just dawned on me this morning that I really need to see my DAD if nothing else. I had a death dream last night that my dad died but not before I got t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, feeling very scared yet excited. My ABF is sober and has been for 7 months and the light is really gtting shinned on me. HP has brought me to a place were i can not hide anymore. My A is strong and has realised how sick we are together. I am not so strong and was clinging in there. You see he ha...

maire rua · maire rua

Unfortunately my son has started to cause me grief through alcohol, it has become very worrying. I have made the mistake of humouring with items, I purchased a boxing bag, had to go to a lot of bother to get it put up etc, now he want something else. It is all so wearing and I am very stressed with the whole st...

parfait624 · parfait624

I seen my exABF this weekend for the first time in almost two months. It was at a party for a friend so there was not much oppertunity for him to catch me alone. When he did there he was the charming side....but this time I knew to look for that underlined sick person. Then it came out of him....a complime...

granny07 · granny07

I have been married for 25 yrs, and he has drank all thru these yrs with maybe a pause here and there, when he would get a DWI/DUI it would always be "I'm done, I quite drinking", or another good one is the cops were picking on him. This last one was just about a year ago, he hadn't had any tickets...

sszamo · sszamo

Hi everyone, This is my first time posting on this message board. I have been in al anon for over a year and it has helped me so much. I am in a state of panic and anxiety and grief right now, because my boyfriend of three years (anniversary is tomorrow) seems to be relapsing. He has been sober for a little ove...

member922 · member922

Hi Group! Well I finally decided to get back to the basics. I got out my Courage to Change book last night and started hi-liting the things that are the most helpful to me. I was having a difficult time sleeping, hashing over the troubling events that occurred over the past week. One of the quotes at the...

New Member -- Same Old Story · CarrieO

Hi Everyone, I'm new to the addiction lifestyle and forum groups in general. I am currently in a relationship with an alcoholic; he has been in and out of rehabs on almost ten different occassions, is no longer working the steps, and is relapsing. We have been together for only a short time, and when I...

fabmonkey · fabmonkey

I am just tonight realizing I need to be here, so I will first off apologize for knowing so little. Normally I lurk and learn, but this has been a rough day and I think I need to get it out there. AH has been half-heartedly attempting AA for the last year. The drinking has been better in frequency... from dai...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Right now I`am feeling very angry at my daughter for her behavior. Many of you know that I take on a lot of the responsibilty for my grandaughter. My daughter does not seem truly equipted to give the child what she needs. The child who is 7 is more responsible than the mom is in many ways. Drinking or not dri...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my ex-A broke it off with me in email and "entirely" cut me and my daughter off from contact with him, he was really clear about it. except for an upcoming custody case where he needs to testify, he said no contact. but then ... he's emailed me twice more! and he even called my daughter's therap...

Ruby · Ruby

hello!

Debilyn · Debilyn

Give it to God. But somehow I don't think he can help me to get all my fence down to take to the cabin. He has given me a little energy to do it. Though every joint in my body feels like it is out!Have my sons van, I need an escalator to get in and out! lol I am hopeless, and short, and have only one knee. The uhaul is...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Well, it can no way be compared to the biblical story of the Prodigal Son, but it wasn't Rambo either Regardless, I got my boy back. I phoned the school counselor on Thurs, and asked him to facilitate a meeting. He offered Mon or Tues morning. I said "too late", he said "today at 2&qu...

purpleraven · purpleraven

two nights ago i decided to start doing my 4th step again, even though my face-to-face sponsor is unavailable at this time. because i'm going through a big crisis and my regular journaling was too unfocused and my thoughts would spin out of control, i knew i needed a workbook with blanks to fill. luckil...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone need to reach out. I have shared how since my sober ABF got sober I have been on and off my own programme. He has been sober for 7 months and seems to be o.k. I on the other hand turned into persecuter. He told me that I was jepordising his recovery. He was right my behaviour was unacceptable....

delhommefan · delhommefan

In some ways that would be good. She's a loving, attentive person (so am I). But she's probably a little too much so...overbearing that is. Anyway, my daughter is 4. She's a very funny, intelligent little girl. She's testy though! (as all 4 year olds are I'm sure...I have nothing to compare it too since...

Ruby · Ruby

On my last post, my name showed

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is April Fool's Day & I can't think of a joke; oh well...the truth is I am not perfect! New's flash: I am not even close. I want to spend this day as light-hearted as possible. By the way, on a note, I have been recovered from surgery almost 6 mos. Where did the time go? I am so grateful for all of you who...

