Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tortuga · tortuga

I draw my finishing line on Christmas in my realtionship with the ABF. Now I am hoem in my hometown for the holidays, far away. and I feel I am breathing again. But he sends me texts and emails, an even if he agreed to break up after the huge fight, he now seems to be back in denial again, and he also thinks he h...

Number30 · Number30

This is my first time posting, although I've been reading the forum daily for a few weeks. I am married to my AddictH and started going to Al-Anon a few weeks ago when he relapsed after a week of being clean. During that withdrawl he begged for help (this was only his second major withdrawl since he began u...

broken apart · broken apart

Last night I had a hard time going to sleep because my AH. Wanted me only. Kids come to the locked bedroom door because now that he is 45 days sober he started new routines that make me feel trapped again. The kids don't bother me now because dad says leave her alone your stressing her out and shut and locks d...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am determined to continue working my program in 2013. I have learned so much from Al Anon and from these boards and from the wonderful supportive people here on MIP. I came home from being away 4 days and found chaos in the house. Broken framed print from Italy that I cherished and got custom framed....

imom · imom

I am just wondering what the alanon steps would suggest I do when I found a bottle of percocet and methadone. Of course, I called him out on it and started a big family fight.Of course he insisted that he is not addicted and of course he asked me to be in charge of them and to hand them out to him when needed to...

Abtmc · Abtmc

I'm new and I'm here bc I'm desperate for support and advice. I just don't know what to do. My husband loves to drink -always has. It's led to frequent fights between us as Ive realized how he just can't/won't stop. He says he loves it, knows it's a problem but never wants to be one of those people who don't...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been away from this board for about a year and a half. I've saved up a whole pile of ESH, thinking I'd come back here one experience at a time, but a recent experience changes that. I first came 6 years ago as my exAH's alcoholism came to light, and he was having an affair. He entered a strict 5 yr program...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone I called my son last night and we had a nice talk. He was sober so it was nice. We talked about him and AA and he has decided not to attend which I was disappointed about this but it's his decision. What I have have to do is change more. I don't need to avoid him anymore. I need to ex...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

MOM is home & I think it is going to be better. She has been gone for about a month & just got home on Thurs. I am waiting for her to arrive at the library so we can get together after I get off of here. I really missed her this time & think I will have a new appreciation of her. It may not last but I am go...

rehprof · rehprof

I'd have no luck at all. Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come). My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks... I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday....

hotrod · hotrod

Step 6 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52063114/step-6-alanon/ Feel free to join us and share your ESH

AllieinAlanon · AllieinAlanon

Because this morning, instead of trying to be there for my roommate when I needed to be there for myself today, I was there for myself. He was in a stinky mood again and I did not buy it. I simply said good morning and then went back to my computer and my work. I am sorry for his struggle, but I have to let him st...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I texted (our only form of communication) the exAH that due to his continued alcohol and drug abuse issues and per the therapists recommendation that visitation would cease. He could take me in for contempt of court and we would go have a discussion with Donna (she's our mediator.) I spoke with the m...

Kim8663 · Kim8663

Hi all I am new to this site. My husband has been an alcoholic for many many years. Last August he got really sick to the point where if he continued drinking he would die. He finally decided to get help and he has been sober for just a little over a year . With the Christmas holidays he had a relapse.... He is s...

karren26 · karren26

After 22 years of drinking, raising kids and hubby having horrible relationship with my son. Which was a handful to say the least. My husband and I got together when my son was 4 months. My husband was on him hard, I was always in the middle. My son in high school stayed away from home as much as he could. Me...

broken apart · broken apart

I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...

Pushka · Pushka

There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...

uniresearch · uniresearch

Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...

broken apart · broken apart

It's not him . It's me .

