Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Oksie · Oksie

Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...

Hope999 · Hope999

My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...

dianah · dianah

Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...

debbiems · debbiems

My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...

WantBetterforAll · WantBetterforAll

Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...

brit · brit

Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...

maire rua · maire rua

We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.

Grace7 · Grace7

There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So i logged into facebook and temptation got the best of me .. hate that .. i looked on my x's wall and he wrote to a girl asking her how she is, etc.. but i know him and i know he's trying to talk to her .. it's not paranoia .. it's a pattern after a breakup for him. As soon as i saw it, i felt sick .. i have recovery a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Before I found MIP I had joined another online community for those who are involved with alcoholics or have dealt with alcoholism. Every once in a while I may post there, but I'm not as active there as I am here. Can I just say that this forum is the most loving and supportive forum I have ever been on? I p...

Pushka · Pushka

I don't know how many people are currently active in service work for alanon. I have to say this is one of the most rewarding aspects of the program for me. I gotta keep giving it away in order to keep it. We go to a treatment center for family night once a month and this is my first night to go to this partic...

jonidreamsingreen · jonidreamsingreen

Hi, just want to introduce myself. I am 33 years old. My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. It started as a way for her to cope with an emotionally abusive husband and has spiraled out of control. After thirty years of her being controlled by him, they finally got divorced. She lives with me and my tw...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I feel like it was a pretty big a-ha moment, that has been a long time coming. I've been sick since yesterday morning...sick as a dog in that food poisoning kind of way. Yuck. I went to work for awhile today and came home in the late morning to rest before picking up my little guy from day care (I'm home al...

Pushka · Pushka

All I can say is UGH UGH UGH!!! I'm really trying to accept God's Will and not impose what my will is because of the whole door #1 and door #2 deal .. what God has in door #2 is what I want. I know it's going to be so much better than what I think I want, because my little pea brain can't wrap my head around what tr...

Doozy · Doozy

Thank you for your wisdom, kind words and encouragement when I needed them last week. As you may know, I've been struggling with some new health problems, but I am feeling much better this week both physically and mentally. I sooo appreciate being able to come here to find kind, supportive people who u...

amills4294 · amills4294

I am really trying to work my program and try not to allow someone elses upset with me take me off track. The upset is their's to deal with. Logically I know that but logic is not persevering right now. I have a very difficult time being on the other end of someone elses upset with me. I need help to not al...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Gezz!!! is it closure that's got me, i dunno. But 7 months seperated and I miss him sooo much. Sold the house 3 weeks ago. He totaled the truck a week ago. The guy who killed his son pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years just a few days ago. Lots of closure. OMG!!! i think i just got it!! for 7 mont...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had a fine weekend...AH's birthday was on Sunday, and we had a nice day enjoying the gorgeous weather. My AH tried to get ugly with me, and DID get ugly with his dog last night, but I just refused to go there. That is getting soooo much easier for me. A year ago I would have taken the bait and the whole thin...

GeneralLee · GeneralLee

I really don't know where to begin. She (my wife) is passed out right now. Not sure if she passed out from booze or not. History: Post partum depression starting with our 4th child, born 7 months ago. Prior child she drank and breast fed daily. He has some slowed development in speech (he is 2 and is just...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

what makes me so mad too is that even if i am obssessing, the part in me that makes me so mad at myself is that noone and no amount of anything is worth giving away our power, dignity, or serenity .. it doesn't matter who or what it is and still i do it .. when i do this, i close the door to my possibilities of s...

orchidlover · orchidlover

the ex A who I have not been with for over 4 years now was someone who was really charming, sweet, kind and understanding. On his dark side he was mean, nasty, vindictive and controlling. What I have learned this week is that I had a pattern of seeking out the same as I knew as a child. My mother could be swee...