TheJeanGenie · TheJeanGenie

Hi guys, I had a little 'debate' with my partner, and now I am trying to work out if I did the right thing. It's all rather silly... He has been away for weeks and it's his first day back. Somehow things are always strained when this happens. He gets stressed because I have been reluctant to take responsibi...

Ness · Ness

No one has seen him for a week which is unusual as hes a very visible drunk, hes a wanderer.He picked up the drink again recently after 9 months in recovery and quickly deteriorated to the way he was before (and worse) so has been a frequent visitor to hospital and police stations. Hes had his phone stolen...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

the last 2 weeks 3 different people have come to me out of concern for my husband. We live in a very small town and for the most part know what's going on with each other around here. So my divorce won't be final until July, but I moved out and try as I might to stay dettached with love to my A. We share our kids ha...

member922 · member922

Hi again. It's been a long time since I posted. I thought I was dealing pretty well with my ABF, but now I have learned that I am not. He brings out the worst in me, making me feel bad about myself. I am still enabling, though I thought I was not. We are not good for each other, and I realize that. I think we a...

Katy · Katy

I have been really struggling lately and practicing all the behaviours that got me here, the difference is now i know I know, where as before I didn't, this all started long before I met my a, and I have been asking god a lot lately to please help me to see whats wrong, and I you know what? I think he has. I thi...

delhommefan · delhommefan

This morning I was meditating which I've just recently started doing. I've worked my way up to 10 minutes, but it is still hard for me to completely erase my mind for that long and breathe the correct way. Today I kept forgetting to focus on my breathing, and it was almost like I was holding my breath. The...

TaylorAnn · TaylorAnn

Hi everyone, My husband has been sober for a little over 40 days, but we're still pretty new to all of this. His sobriety has been fairly easy so far--he can't drive, we haven't been in any situation where he'd be expected to drink, etc. What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm going out of town this w...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I understand that I can't control the people in my life, but I'm trying to understand when it is OK to state your opinion. AH has bad allergies for the past few days that were absent when he travelled 5 hrs away for a couple days. Therefore, he's decided it must be something in our house. I've been through t...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I workout than eat, eat than workout, hmmm how come I lose only 1-3 lbs a month. I feel my mind not at peace and wrestling around with what? I am my own worst enemy. I feel insecure and inadequate around people, but it doesn't stop me from doing or saying things I later question. I am the first person to gree...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm really grateful for all the support i find here. in fact this morning i was very, very close to self-injuring because i felt absolutely hopeless, i couldn't even connect with my HP at the time. i just knew i had to get here and look for any guidance i could find, to beg my HP to show me anything that could...

gladysg · gladysg

Tough week. Husband took out a money market fund account, although not knowing what one is. He wants me to go to the bank to get it changed back. He said the banker did everything and he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't want to accept his part in anything and wants me to fix everything. I'm tired of fixin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Wow! The love and support I feel from all of you with your posts and pms is overwhelming. Thank you! I do not have time to to write much as it is a new day again! Let me just say that with daylight and friends and professionals supporting me comes some clarity. I came up with a 'new" plan yesterday m...

Bettina · Bettina

I havent vented in such a long time, because there was nothing to vent about. Until the last few days. I am bewildered and bothered, but not bewitched. A couple of years ago I became friends with this lady on f/B, she seemed nice enough and she had lost a son thru a drug overdose and she created a group for...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Have you ever realised that sometimes the exact piece of advice you need is the one you find yourself giving to someone else. I am always grateful for those moments when I hear myself say something to someone and it seems to take on a bit of a ring. It reverberates in my head. And I realize that it is the a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Having to do all this stuff on my own I have noticed something. NOTHING has gone smoothly. I think I have my tv thing all tied up and done. Instalation day set, order done, price done. They sent the wrong receiver. I call them, they go on about all this bolony. I took notes I KNOW what he told me. So now they ar...

sarebaer · sarebaer

For the month of January my Ah and his drinking buddy take the month off from drinking to prove they can. They usually dont make the entire month. But mine did this year. I told him I have mixed feelings because I get to see what a "normal" life could be like without his drinking then get shoved b...

vols2001 · vols2001

We live in different states and my other siblings and I were not included in therapy sessions during her two weeks of rehab. I tried to talk to my brother-in-law about my sister's strange behaviors (not paying attention to her kids, ages 4 and 3, always arguing and angry at me and our other sister) and d...

