Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sweeetr · sweeetr

I dont have expectations anymore so my dissapointments in AH are few. But one of his friends wives (suppose to be my friend) really dissapointed me ... talking crap on me ... oh well, guess I need my tools and detachments for more than just my AH. True friends are hard to find, crap stirring ppl are many a...

Jeng · Jeng

We were supposed to celebrate our 27th anniversary last night. Instead he had a beer or two after work and came home late. Then knowing that I wouldn't be happy because he promised me he'd stop drinking, he was in a bad mood. I have threatened to leave and I know it doesn't work, especially if you don't f...

nyc018 · nyc018

I had a pretty bad reaction to something AH said yesterday. Some background - he is almost 9 months sober, working a decent AA program (from what I can tell), and has a good sponsor. We're separated but he sees me and our son on weekends. I'm trying to be supportive in an arms-length way, but I am still fa...

katfshh · katfshh

About 12 ladies from my job are going on a cruise in Sept. We are in the middle of booking it. Everyone is welcome to go, but there is one woman that is just a nasty, angry, not nice person. I've always been nice to her, but honestly have no desire to share a room with her on a vacation. She is controlling and ju...

MyBrokenHeart · MyBrokenHeart

Long story short. I was married. She was a binge drinker. We had two kids. Nomatter how bad it got, I loved her with all my heart, and it got very bad. After the third or fourth ultimatum of "if you don't stop I'm leaving you," I actually filed for divorce. I wanted to give her the benefit of the d...

leogirl · leogirl

I am new here, but I am desperate for some guidance regarding the A in my life. I met this man literally a year and a half ago and he swept me off my feet, about 6 months into it I started suspecting he was an alcoholic, initially, I just thought he liked his wine. Needless to say, we fell for each other ha...

Lalu · Lalu

My boyfriend of 5 years has been in an in-patient treatment facility for 7 months now for addiciton and bipolar. The first six months were court ordered, he is now there on his own free will which I am greatful for. As part of their standard requirements, family members are required to attend Al-Annon...

Ariel · Ariel

My AB has started drinking again, daily. Today it was early enough for my kids to see it. I called the drinking buddy and asked if AB could stay w/him for the night. The drinking buddy then started berating me, telling me that I needed to come over and talk to him (the drinking buddy), because obviously th...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

I surprised myself last night and this morning. The husband was out drinking for a long time yesterday, and into the evening and night. I didn't cry. When he got home I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to him at all. This morning, when he was telling me how miserable and sorry he felt, I...

tired2012 · tired2012

I came across this web site and am in desperate hope that I can get something out of it, My husband, whom I have known for many years( and even married twice) has a alcohol problem, and has for many years, although it's not the every day type, no it's more when he is stressed, and feels like "letting it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Got my new bed yesterday! Could hardly wait! Now I really should get good night's sleep! Maybe it will make things easier in the future too. I am excited about anything that betters my life! Today is a good day! Going tomorrow w/ my ma to see a movie, lunch & some shopping! It is her 69th birhday tomorr...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I read this, and it is something I know I have to watch. My program of recovery is mine, and I can't force someone else into their own program of recovery. Loved it so much I wanted to share! "Once upon a time a woman came to Al-Anon to find out how to make her husband stop drinking. She was extremely wel...

angel86 · angel86

i love my boyfriend we both knew right away we were ment for each other he makes me so strong. But i drank with him alittle today i know i got intimidated when he wanted to drink and he said one beer and i didnt want to drink i have been in the program myself and worked real hard to change my soul heart and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I took him to court on Wednesday. The judge was extremely lenient with him. She gave him 3 days in jail and 11 days of home detention. He will be on probation for 3 years. He will have restricted driving priviliges for 60 days until the end of July at which point he will have the ignition interlock devi...