Tuesday · Tuesday

Need some help and advice. I have been married to the bipolar-alcoholic husband for 6 years. We separated (legally married but living separately) 2 years ago during his major meltdown. During the last couple of years he has been in 7 detoxes, 3 halfway houses, one inpatient treatment center(20 days...

rehprof · rehprof

Today's the day I officially end a 29 year marriage...another casuality of alcoholism. Please send ESH...as I have to testify...because I am the plaintiff in the divorce proceedings. My goal -- don't cry! and this too shall pass...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Just wanted to share that I recently moved back into my mom's house...I am in my mid twenties, so I guess its not that bad lol. But I am re painting my bedroom and getting everything brand new for a fresh start and I started ordering some artwork for my walls. One of them is a wall decal that reads "Keep...

daisy31 · daisy31

I am reading a book called When God winks at you and there is a quote in it and it says: I'm an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened~Mark Twain This quote speaks to me so much because I have always lived inside my head so much that 99% of my worries never came true. Through Alan...

maire rua · maire rua

The follow up on my son's situation is that he is waiting for a place in rehab. There is a waiting list for six to eight weeks for this five month programme. Already he is manipulating how he can get to do what he wants. He still is staying with my father and tomorrow has a screening at a different centre whic...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So, I went to the meeting this morning on Step 3. When I share in these rooms, I realise there's a distinct possibility someone from my side will recognise my shares and am making the decision that, that's ok .. Remembering too though that absolutely nothing happens by mistake after step 3. This weeken...

willowtree · willowtree

It was my daughters birthday party last week and I really tried to remember the slogan "Keep in simple". I think I did relatively well. I love that slogan. There was another mom there who is somewhat of a friend who is a very nice lady but is very focused on things being orderly and she l...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

Just wondering if there is somewhere that I can go to learn about what to expect during the first few days of my AHs recovery. So far, the words that come to mind are: withdrawn angry depressed beaten Are these normal? He hasn't started a treatment program yet (or gone to any meetings). He just stoppe...

rehprof · rehprof

A very good friend of mine asked me if I knew about the phenomenon of monkeys throwing poop. I told her yes (thinking -- what in the world is she talking about?) She then asked me if I knew WHY monkeys threw poop -- particularly in zoos, primates throw poop to get people to stop looking at them. This is a grea...

Oksie · Oksie

Hi. This is a kind of 'reminder' post as I changed my name here, and a reintroduction to new people while I ask for assistance. Next week, my husband and I (sound like the Queen now), will not only be going to the lions den, he will be patting the lion. As you all know, my husband is a pot addict. He expresse...

luckycharm11 · luckycharm11

I'm truly at a loss. I want my marriage with AH to be over, but I cannot leave. The short version is this: I was a professional, just starting out, and had three children from a previous marriage. I met my AH at work, and he is 18 years older than me. I was very naive (even at 30), because I had never been expose...

katiekate · katiekate

Just a week ago I recieved an email from him. He said everything I wanted to hear. This of course was after a a few weeks of not seeing each other, just emails, him mostly cutting me down in his very what he assumed underhanded way. So he emails me and tells me how much he misses me, he Loves me, love wit...

RR · RR

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over three years, married for almost a year. He is a functioning alchoholic. I have one child from a precious marriage and he has one from his previous marriage. I am currently starting my 6th month of pregnancy. He was recently in his second vcar accid...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

It's so hard for me to cope with the fact that my AH is going it alone in his quitting drinking. He's done great so far, but he's back to his old attitudes. He has comments about everybody, talks to the TV and makes fun of everything he sees and hears, and is basically sarcastic and irritating. What gets...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm the one that was cooking corned beef, cabbage and potatoes for 10 Vets in Rehab yesterday. My friend helped me with a lot of the finishing touches, I'd done the prep work at home (two day process, my mom's Irish recipe). I showed up with my green shirt, red hair, freckles and made over 20 pounds of cor...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

My AH started having seizures this morning due to alcohol withdrawls. He had these back in July the first time he was hospitalized but this is the first time I have been alone with him when he had one. He is in very bad shape. He is in the Critical Care Unit and the doctor sad that the next 24-48 hours are cri...

hicktownmom · hicktownmom

My hubby and I have been married for 15 years and he has always drank. It goes up and down in amount, but it has always been there. Lately, I have been feeling like I'm avoiding him when he drinks. I'm resentful when he's drunk. He knows he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't see it as a problem. He honors his r...

