Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

unsure2012 · unsure2012

I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...

Alan66 · Alan66

I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...

ForeverAlanon · ForeverAlanon

Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

In a few days, AH will be leaving for his Costa Rica trip. It's a work related trip where his company puts all the salespeople and their spouses(significant others) up for 5 days in a 5 star hotel. This year it's at the Four Seasons resort, on the west coast of Costa Rica. When the trip was announced las...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I think my wife has an alcohol problem/functioning alcoholic. This has been happening over the last year but the problem has progressed. I don't know how much she drinks but this is what I have seen. She has hidden it from me in the past and lied about it. She claims that its because I "freak out...

hulrich07 · hulrich07

Hi, This is my first time posting. I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, we moved in together after two years. about 9 months ago, he showed me my engagement ring. to make sure i liked it. still hasnt given it to me because shorty after, i kinda discovered that he was addicted to vicodin. he had taken them all th...

Overcome · Overcome

Well, I have effectively done my Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it; for today. But here's a question: How do I make amends to my 89 year old mother, who has moderate Alzheimer's for yelling at her yesterday? She will not remember the incident whe...

Diva · Diva

Some fo you DID say something I have never heard before. I will get to that in a minute. First, thank each and every one of you for your replies. I appreciate them all so very much. I have separated from my partner A. Our living together became impossible because of the terrible resentment, hate, an...

lostandhurt33 · lostandhurt33

My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...

Barbiegirl · Barbiegirl

sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...

Sam813 · Sam813

He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...

Pushka · Pushka

It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...

serenityseeker444 · serenityseeker444

Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...

rellik · rellik

Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...

rellik · rellik

I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...

Chaya · Chaya

Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.

tortuga · tortuga

I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...

decgirl1973 · decgirl1973

I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...

rellik · rellik

Funny how you can strain your mind and soul to get understanding then out of the blue it just kind of hits you. My 15 yr old daughter asked me why mommy still wants to drink after everything that has been done and going to rehab. I was trying to find a way to explain it so she would understand and SMACK!!! I end...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, I developed a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and jealousy. This has expressed itself in various ways, with one of them being sarcasm. This has lead to a lot of awkwa...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I've posted here before, Tried to get into chat on Friday, wll try again tonight. Not sure how much longer I will have Internet. I would love to/need to get to a f/f meeting. We only have one car and it has no brakes. I am up to my neck in addicts. My a b/f, my room mate. B/F sells so we have ALL kinds of people com...

Icie · Icie

I went to Al anon many years ago to sober up my alcoholic H I soon found out I was there for my own healing & it worked wonders I was able to make wise calm decisions, not re-act like a crazy person. I was working the 12 steps life was peaceful. I divorced my alcoholic, he totally disappeared out of our liv...

Icie · Icie

Anyone here on face Book ? The reason I ask I need to know if I did wrong. I am on face-book with only family, so we can all stay in touch. My Daughter in law that has a drinking & prescription problem accused me of stealing, because I took a few pictures of her kids, my grandchildren & put them on my...

Diva · Diva

He made the choice to stop into the liquor store. He made the choice to say to himself, "I'll have just one." He made the choice to ignore my pleas that he stop the process of killing himself and destroying our relationship. The choice was his and he chose the booze and the pills. I belie...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I guess I'm yammering away here tonight. A lot of inside changes. Learning to own my power. When I throw my honesty away for others and people-please away my discomfort that someone is manipulating me or crossing my boundaries, I end up in a self-resentment which is the worst kind of resentment. But th...

Chaya · Chaya

Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...

rellik · rellik

I have tried to go to al-anon meetings. but I always end up the only male at the meetings. I don't like to be codled or nurtured. I feel uncomfortable. I actually had a more comfortable and helpful time at a CMA meeting than any of the al-anon meetings. I just want to find someone who I can relate with. Is i...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Here are some things I love (that have nothing to do with AH) Music - from the Beatles to Lady Gaga, driving in the car, radio up high, singing my guts out My weekly TV shows, I love looking forward to a new episode A clean house Laughing with my coworkers Sunday morning paper with a big cup of coffee ,...

