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Don't have a clear mind
(Preview)
I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...
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broken apart
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3
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237
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I will be okay no matter what!
(Preview)
I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...
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Breakingfree
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6
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331
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Being a double winner sure is tough...
(Preview)
Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...
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AlAnonDave
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1
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332
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New Year coming :)
(Preview)
There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....
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Pushka
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3
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306
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A special Christmas gift.
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...
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Annie1234
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6
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228
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Research Opportunity
(Preview)
Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...
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uniresearch
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2
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216
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Just looking for someone to listen/read.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...
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slogan_jim
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4
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516
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- turns into a + which now=.
(Preview)
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broken apart
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13
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574
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If I want it different; I have to MAKE it different!
(Preview)
I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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364
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HP timing is not always what we expect
(Preview)
I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...
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AStrongerMe
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3
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262
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I don't want to do this....but I can
(Preview)
Going thru my first days alone since the seperation 6 weeks ago. Kids went to their fathers house yesterday and will not be back till Saturday. I had all these glorious plans to finish unpacking my bedroom and get it painted, now I am stalled and can't seem to find the motivation. Feeling a bit lonely...
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cinders
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6
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292
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sober...again!
(Preview)
My x ah has been drinking again and I have had very limited contact with him for about 6 mths. Anyway, we spent Xmas day together for the sake of the family. We had a good talk and he is going back to aa and is hoping to get sober again. I believe he really wants to but he often feels justified in drinking due to '...
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el-cee
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5
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392
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Is it possible that HP has a plan for ME?
(Preview)
For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed...
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TryingToChange
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5
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387
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What more can I do?
(Preview)
My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we met. He says, you met me like this, so whats the problem. My problem is we have two sons (of whick he adopted from my previous marriage) and a 4 yr old daughter. Currently he is going to AA and trying his best. I go to meetings when I can find the time...which...
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ambosbeth
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6
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347
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Story of flood and Adversity when I feel Defeated....
(Preview)
When I think I've had enough and feel I'm sick and tired of this disease, and I don't want to do this anymore I think of this woman... The year 2000 in Mozambique when the Zambezi River flooded and killed 50,000 people 20,000 cattle, destroyed farmland worse flood in 50 years. But a woman survived during...
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oldergal
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3
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255
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help, please! terrified for my alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi, I have three alcoholics in my life and just turned a year at alanon. Tonight called at 00:29 my youngest and extreemly beloved brother ( who had told me he had a drinking problem & had had a relapse and was desperate about it). He is in town for Christmas, I hadn't seen him drunk as he lives in anothe...
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Onor
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7
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7529
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Mele Kalikimaka ...
(Preview)
In english that is Merry Christmas and that is how we say it in Hawaii. My heart is full sending this wish along with prayers for you all because of what this Ohana (family) has mean't to me and my recovery. Al-Anon is the "greatest gift" I've been allowed to have and MIP is a big part of the fou...
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Jerry F
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9
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374
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Things are not going well after a year
(Preview)
I have dated my boyfriend for a year, during which time he finalized his divorce, moved into his own place and got a great job. It was also his first year of sobriety. During this entire year I have helped and supported him to deal with his illness, divorce, kids, even letting him stay here for along per...
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teachmath
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10
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375
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our son
(Preview)
So now my dear son is behaving like his father and his father has no humility or understanding of how or why he got to be like this, so my husband gave my son money for drink to celibrate christmas and told him to have a good time adn not to let him down, but as we know a drinker cannot regulate his imput and once...
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Katy
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2
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404
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Christmas Heartbreak
(Preview)
Help.
My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic (sober 2 years), and doesn't get along with my parents. He attended family Christmas with me and all went well- he tries really hard. We have two dogs and have been together for a year. We recently lost our jobs (going out of business) and have had some issu...
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Taylo
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8
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481
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I got a garbage can for christmas!
(Preview)
My neighbor ordered a new garbage can from the store that I sometimes work at. Guess what they gave me for Christmas? They had noticed that the bottom was rotted out of my can and bought me a can, on wheels, with locking lid to keep the dogs out. Ok so I'm floored, blessed, happy, wow. Cheers!
