Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lostandhurt33 · lostandhurt33

My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...

Barbiegirl · Barbiegirl

sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...

Sam813 · Sam813

He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...

Pushka · Pushka

It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...

serenityseeker444 · serenityseeker444

Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...

rellik · rellik

Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...

rellik · rellik

I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...

Chaya · Chaya

Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.

tortuga · tortuga

I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...

rellik · rellik

Funny how you can strain your mind and soul to get understanding then out of the blue it just kind of hits you. My 15 yr old daughter asked me why mommy still wants to drink after everything that has been done and going to rehab. I was trying to find a way to explain it so she would understand and SMACK!!! I end...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, I developed a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and jealousy. This has expressed itself in various ways, with one of them being sarcasm. This has lead to a lot of awkwa...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I've posted here before, Tried to get into chat on Friday, wll try again tonight. Not sure how much longer I will have Internet. I would love to/need to get to a f/f meeting. We only have one car and it has no brakes. I am up to my neck in addicts. My a b/f, my room mate. B/F sells so we have ALL kinds of people com...

Icie · Icie

I went to Al anon many years ago to sober up my alcoholic H I soon found out I was there for my own healing & it worked wonders I was able to make wise calm decisions, not re-act like a crazy person. I was working the 12 steps life was peaceful. I divorced my alcoholic, he totally disappeared out of our liv...

Icie · Icie

Anyone here on face Book ? The reason I ask I need to know if I did wrong. I am on face-book with only family, so we can all stay in touch. My Daughter in law that has a drinking & prescription problem accused me of stealing, because I took a few pictures of her kids, my grandchildren & put them on my...

Diva · Diva

He made the choice to stop into the liquor store. He made the choice to say to himself, "I'll have just one." He made the choice to ignore my pleas that he stop the process of killing himself and destroying our relationship. The choice was his and he chose the booze and the pills. I belie...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I guess I'm yammering away here tonight. A lot of inside changes. Learning to own my power. When I throw my honesty away for others and people-please away my discomfort that someone is manipulating me or crossing my boundaries, I end up in a self-resentment which is the worst kind of resentment. But th...

Chaya · Chaya

Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...

rellik · rellik

I have tried to go to al-anon meetings. but I always end up the only male at the meetings. I don't like to be codled or nurtured. I feel uncomfortable. I actually had a more comfortable and helpful time at a CMA meeting than any of the al-anon meetings. I just want to find someone who I can relate with. Is i...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Here are some things I love (that have nothing to do with AH) Music - from the Beatles to Lady Gaga, driving in the car, radio up high, singing my guts out My weekly TV shows, I love looking forward to a new episode A clean house Laughing with my coworkers Sunday morning paper with a big cup of coffee ,...

rellik · rellik

What can i say? This place is great. Im having a good day. I feel at peace and have some confidence in myself again. I just wanted to share a big thank you to this site and all who contribute. I fear tomorrow i most likely will be hung up on something and loosing my mind again

TODAY IS GOOD! And i ask that you...

halfwaytree · halfwaytree

Hi everyone. I'm so happy to have found this site. My story is fairly recent. I know a woman who overcame her addiction to substance abuse (not alcohol). She seeked help and with the help of her family she had things under control. To make a long strory short, I moved in with her to a nice appartment in a nic...

rellik · rellik

AW 12 year relationship 6 year marriage. She just got back from rehab two weeks ago. She went to rehab cuz I was done, told her to leave and our marriage was over. Now that she is back home and guess what??? still drinking. I try to end it try to leave. I just can't. I feel pathetic and weak. Before rehab I lost...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hey, it's Allie. I fear I may have been very melodramatic in my sharing and I am still very very new to Alanon. Yes, I qualify. But I never qualified to share. Not yet. I need to listen and learn and act before I share again. I will attend lots of meetings and read on here. So, if I don't share at meetings or on...

lislib · lislib

My daughter is a alcoholic with two children she doesn't have custody of. I have enabled her all of her life by taking care of her problems and not letting her grow up. I can't let her come to my house anymore to see her son on the weekends that were hers because of her drinking and temper. Now I have a he...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...

orchidlover · orchidlover

My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...

redacted · redacted

Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...

denro · denro

I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...

gracealone · gracealone

Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...

Sam813 · Sam813

Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen

Wanderer · Wanderer

RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...

Sam813 · Sam813

First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...

Jozie · Jozie

1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...

holivex · holivex

AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...

holivex · holivex

In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...

Pushka · Pushka

It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/

nyc018 · nyc018

So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...

TinaMalaty · TinaMalaty

Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...

John · John

The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...

JJ21 · JJ21

I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...