Carla042 · Carla042

Hello all...I am ever so grateful for this worldwide fellowship and this room,11yrs ago I stumbled upon it in my quest to understand addicition and its effects it had on me as a spouse of an alcoholic...I breeze in and out over the years when I need to "get right" and feel so not alone. Fast fo...

f2fmember · f2fmember

Ok I've been in Alanon a long time but this issue is really getting to me. How do I deal with the daily controlling ism's and still maintain my own self worth? My AH is obssessed with time and money. He is constantly asking me about what time I'm going here or there (which is a nagging to tell me that I should b...

daisy31 · daisy31

Is anyone here an introvert? I am now realizing that that is why I am having a hard time with some shares in alanon. My thoughts are stuck in my head and body and yet I cannot organize them in a understandable way in the f2f meetings. I also take a while to process things others say in the meetings and have...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

I'm new to this site and pretty new to alanon. I'm still learning how this all works. And I have a question on how to react to certain situations. My bf has been sober since nye. He doesn't believe in meetings so he's not really doing anything to help himself other than not drinking. Well just last w...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

St Pat's is hard for me. Coming from a HUUUGE Irish family, drinking was the main priority on this day for many years. I woke today and went for a walk, I let my kitties out in the sun. I just did things I wanted to do. I did think a few times about all my friends who are out in the chaos, wearing green, with t...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone...past week has been a rollercoaster for me. I set some major boundaries and it was so hard to! He left me alone for a few days, then today the texts started, like "nice to know ya". Not long after the calls started. I took a few until I realized that he had to have been drinking to be...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

I wanted to share how I am healing today. Alanon has helped me redefine and define in new ways what recovery actually is. For me, I am realizing how much recovery has to do with my attitudes. As I pay attention to my attitudes, I begin to see how in so many ways my attitudes hinder me. A big barrier for me is th...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi my ex ABf turned up at 5 this morning full of drink and drungs. I opended the bedroom window and asked him to leae nicely. He climbed the fence and started throwing stones at my bedroom window. My 19 years old son went down stairs and told him to leave. He kept asking for me saying he has no where to go. My...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I know that I am not alone so why do I feel like I am sometimes? I am working on being more positive & excited about life. I hope that tomorrow looks better than today. I hope that I can get up & feel like getting up! I saw the doctor on Weds. I am playing the waiting game again. I know that it can be that w...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 9 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join us and share your thoughttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48321049/step-9-alanon/

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Interesting awareness I had on obligation .. somewhere in the meeting read, I heard that each of us has an obligation to work through what we are, where we are, when we are .. we have been given so much and come so far and our shares regardless of what they are will help someone in the future going through...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, Something has been going around in my head. In the aca big red book it reads, " Many adult children find ACA and begin recovery. A few seem to do well only to act out in addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or compulsive spending. Many of these addictions have been called secon...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Today's Reminder: I do not have to accept the continuous misery that goes with alcoholism. I will not surrender to the vagaries and machinations of the alcoholic. No one can distort my thinking unless I permit it. Then: God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through s...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

so i've missed the majority of my meetings for that last almost several days .. I went to one this morning .. I have another on Sunday and one on Monday evening.. So much of the learning has been interesting .. I'm tired this week; nearly to the point of feeling overwhelmed by many unavoidable circumstan...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I know I need sleep in a big way. I know I tend to take on too much responsibility. Awhile back I took on a fundraiser for my 13 year olds class to help fund them going to Washington DC. I am heading up the food commity that does the most and more frequent events. Today some kids from the class are coming to my ho...