Steph444 · Steph444

I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...

amanda07 · amanda07

From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn

Chelle3 · Chelle3

This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Looking for some ESH regarding AH and travel with children (Preview) I know no one can give me the answers. I am looking for ESH to help me make healthy and safe choices. My AH wants to take our DD on a business trip with him to show her what he does-- a lovely, educational and bonding experience in the world of "normies." In the alcoholic world, it is much more pr...	Very Very Tired	4	762	Apr 6, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	It's been a month.. (Preview) and nothing has really changed. Just a recap on my previous posts, my AH and I were involved in an argument which resulted in the police being called, and Children's Aid becoming involved (yet again). This is the third time in the past 5 yrs that they have been involved, all relating to his drinking, and...	Evian	5	824	Apr 6, 2011 by Evian
	getting sober = new person (Preview) Hi everyone, thought it was about time I posted an update on my situation or my husband's situation... As some of you may remember, there was a lot of crazy 2-6 months back where AH was just insane, lost his hob, was suicidal, physch ward stays, emergency room, became addicted to narcotic pain killers...	danielle0516	2	771	Apr 6, 2011 by pinkchip
	my mom (Preview) i am a 31 year old man writing this becasue i am at a loss,,i cant believe i have to deal with this in my life,,here is my storie. my mother just turned 60 and she is drinking more than ever, last week she decided to drink and drive and she smashed her car up,,her drinking consists of 3 months silbour,,2 wee...	southsider39	6	1017	Apr 6, 2011 by ythannah
	So proud of my son! (Preview) I was so pleased with my guy! His friend too. He never got mad or upset. Even as they had to put all that fencing in the van and in the uhaul. AND I dug up my 20 foot high bundle of bamboo, they got it in too. I did way too much. I cannot stop when others are working. I did a dumb thing and got stuck on my bum. son help...	Debilyn	2	796	Apr 6, 2011 by Loupiness
	A simple "CoDA" Thank you (Preview) Hello Everyone, As the founder and webmaster of Miracles In Progress I want to extent a personal "Thank You" to each of you for valuing and utilizing the CoDA portion of our site. As we grow in our recoveries from alcoholism, addiction, or being a family member of a loved one who suffers from this di...	John	2	899	Apr 6, 2011 by DreamXL
	Telling a bit of my story (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the forums and am glad to be here. I've been going to al-anon meetings for a year and to coda meetings for a bit less. I've been reading through the posts here and learning a lot about other people's experiences. I met with my sponsor yesterday and completed my seventh step. It felt good...	Freya	3	1030	Apr 6, 2011 by Freya
	Sick AH and Guilty me (Preview) Those of you who know me from this board will know I have been married to my AH for 39 years and he has been alcohol dependant for the last 6 or so years. Just lately he has been worse than usual. His health has been deteriorating and he has become more and more belligerent and verbally abusive. This last wee...	Tattyhead	11	1088	Apr 6, 2011 by Ness
	One Day at a Time (Preview) Woke up this morning with this song in my head, and wanted to share it with you all. My favorite "recovery" song. Whats yours? David	david62	8	1027	Apr 5, 2011 by roonpugs
	Slipping (Preview) I've been doing really good at working the program. I've been reading tons of literature, going to meetings, making positive changes. But, Im falling back into old behavior. I start reacting again to my boyfriend when I know he's been drinking. Im losing that confidence I had just a short time ago. I f...	Corgi2	5	802	Apr 5, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Pregnant....now AH wants a divorce (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been here in a while. However, I need an outlet for this extremely disturbing situation I'm in. Just a little history...AH and I have been married for almost two years - have known each other for three. He had been actively drinking for most of our relationship. He got sober for 9 m...	stopandchat	12	1314	Apr 5, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Going to a meeting shortly... (Preview) I am a little nervous as I haven't been in awhile. The breakup with the ABF was completed this afternoon, so I am feeling a bit sad. I let him get angry with me and I didn't say anything negative to him. I am not playing the game anymore. Instead of sitting here and wallowing though, I am keeping the promi...	member922	6	823	Apr 5, 2011 by member922