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likemyheart
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5
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443
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Alanon Tools - "Conversation Enders"
(Preview)
I happen to deal with a lot of people who perfect manipulation to a science. They will try to get me not to trust myself. I always recognize it and sometimes I do well off-setting it, other times not so much. When someone is trying to manipulate you what are some good Conversation Enders you use?
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WorkingThroughIt
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9
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1296
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what do you think
(Preview)
So my husband had his 5th relaspe in as many years. Spent almost 3 weeks drinking a gallon of rum a day, after the first couple days-I had him move out. So after 3 weeks he gets sick, sobers up and agrees he needs long term treatment as AA by itself hasn't worked-because he stops after a couple months. So he g...
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tired of trying
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8
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282
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I think i need help!
(Preview)
Hi i dont know what to do anymore or what im expecting from posting this really. Here's my story: Im with my husband 6 years married 1 1/2. We have 2 kids together and another 1 on the way. He's sober now 13mths and is attending AA. I attended a couple of Al-anon meetings at the beginning of this year but to b...
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bel25
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7
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288
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Literally surrounded by alcoholics
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, Sorry, long post. Just need to get some stuff out. I was just thinking this morning that there must be some kind of message my HP is trying to tell me, although I have had a hard time with faith in a HP over the last ten years. I've been thinking about all the alcoholic...
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Minaret
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3
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409
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From this day forward
(Preview)
I have been separated from my husband of 19 yrs after asking him to make the choice of alcohol or his family. I wasn't prepared for his answer that he didn't have a problem and wouldn't stop drinking. I have attended face to face meetings from that day on 4 months ago. I had been lurking on this board lookin...
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life_is_good
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4
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535
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ODAT December 25
(Preview)
Good read in ODAT for Christmas Day. I'm asked alot about my motives and this passage helped me think on this day when I wanted to call my son and interrogate about how he felt and what he was doing and if he was OK....etc etc etc. I didn't go there! Thank you God.....nice Christmas gift to let go and thi...
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Cathyinaz
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2
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254
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Denial at work
(Preview)
In the week leading up to Christmas one of my neighbors died very suddenly. He was an active drug user but most of all he did not take care of himself. His antics, making noise, having people over at all times of the day and night affected me. I was also affected by his "begging" for stuff lik...
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orchidlover
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5
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394
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Daughter spent Christmas with us
(Preview)
My alcoholic/addict newly sober daughter spent Xmas with us, and I think the reality of us having custody of her child and the fact that she can't live with us was soaking in all weekend. She spent all her energy trying to control the situation, sulking, generally acting miserable the whole time and be...
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AlAnonDave
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4
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365
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I think I'm "getting it"
(Preview)
I invited my a/a daughter for Christmas dinner, my a/a son was here from out of town, he isn't using at this time, use to be addicted to crack. He and my male friend had gone to her apt. on Mon. and she said she was coming. We cooked a lot of food, on Christmas my son called her and she had changed her mind, sayi...
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Highlyfavored
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3
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287
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Sense of entitlement (share)
(Preview)
Hi, my name is Slogan Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the last couple of months Ive noticed a trend in certain people around me. Everyone seems to want the most for doing the least. Everyone seems to feel they are entitled to certain things in life, things that for those who have them, have w...
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slogan_jim
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3
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382
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broken!in tears...
(Preview)
...sadness, worry, fear, anger, confusion! That's what I'm left with today, after ABF showed up yesterday for Christmas Eve. He was all confused and still trying to make me believe that I am the most selfish woman on earth, for taking care of me first. He still blames me for his relapse last week, he is b...
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tortuga
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8
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526
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Does She believe she can drink?
(Preview)
Hi,
My partner is in AA and was off drink for about a year then slipped, lost license and has been slipping on and off for sometime.mshe continually lies about drink even when I have found the bottles( must stop searching, thought Inhad got over this). She is taking tablets that are supposed to make her...
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littlehob
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5
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376
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My Christmas
(Preview)
Well here I sit, no TV, no furniture, no car, a frozen pizza in the house, my computer set up on the floor lying down typing to you (rather uncomfortably I might add.) There are all sorts of people I can blame...the last 2 landlords who had apartments with toxic mold that ruined all my belongings and got me...
