The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, just want to introduce myself. I am 33 years old. My mom has been an alcoholic for many years. It started as a way for her to cope with an emotionally abusive husband and has spiraled out of control. After thirty years of her being controlled by him, they finally got divorced. She lives with me and my two children now because she is aging and has a disability, and her fresh ex husband wouldn't allow her to work, so she is kind of lost. She has lived with me for two years, and has drank on and off. She would sneak Listerine and drink that, and I didn't want it around my two boys (ages 9 and 10). After many times of her "sneaking" the alcohol into my home, I finally told her I had enough and made her leave. She went to a hotel for two days, and I told her if she would get help, then I would let her come back to stay, and that she could stay as long as she was sober. I am afraid the only reason she is in the treatment center is because of that, and not because she really wants help.
This is my first ever attempt at reaching out for support.
Hi, welcome. You should also consider looking for a meeting of adult children of alcoholics. I go in addition to Al Anon meetings and it's been a great experience. The meetings can be hard to come by as the program isn't as established as Al Anon or AA, but I would really encourage you to seek one out. ACOA has their "big red book"--when I started reading it, I was blown away by how much applied to me and my upbringing. I bet you would be as well.
Reaching out is awesome and you should be proud of yourself. Don't stop now.
Joni - I have learned in AA that there is never a bad reason for an alcoholic to be in treatment or go to AA meetings. Yes, it's best when their motivation is totally intrinsic but often times people enter into treatment at the request of others and then the information or the recovery lifestyle seeps in and there is a shift. Your mom is in a lot of emotional pain it sounds like. Rehab is the best place for her right now whatever the outcome.
For you - It sounds like a nightmare and I really cannot imagine having to set those boundaries with a parent. Of course Alanon is a great place for you and it would help to follow up. I admire the strength you have already shown in dealing with this.
Well all exposure to sobriety is good. There is a saying in AA that when someone has been sober for a while, every other drink is tempered by the knowledge they were once sober.
Of course you need suppport, love and attention. I have been on the other end of someone else's dependency. I think thats a tough road to be on.
Whatever road you are on al anon can help. I know myself that I have benefited tremendously from al anon. I hope you will give it a chance.