	confused (Preview) HI, I'm brand new to this type of forum but I feel that this is a step in the right direction for me. I have not been to a meeting before but i know what the group is about. You see, my boyfriend of 1 yr is an alcoholic. He's 38 and has been drinking since he was 15. I would describe him as a functioning alcoholic....	cbris	3	488	Apr 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	still in limbo! (Preview) I can't believe myself sometimes--i am afraid to ask my mom & I never have been like this before! I am waiting to hear from her about going to see my family. It just dawned on me this morning that I really need to see my DAD if nothing else. I had a death dream last night that my dad died but not before I got t...	Hoot Nanny	0	514	Apr 5, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	ups and downs (Preview) Hi everyone, feeling very scared yet excited. My ABF is sober and has been for 7 months and the light is really gtting shinned on me. HP has brought me to a place were i can not hide anymore. My A is strong and has realised how sick we are together. I am not so strong and was clinging in there. You see he ha...	Tracy	4	732	Apr 5, 2011 by Jerry F
	son causing me grief (Preview) Unfortunately my son has started to cause me grief through alcohol, it has become very worrying. I have made the mistake of humouring with items, I purchased a boxing bag, had to go to a lot of bother to get it put up etc, now he want something else. It is all so wearing and I am very stressed with the whole st...	maire rua	3	733	Apr 5, 2011 by redtara
	I'm not honest now? (Preview) I seen my exABF this weekend for the first time in almost two months. It was at a party for a friend so there was not much oppertunity for him to catch me alone. When he did there he was the charming side....but this time I knew to look for that underlined sick person. Then it came out of him....a complime...	parfait624	9	1132	Apr 5, 2011 by pinkchip
	So afraid he will relapse AGAIN (Preview) I have been married for 25 yrs, and he has drank all thru these yrs with maybe a pause here and there, when he would get a DWI/DUI it would always be "I'm done, I quite drinking", or another good one is the cops were picking on him. This last one was just about a year ago, he hadn't had any tickets...	granny07	8	1597	Apr 5, 2011 by Bettina
	relapsing (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first time posting on this message board. I have been in al anon for over a year and it has helped me so much. I am in a state of panic and anxiety and grief right now, because my boyfriend of three years (anniversary is tomorrow) seems to be relapsing. He has been sober for a little ove...	sszamo	9	986	Apr 4, 2011 by sszamo
	Courage to Change - A Share (Preview) Hi Group! Well I finally decided to get back to the basics. I got out my Courage to Change book last night and started hi-liting the things that are the most helpful to me. I was having a difficult time sleeping, hashing over the troubling events that occurred over the past week. One of the quotes at the...	member922	2	649	Apr 4, 2011 by Tracy
	New Member -- Same Old Story (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm new to the addiction lifestyle and forum groups in general. I am currently in a relationship with an alcoholic; he has been in and out of rehabs on almost ten different occassions, is no longer working the steps, and is relapsing. We have been together for only a short time, and when I...	CarrieO	5	1076	Apr 4, 2011 by ythannah
	New... Consequences vs. controlling? (long) (Preview) I am just tonight realizing I need to be here, so I will first off apologize for knowing so little. Normally I lurk and learn, but this has been a rough day and I think I need to get it out there. AH has been half-heartedly attempting AA for the last year. The drinking has been better in frequency... from dai...	fabmonkey	4	1007	Apr 4, 2011 by alexmaui
	I Just Don`t Know ... Is it Me? Maybe I`am just a pushover... (Preview) Right now I`am feeling very angry at my daughter for her behavior. Many of you know that I take on a lot of the responsibilty for my grandaughter. My daughter does not seem truly equipted to give the child what she needs. The child who is 7 is more responsible than the mom is in many ways. Drinking or not dri...	Samsgram	4	1020	Apr 4, 2011 by Christy
	the A's confusing dance (Preview) my ex-A broke it off with me in email and "entirely" cut me and my daughter off from contact with him, he was really clear about it. except for an upcoming custody case where he needs to testify, he said no contact. but then ... he's emailed me twice more! and he even called my daughter's therap...	purpleraven	7	1147	Apr 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	checking out my signature (Preview) hello!	Ruby	1	658	Apr 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Do what you can and leave the rest? (Preview) Give it to God. But somehow I don't think he can help me to get all my fence down to take to the cabin. He has given me a little energy to do it. Though every joint in my body feels like it is out!Have my sons van, I need an escalator to get in and out! lol I am hopeless, and short, and have only one knee. The uhaul is...	Debilyn	4	1120	Apr 3, 2011 by member922
	'Operation Save My Kid" - a success! (Preview) Well, it can no way be compared to the biblical story of the Prodigal Son, but it wasn't Rambo either Regardless, I got my boy back. I phoned the school counselor on Thurs, and asked him to facilitate a meeting. He offered Mon or Tues morning. I said "too late", he said "today at 2&qu...	Loupiness	7	1107	Apr 3, 2011 by Peggy7
