The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm a grateful member of al-anon, the A in my life, my partner, she drinks every night. There is a lot of strain - I'm looking for work, my partners mum has been in hospital a bit recently. She's had a couple of bladder infections, last one requiring IV antibiotics. She is 80 and not in great health really (she was an A too). She's very frail and can't walk down the stairs, she lives with her husband (but he's getting on in age), she can't make it down the stairs. I fear she will have a fall and be in a great agony and probably die from that. In hospital there was a suggestion of Parkinson's Disease and indeed, she's exhibiting a lot of the symptoms. She's been sent home now with supposedly pneumoniae ... she didn't have pneumoniae and has not any of the symptoms. I've no idea about the Parkinson's Disease situation, what is happneing about any neurological assessment. Great. We are in the UK so our wonderful NHS is supposedly doing something - it looks like they are washing their hands of an elderly person and just fobbing her off. My partners family are uselss and not getting something simple as a stair lift in so she can get up and down the stairs without risking her life.
My partner has asked me to look after her purse/keep her purse at home so she doesn't spend money on alcohol. I've not really been very pro-active about this as it feels like linking into co-dependency, so if she wants to leave her purse at home so be it, but I'm not going to actively pursue that one (e.g. asking if she's left her purse etc etc).
So a lot of strain at the moment. I'm finding things quite difficult to cope with - it's all sending me into a bit of downer and I feel quite depressed quite frankly. I'm trying to keep my spirits up and doing the best I can.
There's a meeting in the middle of next week I should be able to get to.
Despite having her purse at home my partner was drinking (she's a 'secret' bedroom drinker) last night and quite obviously UI.
I practise my steps, my disconnection/boundaries whenever I sense she's been drinking. It's horrible though - like an emotional shutting down and it generally leaves me feeling traumatised afterwards. Seeing the person you love killing themselves every day kinda traumatises you.
Then she asks about things that she mentioned last night but obviously can't remember due to being UI. I just say "yeah, you mentioned that last night" and just leave it at that.
Today it is sunny (it's been raining non-stop for best part of a week here in the UK) and the kids are being good. Good times.
A prayer coming your way, J. And for your family... here is hope for better days...