frustratedandconfused · frustratedandconfused

I have been reading this board religiously since last Friday, and it is amazing how much I can relate to the stories on this board. It is like alot of you are in my house and talking about my AH. I never realized until going to this board how sure I am that he has a problem. I have been struggling with this nag...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	home again (Preview) Hi.... previously on Oksie..... As many of you may remember, I have been away with work. My husband came with me and the location was his old city where he lived for 21 years and was a massive pot addict. He came with me to see his kids primarily and to catch up with friends. This means... .catch up wtih p...	Oksie	3	348	Mar 22, 2012 by Oksie
	Struggling with one day at a time/divorce (Preview) One Day at a Time...The Next Right Thing...etc. 2 weeks ago, my AH and I agreed to divorce. In 3 weeks, I face becoming homeless and am currently unemployed. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. The grief and enormity of my situation hit me like a million pounds to the face last night. I am at peace with the e...	Dolly Llama	12	656	Mar 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	The Slow Death of a Marriage (Preview) My AH came by my office today (just drove to the curb- I didn't want to have him come into my office now that we are separated) to drop off some documents that I need in order to fight my way out of the IRS mess he has created. I asked him if he had paid the rent on our house (he has an arrangement with the mortgage...	Green Eyes	10	718	Mar 22, 2012 by respect
	I need help getting back my life...How to live with a dry angry drunk??? (Preview) My alcoholic husband gave up drinking about 8 years ago when it was my way or the highway for him. He stopped drinking cold turkey and without the support of a major group or program. At the time, I thought that was ok because we have two children (ages 6 and 8) and he is a good and loving father. I truly beli...	Hope999	20	670	Mar 22, 2012 by Hope999
	Unsure of what to do...newbie (Preview) Hello, I am a stay at home homeschooler with five children at home. Last year my husband underwent a massive heart attack and major heart surgery. His father died from alcoholism and addiction struggles have peppered our entire marriage. The heart attack has, for lack of a better term, heighten...	dianah	6	444	Mar 22, 2012 by abbyal
	Highly freaked out (Preview) My AS 22 yrs old drove the pickup down our mile and a half dirt road, it has snowed and the road is horrible, needless to say he wrecked it. My husband came unglued. I have never seen him so angry and our AS has done alot of things but i guess this was the topping on the cake. He told our son that he has 3 weeks to g...	debbiems	3	343	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Not sure if I am in the right place, but I will just start about my ABF (Preview) Hello, My first time here. I know the answer, I really do. I have seen so many posts on different sites about this. The answer is: I need to leave him behind, and focus on myself and my healing. He is (like they are) wonderful, handsome, charming beyond belief, talented. I have always felt that we had a &q...	WantBetterforAll	8	362	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Need help PLEASE (Preview) Where do I start....I have a 25 year old son. after 3 DUIs in only a couple of months I realized he was an alcoholic. Not that I am stupid...just NEVER saw him drink or drunk! He agreed to rehab, and spent a month in. Court is finished and he has lost his license for 7 years and on probation for 1 1/2 years with a...	brit	8	441	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Saying what I mean without being mean, but feeling mean (Preview) Hey everyone, so the calls started again tnite - this time they weren't as bad because from the beginning I said I didn't want to get into an argument because I knew he had been drinking. He didn't even try to defend himself and let me get off the phone without a hassel. I have been very good about setting bo...	Corgi2	8	482	Mar 22, 2012 by Corgi2
	Feel like crap (Preview) Am I allowed to say that in my thread title? I really am struggling with my emotions towards my AH. I get irritated at everything he says. I am totally on edge and I wonder if I love him anymore. It tears me apart to say that and I don't want it to be the end of our marriage but I am really struggling with wher...	ilovedogs	5	562	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Help with experience of treatment centres (Preview) We had an appointment with a counsellor at a treatment centre today. Unfortunately the counsellor made it clear that if I could not stay for the screening he would not see my son. It is recommended on their website that a family member would be present, however, it was more than a recommendation today....	