Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

For the first time my RBF and I had some "things" to talk about. And generally I struggle with feedback as my co dependent reaction is a mix of "OMG I'm flawed, it's fatal" which can lead to bad reactions. I did something that was a good boundary. Because I'm learning that there i...

willowtree · willowtree

Has anyone had issues of being in alanon with someone who you just cannot stand being around? There is a lady who has been coming for many years and she seems to have all of the answers and is very judgmental of me when I ask her questions. I feel looked down upon. We only have few little meetings around h...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I shared on this yersterday, my daughter asked for help in getting into a GED program and she did'nt follow through. Today she called, nothing about yestrrday. I spoke to my sponsor and she asked if I hadn't helped her enough already, gave her a car, she lost it to impound, gave her a place to stay for ov...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I have made a few posts on here and am trying to make a habit of opening up what's going on with me so I deal with it in a healthy way and not let it sit and fester in me. I really like this website and the amazing support on here for everyone. I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and my 2 year old daughter. I h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so glad that my mom & I not only survived our trip on Saturday but we also didn't have to go to court yesterday(Monday) except me had to meet w/ the prosecuting attorney because she pleaded guilty to inattentive driving--she was under the influence of hydrocodone. It was a mess but now my mom is b...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

It's been 3 months since I last saw my AH, 2 months since we agreed to file for divorce and had any sort of email exchange about anything except the divorce stuff. I have been doing really well, minding my own business and going after my goals. Lately I've been thinking about my AH. Not in a needy way. I f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

over the process and am powerless over the outcome. Aloha all. Been doing lots of face to face work with my higher power with alot more listening (with an open mind) and memory work on the process. The program is mine to work...that's the process...my responsiblility and choice on how I do it. I com...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am thinking about me. Not how sad it is he is a miserable mess dying ever so slowly from his disease. How it took everything from me. It's not so much the material stuff, as that is not important to me. I only want/need the basics. Good quality ones. Was thinking how I am struggling so hard financially. Th...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, Posted a couple times on here, recently was last night. I have something more on my mind now. To those who aren't familiar with me, I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and our 2 year old daughter. His drinking is out of control lately. Drinking every day and then getting in the car to drive which I p...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

This has been on my heart and mind lately and hope it will help someone else. It helped me. When my mind starts spinning with the why's and why not's...I answer myself, "Because he's an alcoholic." Four little words that I struggle to accept or understand at times, but all the truth I need....

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I guess I consider myself lucky, blessed, what have you. I met someone recovering from alcoholism but after I'd gotten pretty far into my own recovery from another bad relationship. Not alcoholic but might as well have been. I'm just no longer willing to lose me. I guess after you lose yourself for...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am trying VERY hard to mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, and I am avoiding confrontation with him right now. He seems very depressed after the sentencing last week and I already know he's been shopping for guns online. Not sure why yet, but he's always been the type of guy to say, "The bes...

srtiels · srtiels

OK....the back story, my AH has been a drinker for 50 years, at a rate of 2 liters every 3 days. He drinks from 9-12PM. He says it is pain management for his back. He is 70, and over the last year has lost the muscle tone in his legs and can hardly stand, will not try to walk and stays in bed 24/7. In looking a...

amills4294 · amills4294

In the past several days I've recognized some real changes in myself in how I react to others. They are baby steps but boy does it feel good. My H does things that I don't like - I used to interject myself into those things and situations and get embroiled in them. Thanks to this program I'm finding I do t...

Bargee · Bargee

This is a really long post, so I understand if you don't want to read it. As some of you may know I'm at my wits end with my AH and the way he has been treating me. At the moment I really cannot stand him. So...anyway we wake up this morning and the first thing he wants is sex!! We have hardly even spoken civill...

lunakat82 · lunakat82

Hi All - I'm not sure if I'm writing in correct place, but I am struggling with family issues now and needed some advice. My husband has been smoking weed for about 10 years now - maybe past 2-4 years it's been very heavy - every day, a couple times a day (before work, sometimes during work, after work and...

LeahC · LeahC

Hello, I have only made 1 post on here but something is bothering me tonight, pretty much every night actually and need to say somethings. I live with my boyfriend, father of my 2 year old daughter. He is an alcoholic and has been since he was a teenager. He has 2 owi's, one of which is from a near fatal car ac...