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...

cinders · cinders

Going thru my first days alone since the seperation 6 weeks ago. Kids went to their fathers house yesterday and will not be back till Saturday. I had all these glorious plans to finish unpacking my bedroom and get it painted, now I am stalled and can't seem to find the motivation. Feeling a bit lonely...

el-cee · el-cee

My x ah has been drinking again and I have had very limited contact with him for about 6 mths. Anyway, we spent Xmas day together for the sake of the family. We had a good talk and he is going back to aa and is hoping to get sober again. I believe he really wants to but he often feels justified in drinking due to '...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed...

ambosbeth · ambosbeth

My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we met. He says, you met me like this, so whats the problem. My problem is we have two sons (of whick he adopted from my previous marriage) and a 4 yr old daughter. Currently he is going to AA and trying his best. I go to meetings when I can find the time...which...

oldergal · oldergal

When I think I've had enough and feel I'm sick and tired of this disease, and I don't want to do this anymore I think of this woman... The year 2000 in Mozambique when the Zambezi River flooded and killed 50,000 people 20,000 cattle, destroyed farmland worse flood in 50 years. But a woman survived during...

Onor · Onor

Hi, I have three alcoholics in my life and just turned a year at alanon. Tonight called at 00:29 my youngest and extreemly beloved brother ( who had told me he had a drinking problem & had had a relapse and was desperate about it). He is in town for Christmas, I hadn't seen him drunk as he lives in anothe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

In english that is Merry Christmas and that is how we say it in Hawaii. My heart is full sending this wish along with prayers for you all because of what this Ohana (family) has mean't to me and my recovery. Al-Anon is the "greatest gift" I've been allowed to have and MIP is a big part of the fou...

teachmath · teachmath

I have dated my boyfriend for a year, during which time he finalized his divorce, moved into his own place and got a great job. It was also his first year of sobriety. During this entire year I have helped and supported him to deal with his illness, divorce, kids, even letting him stay here for along per...

Katy · Katy

So now my dear son is behaving like his father and his father has no humility or understanding of how or why he got to be like this, so my husband gave my son money for drink to celibrate christmas and told him to have a good time adn not to let him down, but as we know a drinker cannot regulate his imput and once...

Taylo · Taylo

Help. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic (sober 2 years), and doesn't get along with my parents. He attended family Christmas with me and all went well- he tries really hard. We have two dogs and have been together for a year. We recently lost our jobs (going out of business) and have had some issu...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My neighbor ordered a new garbage can from the store that I sometimes work at. Guess what they gave me for Christmas? They had noticed that the bottom was rotted out of my can and bought me a can, on wheels, with locking lid to keep the dogs out. Ok so I'm floored, blessed, happy, wow. Cheers!

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I happen to deal with a lot of people who perfect manipulation to a science. They will try to get me not to trust myself. I always recognize it and sometimes I do well off-setting it, other times not so much. When someone is trying to manipulate you what are some good Conversation Enders you use?

tired of trying · tired of trying

So my husband had his 5th relaspe in as many years. Spent almost 3 weeks drinking a gallon of rum a day, after the first couple days-I had him move out. So after 3 weeks he gets sick, sobers up and agrees he needs long term treatment as AA by itself hasn't worked-because he stops after a couple months. So he g...

bel25 · bel25

Hi i dont know what to do anymore or what im expecting from posting this really. Here's my story: Im with my husband 6 years married 1 1/2. We have 2 kids together and another 1 on the way. He's sober now 13mths and is attending AA. I attended a couple of Al-anon meetings at the beginning of this year but to b...

Minaret · Minaret

Hi Everyone, Sorry, long post. Just need to get some stuff out. I was just thinking this morning that there must be some kind of message my HP is trying to tell me, although I have had a hard time with faith in a HP over the last ten years. I've been thinking about all the alcoholic...

life_is_good · life_is_good

I have been separated from my husband of 19 yrs after asking him to make the choice of alcohol or his family. I wasn't prepared for his answer that he didn't have a problem and wouldn't stop drinking. I have attended face to face meetings from that day on 4 months ago. I had been lurking on this board lookin...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good read in ODAT for Christmas Day. I'm asked alot about my motives and this passage helped me think on this day when I wanted to call my son and interrogate about how he felt and what he was doing and if he was OK....etc etc etc. I didn't go there! Thank you God.....nice Christmas gift to let go and thi...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In the week leading up to Christmas one of my neighbors died very suddenly. He was an active drug user but most of all he did not take care of himself. His antics, making noise, having people over at all times of the day and night affected me. I was also affected by his "begging" for stuff lik...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