Pushka · Pushka

I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...

Chaya · Chaya

I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Husband has chosen alcohol over me (Preview) My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...	lostandhurt33	5	5239	Oct 11, 2012 by In my head
	can't believe I'm back after 20 years (Preview) sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem	Barbiegirl	9	542	Oct 11, 2012 by Aloha
	Random sharing :s (Preview) Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...	slogan_jim	5	594	Oct 10, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling Positive (Preview) He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...	Sam813	5	519	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hp in all things .. (Preview) It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...	Pushka	7	578	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Input needed please..staying grounded during family crisis number 9001 (Preview) Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...	serenityseeker444	4	519	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	MIP is all i have keeping me sane right now. (Preview) Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...	rellik	6	480	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	God's will God's way (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...	rellik	9	631	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	Sponsor question (Preview) Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...	Chaya	6	509	Oct 10, 2012 by Chaya
	so, so tired of it (Preview) I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...	stephaniej	12	644	Oct 9, 2012 by stephaniej
	Gratitude, Canadian Style (Preview) Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.	Wolfie55	11	539	Oct 10, 2012 by likemyheart
	loving.hope.life. (Preview) I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...	tortuga	1	312	Oct 10, 2012 by NovSun
	My alcoholic husband tells me I need Al-Anon (Preview) I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...	decgirl1973	8	651	Oct 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Talking to daughter helped me. (Preview) Funny how you can strain your mind and soul to get understanding then out of the blue it just kind of hits you. My 15 yr old daughter asked me why mommy still wants to drink after everything that has been done and going to rehab. I was trying to find a way to explain it so she would understand and SMACK!!! I end...	rellik	4	485	Oct 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	I feel like I have a lot of damage to undo. (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, I developed a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and jealousy. This has expressed itself in various ways, with one of them being sarcasm. This has lead to a lot of awkwa...	slogan_jim	6	577	Oct 9, 2012 by tiredtonite
	I am so Lost, I feel there is NO Way OUT!!! (Preview) I've posted here before, Tried to get into chat on Friday, wll try again tonight. Not sure how much longer I will have Internet. I would love to/need to get to a f/f meeting. We only have one car and it has no brakes. I am up to my neck in addicts. My a b/f, my room mate. B/F sells so we have ALL kinds of people com...	sisdragonfly1957	3	505	Oct 9, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Sick & tired of being sick & tired (Preview) I went to Al anon many years ago to sober up my alcoholic H I soon found out I was there for my own healing & it worked wonders I was able to make wise calm decisions, not re-act like a crazy person. I was working the 12 steps life was peaceful. I divorced my alcoholic, he totally disappeared out of our liv...	Icie	3	523	Oct 8, 2012 by Icie
	Facebook question (Preview) Anyone here on face Book ? The reason I ask I need to know if I did wrong. I am on face-book with only family, so we can all stay in touch. My Daughter in law that has a drinking & prescription problem accused me of stealing, because I took a few pictures of her kids, my grandchildren & put them on my...	Icie	8	1049	Oct 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Diva still doesn't understand (Preview) He made the choice to stop into the liquor store. He made the choice to say to himself, "I'll have just one." He made the choice to ignore my pleas that he stop the process of killing himself and destroying our relationship. The choice was his and he chose the booze and the pills. I belie...	Diva	19	729	Oct 8, 2012 by Maiasaura
	A Thought to Lessen Codependent Guilt (Preview) I guess I'm yammering away here tonight. A lot of inside changes. Learning to own my power. When I throw my honesty away for others and people-please away my discomfort that someone is manipulating me or crossing my boundaries, I end up in a self-resentment which is the worst kind of resentment. But th...	WorkingThroughIt	11	754	Oct 8, 2012 by LulaMay
	Sponsor question (Preview) Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...	Chaya	1	280	Oct 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why are male sponsors so rare? (Preview) I have tried to go to al-anon meetings. but I always end up the only male at the meetings. I don't like to be codled or nurtured. I feel uncomfortable. I actually had a more comfortable and helpful time at a CMA meeting than any of the al-anon meetings. I just want to find someone who I can relate with. Is i...	rellik	8	746	Oct 8, 2012 by canadianguy
	Things I Love (Preview) Here are some things I love (that have nothing to do with AH) Music - from the Beatles to Lady Gaga, driving in the car, radio up high, singing my guts out My weekly TV shows, I love looking forward to a new episode A clean house Laughing with my coworkers Sunday morning paper with a big cup of coffee ,...	TrudyS85	11	679	Oct 8, 2012 by rellik
	Flip flop bounce around (Preview) What can i say? This place is great. Im having a good day. I feel at peace and have some confidence in myself again. I just wanted to share a big thank you to this site and all who contribute. I fear tomorrow i most likely will be hung up on something and loosing my mind again TODAY IS GOOD! And i ask that you...	rellik	4	567	Oct 8, 2012 by rellik
