Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

delhommefan · delhommefan

In some ways that would be good. She's a loving, attentive person (so am I). But she's probably a little too much so...overbearing that is. Anyway, my daughter is 4. She's a very funny, intelligent little girl. She's testy though! (as all 4 year olds are I'm sure...I have nothing to compare it too since...

Ruby · Ruby

On my last post, my name showed

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is April Fool's Day & I can't think of a joke; oh well...the truth is I am not perfect! New's flash: I am not even close. I want to spend this day as light-hearted as possible. By the way, on a note, I have been recovered from surgery almost 6 mos. Where did the time go? I am so grateful for all of you who...

TheJeanGenie · TheJeanGenie

Hi guys, I had a little 'debate' with my partner, and now I am trying to work out if I did the right thing. It's all rather silly... He has been away for weeks and it's his first day back. Somehow things are always strained when this happens. He gets stressed because I have been reluctant to take responsibi...

Ness · Ness

No one has seen him for a week which is unusual as hes a very visible drunk, hes a wanderer.He picked up the drink again recently after 9 months in recovery and quickly deteriorated to the way he was before (and worse) so has been a frequent visitor to hospital and police stations. Hes had his phone stolen...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

the last 2 weeks 3 different people have come to me out of concern for my husband. We live in a very small town and for the most part know what's going on with each other around here. So my divorce won't be final until July, but I moved out and try as I might to stay dettached with love to my A. We share our kids ha...

member922 · member922

Hi again. It's been a long time since I posted. I thought I was dealing pretty well with my ABF, but now I have learned that I am not. He brings out the worst in me, making me feel bad about myself. I am still enabling, though I thought I was not. We are not good for each other, and I realize that. I think we a...

Katy · Katy

I have been really struggling lately and practicing all the behaviours that got me here, the difference is now i know I know, where as before I didn't, this all started long before I met my a, and I have been asking god a lot lately to please help me to see whats wrong, and I you know what? I think he has. I thi...

delhommefan · delhommefan

This morning I was meditating which I've just recently started doing. I've worked my way up to 10 minutes, but it is still hard for me to completely erase my mind for that long and breathe the correct way. Today I kept forgetting to focus on my breathing, and it was almost like I was holding my breath. The...

TaylorAnn · TaylorAnn

Hi everyone, My husband has been sober for a little over 40 days, but we're still pretty new to all of this. His sobriety has been fairly easy so far--he can't drive, we haven't been in any situation where he'd be expected to drink, etc. What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm going out of town this w...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I understand that I can't control the people in my life, but I'm trying to understand when it is OK to state your opinion. AH has bad allergies for the past few days that were absent when he travelled 5 hrs away for a couple days. Therefore, he's decided it must be something in our house. I've been through t...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I workout than eat, eat than workout, hmmm how come I lose only 1-3 lbs a month. I feel my mind not at peace and wrestling around with what? I am my own worst enemy. I feel insecure and inadequate around people, but it doesn't stop me from doing or saying things I later question. I am the first person to gree...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm really grateful for all the support i find here. in fact this morning i was very, very close to self-injuring because i felt absolutely hopeless, i couldn't even connect with my HP at the time. i just knew i had to get here and look for any guidance i could find, to beg my HP to show me anything that could...

gladysg · gladysg

Tough week. Husband took out a money market fund account, although not knowing what one is. He wants me to go to the bank to get it changed back. He said the banker did everything and he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't want to accept his part in anything and wants me to fix everything. I'm tired of fixin...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Wow! The love and support I feel from all of you with your posts and pms is overwhelming. Thank you! I do not have time to to write much as it is a new day again! Let me just say that with daylight and friends and professionals supporting me comes some clarity. I came up with a 'new" plan yesterday m...