My alcoholic/addict newly sober daughter spent Xmas with us, and I think the reality of us having custody of her child and the fact that she can't live with us was soaking in all weekend. She spent all her energy trying to control the situation, sulking, generally acting miserable the whole time and be...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I invited my a/a daughter for Christmas dinner, my a/a son was here from out of town, he isn't using at this time, use to be addicted to crack. He and my male friend had gone to her apt. on Mon. and she said she was coming. We cooked a lot of food, on Christmas my son called her and she had changed her mind, sayi...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi, my name is Slogan Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the last couple of months Ive noticed a trend in certain people around me. Everyone seems to want the most for doing the least. Everyone seems to feel they are entitled to certain things in life, things that for those who have them, have w...

tortuga · tortuga

...sadness, worry, fear, anger, confusion! That's what I'm left with today, after ABF showed up yesterday for Christmas Eve. He was all confused and still trying to make me believe that I am the most selfish woman on earth, for taking care of me first. He still blames me for his relapse last week, he is b...

littlehob · littlehob

Hi, My partner is in AA and was off drink for about a year then slipped, lost license and has been slipping on and off for sometime.mshe continually lies about drink even when I have found the bottles( must stop searching, thought Inhad got over this). She is taking tablets that are supposed to make her...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Well here I sit, no TV, no furniture, no car, a frozen pizza in the house, my computer set up on the floor lying down typing to you (rather uncomfortably I might add.) There are all sorts of people I can blame...the last 2 landlords who had apartments with toxic mold that ruined all my belongings and got me...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

MY CAPS LOCK STICKS, OH WELL. I BROKE UP WITH MY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I WAS FEELING IT WAS HEADED TOWARDS SOMETHING NOT WHAT I WANTED ANY LONGER, IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO HURT HIM, IT DID HAVE TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT THOUGH, NOT GREAT TIMING TO DO IT, I KNOW. IT HAD TO GET DONE AND YESTERDAY WAS THE FI...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

This may seem like a very odd question. How do you wives live with an alcoholic husband and live your life without having him affect you. I have used detachment but that makes me feel like we are roomates, not husband and wife. What's the point? I have been to Al-Anon meetings and many wives cannot liv...

Hope123 · Hope123

Three years ago yesterday I attended my first Al-Anon meeting after discovering that my father was an alcoholic. Now, less than 2 years into my marriage, I am finding myself in need of similiar support, but now as a result of my husband who I believe is addicted to marijuana. I know that this is more fo...

tortuga · tortuga

yes most of the time I used to think am not worth loving, even though I don't feel I am a bad person. I feel often very lonely inside, and started my recovery 8 years ago, when I hit bottom in a depression. I then started a journey of discovery of my own, I learn to love and accept, along that route many people a...

broken apart · broken apart

I don't like how things have changed for me. I don't see it getting better. I am trying my best to survive everyday that my partner stays sober and I stay sane . When does the controll stop ? The drink is gone but the controll has been activated and I am drowning in the old drink

abbyalana · abbyalana

After the Xmas ridiculousness with the exAH it has come to a head. I spoke with the court mediator today about the situation and she said based on the therapists recommendation, things I shared that have occured and this weekend's recent BS that I yank all visitation with our child. She said he is no...

John · John

Hello everyone, Yes, it is time to pay our bills again for the site, so any donation you are willing to make to help offset its cost is appreciated. Just click the Donate button at the top of the page and it will take you directly to the paypal account so your donation can be gotten through your debit or cred...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

Left to practice in the church praise band for Christmas Eve service at 4 today. Wife was to come join me at the 8:00service. At 7:50 whenshe wasn't there I knew what had probably happened. Then she got there, I saw her for one moment, but she never came said hi to me, just went home immediately afterwa...

el-cee · el-cee

I am grateful for ... Being a non smoker for 3 months, I'm finally taking better care of me. Having my alanon group, who are steadily becoming good friends. Having hope that I can recover from negative, fearful thinking. Having a job that I love. Being independent, looking after myself. Health...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

