Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cinders · cinders

I work with a woman that does notary, so I finally was able to get the divorce papers back from her last night. I have them in hand and just could not get myself to put put them in the mailbox to him today. I know he is chomping at the bit and demanding they get sent to him asap, even saying to drop them in his ma...

sweeetr · sweeetr

How cool is that. I come home to stoned like person passed out instead of watching child cuz now has rx's and alcohol. Wth

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I don't know why, perhaps airing issues with my daughter/granddaughter, or what the specific issue is, I simply feel liberated. That and working hard at just being me and loving myself just as I am and working alanon principals- I guess it's been a burden off. I don't have a thing bothering me and that'...

imom · imom

Ok...so tonight, my AH drove both of my children, and another child in a carpool and when he came home, I could smell the A on him. I did not want to fight, but I also wanted to make it very clear that I would not accept him putting any children in danger by drinking or driving. I simply said, if you're going...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

After my drama today I went to a meeting I normally don't attend. Was really nice and I was able to talk and enjoy the followship. One of the women I had know from two years ago was there and we talked alot. She wants me to chair the meetings in January. I said I didn't think I was ready but she said we will he...

twladybug · twladybug

I wish I could find answers. I wish I knew if the problem is alcholism or if we really just have a dysfunctional relationship. My recovering A broke up again with me this morning. This has happened 4 or 5 times over the last year. Every other time he later said he still loves me and wants to keep working at it...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I can only say I didn't cry, I ddin't scream, I didn't get depressed I only prayed for God to help him. ( Thought he was doing good in AA ) I was mislead again. AS told me things tonight that would in the past put me in the hospital but now I was OK. He is very sick and not in his right mind and also to stop the al...

Rich JHU · Rich JHU

Hey all, This is my first communication in any way with Al Anon. I am 29 years old, happily married with a daughter and another one on the way. I have my dream job and the best friends anyone could ask for. My life is perfect in every way but one, my family. I grew up being taught that alcohol was a way to party a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I want to say something inspirational but I don't have a lot of time. Just remember this: There is absolutely nothing that your HP & you cannot do together. You are not insignificant. You are important & worth thinking of & being loved. This time of year we remember those we love. We give wh...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I'm opening up for the first time about this difficult situation. Seeing as how I'm much worse at taking advice than giving it, I could use some of my own medicine... Long story short- I have a bipolar daughter who has wreaked havoc in my life and my wife's since day one. Once she got a few friends in High...

RR67 · RR67

today is the day I will go to meetings and try to meet p like me. I'm going to try to look at today for today and not think about yesterday . I tend to live the past issues and make them my everyday priorety. In the present day. I need to reprogram my brain try to be positive . I just want what ever normal is .

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

Well my husband is now in rehab for the second time for his alcoholism. He was in a horrible state when they came to get him today. I should be relieved - but I'm just so sad. I know I didn't cause it, but how sad To see such destruction. I love him, but I can't do this anymore. He doesn't really realize tha...

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...

invinciblesummer · invinciblesummer

Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...

Andrea91 · Andrea91

Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...

tortuga · tortuga

...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...

RR67 · RR67

Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private

Jozie · Jozie

It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...

rellik · rellik

I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...

kelseyg32792 · kelseyg32792

My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...

AngieP · AngieP

I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...

imom · imom

Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...

twladybug · twladybug

I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...

nmike · nmike

This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...

Overcome · Overcome

After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...

jules · jules

New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...

oldbeforemytime · oldbeforemytime

I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...

imom · imom

I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...

elizabeth · elizabeth

DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too. Kathleen

hotrod · hotrod

IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...

davie · davie

Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

"Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?

debhud · debhud

my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...

Thumbelina · Thumbelina

Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...

cinders · cinders

My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...

rellik · rellik

We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...