Audhead · Audhead

My AH has quit drinking for almost 3 years. In that time his behaviour has gone from bad to worse. I've been trying to analyze - somewhat to my own detriment - what is causing this. His sobriety is killing our marriage. He was once easygoing, fun, caring, inquisitive but has seen become abrasive, suspic...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi everyone, I'd be really interested to hear any experiences you have had with alcoholics in early sobriety and mood swings. My AH has been sober for 1 month. This is an amazing achievement and I am really really happy, proud and amazed that he has done it. He is going to addiction counselling twice p...

KLotus · KLotus

Last night I attended my 2nd face to face meeting this week. The topic was "taking risks." It was amazing to hear some of the wisdom from the speaker. To avoid taking (informed) risks is to live in one's fear. As some of you know, I am currently at a very significant and challenging crossr...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Been gone quite a while from this board. Coming up on Mother's Day was hard for me as I miss my mother a great deal, and her birthday follows it closely on June 11th. So I knew the day would be hard. Not made easier by my aunt (mom's sister), asking me on repeated occasions what I was planning on doing for mo...

BirdGirl · BirdGirl

Hi, new to this. I appreciate your patience. Living with an Alcoholic boyfriend of five years. I have stage IV breast cancer and am 42 years old. Right now I am cancer free. Found out today I need surgery within the next few weeks...major abdominal surgery. AB was there physically through every chemo a...

sookie · sookie

Ugh--last night I feel like 18 months of the program went out the window in many ways. My AH watches our kids so I can go to a meeting and we usually eat dinner together after and catch up. I think he was drunk when I got back and he also lied about something assinine immediately. The entire thing bubbled int...

sweeetr · sweeetr

You, your comments and this board have been so important in MY recovery. So many times I read a topic and can relate so well to it and the comments made are helpful to me as well as the person you are speaking too. I wish there was a "like" button .. because its all I can do not write .. OMG I never tho...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

My exABF moved back home today from his work where he has been for three months. we have talked here and there but have become much more distant as of recently. Since he's home he wants to see me to talk about things. But I feel different now, at least I think I do. I feel like when he's not in my life I miss him,...

Tegan · Tegan

Hi, Im Tegan. This is my first time here. Not sure where to start.....my husband drinks every night. Usually 8-12 beers. He goes out and I worry about him because I know he will be drinking. I have begged him not to! A few weeks ago he wrecked his car because he was drunk. Luckily no one was hurt, he hit a tree...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I feel as if I am floating on a cloud. Thought I would share how amazing meditation, recovery, and a life of sobriety is. About to go for a very long walk with my al-anon friend to our home group.. hope everyone is having a wonderful evening!!

sookie · sookie

I gotta tell you--this board has been an essential part of my recovery. I love being able to go back and READ what we wrote to better understand our path. I can see when I am beginning to slip

and not work the program--and that has been where I see myself lately. I especially noticed lately my focus has t...

sookie · sookie

I think a HUGE part of the problem in communicating with my separated AH is that we do not really understand each other's expectations. He talks about trying to make it work again and his lease is up in 3 months. I feel like I need to decide...it will have been a year of him living in an apartment. We have ke...

Pushka · Pushka

This is a saying that I love .. it speaks volumes to me. Regarding A's as well as to me .. say what you mean, mean what you say and then follow through. Pink brought up an interesting point in an earlier post about A's saying things and not following through I'm paraphrasing. Soooooo true ... yesterday...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody, Tomorrow is my restraining order court hearing, I think I'm handling things pretty well but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The ex RA will be there and fighting for his side of things. He's broken the stay away order [ hence going for the restraining ] but since he hasn't LITERALLY...

bigsis72 · bigsis72

Hi all, Ive stumbled upon this site and thought i would post. My name is Lisa and i live in the uk. My sister is suffering from depression ( postnatel i think) and has been drinking heavily for a few months now and its causing total devastation. She lives with her partner of 12 yrs and they have 2 children,...

