Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pinhook84 · Pinhook84

I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...

bdl978 · bdl978

Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...

Althecat · Althecat

I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...

rehprof · rehprof

hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...

Bargee · Bargee

So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...

tweety23 · tweety23

My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...

pressley27 · pressley27

I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...

kissers · kissers

I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...

Bettina · Bettina

Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...

living for me · living for me

I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...

Tracey C · Tracey C

My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I spent Mother's Day w/ my mom at a Brunch in our town. The thing is I lost my step-mom last October. So, they have these ribbons at the brunch. I noticed that the red ones are for if your mom is still alive & the white ones are for if your mom passed away. I only took the red one. I thought about it...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Both the managers that interviewed me said they were excited to bring me on board. The first place I applied at and wanted to work. I am feeling so good and on Tuesday I have to go into the city again to look at the apartment, my 3rd attempt since the people were supposed to be out May 1st and now they suppose...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm looking at this step question at the moment and would. welcome practical ways you guys put this into practice: "How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them?" I know I can start to see that others deserve the right to find their own solutions. I can show others the f...

BuzzBuzz · BuzzBuzz

Hi there. I'm new to Al-Anon. I have gone to 5 F2F meetings in the last 2 weeks. I'm in a very very tough situation and am having trouble seeing the light. My partner has been in AA for 18 months. She told me in February she doesn't want a relationship anymore. This has completely devastated me. I moved to En...

Fina · Fina

Okay, I'm hoping to help with meetings in the Family Teen site here, but the meeting schedule is all over the place. The young woman who is facilitating the meetings, Dani, told me they are on Monday and Friday at 9 pm Eastern. The bulliten board says Tuesdays and I forget, both at 8 pm Eastern. And . . ....

Jozie · Jozie

Ok... So How is it I Can be So Frickin Excited about something and Yet have this Guilt that is Suckin the Life out of me... If this Don't pass by Friday I may just go Bonkers...lol... Last Night, We had a Meeting on "Expectations, & How we Carry Ourselves as Adults, when it comes to Our "Atti...

katfshh · katfshh

Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.

callmemara · callmemara

I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...

debhud · debhud

yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...

Fina · Fina

Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...

hotrod · hotrod

I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...

pineapple · pineapple

If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...

sookie · sookie

I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the *children's medicine* in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...

sweeetr · sweeetr

What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer

Fina · Fina

Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Austr...

Daisy Girl · Daisy Girl

Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...

Aloha · Aloha

This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen

sweeetr · sweeetr

After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...

Tigger · Tigger

I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...

Kicks611 · Kicks611

I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...

Brooke · Brooke

My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...

sookie · sookie

Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...

katfshh · katfshh

AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...

