Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

imom · imom

I signed the papers today and the divorce will be filed tomorrow. I told my AH and also told him that I am requesting he be removed from the house for the emotional safetynof myself and my kids. Of course he said he would need to be forcefully removed and that I was breaking up our family. He said everything...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Last night I had a bad night of worry and stress. Tomorrow night, my AH goes to the DUI Hotel for three nights. I'm anxious to see how the weekend helps him with his recovery. Today he has been sober for 37 days, and I am hopeful that he is taking the right steps. In the meantime, as hopeful as I am about al...

tortuga · tortuga

It is now 4 weeks since we had that violent clash. where I seperated myself physically and geographically during the first 2 weeks, I felt a sort of peace and calm, that i haven't felt at all lately in this relationship. I almost felt selfish and guilty, but due to th eviolence of the events, I also felt st...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I've been on here before, and as is my way, I tend only to post when in the throes of the disease. My AH who is in recovery, but hasn't been as "in" recovery lately as in the past, is drinking tonight, I think. I came home and he's taking on online class upstairs in the den and when I passed by, it sme...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...l...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I read this today and it really made me think. It is not Alanon based.... author is unknown... but I feel that most of us whohave had many trials and tribulations in their life can see that the way we react and make choices, can change the way we are.... Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; &q...

tired of trying · tired of trying

I'll try to make this short. Tomorrow is custody court for my beautiful almost 1 year old granddaughter. She was removed from my AD because the babies father reported her to the police for being drunk-it was a good thing because she eventually got into rehab and has made an amazing turn around (long h...

tortuga · tortuga

the reason Im asking this is that i took a time-out in the interaction between myself and my A. i dont say boyfriend anymore, since confusion has mounted up so quickly in the past month, that I didnt really have taken the time to reflect on what was actually going on. I was overwhelmed and scared by the spe...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed. I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now I guess I'm in need of a hug..... -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I wrote this on the AA board, but I know there are many struggling parents that worry about their adult children on this board and I figured I would share it here too. I don't know what you might gain from this (maybe some hope), but this it just one part of my experience in recovery: For years and year I tho...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY C...

Katy · Katy

So our dear son has a place to stay at my sister inlaws, he has made it into work with a little bit of help from her having to wake him up a few times, she has not been happy with his comings and goings, providing meals for him of which he has not been turning up for, my husband is in constant contact with the pair...

imom · imom

My attorney wants me to come in tomorrow to sign the divorce papers so we can finally file. I don't know why I keep having reservations about this. When he is following me around the house calling me a b.... And a coward and crazy I know for sure I need to divorce. Why then do I still have reservations? He has...

mattiegee · mattiegee

Hello, I come from a family of 8 where both of my parents died of alcoholism. I've always accepted this fact and spoke out about alcohol and removed myself from situations when it got crazy. There is a lot of addiction in my family and my siblings wont even talk about the alcoholism of my parents. I'v...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

I log in and reply to a post, hit submit. Then I am logged out and the post does not appear. Was happening on Friday as well.

Enabler2013 · Enabler2013

Hi all. I've been wanting to find someone to talk to for weeks now. My man just keeps getting worse and worse. Long story but I'll try to tell the 'nutshell' version: When we got together we both drank...I think at that time I may have even drank more than he did (6 yrs ago). He drank beer and I drank vodk...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

Last night we hit an all time low around here. My AD got home from work, she got paid yesterday (works a part time job) we have proof that she had stolen some of my husbands SSI check and almost caused our rent check to bounce. We also are sure she recently stole a large amount of his pain medication. We we...

Sal77 · Sal77

Hi Everyone I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him b...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My share continues! We are at a very important part of the process and soon my manfriend and I can meet. Could be weeks. yikes. Its is amazing to be with a person who has had the same experience with a spouse A. No one could understand the horror of seeing your spouse disappear more than a common experience...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I did not freak out. I went to bed after reading al-anon books. He called me at 12:30 at night telling me he failed which I already assumed since he didn't call me at bedtime like he normally does, I just told him I was sleeping and would call him the next day. I woke up thinking about it so I, took a hot soak...