Bargee · Bargee

I really do think I'm leaving my AH. I don't think I can take this anymore. Everything is being made to feel like it's my fault and everything about our relationship has changed. He went on another bender last night. Was meant to be looking after our daughter. He stopped drinking for a while while h...

katfshh · katfshh

I'm leaving in about 5 minutes to see AF. He needs some clothes, and I have a meeting at work this afternoon. The place he is at is near my work. It's a recovery home for men that has been running strong on a volunteer basis only for about 60 years. It's a good place for him, they can only stay 10 days there to ge...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello everyone. I know this is off topic here but I feel confortable coming here and am hoping that someone here has some ES&H for me about adhd. My son is 8 and has been diagnosed with adhd 6 months ago. We decided to not to do medication, but things are getting worse for him at school and at home. Th...

Tigger · Tigger

I feel like I really need support with this. My father in law is in a semi coma after a heart attack left him not breathing for 30 minutes (6 weeks ago). The prognosis is bleak for any kind of recovery to normal brain function. Meanwhile my partner, along with two half brothers and their mother/step mothe...

silent · silent

im now going on a mth of separation from my a/d b/f and for the last 3 days ive had to sit on my hands to keep from picking that phone up and calling him,im feeling soo lonesone,insecurity at its ups,i stay as busy as i can tiill i just drop in the bed at nite,sometime to tired to even put my cpap mask on for my sle...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

My husband told me the other day he would be coming home at night and not going out drinking anymore--yeah right. I knew better than to believe him, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation now. For a few days he's been doing pretty good and today he was supposed to have a really hectic day at work and I to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm working so hard on this distinction right now. I tend to give my feelings so much...authority in my life. Even more than I give facts. And while I think it is important to know my feelings and understand them, I struggle with just accepting them. I obsess and obsess and obsess. And neither my fe...

xbeckeex · xbeckeex

Hi all, first time here but it's been another of those nights so I thought I'd give this a shot! Am currently trying to help my parents move onward and upward away from their destructive codependent relationship (which I have used many times as an excuse for my own failings). Their divorce has gone thro...

BuzzBuzz · BuzzBuzz

Yesterday my ex or not ex AWsober had a tough day which puts her out of commission even for the basics such as our need to get groceries. She was apologetic (as always, when not a finger is lifted with helping around the house) I was truely fine with it. Then today rolls around and I have been at university...

tired of trying · tired of trying

So my AH is still sober and doing well -starting to breathe a sigh of relif and we get call that AD is intoxicated and we need to take in her 3 month old. Yes, could be a blessing in disguise, but right now she is allowed no contact-baby was not abused or neglected-the charge was endangerment because she was...

dragonflys · dragonflys

So I went and saw a therapist today. She was great, very knowledgable regarding addiction and codependency. Problem is that she is booked straight for the next 3-4 weeks. She did say she will help me find someone if I give her a list of the therapist that take my insurance. After the therapy session...

callmemara · callmemara

Saturday/Saturday night was really bad. I will spare you the details. Sunday morning I just kept thinking "I can't live like this for the rest of my life" I was real numb at first. Then I broke down and started weeping on the front porch and he was still passed out on the living room couch. The...

Pinhook84 · Pinhook84

I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...

bdl978 · bdl978

Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...

Althecat · Althecat

I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...

rehprof · rehprof

hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...

Bargee · Bargee

So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...

tweety23 · tweety23

My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...

GypsyRose71 · GypsyRose71

Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...

pressley27 · pressley27

I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...

kissers · kissers

I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...

Bettina · Bettina

Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...

living for me · living for me

I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...

