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This Past Week I got to spend some Really Nice Quality Time with My 88 Year old AGrandma! As Some Know I Lost My Afather to this Disease at 58yrs old in 2008. Well this is His Momma!
She calls me on the Phone out of the blue one day & states my Aunt is Leaving town for a couple day (She stays with her) and She wants to Sleep on my Couch! lol... Now Mind you she is 88, Never Raises her voice, is all of 4'11" tall, has Heart Issues & is Diabetic!... She Could Pass for the Sweet Little Flying Nun! And She Can Charm the Pants Off Anyone! No Joke!
Welp, I Needed Time to Process this Request so I told her I would Call her the next day!... And I Did and Told her I thought it would be Great if she spent some time with me, but I do have a Crazy schedule and we were going to soccer games & school events those days but if she didn't mind going along she could stay! So its ON!
I was a Nervous wreck! Up till she got here! Just because she is so Fragile in my mind! Yet she DROVE to my House when she arrived!
We had Great Chats, Great Remember whens, and then it starts! She started to tell me how My Aunt (Who is the ONLY Sober Member of this Branch!) treats her like a child, and gets mad at her because she goes to the bars & has others drive her home! And how she wishes she could live on her own again! (Which she is uneasy on her feet ALOT) And Doesn't Understand Why God wants her Here after taking 2 Husbands & her Baby Boy! And that is about ALL she Talks about!
So With Compassion in my Eyes & Words, I try to tell her that My Aunt is Upset because she is putting others in harms way bringing her home at all hours of the day, and for her own Safety because of her resent falls, and what not! (most of the drivers ARE Drinking, they are just Not as Drunk as Her!) She Drinks (Straight) V0...She has Already in the last 2 yrs since moving in with my aunt.. Ran the Van into the guardrails twice, crawed up the steps of the local "Clubs" Many times to LEAVE! , bounced Checks, slept in her Van! fell in the yard Numerious times trying to "Sneek" back in the house! (Again... She is 88yrs old!)
The long Short! She was with me for 3 days! Didn't have a Drop, didn't accept it when it was offered (Tho Not Her Brand)... Yesterday she told me she was going to get home before my Aunt got back and make sure the house was in good order! said she was going to the bank to get some $ to pay some bills & heading Home! And Off She Drove! (My Gut Told Me Otherwise! I Just Prayed it was Wrong!)
Welp! In the Middle of my (Already Not so Fun Day) I get a Call from my Aunt who is Flyin up the freeway from her Business trip because my Uncle called & Said Gram was Home & Drunk & Can't get up the steps and he is Sick of This "beep beep beep!" Understandable So! And again someone Drunk Brought her across to statelines to "Help her Out!" Now She LOVES to Gamble as Well! So We have no way of Knowing if Peeps are Rippin her Off, or she is Gambling it (Very Possible)...
How do you Set Boundry's for a lady thats 88 yrs old! Thats Already Broke Her Neck once! and sat up all night "she didn't want to Bug no one with it, Cause it was late!" But the Truth! (She got Drunk!)... Thank God Above she was Smart enough to keep pressure on it till morning or the docs said she would have been paralized! Its NUTS! You Expect this Behavior of Kids, Even Adults! but 88 yr old little old ladys' REALLY! It is Def. A Cunning & Baffling Disease that I'm Quite Tired of!
How do you tell someone that has No Desire to be Here! To Behave, and that You Love & Need Her! (Which I have told her but she glows for a second, then it goes out!) Lossing my Afather has sent her on a downward spiral & the only option we have is to Watch! Its Heartbreaking, Tramatizing, and tho I have My Program, and My Program Family! It Still SUCKS on all levels!
I am Tired of the stress, I'm Tired of trying to figure it out! And just don't know what to do... After Speaking with my Aunt I Found that ALOT of what AGram Told me of her Drinking habits was BS! And i Knew about the Gambling just not the extent of it...thats just another one of those "Family Secrets" that everyone Deny's... I Love her to death, and do Adore her, but I don't know how to Help her! The Help that I Offer gets told No Thanks! As soon as She Looks at me with those Little Brown Eyes, of Innocents, I can't even Be mad at her!!!! She has 10 grandkids, 15 gr grandkids, 1 Gr gr Grandkid and of them all, My Aunts 2 boys & I are the only ones that Give her the time of Day, and with them being Boys, most of that Falls on Me! And I Love that she stays Connected with me, I just feel so Helpless at times! Sick & Tired I Suppose! Been a Tough Week, Just Praying HP has something better planned for the weekend! Tryin to Keep the Faith!
You said it all when you said it's a cunning, baffling disease and it takes everyone regardless of age, race, religion or creed.
Sending you love and support, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