maire rua	4	313	Mar 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	Exhaustion due to Family Abuse (Preview) I have asked a bit about this topic before but will try to be more specific. I am an AAer for years now and just started going to ACA and Alanon. thru the steps thoroughly but can't sleep at night. I am oftentimes awake at 2 and 3 am and am absolutely exhausted all the time, bags under my eyes, full of fear, can...	WorkingThroughIt	14	600	Mar 22, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	How do I get connected to the MiRC chat thing? (Preview) I am having trouble figuring out how to be able to get into the chat rooms. I would like to be able to do meetings some and chat as well but I can't figure it out. Is there some steps (haha no pun intended ;) on how to do this? Thanks so much for your help.	daisy31	4	336	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
	Meetings (Preview) There seems to be a gap in meetings lately. Has anyone else noticed this? What is up? Is there a need for more moderators? If so, someone in the know...contact me. I have come here for Years with the exception of my down time treating and recovering from cancer. Am healthy now!:) In all ways. I us...	Grace7	1	261	Mar 22, 2012 by lacewing
	feeling sick (temporary) (Preview) So i logged into facebook and temptation got the best of me .. hate that .. i looked on my x's wall and he wrote to a girl asking her how she is, etc.. but i know him and i know he's trying to talk to her .. it's not paranoia .. it's a pattern after a breakup for him. As soon as i saw it, i felt sick .. i have recovery a...	MeTwo2	1	278	Mar 22, 2012 by hotrod
	Comparing MIP to other forums (Preview) Before I found MIP I had joined another online community for those who are involved with alcoholics or have dealt with alcoholism. Every once in a while I may post there, but I'm not as active there as I am here. Can I just say that this forum is the most loving and supportive forum I have ever been on? I p...	ilovedogs	5	454	Mar 22, 2012 by hotrod
	Service work (Preview) I don't know how many people are currently active in service work for alanon. I have to say this is one of the most rewarding aspects of the program for me. I gotta keep giving it away in order to keep it. We go to a treatment center for family night once a month and this is my first night to go to this partic...	Pushka	3	546	Mar 22, 2012 by Pushka
	Adult Child of an Alcoholic Parent (Preview) Hi, just want to introduce myself. I am 33 years old. My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. It started as a way for her to cope with an emotionally abusive husband and has spiraled out of control. After thirty years of her being controlled by him, they finally got divorced. She lives with me and my tw...	jonidreamsingreen	4	437	Mar 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Learned something else about myself today (Preview) I feel like it was a pretty big a-ha moment, that has been a long time coming. I've been sick since yesterday morning...sick as a dog in that food poisoning kind of way. Yuck. I went to work for awhile today and came home in the late morning to rest before picking up my little guy from day care (I'm home al...	stephaniej	3	439	Mar 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Acceptance vs self will (Preview) All I can say is UGH UGH UGH!!! I'm really trying to accept God's Will and not impose what my will is because of the whole door #1 and door #2 deal .. what God has in door #2 is what I want. I know it's going to be so much better than what I think I want, because my little pea brain can't wrap my head around what tr...	Pushka	7	836	Mar 21, 2012 by stephaniej
	Thank you! (Preview) Thank you for your wisdom, kind words and encouragement when I needed them last week. As you may know, I've been struggling with some new health problems, but I am feeling much better this week both physically and mentally. I sooo appreciate being able to come here to find kind, supportive people who u...	Doozy	3	441	Mar 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Having a rough day - being challenged by my recovery (Preview) I am really trying to work my program and try not to allow someone elses upset with me take me off track. The upset is their's to deal with. Logically I know that but logic is not persevering right now. I have a very difficult time being on the other end of someone elses upset with me. I need help to not al...	amills4294	3	290	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	7 months seperate from my Active Alcholic Addict Husband, Miss Him So Much (Preview) Gezz!!! is it closure that's got me, i dunno. But 7 months seperated and I miss him sooo much. Sold the house 3 weeks ago. He totaled the truck a week ago. The guy who killed his son pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 15 years just a few days ago. Lots of closure. OMG!!! i think i just got it!! for 7 mont...	Sincerely	7	432	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	Hanging on to my serenity for dear life (Preview) Had a fine weekend...AH's birthday was on Sunday, and we had a nice day enjoying the gorgeous weather. My AH tried to get ugly with me, and DID get ugly with his dog last night, but I just refused to go there. That is getting soooo much easier for me. A year ago I would have taken the bait and the whole thin...	stephaniej	7	491	Mar 20, 2012 by amills4294
