Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...

orchidlover · orchidlover

My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...

redacted · redacted

Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...

denro · denro

I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...

gracealone · gracealone

Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...

Sam813 · Sam813

Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen

Wanderer · Wanderer

RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...

Sam813 · Sam813

First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...

Jozie · Jozie

1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...

holivex · holivex

AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...

holivex · holivex

In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...

Pushka · Pushka

It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/

nyc018 · nyc018

So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...

TinaMalaty · TinaMalaty

Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...

John · John

The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...

JJ21 · JJ21

I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...

Pushka · Pushka

I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...

Chaya · Chaya

I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi, I have not been active on this site for almost a year now. Shame on me. I got married last Fall and thought he would change. Of course he didn't. Our first year of marriage, much like the 2 years we dated before that, have been him drinking in the afternoons before I get home from work, then trying to...

Gingerbread81 · Gingerbread81

Hello all, I posted on here once about my boyfriend who is an alcoholic; we are both 31. I have been with him for 6 years. Basically, it has been an on and off reltionship for many reasons (lying, not working, hanging out with friends all day and night, verbal abuse, crazy behavior and cheating). I ha...

pineapple · pineapple

It's been one month and one day since my A (nowX) left. It seems like this was the best thing for both of us. He is doing much better now. Says he hasn't had a drink since he's been gone and I believe him. He's getting counseling, eating again, getting his health back. I had a tough go of it for the first coupl...

Strawberry · Strawberry

My family member is an alcoholic. He is making his second attempt at sobriety. He is 36 days sober. His wife, however, is frustrating me and maybe I am wrong. Here's why I'm frustrated and on the verge of angry...after his 1st attempt, at about 30-40 days, she asked him if he would mind if she drank som...

holivex · holivex

My AH called me over the weekend and left a message on my answering machine. Told me that he had called our health insurance company to see about getting back into treatment (this would be the third time in two and a half months) and it 'wasn't looking good." I knew that was a lie, they would never t...

Tigger · Tigger

Hi folks...it seems there may be a problem with people being able to access the chat room from their computers, which may be accounting for falling numbers. PLEASE as a HUGE favour to the community could anyone who reads this try to access the room at this link http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom...

Angel14 · Angel14

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that encouraged me to go. I was very nervous but within minutes I felt safe and welcomed. One lady shared her story and it hit particularly close to home. I sat there "ugly crying" yet I didn't feel judged. I'm so glad to finally find a place where...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

AH has slipped out of sobriety. Today drove home buzzed, legally intoxicated I'm sure. This time around I feel like I'll be able to handle it better. He clearly has a problem that I have nothing to do with. My hard boundaries: I won't be around him while he's drunk. I won't allow my kids to be alone wit...

LulaMay · LulaMay

I have just recently joined this forum and the chat and O MAN have I learned a lot. It is a complete new way of thinking. I guess I am really working on Step 1 and realizing that I am truly powerless. This morning I found my AH passed out in our garage when I woke up to get ready for work. I count on him to watch our...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Anyone read Language of Letting Go Today? It talked about having the courage to be ourselves, a very hard thing for me. A few years ago after going thru the steps it was so easy to have that courage, God protected me, it was amazing. But after making a brief impulsive codependent mistake which the other p...

ejohnson55 · ejohnson55

My significant other is in rehab, a intensive 30 in patient treatment. My mother and father want me to leave him, they say I'm being selfish to my family and not considering their feelings. THey do not understand that alcoholism is a disease, they are telling me how dare I put them through this and that...

tortuga · tortuga

Dear MIP family, I realize that whatever another person does, it should not affect me in my own decisions or actions. There is this slogan in Al Anon that goes soemwhat like that: 'He is gonna drink or not drink, what are you goanna do?' and it says a lot. But still, today I feel somewhat confused because I...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I have found a better nickname for me and where I am at in my growth in Al-anon. Someone once said I am no longer a flop and I must agree. So I will be reregistering and making a new come back. I am wishing everyone much growth in their own programs as well. Here is to turning over a new leaf! Sending you all much...