Bargee · Bargee

On my way to my first Alanon meeting (which ended up a complete fail, there was no one there!!) I thrashed this song over and over again. It's how I feel.

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Yesterday my a/a daughter told me she was starting to school to get her GED, and asked me if I would take her, I told her to catch the bus, she said she didn't have any money for the bus and asked me if I would pay the fees to start, 15.00 or 25.00 dollars. I told her I would and to call me and let me know when she wa...

Country Boy · Country Boy

My father was an alcoholic. Never abused us kids, just drank, passed out & wasn't part of our lives because of this. He went into treatment & was sober for over 25 years before he passed. I had pretty much come to terms with all of this until I married an A. I have been with my AW for about 15 years, du...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi, I am doing some service for a small convention going around al anon groups promoting it and selling tickets. I did not want to go out to a meeting tonight I was tired and it was about an hours drive the meeting I wanted to visit. When I got there people welcomed me I really only see these members at conve...

hotrod · hotrod

HI MIP FAMILY I AM LEAVING FOR A 2 WEEK VACATION TO TURKEY AND WILL NOT HAVE INTERNET ACCESS DURING THAT TIME, I HAVE POSTED THA ALANON TRADITION 2 TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE PARTICIPATE THE TRADITONS DID HELP ME TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE WITH CO WORKERS AND FAMILY IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER. http://stepw...

Pushka · Pushka

Pretty much since the beginning of April life has been leading me around by the nose. This is the first weekend I have refocused myself and really made it about what kind of fun can be had in our little town. Yesterday, we spent about 2 hours in the late afternoon at the park. Had a great time, .. after th...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH came home after agreeing to "house rules"~I have made boundaries and stuck to them this time. I am totally able to detach at this point. As I start this remember Its been about five days now he's been home and sober. He is talking about buying a vacation place for our family he has wante...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My home internet service is down again for over a week and they don't expect it up and running until Monday. The joys of living on a little island, for another few weeks anyway. I went to look at that place on Tuesday and I have gone down 3 times to see this place, she finally let me in to see it and told me they...

pineapple · pineapple

I was feeling a little down today because tomorrow is my birthday. For the first time ever I doubt if my A will even remember, let alone do anything for me. I thought I'd spend the day doing something I really wanted to do for myself. But I couldn't think of anyhting that I wanted to do BY myself. My closest f...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I didn't grow up in an alcoholic family, but I might as well have. All the same traits were there. My folks were abusive and my mom probably has a personality disorder. Don't really talk to them anymore, but I had to call my mother yesterday to see if she had one of my old military records that I will need...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I have been in love with my Alcoholic "E" for going on 2 years. We are at the point where we both accept that we each need to be in recovery if we are to save this relationship. She has recently decided to go into in-patient rehab. I am sad, but I am supportive. Yesterday, after I had just adjusted...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I dont have expectations anymore so my dissapointments in AH are few. But one of his friends wives (suppose to be my friend) really dissapointed me ... talking crap on me ... oh well, guess I need my tools and detachments for more than just my AH. True friends are hard to find, crap stirring ppl are many a...

Jeng · Jeng

We were supposed to celebrate our 27th anniversary last night. Instead he had a beer or two after work and came home late. Then knowing that I wouldn't be happy because he promised me he'd stop drinking, he was in a bad mood. I have threatened to leave and I know it doesn't work, especially if you don't f...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had a pretty bad reaction to something AH said yesterday. Some background - he is almost 9 months sober, working a decent AA program (from what I can tell), and has a good sponsor. We're separated but he sees me and our son on weekends. I'm trying to be supportive in an arms-length way, but I am still fa...

katfshh · katfshh

About 12 ladies from my job are going on a cruise in Sept. We are in the middle of booking it. Everyone is welcome to go, but there is one woman that is just a nasty, angry, not nice person. I've always been nice to her, but honestly have no desire to share a room with her on a vacation. She is controlling and ju...

MyBrokenHeart · MyBrokenHeart

Long story short. I was married. She was a binge drinker. We had two kids. Nomatter how bad it got, I loved her with all my heart, and it got very bad. After the third or fourth ultimatum of "if you don't stop I'm leaving you," I actually filed for divorce. I wanted to give her the benefit of the d...

leogirl · leogirl

I am new here, but I am desperate for some guidance regarding the A in my life. I met this man literally a year and a half ago and he swept me off my feet, about 6 months into it I started suspecting he was an alcoholic, initially, I just thought he liked his wine. Needless to say, we fell for each other ha...