	Hi. (Preview) I really don't know where to begin. She (my wife) is passed out right now. Not sure if she passed out from booze or not. History: Post partum depression starting with our 4th child, born 7 months ago. Prior child she drank and breast fed daily. He has some slowed development in speech (he is 2 and is just...	GeneralLee	15	797	Mar 20, 2012 by GeneralLee
	what makes me so mad / obssession (Preview) what makes me so mad too is that even if i am obssessing, the part in me that makes me so mad at myself is that noone and no amount of anything is worth giving away our power, dignity, or serenity .. it doesn't matter who or what it is and still i do it .. when i do this, i close the door to my possibilities of s...	MeTwo2	10	595	Mar 20, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Seeing patterns (Preview) the ex A who I have not been with for over 4 years now was someone who was really charming, sweet, kind and understanding. On his dark side he was mean, nasty, vindictive and controlling. What I have learned this week is that I had a pattern of seeking out the same as I knew as a child. My mother could be swee...	orchidlover	5	668	Mar 20, 2012 by MeTwo2
	how to commit bipolar alcoholic into a treatment? (Preview) Need some help and advice. I have been married to the bipolar-alcoholic husband for 6 years. We separated (legally married but living separately) 2 years ago during his major meltdown. During the last couple of years he has been in 7 detoxes, 3 halfway houses, one inpatient treatment center(20 days...	Tuesday	7	3402	Mar 20, 2012 by Tuesday
	Off to court.... (Preview) Today's the day I officially end a 29 year marriage...another casuality of alcoholism. Please send ESH...as I have to testify...because I am the plaintiff in the divorce proceedings. My goal -- don't cry! and this too shall pass...	rehprof	14	567	Mar 20, 2012 by Doozy
	Keep it simple (Preview) Just wanted to share that I recently moved back into my mom's house...I am in my mid twenties, so I guess its not that bad lol. But I am re painting my bedroom and getting everything brand new for a fresh start and I started ordering some artwork for my walls. One of them is a wall decal that reads "Keep...	Corgi2	4	895	Mar 20, 2012 by Doozy
	working on not living in my head so much. (Preview) I am reading a book called When God winks at you and there is a quote in it and it says: I'm an old man and have known many troubles, but most of them never happened~Mark Twain This quote speaks to me so much because I have always lived inside my head so much that 99% of my worries never came true. Through Alan...	daisy31	3	448	Mar 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	A -son's actions (Preview) The follow up on my son's situation is that he is waiting for a place in rehab. There is a waiting list for six to eight weeks for this five month programme. Already he is manipulating how he can get to do what he wants. He still is staying with my father and tomorrow has a screening at a different centre whic...	maire rua	4	360	Mar 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	What have we got to lose ? (Preview) So, I went to the meeting this morning on Step 3. When I share in these rooms, I realise there's a distinct possibility someone from my side will recognise my shares and am making the decision that, that's ok .. Remembering too though that absolutely nothing happens by mistake after step 3. This weeken...	MeTwo2	9	497	Mar 20, 2012 by oldergal
	swayed by others...ugg. (Preview) It was my daughters birthday party last week and I really tried to remember the slogan "Keep in simple". I think I did relatively well. I love that slogan. There was another mom there who is somewhat of a friend who is a very nice lady but is very focused on things being orderly and she l...	willowtree	6	415	Mar 20, 2012 by kael1539
	What to Expect in the First Few Days (Preview) Just wondering if there is somewhere that I can go to learn about what to expect during the first few days of my AHs recovery. So far, the words that come to mind are: withdrawn angry depressed beaten Are these normal? He hasn't started a treatment program yet (or gone to any meetings). He just stoppe...	hicktownmom	9	542	Mar 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	An Insight from the Primate World (Preview) A very good friend of mine asked me if I knew about the phenomenon of monkeys throwing poop. I told her yes (thinking -- what in the world is she talking about?) She then asked me if I knew WHY monkeys threw poop -- particularly in zoos, primates throw poop to get people to stop looking at them. This is a grea...	rehprof	13	594	Mar 20, 2012 by Aloha
