Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

holivex · holivex

In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...

Pushka · Pushka

It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/

nyc018 · nyc018

So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...

TinaMalaty · TinaMalaty

Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...

John · John

The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...

JJ21 · JJ21

I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...

Pushka · Pushka

I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...

Chaya · Chaya

I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, I have not been active on this site for almost a year now. Shame on me. I got married last Fall and thought he would change. Of course he didn't. Our first year of marriage, much like the 2 years we dated before that, have been him drinking in the afternoons before I get home from work, then trying to...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello all, I posted on here once about my boyfriend who is an alcoholic; we are both 31. I have been with him for 6 years. Basically, it has been an on and off reltionship for many reasons (lying, not working, hanging out with friends all day and night, verbal abuse, crazy behavior and cheating). I ha...

pineapple · pineapple

It's been one month and one day since my A (nowX) left. It seems like this was the best thing for both of us. He is doing much better now. Says he hasn't had a drink since he's been gone and I believe him. He's getting counseling, eating again, getting his health back. I had a tough go of it for the first coupl...

Strawberry · Strawberry

My family member is an alcoholic. He is making his second attempt at sobriety. He is 36 days sober. His wife, however, is frustrating me and maybe I am wrong. Here's why I'm frustrated and on the verge of angry...after his 1st attempt, at about 30-40 days, she asked him if he would mind if she drank som...

holivex · holivex

My AH called me over the weekend and left a message on my answering machine. Told me that he had called our health insurance company to see about getting back into treatment (this would be the third time in two and a half months) and it 'wasn't looking good." I knew that was a lie, they would never t...

Tigger · Tigger

Hi folks...it seems there may be a problem with people being able to access the chat room from their computers, which may be accounting for falling numbers. PLEASE as a HUGE favour to the community could anyone who reads this try to access the room at this link http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom...

Angel14 · Angel14

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that encouraged me to go. I was very nervous but within minutes I felt safe and welcomed. One lady shared her story and it hit particularly close to home. I sat there "ugly crying" yet I didn't feel judged. I'm so glad to finally find a place where...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

AH has slipped out of sobriety. Today drove home buzzed, legally intoxicated I'm sure. This time around I feel like I'll be able to handle it better. He clearly has a problem that I have nothing to do with. My hard boundaries: I won't be around him while he's drunk. I won't allow my kids to be alone wit...

LulaMay · LulaMay

I have just recently joined this forum and the chat and O MAN have I learned a lot. It is a complete new way of thinking. I guess I am really working on Step 1 and realizing that I am truly powerless. This morning I found my AH passed out in our garage when I woke up to get ready for work. I count on him to watch our...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Anyone read Language of Letting Go Today? It talked about having the courage to be ourselves, a very hard thing for me. A few years ago after going thru the steps it was so easy to have that courage, God protected me, it was amazing. But after making a brief impulsive codependent mistake which the other p...

ejohnson55 · ejohnson55

My significant other is in rehab, a intensive 30 in patient treatment. My mother and father want me to leave him, they say I'm being selfish to my family and not considering their feelings. THey do not understand that alcoholism is a disease, they are telling me how dare I put them through this and that...

tortuga · tortuga

Dear MIP family, I realize that whatever another person does, it should not affect me in my own decisions or actions. There is this slogan in Al Anon that goes soemwhat like that: 'He is gonna drink or not drink, what are you goanna do?' and it says a lot. But still, today I feel somewhat confused because I...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I have found a better nickname for me and where I am at in my growth in Al-anon. Someone once said I am no longer a flop and I must agree. So I will be reregistering and making a new come back. I am wishing everyone much growth in their own programs as well. Here is to turning over a new leaf! Sending you all much...

Icie · Icie

I tried to join the on line Al anon group tonight, but did Not & could not figure out how to change to my nickname ????? I had a really bad day & right now I cannot stop the tears. I am dammed if I do & dammed if I don't. As you know one son is a alcoholic & another son is married to a alcoholic lad...

Angel14 · Angel14

I am in my early 40's and I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We have 2 kids aged 12 and under. My husband blames me for his drinking. Last November, I'd had enough of him being a selfish jerk and told him I wanted a divorce. He was a social drinker back then. Now he says I ruined his life when I told h...