Icie · Icie

I tried to join the on line Al anon group tonight, but did Not & could not figure out how to change to my nickname ????? I had a really bad day & right now I cannot stop the tears. I am dammed if I do & dammed if I don't. As you know one son is a alcoholic & another son is married to a alcoholic lad...

Angel14 · Angel14

I am in my early 40's and I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We have 2 kids aged 12 and under. My husband blames me for his drinking. Last November, I'd had enough of him being a selfish jerk and told him I wanted a divorce. He was a social drinker back then. Now he says I ruined his life when I told h...

Sam813 · Sam813

The hardest thing about my brother being an addict and homeless is that I miss him terribly. I wish I could see him. I notice myself seeing a homeless person on the street and hoping it was my brother. I just wish I could call him and hear his voice, see him and give him a hug and pray with him. I can't stan...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Went to an Alanon Big Book Study meeting last night. There was so much recovery in the room it was astounding. All the Alanoners had been through the 12 steps using the Big Book of AA. The honesty and sense of responsibility was awesome. The peace and the power too.

Sam813 · Sam813

Hi, My baby brother is 20, is an addict and has been homeless since my mom kicked him out. Previous to this he was 1 year in AA going to meetings daily. He was doing so well. I haven't slept, ate, or functioned very well since he has been out on the street. My mom is following the alanon approach and are n...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

Well, it's Monday morning and tomorrow is moving day for my AH. He found an apartment and is doing the big move tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed emotions but still know my decision to separate was the right one. I spent the weekend doing lawn work, for those of you that don't know me you should know I HATE yard...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here I am all of me for all of you. I have been super-honest lately. My fear is going back to lying. I have so much to say & always so little time to tell all of you. I have a history of covering the truth. I am always honest on here. But, at home, I sometimes lie; sometimes overtly. I have to remember that I a...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

In church yesterday, I realized that I enjoy the experience al-anon speak about being happy and enjoying life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It must have been something the minister was saying, but I thought of my a/a daughter and realized I'm always just a tear from crying, the pain...

debhud · debhud

i work a decent program. and i am able to detatch fairly easily. i don't really care if my AS is drinking or not. i love him just the same. yesterday my 13yo granddaughter and i went to lunch. her parents separated 8 months ago and she chose to live with dad to take care of him. (god love my daughter-in-...

rehprof · rehprof

HUNGRY: I don't have the time to fulfill even the simplist of needs, and have to do better. I eat Doritos out of the machine for lunch and run all day and realize I haven't drank anything. I am hungry literally, emotionally, and spiritually, and finding very little in my life for me. My work and my kids and...

LulaMay · LulaMay

I grew up in an alcoholic household and I must have told myself a million times that I was never going to marry anyone with a drinking problem....but I did. My husband has tried to quit several times. He isn't physically abusive or anything but I am so bitter because alcohol has been his priority, the par...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a line I used to hear from my ex-A so often...wow. I remember feeling like all I ever did was support him. I was paying his share and was always encouraging him to make a go at whatever hairbrained plan he had for making money (get rich quick schemes instead of ever willing to get a normal job like I...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

This was something I read on a blag this morning and it reminded me how I am so much better for my struggles. I know when I get through all this schooling it will be well worth it and I love what I am showing my girls in the midst of it, it is never too late to o for your dreams and soar! Sending you all love and supp...