Lalu · Lalu

My boyfriend of 5 years has been in an in-patient treatment facility for 7 months now for addiciton and bipolar. The first six months were court ordered, he is now there on his own free will which I am greatful for. As part of their standard requirements, family members are required to attend Al-Annon...

Ariel · Ariel

My AB has started drinking again, daily. Today it was early enough for my kids to see it. I called the drinking buddy and asked if AB could stay w/him for the night. The drinking buddy then started berating me, telling me that I needed to come over and talk to him (the drinking buddy), because obviously th...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

I surprised myself last night and this morning. The husband was out drinking for a long time yesterday, and into the evening and night. I didn't cry. When he got home I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to him at all. This morning, when he was telling me how miserable and sorry he felt, I...

tired2012 · tired2012

I came across this web site and am in desperate hope that I can get something out of it, My husband, whom I have known for many years( and even married twice) has a alcohol problem, and has for many years, although it's not the every day type, no it's more when he is stressed, and feels like "letting it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Got my new bed yesterday! Could hardly wait! Now I really should get good night's sleep! Maybe it will make things easier in the future too. I am excited about anything that betters my life! Today is a good day! Going tomorrow w/ my ma to see a movie, lunch & some shopping! It is her 69th birhday tomorr...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I read this, and it is something I know I have to watch. My program of recovery is mine, and I can't force someone else into their own program of recovery. Loved it so much I wanted to share! "Once upon a time a woman came to Al-Anon to find out how to make her husband stop drinking. She was extremely wel...

angel86 · angel86

i love my boyfriend we both knew right away we were ment for each other he makes me so strong. But i drank with him alittle today i know i got intimidated when he wanted to drink and he said one beer and i didnt want to drink i have been in the program myself and worked real hard to change my soul heart and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I took him to court on Wednesday. The judge was extremely lenient with him. She gave him 3 days in jail and 11 days of home detention. He will be on probation for 3 years. He will have restricted driving priviliges for 60 days until the end of July at which point he will have the ignition interlock devi...

Audhead · Audhead

My AH has quit drinking for almost 3 years. In that time his behaviour has gone from bad to worse. I've been trying to analyze - somewhat to my own detriment - what is causing this. His sobriety is killing our marriage. He was once easygoing, fun, caring, inquisitive but has seen become abrasive, suspic...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi everyone, I'd be really interested to hear any experiences you have had with alcoholics in early sobriety and mood swings. My AH has been sober for 1 month. This is an amazing achievement and I am really really happy, proud and amazed that he has done it. He is going to addiction counselling twice p...

KLotus · KLotus

Last night I attended my 2nd face to face meeting this week. The topic was "taking risks." It was amazing to hear some of the wisdom from the speaker. To avoid taking (informed) risks is to live in one's fear. As some of you know, I am currently at a very significant and challenging crossr...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Been gone quite a while from this board. Coming up on Mother's Day was hard for me as I miss my mother a great deal, and her birthday follows it closely on June 11th. So I knew the day would be hard. Not made easier by my aunt (mom's sister), asking me on repeated occasions what I was planning on doing for mo...

BirdGirl · BirdGirl

Hi, new to this. I appreciate your patience. Living with an Alcoholic boyfriend of five years. I have stage IV breast cancer and am 42 years old. Right now I am cancer free. Found out today I need surgery within the next few weeks...major abdominal surgery. AB was there physically through every chemo a...

sookie · sookie

Ugh--last night I feel like 18 months of the program went out the window in many ways. My AH watches our kids so I can go to a meeting and we usually eat dinner together after and catch up. I think he was drunk when I got back and he also lied about something assinine immediately. The entire thing bubbled int...

sweeetr · sweeetr

You, your comments and this board have been so important in MY recovery. So many times I read a topic and can relate so well to it and the comments made are helpful to me as well as the person you are speaking too. I wish there was a "like" button .. because its all I can do not write .. OMG I never tho...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

My exABF moved back home today from his work where he has been for three months. we have talked here and there but have become much more distant as of recently. Since he's home he wants to see me to talk about things. But I feel different now, at least I think I do. I feel like when he's not in my life I miss him,...