To all my fellow Anons, Alkies and ACOAs everywhere, I hope your HP. Has blessed your day with peace!

likemyheart · likemyheart

Last night we were enjoying our not good for you snacking; my daughter sampled the chocolate covered blueberry cordials - declared them oh so good and we were in the kitchen chatting and cutting and she absentmindedly reaches into a dish and pops something in her mouth - following the super sweet blue...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	what can I do to keep the peace?...and Happy New Year to all Family! (Preview) I draw my finishing line on Christmas in my realtionship with the ABF. Now I am hoem in my hometown for the holidays, far away. and I feel I am breathing again. But he sends me texts and emails, an even if he agreed to break up after the huge fight, he now seems to be back in denial again, and he also thinks he h...	tortuga	5	357	Dec 31, 2012 by Doozy
	The crossroads - advice needed (Preview) This is my first time posting, although I've been reading the forum daily for a few weeks. I am married to my AddictH and started going to Al-Anon a few weeks ago when he relapsed after a week of being clean. During that withdrawl he begged for help (this was only his second major withdrawl since he began u...	Number30	4	386	Dec 31, 2012 by tired of trying
	Woke up feeling tired (Preview) Last night I had a hard time going to sleep because my AH. Wanted me only. Kids come to the locked bedroom door because now that he is 45 days sober he started new routines that make me feel trapped again. The kids don't bother me now because dad says leave her alone your stressing her out and shut and locks d...	broken apart	5	463	Dec 31, 2012 by imom
	Finding serenity in the new year (Preview) I am determined to continue working my program in 2013. I have learned so much from Al Anon and from these boards and from the wonderful supportive people here on MIP. I came home from being away 4 days and found chaos in the house. Broken framed print from Italy that I cherished and got custom framed....	ilovedogs	4	348	Dec 31, 2012 by Pushka
	alanon perspective (Preview) I am just wondering what the alanon steps would suggest I do when I found a bottle of percocet and methadone. Of course, I called him out on it and started a big family fight.Of course he insisted that he is not addicted and of course he asked me to be in charge of them and to hand them out to him when needed to...	imom	3	323	Dec 31, 2012 by Jerry F
	Pregnant and a husband with an alcohol problem (Preview) I'm new and I'm here bc I'm desperate for support and advice. I just don't know what to do. My husband loves to drink -always has. It's led to frequent fights between us as Ive realized how he just can't/won't stop. He says he loves it, knows it's a problem but never wants to be one of those people who don't...	Abtmc	12	401	Dec 31, 2012 by Findinghope
	Me vs Relapse (Preview) I've been away from this board for about a year and a half. I've saved up a whole pile of ESH, thinking I'd come back here one experience at a time, but a recent experience changes that. I first came 6 years ago as my exAH's alcoholism came to light, and he was having an affair. He entered a strict 5 yr program...	Loupiness	5	427	Dec 31, 2012 by oldergal
	My son and me (Preview) Good Morning everyone I called my son last night and we had a nice talk. He was sober so it was nice. We talked about him and AA and he has decided not to attend which I was disappointed about this but it's his decision. What I have have to do is change more. I don't need to avoid him anymore. I need to ex...	Cathyinaz	6	312	Dec 31, 2012 by sheristeele
	MOM is home & I think... (Preview) MOM is home & I think it is going to be better. She has been gone for about a month & just got home on Thurs. I am waiting for her to arrive at the library so we can get together after I get off of here. I really missed her this time & think I will have a new appreciation of her. It may not last but I am go...	Hoot Nanny	1	394	Dec 30, 2012 by hotrod
	If it weren't for bad luck.... (Preview) I'd have no luck at all. Blizzard here in New England...so this a.m. I spent 2 hours shoveling and clearing snow (it cost $50 to $75 a storm for a plow truck to come). My house is trashed with Christmas crap...wrapping paper, knick knacks... I have hundreds of papers to grade...as grades are due Sunday....	rehprof	8	354	Dec 30, 2012 by Pushka
	Step 6 (Preview) Step 6 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52063114/step-6-alanon/ Feel free to join us and share your ESH	hotrod	0	213	Dec 29, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon must be working (Preview) Because this morning, instead of trying to be there for my roommate when I needed to be there for myself today, I was there for myself. He was in a stinky mood again and I did not buy it. I simply said good morning and then went back to my computer and my work. I am sorry for his struggle, but I have to let him st...	AllieinAlanon	2	293	Dec 29, 2012 by Michelle814