tortuga · tortuga

so it happened... I'm stuck .... AGAIN. working through the program, and doing great I think, with all that came along lately. Really loving myself more, but still: sometimes anger comes back (anger, I discovered during my program, is my 'best friend' that always sticks around, like a shadow...but...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm in the middle of what feels like a crushing financial drama in my life. It has left me feeling very anti-universe, like every time I make the tiniest step of progress forward, something happens and shoves me back about a hundred yards. I know that a very large part of the financial crisis is a resul...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Self-Care - What is it? (Preview) Would you please tell me what self-care is and how you do it? Thank you.	WorkingThroughIt	12	1545	Oct 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Bargaining? (Preview) Hi, I have more questions. Surprise, surprise! My AH decided last week to give AA a shot. He has said in the past that he hated it, could never find a group he liked, etc. He never drinks in front of me, always in the afternoons before I get home from work. I can tell almost immediately by his actions, fa...	NovSun	6	606	Oct 7, 2012 by NovSun
	Being a team player and people pleasing. (Preview) My levels of people pleasing are complex and many layered. I am aware these days that I have options rather than to kill myself at work, work myself into the ground and get ill and lose my voice completely. I have choices outside of the compulsion. I can also see how incredibly damaging it was to me to p...	orchidlover	5	687	Oct 7, 2012 by Katy
	Do They know What They're Doing? (Preview) My folks have watched me suffer for years with health issues and a big exhaustion problem. When you are being controlled and abused emotionally by others is saps the energy out of you. I have done all kinds of work in recovery for years and am finally beginning to get better, I'm beginning now to set some...	WorkingThroughIt	8	657	Oct 7, 2012 by pinkchip
	Yup...out again...friend died (Preview) So....last weekend my ah lost a friend to liver cancer..a strangly sudden death. Sad, tragic....my ah has been full of grief, fear and anxity....hes wondering the obvious...when will it be him. Actually talked to me about quiting, bla, blah, blah. Was home friday nite but left today at noon....its...	Theoceancalls	2	424	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	Intro and questions. (Preview) Hi. I'm not really sure how to start. I'm pretty new to Al-Anon, just over 30 days. My Alcoholic is my wife. At the beginning of August she was diagnosed with a heart condition brought on by her drinking. After that, she tried to quit for a while, but the periods of sobriety are really sporadic. She was goi...	redacted	8	481	Oct 7, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	What's an STBAX? (Preview) I sometimes see the reference STBAX and haven't been able to decipher that acronym. Anyone? Thanks!	denro	4	564	Oct 7, 2012 by Pushka
	A Great Meeting and Fellowship with the other side (Preview) I've had a great night. I went to my f2f Alanon meeting and only one other meeting member showed up. We talked a lot about grieving the past and embracing the present and living fully in it. Her hubby died sober last year with many many years. It happened while my recovering abf was just getting to know h...	tiredtonite	6	435	Oct 6, 2012 by UK Jane
	harassement (Preview) Hi all, I am in the middle of trying to set boundaries with my AH who got upset with me. He has given me the silent treatment for about 3 weeks now. I am not trying to fix this for him. After initially trying to talk things out with him, and when he refused, I decided that I would not keep trying and beat my he...	gracealone	8	508	Oct 6, 2012 by re
	Hard Day (Preview) Hi everyone, The grief has gotten to me today. I noticed that I am short tempered and I'm just so sad. My spouse is probably fed up right now. I went to see my counselor today which helped a lot, and I have an Al anon meeting on monday. I think I might need to look into going to another meeting on a dif...	Sam813	7	567	Oct 6, 2012 by pinkchip
	Big Changes Coming (Preview) I paid all of the bills for August and September even though I had been run out of my home by an alcoholic bully. I have scraped and juggled like a circus clown to keep things up to date. So this month, things will be different. I did it!! I'm so proud of myself! I took over all of the household bills for the m...	WornOutMrsFixIt	7	362	Oct 6, 2012 by rehprof