Bettina · Bettina

I havent vented in such a long time, because there was nothing to vent about. Until the last few days. I am bewildered and bothered, but not bewitched. A couple of years ago I became friends with this lady on f/B, she seemed nice enough and she had lost a son thru a drug overdose and she created a group for...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Have you ever realised that sometimes the exact piece of advice you need is the one you find yourself giving to someone else. I am always grateful for those moments when I hear myself say something to someone and it seems to take on a bit of a ring. It reverberates in my head. And I realize that it is the a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Having to do all this stuff on my own I have noticed something. NOTHING has gone smoothly. I think I have my tv thing all tied up and done. Instalation day set, order done, price done. They sent the wrong receiver. I call them, they go on about all this bolony. I took notes I KNOW what he told me. So now they ar...

sarebaer · sarebaer

For the month of January my Ah and his drinking buddy take the month off from drinking to prove they can. They usually dont make the entire month. But mine did this year. I told him I have mixed feelings because I get to see what a "normal" life could be like without his drinking then get shoved b...

vols2001 · vols2001

We live in different states and my other siblings and I were not included in therapy sessions during her two weeks of rehab. I tried to talk to my brother-in-law about my sister's strange behaviors (not paying attention to her kids, ages 4 and 3, always arguing and angry at me and our other sister) and d...

Steph444 · Steph444

I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...

Lostinthisworld · Lostinthisworld

Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...

amanda07 · amanda07

From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn

Chelle3 · Chelle3

This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I watched, "Bicentennial Man" spell? I found myself crying at the end. Though I cannot remember, blocked out, the strong love we had. my A and I, things will make me cry. AFter all these years! What Dreams may come gets me too, and Ghost. Some is my first A husband who died, some is my dear ex AH k...

sick-and-tired · sick-and-tired

Hello. I don't even know where to really start. Bare with me..as this might be a little long. My alcoholic is my mother. She was diagnosed with cirrhoses of the liver about 3 years ago. They put her on hospice (an agency for the terminally ill) The disease ran its course pretty quick, and within the year s...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I was married to an alcoholic/co-dependent. My mom is very co-dependent and is now addicted to pills. I've been in a relationship now for two year with a man who I love very much. He is also an addict but he has only had one slip up during our this 2+ years and has sporadically attended NA meetings (not enou...

badvox · badvox

Hello group, My name is Mike and this is where I am at. I myself am a recovering addict with 16 years. However, this side of this is new to me and I am now learning what I put my loved ones through when I was active in my addiction. Recently, (this week Wednesday) I had to put my foot down with my wife. Actuall...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Since A-BF's relapse over the weekend, I have been so hurt and angry. But I am still focusing on my recovery. I was scolding myself for being angry, but it is what it is. I feel like I have that right, as long as I don't react. I have been trying very hard to detach from the situation. If he calls me and starts w...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So. I talked to my AH last night. Took care of the kids, did some journalling and soul searching and then woke him up and said we need to talk. I told him "you need to go to rehab or AA and the alcohol stops today. You need to accompany me to marriage counselling if you still want a marriage. I love yo...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

At times, some have shared helpful youtube videos on this board. How does one do that?

amanda07 · amanda07

I have a Social Work degree, so I have always had a need to nurture and 'help' others in need. However, I never thought I'd allow myself to remain in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. I even did my undergraduate internship with a chemical dependency support program, so I know the signs. I've been datin...

Ness · Ness

Hi family..........my long trip is over. Ive had no computer for the last 2 months on the road..... it was an old laptop and finally gave out. Ive missed checking in here at MIP and now have lots of catching up to do. The trip has been healing for both husb & I....taking ourselves away from the disease...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife and I are basically a year into this situation...a year ago it was becoming apparent that there was a problem with her drinking...the other issues in our relationship were there previously; and the other individual issues in our lives have been there for many, many years, long before we knew e...

Steph444 · Steph444

This may not be all that important in the larger scheme of life, but it is driving me crazy. Everytime my husband is home in the evenings and I am studying, he finds things to try and fight about. Everything could be perfect and he would find SOMETHING. If I'm just watching tv or cooking, he doesn't do i...

