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The Velveteen Rabbit
(Preview)
The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...
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John
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5
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621
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Worrying Again!!
(Preview)
I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...
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JJ21
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7
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469
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Struggling today/ need some ESH
(Preview)
I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...
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ilovedogs
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11
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621
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Alanon Weekend :)
(Preview)
I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...
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Pushka
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8
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485
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Relief
(Preview)
I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...
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Chaya
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2
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435
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Questions about Rehab
(Preview)
Hi, I have not been active on this site for almost a year now. Shame on me. I got married last Fall and thought he would change. Of course he didn't. Our first year of marriage, much like the 2 years we dated before that, have been him drinking in the afternoons before I get home from work, then trying to...
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NovSun
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9
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570
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Broken and confused
(Preview)
Hello all, I posted on here once about my boyfriend who is an alcoholic; we are both 31. I have been with him for 6 years. Basically, it has been an on and off reltionship for many reasons (lying, not working, hanging out with friends all day and night, verbal abuse, crazy behavior and cheating). I ha...
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Gingerbread81
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14
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574
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One month
(Preview)
It's been one month and one day since my A (nowX) left. It seems like this was the best thing for both of us. He is doing much better now. Says he hasn't had a drink since he's been gone and I believe him. He's getting counseling, eating again, getting his health back. I had a tough go of it for the first coupl...
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pineapple
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5
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281
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Frustrated and not sure if I should be...
(Preview)
My family member is an alcoholic. He is making his second attempt at sobriety. He is 36 days sober. His wife, however, is frustrating me and maybe I am wrong. Here's why I'm frustrated and on the verge of angry...after his 1st attempt, at about 30-40 days, she asked him if he would mind if she drank som...
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Strawberry
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6
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450
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Why, why, why do I still have feelings for this man?
(Preview)
My AH called me over the weekend and left a message on my answering machine. Told me that he had called our health insurance company to see about getting back into treatment (this would be the third time in two and a half months) and it 'wasn't looking good." I knew that was a lie, they would never t...
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holivex
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9
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544
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Chat room access
(Preview)
Hi folks...it seems there may be a problem with people being able to access the chat room from their computers, which may be accounting for falling numbers. PLEASE as a HUGE favour to the community could anyone who reads this try to access the room at this link http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom...
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Tigger
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4
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327
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First Meeting Today
(Preview)
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that encouraged me to go. I was very nervous but within minutes I felt safe and welcomed. One lady shared her story and it hit particularly close to home. I sat there "ugly crying" yet I didn't feel judged.
I'm so glad to finally find a place where...
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Angel14
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6
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308
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Almost easier this time around
(Preview)
AH has slipped out of sobriety. Today drove home buzzed, legally intoxicated I'm sure. This time around I feel like I'll be able to handle it better. He clearly has a problem that I have nothing to do with. My hard boundaries: I won't be around him while he's drunk. I won't allow my kids to be alone wit...
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Hot Chicka
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2
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386
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What in heavens have I been missing?
(Preview)
I have just recently joined this forum and the chat and O MAN have I learned a lot. It is a complete new way of thinking. I guess I am really working on Step 1 and realizing that I am truly powerless. This morning I found my AH passed out in our garage when I woke up to get ready for work. I count on him to watch our...
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LulaMay
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5
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339
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Being Yourself
(Preview)
Anyone read Language of Letting Go Today? It talked about having the courage to be ourselves, a very hard thing for me. A few years ago after going thru the steps it was so easy to have that courage, God protected me, it was amazing. But after making a brief impulsive codependent mistake which the other p...
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WorkingThroughIt
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9
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537
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unsupportive family
(Preview)
My significant other is in rehab, a intensive 30 in patient treatment. My mother and father want me to leave him, they say I'm being selfish to my family and not considering their feelings. THey do not understand that alcoholism is a disease, they are telling me how dare I put them through this and that...
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ejohnson55
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5
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796
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am I too slow or is he too fast to follow?
(Preview)
Dear MIP family, I realize that whatever another person does, it should not affect me in my own decisions or actions. There is this slogan in Al Anon that goes soemwhat like that: 'He is gonna drink or not drink, what are you goanna do?' and it says a lot. But still, today I feel somewhat confused because I...
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tortuga
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5
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555
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Goodbye to flopadopilus
(Preview)
I have found a better nickname for me and where I am at in my growth in Al-anon. Someone once said I am no longer a flop and I must agree. So I will be reregistering and making a new come back. I am wishing everyone much growth in their own programs as well. Here is to turning over a new leaf! Sending you all much...