Sam813 · Sam813

The hardest thing about my brother being an addict and homeless is that I miss him terribly. I wish I could see him. I notice myself seeing a homeless person on the street and hoping it was my brother. I just wish I could call him and hear his voice, see him and give him a hug and pray with him. I can't stan...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Went to an Alanon Big Book Study meeting last night. There was so much recovery in the room it was astounding. All the Alanoners had been through the 12 steps using the Big Book of AA. The honesty and sense of responsibility was awesome. The peace and the power too.

Sam813 · Sam813

Hi, My baby brother is 20, is an addict and has been homeless since my mom kicked him out. Previous to this he was 1 year in AA going to meetings daily. He was doing so well. I haven't slept, ate, or functioned very well since he has been out on the street. My mom is following the alanon approach and are n...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, it's Monday morning and tomorrow is moving day for my AH. He found an apartment and is doing the big move tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed emotions but still know my decision to separate was the right one. I spent the weekend doing lawn work, for those of you that don't know me you should know I HATE yard...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I am all of me for all of you. I have been super-honest lately. My fear is going back to lying. I have so much to say & always so little time to tell all of you. I have a history of covering the truth. I am always honest on here. But, at home, I sometimes lie; sometimes overtly. I have to remember that I a...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

In church yesterday, I realized that I enjoy the experience al-anon speak about being happy and enjoying life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It must have been something the minister was saying, but I thought of my a/a daughter and realized I'm always just a tear from crying, the pain...

debhud · debhud

i work a decent program. and i am able to detatch fairly easily. i don't really care if my AS is drinking or not. i love him just the same. yesterday my 13yo granddaughter and i went to lunch. her parents separated 8 months ago and she chose to live with dad to take care of him. (god love my daughter-in-...

rehprof · rehprof

HUNGRY: I don't have the time to fulfill even the simplist of needs, and have to do better. I eat Doritos out of the machine for lunch and run all day and realize I haven't drank anything. I am hungry literally, emotionally, and spiritually, and finding very little in my life for me. My work and my kids and...

LulaMay · LulaMay

I grew up in an alcoholic household and I must have told myself a million times that I was never going to marry anyone with a drinking problem....but I did. My husband has tried to quit several times. He isn't physically abusive or anything but I am so bitter because alcohol has been his priority, the par...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a line I used to hear from my ex-A so often...wow. I remember feeling like all I ever did was support him. I was paying his share and was always encouraging him to make a go at whatever hairbrained plan he had for making money (get rich quick schemes instead of ever willing to get a normal job like I...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

This was something I read on a blag this morning and it reminded me how I am so much better for my struggles. I know when I get through all this schooling it will be well worth it and I love what I am showing my girls in the midst of it, it is never too late to o for your dreams and soar! Sending you all love and supp...

tortuga · tortuga

so it happened... I'm stuck .... AGAIN. working through the program, and doing great I think, with all that came along lately. Really loving myself more, but still: sometimes anger comes back (anger, I discovered during my program, is my 'best friend' that always sticks around, like a shadow...but...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm in the middle of what feels like a crushing financial drama in my life. It has left me feeling very anti-universe, like every time I make the tiniest step of progress forward, something happens and shoves me back about a hundred yards. I know that a very large part of the financial crisis is a resul...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anonId like to share something to anyone willing to listen. I have been doing some thinking about living vs. surviving. Most of my life has been about surviving. People who grow up in healthy, stable households grow...

shannah · shannah

Hi, I have just split up with my boyfriend ans am very upset. In seven weeks he has dropped me 5 times. He is a darling in his normal state but when he turns to the second personality he turns in a violent, cruel and ugly being. He is racist, insulting, paranoid, jealeous, possessive,makes up stories such...

canadianguy · canadianguy

One of the great old sayings in Al-Anon is that "Some of us are strong enough to stay, some of us are strong enough to leave", and I couldn't agree more.... I get nervous/anxious on here whenever I see people encourage those who have left their A that "wow, they are so strong", as i...

UK Jane · UK Jane

Due to my job I haven't been able to make a meeting for the last 2 weeks. My sponsor rang me the other day to ask me if I'd like to go to a convention with her today. I wanted to go but had a lot of chores to do today, so I said I'd let her know then yesterday I had a really bad day so called her up and said yes please....

