Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...

tortuga · tortuga

I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...

MorganManor · MorganManor

Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.

chayas · chayas

After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...

Jen · Jen

Our own Kathleen (aka Hoot Nanny) has just had her 27th Al-Anon birthday this month. Of course, Alanoner that I am, I got wrapped up in my own world and forgot her coin. I am ordering it now. He hehe. I just want to say Happy Birthday, Kathleen. You are a good friend. You have been there for me through so many...

tortuga · tortuga

i lost track. i can't judge anymore, i don't want to judge anymore. I can't feel anymore, i don' want to feel anymore. i can't think anymore. I don't want to think anymore. i thought i knew, and i know nothing. i thought I could trust myself, now i don't anymore. so much work, to end up where i started... in d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Anyone else?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I plan on spending my time staying focused on the good & definitely not on the bad. One of my friends who used to be in Alanon lost her dad on Thurs. She is a very specialy lady who always brings a smile to my face even though she is 900 miles away from me. She has a way about her that is contagious. I aspire t...

Pushka · Pushka

Now I say this .. LOL .. and let's hope it is so! No really I can't see any way this can be delayed anymore outside of him firing his atty or vise versa .. so we will see. I am saddened that it has had to come to this. My new atty is a lady and I really like her. I know .. LOL .. I said that about the last guy, .. she'...

tortuga · tortuga

I felt like posting everyday, every hour...so much has been going on since I last posted on Christmas, 1 week after by ABF relapse. so ABF has become Ex ABF...at least in MY life. He doesn't want to see it happen. I went away to my home for 2 weeks, the physical distance in this situation has done me GOOD. D...

Alicha · Alicha

has anyone ever experienced a relationship with somebody in rehab for drug and Alchol abuse?

ABCD · ABCD

A little history to help you understand where I'm at: My husband was not an everyday-drinker-type alcoholic. He mostly got drunk when away from home, traveling for business. When we would talk on the phone at night while he was away, I could tell he was drunk and accuse him of it, which yielded him lying...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

.............ALL i Could do was climb on board with my Higher Power. 2013 and I hope my feet are back on the ground. It works if we work it.

Sweet Pea · Sweet Pea

I honestly feel that my relationship with this man is over. Truth be told it has been over for many years. I no longer want to be in this relationship. I want to stand on my own two feet and distance myself from this madness. My only concern is for my young son. He threatens to take my son. It breaks my h...

el-cee · el-cee

Hello everyone, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but something has just clicked with me and I wanted to share it. I believe my HP is trying to tell me something that is probably really obvious to you guys. My HP is going to present me with new versions of the same problem until I find the right way to de...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I have seen a few posts recently and wanted to share my thoughts on something... Everyone here (EVERYONE) is a success story. I was told by my father many years ago nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. How true this is. Some work things out with the alcoholic in their life and the alcoholic...

serenityseeker15 · serenityseeker15

Hi Everyone, I am a Very Grateful Member of Al Anon Member for four years, nearly five... I have learnt so much in Al-Anon and with the help of the wonderful groups and a fabulous life coach, I have learnt so much and come through so much. As I have gotten much better myself, I am now becoming more and mor...

one_moment · one_moment

Everyday starts another journey for me. I am currently separated from my AH, but not by my choice that is something he chose. It continues to break my heart...today it feels like a mack truck ran it over. As I continue to work my program with 4 f2f meetings a week, daily reading, and visiting MIP multiple...

Katy · Katy

I went over to speak to him just wanted to say how happy I am for him, that he has kept his job and has stuck to it all week, but he said he wasn't speaking to me, it hurts but I feel that if my putting him out has kept him in his job and away from his fair weather friends, and safe, it's a small price to pay, Ideally I...

newwoman · newwoman

My love has only been away a week in a 90 day rehab program yet I feel like I am the one being punished. Granted the past 90 days with him had been pure hell, but I seem to be glossing over the bad, and miss him to the point I have shut down. I think I operated so long on sheer nervous energy that now that he has take...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...

abbyalana · abbyalana

She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...

createive · createive

Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...

Sweet Pea · Sweet Pea

Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...

kellyblue28 · kellyblue28

Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...