Issy18 · Issy18

Ive been living with an addict for a couple years now, in the form of my sister. Me and my sister used to have a really good relationship, but after she came back home from college her drinking took over. She started doing other drugs as well. After the past couple years, Ive grown to have a immense dislike...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I attended my first meeting tonight. It was emotional and comforting at the same time. I didn't say much. When I first got there, a man in the group talked to me and asked me if I wanted to share why I was there. I tried to but ended up getting choked up. WHY do I DO that??!! I know I am strong enough to admit I ne...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I probably should be at a meeting but I have not been feeling good. The problem is even when I`am not feeling well, I want to see my grandaughter and I push myself to make a good dinner because I feel that this is a good opportunity to get her to have some healthy food. I`am really struggling with her lately....

kath · kath

I know I really must sound like a broken record. After no contact with my AH since the first of January, I decided I would let him know how our daughter is doing. It ended up in a big fight. I know he is still using. He does not want to come to our home to see her, he wants me to bring her to him for an extended stay....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am working at the state mental health facility in Myrtle Beach, SC. I was talking to my supervisor who said.... I want you to start going to alanon meetings... I told him I was well acquainted with alanon and had no problem with that and that I had been for personal reasons. He said he had too and that i...

GG Jones · GG Jones

I am new to this forum, but have been lurking for a while reading others post. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with Lupus and RA three years ago. Since then our life has been a living hell. His family doctor started giving him pain pills, while his rheumatologist told him he didnt need to be taking op...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Again things are ok, I'm not particularly down etc but I am having trouble dealing with regret. At the moment I stuff it more than anything or ignore it but I know that's not coping. I haven't learned yet how to actually "cope" with it. One of my biggest regrets is that my life choices have l...

Jennifer · Jennifer

After all the fear of my exah, which I later figured out was actually fear of myself reverting back to pre AlAnon days ... I have been in contact with my exah and am just fine. My side of the road is pretty normal, busy with work, school, working on myself and my moostiff. Over on his side of the road, a treatm...

Steph444 · Steph444

Well, my husband went back to work yesterday. He has been off since January. That's the nature of his job, so we are used to that. When he walked in the door last night, he was a completely different person. He gave me money for bills and was rather pleasant to be around. Today, I am sick....sinus cold.......

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, not been on for awhile. AH and I had reached an impasse and he was set on doing the "moderation" thing. I set some rules of what I could tolerate and went about my own business. I have started counselling with a therapist who specializes in addiction. I have not been to any meeti...

parfait624 · parfait624

Okay so mostly I am venting....it has been almost two months since my ABF sent me a text I don't want any communication from you and three months since it all came crashing down. It hit me like a truck everything was perfect then my sober (off alcohol not pot) BF started picking fights. We were back wher...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am breaking my addiction to me exAH and am reading every Al-anon book I can get my hands on. I am being a good mom and working my 3 part time jobs. I signed up for a 5k and my 13 year old a half marathon in May. I go to Church. I walk my dog regularly with my friend, I attend bible study, I attend a once a month par...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Hey everyone. I'm still doing fairly well. I've made a conscious effort to play with the puppy my wife got (even though I still don't WANT him). I find I get more annoyed than I usually would when he craps on the rug etc. Not his fault, but it reminds me that I don't want him. So, I try to have fun with him...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My ah & I did something kind of underhanded yesterday. I don't want to go into what it was but I feel guilty. It has to do w/ my MOM who I love dearly. Anyhow, I hope if she ever finds out she will forgive us. Like Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that! Now I have to go on w/ my life & strugg...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is my Dad again! I can't believe it --it looks like he might be back in the hospital according to my Mom. I can't believe that he is not getting healthy again. I want so bad to get good news that sticks! I am so grateful today that my Dad is still alive, though. I am counting on some good things happening for...

helpinghand56 · helpinghand56

I have a friend that lives out of state. He recently got sober and has been going to meetings. I have been sending him messages of support and he has been grateful and thanked me for supporting him. However last Sunday he responded to a message from me saying he was good but overwhelmed and would drop m...

floridawife · floridawife

Okay I know in Al-Anon we are not really suppose to give advice but I could really use some right now. A little back history: My AH has admitted his problem (he doesn't drink constantly-but occasionally he will go out with friends and get totally wasted), he drives drunk, swears it won't happen again, I...

