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Alcoholic and dangerous situations
(Preview)
Hello. This is my first time on the message board. I've been wanting to go to an Al-Anon meeting but after my husband lost his job, we didn't have any money to have anyone watch my kids so I could go. Anyway, I'm looking for some advice, so-to-speak. My husband lost his job in June of this year. When that hap...
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LostMama31
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24
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9718
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Life on life's terms...
(Preview)
I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to he...
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youfoundme
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8
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1429
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When...
(Preview)
I have this question that has been circling in my brain since Thursday night. I stated on Thanksgiving day to my AH that if he was upset with me he could discuss it with me when he was sober otherwise I would not stay and tolerate unacceptable behavior (although with him I don't think unacceptable behavi...
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Jackie11
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10
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432
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Communication .. LOL!!
(Preview)
I have more days where I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and going about it all wrong. It's so frustrating to say something, say what I mean and still feel like a complete moron because it's misunderstood. At what point am I not communicating effectively. It's on my list of things to address...
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Pushka
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13
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572
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when you *know* something has happened...
(Preview)
My recovering, AH who has moved out (3 months ago) so we can have some space came by yesterday, he wreaked of flowery-disgusting cologne or something...his eyes were blooshot and glossy and earlier a huge bouquet of flowers was delivered to our two girls (probably $60)...um, something seems off?! I...
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sookie
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12
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777
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Do you let one small slip go?
(Preview)
So, my AH who was dry for over two weeks and attending AA meetings decided this week that he was only going to go if he felt the need. I just wanted to say "it's usually too late by then", but I didn't. Then yesterday he ends up going out for beer on the way home from work. I asked about his day and...
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TLD
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13
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584
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Update to my situation...
(Preview)
I got a call from the police this morning saying they got a call from a neighbor of a possible alcohol overdose at our address. I'm in another state so I called his mother to ask if she would go to the house and let them in. That is when I discovered my AH was with her, who knows where, and that he was the one that...
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LostMama31
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12
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558
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He's baaaa-aaaaaack! :(
(Preview)
Mini update: my ex RA has been complying with the stay away order [ far as I can tell ] and things have been calming down. Though to be honest I've been really really struggling with self esteem and the blues lately. The kicker: My attorney's office - and I've been hoping to end our contract - told me tha...
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rara avis
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11
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603
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Keep going back to step one
(Preview)
Well, I have not been on to post lately, but I do keep reading and checking in on this board frequently. I feel like I learn so much from this board and that I find so much wisdom, compassion and support here. I am often able to come here and redirect my thinking in a more positive direction and that feels gre...
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Doozy
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3
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304
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facing reality!
(Preview)
Where do I begin? Well...reality is really hitting me right now. Hospice has been called in & my DAD doesn't have much time for sure as I found out yesterday after my last post. My sister is now his caregiver for sure. I am so relieved but very sad as you can imagine. I will use the tools as I have been lat...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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354
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Thankyou HP
(Preview)
for a lovely weekend. This weekend was a bit of a test for myself. I went out on Sunday and left my husband at home. Doesn't sound like much does it. With my massive control issues, it was a biggie for me. Everytime I have left him alone he has been stoned or done things that he knows I dislike. Only recen...
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Lindaoakford
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5
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283
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My family is so broken right now.
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
I'm new to al anon. My husband has been and opiate addict for the past four years. The last two years have been the worst. He just finished up his 21 day stay in a rehab facility. Before he came home i told him that i wanted him to stay at our condo and our two daughters (6, and 3) here at our house...
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1982Mel
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4
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467
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Yesterday's struggle, today's delight.
(Preview)
Yesterday I was really having difficulty in general; worrying about my AH and also just doubting my HP. I am not ashamed to say it because my HP and I worked it out last night ;) What a difference 24 hours makes!! I mean today I am seeing the world as that bright, vibrant place again. Everybody I pass I th...
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Michelle814
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4
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738
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Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
(Preview)
This is what I felt like saying at the "start" of my day. Approximately 24 hours ago, I was still wide awake trying to find some peace with my stuffiness and sore throat...I have a cold where you feel completely miserable and there is nothing that really a doctor can do, just rest and vitamin C...
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12stepinKristi
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8
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782
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newbie needing some direction!!
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new to this site and even alanon. I am an ex alcoholic myself, but I wouldn't say I was a recovering one as I have not been involved or used any sort of program,just been gripping on to get by. My sobriarty date is 13.06.2008. My bf is an addict and when we met he was in recovery. Last year my world ca...
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serenityseeker1
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5
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494
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Setting Boundries???
(Preview)
My AS moved back into our house after 6 months of TX, he hasn't lived with us of 3 yrs. I failed by not setting boundries , our th house rules, what ever you want to call it before he moved back home. There are a few things that have came to our attention and now I am backed into a corner and heed to communicate...