	Patting the lion (Preview) Hi. This is a kind of 'reminder' post as I changed my name here, and a reintroduction to new people while I ask for assistance. Next week, my husband and I (sound like the Queen now), will not only be going to the lions den, he will be patting the lion. As you all know, my husband is a pot addict. He expresse...	Oksie	12	542	Mar 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is there really a way out? (Preview) I'm truly at a loss. I want my marriage with AH to be over, but I cannot leave. The short version is this: I was a professional, just starting out, and had three children from a previous marriage. I met my AH at work, and he is 18 years older than me. I was very naive (even at 30), because I had never been expose...	luckycharm11	15	571	Mar 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	New here and in a lot of pain, anyone relate lol. (Preview) Just a week ago I recieved an email from him. He said everything I wanted to hear. This of course was after a a few weeks of not seeing each other, just emails, him mostly cutting me down in his very what he assumed underhanded way. So he emails me and tells me how much he misses me, he Loves me, love wit...	katiekate	8	488	Mar 20, 2012 by katiekate
	My alcoholic husband is lying (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over three years, married for almost a year. He is a functioning alchoholic. I have one child from a precious marriage and he has one from his previous marriage. I am currently starting my 6th month of pregnancy. He was recently in his second vcar accid...	RR	16	5626	Mar 19, 2012 by RR
	When they aren't working a program (Preview) It's so hard for me to cope with the fact that my AH is going it alone in his quitting drinking. He's done great so far, but he's back to his old attitudes. He has comments about everybody, talks to the TV and makes fun of everything he sees and hears, and is basically sarcastic and irritating. What gets...	ilovedogs	15	644	Mar 19, 2012 by hicktownmom
	St. Patrick's Day was fun (Preview) I'm the one that was cooking corned beef, cabbage and potatoes for 10 Vets in Rehab yesterday. My friend helped me with a lot of the finishing touches, I'd done the prep work at home (two day process, my mom's Irish recipe). I showed up with my green shirt, red hair, freckles and made over 20 pounds of cor...	AStrongerMe	7	445	Mar 19, 2012 by jm
	Horrible Day (Preview) My AH started having seizures this morning due to alcohol withdrawls. He had these back in July the first time he was hospitalized but this is the first time I have been alone with him when he had one. He is in very bad shape. He is in the Critical Care Unit and the doctor sad that the next 24-48 hours are cri...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	395	Mar 19, 2012 by Jennifer
	Beginning the Journey, I think (Preview) My hubby and I have been married for 15 years and he has always drank. It goes up and down in amount, but it has always been there. Lately, I have been feeling like I'm avoiding him when he drinks. I'm resentful when he's drunk. He knows he's an alcoholic, but he doesn't see it as a problem. He honors his r...	hicktownmom	11	458	Mar 19, 2012 by hicktownmom
	Not so NEWBIE..again ;) (Preview) Hello all...I am ever so grateful for this worldwide fellowship and this room,11yrs ago I stumbled upon it in my quest to understand addicition and its effects it had on me as a spouse of an alcoholic...I breeze in and out over the years when I need to "get right" and feel so not alone. Fast fo...	Carla042	8	538	Mar 19, 2012 by pineapple
	ISM's (Preview) Ok I've been in Alanon a long time but this issue is really getting to me. How do I deal with the daily controlling ism's and still maintain my own self worth? My AH is obssessed with time and money. He is constantly asking me about what time I'm going here or there (which is a nagging to tell me that I should b...	f2fmember	12	1568	Mar 19, 2012 by f2fmember
	Being an introvert in alanon (Preview) Is anyone here an introvert? I am now realizing that that is why I am having a hard time with some shares in alanon. My thoughts are stuck in my head and body and yet I cannot organize them in a understandable way in the f2f meetings. I also take a while to process things others say in the meetings and have...	daisy31	13	977	Mar 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	advice (Preview) I'm new to this site and pretty new to alanon. I'm still learning how this all works. And I have a question on how to react to certain situations. My bf has been sober since nye. He doesn't believe in meetings so he's not really doing anything to help himself other than not drinking. Well just last w...	julesredgirl	9	548	Mar 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	st. patty's day conundrums (Preview) St Pat's is hard for me. Coming from a HUUUGE Irish family, drinking was the main priority on this day for many years. I woke today and went for a walk, I let my kitties out in the sun. I just did things I wanted to do. I did think a few times about all my friends who are out in the chaos, wearing green, with t...	Michelle814	8	443	Mar 18, 2012 by Michelle814