Tegan · Tegan

Hi, Im Tegan. This is my first time here. Not sure where to start.....my husband drinks every night. Usually 8-12 beers. He goes out and I worry about him because I know he will be drinking. I have begged him not to! A few weeks ago he wrecked his car because he was drunk. Luckily no one was hurt, he hit a tree...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I feel as if I am floating on a cloud. Thought I would share how amazing meditation, recovery, and a life of sobriety is. About to go for a very long walk with my al-anon friend to our home group.. hope everyone is having a wonderful evening!!

sookie · sookie

I gotta tell you--this board has been an essential part of my recovery. I love being able to go back and READ what we wrote to better understand our path. I can see when I am beginning to slip

and not work the program--and that has been where I see myself lately. I especially noticed lately my focus has t...

sookie · sookie

I think a HUGE part of the problem in communicating with my separated AH is that we do not really understand each other's expectations. He talks about trying to make it work again and his lease is up in 3 months. I feel like I need to decide...it will have been a year of him living in an apartment. We have ke...

Pushka · Pushka

This is a saying that I love .. it speaks volumes to me. Regarding A's as well as to me .. say what you mean, mean what you say and then follow through. Pink brought up an interesting point in an earlier post about A's saying things and not following through I'm paraphrasing. Soooooo true ... yesterday...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody, Tomorrow is my restraining order court hearing, I think I'm handling things pretty well but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The ex RA will be there and fighting for his side of things. He's broken the stay away order [ hence going for the restraining ] but since he hasn't LITERALLY...

bigsis72 · bigsis72

Hi all, Ive stumbled upon this site and thought i would post. My name is Lisa and i live in the uk. My sister is suffering from depression ( postnatel i think) and has been drinking heavily for a few months now and its causing total devastation. She lives with her partner of 12 yrs and they have 2 children,...

Bargee · Bargee

I really do think I'm leaving my AH. I don't think I can take this anymore. Everything is being made to feel like it's my fault and everything about our relationship has changed. He went on another bender last night. Was meant to be looking after our daughter. He stopped drinking for a while while h...