	How do I explain this to my 12 year old? (Preview) I texted (our only form of communication) the exAH that due to his continued alcohol and drug abuse issues and per the therapists recommendation that visitation would cease. He could take me in for contempt of court and we would go have a discussion with Donna (she's our mediator.) I spoke with the m...	abbyalana	7	493	Dec 29, 2012 by Desirae
	Help!!! my recoverying alcoholic is on the verge of a relapse (Preview) Hi all I am new to this site. My husband has been an alcoholic for many many years. Last August he got really sick to the point where if he continued drinking he would die. He finally decided to get help and he has been sober for just a little over a year . With the Christmas holidays he had a relapse.... He is s...	Kim8663	4	558	Dec 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	This must be a new phase of the disease (Preview) After 22 years of drinking, raising kids and hubby having horrible relationship with my son. Which was a handful to say the least. My husband and I got together when my son was 4 months. My husband was on him hard, I was always in the middle. My son in high school stayed away from home as much as he could. Me...	karren26	11	732	Dec 29, 2012 by karren26
	Don't have a clear mind (Preview) I feel so dum stupid so confused about everything . Never had a chance to have my own independence . I went from a strong controlled catholic home. To a marrage with a AH. Years of controll and not able to speak unless asked for permission. Took years to say I want a divorce.. That was tough for me. I was divo...	broken apart	3	246	Dec 29, 2012 by hotrod
	I will be okay no matter what! (Preview) I have learned and grown so much since finding al-anon 2 years ago. I have come out of the land of make believe to the land of reality and accept it as it is. I am making my life what I want it to be, I am not waiting for anyone else to make these changes. I am making the changes I can within myself and life just kee...	Breakingfree	6	341	Dec 29, 2012 by wp
	Being a double winner sure is tough... (Preview) Ive only just recently become a member of AlAnon, mostly due to my AA sponsor seeing some problems with me emotionally and having enough insight to see that it was AlAnon & ACOA issues coming up, and Im grateful for that. I had told him I felt guilty asserting myself on my daughter who Ive posted abou...	AlAnonDave	1	345	Dec 29, 2012 by Mobirdie
	New Year coming :) (Preview) There is a new year coming and I felt hopeful in 2011 heading into 2012. I had just been to visit my mom, I was trying to improve my marriage and I felt like ok .. I have a plan coming into the new year. The reality of my new year? I was a year into Alanon and I started attending open AA meetings in Jan as well....	Pushka	3	318	Dec 28, 2012 by Annie1234
	A special Christmas gift. (Preview) Hi everyone. I haven't been on for a couple of weeks. My husband went to a few meetings, and then, on December 16th, he went to a football party and drank himself into a stupor. Not only that, but he also drove. I told him the next morning that I was finished with it, and will not tolerate it any longer. ...	Annie1234	6	240	Dec 28, 2012 by Annie1234
	Research Opportunity (Preview) Hello,I am new to this community and conducting a research project on parent-child communication during difficult times. I would greatly appreciate anyone who is interested to complete the surveyat the link below. It should not take more than 20 minutes and is completely anonymous and confiden...	uniresearch	2	228	Dec 28, 2012 by xeno59
	Just looking for someone to listen/read. (Preview) Hi Everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I havn't been out to a meeting in awhile with the holidays in full effect. There was a massive snowstorm in my area and my car is burried until tomorrow when I can dig it out Overall the holidays went well. Me and my sister got together with my dad and he lasted the entir...	slogan_jim	4	532	Dec 28, 2012 by pinkchip
	- turns into a + which now=. (Preview) It's not him . It's me .	broken apart	13	583	Dec 28, 2012 by broken apart
	If I want it different; I have to MAKE it different! (Preview) I was just thinking this after the holiday: If I want a change, I have to change the situation. I typically had problems dealing w/ my family again this year. I called them & found myself feeling terrible & very sad. I felt so left out as usual--I live about 900 miles away from them & will prob...	Hoot Nanny	3	376	Dec 28, 2012 by Overcome