	Trying to Stay Focused (Preview) So today I am going to sign papers that will remove my name from title to our home of 25 years and give sole ownership to my STBXAH. This is both a part of our court settlement with the mortgage company and a part of our divorce settlement. I will be holding a note on the house as compensation for my share of ou...	Green Eyes	7	599	Oct 6, 2012 by Pushka
	prayers needed (Preview) Can't really go into detail but one of our members need prayer. The AH is not behaving. Maybe I shouldn't say that but I hope she gets through it! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	335	Oct 6, 2012 by pineapple
	feeling crummy today... (Preview) RAH will be 2 years sober next month. I honestly can't believe 2 years have gone by. I truly respect and admire the work he has done to achieve this. But, in some ways it is almost harder than when he was actively drinking. At least then, he and I both had an excuse as to why he would behave so badly much of the...	Wanderer	6	469	Oct 6, 2012 by Jerry F
	The Moving Truck Just Left (Preview) Well, his stuff and half our furniture is on its way to his new apartment. Of all the times I thought about this day, I never thought I would be this sad. Part of me is relieved, but the other part just feels like a failure. No one dreams of this day when they walk down the aisle. I am trying to remember the good...	TrudyS85	7	739	Oct 6, 2012 by Debilyn
	I have some questions, I'm confused (Preview) First i want to say thank you to to everyone here for your support, Im so grateful. I too am struggling about this 'choice' issue. It's so puzzling to me. How can someone choose to be homeless or choose to be an addict? Nobody would want that. It seems they are powerless. That being said, how do they choose...	Sam813	10	822	Oct 6, 2012 by Sam813
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! UPDATE... (Preview) 1st I have to Say THANK YOU to all that Responded... Even the Smallest Carry a Message & I am Very Grateful to have ya's... Welp... I Took the "Push" and did a Little Inventory, (Well A Big One) and the thing that seems to bring me the most Tears... Is of ALL things! FEAR OF CHANGE! & Pas...	Jozie	1	519	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	So guess who called me from the hospital? (Preview) AH took himself to the ER on Tuesday. Told me that in order to make sure he would feel physically able to get himself there and be ok for a while, he had to make sure he drank two 16 ounce beers first. But then they had him sitting in the ER for six hours, and by the time they got him admitted and into a room, the...	holivex	3	492	Oct 6, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why can't I do this?? (Preview) So I have been doing pretty good. AH has kept his drinking to a minimum, things have been great between us this week. As some may recall he's just quit the meth, as far as I know. He's working and been pretty much back to his old self, in a good mood and even smiling...wow! (it's been a while) So anyway I a...	JAMIE74	11	531	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Feel Like A Fool - But Why (Preview) Why do I let myself feel this way. AH just moved out, keeps telling me how much he loves me, is clean and sober, blah blah blah. Then I am looking around one of his social networking sites (one he doesn't know I know about) and I start to see things, things involving women, him saying things to them like &quo...	TrudyS85	8	711	Oct 5, 2012 by orchidlover
	Wishing... This Too Would Pass!!!! (Preview) Did ya Ever have One of those Days where While Trying to Pull Yourself Up Out of Your Pity Pot: It Seems Every Moment of the Day is Doomed to Keep ya there? Well thats My Last 3 days in a Nut shell... I have been Prayin on it, Stayin on it, and STILL can't Pin Point the Exact Nature of My Woo's... I have so Much Goi...	Jozie	5	505	Oct 5, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Need insight - how can it not be a choice? (Preview) In my last post I wrote about how much it hurt to know that my AH has chosen to drink over being with our family. I get that alcoholism is a progressive disease. I get that nobody wakes up and decides to be an alcoholic. I get that it creeps up on them and they are not aware of how bad it is until it is really, r...	holivex	16	647	Oct 5, 2012 by PP
	Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly .. (Preview) It is part of a longer AA promise, however it's the promise that applies to me as I work my own program of recovery in Alanon. It is a process and sometimes I'm a fast forgetter and a slow learner and other times I fall down Alice's rabbit hole of recovery going WTH happened and pop out and go WOW .. what a rid...	Pushka	9	522	Oct 5, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	TRADITION 12 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t51048803/tradition-12-alanon/	hotrod	0	259	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