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

A little background, AH admitted to using Meth again this week. This is the second time since rehab. He chose to quit again. I didn't ask him to, but he knows I don't choose to live in that situation. So he's detoxing at home, quitting by himself. Choosing not to get any help, no rehab, no counseling or a...

ladysingstheblues · ladysingstheblues

Hi All. I'm new to these boards, but not new to this... I started to write a little backstory about myself, and the last ten years with my partner (engaged for the last 3)... but I just don't have the energy to relive it right now. I've been up all night. Things are bad. Really bad. And it would not be unreas...

Icie · Icie

My alcoholic son, who has a twin brother finally hit his bottom .. the twin brother was enabling his alcoholic brother big time & for over a year whenever he would phone to tell me the horrid stories about how his alcoholic brother hurt him used him, manipulated him, conned him, broke dates, commi...

teachmath · teachmath

I have a question about the one year milestone of sobriety. My bf and I have dated nearly 10 months and he is less than a month away from being sober for an entire year. However, instead of our relationship and his behavior improving and growing, he has relapsed into his former self, treating me with di...

Tigger · Tigger

Hi everyone. I'm on a mission to improve support for our online meetings here on the MIP website alanon chat room. They are often a first port of call for newcomers (and those with disabilities) and it is vital they be kept going. I realise that Summer is a time when people have been on vacation but now the...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

My name is slogan_jim. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, around a father who sometimes never loved himself, putting up with his abusive and alcoholic partners, and a mother that was never around, I find I have gathered a very distorted view on what love is. I don't know what it is anymo...

Aloha · Aloha

I caught myself at the grocery store this morning planning to "nice it up" with a store cashier when I was picking up a few items. The cashier and I recognize each other and are, for the most part, on friendly terms. She's been working there for years and I've been swinging by during her usual h...

denro · denro

Yesterday afternoon I started feeling resentful at my compulsively lying investment partner. As a result I started doing the "Dont's" by sending texts calling him on his broken promises, etc. I was pointing the finger and being accusatory to him. He retaliated, yet promised to send me a...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone I'm a grateful member of al-anon, the A in my life, my partner, she drinks every night. There is a lot of strain - I'm looking for work, my partners mum has been in hospital a bit recently. She's had a couple of bladder infections, last one requiring IV antibiotics. She is 80 and not in great hea...

gracealone · gracealone

I went to my first face to face Alanon meeting today. I am glad that I went. It was really a God thing. I was in the part of town where the meeting was, at a friend's and happened to be driving by just minutes before it started, so I pulled in and went! So glad I did. I think I'll keep coming back. Having su...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So even as is wrote that subj line, the other part of my brain was saying, "who cares". Buuutttt...Heres what I wonder....my ah is out ..at bar, at friends...2_3 and sometimes more, times per week....me, im home taking care of the home and our child. Hes rarely home for dinner, sometimes ba...

Icie · Icie

For years I have always asked my Grandchildren to make a list for me for Christmas of things they would like as a gift. Out of the list I always bought them one gift for a $100.00 & another one for about $10.00 & a few stocking stuffers. This year I have done the same asked for a list & for them to g...

DavidG · DavidG

...it came out in the paper today... an inquest over my nephew. He died over 18 months ago, the same night our mum died. I recall coming home and then getting told. I went round and was able to comfort his daughter aged 12. The poor kid had lost her dad to a drug overdose, and had lived through a rape an...

Jozie · Jozie

Howdy MIP Family :0) This Past Week I got to spend some Really Nice Quality Time with My 88 Year old AGrandma! As Some Know I Lost My Afather to this Disease at 58yrs old in 2008. Well this is His Momma! She calls me on the Phone out of the blue one day & states my Aunt is Leaving town for a couple day (She st...

Yvette · Yvette

Hi my name is Yvette I've been married to an alcoholic for 2 years. I'm currently pregnant and at the early stage of pregnancy. In the early part of this year around January, I wanted to leave my husband because of his abuse while being intoxicated. He would verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Dang. I have known this was a problem for me for a LONG time. I do not say no when the boss heaps more work on me. I don't say NO when clients are unreasonably demanding. I let myself get taxed to the breaking point. Aside from coming to these boards in the morning, I haven't had time to do much of anythin...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