Niecy · Niecy

Okay, So I've decided to start this program...the problem is that I care for 2 young children almost always. My ah is hardly ever here and I don't really have childcare. Can I start the program online? Here? How do I get a sponsor?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I'm SO Afraid of Becoming my Mother! (Preview) In some ways that would be good. She's a loving, attentive person (so am I). But she's probably a little too much so...overbearing that is. Anyway, my daughter is 4. She's a very funny, intelligent little girl. She's testy though! (as all 4 year olds are I'm sure...I have nothing to compare it too since...	delhommefan	3	1051	Apr 2, 2011 by likemyheart
	Just checking out my signature (Preview) On my last post, my name showed	Ruby	0	466	Apr 2, 2011 by Ruby
	Ok so I am not perfect! (Preview) It is April Fool's Day & I can't think of a joke; oh well...the truth is I am not perfect! New's flash: I am not even close. I want to spend this day as light-hearted as possible. By the way, on a note, I have been recovered from surgery almost 6 mos. Where did the time go? I am so grateful for all of you who...	Hoot Nanny	2	903	Apr 1, 2011 by Debilyn
	Not sure if I am doing the right thing (Preview) Hi guys, I had a little 'debate' with my partner, and now I am trying to work out if I did the right thing. It's all rather silly... He has been away for weeks and it's his first day back. Somehow things are always strained when this happens. He gets stressed because I have been reluctant to take responsibi...	TheJeanGenie	4	1158	Apr 1, 2011 by likemyheart
	Son is ‘’off the radar’’ (Preview) No one has seen him for a week which is unusual as hes a very visible drunk, hes a wanderer.He picked up the drink again recently after 9 months in recovery and quickly deteriorated to the way he was before (and worse) so has been a frequent visitor to hospital and police stations. Hes had his phone stolen...	Ness	6	1108	Apr 1, 2011 by Ness
	I heard a story...... (Preview) the last 2 weeks 3 different people have come to me out of concern for my husband. We live in a very small town and for the most part know what's going on with each other around here. So my divorce won't be final until July, but I moved out and try as I might to stay dettached with love to my A. We share our kids ha...	flopadopilus	9	874	Apr 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	Thought everything was ok (Preview) Hi again. It's been a long time since I posted. I thought I was dealing pretty well with my ABF, but now I have learned that I am not. He brings out the worst in me, making me feel bad about myself. I am still enabling, though I thought I was not. We are not good for each other, and I realize that. I think we a...	member922	10	1098	Apr 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	love! (Preview) I have been really struggling lately and practicing all the behaviours that got me here, the difference is now i know I know, where as before I didn't, this all started long before I met my a, and I have been asking god a lot lately to please help me to see whats wrong, and I you know what? I think he has. I thi...	Katy	1	620	Apr 1, 2011 by Chelle3
	Just a Thought For Today (a revelation I suppose) (Preview) This morning I was meditating which I've just recently started doing. I've worked my way up to 10 minutes, but it is still hard for me to completely erase my mind for that long and breathe the correct way. Today I kept forgetting to focus on my breathing, and it was almost like I was holding my breath. The...	delhommefan	2	886	Mar 31, 2011 by Jerry F
	Help! Going out of town this weekend... (Preview) Hi everyone, My husband has been sober for a little over 40 days, but we're still pretty new to all of this. His sobriety has been fairly easy so far--he can't drive, we haven't been in any situation where he'd be expected to drink, etc. What I'm struggling with right now is that I'm going out of town this w...	TaylorAnn	10	1253	Mar 31, 2011 by Jerry F
	"Hope for Today": and my encouragement - They [the A's] have the disease, I live with the dis-ease it causes. (Preview) Hi Family, Many of you will know that I have travelled a long journey over the last forty years, twenty of them with a very violent alcoholic, who ripped our family to shreds and has left a trail of damaged people behind him who are still struggling today to come to terms with all the abuse and violence and...	Suzannah	3	1155	Mar 31, 2011 by danz1886
	Would this be controlling?... (Preview) I understand that I can't control the people in my life, but I'm trying to understand when it is OK to state your opinion. AH has bad allergies for the past few days that were absent when he travelled 5 hrs away for a couple days. Therefore, he's decided it must be something in our house. I've been through t...	Chelle3	13	1334	Mar 30, 2011 by Chelle3