Tracey C · Tracey C

My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...

dragonflys · dragonflys

I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	use to dissapointment but... (Preview) I dont have expectations anymore so my dissapointments in AH are few. But one of his friends wives (suppose to be my friend) really dissapointed me ... talking crap on me ... oh well, guess I need my tools and detachments for more than just my AH. True friends are hard to find, crap stirring ppl are many a...	sweeetr	2	391	May 20, 2012 by hotrod
	Help for a newcomer (Preview) We were supposed to celebrate our 27th anniversary last night. Instead he had a beer or two after work and came home late. Then knowing that I wouldn't be happy because he promised me he'd stop drinking, he was in a bad mood. I have threatened to leave and I know it doesn't work, especially if you don't f...	Jeng	6	656	May 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	I need to vent (Preview) I had a pretty bad reaction to something AH said yesterday. Some background - he is almost 9 months sober, working a decent AA program (from what I can tell), and has a good sponsor. We're separated but he sees me and our son on weekends. I'm trying to be supportive in an arms-length way, but I am still fa...	nyc018	4	520	May 20, 2012 by pineapple
	Not nice people and how to deal with them? (Preview) About 12 ladies from my job are going on a cruise in Sept. We are in the middle of booking it. Everyone is welcome to go, but there is one woman that is just a nasty, angry, not nice person. I've always been nice to her, but honestly have no desire to share a room with her on a vacation. She is controlling and ju...	katfshh	8	574	May 20, 2012 by katfshh
	I'm pretty sure that my 10 year relationship with the woman I love is over. (Preview) Long story short. I was married. She was a binge drinker. We had two kids. Nomatter how bad it got, I loved her with all my heart, and it got very bad. After the third or fourth ultimatum of "if you don't stop I'm leaving you," I actually filed for divorce. I wanted to give her the benefit of the d...	MyBrokenHeart	12	587	May 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Have I lost my mind???? (Preview) I am new here, but I am desperate for some guidance regarding the A in my life. I met this man literally a year and a half ago and he swept me off my feet, about 6 months into it I started suspecting he was an alcoholic, initially, I just thought he liked his wine. Needless to say, we fell for each other ha...	leogirl	5	588	May 20, 2012 by Debilyn
	Forced to get Al-Annon sponsor... thoughts? (Preview) My boyfriend of 5 years has been in an in-patient treatment facility for 7 months now for addiciton and bipolar. The first six months were court ordered, he is now there on his own free will which I am greatful for. As part of their standard requirements, family members are required to attend Al-Annon...	Lalu	11	839	May 19, 2012 by nmike
	Called Police (Preview) My AB has started drinking again, daily. Today it was early enough for my kids to see it. I called the drinking buddy and asked if AB could stay w/him for the night. The drinking buddy then started berating me, telling me that I needed to come over and talk to him (the drinking buddy), because obviously th...	Ariel	9	697	May 19, 2012 by LeahC
	I surprised myself! (Preview) I surprised myself last night and this morning. The husband was out drinking for a long time yesterday, and into the evening and night. I didn't cry. When he got home I pretended I was asleep because I didn't want to talk to him at all. This morning, when he was telling me how miserable and sorry he felt, I...	ladysoblue	8	510	May 19, 2012 by Pushka
	New to Al-anon (Preview) I came across this web site and am in desperate hope that I can get something out of it, My husband, whom I have known for many years( and even married twice) has a alcohol problem, and has for many years, although it's not the every day type, no it's more when he is stressed, and feels like "letting it...	tired2012	5	463	May 19, 2012 by Pushka
	Just me; real simple! (Preview) Got my new bed yesterday! Could hardly wait! Now I really should get good night's sleep! Maybe it will make things easier in the future too. I am excited about anything that betters my life! Today is a good day! Going tomorrow w/ my ma to see a movie, lunch & some shopping! It is her 69th birhday tomorr...	Hoot Nanny	0	280	May 18, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	ODAT May 18 (Preview) I read this, and it is something I know I have to watch. My program of recovery is mine, and I can't force someone else into their own program of recovery. Loved it so much I wanted to share! "Once upon a time a woman came to Al-Anon to find out how to make her husband stop drinking. She was extremely wel...	Jackie11	5	640	May 19, 2012 by Michelle814