katfshh · katfshh

I'm leaving in about 5 minutes to see AF. He needs some clothes, and I have a meeting at work this afternoon. The place he is at is near my work. It's a recovery home for men that has been running strong on a volunteer basis only for about 60 years. It's a good place for him, they can only stay 10 days there to ge...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I didn't break! (Preview) For the first time my RBF and I had some "things" to talk about. And generally I struggle with feedback as my co dependent reaction is a mix of "OMG I'm flawed, it's fatal" which can lead to bad reactions. I did something that was a good boundary. Because I'm learning that there i...	AStrongerMe	2	507	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	people in the program (Preview) Has anyone had issues of being in alanon with someone who you just cannot stand being around? There is a lady who has been coming for many years and she seems to have all of the answers and is very judgmental of me when I ask her questions. I feel looked down upon. We only have few little meetings around h...	willowtree	8	584	May 23, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Need ESH re: helping daughter! (Preview) I shared on this yersterday, my daughter asked for help in getting into a GED program and she did'nt follow through. Today she called, nothing about yestrrday. I spoke to my sponsor and she asked if I hadn't helped her enough already, gave her a car, she lost it to impound, gave her a place to stay for ov...	Highlyfavored	5	977	May 23, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Trust (Preview) Hello, I have made a few posts on here and am trying to make a habit of opening up what's going on with me so I deal with it in a healthy way and not let it sit and fester in me. I really like this website and the amazing support on here for everyone. I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and my 2 year old daughter. I h...	LeahC	7	642	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	my mom & I survived! (Preview) I am so glad that my mom & I not only survived our trip on Saturday but we also didn't have to go to court yesterday(Monday) except me had to meet w/ the prosecuting attorney because she pleaded guilty to inattentive driving--she was under the influence of hydrocodone. It was a mess but now my mom is b...	Hoot Nanny	2	345	May 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	Thoughts of contacting estranged AH (Preview) It's been 3 months since I last saw my AH, 2 months since we agreed to file for divorce and had any sort of email exchange about anything except the divorce stuff. I have been doing really well, minding my own business and going after my goals. Lately I've been thinking about my AH. Not in a needy way. I f...	Dolly Llama	17	773	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Not powerless (Preview) over the process and am powerless over the outcome. Aloha all. Been doing lots of face to face work with my higher power with alot more listening (with an open mind) and memory work on the process. The program is mine to work...that's the process...my responsiblility and choice on how I do it. I com...	Jerry F	9	777	May 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I guess today... (Preview) I am thinking about me. Not how sad it is he is a miserable mess dying ever so slowly from his disease. How it took everything from me. It's not so much the material stuff, as that is not important to me. I only want/need the basics. Good quality ones. Was thinking how I am struggling so hard financially. Th...	Debilyn	11	1003	May 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	My daughter (Preview) Hello, Posted a couple times on here, recently was last night. I have something more on my mind now. To those who aren't familiar with me, I live with my alcoholic boyfriend and our 2 year old daughter. His drinking is out of control lately. Drinking every day and then getting in the car to drive which I p...	LeahC	4	707	May 22, 2012 by LeahC
	Why? Because s/he's an alcoholic. (Preview) This has been on my heart and mind lately and hope it will help someone else. It helped me. When my mind starts spinning with the why's and why not's...I answer myself, "Because he's an alcoholic." Four little words that I struggle to accept or understand at times, but all the truth I need....	Dolly Llama	5	536	May 22, 2012 by sookie
	Another Vote for taking care of yourself (Preview) I guess I consider myself lucky, blessed, what have you. I met someone recovering from alcoholism but after I'd gotten pretty far into my own recovery from another bad relationship. Not alcoholic but might as well have been. I'm just no longer willing to lose me. I guess after you lose yourself for...	AStrongerMe	6	610	May 22, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Off topic: Need to vent about AH (Preview) I am trying VERY hard to mind my own business, keep my mouth shut, and I am avoiding confrontation with him right now. He seems very depressed after the sentencing last week and I already know he's been shopping for guns online. Not sure why yet, but he's always been the type of guy to say, "The bes...	ilovedogs	8	657	May 22, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Need suggestions (Preview) OK....the back story, my AH has been a drinker for 50 years, at a rate of 2 liters every 3 days. He drinks from 9-12PM. He says it is pain management for his back. He is 70, and over the last year has lost the muscle tone in his legs and can hardly stand, will not try to walk and stays in bed 24/7. In looking a...	srtiels	12	2912	May 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	baby steps and recognizing my part in it all (Preview) In the past several days I've recognized some real changes in myself in how I react to others. They are baby steps but boy does it feel good. My H does things that I don't like - I used to interject myself into those things and situations and get embroiled in them. Thanks to this program I'm finding I do t...	amills4294	3	464	May 22, 2012 by Jackie11