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debbiems
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5
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472
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WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LISTEN?
(Preview)
All I can say is that people need to LISTEN & LEARN! I am so grateful that I am becoming a better listener but today I just need to be heard. I am even unable to type what I am thinking! I just want to say that everyone should remember the reason for this season no matter what you believe. This time of year i...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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381
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Dealing with family
(Preview)
I've always gotten along with my husband's family. However, since I left, I feel like I get jabs by their statuses through Facebook all the time. I've gotten to where I don't even go on FB anymore because I can't take any more stress than I'm already under. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised. It is h...
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LostMama31
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10
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464
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How to detach correctly with relapse incident
(Preview)
My AH relapsed last night - he is not home and has been gone all night. I knew it was going to happen and did OK yesterday, spent a great day and night with the kids. AH tried to called twice and I could tell he was drinking. The first time I told him I couldn't talk bc I was getting the kids to bed. The 2nd call cam...
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kael1539
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9
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735
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Not Doing Too Well in the Moment
(Preview)
When my AH was in rehab I had all the time in the world to work on myself. Now that he is out I find myself focusing on him far too often. It's a slippery slope I'm traveling down. I suppose I need to get reading some Al-Anon literature asap. I have to work late tonight so I can't go to a meeting. The more time I...
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Michelle814
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14
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583
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antidepressants
(Preview)
Does anyone have any experience with antidepressants-can the effects on the person taking have a similar effect as alcohol. MY AH just started taking for first time and the other day I though he was acting like he had been drinking (not drunk) but grinning and a little silly. Found no other signs that h...
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tired of trying
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7
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532
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New and very confused
(Preview)
Three weeks ago we got the call we had all been dreading. We knew that our 16 year old son had been getting high we had tried everything but nothing worked. The call came from his school, he was found in school with drugs, this is when we had hit our bottom, by the next day we were on our way to take his to an impa...
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confused76
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6
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468
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Its on my mind....
(Preview)
Aloha family...just gonna put out some thoughts and feelings I'm having at the moment. I'm edgy and anxious. Tomorrow starts the beginning of the "courting" dances I will be going thru until the problem with the police assault is done. I've been left alone with my thoughts and also ha...
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Jerry F
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18
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983
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Parent’s Handbook To Stop Home Visit AWOLs: Part II
(Preview)
My 16-year-old son was about to return home for his first visit from his residential treatment center (RTC). It had been a very long and difficult road for him. Like a bucking bronco, he fought every bit of the way. And continues. His defiance, like with most addicts, can best be summed up by Henny Y...
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Generic Writer
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3
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510
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Thought for Today
(Preview)
Here's some good food for thought, from Thought for Today's website: Something to strive for Remember, progress not perfection as you read. Working on Rebuilding Relationships Its easy to speak negatively when we do not like something about someone. We often react without thinking and beco...
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GailMichelle
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5
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3800
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Encouragement
(Preview)
My AH and I attend the Saturday night service at our church. Every week we sit in about the same place. Last night I was picking my niece up from kid church and the man who always sits behind us introduced himself. He gave me a card addressed to the couple who always sits in front of me and told me not to lose it...
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Jackie11
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8
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346
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need ESH....
(Preview)
Ok my head is going crazy with... Where is he? Is he ok? Is he alive? Is he sleeping on the street freezing to death?? He only has what is on his back... I feel the need to call every single one of his friends and just see if he is ok... I wanna scream..................
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kris10
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12
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388
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Ticked at my HP but sure He can take it...prayer request
(Preview)
I've lost so many people that I cared for in the past year it seems....my best grade school pal, my uncle, then a month ago my mom who was my mom, my dad and my best friend. There isn't five minutes that pass that I don't think about her. Everyone keeps saying it'll get easier with time, and every day gets h...
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shellyj123
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7
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539
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Sometimes my HP slaps me in the face when I need it.....
(Preview)
I was looking threw papers that I had just piled up on my table... Bunch of old mail and school work from my son that I hadn't even looked at, or maybe just skimed threw... When I come across this home made thanksgiving book my son made in school... I was looking at all his little drawings he made in it... Tur...
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kris10
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6
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326
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so much more to say!
(Preview)
I can't get on here very often so I will just say that I have so much more to say that I have to say! I am so frustrated w/ my mom. I love her & respect but my tolerance level is still very low. I am so in need of more meetings w/o her there. I went to two meetings that she wasn't at that I felt so much better when I...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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404
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HEALTHY RESPONSE???
(Preview)
I have been to many AA meetings and been here before. Thanks to God and 12-Step Meetings, my husband is in recovery. However I know someone who has a relative that has been an alcoholic for many years with short recovery periods. He has been to hospitals, rehab, AA and therapy. Unfortunately, as we a...