amills4294 · amills4294

Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detox with no insurance detox (Preview) I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...	Pinhook84	8	5300	May 17, 2012 by callmemara
	Family planing with a newly recovering addict... (Preview) Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...	bdl978	15	736	May 16, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dating a recovering alcoholic and sex addict. I have some questions. (Preview) I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...	Althecat	10	1131	May 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying to keep swimming (Preview) hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...	rehprof	6	472	May 16, 2012 by rehprof
	I will not ring him!!!! (Preview) So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...	Bargee	6	554	May 16, 2012 by Bargee
	holy mackerel! (Preview) I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...	Hoot Nanny	3	396	May 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Huge fight/now what? (Preview) I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...	ilovedogs	9	673	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Could this be a trigger (dining together) (Preview) My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...	tweety23	8	586	May 16, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Hello Again Friends (Preview) Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...	GypsyRose71	6	475	May 16, 2012 by Pushka
	So exhausting (Preview) I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...	sweeetr	4	321	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Update - How do you know when change is real? (Preview) Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...	surfgirl123	13	576	May 15, 2012 by sookie
	to go or to stay (Preview) I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...	pressley27	5	497	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Need someone's experience or insight (Preview) I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...	kissers	11	591	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Dementia /Alanon works for that too!! (Preview) Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...	Bettina	6	2446	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Expectations (Preview) Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...	stephaniej	8	738	May 15, 2012 by maryjane
	What would you do??? (Preview) I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...	living for me	6	533	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Mothers Day Lunch - vent (Preview) My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...	Tracey C	7	576	May 15, 2012 by Tracey C
	What are the options?? (Preview) I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...	dragonflys	10	505	May 15, 2012 by Pushka
	Mother's Day (Preview) Yesterday I spent Mother's Day w/ my mom at a Brunch in our town. The thing is I lost my step-mom last October. So, they have these ribbons at the brunch. I noticed that the red ones are for if your mom is still alive & the white ones are for if your mom passed away. I only took the red one. I thought about it...	Hoot Nanny	0	263	May 14, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	I got the job!!!!!! (Preview) Both the managers that interviewed me said they were excited to bring me on board. The first place I applied at and wanted to work. I am feeling so good and on Tuesday I have to go into the city again to look at the apartment, my 3rd attempt since the people were supposed to be out May 1st and now they suppose...	Breakingfree	19	636	May 15, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Other people's problems (Preview) I'm looking at this step question at the moment and would. welcome practical ways you guys put this into practice: "How can I let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them?" I know I can start to see that others deserve the right to find their own solutions. I can show others the f...	Tigger	12	554	May 14, 2012 by Tigger
	Having a very bad day (Preview) Hi there. I'm new to Al-Anon. I have gone to 5 F2F meetings in the last 2 weeks. I'm in a very very tough situation and am having trouble seeing the light. My partner has been in AA for 18 months. She told me in February she doesn't want a relationship anymore. This has completely devastated me. I moved to En...	BuzzBuzz	5	674	May 14, 2012 by BuzzBuzz
	Alateen Meetings (Preview) Okay, I'm hoping to help with meetings in the Family Teen site here, but the meeting schedule is all over the place. The young woman who is facilitating the meetings, Dani, told me they are on Monday and Friday at 9 pm Eastern. The bulliten board says Tuesdays and I forget, both at 8 pm Eastern. And . . ....	Fina	0	349	May 14, 2012 by Fina
	Excitement & Guilt.... WHY??? (Preview) Ok... So How is it I Can be So Frickin Excited about something and Yet have this Guilt that is Suckin the Life out of me... If this Don't pass by Friday I may just go Bonkers...lol... Last Night, We had a Meeting on "Expectations, & How we Carry Ourselves as Adults, when it comes to Our "Atti...	Jozie	7	514	May 14, 2012 by Jozie
	I see progress! (Preview) Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous. Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran...	katfshh	7	517	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	Anxious! (Preview) AH has been gone all weekend. So nice and peaceful. He is on his way home and the anxiety is starting to creep back in. Praying for serenity while repeating, the three C's.	Daisy Girl	3	353	May 14, 2012 by ladysoblue
	When his actions affect me. (Preview) I guess I really don't have a question behind this post.... We are being dropped by our auto insurance of over 6 years (Geico) because of his driving record. He has had multiple tickets in the past year for speeding, seat belt, traffic signal violates. Suspended license for not taking a drive safely cl...	callmemara	8	638	May 14, 2012 by Pushka
	mothers day fight. (Preview) yesterday our extended family celebrated mothers day at my moms. loud fight between AS and bipolar daughter. my mother was yelling at me to "do something about her!" (AS was involved in this conversation) i said to my mother, "i cannot fix her mental illness any more than i can fix...	debhud	1	386	May 14, 2012 by Jerry F