	Self sabotage (Preview) I workout than eat, eat than workout, hmmm how come I lose only 1-3 lbs a month. I feel my mind not at peace and wrestling around with what? I am my own worst enemy. I feel insecure and inadequate around people, but it doesn't stop me from doing or saying things I later question. I am the first person to gree...	flopadopilus	7	1237	Mar 30, 2011 by GailMichelle
	cleaning up the A's mess (Preview) i'm really grateful for all the support i find here. in fact this morning i was very, very close to self-injuring because i felt absolutely hopeless, i couldn't even connect with my HP at the time. i just knew i had to get here and look for any guidance i could find, to beg my HP to show me anything that could...	purpleraven	4	861	Mar 30, 2011 by Mattie
	Trying to focus (Preview) Tough week. Husband took out a money market fund account, although not knowing what one is. He wants me to go to the bank to get it changed back. He said the banker did everything and he had nothing to do with it. He doesn't want to accept his part in anything and wants me to fix everything. I'm tired of fixin...	gladysg	3	718	Mar 30, 2011 by gladysg
	"Operation Save My Kid" coming together (Preview) Wow! The love and support I feel from all of you with your posts and pms is overwhelming. Thank you! I do not have time to to write much as it is a new day again! Let me just say that with daylight and friends and professionals supporting me comes some clarity. I came up with a 'new" plan yesterday m...	Loupiness	5	1083	Mar 30, 2011 by canadianguy
	bewildered (Preview) I havent vented in such a long time, because there was nothing to vent about. Until the last few days. I am bewildered and bothered, but not bewitched. A couple of years ago I became friends with this lady on f/B, she seemed nice enough and she had lost a son thru a drug overdose and she created a group for...	Bettina	13	1170	Mar 30, 2011 by Bettina
	Expectations (Preview) Have you ever realised that sometimes the exact piece of advice you need is the one you find yourself giving to someone else. I am always grateful for those moments when I hear myself say something to someone and it seems to take on a bit of a ring. It reverberates in my head. And I realize that it is the a...	searching4peace	7	946	Mar 30, 2011 by abbyal
	Was just thinking (Preview) Having to do all this stuff on my own I have noticed something. NOTHING has gone smoothly. I think I have my tv thing all tied up and done. Instalation day set, order done, price done. They sent the wrong receiver. I call them, they go on about all this bolony. I took notes I KNOW what he told me. So now they ar...	Debilyn	0	493	Mar 29, 2011 by Debilyn
	Forgot to keep reality where it belonged!! (Preview) For the month of January my Ah and his drinking buddy take the month off from drinking to prove they can. They usually dont make the entire month. But mine did this year. I told him I have mixed feelings because I get to see what a "normal" life could be like without his drinking then get shoved b...	sarebaer	7	1093	Mar 29, 2011 by abbyal
	New to Al-Anon...sister just completed inpatient for narcotics and alcohol (Preview) We live in different states and my other siblings and I were not included in therapy sessions during her two weeks of rehab. I tried to talk to my brother-in-law about my sister's strange behaviors (not paying attention to her kids, ages 4 and 3, always arguing and angry at me and our other sister) and d...	vols2001	4	902	Mar 29, 2011 by abbyal
	abandonment (Preview) I just left a very tough therapy session. As I often do, I sat in my car crying. I've cried more in the last month than I have in my entire life. Not only has my husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore. His entire family will no longer speak to me. They haven't spoken to me since august. I didn't do anyth...	Steph444	13	1379	Mar 29, 2011 by Otie
	this is WAY bigger than me.. call the cops? (closed) (Preview) I have been posting about my 17 yr old son and how he is living with a friend right now. I will save the regret and guilt I have about this for another post, for I really need some guidance right now. We were following the guidance of a counselor who suggested we do different than we always have, and allow ou...	Loupiness	12	1229	Mar 29, 2011 by Jerry F