After yet another argument that I Participated in ,he came home threw some things in MY car and said he would bring it back tomarrow as he WAS working on the brakes and the part he needed wouldn't be in until today! I don't believe him, because it sure looked like he had brakes when he went out the driveway....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need insight - how can it not be a choice? (Preview) In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...	holivex	16	629	Oct 5, 2012 by PP
	Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly .. (Preview) It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...	Pushka	9	506	Oct 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	TRADITION 12 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/	hotrod	0	244	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
	"When in Doubt, Don't" or Staying Needlessly Stuck? (Preview) So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...	nyc018	8	665	Oct 5, 2012 by tortuga
	Short and not so sweet (Preview) Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...	AllieinAlanon	5	483	Oct 4, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Living with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...	TinaMalaty	8	516	Oct 5, 2012 by TinaMalaty
	The Velveteen Rabbit (Preview) The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...	John	5	622	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Worrying Again!! (Preview) I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...	JJ21	7	469	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Struggling today/ need some ESH (Preview) I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...	ilovedogs	11	621	Oct 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	Alanon Weekend :) (Preview) I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...	Pushka	8	485	Oct 4, 2012 by amills4294
	Relief (Preview) I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...	Chaya	2	435	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Questions about Rehab (Preview) Hi, I have not been active on this site for almost a year now. Shame on me. I got married last Fall and thought he would change. Of course he didn't. Our first year of marriage, much like the 2 years we dated before that, have been him drinking in the afternoons before I get home from work, then trying to...	NovSun	9	570	Oct 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	Broken and confused (Preview) Hello all, I posted on here once about my boyfriend who is an alcoholic; we are both 31. I have been with him for 6 years. Basically, it has been an on and off reltionship for many reasons (lying, not working, hanging out with friends all day and night, verbal abuse, crazy behavior and cheating). I ha...	Gingerbread81	14	574	Oct 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	One month (Preview) It's been one month and one day since my A (nowX) left. It seems like this was the best thing for both of us. He is doing much better now. Says he hasn't had a drink since he's been gone and I believe him. He's getting counseling, eating again, getting his health back. I had a tough go of it for the first coupl...	pineapple	5	281	Oct 4, 2012 by tortuga
	Frustrated and not sure if I should be... (Preview) My family member is an alcoholic. He is making his second attempt at sobriety. He is 36 days sober. His wife, however, is frustrating me and maybe I am wrong. Here's why I'm frustrated and on the verge of angry...after his 1st attempt, at about 30-40 days, she asked him if he would mind if she drank som...	Strawberry	6	450	Oct 4, 2012 by Strawberry
	Why, why, why do I still have feelings for this man? (Preview) My AH called me over the weekend and left a message on my answering machine. Told me that he had called our health insurance company to see about getting back into treatment (this would be the third time in two and a half months) and it 'wasn't looking good." I knew that was a lie, they would never t...	holivex	9	544	Oct 4, 2012 by JJ21
	Chat room access (Preview) Hi folks...it seems there may be a problem with people being able to access the chat room from their computers, which may be accounting for falling numbers. PLEASE as a HUGE favour to the community could anyone who reads this try to access the room at this link http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom...	Tigger	4	327	Oct 4, 2012 by bud
	First Meeting Today (Preview) Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that encouraged me to go. I was very nervous but within minutes I felt safe and welcomed. One lady shared her story and it hit particularly close to home. I sat there "ugly crying" yet I didn't feel judged. I'm so glad to finally find a place where...	Angel14	6	309	Oct 4, 2012 by Jill
	Almost easier this time around (Preview) AH has slipped out of sobriety. Today drove home buzzed, legally intoxicated I'm sure. This time around I feel like I'll be able to handle it better. He clearly has a problem that I have nothing to do with. My hard boundaries: I won't be around him while he's drunk. I won't allow my kids to be alone wit...	Hot Chicka	2	386	Oct 4, 2012 by holivex