	Need advice on dealing with bitterness. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Jim. I have been going to Al-Anon for about 2 years now and have noticed a huge difference in my life. I never feel more at peace with myself when I can share at a meeting and not be judged for my past behaviour. One issue has come up with me recently that I would like some sharing on. The...	slogan_jim	12	762	May 14, 2012 by likemyheart
	Three cheers for Friday after work...!!! (Preview) So... here we are at Friday afternoon again - a very typical one where it's mid-afternoon, and I haven't heard anything from the AH. Last night we discussed what his schedule would be like today, but today it's not yet resembling what we had talked about. Gee, surprise surprise. The familiar feeling o...	ladysoblue	3	392	May 14, 2012 by Bargee
	5/13 Sunday Evening Meeting 7 pm Eastern on EXPECTATIONS (Preview) Expectations: From: Courage to Change. One Day at a Time in Al-Anon IIAl-Anon Family Groups Inc. Page 2.Turning to an alcoholic for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. Perhaps we expect a "good" parent to nurture and support our feelings, or a "lo...	Fina	0	305	May 14, 2012 by Fina
	Answering Linda's letter on acoa site on abandonment (Preview) Hi Linda, What you have described is no. 4 of the Laundry list. We either become alcoholics, marry them or both - or find another compulsive personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our sick abandonment needs. It goes on to read; If we make a careful survey of those close to us, family and non-fami...	Tracey C	2	407	May 14, 2012 by Oksie
	Happy Mothers Day (Preview) to all the mother here who have ever loved and cared for children whether their own or those of others like myself. I am always grateful beyond words to the women of early Al-Anon who took me into their hearts and care and were patient as I stumbled on flat ground and walk into walls in bright light becau...	Jerry F	3	356	May 14, 2012 by glad lee
	Will the relapses ever end?????? His family involved now! This is too much! (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I come on here constantly getting the best support I can possibly find on here and I attempt to go to meetings even though I work 2 jobs and can never make the timing. But I seek out the truth and I still choose to be stubborn and nieve and indenial. Sometimes I would rather my...	Julie3310	15	491	May 14, 2012 by Julie3310
	12 Traditions (Preview) I will be out of town for a few days and have postied the 1st Tradition to the Step Work Board. A study of these traditions helped me to learn how to work in groups in and outside the rooms. Please join us and share the journey Tradition 1 alanon (Preview/Moderate) 12 TraditionsOne Day at a Time in Al...	hotrod	1	382	May 14, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Maintaining serenity (Preview) One of the things I'm really focusing on in my recovery is in trying to not take things personally and keeping control of my emotions, but also maintaining my serenity and sanity at the same time. I got the perfect chance today. My AH, son, and I were sitting outside a grocery store waiting to get burge...	ilovedogs	15	742	May 13, 2012 by Mattie
	Happy Mother's Day! (Preview) If I'm not mistaken, today is Mother's Day in the U.S. (Mother's Day was on Thursday here in Guatemala.) I know that holidays can sometimes be especially tough for those who love and/or live with A's. But I hope this day is a happy, peaceful one for all of you. (That includes non-mothers ,too.) Best wish...	pineapple	2	318	May 13, 2012 by Pushka
	AH raiding medicine cabinet now? (Preview) I am a little perplexed today as I suspect my husband has actually chugged down the children's medicine in the house--Musinex and children's allergy meds. I know because they were expensive ~$10 each (I have the only income for the household) and I was disappointed that my daughter only took one do...	sookie	5	430	May 13, 2012 by sookie
	Ugh (Preview) What an ass!!!!! Feeling sorry for himself and trying to control where I play game instead of on my phone it should be on computer	sweeetr	0	268	May 13, 2012 by sweeetr
	WORRY (Preview) *Recovery Meditations ~ Worry ~ One Day at a Time ~ May 12, 2012:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. Recovery MeditationsOne Day at a TimeMay 12, 2012~ WORRY ~:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already* tomorrow in Austr...	Fina	2	392	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie, just getting started (Preview) Hi everyone! New to the boards. I have been around this week reading and soaking it all in, bouncing back and forth between this board and Adult Children board. Working on Step 1. For as long as I can remember I have tried to control. I felt such relief today, talking to myself, "I can't control that...	Daisy Girl	3	384	May 13, 2012 by pineapple
	May 11th's Courage to Change (Preview) This is such a great read. I'm glad I opened it (I have it tucked away in my desk at work). For me it gets down to the heart of the matter - the biggest challenge I have with my own "dis-ease" is one of looking outside of myself to find gratification. Usually, the perceived Golden Ticket I've alwa...	Aloha	4	680	May 13, 2012 by Tigger