John · John

Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.

el-cee · el-cee

I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...

cdrew422 · cdrew422

Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Just for today..... (Preview) I work with a woman that does notary, so I finally was able to get the divorce papers back from her last night. I have them in hand and just could not get myself to put put them in the mailbox to him today. I know he is chomping at the bit and demanding they get sent to him asap, even saying to drop them in his ma...	cinders	4	443	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	Alcoholic finds doc to prescribe pills (Preview) How cool is that. I come home to stoned like person passed out instead of watching child cuz now has rx's and alcohol. Wth	sweeetr	5	473	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	I feel free tonight (Preview) I don't know why, perhaps airing issues with my daughter/granddaughter, or what the specific issue is, I simply feel liberated. That and working hard at just being me and loving myself just as I am and working alanon principals- I guess it's been a burden off. I don't have a thing bothering me and that'...	AlAnonDave	2	260	Dec 21, 2012 by Jozie
	insanity running rampant (Preview) Ok...so tonight, my AH drove both of my children, and another child in a carpool and when he came home, I could smell the A on him. I did not want to fight, but I also wanted to make it very clear that I would not accept him putting any children in danger by drinking or driving. I simply said, if you're going...	imom	16	661	Dec 21, 2012 by Pushka
	Meeting tonight (Preview) After my drama today I went to a meeting I normally don't attend. Was really nice and I was able to talk and enjoy the followship. One of the women I had know from two years ago was there and we talked alot. She wants me to chair the meetings in January. I said I didn't think I was ready but she said we will he...	Cathyinaz	1	280	Dec 21, 2012 by Overcome
	broken heart (Preview) I wish I could find answers. I wish I knew if the problem is alcholism or if we really just have a dysfunctional relationship. My recovering A broke up again with me this morning. This has happened 4 or 5 times over the last year. Every other time he later said he still loves me and wants to keep working at it...	twladybug	4	544	Dec 21, 2012 by twladybug
	Son is drinking again (Preview) I can only say I didn't cry, I ddin't scream, I didn't get depressed I only prayed for God to help him. ( Thought he was doing good in AA ) I was mislead again. AS told me things tonight that would in the past put me in the hospital but now I was OK. He is very sick and not in his right mind and also to stop the al...	Cathyinaz	8	555	Dec 21, 2012 by el-cee
	Newbie... at a loss (Preview) Hey all, This is my first communication in any way with Al Anon. I am 29 years old, happily married with a daughter and another one on the way. I have my dream job and the best friends anyone could ask for. My life is perfect in every way but one, my family. I grew up being taught that alcohol was a way to party a...	Rich JHU	5	498	Dec 20, 2012 by pinkchip
	I want to say something... (Preview) I want to say something inspirational but I don't have a lot of time. Just remember this: There is absolutely nothing that your HP & you cannot do together. You are not insignificant. You are important & worth thinking of & being loved. This time of year we remember those we love. We give wh...	Hoot Nanny	3	418	Dec 20, 2012 by Jen
	Daughter (Preview) I'm opening up for the first time about this difficult situation. Seeing as how I'm much worse at taking advice than giving it, I could use some of my own medicine... Long story short- I have a bipolar daughter who has wreaked havoc in my life and my wife's since day one. Once she got a few friends in High...	AlAnonDave	8	687	Dec 20, 2012 by Magster
	Trying (Preview) today is the day I will go to meetings and try to meet p like me. I'm going to try to look at today for today and not think about yesterday . I tend to live the past issues and make them my everyday priorety. In the present day. I need to reprogram my brain try to be positive . I just want what ever normal is .	RR67	6	354	Dec 20, 2012 by nmike
	He is in rehab - I should be relieved (Preview) Well my husband is now in rehab for the second time for his alcoholism. He was in a horrible state when they came to get him today. I should be relieved - but I'm just so sad. I know I didn't cause it, but how sad To see such destruction. I love him, but I can't do this anymore. He doesn't really realize tha...	Looking for peace	5	326	Dec 20, 2012 by Auntyaya
	im just curious on high functioning alcoholics (Preview) My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...	sweeetr	8	586	Dec 19, 2012 by sweeetr
	home for the holidays? (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...	invinciblesummer	4	433	Dec 19, 2012 by invinciblesummer
	Court Hearing Today (Preview) It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...	Green Eyes	6	541	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	How do I pass the message (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...	Mobirdie	8	569	Dec 19, 2012 by Ness
	I thought I was "getting it". (Preview) I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...	hdftby100	8	623	Dec 19, 2012 by maryjane
	Newbie (Preview) Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...	Andrea91	4	404	Dec 19, 2012 by Andrea91
	ABF picked up drinking yesterday... (Preview) ...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...	tortuga	7	526	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	... (Preview) Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private	RR67	2	460	Dec 19, 2012 by RR67
	THANK YOU AL-ANON/ACOA (Preview) It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...	Jozie	3	418	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	New level of understanding! (Preview) I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...	rellik	4	436	Dec 18, 2012 by Jozie