	I drank with my aloholic boyfriend (Preview) i love my boyfriend we both knew right away we were ment for each other he makes me so strong. But i drank with him alittle today i know i got intimidated when he wanted to drink and he said one beer and i didnt want to drink i have been in the program myself and worked real hard to change my soul heart and...	angel86	4	630	May 19, 2012 by Debilyn
	AH was sentenced on Wednesday (Preview) I took him to court on Wednesday. The judge was extremely lenient with him. She gave him 3 days in jail and 11 days of home detention. He will be on probation for 3 years. He will have restricted driving priviliges for 60 days until the end of July at which point he will have the ignition interlock devi...	ilovedogs	10	755	May 19, 2012 by Debilyn
	Sobriety Behaviour (Preview) My AH has quit drinking for almost 3 years. In that time his behaviour has gone from bad to worse. I've been trying to analyze - somewhat to my own detriment - what is causing this. His sobriety is killing our marriage. He was once easygoing, fun, caring, inquisitive but has seen become abrasive, suspic...	Audhead	8	703	May 18, 2012 by Audhead
	Mood swings in the newly sober alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, I'd be really interested to hear any experiences you have had with alcoholics in early sobriety and mood swings. My AH has been sober for 1 month. This is an amazing achievement and I am really really happy, proud and amazed that he has done it. He is going to addiction counselling twice p...	sarah1979	7	3687	May 18, 2012 by sarah1979
	Taking Risks (Preview) Last night I attended my 2nd face to face meeting this week. The topic was "taking risks." It was amazing to hear some of the wisdom from the speaker. To avoid taking (informed) risks is to live in one's fear. As some of you know, I am currently at a very significant and challenging crossr...	KLotus	10	893	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	An unexpected reaction (Preview) Been gone quite a while from this board. Coming up on Mother's Day was hard for me as I miss my mother a great deal, and her birthday follows it closely on June 11th. So I knew the day would be hard. Not made easier by my aunt (mom's sister), asking me on repeated occasions what I was planning on doing for mo...	scholarlydragon	2	473	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Help (Preview) Hi, new to this. I appreciate your patience. Living with an Alcoholic boyfriend of five years. I have stage IV breast cancer and am 42 years old. Right now I am cancer free. Found out today I need surgery within the next few weeks...major abdominal surgery. AB was there physically through every chemo a...	BirdGirl	6	466	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	I let him steal by peace! (Preview) Ugh--last night I feel like 18 months of the program went out the window in many ways. My AH watches our kids so I can go to a meeting and we usually eat dinner together after and catch up. I think he was drunk when I got back and he also lied about something assinine immediately. The entire thing bubbled int...	sookie	2	474	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	Thanks (Preview) You, your comments and this board have been so important in MY recovery. So many times I read a topic and can relate so well to it and the comments made are helpful to me as well as the person you are speaking too. I wish there was a "like" button .. because its all I can do not write .. OMG I never tho...	sweeetr	2	285	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	How do I know if I've already given up? (Preview) My exABF moved back home today from his work where he has been for three months. we have talked here and there but have become much more distant as of recently. Since he's home he wants to see me to talk about things. But I feel different now, at least I think I do. I feel like when he's not in my life I miss him,...	Corgi2	2	479	May 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	at a loss! (Preview) Hi, Im Tegan. This is my first time here. Not sure where to start.....my husband drinks every night. Usually 8-12 beers. He goes out and I worry about him because I know he will be drinking. I have begged him not to! A few weeks ago he wrecked his car because he was drunk. Luckily no one was hurt, he hit a tree...	Tegan	6	684	May 18, 2012 by Corgi2