Ebunny59 · Ebunny59

After 3rd day of being sober, my 13 year old tells my ABF that he was more fun when he drank! This was after the lecture (while he was in detox) on how we need to try to reduce his stress for a couple of weeks, just until he can get use to being sober and part of life again. Then, on day 10, she tells him she feels l...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...

tortuga · tortuga

I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...

MorganManor · MorganManor

Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.

chayas · chayas

After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...

Jen · Jen

Our own Kathleen (aka Hoot Nanny) has just had her 27th Al-Anon birthday this month. Of course, Alanoner that I am, I got wrapped up in my own world and forgot her coin. I am ordering it now. He hehe. I just want to say Happy Birthday, Kathleen. You are a good friend. You have been there for me through so many...

tortuga · tortuga

i lost track. i can't judge anymore, i don't want to judge anymore. I can't feel anymore, i don' want to feel anymore. i can't think anymore. I don't want to think anymore. i thought i knew, and i know nothing. i thought I could trust myself, now i don't anymore. so much work, to end up where i started... in d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Anyone else?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I plan on spending my time staying focused on the good & definitely not on the bad. One of my friends who used to be in Alanon lost her dad on Thurs. She is a very specialy lady who always brings a smile to my face even though she is 900 miles away from me. She has a way about her that is contagious. I aspire t...

Pushka · Pushka

Now I say this .. LOL .. and let's hope it is so! No really I can't see any way this can be delayed anymore outside of him firing his atty or vise versa .. so we will see. I am saddened that it has had to come to this. My new atty is a lady and I really like her. I know .. LOL .. I said that about the last guy, .. she'...

tortuga · tortuga

I felt like posting everyday, every hour...so much has been going on since I last posted on Christmas, 1 week after by ABF relapse. so ABF has become Ex ABF...at least in MY life. He doesn't want to see it happen. I went away to my home for 2 weeks, the physical distance in this situation has done me GOOD. D...

Alicha · Alicha

has anyone ever experienced a relationship with somebody in rehab for drug and Alchol abuse?

ABCD · ABCD

A little history to help you understand where I'm at: My husband was not an everyday-drinker-type alcoholic. He mostly got drunk when away from home, traveling for business. When we would talk on the phone at night while he was away, I could tell he was drunk and accuse him of it, which yielded him lying...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

.............ALL i Could do was climb on board with my Higher Power. 2013 and I hope my feet are back on the ground. It works if we work it.

Sweet Pea · Sweet Pea

I honestly feel that my relationship with this man is over. Truth be told it has been over for many years. I no longer want to be in this relationship. I want to stand on my own two feet and distance myself from this madness. My only concern is for my young son. He threatens to take my son. It breaks my h...

el-cee · el-cee

Hello everyone, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but something has just clicked with me and I wanted to share it. I believe my HP is trying to tell me something that is probably really obvious to you guys. My HP is going to present me with new versions of the same problem until I find the right way to de...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I have seen a few posts recently and wanted to share my thoughts on something... Everyone here (EVERYONE) is a success story. I was told by my father many years ago nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. How true this is. Some work things out with the alcoholic in their life and the alcoholic...

serenityseeker15 · serenityseeker15

Hi Everyone, I am a Very Grateful Member of Al Anon Member for four years, nearly five... I have learnt so much in Al-Anon and with the help of the wonderful groups and a fabulous life coach, I have learnt so much and come through so much. As I have gotten much better myself, I am now becoming more and mor...

one_moment · one_moment

Everyday starts another journey for me. I am currently separated from my AH, but not by my choice that is something he chose. It continues to break my heart...today it feels like a mack truck ran it over. As I continue to work my program with 4 f2f meetings a week, daily reading, and visiting MIP multiple...

Katy · Katy

I went over to speak to him just wanted to say how happy I am for him, that he has kept his job and has stuck to it all week, but he said he wasn't speaking to me, it hurts but I feel that if my putting him out has kept him in his job and away from his fair weather friends, and safe, it's a small price to pay, Ideally I...

newwoman · newwoman

My love has only been away a week in a 90 day rehab program yet I feel like I am the one being punished. Granted the past 90 days with him had been pure hell, but I seem to be glossing over the bad, and miss him to the point I have shut down. I think I operated so long on sheer nervous energy that now that he has take...

el-cee · el-cee

Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...

abbyalana · abbyalana

She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...

createive · createive

Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...