	Feeling really angry (Preview) This is a really long post, so I understand if you don't want to read it. As some of you may know I'm at my wits end with my AH and the way he has been treating me. At the moment I really cannot stand him. So...anyway we wake up this morning and the first thing he wants is sex!! We have hardly even spoken civill...	Bargee	11	850	May 22, 2012 by Pushka
	My husband refuses to quite smoking weed... (Preview) Hi All - I'm not sure if I'm writing in correct place, but I am struggling with family issues now and needed some advice. My husband has been smoking weed for about 10 years now - maybe past 2-4 years it's been very heavy - every day, a couple times a day (before work, sometimes during work, after work and...	lunakat82	5	1333	May 22, 2012 by BRAlanon
	Scared (Preview) Hello, I have only made 1 post on here but something is bothering me tonight, pretty much every night actually and need to say somethings. I live with my boyfriend, father of my 2 year old daughter. He is an alcoholic and has been since he was a teenager. He has 2 owi's, one of which is from a near fatal car ac...	LeahC	5	606	May 22, 2012 by Bargee
	Pink - Walk Away (Preview) On my way to my first Alanon meeting (which ended up a complete fail, there was no one there!!) I thrashed this song over and over again. It's how I feel.	Bargee	8	3545	May 22, 2012 by Bargee
	Making progress! I think! (Preview) Yesterday my a/a daughter told me she was starting to school to get her GED, and asked me if I would take her, I told her to catch the bus, she said she didn't have any money for the bus and asked me if I would pay the fees to start, 15.00 or 25.00 dollars. I told her I would and to call me and let me know when she wa...	Highlyfavored	4	485	May 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	My story (Preview) My father was an alcoholic. Never abused us kids, just drank, passed out & wasn't part of our lives because of this. He went into treatment & was sober for over 25 years before he passed. I had pretty much come to terms with all of this until I married an A. I have been with my AW for about 15 years, du...	Country Boy	8	712	May 22, 2012 by david62
	rewards (Preview) Hi, I am doing some service for a small convention going around al anon groups promoting it and selling tickets. I did not want to go out to a meeting tonight I was tired and it was about an hours drive the meeting I wanted to visit. When I got there people welcomed me I really only see these members at conve...	Tracy	2	484	May 22, 2012 by Tigger
	TRADITION 2 (Preview) HI MIP FAMILY I AM LEAVING FOR A 2 WEEK VACATION TO TURKEY AND WILL NOT HAVE INTERNET ACCESS DURING THAT TIME, I HAVE POSTED THA ALANON TRADITION 2 TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE PARTICIPATE THE TRADITONS DID HELP ME TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE WITH CO WORKERS AND FAMILY IN A CONSTRUCTIVE MANNER. http://stepw...	hotrod	0	384	May 21, 2012 by hotrod
	Life On Life's Terms :) (Preview) Pretty much since the beginning of April life has been leading me around by the nose. This is the first weekend I have refocused myself and really made it about what kind of fun can be had in our little town. Yesterday, we spent about 2 hours in the late afternoon at the park. Had a great time, .. after th...	Pushka	11	805	May 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	i sit back and think, my life is quit "interesting" at times (Preview) My AH came home after agreeing to "house rules"~I have made boundaries and stuck to them this time. I am totally able to detach at this point. As I start this remember Its been about five days now he's been home and sober. He is talking about buying a vacation place for our family he has wante...	sweeetr	2	385	May 21, 2012 by sweeetr
	Sorry I have been absent for a week ~Update~ (Preview) My home internet service is down again for over a week and they don't expect it up and running until Monday. The joys of living on a little island, for another few weeks anyway. I went to look at that place on Tuesday and I have gone down 3 times to see this place, she finally let me in to see it and told me they...	Breakingfree	5	658	May 21, 2012 by surfgirl123
	HP came through again (Preview) I was feeling a little down today because tomorrow is my birthday. For the first time ever I doubt if my A will even remember, let alone do anything for me. I thought I'd spend the day doing something I really wanted to do for myself. But I couldn't think of anyhting that I wanted to do BY myself. My closest f...	pineapple	9	633	May 21, 2012 by Oksie
	Lack of Direct Communication (Preview) I didn't grow up in an alcoholic family, but I might as well have. All the same traits were there. My folks were abusive and my mom probably has a personality disorder. Don't really talk to them anymore, but I had to call my mother yesterday to see if she had one of my old military records that I will need...	Dolly Llama	6	481	May 20, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Struggling with fears / abandonment issues (Preview) I have been in love with my Alcoholic "E" for going on 2 years. We are at the point where we both accept that we each need to be in recovery if we are to save this relationship. She has recently decided to go into in-patient rehab. I am sad, but I am supportive. Yesterday, after I had just adjusted...	littlehawk	6	994	May 20, 2012 by littlehawk
	use to dissapointment but... (Preview) I dont have expectations anymore so my dissapointments in AH are few. But one of his friends wives (suppose to be my friend) really dissapointed me ... talking crap on me ... oh well, guess I need my tools and detachments for more than just my AH. True friends are hard to find, crap stirring ppl are many a...	sweeetr	2	455	May 20, 2012 by hotrod