	Love (Preview) I feel as if I am floating on a cloud. Thought I would share how amazing meditation, recovery, and a life of sobriety is. About to go for a very long walk with my al-anon friend to our home group.. hope everyone is having a wonderful evening!!	Michelle814	7	556	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	noticing my own 'slips' (Preview) I gotta tell you--this board has been an essential part of my recovery. I love being able to go back and READ what we wrote to better understand our path. I can see when I am beginning to slip and not work the program--and that has been where I see myself lately. I especially noticed lately my focus has t...	sookie	4	401	May 18, 2012 by ladysoblue
	Reasonable request or asking too much? (Preview) I think a HUGE part of the problem in communicating with my separated AH is that we do not really understand each other's expectations. He talks about trying to make it work again and his lease is up in 3 months. I feel like I need to decide...it will have been a year of him living in an apartment. We have ke...	sookie	9	545	May 18, 2012 by dragonflys
	Suiting up and Showing up (Preview) This is a saying that I love .. it speaks volumes to me. Regarding A's as well as to me .. say what you mean, mean what you say and then follow through. Pink brought up an interesting point in an earlier post about A's saying things and not following through I'm paraphrasing. Soooooo true ... yesterday...	Pushka	7	688	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Restraining order court hearing tomorrow (Preview) Hi everybody, Tomorrow is my restraining order court hearing, I think I'm handling things pretty well but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. The ex RA will be there and fighting for his side of things. He's broken the stay away order [ hence going for the restraining ] but since he hasn't LITERALLY...	rara avis	6	468	May 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Newbie. Help! (Preview) Hi all, Ive stumbled upon this site and thought i would post. My name is Lisa and i live in the uk. My sister is suffering from depression ( postnatel i think) and has been drinking heavily for a few months now and its causing total devastation. She lives with her partner of 12 yrs and they have 2 children,...	bigsis72	5	607	May 18, 2012 by BuzzBuzz
	I think I'm leaving (Preview) I really do think I'm leaving my AH. I don't think I can take this anymore. Everything is being made to feel like it's my fault and everything about our relationship has changed. He went on another bender last night. Was meant to be looking after our daughter. He stopped drinking for a while while h...	Bargee	22	630	May 18, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Going to see him now (Preview) I'm leaving in about 5 minutes to see AF. He needs some clothes, and I have a meeting at work this afternoon. The place he is at is near my work. It's a recovery home for men that has been running strong on a volunteer basis only for about 60 years. It's a good place for him, they can only stay 10 days there to ge...	katfshh	11	517	May 18, 2012 by Bargee
	Anger Management anger gratitude (Preview) I have been harboring a great deal of anger these past couple of weeks due to increasing financial challenges that are a big issue with my pending divorce with my AH. I had a session with my therapist this week and asked her if using a "punching bag" or trying kick-boxing were really viable op...	Green Eyes	2	6341	May 18, 2012 by Oksie
	Anyone's child have adhd? (Preview) Hello everyone. I know this is off topic here but I feel confortable coming here and am hoping that someone here has some ES&H for me about adhd. My son is 8 and has been diagnosed with adhd 6 months ago. We decided to not to do medication, but things are getting worse for him at school and at home. Th...	willowtree	9	752	May 18, 2012 by katfshh
	Toxic drama (Preview) I feel like I really need support with this. My father in law is in a semi coma after a heart attack left him not breathing for 30 minutes (6 weeks ago). The prognosis is bleak for any kind of recovery to normal brain function. Meanwhile my partner, along with two half brothers and their mother/step mothe...	Tigger	3	553	May 18, 2012 by orchidlover
	oh my why why me. (Preview) im now going on a mth of separation from my a/d b/f and for the last 3 days ive had to sit on my hands to keep from picking that phone up and calling him,im feeling soo lonesone,insecurity at its ups,i stay as busy as i can tiill i just drop in the bed at nite,sometime to tired to even put my cpap mask on for my sle...	silent	6	526	May 18, 2012 by Ariel
	Not sure how to handle situations like this. (Preview) My husband told me the other day he would be coming home at night and not going out drinking anymore--yeah right. I knew better than to believe him, but I'm not sure how to handle the situation now. For a few days he's been doing pretty good and today he was supposed to have a really hectic day at work and I to...	TryingToChange	11	618	May 18, 2012 by Michelle814