	working the 4th step again, "by the book" (Preview) two nights ago i decided to start doing my 4th step again, even though my face-to-face sponsor is unavailable at this time. because i'm going through a big crisis and my regular journaling was too unfocused and my thoughts would spin out of control, i knew i needed a workbook with blanks to fill. luckil...	purpleraven	2	1558	Apr 3, 2011 by purpleraven
	hi from insanity (Preview) Hi everyone need to reach out. I have shared how since my sober ABF got sober I have been on and off my own programme. He has been sober for 7 months and seems to be o.k. I on the other hand turned into persecuter. He told me that I was jepordising his recovery. He was right my behaviour was unacceptable....	Tracy	4	929	Apr 3, 2011 by Jerry F
	I'm SO Afraid of Becoming my Mother! (Preview) In some ways that would be good. She's a loving, attentive person (so am I). But she's probably a little too much so...overbearing that is. Anyway, my daughter is 4. She's a very funny, intelligent little girl. She's testy though! (as all 4 year olds are I'm sure...I have nothing to compare it too since...	delhommefan	3	1119	Apr 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	Just checking out my signature (Preview) On my last post, my name showed	Ruby	0	536	Apr 2, 2011 by Ruby
	Ok so I am not perfect! (Preview) It is April Fool's Day & I can't think of a joke; oh well...the truth is I am not perfect! New's flash: I am not even close. I want to spend this day as light-hearted as possible. By the way, on a note, I have been recovered from surgery almost 6 mos. Where did the time go? I am so grateful for all of you who...	Hoot Nanny	2	971	Apr 1, 2011 by Debilyn
	Not sure if I am doing the right thing (Preview) Hi guys, I had a little 'debate' with my partner, and now I am trying to work out if I did the right thing. It's all rather silly... He has been away for weeks and it's his first day back. Somehow things are always strained when this happens. He gets stressed because I have been reluctant to take responsibi...	TheJeanGenie	4	1223	Apr 1, 2011 by likemyheart
	Son is ‘’off the radar’’ (Preview) No one has seen him for a week which is unusual as hes a very visible drunk, hes a wanderer.He picked up the drink again recently after 9 months in recovery and quickly deteriorated to the way he was before (and worse) so has been a frequent visitor to hospital and police stations. Hes had his phone stolen...	Ness	6	1172	Apr 1, 2011 by Ness
	I heard a story...... (Preview) the last 2 weeks 3 different people have come to me out of concern for my husband. We live in a very small town and for the most part know what's going on with each other around here. So my divorce won't be final until July, but I moved out and try as I might to stay dettached with love to my A. We share our kids ha...	flopadopilus	9	938	Apr 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	Thought everything was ok (Preview) Hi again. It's been a long time since I posted. I thought I was dealing pretty well with my ABF, but now I have learned that I am not. He brings out the worst in me, making me feel bad about myself. I am still enabling, though I thought I was not. We are not good for each other, and I realize that. I think we a...	member922	10	1165	Apr 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	love! (Preview) I have been really struggling lately and practicing all the behaviours that got me here, the difference is now i know I know, where as before I didn't, this all started long before I met my a, and I have been asking god a lot lately to please help me to see whats wrong, and I you know what? I think he has. I thi...	Katy	1	691	Apr 1, 2011 by Chelle3
	Just a Thought For Today (a revelation I suppose) (Preview) This morning I was meditating which I've just recently started doing. I've worked my way up to 10 minutes, but it is still hard for me to completely erase my mind for that long and breathe the correct way. Today I kept forgetting to focus on my breathing, and it was almost like I was holding my breath. The...	delhommefan	2	950	Mar 31, 2011 by Jerry F
	Help! Going out of town this weekend... (Preview) Hi everyone, My husband has been sober for a little over 40 days, but we're still pretty new to all of this. His sobriety has been fairly easy so far--he can't drive, we haven't been in any situation where he'd be expected to drink, etc. What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm going out of town this w...	TaylorAnn	10	1321	Mar 31, 2011 by Jerry F
	"Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes. (Preview) Hi Family, Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and...	Suzannah	3	1220	Mar 31, 2011 by danz1886
	Would this be controlling?... (Preview) I understand that I can't control the people in my life, but I'm trying to understand when it is OK to state your opinion. AH has bad allergies for the past few days that were absent when he travelled 5 hrs away for a couple days. Therefore, he's decided it must be something in our house. I've been through t...	Chelle3	13	1405	Mar 30, 2011 by Chelle3