	"When in Doubt, Don't" or Staying Needlessly Stuck? (Preview) So I'm having a lot of trouble with this. AH and I legally separated a year ago after his mental/alcoholic collapse which cost him his job. Hes doing AA and has been sober for 13 months now with a good sponsor. Hes still unemployed and living with his mom across town. But he sees me and our 3 year old boy on we...	nyc018	8	683	Oct 5, 2012 by tortuga
	Short and not so sweet (Preview) Hello, Allie here. This is my first post I hit another alanon bottom last night. I was reading the board and realized just how destructive, again, my alanon problem is. When I am around my friend, I become a whole nother person. I have no individualtiy; I become an appendage of him. When I am not, I am al...	AllieinAlanon	5	498	Oct 4, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Living with a recovering alcoholic (Preview) Hi, So, this is basically my first time ever reaching out for advice. I am the daughter of a recovering alcoholic (which I currently live with). I guess you could say I've always been the "peace-maker", or the invisible one. If my mom wasn't too busy taking care of my brother because of his d...	TinaMalaty	8	534	Oct 5, 2012 by TinaMalaty
	The Velveteen Rabbit (Preview) The Velveteen Rabbit““Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was alway...	John	5	638	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Worrying Again!! (Preview) I've been doing good minding my own business and concentrating on me and now the ex is leaving me messages about how bad his life is. Problems at work, his health and paying bills. Never mentions the drinking so I do not either. Telling me how he hears songs that remind him of me and he crys and he misse...	JJ21	7	484	Oct 5, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Struggling today/ need some ESH (Preview) I called my sponsor but she's got a packed schedule for the next few days, hopefully we'll get to talk tomorrow. I have no idea what is going on with me right now. I look at my AH and I literally seethe with anger and frustration. I almost shake when I'm in the same room with him. He went to his first AA meet...	ilovedogs	11	636	Oct 5, 2012 by pinkchip
	Alanon Weekend :) (Preview) I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. There was a state conference about 35 miles north of where I live, STBAX had the kids and boy I hit the door running on Friday!! For those who have thought about going to a conference of some kind I can only say GO GO GO GO!! It's HUGE .. the speakers there were ju...	Pushka	8	501	Oct 4, 2012 by amills4294
	Relief (Preview) I woke up this morning with such a sense of relief. I don't have to worry about him if I don't want to. I don't have to concern myself with what he is or isn't doing for himself. I don't have to be sick with him if I don't want to be. I can't control what he is out there doing and I certainly can't control how he tre...	Chaya	2	450	Oct 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Questions about Rehab (Preview) Hi, I have not been active on this site for almost a year now. Shame on me. I got married last Fall and thought he would change. Of course he didn't. Our first year of marriage, much like the 2 years we dated before that, have been him drinking in the afternoons before I get home from work, then trying to...	NovSun	9	592	Oct 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	Broken and confused (Preview) Hello all, I posted on here once about my boyfriend who is an alcoholic; we are both 31. I have been with him for 6 years. Basically, it has been an on and off reltionship for many reasons (lying, not working, hanging out with friends all day and night, verbal abuse, crazy behavior and cheating). I ha...	Gingerbread81	14	589	Oct 4, 2012 by orchidlover
	One month (Preview) It's been one month and one day since my A (nowX) left. It seems like this was the best thing for both of us. He is doing much better now. Says he hasn't had a drink since he's been gone and I believe him. He's getting counseling, eating again, getting his health back. I had a tough go of it for the first coupl...	pineapple	5	296	Oct 4, 2012 by tortuga
	Frustrated and not sure if I should be... (Preview) My family member is an alcoholic. He is making his second attempt at sobriety. He is 36 days sober. His wife, however, is frustrating me and maybe I am wrong. Here's why I'm frustrated and on the verge of angry...after his 1st attempt, at about 30-40 days, she asked him if he would mind if she drank som...	Strawberry	6	465	Oct 4, 2012 by Strawberry