Beekee · Beekee

Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...

hopeful4ever · hopeful4ever

I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...

Jackie Z · Jackie Z

I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...

newwoman · newwoman

My love has been in rehab 8 days and I am losing my mind. I feel like a part of me has died. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop crying. I am so lost yet was so thrilled he went to rehab now I don't know who I am or how to function. This entire scenerio is so screwed up, I feel so helpless because I don't think I ever...

gardengirl56 · gardengirl56

I recently had a baby, and it the transition into parenthood is difficult with an alcoholic mother. I relate to my mother on an emotional and biological level, and I fear that I will become her as a mother myself. She want to be a part in my child's life but I told her she can't until she seeks help....she...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Some know I came to this board when I began dating a man who presented himself as a recovering, sober alcoholic. He appeared to be all he said then had a relapse early in our relationship and went to rehab and voluntarily stayed 60 days. What followed next was me getting into Al Anon (best thing I've eve...

jollyman · jollyman

Hi all , guess i just need to vent some frustration like so many others. My beautiful wife has been an alchoholic for around 6 years . Its just getting to much for me now . I really cant bear it any longer . I Love her with all my heart and it makes it all the more worse seeing the woman I married, the mother of o...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Here's a funny one! I received an email from Web MD that was titled "Signs You Worry Too Much". Does my computer sense my worries? So, I thought I would share where my brain is today. My AH has been sober for 30 days today! He is currently going through the DUI process for a second DUI. Tha...

Gette · Gette

Hi everyone, i'm new here on this forum and have been going to al-anon (fairly consistently) since May 2012. I've gone through so many changes of awareness it's unreal! I've been with my AHB for 5 years; he's been working his AA program for a good 2 yrs but has relapsed every so often. I don't know if its ha...

SaRw · SaRw

My AH checked himself into a treatment facility. His program will end on Tuesday. He is coming home. Up until about 3 months ago, I didn't even know that there was a serious problem. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think we were perfect, but I thought we had more good times than bad. Now he has 28 days of 2...

Fool4You · Fool4You

Hello everyone and thank you for all the wonderful insights and encouragement! I found this site just this past week and it has impacted me immensely. I was married for twenty years to an emotionally abusive man. He's not a drinker and I'm not much of one. I finally had enough when our daughter graduat...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Really. My therapist and I had a great conversation about this topic tonight and it's okay to be angry. I have been through so much and continue to go through so much and being angry is part of the process and it's OK. I have been so angry for weeks on end in awful and heavy flows and started to worry that it wa...

cinders · cinders

I have been doing fairly well with the changes of going from a married woman to a single woman. I have been with my AH for ten years and during that time there were some really good times. We were in love and I think in some ways still are. I am now starting to struggle with the lonliness of it all. I have no...

zanib · zanib

I don't know where to start. Basically, I've been in relationship with a herion addict for almost three years. I didn't even know he had drug problems until almost the second year. I told his family and they had an intervention for him and he went to rehab. He emerged from rehab and seemed to be doing well...

Old Timer · Old Timer

Hello everyone. Greetings to you and best wishes for the coming NewYear! We have had a rough go of several months. I did one positive, I quit a toxic position!:) My family members I am a caregiver for have been in and out of the hospital. I lost a relative thatI was very close to very unexpectedly C...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Some folks know what's going on with my daughter and us raising her daughter. The daughter lives in Maryland near us, and we have sole custody of the grand daughter because my daughter have her up so she could go back to Michigan to get back into partying. She lasted one day and absolutely HAD to co e right...

whitel6425 · whitel6425

My husband and I have been married for 22 years. He has just finished a detox and has entered a outpatient program. He has always been a drinker,but the past few years has gotten much worse. He was very good at hiding it. I always knew he drank, but had no idea how much. Was I in denial? I am not feeling...

1976love · 1976love

Without being to long I will try to describe my situation. I have an AH who has 2 A brother's and one brother that is married to a recovering addict. That would make her my sister-in-law. I am dealing with my AH fine, who is in his 6th week of recovery. My sister-in-law has been in recovery for well over a yea...

