Has all the tools for Sobriety - Al-Anon Family Group

debbiems · Veteran Member

Has all the tools for Sobriety

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Debbie,

It helps to be able to realize that addiction is a disease, that we didn't cause, can't control and won't cure.

There is no rationalizing with addiction. Might as well nail jello to a tree or yell to hold the tied back, stick the addiction of choice in the yard and yell at it. It's not going to change the addiction. Good for you on not giving into your own temptation and want of calling him to find out where he was or is, I can only imagine how hard it is as a parent. Sometimes an addict has to choose recovery more than once before it will stick. We can love them where they are at, dislike the disease, give them to their HP and put the focus on us. For me it's what has helped me in all of my relationships.

Hugs P :)

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Because at 22...the huge majority of addicts and alcholics are simply not ready to accept that they cannot drink or use recreationally. They seem to think that is what everyone does at their age. It's sad but youth is one of the factors that makes recovery harder.

Youth, wealth, and health...when those things start to go...recovery often seems a better option.

Just my experience,

Mark

Jen · ~*Service Worker*~

It may help you to know that a fairly small percentage of people that get sober in AA do it on the first try. For some it takes many times in and out to get it. So don't let hopes get too high each time they get to AA, but have faith that if they keep going, even drunk or using, it will eventually take hold. They say bring the body and eventually the mind will follow.

My own AH who now has 4+ years sober came to meetings for 1 1/2 years never sober. Somehow it sunk in. It just takes time.

Now what can you do to help yourself feel better? A meeting? hot bath? coffee with a member friend? call your sponsor?

Just keep coming back.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Because he does not have the most important tool that no one can give him, the desire to do everything he can not to use.

He has not learned that being on program is sooooo much better than using.

He is 22, he sounds like he can take care of himself. I showed my son the door at 22. He learned what a powerful person he was and is. He was on program at the time and still is at 35. I am VERY proud of him.

He learned a job, money, vehicle, scuba diving, fishing, rafting, ocean fishing and more was soooooo much better than drugs and all that.

but I had to let him go to do that and NO it was probably like hell for me.

Hugs hon, there is still hope, they learn everytime they go to rehab or whatever. deb

debbiems · Veteran Member

Thank you all for the great things to think about.

LostMama31 · Veteran Member

My AH does too but at 31, he still isn't ready to completely submit to his HP. He keeps saying he is and is good for a few weeks, but now it's only a few days and the last week, not even that. I feel like it physically hurts my heart that I can't be with him right now. I miss so much the good times. He was my best friend and it's so hard to think back to all the times we laughed, hugged, kissed and to think his drinking has gotten so bad, he's put me and the kids in dangerous situations, I just had to make a hard choice and leave and keep trying to tell myself he has to do this himself. Until he is completely ready, it won't change.

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