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wifeofalcoholic
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5
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548
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Has all the tools for Sobriety
(Preview)
so angry today at myself more than my 22 yrs old son. Yesterday started out great my son actually attended his first AA meeting after 6 months in treatment. I was so happy for him. then it all changed, he got a call from one of his "old" friends, asked for a ride to town ( we live out in the country)...
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debbiems
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6
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475
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PEOPLE ROCK!
(Preview)
Yes, there are times when people get to me but they still have many reasons to rock! I am so grateful I want to cry! My life is so much richer & I am so blessed. I may be finalically blessed & that makes a difference but the truth is I am mostly blessed by the prescence of the good no great people that I h...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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378
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Grateful
(Preview)
I wake up in the morning and have this precious time to ponder the days beginnings. My HP has graced me with the peace to be able to think freely in the quiet of the morning. These thoughts are deep and help me remember what is really important in life and to those I touch. I am grateful for that gift of quiet t...
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oldergal
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3
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311
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If I Could Rename This Site It Would Be
(Preview)
"CIP" "Care in Progress. People are so caring and sincere on this website. No one can solve your issues, but they certainly hang in there with you and give you real encouragement to keep on moving and growing until you can see some light. I thank everyone for taking the time to respond...
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oldergal
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5
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339
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Quiet Saturday Night
(Preview)
I wish they had meetings here on Saturday nights.. why don't they? Its the number 1 drinking night. haha. Writing it out will suffice. I am in a good position but my husband is doing so well I find myself thinking about him far too much. When he talks about his progress and how he's doing in the program it r...
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Michelle814
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4
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445
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Why am I surprised?
(Preview)
Why is it that every time this happens I'm surprised? Surprised how much it hurts, surprised how disipointed I am, surprised at how lonely I feel, how angry I feel, but most of all just how much it hurts? Will it hurt this much every time? Or do I become numb to it? Why does his drinking kill me so much? Is i...
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Bargee
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13
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495
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Buck - OT
(Preview)
I just really wanted to share this documentary movie by the name of "Buck", it's actually about the guy who Robert Redford based his character in "The Horse Whisperer" on. I can't remember the guy who wrote the book, however he spent a LOT of time with him as well, and the charact...
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Pushka
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3
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435
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relaspe ESH
(Preview)
Ok-I'm pretty sure my AH who had been sober and going to meetings for the last month after another relaspe was drinking yesterday. In the past I have either ignored or confronted-both unsuccessful-from reading this board it appears I should act like nothing has happened-but to me that feels like den...
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tired of trying
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12
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381
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Good to be back
(Preview)
Hi all. It's been too long. I've been without my computer for quite some time. I have been going to about one face to face meeting a week, definately not enough. Things were going pretty well for a while when I was concentrating whole heartedly on myself...then I got back into my disease and started focu...
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Corgi2
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5
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459
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"Follow your heart, but take your brain with you"
(Preview)
Today, I came across this saying: "follow your heart, but take your brain with you". The dichotomy is striking; another exercise in simple, but not easy. I sat here running it through all situations, pinpointing the struggle to fear. For me it is an exercise in giving myself permissi...
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bud
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5
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1144
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Venting my grief
(Preview)
There are so many times that I wonder if I should be with my husband. He is sober and not abusive in any way. I just get so angry with his actions from the past. I know I need to -really- forgive him, and there are times when I think I have, but I just can't forget. He has lied to me so much during our dating and eve...
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12stepinKristi
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3
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373
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The Umbrella of Faith (Part III)
(Preview)
**Please note: I do not propose to endorse nor oppose any religious belief or religious value in my writings. Having researched and studied this subject of FAITH in somewhat depth, it is my belief based on this research that I could utilize any world religion to support and validate what I write. I...
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John
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4
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411
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Bad day (better after a meeting)
(Preview)
During a discussion of how to handle a minor task at work, I disagreed with a co-worker and he started raising his voice and sounding angry with me... I spent the next half-hour in the bathroom crying. I *hate* that I'm so fragile stupid little things like this can set me off. I was really glad I was meetin...
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atheos
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7
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533
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Delusional disorder and dry drunk--need a sponsor
(Preview)
I'm codependant. My spouse of 2 yrs and 54 yrs old is divorcing me due to an irrational belief--a delusion that I was/am stalking her. She is menopausal, has depression, alcohol dependence, thinks now that we married too soon after her suicide attempt and sobriety. Her family used to like me and l...
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Rematch--
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18
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1420
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Sicker Than I Thought
(Preview)
So I am sicker than I thought. Now that I know I can not control my 22 yrs old AS. I am trying to control the way my husband deals with him. What in the heck is my problem. I never thought I was a control freak, wow I am alot sicker than I thought I was. So I am trying to take a good look at myself and see where this com...