	HP timing is not always what we expect (Preview) I've shared that my exH (who was dry for 15 years of marraige and is now developing into a fully wet alcoholic) is very abusive to my 3 boys. Years of court fights ended up with CA going with "access to both parents" over the safety of my children. The abuse destroyed my middle son the most, he...	AStrongerMe	3	275	Dec 28, 2012 by Overcome
	I don't want to do this....but I can (Preview) Going thru my first days alone since the seperation 6 weeks ago. Kids went to their fathers house yesterday and will not be back till Saturday. I had all these glorious plans to finish unpacking my bedroom and get it painted, now I am stalled and can't seem to find the motivation. Feeling a bit lonely...	cinders	6	308	Dec 28, 2012 by Pushka
	sober...again! (Preview) My x ah has been drinking again and I have had very limited contact with him for about 6 mths. Anyway, we spent Xmas day together for the sake of the family. We had a good talk and he is going back to aa and is hoping to get sober again. I believe he really wants to but he often feels justified in drinking due to '...	el-cee	5	404	Dec 28, 2012 by tired of trying
	Is it possible that HP has a plan for ME? (Preview) For most of the last 20+ years I have been a stay at home mom helping my STBExAH with his business and career. When I met him and quickly got pregnant all those years ago, I was a college student almost ready to graduate with my bachelors degree. However, after a six year marriage to my first exAH I believed...	TryingToChange	5	402	Dec 28, 2012 by TryingToChange
	What more can I do? (Preview) My husband has been an alcoholic ever since we met. He says, you met me like this, so whats the problem. My problem is we have two sons (of whick he adopted from my previous marriage) and a 4 yr old daughter. Currently he is going to AA and trying his best. I go to meetings when I can find the time...which...	ambosbeth	6	363	Dec 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Story of flood and Adversity when I feel Defeated.... (Preview) When I think I've had enough and feel I'm sick and tired of this disease, and I don't want to do this anymore I think of this woman... The year 2000 in Mozambique when the Zambezi River flooded and killed 50,000 people 20,000 cattle, destroyed farmland worse flood in 50 years. But a woman survived during...	oldergal	3	267	Dec 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	help, please! terrified for my alcoholic desperate fear protection (Preview) Hi, I have three alcoholics in my life and just turned a year at alanon. Tonight called at 00:29 my youngest and extreemly beloved brother ( who had told me he had a drinking problem & had had a relapse and was desperate about it). He is in town for Christmas, I hadn't seen him drunk as he lives in anothe...	Onor	7	7940	Dec 28, 2012 by orchidlover
	Mele Kalikimaka ... (Preview) In english that is Merry Christmas and that is how we say it in Hawaii. My heart is full sending this wish along with prayers for you all because of what this Ohana (family) has mean't to me and my recovery. Al-Anon is the "greatest gift" I've been allowed to have and MIP is a big part of the fou...	Jerry F	9	386	Dec 28, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Things are not going well after a year (Preview) I have dated my boyfriend for a year, during which time he finalized his divorce, moved into his own place and got a great job. It was also his first year of sobriety. During this entire year I have helped and supported him to deal with his illness, divorce, kids, even letting him stay here for along per...	teachmath	10	387	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
	our son (Preview) So now my dear son is behaving like his father and his father has no humility or understanding of how or why he got to be like this, so my husband gave my son money for drink to celibrate christmas and told him to have a good time adn not to let him down, but as we know a drinker cannot regulate his imput and once...	Katy	2	414	Dec 27, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Christmas Heartbreak (Preview) Help. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic (sober 2 years), and doesn't get along with my parents. He attended family Christmas with me and all went well- he tries really hard. We have two dogs and have been together for a year. We recently lost our jobs (going out of business) and have had some issu...	Taylo	8	490	Dec 27, 2012 by Taylo
	I got a garbage can for christmas! (Preview) My neighbor ordered a new garbage can from the store that I sometimes work at. Guess what they gave me for Christmas? They had noticed that the bottom was rotted out of my can and bought me a can, on wheels, with locking lid to keep the dogs out. Ok so I'm floored, blessed, happy, wow. Cheers!	likemyheart	5	456	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