rellik · rellik

What can i say? This place is great. Im having a good day. I feel at peace and have some confidence in myself again. I just wanted to share a big thank you to this site and all who contribute. I fear tomorrow i most likely will be hung up on something and loosing my mind again

TODAY IS GOOD! And i ask that you...

halfwaytree · halfwaytree

Hi everyone. I'm so happy to have found this site. My story is fairly recent. I know a woman who overcame her addiction to substance abuse (not alcohol). She seeked help and with the help of her family she had things under control. To make a long strory short, I moved in with her to a nice appartment in a nic...

rellik · rellik

AW 12 year relationship 6 year marriage. She just got back from rehab two weeks ago. She went to rehab cuz I was done, told her to leave and our marriage was over. Now that she is back home and guess what??? still drinking. I try to end it try to leave. I just can't. I feel pathetic and weak. Before rehab I lost...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hey, it's Allie. I fear I may have been very melodramatic in my sharing and I am still very very new to Alanon. Yes, I qualify. But I never qualified to share. Not yet. I need to listen and learn and act before I share again. I will attend lots of meetings and read on here. So, if I don't share at meetings or on...

lislib · lislib

My daughter is a alcoholic with two children she doesn't have custody of. I have enabled her all of her life by taking care of her problems and not letting her grow up. I can't let her come to my house anymore to see her son on the weekends that were hers because of her drinking and temper. Now I have a he...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...

orchidlover · orchidlover

My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...

redacted · redacted

Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...

denro · denro

I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...

gracealone · gracealone

Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...

Sam813 · Sam813

Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen

Wanderer · Wanderer

RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...

Sam813 · Sam813

First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...

Jozie · Jozie

1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...

holivex · holivex

AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...