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WorkingThroughIt
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8
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423
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I chose to spend Christmas alone
(Preview)
MY CAPS LOCK STICKS, OH WELL. I BROKE UP WITH MY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I WAS FEELING IT WAS HEADED TOWARDS SOMETHING NOT WHAT I WANTED ANY LONGER, IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO HURT HIM, IT DID HAVE TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT THOUGH, NOT GREAT TIMING TO DO IT, I KNOW. IT HAD TO GET DONE AND YESTERDAY WAS THE FI...
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Breakingfree
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7
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418
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HOW DO YOU STAY WITH ALCOHOLIC HUSBAND?
(Preview)
This may seem like a very odd question. How do you wives live with an alcoholic husband and live your life without having him affect you. I have used detachment but that makes me feel like we are roomates, not husband and wife. What's the point? I have been to Al-Anon meetings and many wives cannot liv...
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wifeofalcoholic
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9
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622
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Hopelessly Lost...
(Preview)
Three years ago yesterday I attended my first Al-Anon meeting after discovering that my father was an alcoholic. Now, less than 2 years into my marriage, I am finding myself in need of similiar support, but now as a result of my husband who I believe is addicted to marijuana. I know that this is more fo...
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Hope123
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8
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453
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and now?...the way forward
(Preview)
yes most of the time I used to think am not worth loving, even though I don't feel I am a bad person. I feel often very lonely inside, and started my recovery 8 years ago, when I hit bottom in a depression. I then started a journey of discovery of my own, I learn to love and accept, along that route many people a...
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tortuga
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3
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312
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Stop controlling
(Preview)
I don't like how things have changed for me. I don't see it getting better. I am trying my best to survive everyday that my partner stays sober and I stay sane . When does the controll stop ? The drink is gone but the controll has been activated and I am drowning in the old drink
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broken apart
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3
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241
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It's come to a head.
(Preview)
After the Xmas ridiculousness with the exAH it has come to a head. I spoke with the court mediator today about the situation and she said based on the therapists recommendation, things I shared that have occured and this weekend's recent BS that I yank all visitation with our child. She said he is no...
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abbyalana
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2
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227
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Donations Needed
(Preview)
Hello everyone, Yes, it is time to pay our bills again for the site, so any donation you are willing to make to help offset its cost is appreciated. Just click the Donate button at the top of the page and it will take you directly to the paypal account so your donation can be gotten through your debit or cred...
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John
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5
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776
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I don't believe it- well, I guess I do
(Preview)
Left to practice in the church praise band for Christmas Eve service at 4 today. Wife was to come join me at the 8:00service. At 7:50 whenshe wasn't there I knew what had probably happened. Then she got there, I saw her for one moment, but she never came said hi to me, just went home immediately afterwa...
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KennyFenderjazz
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9
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562
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grateful
(Preview)
I am grateful for ...
Being a non smoker for 3 months, I'm finally taking better care of me.
Having my alanon group, who are steadily becoming good friends.
Having hope that I can recover from negative, fearful thinking.
Having a job that I love.
Being independent, looking after myself.
Health...
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el-cee
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4
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317
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Merry Christmas!
(Preview)
To all my fellow Anons, Alkies and ACOAs everywhere, I hope your HP. Has blessed your day with peace!
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AlAnonDave
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4
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266
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Things that don't mix - a Christmas funny too good not to pass on.
(Preview)
Last night we were enjoying our not good for you snacking; my daughter sampled the chocolate covered blueberry cordials - declared them oh so good and we were in the kitchen chatting and cutting and she absentmindedly reaches into a dish and pops something in her mouth - following the super sweet blue...
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likemyheart
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2
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368
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Just for today... Christmas Day
(Preview)
While many will be making some wonderful memories, I know there are those out there who will be getting up and struggling to deal with our alcoholic iour life drinking, whether it is because of celebration or misery. To them today is an excuse to drinking, like they need one. My words to al of you out ther...
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hdftby100
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7
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283
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Christmas for me
(Preview)
Good Morning Today I'm going to do nothing but sit on my behind and enjoy the peace I have right now. I want to do a little step work....journaling....and just relax and pray. Also need to watch TV, eat lobster and shrimp for dinner.....yep..thats what I bought for Christmas dinner. I don't want to cal...