	Why, why, why do I still have feelings for this man? (Preview) My AH called me over the weekend and left a message on my answering machine. Told me that he had called our health insurance company to see about getting back into treatment (this would be the third time in two and a half months) and it 'wasn't looking good." I knew that was a lie, they would never t...	holivex	9	562	Oct 4, 2012 by JJ21
	Chat room access (Preview) Hi folks...it seems there may be a problem with people being able to access the chat room from their computers, which may be accounting for falling numbers. PLEASE as a HUGE favour to the community could anyone who reads this try to access the room at this link http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom...	Tigger	4	342	Oct 4, 2012 by bud
	First Meeting Today (Preview) Thank you from the bottom of my heart to those that encouraged me to go. I was very nervous but within minutes I felt safe and welcomed. One lady shared her story and it hit particularly close to home. I sat there "ugly crying" yet I didn't feel judged. I'm so glad to finally find a place where...	Angel14	6	324	Oct 4, 2012 by Jill
	Almost easier this time around (Preview) AH has slipped out of sobriety. Today drove home buzzed, legally intoxicated I'm sure. This time around I feel like I'll be able to handle it better. He clearly has a problem that I have nothing to do with. My hard boundaries: I won't be around him while he's drunk. I won't allow my kids to be alone wit...	Hot Chicka	2	401	Oct 4, 2012 by holivex
	What in heavens have I been missing? (Preview) I have just recently joined this forum and the chat and O MAN have I learned a lot. It is a complete new way of thinking. I guess I am really working on Step 1 and realizing that I am truly powerless. This morning I found my AH passed out in our garage when I woke up to get ready for work. I count on him to watch our...	LulaMay	5	354	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Being Yourself (Preview) Anyone read Language of Letting Go Today? It talked about having the courage to be ourselves, a very hard thing for me. A few years ago after going thru the steps it was so easy to have that courage, God protected me, it was amazing. But after making a brief impulsive codependent mistake which the other p...	WorkingThroughIt	9	554	Oct 3, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	unsupportive family (Preview) My significant other is in rehab, a intensive 30 in patient treatment. My mother and father want me to leave him, they say I'm being selfish to my family and not considering their feelings. THey do not understand that alcoholism is a disease, they are telling me how dare I put them through this and that...	ejohnson55	5	816	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	am I too slow or is he too fast to follow? (Preview) Dear MIP family, I realize that whatever another person does, it should not affect me in my own decisions or actions. There is this slogan in Al Anon that goes soemwhat like that: 'He is gonna drink or not drink, what are you goanna do?' and it says a lot. But still, today I feel somewhat confused because I...	tortuga	5	572	Oct 3, 2012 by orchidlover
	Goodbye to flopadopilus (Preview) I have found a better nickname for me and where I am at in my growth in Al-anon. Someone once said I am no longer a flop and I must agree. So I will be reregistering and making a new come back. I am wishing everyone much growth in their own programs as well. Here is to turning over a new leaf! Sending you all much...	flopadopilus	17	555	Oct 3, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I totally lost my serenity today (Preview) I tried to join the on line Al anon group tonight, but did Not & could not figure out how to change to my nickname ????? I had a really bad day & right now I cannot stop the tears. I am dammed if I do & dammed if I don't. As you know one son is a alcoholic & another son is married to a alcoholic lad...	Icie	5	521	Oct 3, 2012 by Icie
	I'm new here, not sure where to begin (Preview) I am in my early 40's and I have been married to my husband for 19 years. We have 2 kids aged 12 and under. My husband blames me for his drinking. Last November, I'd had enough of him being a selfish jerk and told him I wanted a divorce. He was a social drinker back then. Now he says I ruined his life when I told h...	Angel14	9	528	Oct 3, 2012 by pinkchip
	I miss my brother (Preview) The hardest thing about my brother being an addict and homeless is that I miss him terribly. I wish I could see him. I notice myself seeing a homeless person on the street and hoping it was my brother. I just wish I could call him and hear his voice, see him and give him a hug and pray with him. I can't stan...	Sam813	2	610	Oct 3, 2012 by slogan_jim