holivex · holivex

In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Here I am.... (Preview) I am new to the forum but not new to my codependent way. For several years I went to therapy and I actually believed I was improving. However, I am back at square one. When my husband and I started dating the red flags were all over the place, but I chose to ignore them. I ignored them because he and I had be...	unsure2012	7	703	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	New to this (Preview) I found out 45 days ago that my wife of 21 years is an alcoholic. I always suspected there was a problem going on but couldn't quite put my finger on it. She was a binge drinker, mostly on weekends, who just didn't know when enough was enough. I would try to get her to leave parties when she was drunk but nothi...	Alan66	11	595	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Use it or lose it (Preview) Hi, I first joined alanon ten years ago and it helped me tremendously in some ways, well, in the ways that I applied the program. Like many first time alanoners, I mostly came to whine and complain about my A and hope to get some tips on how to deal with a hopeless A. Well, I did get that in the casual conver...	ForeverAlanon	10	659	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Ready Set...Go!! (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana `O MIP...Good morning MIP Family...The day has started her on Moku Keawe...The Big Island of Hawaii...much later than many of you and then it's here. Puppers have been walked and the Pinch let out so she can get in her pool. My laughs start with them. The wild birds have been fe...	Jerry F	5	504	Oct 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	Been Dreading It & Today Was The Day (Preview) Got a call from my AH's boss today @ 4pm. She said that he had failed an alcohol test. They had asked him to have someone pick him up from work but he drove off so the bank attorney's said they had to notify the police. She called me, not knowing that we have been separated for 2 months now, to see if he had mad...	WornOutMrsFixIt	11	725	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Sad, but proud of myself, too (Preview) In a few days, AH will be leaving for his Costa Rica trip. It's a work related trip where his company puts all the salespeople and their spouses(significant others) up for 5 days in a 5 star hotel. This year it's at the Four Seasons resort, on the west coast of Costa Rica. When the trip was announced las...	ilovedogs	8	625	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Unfamiliar territory (Preview) I think my wife has an alcohol problem/functioning alcoholic. This has been happening over the last year but the problem has progressed. I don't know how much she drinks but this is what I have seen. She has hidden it from me in the past and lied about it. She claims that its because I "freak out...	hdftby100	9	585	Oct 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Help ): (Preview) Hi, This is my first time posting. I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, we moved in together after two years. about 9 months ago, he showed me my engagement ring. to make sure i liked it. still hasnt given it to me because shorty after, i kinda discovered that he was addicted to vicodin. he had taken them all th...	hulrich07	9	668	Oct 11, 2012 by hulrich07
	How do you make amends to someone with Alzheimer's? (Preview) Well, I have effectively done my Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it; for today. But here's a question: How do I make amends to my 89 year old mother, who has moderate Alzheimer's for yelling at her yesterday? She will not remember the incident whe...	Overcome	7	546	Oct 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	I think Diva finally understands and accepts. (Preview) Some fo you DID say something I have never heard before. I will get to that in a minute. First, thank each and every one of you for your replies. I appreciate them all so very much. I have separated from my partner A. Our living together became impossible because of the terrible resentment, hate, an...	Diva	9	597	Oct 11, 2012 by Debilyn
	Husband has chosen alcohol over me (Preview) My husband has always been a heavy drinker and it didn't bother me much when we were dating because his behavior didn't get out of control. Near the time we got married he was prescribed xanax and I suspect he has been abusing the two together. Long story short several angry/violent outbursts are vario...	lostandhurt33	5	5329	Oct 11, 2012 by In my head
	can't believe I'm back after 20 years (Preview) sometimes life just doesn't make sense. My husband and I met 25 years ago in Alanon. We left after a few years, made a decision not to drink because of the trouble caused by the alcoholics in our families. We raised a family only to have my 20-something son now with a drinking problem	Barbiegirl	9	558	Oct 11, 2012 by Aloha
	Random sharing :s (Preview) Hi,My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.This weekend, I have been invited to 2 events. One is a birthday party at a nightclub. The other is over at a male friends house to watch the fight. Sometimes I dont truly realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life who have...	slogan_jim	5	612	Oct 10, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling Positive (Preview) He everyone, I just thought that I would share with you all how I am doing recently. I feel that going to meetings has really helped me let go of guilt, fear, and control. I am now able to accept this situation and know that I am powerless over it. Although I miss my A brother, I am choosing to take care of m...	Sam813	5	533	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Hp in all things .. (Preview) It's Tuesday .. LOL .. it's been a great weekend. The kids were out of school since Wednesday of last week and we had a blast. Over the weekend my son had his first sleep over and this was actually a big deal because I was terrified for a number of reasons. Probably the biggest one being I'm just not a dome...	