	What in heavens have I been missing? (Preview) I have just recently joined this forum and the chat and O MAN have I learned a lot. It is a complete new way of thinking. I guess I am really working on Step 1 and realizing that I am truly powerless. This morning I found my AH passed out in our garage when I woke up to get ready for work. I count on him to watch our...	LulaMay	5	339	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Being Yourself (Preview) Anyone read Language of Letting Go Today? It talked about having the courage to be ourselves, a very hard thing for me. A few years ago after going thru the steps it was so easy to have that courage, God protected me, it was amazing. But after making a brief impulsive codependent mistake which the other p...	WorkingThroughIt	9	537	Oct 3, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	unsupportive family (Preview) My significant other is in rehab, a intensive 30 in patient treatment. My mother and father want me to leave him, they say I'm being selfish to my family and not considering their feelings. THey do not understand that alcoholism is a disease, they are telling me how dare I put them through this and that...	ejohnson55	5	797	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	am I too slow or is he too fast to follow? (Preview) Dear MIP family, I realize that whatever another person does, it should not affect me in my own decisions or actions. There is this slogan in Al Anon that goes soemwhat like that: 'He is gonna drink or not drink, what are you goanna do?' and it says a lot. But still, today I feel somewhat confused because I...	tortuga	5	555	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Goodbye to flopadopilus (Preview) I have found a better nickname for me and where I am at in my growth in Al-anon. Someone once said I am no longer a flop and I must agree. So I will be reregistering and making a new come back. I am wishing everyone much growth in their own programs as well. Here is to turning over a new leaf! Sending you all much...	flopadopilus	17	535	Oct 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I totally lost my serenity today (Preview) I tried to join the on line Al anon group tonight, but did Not & could not figure out how to change to my nickname ????? I had a really bad day & right now I cannot stop the tears. I am dammed if I do & dammed if I don't. As you know one son is a alcoholic & another son is married to a alcoholic lad...	Icie	5	502	Oct 3, 2012 by Icie
	I'm new here, not sure where to begin (Preview) I am in my early 40's and I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We have 2 kids aged 12 and under. My husband blames me for his drinking. Last November, I'd had enough of him being a selfish jerk and told him I wanted a divorce. He was a social drinker back then. Now he says I ruined his life when I told h...	Angel14	9	511	Oct 3, 2012 by pinkchip
	I miss my brother (Preview) The hardest thing about my brother being an addict and homeless is that I miss him terribly. I wish I could see him. I notice myself seeing a homeless person on the street and hoping it was my brother. I just wish I could call him and hear his voice, see him and give him a hug and pray with him. I can't stan...	Sam813	2	590	Oct 3, 2012 by slogan_jim
	Using AA Big Book (Preview) Went to an Alanon Big Book Study meeting last night. There was so much recovery in the room it was astounding. All the Alanoners had been through the 12 steps using the Big Book of AA. The honesty and sense of responsibility was awesome. The peace and the power too.	WorkingThroughIt	6	3533	Oct 3, 2012 by Overcome
	New to Alanon (Preview) Hi, My baby brother is 20, is an addict and has been homeless since my mom kicked him out. Previous to this he was 1 year in AA going to meetings daily. He was doing so well. I haven't slept, ate, or functioned very well since he has been out on the street. My mom is following the alanon approach and are n...	Sam813	4	491	Oct 3, 2012 by Sam813
	Moving Day Is Finally Here (Preview) Well, it's Monday morning and tomorrow is moving day for my AH. He found an apartment and is doing the big move tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed emotions but still know my decision to separate was the right one. I spent the weekend doing lawn work, for those of you that don't know me you should know I HATE yard...	TrudyS85	4	459	Oct 2, 2012 by pinkchip
	so, here I am! (Preview) Here I am all of me for all of you. I have been super-honest lately. My fear is going back to lying. I have so much to say & always so little time to tell all of you. I have a history of covering the truth. I am always honest on here. But, at home, I sometimes lie; sometimes overtly. I have to remember that I a...	Hoot Nanny	2	460	Oct 1, 2012 by UK Jane
	A tear away from crying! (Preview) In church yesterday, I realized that I enjoy the experience al-anon speak about being happy and enjoying life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It must have been something the minister was saying, but I thought of my a/a daughter and realized I'm always just a tear from crying, the pain...	Highlyfavored	3	443	Oct 1, 2012 by slogan_jim