	Help for a newcomer (Preview) We were supposed to celebrate our 27th anniversary last night. Instead he had a beer or two after work and came home late. Then knowing that I wouldn't be happy because he promised me he'd stop drinking, he was in a bad mood. I have threatened to leave and I know it doesn't work, especially if you don't f...	Jeng	6	719	May 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	I need to vent (Preview) I had a pretty bad reaction to something AH said yesterday. Some background - he is almost 9 months sober, working a decent AA program (from what I can tell), and has a good sponsor. We're separated but he sees me and our son on weekends. I'm trying to be supportive in an arms-length way, but I am still fa...	nyc018	4	583	May 20, 2012 by pineapple
	Not nice people and how to deal with them? (Preview) About 12 ladies from my job are going on a cruise in Sept. We are in the middle of booking it. Everyone is welcome to go, but there is one woman that is just a nasty, angry, not nice person. I've always been nice to her, but honestly have no desire to share a room with her on a vacation. She is controlling and ju...	katfshh	8	634	May 20, 2012 by katfshh
	I'm pretty sure that my 10 year relationship with the woman I love is over. (Preview) Long story short. I was married. She was a binge drinker. We had two kids. Nomatter how bad it got, I loved her with all my heart, and it got very bad. After the third or fourth ultimatum of "if you don't stop I'm leaving you," I actually filed for divorce. I wanted to give her the benefit of the d...	MyBrokenHeart	12	648	May 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Have I lost my mind???? (Preview) I am new here, but I am desperate for some guidance regarding the A in my life. I met this man literally a year and a half ago and he swept me off my feet, about 6 months into it I started suspecting he was an alcoholic, initially, I just thought he liked his wine. Needless to say, we fell for each other ha...	leogirl	5	647	May 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Forced to get Al-Annon sponsor... thoughts? (Preview) My boyfriend of 5 years has been in an in-patient treatment facility for 7 months now for addiciton and bipolar. The first six months were court ordered, he is now there on his own free will which I am greatful for. As part of their standard requirements, family members are required to attend Al-Annon...	Lalu	11	900	May 19, 2012 by nmike
	Called Police (Preview) My AB has started drinking again, daily. Today it was early enough for my kids to see it. I called the drinking buddy and asked if AB could stay w/him for the night. The drinking buddy then started berating me, telling me that I needed to come over and talk to him (the drinking buddy), because obviously th...	Ariel	9	763	May 19, 2012 by LeahC
	I surprised myself! (Preview) I surprised myself last night and this morning. The husband was out drinking for a long time yesterday, and into the evening and night. I didn't cry. When he got home I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to him at all. This morning, when he was telling me how miserable and sorry he felt, I...	ladysoblue	8	570	May 19, 2012 by Pushka
	New to Al-anon (Preview) I came across this web site and am in desperate hope that I can get something out of it, My husband, whom I have known for many years( and even married twice) has a alcohol problem, and has for many years, although it's not the every day type, no it's more when he is stressed, and feels like "letting it...	tired2012	5	536	May 19, 2012 by Pushka
	Just me; real simple! (Preview) Got my new bed yesterday! Could hardly wait! Now I really should get good night's sleep! Maybe it will make things easier in the future too. I am excited about anything that betters my life! Today is a good day! Going tomorrow w/ my ma to see a movie, lunch & some shopping! It is her 69th birhday tomorr...	Hoot Nanny	0	338	May 18, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	ODAT May 18 (Preview) I read this, and it is something I know I have to watch. My program of recovery is mine, and I can't force someone else into their own program of recovery. Loved it so much I wanted to share! "Once upon a time a woman came to Al-Anon to find out how to make her husband stop drinking. She was extremely wel...	Jackie11	5	698	May 19, 2012 by Michelle814
	I drank with my aloholic boyfriend (Preview) i love my boyfriend we both knew right away we were ment for each other he makes me so strong. But i drank with him alittle today i know i got intimidated when he wanted to drink and he said one beer and i didnt want to drink i have been in the program myself and worked real hard to change my soul heart and...	angel86	4	689	May 19, 2012 by Debilyn
	AH was sentenced on Wednesday (Preview) I took him to court on Wednesday. The judge was extremely lenient with him. She gave him 3 days in jail and 11 days of home detention. He will be on probation for 3 years. He will have restricted driving priviliges for 60 days until the end of July at which point he will have the ignition interlock devi...	ilovedogs	10	824	May 19, 2012 by Debilyn
	Sobriety Behaviour (Preview) My AH has quit drinking for almost 3 years. In that time his behaviour has gone from bad to worse. I've been trying to analyze - somewhat to my own detriment - what is causing this. His sobriety is killing our marriage. He was once easygoing, fun, caring, inquisitive but has seen become abrasive, suspic...	Audhead	8	767	May 18, 2012 by Audhead
	Mood swings in the newly sober alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, I'd be really interested to hear any experiences you have had with alcoholics in early sobriety and mood swings. My AH has been sober for 1 month. This is an amazing achievement and I am really really happy, proud and amazed that he has done it. He is going to addiction counselling twice p...	sarah1979	7	3898	May 18, 2012 by sarah1979