	Alanon Tools - "Conversation Enders" (Preview) I happen to deal with a lot of people who perfect manipulation to a science. They will try to get me not to trust myself. I always recognize it and sometimes I do well off-setting it, other times not so much. When someone is trying to manipulate you what are some good Conversation Enders you use?	WorkingThroughIt	9	1338	Dec 27, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	what do you think (Preview) So my husband had his 5th relaspe in as many years. Spent almost 3 weeks drinking a gallon of rum a day, after the first couple days-I had him move out. So after 3 weeks he gets sick, sobers up and agrees he needs long term treatment as AA by itself hasn't worked-because he stops after a couple months. So he g...	tired of trying	8	291	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	I think i need help! (Preview) Hi i dont know what to do anymore or what im expecting from posting this really. Here's my story: Im with my husband 6 years married 1 1/2. We have 2 kids together and another 1 on the way. He's sober now 13mths and is attending AA. I attended a couple of Al-anon meetings at the beginning of this year but to b...	bel25	7	301	Dec 27, 2012 by bel25
	Literally surrounded by alcoholics (Preview) Hi Everyone, Sorry, long post. Just need to get some stuff out. I was just thinking this morning that there must be some kind of message my HP is trying to tell me, although I have had a hard time with faith in a HP over the last ten years. I've been thinking about all the alcoholic...	Minaret	3	420	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	From this day forward (Preview) I have been separated from my husband of 19 yrs after asking him to make the choice of alcohol or his family. I wasn't prepared for his answer that he didn't have a problem and wouldn't stop drinking. I have attended face to face meetings from that day on 4 months ago. I had been lurking on this board lookin...	life_is_good	4	547	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	ODAT December 25 (Preview) Good read in ODAT for Christmas Day. I'm asked alot about my motives and this passage helped me think on this day when I wanted to call my son and interrogate about how he felt and what he was doing and if he was OK....etc etc etc. I didn't go there! Thank you God.....nice Christmas gift to let go and thi...	Cathyinaz	2	266	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	Denial at work (Preview) In the week leading up to Christmas one of my neighbors died very suddenly. He was an active drug user but most of all he did not take care of himself. His antics, making noise, having people over at all times of the day and night affected me. I was also affected by his "begging" for stuff lik...	orchidlover	5	403	Dec 27, 2012 by Jen
	Daughter spent Christmas with us (Preview) My alcoholic/addict newly sober daughter spent Xmas with us, and I think the reality of us having custody of her child and the fact that she can't live with us was soaking in all weekend. She spent all her energy trying to control the situation, sulking, generally acting miserable the whole time and be...	AlAnonDave	4	383	Dec 27, 2012 by hotrod
	I think I'm "getting it" (Preview) I invited my a/a daughter for Christmas dinner, my a/a son was here from out of town, he isn't using at this time, use to be addicted to crack. He and my male friend had gone to her apt. on Mon. and she said she was coming. We cooked a lot of food, on Christmas my son called her and she had changed her mind, sayi...	Highlyfavored	3	299	Dec 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	Sense of entitlement (share) (Preview) Hi, my name is Slogan Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.Over the last couple of months Ive noticed a trend in certain people around me. Everyone seems to want the most for doing the least. Everyone seems to feel they are entitled to certain things in life, things that for those who have them, have w...	slogan_jim	3	395	Dec 27, 2012 by Minaret
	broken!in tears... (Preview) ...sadness, worry, fear, anger, confusion! That's what I'm left with today, after ABF showed up yesterday for Christmas Eve. He was all confused and still trying to make me believe that I am the most selfish woman on earth, for taking care of me first. He still blames me for his relapse last week, he is b...	tortuga	8	539	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Does She believe she can drink? (Preview) Hi, My partner is in AA and was off drink for about a year then slipped, lost license and has been slipping on and off for sometime.mshe continually lies about drink even when I have found the bottles( must stop searching, thought Inhad got over this). She is taking tablets that are supposed to make her...	littlehob	5	388	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	My Christmas (Preview) Well here I sit, no TV, no furniture, no car, a frozen pizza in the house, my computer set up on the floor lying down typing to you (rather uncomfortably I might add.) There are all sorts of people I can blame...the last 2 landlords who had apartments with toxic mold that ruined all my belongings and got me...	