The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope....
My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, first expensive gift. I asked him to shop around online and expressed that $250 was a lot of money to spend on a high school girlfriend gift. He has texted me that he is paying for it out of his summer job money, a Michael Kohrs watch which in my opinion is too expensive for a 17 year old. I am sure I am out of touch but that is how I feel. I have suggested Fossil watches, they are very nice and good quality. Now, he might be with the girlfriend shopping I am not sure. I told him before he left I would like to see the watch. I hope he does not bring her over here with it, I don't think I can hide my attitude, although I will try. It's his money, I just don't agree and feel like he is getting sucked in by the girlfriend? her mother? taken advantage of? lots of feelings here.....
I tell teens I work with that love is a wonderful thing and 1st loves are typically really powerful. I also tell them that almost nobody stays with their high school girlfriend/boyfriend in the long run and that doing anything that will permanently connect you to each other or spending so much money on each other is ill advised cuz they will regret it after the break up.
Either they will listen or not. I doubt it's the girl. They have been going out for a year. If she was a greedy little (whatever) you'd know it by now. I would chalk it up to 1st love and naivete. You've done all you can. At 17, it would seem your big job as a parent is to educate....you did that pretty much.
I think at 17 kids tend to think big and go over-the-top. It's just money and hopefully he will learn from the experience. It might be time for another conversation with him about what is love(ie, not gifts or stuff, but regard for each other). It never hurts to open up conversations with our kids. I try to listen and not talk too much. (I am a preacher-type, get me on a subject and I'll beat it to death.) It's hard for me to close my mouth, but I am learning. LOL
First love is awesome. Try not to get too worked up over it. It won't be his last unless he's darn lucky. LOL
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