	Hats Like Bruno, Moves Like Jagger (Preview) We are attending the annual MCYPAA in Halifax, Nova Scotia. thats the Maritime Conference of Young People in AA. Al-Anon and Alateen are there in full force. Fortunately its not only for young people but its also for the young at heart. I'll be 56 this month but I still got hats like Bruno and moves like J...	Wolfie55	3	287	May 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Giving it to HP (Preview) It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing. I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling...	Pushka	7	450	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	The New Codependency (Preview) I am not normally good about reading other than magazines and things I must because of work. However, the book The New CoDependecy has really hit home, helping me with my life struggles. My friends and family make comments to me on when you get enough you'll leave. They dont understand,under these ad...	sweeetr	9	2833	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	Wasn't Expecting What Therapist Said (Preview) Follow up on seeing my husbands counselor this morning. Wow. Wasn't expecting this. She thinks he is bi-polar and needs to get evaluated and on medication. She says that even with medication bi-polar invidivuals are very difficult to live with, at best, and that they never truly stop cycling it just...	surfgirl123	8	684	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Its Me!!! (Preview) I have been meditating alot lately. I love it. I start out stressed, but I shut up and listen. I slowly relax, my fingers tingle, my body becomes light as a feather.. and there in my silence, I am healed. I was screaming, yesterday, in my head yesterday, while deep in meditation: "Why does life ha...	Michelle814	6	487	May 12, 2012 by Michelle814
	HLT not a misspelling (Preview) I may be hungry and tired often, lonely rarely but I am all three right this moment. Before I go off to eat, phone a friend and get some sleep ... I want to express some gratitude for not being angry. It has been a long time since I could say I am not angry in some way, shape or form. Thanks everybody. Jen	Jennifer	10	570	May 12, 2012 by Fina
	Just when you are prepared (Preview) After last night when I didn't handle myself well with detachment and trying to control over when I knew he had been drinking way more than is under control.. I spend the day reading and being on here preparing myself for what might come. I have to say we as a family had a wonderful night. No alcohol invol...	sweeetr	2	502	May 12, 2012 by Tracey C
	Post Rehab Story (Preview) Hi everybody! I have been dealing with a husband who went through an extremely rough detox in mid March and went to an inpatient rehab program for a good part of April. He has been home for about 3 weeks now. I have tried to pop in here enough to read and keep my hopes grounded in reality but not stick around t...	WornOutMrsFixIt	8	560	May 12, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Faking it to make it (Preview) I'm faking it to make it...right here, right now as I sit here writing this on my iphone! I look very detached and unengaged don't I...lol. I even look like I've got my own life to focus on and am focused on my own actibvities. I'm keeping a good healthy boundary of calm protection around me. Not focusing o...	Tigger	13	618	May 12, 2012 by Jennifer
	Please help - Father is a severe alcoholic, close to death (Preview) I am posting because I am absolutely beside myself in terms of what I should or can be doing, if anything, to help my father. I know this message/thread is kind of long - but if you have any time at all to read or reply, i'd appreciate more than you could possibly know. Ive posted here before and told my sto...	Kicks611	10	688	May 12, 2012 by Debilyn
	Everything is going to be alright (Preview) The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true. He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust th...	usedtobeanyer	6	603	May 12, 2012 by Jerry F
	I was gonna blog but I didn't want to talk to myself LOL (Preview) So...today has been an OK day..I actually put Step 1 into practice last night before I went to bed and this morning I got the opportunity to use it again. I felt so much freer because I was able to do that. Then I realized something. In using Step 1, I am making myself vulnerable. Well, sort of anyway. I mea...	seekingserenity	1	316	May 11, 2012 by Oksie
	Hurting again (Preview) Seems I do good for awhile and then I sink back into the grief and pain. I am really struggling with my own reality tonight .. missing the addict again .. guess that's part of recovery .. this too shall pass .. the sadness and hurt but it does hurt .. the idea of him with someone new .. this new life .. our daug...	MeTwo2	10	511	May 11, 2012 by MeTwo2
	He threatened divorce, I dont know what to do next... (Preview) My husband said he wants a divorce 2 nights ago, out of his frustration with me and what hes had to put up with the last 22 years, and because he cant see it will change.He told me to take our 4yr old son and leave for the night.I did just that - but I also took our 12yr old son - there was no way I wasnt going to leav...	Brooke	18	750	May 11, 2012 by sweeetr
	Drama! Drama! (Preview) Yesterday,I allowed myself to get involved in the drama at my a/a's daughters house. But, only for a moment, thank God for sponsors. My sponsor pointed out she is using everything she knows to push my buttons. She suggested to not even listen to what is going on at her house and to say to whoever is bri...	Highlyfavored	5	423	May 11, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	Changed attitudes aid in the alcoholic's recovery (Preview) Does anyone have any experiences with this idea? In other words, how you started getting better and it actually did help the A in your life. Sometimes, I get a glimpse of it in my relationship...but then it flutters away. My AH still plays the victim role a lot and I just don't fall for it anymore--and I am...	sookie	12	862	May 11, 2012 by sookie
	It's hard not to worry.. (Preview) AF is spiriling out of control. Yesterday he told me he would go to detox today. This am, he had no intention. He left here on foot, asked me where his passport was first. He left walked to the store to buy booze, then came back for a quick second and left again. I know I shouldn't worry and I should detach, bu...	katfshh	3	387	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Mother's Day - not a Hallmark Greeting card day for me (Preview) Yes, I am a mom and for me that part of the day will be good. But as an ACoA of an A mom this is a very painful day for me. I know in many ways I played victim to her A'ness for a long time. I no longer feel victim but the pain and sadness is still there. Sometimes it's so overwhelming. I'll look at my daughter an...	amills4294	4	615	May 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.