	My da (Preview) Im 16 and my dad is an alcoholic. Ther is nothing i want more for my family to stay together and be happy but i do not know when or if that is even possible. In the fall of last year we had an intervention for my dad, he refused to have treatment but said the famous line that he would just stop drinking. His drink...	Lostinthisworld	4	806	Mar 29, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Detachment? (Preview) From the little bit of reading I've done on detachment, I've done nothing more than confuse myself. Is it in a physical or emotional form? Both? Can I remove myself from my relationship but still be there to provide occassional support and still consider myself 'detached?' Again, I'm confused. What...	amanda07	4	1471	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Marisie where are you?? (Preview) Please check in if you can. Been too long. love,debilyn	Debilyn	2	685	Mar 29, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Couples Behavior Therapy to treat alcoholism.... (Preview) This is my 1st post. I am active in Alanon in my town and have attended a couple online meetings here. To make a long story short, I have an AH who I've been married to for 18 yrs. We have 2 daughters, 15 & 17. He had a "nervous breakdown"" 6 months ago and afterwards became verbally abus...	Chelle3	22	1407	Mar 29, 2011 by linbaba
	When and How to Tell People about the group (Preview) I was just wondering how open you veterans have been about your recovery. I am somewhat embarassed to tell people about the meetings, which is probably ridiculous. I guess it's kind of like going to a therapist...it's personal and I was never one to share with many people what I was doing. I really do wa...	delhommefan	8	759	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	megacrisis time, need a sponsor (Preview) my A boyfriend of 5 years has "broken up" and come back so many times, i've joked that i need to install a revolving door. i've learned so much from the offline meetings i've been able to attend as well as this group, and i'm getting the hang of detachment. however, Wednesday when the A broke up...	purpleraven	13	977	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	HP Gives of Challenges Right? (Preview) Right as I start this whole process, I feel like I am being tested. (That's ok...just hard) Sadly my BF called last night with horrible news. He's been at the hospital with his Dad for the past 3 days and they've been running all these tests on him. They diagnosed him with pancreatic cancer last night and...	delhommefan	5	773	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Today Would've Been 8 Years of Marriage (Preview) I left my husband for good reason. Very good reason. One of the women in the meeting I went to last night said she'd been part of Al-Anon for 7 years and in all her meetings she sees about 50% of people who can and will stay married to the alcoholic and 50% who cannot and will not. I was part of the cannot/will n...	delhommefan	9	970	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	I still cried!! (Preview) I watched, "Bicentennial Man" spell? I found myself crying at the end. Though I cannot remember, blocked out, the strong love we had. my A and I, things will make me cry. AFter all these years! What Dreams may come gets me too, and Ghost. Some is my first A husband who died, some is my dear ex AH k...	Debilyn	3	797	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Intro for sick-and-tired (Preview) Hello. I don't even know where to really start. Bare with me..as this might be a little long. My alcoholic is my mother. She was diagnosed with cirrhoses of the liver about 3 years ago. They put her on hospice (an agency for the terminally ill) The disease ran its course pretty quick, and within the year s...	sick-and-tired	11	1123	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	Not sure hpw much more I can take!!!! (Preview) I was married to an alcoholic/co-dependent. My mom is very co-dependent and is now addicted to pills. I've been in a relationship now for two year with a man who I love very much. He is also an addict but he has only had one slip up during our this 2+ years and has sporadically attended NA meetings (not enou...	delhommefan	13	1356	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	First time - Need help (Preview) Hello group, My name is Mike and this is where I am at. I myself am a recovering addict with 16 years. However, this side of this is new to me and I am now learning what I put my loved ones through when I was active in my addiction. Recently, (this week Wednesday) I had to put my foot down with my wife. Actuall...	badvox	9	957	Mar 28, 2011 by maresie
	I Think I Did This The Right Way... (Preview) Since A-BF's relapse over the weekend, I have been so hurt and angry. But I am still focusing on my recovery. I was scolding myself for being angry, but it is what it is. I feel like I have that right, as long as I don't react. I have been trying very hard to detach from the situation. If he calls me and starts w...	delhommefan	2	651	Mar 28, 2011 by RLC