Sweet Pea · Sweet Pea

Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...

kellyblue28 · kellyblue28

Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...

Beekee · Beekee

Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...

hopeful4ever · hopeful4ever

I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...

Jackie Z · Jackie Z

I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I did it (Preview) I signed the papers today and the divorce will be filed tomorrow. I told my AH and also told him that I am requesting he be removed from the house for the emotional safetynof myself and my kids. Of course he said he would need to be forcefully removed and that I was breaking up our family. He said everything...	imom	12	373	Jan 23, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Praying for Serenity (Preview) Last night I had a bad night of worry and stress. Tomorrow night, my AH goes to the DUI Hotel for three nights. I'm anxious to see how the weekend helps him with his recovery. Today he has been sober for 37 days, and I am hopeful that he is taking the right steps. In the meantime, as hopeful as I am about al...	Annie1234	4	255	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	after a messy break-up...my feelings! (Preview) It is now 4 weeks since we had that violent clash. where I seperated myself physically and geographically during the first 2 weeks, I felt a sort of peace and calm, that i haven't felt at all lately in this relationship. I almost felt selfish and guilty, but due to th eviolence of the events, I also felt st...	tortuga	5	300	Jan 23, 2013 by Jill
	Don't know whether to confront the A tonight about drinking (Preview) I've been on here before, and as is my way, I tend only to post when in the throes of the disease. My AH who is in recovery, but hasn't been as "in" recovery lately as in the past, is drinking tonight, I think. I came home and he's taking on online class upstairs in the den and when I passed by, it sme...	Findinghope	7	264	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	What is the problem (Preview) I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...l...	Cathyinaz	4	239	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	Something to think about.... (Preview) I read this today and it really made me think. It is not Alanon based.... author is unknown... but I feel that most of us whohave had many trials and tribulations in their life can see that the way we react and make choices, can change the way we are.... Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; &q...	Sweet Stanley	10	331	Jan 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Any grandparents out there (Preview) I'll try to make this short. Tomorrow is custody court for my beautiful almost 1 year old granddaughter. She was removed from my AD because the babies father reported her to the police for being drunk-it was a good thing because she eventually got into rehab and has made an amazing turn around (long h...	tired of trying	4	416	Jan 23, 2013 by tired of trying
	alcoholic disease vs. social drinker??... and the thoughts after that! (Preview) the reason Im asking this is that i took a time-out in the interaction between myself and my A. i dont say boyfriend anymore, since confusion has mounted up so quickly in the past month, that I didnt really have taken the time to reflect on what was actually going on. I was overwhelmed and scared by the spe...	tortuga	4	285	Jan 23, 2013 by milkwood
	I miss my son (Preview) I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed. I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now I guess I'm in need of a hug..... -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Th...	Cathyinaz	9	400	Jan 23, 2013 by Magster
	Was thinking about my mom. (Preview) I wrote this on the AA board, but I know there are many struggling parents that worry about their adult children on this board and I figured I would share it here too. I don't know what you might gain from this (maybe some hope), but this it just one part of my experience in recovery: For years and year I tho...	pinkchip	10	382	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	Just want to say (Preview) It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY C...	Cathyinaz	10	292	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	one week on! (Preview) So our dear son has a place to stay at my sister inlaws, he has made it into work with a little bit of help from her having to wake him up a few times, she has not been happy with his comings and goings, providing meals for him of which he has not been turning up for, my husband is in constant contact with the pair...	