Photomum · Photomum

Hi: I'm new, from england and have never written in one of these forums. My husband is the Alcoholic. We were married 10 years ago. I kind of knew he was a heavy drinker but never realised that over those 10 years, he'd become abusive and start to get so drunk, he would pee his pants. He used to drink sociall...

Katy · Katy

He did come back last evening and demanded to be let in, we didn't, I worried about him all night it was so cold and was snowing, I felt pretty low this morning but being in work was a tonic, I keep thinking about the main reasons I cannot tolerate his bahviours anymore, his drinking comes before everythin...

imom · imom

Okay so I know that I am not the cause of his disease, but it's all I hear. He also keeps telling me how I need a psychiatric evaluation followed by medication. He blames me for his family not talking to him because I told them the things he was doing. My therapist told me that he is doing these things to take t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It never seems to get easier for me to say Goodbye to someone who passes away. I went to a funeral today complete w/ giving of the US flag & Taps which I cried from. There were so many emotional moments because this man was truly loved and very committed to our community. They even named a building afte...

milkwood · milkwood

Hi All, I've been really appreciating this site, thank you. A few weeks ago I was offered a new job and accepted. At the time AH was drinking spirits for breakfast! He has started the new year without any drink, which is great. We have lived with alcohol for nearly ten years and after all the usual ups an...