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flopadopilus
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17
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535
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I totally lost my serenity today
(Preview)
I tried to join the on line Al anon group tonight, but did Not & could not figure out how to change to my nickname ????? I had a really bad day & right now I cannot stop the tears. I am dammed if I do & dammed if I don't. As you know one son is a alcoholic & another son is married to a alcoholic lad...
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Icie
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5
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502
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I'm new here, not sure where to begin
(Preview)
I am in my early 40's and I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We have 2 kids aged 12 and under. My husband blames me for his drinking. Last November, I'd had enough of him being a selfish jerk and told him I wanted a divorce. He was a social drinker back then. Now he says I ruined his life when I told h...
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Angel14
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9
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511
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I miss my brother
(Preview)
The hardest thing about my brother being an addict and homeless is that I miss him terribly. I wish I could see him. I notice myself seeing a homeless person on the street and hoping it was my brother. I just wish I could call him and hear his voice, see him and give him a hug and pray with him. I can't stan...
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Sam813
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2
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589
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Using AA Big Book
(Preview)
Went to an Alanon Big Book Study meeting last night. There was so much recovery in the room it was astounding. All the Alanoners had been through the 12 steps using the Big Book of AA. The honesty and sense of responsibility was awesome. The peace and the power too.
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WorkingThroughIt
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6
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3517
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New to Alanon
(Preview)
Hi, My baby brother is 20, is an addict and has been homeless since my mom kicked him out. Previous to this he was 1 year in AA going to meetings daily. He was doing so well. I haven't slept, ate, or functioned very well since he has been out on the street. My mom is following the alanon approach and are n...
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Sam813
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4
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490
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Moving Day Is Finally Here
(Preview)
Well, it's Monday morning and tomorrow is moving day for my AH. He found an apartment and is doing the big move tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed emotions but still know my decision to separate was the right one. I spent the weekend doing lawn work, for those of you that don't know me you should know I HATE yard...
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TrudyS85
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4
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459
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so, here I am!
(Preview)
Here I am all of me for all of you. I have been super-honest lately. My fear is going back to lying. I have so much to say & always so little time to tell all of you. I have a history of covering the truth. I am always honest on here. But, at home, I sometimes lie; sometimes overtly. I have to remember that I a...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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460
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A tear away from crying!
(Preview)
In church yesterday, I realized that I enjoy the experience al-anon speak about being happy and enjoying life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It must have been something the minister was saying, but I thought of my a/a daughter and realized I'm always just a tear from crying, the pain...
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Highlyfavored
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3
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443
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i wanna SCREAM at my son. (poor 13yo granddaughter with sick father)
(Preview)
i work a decent program. and i am able to detatch fairly easily. i don't really care if my AS is drinking or not. i love him just the same. yesterday my 13yo granddaughter and i went to lunch. her parents separated 8 months ago and she chose to live with dad to take care of him. (god love my daughter-in-...
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debhud
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9
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702
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H.A.L.T.
(Preview)
HUNGRY: I don't have the time to fulfill even the simplist of needs, and have to do better. I eat Doritos out of the machine for lunch and run all day and realize I haven't drank anything. I am hungry literally, emotionally, and spiritually, and finding very little in my life for me. My work and my kids and...
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rehprof
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4
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990
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Supportive and healthy in a dysfunctional relationship?????How does that work??????
(Preview)
I grew up in an alcoholic household and I must have told myself a million times that I was never going to marry anyone with a drinking problem....but I did. My husband has tried to quit several times. He isn't physically abusive or anything but I am so bitter because alcohol has been his priority, the par...
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LulaMay
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2
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398
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You don't support me!!!
(Preview)
This is a line I used to hear from my ex-A so often...wow. I remember feeling like all I ever did was support him. I was paying his share and was always encouraging him to make a go at whatever hairbrained plan he had for making money (get rich quick schemes instead of ever willing to get a normal job like I...
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pinkchip
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8
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586
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Trials are not meant to make you fall, but to make you fly!
(Preview)
This was something I read on a blag this morning and it reminded me how I am so much better for my struggles. I know when I get through all this schooling it will be well worth it and I love what I am showing my girls in the midst of it, it is never too late to o for your dreams and soar! Sending you all love and supp...
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Breakingfree
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5
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407
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afraid to move!
(Preview)
so it happened... I'm stuck .... AGAIN. working through the program, and doing great I think, with all that came along lately. Really loving myself more, but still: sometimes anger comes back (anger, I discovered during my program, is my 'best friend' that always sticks around, like a shadow...but...