WorkingThroughIt	8	436	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	I chose to spend Christmas alone (Preview) MY CAPS LOCK STICKS, OH WELL. I BROKE UP WITH MY CURRENT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I WAS FEELING IT WAS HEADED TOWARDS SOMETHING NOT WHAT I WANTED ANY LONGER, IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO HURT HIM, IT DID HAVE TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT THOUGH, NOT GREAT TIMING TO DO IT, I KNOW. IT HAD TO GET DONE AND YESTERDAY WAS THE FI...	Breakingfree	7	430	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	HOW DO YOU STAY WITH ALCOHOLIC HUSBAND? (Preview) This may seem like a very odd question. How do you wives live with an alcoholic husband and live your life without having him affect you. I have used detachment but that makes me feel like we are roomates, not husband and wife. What's the point? I have been to Al-Anon meetings and many wives cannot liv...	wifeofalcoholic	9	634	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Hopelessly Lost... (Preview) Three years ago yesterday I attended my first Al-Anon meeting after discovering that my father was an alcoholic. Now, less than 2 years into my marriage, I am finding myself in need of similiar support, but now as a result of my husband who I believe is addicted to marijuana. I know that this is more fo...	Hope123	8	463	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	and now?...the way forward (Preview) yes most of the time I used to think am not worth loving, even though I don't feel I am a bad person. I feel often very lonely inside, and started my recovery 8 years ago, when I hit bottom in a depression. I then started a journey of discovery of my own, I learn to love and accept, along that route many people a...	tortuga	3	321	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Stop controlling (Preview) I don't like how things have changed for me. I don't see it getting better. I am trying my best to survive everyday that my partner stays sober and I stay sane . When does the controll stop ? The drink is gone but the controll has been activated and I am drowning in the old drink	broken apart	3	250	Dec 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	It's come to a head. (Preview) After the Xmas ridiculousness with the exAH it has come to a head. I spoke with the court mediator today about the situation and she said based on the therapists recommendation, things I shared that have occured and this weekend's recent BS that I yank all visitation with our child. She said he is no...	abbyalana	2	238	Dec 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Donations Needed (Preview) Hello everyone, Yes, it is time to pay our bills again for the site, so any donation you are willing to make to help offset its cost is appreciated. Just click the Donate button at the top of the page and it will take you directly to the paypal account so your donation can be gotten through your debit or cred...	John	5	786	Dec 26, 2012 by Pushka
	I don't believe it- well, I guess I do (Preview) Left to practice in the church praise band for Christmas Eve service at 4 today. Wife was to come join me at the 8:00service. At 7:50 whenshe wasn't there I knew what had probably happened. Then she got there, I saw her for one moment, but she never came said hi to me, just went home immediately afterwa...	KennyFenderjazz	9	578	Dec 26, 2012 by Pushka
	grateful (Preview) I am grateful for ... Being a non smoker for 3 months, I'm finally taking better care of me. Having my alanon group, who are steadily becoming good friends. Having hope that I can recover from negative, fearful thinking. Having a job that I love. Being independent, looking after myself. Health...	el-cee	4	330	Dec 26, 2012 by eclipse
	Merry Christmas! (Preview) To all my fellow Anons, Alkies and ACOAs everywhere, I hope your HP. Has blessed your day with peace!	AlAnonDave	4	279	Dec 26, 2012 by Jerry F
	Things that don't mix - a Christmas funny too good not to pass on. (Preview) Last night we were enjoying our not good for you snacking; my daughter sampled the chocolate covered blueberry cordials - declared them oh so good and we were in the kitchen chatting and cutting and she absentmindedly reaches into a dish and pops something in her mouth - following the super sweet blue...	likemyheart	2	396	Dec 26, 2012 by maryjane
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.