	i wanna SCREAM at my son. (poor 13yo granddaughter with sick father) (Preview) i work a decent program. and i am able to detatch fairly easily. i don't really care if my AS is drinking or not. i love him just the same. yesterday my 13yo granddaughter and i went to lunch. her parents separated 8 months ago and she chose to live with dad to take care of him. (god love my daughter-in-...	debhud	9	704	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) HUNGRY: I don't have the time to fulfill even the simplist of needs, and have to do better. I eat Doritos out of the machine for lunch and run all day and realize I haven't drank anything. I am hungry literally, emotionally, and spiritually, and finding very little in my life for me. My work and my kids and...	rehprof	4	990	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Supportive and healthy in a dysfunctional relationship?????How does that work?????? (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic household and I must have told myself a million times that I was never going to marry anyone with a drinking problem....but I did. My husband has tried to quit several times. He isn't physically abusive or anything but I am so bitter because alcohol has been his priority, the par...	LulaMay	2	398	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	You don't support me!!! (Preview) This is a line I used to hear from my ex-A so often...wow. I remember feeling like all I ever did was support him. I was paying his share and was always encouraging him to make a go at whatever hairbrained plan he had for making money (get rich quick schemes instead of ever willing to get a normal job like I...	pinkchip	8	586	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Trials are not meant to make you fall, but to make you fly! (Preview) This was something I read on a blag this morning and it reminded me how I am so much better for my struggles. I know when I get through all this schooling it will be well worth it and I love what I am showing my girls in the midst of it, it is never too late to o for your dreams and soar! Sending you all love and supp...	Breakingfree	5	408	Oct 1, 2012 by Kismet
	afraid to move! (Preview) so it happened... I'm stuck .... AGAIN. working through the program, and doing great I think, with all that came along lately. Really loving myself more, but still: sometimes anger comes back (anger, I discovered during my program, is my 'best friend' that always sticks around, like a shadow...but...	tortuga	5	441	Oct 1, 2012 by Jerry F
	Maintaining Perspective, and Passing The Lesson On (Preview) I'm in the middle of what feels like a crushing financial drama in my life. It has left me feeling very anti-universe, like every time I make the tiniest step of progress forward, something happens and shoves me back about a hundred yards. I know that a very large part of the financial crisis is a resul...	stephaniej	3	335	Oct 1, 2012 by stephaniej
	Surviving vs. Living (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anonId like to share something to anyone willing to listen. I have been doing some thinking about living vs. surviving. Most of my life has been about surviving. People who grow up in healthy, stable households grow...	slogan_jim	4	435	Sep 30, 2012 by slogan_jim
	Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (Preview) Hi, I have just split up with my boyfriend ans am very upset. In seven weeks he has dropped me 5 times. He is a darling in his normal state but when he turns to the second personality he turns in a violent, cruel and ugly being. He is racist, insulting, paranoid, jealeous, possessive,makes up stories such...	shannah	14	710	Sep 30, 2012 by shannah
	Strong enough to stay, Strong enough to leave.... (Preview) One of the great old sayings in Al-Anon is that "Some of us are strong enough to stay, some of us are strong enough to leave", and I couldn't agree more.... I get nervous/anxious on here whenever I see people encourage those who have left their A that "wow, they are so strong", as i...	canadianguy	17	906	Sep 30, 2012 by tortuga
	Lovely day with my sponsor (Preview) Due to my job I haven't been able to make a meeting for the last 2 weeks. My sponsor rang me the other day to ask me if I'd like to go to a convention with her today. I wanted to go but had a lot of chores to do today, so I said I'd let her know then yesterday I had a really bad day so called her up and said yes please....	UK Jane	2	388	Sep 30, 2012 by hotrod
	Dexoting (Preview) A little background, AH admitted to using Meth again this week. This is the second time since rehab. He chose to quit again. I didn't ask him to, but he knows I don't choose to live in that situation. So he's detoxing at home, quitting by himself. Choosing not to get any help, no rehab, no counseling or a...	JAMIE74	18	661	Sep 30, 2012 by JAMIE74
	where love used to live (Preview) Hi All. I'm new to these boards, but not new to this... I started to write a little backstory about myself, and the last ten years with my partner (engaged for the last 3)... but I just don't have the energy to relive it right now. I've been up all night. Things are bad. Really bad. And it would not be unreas...	ladysingstheblues	7	714	Sep 30, 2012 by Diva
	Small miracles (Preview) My alcoholic son, who has a twin brother finally hit his bottom .. the twin brother was enabling his alcoholic brother big time & for over a year whenever he would phone to tell me the horrid stories about how his alcoholic brother hurt him used him, manipulated him, conned him, broke dates, commi...	Icie	6	318	Sep 29, 2012 by UK Jane
	He is approaching the one year anniversary of sobriety (Preview) I have a question about the one year milestone of sobriety. My bf and I have dated nearly 10 months and he is less than a month away from being sober for an entire year. However, instead of our relationship and his behavior improving and growing, he has relapsed into his former self, treating me with di...	teachmath	11	683	Sep 29, 2012 by teachmath