	Taking Risks (Preview) Last night I attended my 2nd face to face meeting this week. The topic was "taking risks." It was amazing to hear some of the wisdom from the speaker. To avoid taking (informed) risks is to live in one's fear. As some of you know, I am currently at a very significant and challenging crossr...	KLotus	10	960	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	An unexpected reaction (Preview) Been gone quite a while from this board. Coming up on Mother's Day was hard for me as I miss my mother a great deal, and her birthday follows it closely on June 11th. So I knew the day would be hard. Not made easier by my aunt (mom's sister), asking me on repeated occasions what I was planning on doing for mo...	scholarlydragon	2	535	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Help (Preview) Hi, new to this. I appreciate your patience. Living with an Alcoholic boyfriend of five years. I have stage IV breast cancer and am 42 years old. Right now I am cancer free. Found out today I need surgery within the next few weeks...major abdominal surgery. AB was there physically through every chemo a...	BirdGirl	6	529	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	I let him steal by peace! (Preview) Ugh--last night I feel like 18 months of the program went out the window in many ways. My AH watches our kids so I can go to a meeting and we usually eat dinner together after and catch up. I think he was drunk when I got back and he also lied about something assinine immediately. The entire thing bubbled int...	sookie	2	533	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thanks (Preview) You, your comments and this board have been so important in MY recovery. So many times I read a topic and can relate so well to it and the comments made are helpful to me as well as the person you are speaking too. I wish there was a "like" button .. because its all I can do not write .. OMG I never tho...	sweeetr	2	347	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	How do I know if I've already given up? (Preview) My exABF moved back home today from his work where he has been for three months. we have talked here and there but have become much more distant as of recently. Since he's home he wants to see me to talk about things. But I feel different now, at least I think I do. I feel like when he's not in my life I miss him,...	Corgi2	2	538	May 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	at a loss! (Preview) Hi, Im Tegan. This is my first time here. Not sure where to start.....my husband drinks every night. Usually 8-12 beers. He goes out and I worry about him because I know he will be drinking. I have begged him not to! A few weeks ago he wrecked his car because he was drunk. Luckily no one was hurt, he hit a tree...	Tegan	6	741	May 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	Love (Preview) I feel as if I am floating on a cloud. Thought I would share how amazing meditation, recovery, and a life of sobriety is. About to go for a very long walk with my al-anon friend to our home group.. hope everyone is having a wonderful evening!!	Michelle814	7	620	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	noticing my own 'slips' (Preview) I gotta tell you--this board has been an essential part of my recovery. I love being able to go back and READ what we wrote to better understand our path. I can see when I am beginning to slip and not work the program--and that has been where I see myself lately. I especially noticed lately my focus has t...	sookie	4	462	May 18, 2012 by ladysoblue
	Reasonable request or asking too much? (Preview) I think a HUGE part of the problem in communicating with my separated AH is that we do not really understand each other's expectations. He talks about trying to make it work again and his lease is up in 3 months. I feel like I need to decide...it will have been a year of him living in an apartment. We have ke...	sookie	9	611	May 18, 2012 by dragonflys
	Suiting up and Showing up (Preview) This is a saying that I love .. it speaks volumes to me. Regarding A's as well as to me .. say what you mean, mean what you say and then follow through. Pink brought up an interesting point in an earlier post about A's saying things and not following through I'm paraphrasing. Soooooo true ... yesterday...	Pushka	7	751	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Restraining order court hearing tomorrow (Preview) Hi everybody, Tomorrow is my restraining order court hearing, I think I'm handling things pretty well but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The ex RA will be there and fighting for his side of things. He's broken the stay away order [ hence going for the restraining ] but since he hasn't LITERALLY...	rara avis	6	534	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Newbie. Help! (Preview) Hi all, Ive stumbled upon this site and thought i would post. My name is Lisa and i live in the uk. My sister is suffering from depression ( postnatel i think) and has been drinking heavily for a few months now and its causing total devastation. She lives with her partner of 12 yrs and they have 2 children,...	bigsis72	5	666	May 18, 2012 by BuzzBuzz
	I think I'm leaving (Preview) I really do think I'm leaving my AH. I don't think I can take this anymore. Everything is being made to feel like it's my fault and everything about our relationship has changed. He went on another bender last night. Was meant to be looking after our daughter. He stopped drinking for a while while h...	Bargee	22	687	May 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Going to see him now (Preview) I'm leaving in about 5 minutes to see AF. He needs some clothes, and I have a meeting at work this afternoon. The place he is at is near my work. It's a recovery home for men that has been running strong on a volunteer basis only for about 60 years. It's a good place for him, they can only stay 10 days there to ge...	katfshh	11	578	May 18, 2012 by Bargee
	Anger Management anger gratitude (Preview) I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...	Green Eyes	2	7376	May 18, 2012 by Oksie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.