	"moderation" .... update (Preview) So. I talked to my AH last night. Took care of the kids, did some journalling and soul searching and then woke him up and said we need to talk. I told him "you need to go to rehab or AA and the alcohol stops today. You need to accompany me to marriage counselling if you still want a marriage. I love yo...	newleaf66	4	782	Mar 28, 2011 by canadianguy
	To Embed a Youtube video - how? (Preview) At times, some have shared helpful youtube videos on this board. How does one do that?	GailMichelle	4	1161	Mar 28, 2011 by GailMichelle
	First time (Preview) I have a Social Work degree, so I have always had a need to nurture and 'help' others in need. However, I never thought I'd allow myself to remain in an unhealthy, toxic relationship. I even did my undergraduate internship with a chemical dependency support program, so I know the signs. I've been datin...	amanda07	8	1112	Mar 27, 2011 by amanda07
	Update (Preview) Hi family..........my long trip is over. Ive had no computer for the last 2 months on the road..... it was an old laptop and finally gave out. Ive missed checking in here at MIP and now have lots of catching up to do. The trip has been healing for both husb & I....taking ourselves away from the disease...	Ness	5	810	Mar 27, 2011 by Ness
	Just keep thinking that divorce is the only answer... (Preview) My wife and I are basically a year into this situation...a year ago it was becoming apparent that there was a problem with her drinking...the other issues in our relationship were there previously; and the other individual issues in our lives have been there for many, many years, long before we knew e...	usedtobeanyer	12	1145	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Need some ideas please (Preview) This may not be all that important in the larger scheme of life, but it is driving me crazy. Everytime my husband is home in the evenings and I am studying, he finds things to try and fight about. Everything could be perfect and he would find SOMETHING. If I'm just watching tv or cooking, he doesn't do i...	Steph444	13	1003	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	In desperate need of advice. (Preview) Ive been living with an addict for a couple years now, in the form of my sister. Me and my sister used to have a really good relationship, but after she came back home from college her drinking took over. She started doing other drugs as well. After the past couple years, Ive grown to have a immense dislike...	Issy18	6	1098	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	I Did It! (Preview) I attended my first meeting tonight. It was emotional and comforting at the same time. I didn't say much. When I first got there, a man in the group talked to me and asked me if I wanted to share why I was there. I tried to but ended up getting choked up. WHY do I DO that??!! I know I am strong enough to admit I ne...	delhommefan	9	820	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Feeling Really Rotten about myself... (Preview) I probably should be at a meeting but I have not been feeling good. The problem is even when I`am not feeling well, I want to see my grandaughter and I push myself to make a good dinner because I feel that this is a good opportunity to get her to have some healthy food. I`am really struggling with her lately....	Samsgram	12	1040	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	broken record (Preview) I know I really must sound like a broken record. After no contact with my AH since the first of January, I decided I would let him know how our daughter is doing. It ended up in a big fight. I know he is still using. He does not want to come to our home to see her, he wants me to bring her to him for an extended stay....	kath	10	1088	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	Started my Practicum (Preview) I am working at the state mental health facility in Myrtle Beach, SC. I was talking to my supervisor who said.... I want you to start going to alanon meetings... I told him I was well acquainted with alanon and had no problem with that and that I had been for personal reasons. He said he had too and that i...	carolinagirl	3	761	Mar 27, 2011 by maresie
	New here, LOST! (Preview) I am new to this forum, but have been lurking for a while reading others post. My husband of 23 years was diagnosed with Lupus and RA three years ago. Since then our life has been a living hell. His family doctor started giving him pain pills, while his rheumatologist told him he didnt need to be taking op...	GG Jones	6	962	Mar 27, 2011 by GG Jones