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tortuga
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5
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441
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Maintaining Perspective, and Passing The Lesson On
(Preview)
I'm in the middle of what feels like a crushing financial drama in my life. It has left me feeling very anti-universe, like every time I make the tiniest step of progress forward, something happens and shoves me back about a hundred yards. I know that a very large part of the financial crisis is a resul...
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stephaniej
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3
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335
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Surviving vs. Living
(Preview)
Hi, my name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anonId like to share something to anyone willing to listen. I have been doing some thinking about living vs. surviving. Most of my life has been about surviving. People who grow up in healthy, stable households grow...
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slogan_jim
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4
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435
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Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
(Preview)
Hi, I have just split up with my boyfriend ans am very upset. In seven weeks he has dropped me 5 times. He is a darling in his normal state but when he turns to the second personality he turns in a violent, cruel and ugly being. He is racist, insulting, paranoid, jealeous, possessive,makes up stories such...
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shannah
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14
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710
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Strong enough to stay, Strong enough to leave....
(Preview)
One of the great old sayings in Al-Anon is that "Some of us are strong enough to stay, some of us are strong enough to leave", and I couldn't agree more.... I get nervous/anxious on here whenever I see people encourage those who have left their A that "wow, they are so strong", as i...
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canadianguy
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17
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905
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Lovely day with my sponsor
(Preview)
Due to my job I haven't been able to make a meeting for the last 2 weeks. My sponsor rang me the other day to ask me if I'd like to go to a convention with her today. I wanted to go but had a lot of chores to do today, so I said I'd let her know then yesterday I had a really bad day so called her up and said yes please....
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UK Jane
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2
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388
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Dexoting
(Preview)
A little background, AH admitted to using Meth again this week. This is the second time since rehab. He chose to quit again. I didn't ask him to, but he knows I don't choose to live in that situation. So he's detoxing at home, quitting by himself. Choosing not to get any help, no rehab, no counseling or a...
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JAMIE74
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18
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661
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where love used to live
(Preview)
Hi All. I'm new to these boards, but not new to this... I started to write a little backstory about myself, and the last ten years with my partner (engaged for the last 3)... but I just don't have the energy to relive it right now. I've been up all night. Things are bad. Really bad. And it would not be unreas...
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ladysingstheblues
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7
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714
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Small miracles
(Preview)
My alcoholic son, who has a twin brother finally hit his bottom .. the twin brother was enabling his alcoholic brother big time & for over a year whenever he would phone to tell me the horrid stories about how his alcoholic brother hurt him used him, manipulated him, conned him, broke dates, commi...
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Icie
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6
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318
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He is approaching the one year anniversary of sobriety
(Preview)
I have a question about the one year milestone of sobriety. My bf and I have dated nearly 10 months and he is less than a month away from being sober for an entire year. However, instead of our relationship and his behavior improving and growing, he has relapsed into his former self, treating me with di...
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teachmath
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11
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683
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Support for online meetings
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm on a mission to improve support for our online meetings here on the MIP website alanon chat room. They are often a first port of call for newcomers (and those with disabilities) and it is vital they be kept going. I realise that Summer is a time when people have been on vacation but now the...
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Tigger
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5
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291
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Love
(Preview)
My name is slogan_jim.
Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, around a father who sometimes never loved himself, putting up with his abusive and alcoholic partners, and a mother that was never around, I find I have gathered a very distorted view on what love is.
I don't know what it is anymo...
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slogan_jim
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11
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713
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Not altering my mood to "mesh" with another's
(Preview)
I caught myself at the grocery store this morning planning to "nice it up" with a store cashier when I was picking up a few items. The cashier and I recognize each other and are, for the most part, on friendly terms. She's been working there for years and I've been swinging by during her usual h...
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Aloha
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5
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534
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My Meltdown Yesterday
(Preview)
Yesterday afternoon I started feeling resentful at my compulsively lying investment partner. As a result I started doing the "Dont's" by sending texts calling him on his broken promises, etc. I was pointing the finger and being accusatory to him. He retaliated, yet promised to send me a...
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denro
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6
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388
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Need some emotion prayers.
(Preview)
Hi everyone I'm a grateful member of al-anon, the A in my life, my partner, she drinks every night. There is a lot of strain - I'm looking for work, my partners mum has been in hospital a bit recently. She's had a couple of bladder infections, last one requiring IV antibiotics. She is 80 and not in great hea...