	Facts vs. Feelings (Preview) I'm working so hard on this distinction right now. I tend to give my feelings so much...authority in my life. Even more than I give facts. And while I think it is important to know my feelings and understand them, I struggle with just accepting them. I obsess and obsess and obsess. And neither my fe...	stephaniej	7	1431	May 17, 2012 by hotrod
	Struggling with a new start new home moving (Preview) Hi all, first time here but it's been another of those nights so I thought I'd give this a shot! Am currently trying to help my parents move onward and upward away from their destructive codependent relationship (which I have used many times as an excuse for my own failings). Their divorce has gone thro...	xbeckeex	4	7304	May 17, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Control/Expression/Communication (Preview) Yesterday my ex or not ex AWsober had a tough day which puts her out of commission even for the basics such as our need to get groceries. She was apologetic (as always, when not a finger is lifted with helping around the house) I was truely fine with it. Then today rolls around and I have been at university...	BuzzBuzz	4	454	May 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	What Now? (Preview) So my AH is still sober and doing well -starting to breathe a sigh of relif and we get call that AD is intoxicated and we need to take in her 3 month old. Yes, could be a blessing in disguise, but right now she is allowed no contact-baby was not abused or neglected-the charge was endangerment because she was...	tired of trying	4	361	May 17, 2012 by tired of trying
	Does this have to get ugly? What are my legal obligations? (Preview) So I went and saw a therapist today. She was great, very knowledgable regarding addiction and codependency. Problem is that she is booked straight for the next 3-4 weeks. She did say she will help me find someone if I give her a list of the therapist that take my insurance. After the therapy session...	dragonflys	7	549	May 17, 2012 by dragonflys
	outpatient rehab (Preview) Saturday/Saturday night was really bad. I will spare you the details. Sunday morning I just kept thinking "I can't live like this for the rest of my life" I was real numb at first. Then I broke down and started weeping on the front porch and he was still passed out on the living room couch. The...	callmemara	10	547	May 17, 2012 by Oksie
	Detox with no insurance detox (Preview) I've looked through these threads to be sure I'm not duplicating another, so if I am, point me in the right direction. I have several concerns about detox for a loved one with no insurance. First, obviously, is the cost of in-patient detox. He doesn't have insurance, and he may not be able to afford this...	Pinhook84	8	6359	May 17, 2012 by callmemara
	Family planing with a newly recovering addict... (Preview) Hello. New to the board and I have a question about family planning, control and the addict. a little back story... My wife is an anorexic/bulemic/alcoholic. she began outpatient treatment last July after hitting bottom with a legal incident that also involved our then 18 month old daughter. at the...	bdl978	15	753	May 16, 2012 by Michelle814
	Dating a recovering alcoholic and sex addict. I have some questions. (Preview) I started dating this great guy a while back, about 6 months I guess. At first he was great; open, thoughtful, physical, affectionate. Slowly his behavior has devolved into something very selfish. Basically with out going into the details, if it suits him he will do it with little or no thought of...	Althecat	10	1153	May 16, 2012 by orchidlover
	Trying to keep swimming (Preview) hi all my job is crazy...I've picked up extra work because I can't pay the bills...and I am working 60 hours a week and can't keep up! My kid has baseball that keeps us out 2-3 nights a week until 9 pm...and I am trying to keep a house, do laundry, yardwork, repairs...and just feeling like I'm never going t...	rehprof	6	491	May 16, 2012 by rehprof
	I will not ring him!!!! (Preview) So AH is late home from work and for the first time ever I am trying so hard to stick to my goal and NOT ring him to see where he is, or when/if he is coming home. I feel sick to my stomach, angry, nervous, upset, angry etc etc but I am not going to ring him!!!! I know that he is drinking as he is only ever late home fr...	Bargee	6	572	May 16, 2012 by Bargee