	OK.....stay on your side of the street (Preview) Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...	Cathyinaz	5	657	Dec 18, 2012 by Zimmy
	Intervention (Preview) I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...	almostgivenup	3	331	Dec 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Re established boundaries (Preview) I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...	sweeetr	5	375	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Whew! I'm plumb tired (Preview) I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...	ilovedogs	8	497	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Different situation to me (Preview) Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...	hdftby100	6	426	Dec 18, 2012 by rellik
	Alcoholic boyfriend help please (Preview) My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...	kelseyg32792	10	8727	Dec 18, 2012 by hotrod
	What do I tell my kids (Preview) My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...	Looking for peace	6	468	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	Newbie... In pain & confusion (Preview) I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...	AngieP	4	470	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	You have got to be kidding me (Preview) I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...	stephaniej	2	339	Dec 17, 2012 by Zimmy
	Question from experience please (Preview) I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...	sweeetr	5	495	Dec 17, 2012 by kaybee
	I did it! (Preview) Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...	imom	6	422	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	It's raining and I'm sad (Preview) Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...	Cathyinaz	10	677	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	living with recovering A (Preview) I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...	twladybug	4	543	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	Best to you all (Preview) This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...	nmike	4	352	Dec 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Mom cigarettes smoking (Preview) I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...	Jen	4	549	Dec 16, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Trying to live up to an Ideal (Preview) After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...	Overcome	8	505	Dec 16, 2012 by Overcome
	Do I belong here? (Preview) New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...	jules	6	467	Dec 16, 2012 by Desirae
	My father... (Preview) I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...	oldbeforemytime	4	345	Dec 16, 2012 by Tarase
	Tree of memories & me! (Preview) I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...	Hoot Nanny	1	311	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	Having a hard time breathing - am I over reacting? (Preview) I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...	RobinKSC	3	372	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	thankful (Preview) I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...	imom	3	330	Dec 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The DO's and DON'Ts of Al-anon (Preview) DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...	elizabeth	4	815	Dec 16, 2012 by cla
	one thing to say! (Preview) *I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too.* *Kathleen*	Hoot Nanny	3	281	Dec 16, 2012 by kaybee
	Step 5 Step Work Board (Preview) *IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR* GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...	hotrod	0	328	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detatchment (Preview) Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...	davie	3	298	Dec 16, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Why do some Alanon meetings say... (Preview) "Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?	WorkingThroughIt	11	656	Dec 15, 2012 by RobinKSC
	feel guilty because i am avoiding A son (Preview) my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...	debhud	7	522	Dec 15, 2012 by tired of trying
	Help! Starting to push back on drinking and driving with our child (Preview) I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...	abbyalana	3	440	Dec 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	what does this mean? (Preview) I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...	Debilyn	1	410	Dec 15, 2012 by Mattie
	New here. My husband has drinking problem. Drinking problem husband (Preview) Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...	Thumbelina	4	5712	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Letting go - Finally!! (Preview) My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...	cinders	5	543	Dec 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Divorce Settlement Issues (Preview) I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...	Green Eyes	8	652	Dec 15, 2012 by bud
	Christmas Eve apart for the first time in 13yrs (Preview) We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...	rellik	10	421	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detachment ( with love ) (Preview) The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...	Cathyinaz	7	647	Dec 14, 2012 by sweeetr
	holiday card request for MIP house residents (Preview) Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...	John	0	330	Dec 14, 2012 by John
	The Next Right Thing (Preview) I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.	WornOutMrsFixIt	2	366	Dec 14, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	sick of being sick (Preview) I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...	el-cee	2	394	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
	I'm new here... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...	cdrew422	3	416	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.