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jitsuka
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5
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343
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face to face
(Preview)
I went to my first face to face Alanon meeting today. I am glad that I went. It was really a God thing. I was in the part of town where the meeting was, at a friend's and happened to be driving by just minutes before it started, so I pulled in and went! So glad I did. I think I'll keep coming back. Having su...
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gracealone
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11
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477
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Wondering what "other"people think
(Preview)
So even as is wrote that subj line, the other part of my brain was saying, "who cares". Buuutttt...Heres what I wonder....my ah is out ..at bar, at friends...2_3 and sometimes more, times per week....me, im home taking care of the home and our child. Hes rarely home for dinner, sometimes ba...
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Theoceancalls
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9
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10454
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Please your opinion
(Preview)
For years I have always asked my Grandchildren to make a list for me for Christmas of things they would like as a gift. Out of the list I always bought them one gift for a $100.00 & another one for about $10.00 & a few stocking stuffers. This year I have done the same asked for a list & for them to g...
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Icie
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14
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547
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Closure over something bad...
(Preview)
...it came out in the paper today... an inquest over my nephew.
He died over 18 months ago, the same night our mum died.
I recall coming home and then getting told. I went round and
was able to comfort his daughter aged 12. The poor kid had
lost her dad to a drug overdose, and had lived through a rape
an...
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DavidG
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5
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401
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This Disease has No Age Limit! :(
(Preview)
Howdy MIP Family :0) This Past Week I got to spend some Really Nice Quality Time with My 88 Year old AGrandma! As Some Know I Lost My Afather to this Disease at 58yrs old in 2008. Well this is His Momma! She calls me on the Phone out of the blue one day & states my Aunt is Leaving town for a couple day (She st...
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Jozie
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4
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583
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Pregnant and married to an alcoholic husband
(Preview)
Hi my name is Yvette I've been married to an alcoholic for 2 years. I'm currently pregnant and at the early stage of pregnancy. In the early part of this year around January, I wanted to leave my husband because of his abuse while being intoxicated. He would verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse...
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Yvette
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5
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600
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Must work on saying NO
(Preview)
Dang. I have known this was a problem for me for a LONG time. I do not say no when the boss heaps more work on me. I don't say NO when clients are unreasonably demanding. I let myself get taxed to the breaking point. Aside from coming to these boards in the morning, I haven't had time to do much of anythin...
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pinkchip
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8
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526
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He Left Yesterday!
(Preview)
After yet another argument that I Participated in ,he came home threw some things in MY car and said he would bring it back tomarrow as he WAS working on the brakes and the part he needed wouldn't be in until today! I don't believe him, because it sure looked like he had brakes when he went out the driveway....
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sisdragonfly1957
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5
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457
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Stupid !@#$% chemistry
(Preview)
I say this laughing, but am quite miffed with my chemistry instructor. He is a first year teacher and well can't teach us worth a darn. So our first 3 hour 150 question exam that he swore would be so simple was brutal. Most the class flubbed it and he wrote something about throwing out the last 2 pages of the...
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Breakingfree
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8
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500
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question: where do I find?
(Preview)
Does anyone know where to find the Alanon literature: Alcoholism the 3-fold illness which includes the statements that alcoholism is a physical allergy, a mental obsession & a spiritual malady? I have been wondering about this for years. Early on in my recovery our Alanon group used to read thi...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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376
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Never too old to practice self care
(Preview)
I just wanted to share with you how proud I am of my mom. She took care of herself today. I live far away in another state and at the end of last week she had chest pain and pain in her arm. She likely waited longer than she should have before calling an ambulance. The paramedics came and took care of her and...
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tiredtonite
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5
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629
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Boundaries and Birthday Parties
(Preview)
Hi all! I am new to this board. I am a32 year old adult child of an alcoholic mom, a very co-dependent stepdad, and addict little brother. Becoming a mother has strengthened my resolve to set boundaries against situations that are not healthy. My mom has been on the relapse rollercoaster for 14 y...
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proudmommy47
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2
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484
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Newly pregnant - husband is an active alcoholic.
(Preview)
I am at a complete loss. I feel so alone - more than usual because now I am responsible for a second little person. I just found out I am pregnant and while my husband claims to be thrilled and promises to "be a great dad" he is drinking more than ever. I watch him stumble around the house, slurrin...
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Lola77
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9
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7454
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So Unfair
(Preview)
I know my AH is on very thin ice at the bank where he works and I have just been waiting for him to tell me that he is fired (or in his mind I'm sure he will believe that he quit). I knew he didn't go to work yesterday and I just found out from my son that he didn't go in today either. I am so mad and upset right now but t...
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WornOutMrsFixIt
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7
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701
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