	holy mackerel! (Preview) I don't know what to say except I am having a good day here in God's country--that is what we call it here. We are surrounded by moutains & such beautiful scenery. I am sitting her at the computer & can see what I am talking about. How many of you can say that? I am excited about the future. I am gettin...	Hoot Nanny	3	413	May 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	Huge fight/now what? (Preview) I get so frustrated when we fight. I hate silence or feeling like I'm being given the silent treatment and I'm usually the one who starts communicating and trying to make some sort of connection, albeit a surface connection at best. It was a typical fight for us: me getting mad about his passive agres...	ilovedogs	9	693	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Could this be a trigger (dining together) (Preview) My BIL is an alcoholic, and severely so, in that he has been living on the streets and lost everything due to alcohol. He was a frightening sort of person while actively drinking and I refused to have him around my child for years we have not seen him. However he has been in some sort of recovery (no AA thoug...	tweety23	8	607	May 16, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Hello Again Friends (Preview) Well,I'm back,again, I debated whether to post or not,but decided to. much has changed over the last few years. I decided I had had enough of the disease and wanted out, I walked away from 8.5 years of my life. my A was using again, just about out of control,Extremely sad really bacause I know he's an Int...	GypsyRose71	6	496	May 16, 2012 by Pushka
	So exhausting (Preview) I've been doing this five yrs. I'm getting good at detaching and not fighting back. But I had to ask him to leave last wkend it's just too ridiculous and exhausting. My AH has now agreed to quit drinking and go back to counciling to try and learn how to cope with life stresses without alcohol and "wha...	sweeetr	4	338	May 16, 2012 by sookie
	Update - How do you know when change is real? (Preview) Update from my Tuesday AH off the wagon drama. He and I have been apart until today when we met his therapist. He is despondent, won't eat or drink and quite frankly I've never seen this behavior before. She had him in there alone for almost an hour, then called me in, this was the message: my AH still wan...	surfgirl123	13	594	May 15, 2012 by sookie
	to go or to stay (Preview) I am a new comer ! So I dn't know where to begin. I have a fiance who has relapsed twice in three years. We were both single parents, fell in love while combining two households togther. Along the way we had a little boy who is almost four. He had been clean six years (claims anyway) before we meet. I didnt...	pressley27	5	519	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Need someone's experience or insight (Preview) I'm in love with an alcoholic. I know only God/HP can take away his need for drinking. I really don't believe drinking is the major problem, but it doesn't help. It seems like everytime I tried to get close to him, he would push me away. So, I know not to take it personally but it still hurts. He never tells m...	kissers	11	609	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Dementia /Alanon works for that too!! (Preview) Hi everyone! Been gone a long time. Life for me has changed again. Left Los Angeles, now in Riverside caretaking my Mom who has dementia, she is 86. Got rid of mostly everything(feels good) just held on to bare minimum and we got a two bedroom in a very luxurious place. 55 and over. I had been contemplatin...	Bettina	6	2679	May 15, 2012 by Bettina
	Expectations (Preview) Had another one of those A-Ha moments yesterday, courtesy of my Al Anon tools. I have been feeling better about myself lately in terms of letting go of a lot of the expectations I have of my AH. I no longer get upset that he does nothing to help around the house, even when I ask. I no longer take it personal...	stephaniej	8	757	May 15, 2012 by maryjane
	What would you do??? (Preview) I am currently in a 90 day separation from my husband who is an alcoholic and a marijuana addict. He has "supposedly" been clean for six weeks. He told me me last night that he had a get together to play poker in our garage Saturday evening. He invited three friends. One an alcoholic and two mar...	living for me	6	550	May 15, 2012 by dragonflys
	Mothers Day Lunch - vent (Preview) My Mum yelled at my sister and I before we were to go to lunch today. We're both in our 40's. She lost patience and yelled. My sister hadn't heard her do it for years. I've heard her quite often over the years. She doesn't bother to try to hide it from myself or my children. What a lovely way to start a Mo...	Tracey C	7	595	May 15, 2012 by Tracey C
	What are the options?? (Preview) I asked my AH to leave our family home. He has been gone for a few days. I emailed him and told him that I did not want him coming back for a while. I cannot live with him. He doesnt work, and I really dont have the money to support him any longer. I have two kids that I have to take care of. I make just enough...	dragonflys	10	525	May 15, 2012 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.