Katy	3	376	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	I am such a wimp (Preview) My attorney wants me to come in tomorrow to sign the divorce papers so we can finally file. I don't know why I keep having reservations about this. When he is following me around the house calling me a b.... And a coward and crazy I know for sure I need to divorce. Why then do I still have reservations? He has...	imom	13	939	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	crazy family PLEASE HELP (Preview) Hello, I come from a family of 8 where both of my parents died of alcoholism. I've always accepted this fact and spoke out about alcohol and removed myself from situations when it got crazy. There is a lot of addiction in my family and my siblings wont even talk about the alcoholism of my parents. I'v...	mattiegee	5	360	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	Site troubles ?? Still going on ... (Preview) I log in and reply to a post, hit submit. Then I am logged out and the post does not appear. Was happening on Friday as well.	LeenieBeanie	1	192	Jan 22, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Newbie...can we talk? (Preview) Hi all. I've been wanting to find someone to talk to for weeks now. My man just keeps getting worse and worse. Long story but I'll try to tell the 'nutshell' version: When we got together we both drank...I think at that time I may have even drank more than he did (6 yrs ago). He drank beer and I drank vodk...	Enabler2013	9	310	Jan 22, 2013 by Enabler2013
	sh*t hit the fan - now what? (Preview) Last night we hit an all time low around here. My AD got home from work, she got paid yesterday (works a part time job) we have proof that she had stolen some of my husbands SSI check and almost caused our rent check to bounce. We also are sure she recently stole a large amount of his pain medication. We we...	Mommamimi	8	519	Jan 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	New here... (Preview) Hi Everyone I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him b...	Sal77	3	189	Jan 22, 2013 by Breakingfree
	The non A partner (Preview) My share continues! We are at a very important part of the process and soon my manfriend and I can meet. Could be weeks. yikes. Its is amazing to be with a person who has had the same experience with a spouse A. No one could understand the horror of seeing your spouse disappear more than a common experience...	Debilyn	2	508	Jan 22, 2013 by Breakingfree
	My exAh already had a slip and (Preview) I did not freak out. I went to bed after reading al-anon books. He called me at 12:30 at night telling me he failed which I already assumed since he didn't call me at bedtime like he normally does, I just told him I was sleeping and would call him the next day. I woke up thinking about it so I, took a hot soak...	Breakingfree	5	333	Jan 21, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Oh oh, now what? (Preview) After 3rd day of being sober, my 13 year old tells my ABF that he was more fun when he drank! This was after the lecture (while he was in detox) on how we need to try to reduce his stress for a couple of weeks, just until he can get use to being sober and part of life again. Then, on day 10, she tells him she feels l...	Ebunny59	4	398	Jan 21, 2013 by Mommamimi
	It happened (Preview) My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...	AStrongerMe	20	512	Jan 21, 2013 by Annie1234
	manic depression and/or alcoholism?? (Preview) I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...	tortuga	9	380	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Newbie - Living this life too long now - needing strength and guidence Please help! (Preview) Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...	Mommamimi	7	384	Jan 21, 2013 by Mommamimi
	New To This Board (Preview) Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...	MorganManor	3	217	Jan 21, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Sarcasm and jokes (Preview) My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...	ilovedogs	7	1709	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Short Share :) (Preview) Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...	Pushka	6	266	Jan 21, 2013 by pinkchip
	Is There Any Hope? (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...	Raven Juniper	8	260	Jan 21, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Suggestions: Books to help Mother of Adult Alcoholic Child (Preview) I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...	lgnutah	3	671	Jan 21, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What is the book you all recommend (Preview) For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.	abbyalana	10	248	Jan 21, 2013 by one_moment
	letting go (Preview) After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...	chayas	4	335	Jan 21, 2013 by Magster
	Happy Birthday Hoot!!!!!!!! (Preview) Our own Kathleen (aka Hoot Nanny) has just had her 27th Al-Anon birthday this month. Of course, Alanoner that I am, I got wrapped up in my own world and forgot her coin. I am ordering it now. He hehe. I just want to say Happy Birthday, Kathleen. You are a good friend. You have been there for me through so many...	Jen	2	211	Jan 20, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	what to do if I don't know anymore what's best for me? (Preview) i lost track. i can't judge anymore, i don't want to judge anymore. I can't feel anymore, i don' want to feel anymore. i can't think anymore. I don't want to think anymore. i thought i knew, and i know nothing. i thought I could trust myself, now i don't anymore. so much work, to end up where i started... in d...	tortuga	7	290	Jan 20, 2013 by ilovedogs