	First Post (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm so happy to have found this site. My story is fairly recent. I know a woman who overcame her addiction to substance abuse (not alcohol). She seeked help and with the help of her family she had things under control. To make a long strory short, I moved in with her to a nice appartment in a nic...	halfwaytree	2	444	Oct 8, 2012 by Zimmy
	Why can't I just leave!!! (Preview) AW 12 year relationship 6 year marriage. She just got back from rehab two weeks ago. She went to rehab cuz I was done, told her to leave and our marriage was over. Now that she is back home and guess what??? still drinking. I try to end it try to leave. I just can't. I feel pathetic and weak. Before rehab I lost...	rellik	8	641	Oct 8, 2012 by Kate123
	Making a "listening and learning" commitment listening talking the cotton out of my ears (Preview) Hey, it's Allie. I fear I may have been very melodramatic in my sharing and I am still very very new to Alanon. Yes, I qualify. But I never qualified to share. Not yet. I need to listen and learn and act before I share again. I will attend lots of meetings and read on here. So, if I don't share at meetings or on...	AllieinAlanon	6	1122	Oct 7, 2012 by NovSun
	Stuck and worried (Preview) My daughter is a alcoholic with two children she doesn't have custody of. I have enabled her all of her life by taking care of her problems and not letting her grow up. I can't let her come to my house anymore to see her son on the weekends that were hers because of her drinking and temper. Now I have a he...	lislib	1	355	Oct 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	Self-Care - What is it? (Preview) Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.	WorkingThroughIt	12	1637	Oct 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Bargaining? (Preview) Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...	NovSun	6	683	Oct 7, 2012 by NovSun
	Being a team player and people pleasing. (Preview) My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...	orchidlover	5	762	Oct 7, 2012 by Katy
	Do They know What They're Doing? (Preview) My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...	WorkingThroughIt	8	726	Oct 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Yup...out again...friend died (Preview) So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...	Theoceancalls	2	496	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Intro and questions. (Preview) Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...	redacted	8	549	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	What's an STBAX? (Preview) I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!	denro	4	655	Oct 7, 2012 by Pushka
	A Great Meeting and Fellowship with the other side (Preview) I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...	tiredtonite	6	502	Oct 6, 2012 by UK Jane
	harassement (Preview) Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...	gracealone	8	579	Oct 6, 2012 by re
	Hard Day (Preview) Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...	Sam813	7	635	Oct 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Big Changes Coming (Preview) I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	438	Oct 6, 2012 by rehprof
	Trying to Stay Focused (Preview) So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...	Green Eyes	7	672	Oct 6, 2012 by Pushka
	prayers needed (Preview) Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	403	Oct 6, 2012 by pineapple
	feeling crummy today... (Preview) RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...	Wanderer	6	538	Oct 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	The Moving Truck Just Left (Preview) Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...	TrudyS85	7	806	Oct 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I have some questions, I'm confused (Preview) First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...	Sam813	10	900	Oct 6, 2012 by Sam813
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! UPDATE... (Preview) 1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...	Jozie	1	591	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	So guess who called me from the hospital? (Preview) AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...	holivex	3	560	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why can't I do this?? (Preview) So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...	JAMIE74	11	604	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Feel Like A Fool - But Why (Preview) Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...	TrudyS85	8	787	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! (Preview) Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...	Jozie	5	574	Oct 5, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Need insight - how can it not be a choice? (Preview) In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...	holivex	16	720	Oct 5, 2012 by PP
	Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly .. (Preview) It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...	Pushka	9	599	Oct 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	TRADITION 12 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/	hotrod	0	334	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
	"When in Doubt, Don't" or Staying Needlessly Stuck? (Preview) So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...	nyc018	8	759	Oct 5, 2012 by tortuga
	Short and not so sweet (Preview) Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...	AllieinAlanon	5	570	Oct 4, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Living with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...	TinaMalaty	8	603	Oct 5, 2012 by TinaMalaty
	The Velveteen Rabbit (Preview) The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...	John	5	713	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Worrying Again!! (Preview) I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...	JJ21	7	553	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Struggling today/ need some ESH (Preview) I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...	ilovedogs	11	709	Oct 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	Alanon Weekend :) (Preview) I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...	Pushka	8	572	Oct 4, 2012 by amills4294
	Relief (Preview) I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...	Chaya	2	529	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.