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debbiems
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6
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523
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Writing it out
(Preview)
Michelle posted about relapse. Last night I tried to walk away and I was in the car and he absolutely would not let me leave. Yesterday was such a great day, I worked a 1/2 day then met my parents for lunch. I was able to get to the Tag office to change the registration on my car (6months later) and then got a te...
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Jackie11
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7
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459
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Relapsed
(Preview)
So last night and this morning I completely lost my serenity. This morning I flipped out of my AH; yelling, telling him I hate him, wallowing in self pity over the fact that I married an addict/alcoholic, and telling him I wish I had never met him. Am I proud? I am so ashamed. But this slip has actually sh...
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Michelle814
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10
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470
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Wow, that was... new. And nice!
(Preview)
The co-worker who yelled at me yesterday apologized today. A *real* apology, not an "I'm feeling guilty so I'll say I'm sorry, but here's why it was your fault I yelled at you". I'm not sure I've *ever* gotten a real apology from someone who's blown up at me before. I wish it was acceptable to t...
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atheos
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2
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284
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Bad day getting worse
(Preview)
I really don't know where to begin, but the day started out rough not will my 22 yr old AS just things in general. Not much food in the house, (my husband has been layed off of work for the last year) truck wouldn't start for me. So I had to call my sister in law for a ride. Work was tough! I guess in the back of my m...
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debbiems
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8
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585
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Step Two on Step Work Board! Join us!
(Preview)
We're on Step Two! Join us on the StepWork Board atstepwork.activeboard.comJust click on your group's step two area, read the chairpersons lead on the step, the responses/replies to it and then share your own experience, strength and hope on it.We will start on Step ThreeSunday, Dec. 25th, 2011...
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John
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0
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302
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Recovering Alcoholic Husband
(Preview)
I am currently seperated-3 months- from my RAH. He is 3 yrs sober. Drinking-wise he's not touched it..but his hateful, resentful personality stills lingers. When he's not complaining or passing judgement upon someone or telling me what i'm doing wrong..he doesn't say anything...totally diseng...
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Debi4vols
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10
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630
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new beginings
(Preview)
I'm new to this forum. I'm actually new to this hole concept of al-anon. I've never been to a meeting, I've been to scared. I just read adult children of alcoholics.I could relate to that book better then I've ever related to a person. so i hope to find support and safe place to start my recovery.
I just en...
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gg1123
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4
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426
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I am home from Cali and.....
(Preview)
I didn't want to leave. It was the first time I have visited my Mom and brother since I started Al-anon and it made all the difference. I can't believe how well it went. My Mom and I were able to hang out and take my girls to the aquarium together. I spent a day with my brother, his wife and kids and we even went w...
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Breakingfree
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6
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337
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Memories, History and thoughts....
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I'm not sure why I'm posting this, or if it will get me what I need in the end, but I have to share it and get it out of me. In 1999, ten years sober, I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting... I was sober, but a mess. Al-Anon helped restore me to sanity during this time. I also started Miracless In...
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John
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10
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388
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Progressive Alright!
(Preview)
I remember the 1st time i ever read the 4 types of alcholics out of the Blue Book. I remember thinking and even saying outloud to my cousler, oh, my husband will never be type 3 or 4. That was 7 years ago. Well, he was right! Alcholism is a disease that is Progressive and w/o treatment it only worsens. T...
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Sincerely
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3
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320
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Christmas gifts
(Preview)
When I was a teenager I ended up in a children's home because my mother couldnt' take care of me as I had a serious illness. The children's home, a huge mansion in the middle of nowhere, was a mix of all kinds of children who basically had no one. We were all ages, all races, some of us handicapped, and the...
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orchidlover
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8
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593
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booze in the bushes
(Preview)
So I take the trash out today and I see something in the base of my lilac bush. Winter here so there are no leaves. It's a big bottle of wiskey. Almost empty. So this is why it takes AH unreasonably long to take out the trash. Hmm. It sort of pissed me off, like oh I'm so bad to go to bed with, you have to have some l...
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GreenerGrass
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21
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626
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Hitting a big low after committing to Al-Anon
(Preview)
Ugh, I don't know what my problem is. In the past I have gone to some Al-Anon meetings, felt a little better and then stopped going. Then things get bad and I go back. In the meantime, I can see now I've been depressed for a while now, my AH has been an alcoholic for a long time and struggled with sobriety ove...
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kael1539
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8
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520
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90/90 - day five
(Preview)
(To break my pattern of isolation, I am doing 90 social activities in 90 days. Mostly Al-Anon meetings for now, but my sponsor says we can start counting other activities too once I'm ready for them.) Made it to day five... I am absolutely exhausted. I don't know how people with busy social lives find th...
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atheos
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8
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447
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