	Coping with regret (Preview) Again things are ok, I'm not particularly down etc but I am having trouble dealing with regret. At the moment I stuff it more than anything or ignore it but I know that's not coping. I haven't learned yet how to actually "cope" with it. One of my biggest regrets is that my life choices have l...	mjhyankees	12	5392	Mar 27, 2011 by Christy
	twists and turns (Preview) After all the fear of my exah, which I later figured out was actually fear of myself reverting back to pre AlAnon days ... I have been in contact with my exah and am just fine. My side of the road is pretty normal, busy with work, school, working on myself and my moostiff. Over on his side of the road, a treatm...	Jennifer	2	830	Mar 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Stayin' On the Right Track (Preview) Well, my husband went back to work yesterday. He has been off since January. That's the nature of his job, so we are used to that. When he walked in the door last night, he was a completely different person. He gave me money for bills and was rather pleasant to be around. Today, I am sick....sinus cold.......	Steph444	1	791	Mar 26, 2011 by hotrod
	"moderation" has run its course... (Preview) Hello all, not been on for awhile. AH and I had reached an impasse and he was set on doing the "moderation" thing. I set some rules of what I could tolerate and went about my own business. I have started counselling with a therapist who specializes in addiction. I have not been to any meeti...	newleaf66	5	903	Mar 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	It sucks loving someone who is sick! (Preview) Okay so mostly I am venting....it has been almost two months since my ABF sent me a text I don't want any communication from you and three months since it all came crashing down. It hit me like a truck everything was perfect then my sober (off alcohol not pot) BF started picking fights. We were back wher...	parfait624	16	1395	Mar 26, 2011 by sick-and-tired
	Without the drama life seems dull (Preview) I am breaking my addiction to me exAH and am reading every Al-anon book I can get my hands on. I am being a good mom and working my 3 part time jobs. I signed up for a 5k and my 13 year old a half marathon in May. I go to Church. I walk my dog regularly with my friend, I attend bible study, I attend a once a month par...	flopadopilus	7	1066	Mar 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	extracting happiness (Preview) Hey everyone. I'm still doing fairly well. I've made a conscious effort to play with the puppy my wife got (even though I still don't WANT him). I find I get more annoyed than I usually would when he craps on the rug etc. Not his fault, but it reminds me that I don't want him. So, I try to have fun with him...	mjhyankees	3	829	Mar 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	why guilt is coming again! (Preview) My ah & I did something kind of underhanded yesterday. I don't want to go into what it was but I feel guilty. It has to do w/ my MOM who I love dearly. Anyhow, I hope if she ever finds out she will forgive us. Like Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that! Now I have to go on w/ my life & strugg...	Hoot Nanny	0	649	Mar 26, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	my Dad again! (Preview) It is my Dad again! I can't believe it --it looks like he might be back in the hospital according to my Mom. I can't believe that he is not getting healthy again. I want so bad to get good news that sticks! I am so grateful today that my Dad is still alive, though. I am counting on some good things happening for...	Hoot Nanny	3	669	Mar 26, 2011 by Desirae
	Friend is distant since starting AA is this normal? (Preview) I have a friend that lives out of state. He recently got sober and has been going to meetings. I have been sending him messages of support and he has been grateful and thanked me for supporting him. However last Sunday he responded to a message from me saying he was good but overwhelmed and would drop m...	helpinghand56	7	1138	Mar 25, 2011 by helpinghand56
	Need advice (Preview) Okay I know in Al-Anon we are not really suppose to give advice but I could really use some right now. A little back history: My AH has admitted his problem (he doesn't drink constantly-but occasionally he will go out with friends and get totally wasted), he drives drunk, swears it won't happen again, I...	floridawife	8	681	Mar 25, 2011 by Jennifer
	How to start via internet (Preview) Okay, So I've decided to start this program...the problem is that I care for 2 young children almost always. My ah is hardly ever here and I don't really have childcare. Can I start the program online? Here? How do I get a sponsor?	Niecy	5	1198	Mar 25, 2011 by xeno59
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.