	Using AA Big Book (Preview) Went to an Alanon Big Book Study meeting last night. There was so much recovery in the room it was astounding. All the Alanoners had been through the 12 steps using the Big Book of AA. The honesty and sense of responsibility was awesome. The peace and the power too.	WorkingThroughIt	6	3693	Oct 3, 2012 by Overcome
	New to Alanon (Preview) Hi, My baby brother is 20, is an addict and has been homeless since my mom kicked him out. Previous to this he was 1 year in AA going to meetings daily. He was doing so well. I haven't slept, ate, or functioned very well since he has been out on the street. My mom is following the alanon approach and are n...	Sam813	4	509	Oct 3, 2012 by Sam813
	Moving Day Is Finally Here (Preview) Well, it's Monday morning and tomorrow is moving day for my AH. He found an apartment and is doing the big move tomorrow. I have a lot of mixed emotions but still know my decision to separate was the right one. I spent the weekend doing lawn work, for those of you that don't know me you should know I HATE yard...	TrudyS85	4	475	Oct 2, 2012 by pinkchip
	so, here I am! (Preview) Here I am all of me for all of you. I have been super-honest lately. My fear is going back to lying. I have so much to say & always so little time to tell all of you. I have a history of covering the truth. I am always honest on here. But, at home, I sometimes lie; sometimes overtly. I have to remember that I a...	Hoot Nanny	2	475	Oct 1, 2012 by UK Jane
	A tear away from crying! (Preview) In church yesterday, I realized that I enjoy the experience al-anon speak about being happy and enjoying life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. It must have been something the minister was saying, but I thought of my a/a daughter and realized I'm always just a tear from crying, the pain...	Highlyfavored	3	462	Oct 1, 2012 by slogan_jim
	i wanna SCREAM at my son. (poor 13yo granddaughter with sick father) (Preview) i work a decent program. and i am able to detatch fairly easily. i don't really care if my AS is drinking or not. i love him just the same. yesterday my 13yo granddaughter and i went to lunch. her parents separated 8 months ago and she chose to live with dad to take care of him. (god love my daughter-in-...	debhud	9	737	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) HUNGRY: I don't have the time to fulfill even the simplist of needs, and have to do better. I eat Doritos out of the machine for lunch and run all day and realize I haven't drank anything. I am hungry literally, emotionally, and spiritually, and finding very little in my life for me. My work and my kids and...	rehprof	4	1010	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Supportive and healthy in a dysfunctional relationship?????How does that work?????? (Preview) I grew up in an alcoholic household and I must have told myself a million times that I was never going to marry anyone with a drinking problem....but I did. My husband has tried to quit several times. He isn't physically abusive or anything but I am so bitter because alcohol has been his priority, the par...	LulaMay	2	415	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	You don't support me!!! (Preview) This is a line I used to hear from my ex-A so often...wow. I remember feeling like all I ever did was support him. I was paying his share and was always encouraging him to make a go at whatever hairbrained plan he had for making money (get rich quick schemes instead of ever willing to get a normal job like I...	pinkchip	8	607	Oct 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Trials are not meant to make you fall, but to make you fly! (Preview) This was something I read on a blag this morning and it reminded me how I am so much better for my struggles. I know when I get through all this schooling it will be well worth it and I love what I am showing my girls in the midst of it, it is never too late to o for your dreams and soar! Sending you all love and supp...	Breakingfree	5	427	Oct 1, 2012 by Kismet
	afraid to move! (Preview) so it happened... I'm stuck .... AGAIN. working through the program, and doing great I think, with all that came along lately. Really loving myself more, but still: sometimes anger comes back (anger, I discovered during my program, is my 'best friend' that always sticks around, like a shadow...but...	tortuga	5	462	Oct 1, 2012 by Jerry F
	Maintaining Perspective, and Passing The Lesson On (Preview) I'm in the middle of what feels like a crushing financial drama in my life. It has left me feeling very anti-universe, like every time I make the tiniest step of progress forward, something happens and shoves me back about a hundred yards. I know that a very large part of the financial crisis is a resul...	stephaniej	3	350	Oct 1, 2012 by stephaniej
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.