Pushka	7	589	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Input needed please..staying grounded during family crisis number 9001 (Preview) Finally got the nerve up to do this online connection for SUPPORT..GOT TO FILE LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND GET RESTAINING ORDERS AND IT IS SO FRUSTRATING TO HAVE TO DO THIS DEALING WITH MY OWN FAMILY..THEIR ADDICTION IS KICKING AND THEY CONTINUE TO HARRASS ME..CALLING ME AT HOME AT WORK AND SHOWING UP AT MY HOM...	serenityseeker444	4	536	Oct 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	MIP is all i have keeping me sane right now. (Preview) Ok its hard to stay sane right now. AW left for meeting 7:45 with serious urges to drink. She txtd me at 9:45 P.M. Said she still had urge to drink and was going to stick around and chat. I have been reading back through posts ever since. Its now 12:45 A.M. I'm still at home (not driving around looking for her...	rellik	6	503	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	God's will God's way (Preview) I had a great f2f meeting at lunch today. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm honestly not on the steps. I have finally accepted step 1. so i guess I'm on step 2 but still grasping a straws without a sponsor to keep me focused. So obviously I'm not on step 4 but I had a revelation this weekend that I just have to s...	rellik	9	646	Oct 10, 2012 by Zimmy
	Sponsor question (Preview) Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...	Chaya	6	520	Oct 10, 2012 by Chaya
	so, so tired of it (Preview) I am so sick of being told I am a bad person. No, it's not a situation where I am made to FEEL like a bad person because of things he says to me. He actually tells me "you're a terrible person." I KNOW it's not true. But I am sick of hearing it. I'm sick of being called names, and yelled at, and al...	stephaniej	12	658	Oct 9, 2012 by stephaniej
	Gratitude, Canadian Style (Preview) Its Thanksgiving in Canada. So if you live in Canada, Happy Thanksgiving. Have a great day and remember to say thank you to everyone you meet. oh and one more thing. Thank you.	Wolfie55	11	550	Oct 10, 2012 by likemyheart
	loving.hope.life. (Preview) I have been reading this and I liked it so much, I just felt like sharing with you lot: 'Look at your life. Look at the ways in which you define who you are and what you're capable of achieving. Look at your goals. Look at the pressures applied by the people around you and the culture in which you were raised...	tortuga	1	325	Oct 10, 2012 by NovSun
	My alcoholic husband tells me I need Al-Anon (Preview) I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father and he still drinks. 15 years ago I married an alcoholic. My husband has been sober for 5 years but there's a lot of wreckage left from the 10 years of drinking. I still have anger primarily with the face that he never made amends to me. I saw him write several l...	decgirl1973	8	661	Oct 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	Talking to daughter helped me. (Preview) Funny how you can strain your mind and soul to get understanding then out of the blue it just kind of hits you. My 15 yr old daughter asked me why mommy still wants to drink after everything that has been done and going to rehab. I was trying to find a way to explain it so she would understand and SMACK!!! I end...	rellik	4	497	Oct 9, 2012 by pinkchip
	I feel like I have a lot of damage to undo. (Preview) Hi, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of Al-Anon. Over the years growing up in an alcoholic home, I developed a lot of hurt, anger, resentment and jealousy. This has expressed itself in various ways, with one of them being sarcasm. This has lead to a lot of awkwa...	slogan_jim	6	588	Oct 9, 2012 by tiredtonite
	I am so Lost, I feel there is NO Way OUT!!! (Preview) I've posted here before, Tried to get into chat on Friday, wll try again tonight. Not sure how much longer I will have Internet. I would love to/need to get to a f/f meeting. We only have one car and it has no brakes. I am up to my neck in addicts. My a b/f, my room mate. B/F sells so we have ALL kinds of people com...	sisdragonfly1957	3	517	Oct 9, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Sick & tired of being sick & tired (Preview) I went to Al anon many years ago to sober up my alcoholic H I soon found out I was there for my own healing & it worked wonders I was able to make wise calm decisions, not re-act like a crazy person. I was working the 12 steps life was peaceful. I divorced my alcoholic, he totally disappeared out of our liv...	Icie	3	538	Oct 8, 2012 by Icie
	Facebook question (Preview) Anyone here on face Book ? The reason I ask I need to know if I did wrong. I am on face-book with only family, so we can all stay in touch. My Daughter in law that has a drinking & prescription problem accused me of stealing, because I took a few pictures of her kids, my grandchildren & put them on my...	Icie	8	1070	Oct 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Diva still doesn't understand (Preview) He made the choice to stop into the liquor store. He made the choice to say to himself, "I'll have just one." He made the choice to ignore my pleas that he stop the process of killing himself and destroying our relationship. The choice was his and he chose the booze and the pills. I belie...	Diva	19	746	Oct 8, 2012 by Maiasaura
	A Thought to Lessen Codependent Guilt (Preview) I guess I'm yammering away here tonight. A lot of inside changes. Learning to own my power. When I throw my honesty away for others and people-please away my discomfort that someone is manipulating me or crossing my boundaries, I end up in a self-resentment which is the worst kind of resentment. But th...	WorkingThroughIt	11	770	Oct 8, 2012 by LulaMay