oldergal · oldergal

My Ason 29 is having marital troubles and probably will be separating real soon. I am sick to my stomach that he may be heading my way for a temporary shelter. He's only been married for 6 months to an incredibly beautiful, and sensitive woman, she is doing her best to work it out with not very much success...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It happened (Preview) My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...	AStrongerMe	20	493	Jan 21, 2013 by Annie1234
	manic depression and/or alcoholism?? (Preview) I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...	tortuga	9	358	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Newbie - Living this life too long now - needing strength and guidence Please help! (Preview) Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...	Mommamimi	7	366	Jan 21, 2013 by Mommamimi
	New To This Board (Preview) Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...	MorganManor	3	203	Jan 21, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Sarcasm and jokes (Preview) My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...	ilovedogs	7	1675	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Short Share :) (Preview) Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...	Pushka	6	246	Jan 21, 2013 by pinkchip
	Is There Any Hope? (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...	Raven Juniper	8	243	Jan 21, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Suggestions: Books to help Mother of Adult Alcoholic Child (Preview) I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...	lgnutah	3	650	Jan 21, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What is the book you all recommend (Preview) For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.	abbyalana	10	234	Jan 21, 2013 by one_moment
	letting go (Preview) After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...	chayas	4	320	Jan 21, 2013 by Magster
	Happy Birthday Hoot!!!!!!!! (Preview) Our own Kathleen (aka Hoot Nanny) has just had her 27th Al-Anon birthday this month. Of course, Alanoner that I am, I got wrapped up in my own world and forgot her coin. I am ordering it now. He hehe. I just want to say Happy Birthday, Kathleen. You are a good friend. You have been there for me through so many...	Jen	2	197	Jan 20, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	what to do if I don't know anymore what's best for me? (Preview) i lost track. i can't judge anymore, i don't want to judge anymore. I can't feel anymore, i don' want to feel anymore. i can't think anymore. I don't want to think anymore. i thought i knew, and i know nothing. i thought I could trust myself, now i don't anymore. so much work, to end up where i started... in d...	tortuga	7	276	Jan 20, 2013 by ilovedogs
	I am responding to posts and go back and see nothing? (Preview) Anyone else?	Breakingfree	3	199	Jan 20, 2013 by el-cee
	keep focused. (Preview) I plan on spending my time staying focused on the good & definitely not on the bad. One of my friends who used to be in Alanon lost her dad on Thurs. She is a very specialy lady who always brings a smile to my face even though she is 900 miles away from me. She has a way about her that is contagious. I aspire t...	Hoot Nanny	2	185	Jan 20, 2013 by hotrod
	A very BIG day!! Actual Court today . . (Preview) Now I say this .. LOL .. and let's hope it is so! No really I can't see any way this can be delayed anymore outside of him firing his atty or vise versa .. so we will see. I am saddened that it has had to come to this. My new atty is a lady and I really like her. I know .. LOL .. I said that about the last guy, .. she'...	Pushka	9	207	Jan 20, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Hope going down the drain: my current situation and How and Why! (Preview) I felt like posting everyday, every hour...so much has been going on since I last posted on Christmas, 1 week after by ABF relapse. so ABF has become Ex ABF...at least in MY life. He doesn't want to see it happen. I went away to my home for 2 weeks, the physical distance in this situation has done me GOOD. D...	tortuga	2	224	Jan 19, 2013 by Pushka
	I dont know how to help my friend or understand his Alcholic/drug recovery. (Preview) has anyone ever experienced a relationship with somebody in rehab for drug and Alchol abuse?	Alicha	1	152	Jan 19, 2013 by abbyalana
	HELP. I still worry even though husband has been sober over 2 years Still worried (Preview) A little history to help you understand where I'm at: My husband was not an everyday-drinker-type alcoholic. He mostly got drunk when away from home, traveling for business. When we would talk on the phone at night while he was away, I could tell he was drunk and accuse him of it, which yielded him lying...	ABCD	9	411	Jan 19, 2013 by ABCD
	It's been a wild magic carpet ride........... (Preview) .............ALL i Could do was climb on board with my Higher Power. 2013 and I hope my feet are back on the ground. It works if we work it.	wallsal55	0	165	Jan 19, 2013 by wallsal55
	I am ready to break free but scared! (Preview) I honestly feel that my relationship with this man is over. Truth be told it has been over for many years. I no longer want to be in this relationship. I want to stand on my own two feet and distance myself from this madness. My only concern is for my young son. He threatens to take my son. It breaks my h...	Sweet Pea	5	381	Jan 19, 2013 by Ebunny59
	Insight? (Preview) Hello everyone, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but something has just clicked with me and I wanted to share it. I believe my HP is trying to tell me something that is probably really obvious to you guys. My HP is going to present me with new versions of the same problem until I find the right way to de...	el-cee	2	170	Jan 19, 2013 by el-cee
	Gotta vent -AD asks for help, now its all my fault (Preview) Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...	LeenieBeanie	2	223	Jan 19, 2013 by hotrod