	Self sabotage (Preview) I workout than eat, eat than workout, hmmm how come I lose only 1-3 lbs a month. I feel my mind not at peace and wrestling around with what? I am my own worst enemy. I feel insecure and inadequate around people, but it doesn't stop me from doing or saying things I later question. I am the first person to gree...	flopadopilus	7	1306	Mar 30, 2011 by GailMichelle
	cleaning up the A's mess (Preview) i'm really grateful for all the support i find here. in fact this morning i was very, very close to self-injuring because i felt absolutely hopeless, i couldn't even connect with my HP at the time. i just knew i had to get here and look for any guidance i could find, to beg my HP to show me anything that could...	purpleraven	4	925	Mar 30, 2011 by Mattie
	Trying to focus (Preview) Tough week. Husband took out a money market fund account, although not knowing what one is. He wants me to go to the bank to get it changed back. He said the banker did everything and he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't want to accept his part in anything and wants me to fix everything. I'm tired of fixin...	gladysg	3	784	Mar 30, 2011 by gladysg
	"Operation Save My Kid" coming together (Preview) Wow! The love and support I feel from all of you with your posts and pms is overwhelming. Thank you! I do not have time to to write much as it is a new day again! Let me just say that with daylight and friends and professionals supporting me comes some clarity. I came up with a 'new" plan yesterday m...	Loupiness	5	1148	Mar 30, 2011 by canadianguy
	bewildered (Preview) I havent vented in such a long time, because there was nothing to vent about. Until the last few days. I am bewildered and bothered, but not bewitched. A couple of years ago I became friends with this lady on f/B, she seemed nice enough and she had lost a son thru a drug overdose and she created a group for...	Bettina	13	1237	Mar 30, 2011 by Bettina
	Expectations (Preview) Have you ever realised that sometimes the exact piece of advice you need is the one you find yourself giving to someone else. I am always grateful for those moments when I hear myself say something to someone and it seems to take on a bit of a ring. It reverberates in my head. And I realize that it is the a...	searching4peace	7	1011	Mar 30, 2011 by abbyal
	Was just thinking (Preview) Having to do all this stuff on my own I have noticed something. NOTHING has gone smoothly. I think I have my tv thing all tied up and done. Instalation day set, order done, price done. They sent the wrong receiver. I call them, they go on about all this bolony. I took notes I KNOW what he told me. So now they ar...	Debilyn	0	559	Mar 29, 2011 by Debilyn
	Forgot to keep reality where it belonged!! (Preview) For the month of January my Ah and his drinking buddy take the month off from drinking to prove they can. They usually dont make the entire month. But mine did this year. I told him I have mixed feelings because I get to see what a "normal" life could be like without his drinking then get shoved b...	sarebaer	7	1169	Mar 29, 2011 by abbyal
	New to Al-Anon...sister just completed inpatient for narcotics and alcohol (Preview) We live in different states and my other siblings and I were not included in therapy sessions during her two weeks of rehab. I tried to talk to my brother-in-law about my sister's strange behaviors (not paying attention to her kids, ages 4 and 3, always arguing and angry at me and our other sister) and d...	vols2001	4	968	Mar 29, 2011 by abbyal
	abandonment (Preview) I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...	Steph444	13	1443	Mar 29, 2011 by Otie
	this is WAY bigger than me.. call the cops? (closed) (Preview) I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...	Loupiness	12	1303	Mar 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	My da (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...	Lostinthisworld	4	878	Mar 29, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Detachment? (Preview) From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...	amanda07	4	1642	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Marisie where are you?? (Preview) Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn	Debilyn	2	749	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Couples Behavior Therapy to treat alcoholism.... (Preview) This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...	Chelle3	22	1479	Mar 29, 2011 by linbaba
	When and How to Tell People about the group (Preview) I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...	delhommefan	8	833	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	megacrisis time, need a sponsor (Preview) my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...	purpleraven	13	1042	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	HP Gives of Challenges Right? (Preview) Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...	delhommefan	5	838	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Today Would've Been 8 Years of Marriage (Preview) I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...	delhommefan	9	1036	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.