	Support for online meetings (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm on a mission to improve support for our online meetings here on the MIP website alanon chat room. They are often a first port of call for newcomers (and those with disabilities) and it is vital they be kept going. I realise that Summer is a time when people have been on vacation but now the...	Tigger	5	291	Sep 29, 2012 by Tigger
	Love (Preview) My name is slogan_jim. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, around a father who sometimes never loved himself, putting up with his abusive and alcoholic partners, and a mother that was never around, I find I have gathered a very distorted view on what love is. I don't know what it is anymo...	slogan_jim	11	714	Sep 29, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Not altering my mood to "mesh" with another's (Preview) I caught myself at the grocery store this morning planning to "nice it up" with a store cashier when I was picking up a few items. The cashier and I recognize each other and are, for the most part, on friendly terms. She's been working there for years and I've been swinging by during her usual h...	Aloha	5	534	Sep 29, 2012 by tiredtonite
	My Meltdown Yesterday (Preview) Yesterday afternoon I started feeling resentful at my compulsively lying investment partner. As a result I started doing the "Dont's" by sending texts calling him on his broken promises, etc. I was pointing the finger and being accusatory to him. He retaliated, yet promised to send me a...	denro	6	388	Sep 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	Need some emotion prayers. (Preview) Hi everyone I'm a grateful member of al-anon, the A in my life, my partner, she drinks every night. There is a lot of strain - I'm looking for work, my partners mum has been in hospital a bit recently. She's had a couple of bladder infections, last one requiring IV antibiotics. She is 80 and not in great hea...	jitsuka	5	343	Sep 29, 2012 by jitsuka
	face to face (Preview) I went to my first face to face Alanon meeting today. I am glad that I went. It was really a God thing. I was in the part of town where the meeting was, at a friend's and happened to be driving by just minutes before it started, so I pulled in and went! So glad I did. I think I'll keep coming back. Having su...	gracealone	11	477	Sep 29, 2012 by Overcome
	Wondering what "other"people think Worry (Preview) So even as is wrote that subj line, the other part of my brain was saying, "who cares". Buuutttt...Heres what I wonder....my ah is out ..at bar, at friends...2_3 and sometimes more, times per week....me, im home taking care of the home and our child. Hes rarely home for dinner, sometimes ba...	Theoceancalls	9	10667	Sep 29, 2012 by gracealone
	Please your opinion (Preview) For years I have always asked my Grandchildren to make a list for me for Christmas of things they would like as a gift. Out of the list I always bought them one gift for a $100.00 & another one for about $10.00 & a few stocking stuffers. This year I have done the same asked for a list & for them to g...	Icie	14	547	Sep 29, 2012 by Jerry F
	Closure over something bad... (Preview) ...it came out in the paper today... an inquest over my nephew. He died over 18 months ago, the same night our mum died. I recall coming home and then getting told. I went round and was able to comfort his daughter aged 12. The poor kid had lost her dad to a drug overdose, and had lived through a rape an...	DavidG	5	401	Sep 28, 2012 by Icie
	This Disease has No Age Limit! :( (Preview) Howdy MIP Family :0) This Past Week I got to spend some Really Nice Quality Time with My 88 Year old AGrandma! As Some Know I Lost My Afather to this Disease at 58yrs old in 2008. Well this is His Momma! She calls me on the Phone out of the blue one day & states my Aunt is Leaving town for a couple day (She st...	Jozie	4	583	Sep 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Pregnant and married to an alcoholic husband (Preview) Hi my name is Yvette I've been married to an alcoholic for 2 years. I'm currently pregnant and at the early stage of pregnancy. In the early part of this year around January, I wanted to leave my husband because of his abuse while being intoxicated. He would verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse...	Yvette	5	601	Sep 29, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Must work on saying NO (Preview) Dang. I have known this was a problem for me for a LONG time. I do not say no when the boss heaps more work on me. I don't say NO when clients are unreasonably demanding. I let myself get taxed to the breaking point. Aside from coming to these boards in the morning, I haven't had time to do much of anythin...	pinkchip	8	526	Sep 28, 2012 by Pushka
	He Left Yesterday! (Preview) After yet another argument that I Participated in ,he came home threw some things in MY car and said he would bring it back tomarrow as he WAS working on the brakes and the part he needed wouldn't be in until today! I don't believe him, because it sure looked like he had brakes when he went out the driveway....	sisdragonfly1957	5	457	Sep 28, 2012 by Diva
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.