	Sponsor question (Preview) Hello everyone. Haven't visited for a while. MIP really saved me in those first 30 days and now I mainly get my support through face to face meetings and peers in meetings. I am back because I am having concerns about the relationship with my sponsor. I read some prior threads on here which helped a bit to...	Chaya	1	295	Oct 8, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why are male sponsors so rare? (Preview) I have tried to go to al-anon meetings. but I always end up the only male at the meetings. I don't like to be codled or nurtured. I feel uncomfortable. I actually had a more comfortable and helpful time at a CMA meeting than any of the al-anon meetings. I just want to find someone who I can relate with. Is i...	rellik	8	760	Oct 8, 2012 by canadianguy
	Things I Love (Preview) Here are some things I love (that have nothing to do with AH) Music - from the Beatles to Lady Gaga, driving in the car, radio up high, singing my guts out My weekly TV shows, I love looking forward to a new episode A clean house Laughing with my coworkers Sunday morning paper with a big cup of coffee ,...	TrudyS85	11	694	Oct 8, 2012 by rellik
	Flip flop bounce around (Preview) What can i say? This place is great. Im having a good day. I feel at peace and have some confidence in myself again. I just wanted to share a big thank you to this site and all who contribute. I fear tomorrow i most likely will be hung up on something and loosing my mind again TODAY IS GOOD! And i ask that you...	rellik	4	584	Oct 8, 2012 by rellik
	First Post (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm so happy to have found this site. My story is fairly recent. I know a woman who overcame her addiction to substance abuse (not alcohol). She seeked help and with the help of her family she had things under control. To make a long strory short, I moved in with her to a nice appartment in a nic...	halfwaytree	2	459	Oct 8, 2012 by Zimmy
	Why can't I just leave!!! (Preview) AW 12 year relationship 6 year marriage. She just got back from rehab two weeks ago. She went to rehab cuz I was done, told her to leave and our marriage was over. Now that she is back home and guess what??? still drinking. I try to end it try to leave. I just can't. I feel pathetic and weak. Before rehab I lost...	rellik	8	657	Oct 8, 2012 by Kate123
	Making a "listening and learning" commitment listening talking the cotton out of my ears (Preview) Hey, it's Allie. I fear I may have been very melodramatic in my sharing and I am still very very new to Alanon. Yes, I qualify. But I never qualified to share. Not yet. I need to listen and learn and act before I share again. I will attend lots of meetings and read on here. So, if I don't share at meetings or on...	AllieinAlanon	6	1162	Oct 7, 2012 by NovSun
	Stuck and worried (Preview) My daughter is a alcoholic with two children she doesn't have custody of. I have enabled her all of her life by taking care of her problems and not letting her grow up. I can't let her come to my house anymore to see her son on the weekends that were hers because of her drinking and temper. Now I have a he...	lislib	1	369	Oct 7, 2012 by Jerry F
	Self-Care - What is it? (Preview) Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.	WorkingThroughIt	12	1665	Oct 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Bargaining? (Preview) Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...	NovSun	6	698	Oct 7, 2012 by NovSun
	Being a team player and people pleasing. (Preview) My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...	orchidlover	5	780	Oct 7, 2012 by Katy
	Do They know What They're Doing? (Preview) My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...	WorkingThroughIt	8	740	Oct 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Yup...out again...friend died (Preview) So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...	Theoceancalls	2	512	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Intro and questions. (Preview) Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...	redacted	8	563	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	What's an STBAX? (Preview) I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!	denro	4	673	Oct 7, 2012 by Pushka
	A Great Meeting and Fellowship with the other side (Preview) I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...	tiredtonite	6	517	Oct 6, 2012 by UK Jane
	harassement (Preview) Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...	gracealone	8	595	Oct 6, 2012 by re
	Hard Day (Preview) Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...	Sam813	7	654	Oct 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Big Changes Coming (Preview) I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	457	Oct 6, 2012 by rehprof
	Trying to Stay Focused (Preview) So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...	Green Eyes	7	688	Oct 6, 2012 by Pushka
	prayers needed (Preview) Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	417	Oct 6, 2012 by pineapple
	feeling crummy today... (Preview) RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...	Wanderer	6	554	Oct 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	The Moving Truck Just Left (Preview) Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...	TrudyS85	7	824	Oct 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I have some questions, I'm confused (Preview) First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...	Sam813	10	915	Oct 6, 2012 by Sam813
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! UPDATE... (Preview) 1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...	Jozie	1	606	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	So guess who called me from the hospital? (Preview) AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...	holivex	3	576	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why can't I do this?? (Preview) So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...	JAMIE74	11	618	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Feel Like A Fool - But Why (Preview) Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...	TrudyS85	8	801	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! (Preview) Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...	Jozie	5	588	Oct 5, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Need insight - how can it not be a choice? (Preview) In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...	holivex	16	735	Oct 5, 2012 by PP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.