	AD asks for help, now its all my fault (Preview) Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...	LeenieBeanie	0	130	Jan 18, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Success Story (Preview) I have seen a few posts recently and wanted to share my thoughts on something... Everyone here (EVERYONE) is a success story. I was told by my father many years ago nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. How true this is. Some work things out with the alcoholic in their life and the alcoholic...	hdftby100	5	246	Jan 19, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Teenage Son - Worried Mum (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am a Very Grateful Member of Al Anon Member for four years, nearly five... I have learnt so much in Al-Anon and with the help of the wonderful groups and a fabulous life coach, I have learnt so much and come through so much. As I have gotten much better myself, I am now becoming more and mor...	serenityseeker15	5	323	Jan 19, 2013 by el-cee
	I keep doing the two step...one step forward, two steps back! In need of serious ESH! (Preview) Everyday starts another journey for me. I am currently separated from my AH, but not by my choice that is something he chose. It continues to break my heart...today it feels like a mack truck ran it over. As I continue to work my program with 4 f2f meetings a week, daily reading, and visiting MIP multiple...	one_moment	6	390	Jan 19, 2013 by one_moment
	I have just seen my son in passing (Preview) I went over to speak to him just wanted to say how happy I am for him, that he has kept his job and has stuck to it all week, but he said he wasn't speaking to me, it hurts but I feel that if my putting him out has kept him in his job and away from his fair weather friends, and safe, it's a small price to pay, Ideally I...	Katy	4	227	Jan 18, 2013 by el-cee
	Do happy endings exist after rehab? (Preview) My love has only been away a week in a 90 day rehab program yet I feel like I am the one being punished. Granted the past 90 days with him had been pure hell, but I seem to be glossing over the bad, and miss him to the point I have shut down. I think I operated so long on sheer nervous energy that now that he has take...	newwoman	6	419	Jan 18, 2013 by xeno59
	resentment (Preview) Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...	el-cee	6	269	Jan 18, 2013 by Annie1234
	How is my child EVER going to have a relationship with her AH father? (Preview) She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...	abbyalana	4	210	Jan 18, 2013 by pinkchip
	DH of 3.5 years just admitted he has to go back to AA (Preview) Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...	createive	2	291	Jan 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Hello I am new here and I just need a hug! (Preview) Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...	Sweet Pea	13	482	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	Left with child (Preview) Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...	kellyblue28	3	248	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	anyone who has gone through separation? (Preview) Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...	yanksfan51	4	273	Jan 18, 2013 by Ms S
	Rebuilding friendships (Preview) Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...	Beekee	4	195	Jan 18, 2013 by Fool4You
	Husband getting out of rehab (Preview) I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...	hopeful4ever	9	276	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Moving forward (Preview) All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...	Cathyinaz	4	209	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Speaking (share) (Preview) Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...	slogan_jim	3	181	Jan 18, 2013 by slogan_jim
	A Prayer for my son who has Relapsed (Preview) I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...	Jackie Z	4	422	Jan 17, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Help! A Newbie Who is Lost! (Preview) My love has been in rehab 8 days and I am losing my mind. I feel like a part of me has died. I can't sleep, can't eat, can't stop crying. I am so lost yet was so thrilled he went to rehab now I don't know who I am or how to function. This entire scenerio is so screwed up, I feel so helpless because I don't think I ever...	newwoman	9	230	Jan 17, 2013 by milkwood
	ACOA and now a parent (Preview) I recently had a baby, and it the transition into parenthood is difficult with an alcoholic mother. I relate to my mother on an emotional and biological level, and I fear that I will become her as a mother myself. She want to be a part in my child's life but I told her she can't until she seeks help....she...	gardengirl56	1	173	Jan 17, 2013 by hotrod
	The far reaching effects of this disease are... yeah baffling (Preview) Some know I came to this board when I began dating a man who presented himself as a recovering, sober alcoholic. He appeared to be all he said then had a relapse early in our relationship and went to rehab and voluntarily stayed 60 days. What followed next was me getting into Al Anon (best thing I've eve...	AStrongerMe	2	227	Jan 17, 2013 by tortuga
	Want my wife back (Preview) Hi all , guess i just need to vent some frustration like so many others. My beautiful wife has been an alchoholic for around 6 years . Its just getting to much for me now . I really cant bear it any longer . I Love her with all my heart and it makes it all the more worse seeing the woman I married, the mother of o...	jollyman	7	361	Jan 17, 2013 by Enabler2013
	Signs you worry too much! (Preview) Here's a funny one! I received an email from Web MD that was titled "Signs You Worry Too Much". Does my computer sense my worries? So, I thought I would share where my brain is today. My AH has been sober for 30 days today! He is currently going through the DUI process for a second DUI. Tha...	Annie1234	2	235	Jan 17, 2013 by Annie1234