	Here we go again... (Preview) Hey everyone...past week has been a rollercoaster for me. I set some major boundaries and it was so hard to! He left me alone for a few days, then today the texts started, like "nice to know ya". Not long after the calls started. I took a few until I realized that he had to have been drinking to be...	Corgi2	9	535	Mar 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	My First Run (Preview) I wanted to share how I am healing today. Alanon has helped me redefine and define in new ways what recovery actually is. For me, I am realizing how much recovery has to do with my attitudes. As I pay attention to my attitudes, I begin to see how in so many ways my attitudes hinder me. A big barrier for me is th...	BlueCloud	9	380	Mar 18, 2012 by rehprof
	detaching is hard but has to be done (Preview) Hi my ex ABf turned up at 5 this morning full of drink and drungs. I opended the bedroom window and asked him to leae nicely. He climbed the fence and started throwing stones at my bedroom window. My 19 years old son went down stairs and told him to leave. He kept asking for me saying he has no where to go. My...	Tracy	6	546	Mar 18, 2012 by rehprof
	I AM NOT ALONE! (Preview) I know that I am not alone so why do I feel like I am sometimes? I am working on being more positive & excited about life. I hope that tomorrow looks better than today. I hope that I can get up & feel like getting up! *I saw the doctor on Weds. I am playing the waiting game again. I know that it can be that w...*	Hoot Nanny	4	539	Mar 18, 2012 by Carla042
	step work board (Preview) Step 9 has been posted to the Step Work Board . Please join us and share your thoughttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48321049/step-9-alanon/	hotrod	0	251	Mar 18, 2012 by hotrod
	obligation (Preview) Interesting awareness I had on obligation .. somewhere in the meeting read, I heard that each of us has an obligation to work through what we are, where we are, when we are .. we have been given so much and come so far and our shares regardless of what they are will help someone in the future going through...	MeTwo2	5	540	Mar 18, 2012 by MeTwo2
	Adult Child Related - Just Thinking about Addictions (Preview) Hi, Something has been going around in my head. In the aca big red book it reads, " Many adult children find ACA and begin recovery. A few seem to do well only to act out in addictions such as drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, or compulsive spending. Many of these addictions have been called secon...	Tracey C	2	370	Mar 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Excerpt from ODAT reading for the day (Preview) Today's Reminder: I do not have to accept the continuous misery that goes with alcoholism. I will not surrender to the vagaries and machinations of the alcoholic. No one can distort my thinking unless I permit it. Then: God help me to accept the responsibility for finding a better way of life through s...	Jackie11	5	4881	Mar 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	lots of learning/long week (Preview) so i've missed the majority of my meetings for that last almost several days .. I went to one this morning .. I have another on Sunday and one on Monday evening.. So much of the learning has been interesting .. I'm tired this week; nearly to the point of feeling overwhelmed by many unavoidable circumstan...	MeTwo2	5	401	Mar 18, 2012 by daisy31
	Feeling Defeated! (Preview) I know I need sleep in a big way. I know I tend to take on too much responsibility. Awhile back I took on a fundraiser for my 13 year olds class to help fund them going to Washington DC. I am heading up the food commity that does the most and more frequent events. Today some kids from the class are coming to my ho...	Breakingfree	9	542	Mar 18, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Are you married to my husband? (Preview) I have been reading this board religiously since last Friday, and it is amazing how much I can relate to the stories on this board. It is like alot of you are in my house and talking about my AH. I never realized until going to this board how sure I am that he has a problem. I have been struggling with this nag...	frustratedandconfused	7	616	Mar 18, 2012 by katiekate
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.