The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am still around reading daily, but I wanted to post something that just hit me. Life on life's terms. What does it mean to you? I work at a newspaper and am at the front desk where many many people come in and want to tell their story and the newsroom won't listen to them, so they tell me if I have time to hear them...
This man just came in, he was doing his son's obituary. He died from a gun shot wound, probably in a drug related incident (from what the man said). The man said to me that he himself had started getting his life together just a few months ago and felt that God had pointed him in that direction so that he could handle his son's death. I said that sentence to him "its life on life's terms, right?" and he got emotional and said "you know, I go to a 12 step program and I appreciate you saying that, because without the program, I would have put drugs and alcohol in my system to help the pain of losing my son. Because of God and the program, I found a new way to deal with pain." That just amazed me. I told him "good for you! Peace be with you..." and he left. Sometimes HP really lets us know what we need to remember in our own lives through situations others are in. Things in my life are going very well. My loved one is sober now 2 months almost. He is doing great, is happy and feeling free from his addiction. All is well and I am grateful every single moment for our new life together. There was a time when I needed to hear "Life on life's terms" and "remain calm" and "Don't react..."
Just like in the book Getting them Sober...When I knew that I could live my life without him and his drinking, he knew it, and he chose to get better that day.... it does work... life on life's terms... thanks. Hope you are all well out there! Take care of you :)
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
I will have to think about that one a bit more and I am keen to hear responses to what it means to others... Life on lifes terms.. I am not sure how to interpret that or use it at this stage.
Hi youfoundme :) That's a really nice share. Honestly, I think it's an example of how a higher power works through each of us to help each other. It's so nice that you were able to share that with the grieving man and that he found comfort and you both had a very real moment of grace.
I love the idea of life on life's terms. It's soooo much better than trying to live life on MY terms. Trying to live on my terms clearly does not work and I'm so much better off just accepting life as it is, "on life's terms," and doing what I can with it. I guess that's what it means to me. I see it as another way of looking at the serenity prayer and that living life on life's terms means we don't have to fight it, freak out, or escape/numb/medicate with addictions.
Looking forward to hearing what others have to say :) Doozy
For me, Life on Life's terms has always reminded me to put in check my character defects "control freak", "martyr" and "victim"...it reminds me to be humble and grateful for being given each new day to try at Life again in a more positive way, and make the changes towards serenity. Because as Doozy said, trying to do it MY way hasn't really worked all that well.
What a beautiful share. We never know how something we say may help others (or hurt for that matter). This program works in wonderous ways
Thanks for your kind responses :) I agree :) We have to learn to live our lives with serenity each moment and not allow what life throws our ways to knock us off our path in the light :) It really does work :) HUGS all
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
It was not common knowledge to me that you could pray for God's will. I thought you prayed for everything you wanted.. "please don't let it rain on my wedding day God. Don't let me get sick the first day of vacation. God, please let me pass this exam, please let me get the job.. blah blah blah blah blah." It was not my fault, it's all I knew. People say it all the time.. "I pray to God I get this. I pray to God I get that." When you start living God's will for you or living life on life's terms EVERYTHING is better. really? Its like no matter what comes my way, with my HP, I know I can get through it. Mother Theresa said something like "I know you don't give me more than I can handle God, I just wish you did not trust me so much sometimes." Incredible!!! It feels good now that I stopped living life on my terms, I wanted everything perfect and nothing is. I expected my husband to be like God to me because a HP was foreigh to me. Now I rely on God and I let my husband be human... I don't need anyone else to make me happy, I can do it all by myself.. whether it rains today or not and no matter what life has in store for me.
great post, yfm. LOve it.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Learning how to ACCEPT Life on Life's terms has been a very powerful gift of this program.
Before this acceptance I would continually fight reality, complain about the rain, the drunk, the everything in the world and become a victim, Having accepted reality I no longer felt like a victim and leaned the truth that:
It does not matter very much what happens to us in this world but How we respond
Alanon has given me tools to respond in a positive healthy manner.