	anxiety, thoughts, feelings, confusion - maybe too much thinking? (Preview) Hi everyone, i'm new here on this forum and have been going to al-anon (fairly consistently) since May 2012. I've gone through so many changes of awareness it's unreal! I've been with my AHB for 5 years; he's been working his AA program for a good 2 yrs but has relapsed every so often. I don't know if its ha...	Gette	14	541	Jan 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Now what? (Preview) My AH checked himself into a treatment facility. His program will end on Tuesday. He is coming home. Up until about 3 months ago, I didn't even know that there was a serious problem. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think we were perfect, but I thought we had more good times than bad. Now he has 28 days of 2...	SaRw	5	220	Jan 17, 2013 by hotrod
	This is my story (Preview) Hello everyone and thank you for all the wonderful insights and encouragement! I found this site just this past week and it has impacted me immensely. I was married for twenty years to an emotionally abusive man. He's not a drinker and I'm not much of one. I finally had enough when our daughter graduat...	Fool4You	5	334	Jan 17, 2013 by el-cee
	It's okay to be angry (Preview) Really. My therapist and I had a great conversation about this topic tonight and it's okay to be angry. I have been through so much and continue to go through so much and being angry is part of the process and it's OK. I have been so angry for weeks on end in awful and heavy flows and started to worry that it wa...	abbyalana	6	344	Jan 16, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	How do you cope with lonely? (Preview) I have been doing fairly well with the changes of going from a married woman to a single woman. I have been with my AH for ten years and during that time there were some really good times. We were in love and I think in some ways still are. I am now starting to struggle with the lonliness of it all. I have no...	cinders	8	257	Jan 16, 2013 by abbyalana
	Frustrated and New (Preview) I don't know where to start. Basically, I've been in relationship with a herion addict for almost three years. I didn't even know he had drug problems until almost the second year. I told his family and they had an intervention for him and he went to rehab. He emerged from rehab and seemed to be doing well...	zanib	2	202	Jan 16, 2013 by milkwood
	How important is feeing safe? (Preview) Hello everyone. Greetings to you and best wishes for the coming NewYear! We have had a rough go of several months. I did one positive, I quit a toxic position!:) My family members I am a caregiver for have been in and out of the hospital. I lost a relative thatI was very close to very unexpectedly C...	Old Timer	4	263	Jan 16, 2013 by milkwood
	Not very good at the boundaries thingy (Preview) Some folks know what's going on with my daughter and us raising her daughter. The daughter lives in Maryland near us, and we have sole custody of the grand daughter because my daughter have her up so she could go back to Michigan to get back into partying. She lasted one day and absolutely HAD to co e right...	AlAnonDave	6	248	Jan 16, 2013 by Breakingfree
	New to this site (Preview) My husband and I have been married for 22 years. He has just finished a detox and has entered a outpatient program. He has always been a drinker,but the past few years has gotten much worse. He was very good at hiding it. I always knew he drank, but had no idea how much. Was I in denial? I am not feeling...	whitel6425	1	190	Jan 16, 2013 by hotrod
	they are all around me. (Preview) Without being to long I will try to describe my situation. I have an AH who has 2 A brother's and one brother that is married to a recovering addict. That would make her my sister-in-law. I am dealing with my AH fine, who is in his 6th week of recovery. My sister-in-law has been in recovery for well over a yea...	1976love	1	275	Jan 16, 2013 by orchidlover
	My babies & Sanity - New to this ... (Preview) Hi: I'm new, from england and have never written in one of these forums. My husband is the Alcoholic. We were married 10 years ago. I kind of knew he was a heavy drinker but never realised that over those 10 years, he'd become abusive and start to get so drunk, he would pee his pants. He used to drink sociall...	Photomum	9	228	Jan 16, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Our son has been out of the house one night! (Preview) He did come back last evening and demanded to be let in, we didn't, I worried about him all night it was so cold and was snowing, I felt pretty low this morning but being in work was a tonic, I keep thinking about the main reasons I cannot tolerate his bahviours anymore, his drinking comes before everythin...	Katy	3	206	Jan 16, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Tired of feeling crazy (Preview) Okay so I know that I am not the cause of his disease, but it's all I hear. He also keeps telling me how I need a psychiatric evaluation followed by medication. He blames me for his family not talking to him because I told them the things he was doing. My therapist told me that he is doing these things to take t...	imom	9	270	Jan 16, 2013 by SuzanneSC
	it never gets easier; really. (Preview) It never seems to get easier for me to say Goodbye to someone who passes away. I went to a funeral today complete w/ giving of the US flag & Taps which I cried from. There were so many emotional moments because this man was truly loved and very committed to our community. They even named a building afte...	Hoot Nanny	1	204	Jan 16, 2013 by hotrod
	A bit nervous... (Preview) Hi All, I've been really appreciating this site, thank you. A few weeks ago I was offered a new job and accepted. At the time AH was drinking spirits for breakfast! He has started the new year without any drink, which is great. We have lived with alcohol for nearly ten years and after all the usual ups an...	milkwood	7	250	Jan 15, 2013 by milkwood
	LEARNED TODAY (Preview) My Ason 29 is having marital troubles and probably will be separating real soon. I am sick to my stomach that he may be heading my way for a temporary shelter. He's only been married for 6 months to an incredibly beautiful, and sensitive woman, she is doing her best to work it out with not very much success...	oldergal	4	228	Jan 15, 2013 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.