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Cathyinaz
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5
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377
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confused! :0
(Preview)
hi all i am new to this as of tonight. i want to start by being very grateful for this site. now as short story as i can, my husband has been drinking for afew years now. he works and we do not have finacial problems due to his habit. his new thing is lying to me about drinking whiskey. i found out that he had dran...
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lulu0603
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5
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362
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Tough decision
(Preview)
My Abf/fiancé decided to go into an inpatient alcohol & mental health program last night. I moved out of our home 6 weeks ago after a violent episode & only took my clothes & a few of my kids keepsakes. While I have explained to him repeatedly that we may likely never live together again he is...
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AngieP
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6
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449
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Christmas, My Way
(Preview)
8 am Christmas morning, second try, watch those fingers Ann, dont want to hit the exit button accidentally again! I shoveled my snow already but its already re-covered my porch, but it is fun shoveling because the dopey dog tries to catch every shovelful of snow jumping in the air at each attempt. Watc...
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likemyheart
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2
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412
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Christmas is tough, but....
(Preview)
I had the most wonderful Christmas eve evening with my kids and community tonight. A little nativity skit that the kids got to do, lots of singing, my sober 5 yrs husband taking pictures while I narrated the skit for the kids. It was wonderful and all made possible by Al-Anon and my MIP family. Without Al...
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Jen
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2
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317
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Son is calling
(Preview)
I can only pray I'm doing the right thing but my son is calling and I will not answer. He needs to know I'm not going to rescue him anymore if he's sick or if not he has not bothered to let me know he was OK and wanted to plan to come for Christmas. It's his deal now and I have to be strong. It's the only thing I ca...
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Cathyinaz
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12
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451
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Happy Holiday
(Preview)
Dear MIP Family I woul like to wish each and every one of my MIIP Family a Blessed, Peaceful Holiday Season and a wonderful New Year
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hotrod
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6
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252
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Trying to get past my anger
(Preview)
My husband been sober 45 days and that's wonderful this is what I alway wanted for him. I never thought it would change me. My depression is worst . I seem to carry his pain on top of mine with no break and a happy day. When he comes home pissed off and SLAMING things and gets kids up set then mad at me because I'...
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RR67
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3
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341
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Merry Christmas to all!
(Preview)
No matter how you celebrate the holiday, may you find peace & joy! It may just be the holiday season to some, but remember to touch your fellow man in some way. It is not just the time of giving but forgiving, loving & sharing special moments. I am feeling a little alone this year. My dad is gone, my...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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243
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What to do about Christmas?
(Preview)
So here I am doing my own thing and trying to find a place to live that isn't on my parent's dime. I have to leave here in a few days and I have b arely enough money to get a room somewhere. Yet I know God will provide for me if my motives are right. I guess my father thinks I am going to go into yet another living sit...
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WorkingThroughIt
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3
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322
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CHRISTMAS DAY CHAT SUPPORT
(Preview)
There will be ongoing activity in the alanon chat room for today. Room operators will be present (or lurking) so come on in if you feel the need to chat. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC...
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Overcome
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0
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759
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The most comforting dream...
(Preview)
had the most horrible day yesterday, still feeling a bit sick about it all (posted prev all the gory details). Woke up at silly o'clock read alot of CAL as the anxiety from the day was still with me, alot on step 1-3. prayed and tried to sleep...woke up from the most loving dream. My home group that i hav...
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Zimmy
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0
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282
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Worry is the hardest to overcome
(Preview)
I sit here and worry about my son when there nothing I can do. It's been one of the hardest things to overcome. I read, journal and pray to God to help me let go because it won't help only make my day miserable. I come here and write in hopes it will help me a little. At my age you would think that Bdays are o...
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Cathyinaz
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7
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336
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trying to do my best
(Preview)
my dear mom passed away on the 22 of nov. 1 day before thanksgiving,its been really hard this year to make through the rest of these holidays without her she was my world now its like my world has collapsed with out her,im trying to do my best in staying as busy as i can to keep myself focused on myself now and...
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chinup
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4
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441
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