	I am responding to posts and go back and see nothing? (Preview) Anyone else?	Breakingfree	3	216	Jan 20, 2013 by el-cee
	keep focused. (Preview) I plan on spending my time staying focused on the good & definitely not on the bad. One of my friends who used to be in Alanon lost her dad on Thurs. She is a very specialy lady who always brings a smile to my face even though she is 900 miles away from me. She has a way about her that is contagious. I aspire t...	Hoot Nanny	2	206	Jan 20, 2013 by hotrod
	A very BIG day!! Actual Court today . . (Preview) Now I say this .. LOL .. and let's hope it is so! No really I can't see any way this can be delayed anymore outside of him firing his atty or vise versa .. so we will see. I am saddened that it has had to come to this. My new atty is a lady and I really like her. I know .. LOL .. I said that about the last guy, .. she'...	Pushka	9	228	Jan 20, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Hope going down the drain: my current situation and How and Why! (Preview) I felt like posting everyday, every hour...so much has been going on since I last posted on Christmas, 1 week after by ABF relapse. so ABF has become Ex ABF...at least in MY life. He doesn't want to see it happen. I went away to my home for 2 weeks, the physical distance in this situation has done me GOOD. D...	tortuga	2	244	Jan 19, 2013 by Pushka
	I dont know how to help my friend or understand his Alcholic/drug recovery. (Preview) has anyone ever experienced a relationship with somebody in rehab for drug and Alchol abuse?	Alicha	1	165	Jan 19, 2013 by abbyalana
	HELP. I still worry even though husband has been sober over 2 years Still worried (Preview) A little history to help you understand where I'm at: My husband was not an everyday-drinker-type alcoholic. He mostly got drunk when away from home, traveling for business. When we would talk on the phone at night while he was away, I could tell he was drunk and accuse him of it, which yielded him lying...	ABCD	9	431	Jan 19, 2013 by ABCD
	It's been a wild magic carpet ride........... (Preview) .............ALL i Could do was climb on board with my Higher Power. 2013 and I hope my feet are back on the ground. It works if we work it.	wallsal55	0	180	Jan 19, 2013 by wallsal55
	I am ready to break free but scared! (Preview) I honestly feel that my relationship with this man is over. Truth be told it has been over for many years. I no longer want to be in this relationship. I want to stand on my own two feet and distance myself from this madness. My only concern is for my young son. He threatens to take my son. It breaks my h...	Sweet Pea	5	402	Jan 19, 2013 by Ebunny59
	Insight? (Preview) Hello everyone, I may not be the sharpest tool in the box but something has just clicked with me and I wanted to share it. I believe my HP is trying to tell me something that is probably really obvious to you guys. My HP is going to present me with new versions of the same problem until I find the right way to de...	el-cee	2	192	Jan 19, 2013 by el-cee
	Gotta vent -AD asks for help, now its all my fault (Preview) Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...	LeenieBeanie	2	237	Jan 19, 2013 by hotrod
	AD asks for help, now its all my fault (Preview) Hello and Happy New Year to all in MIP. It has been a while since I posted, but I am here at least twice a day, getting strength. Enabling vs helping - That has been a tough one for me as a Mom but I have been shown the light that I have been a super enabler with her for the past 12 years with our AD. Here's the la...	LeenieBeanie	0	144	Jan 18, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Success Story (Preview) I have seen a few posts recently and wanted to share my thoughts on something... Everyone here (EVERYONE) is a success story. I was told by my father many years ago nothing in life that is worthwhile comes easy. How true this is. Some work things out with the alcoholic in their life and the alcoholic...	hdftby100	5	262	Jan 19, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Teenage Son - Worried Mum (Preview) Hi Everyone, I am a Very Grateful Member of Al Anon Member for four years, nearly five... I have learnt so much in Al-Anon and with the help of the wonderful groups and a fabulous life coach, I have learnt so much and come through so much. As I have gotten much better myself, I am now becoming more and mor...	serenityseeker15	5	339	Jan 19, 2013 by el-cee
	I keep doing the two step...one step forward, two steps back! In need of serious ESH! (Preview) Everyday starts another journey for me. I am currently separated from my AH, but not by my choice that is something he chose. It continues to break my heart...today it feels like a mack truck ran it over. As I continue to work my program with 4 f2f meetings a week, daily reading, and visiting MIP multiple...	one_moment	6	408	Jan 19, 2013 by one_moment
	I have just seen my son in passing (Preview) I went over to speak to him just wanted to say how happy I am for him, that he has kept his job and has stuck to it all week, but he said he wasn't speaking to me, it hurts but I feel that if my putting him out has kept him in his job and away from his fair weather friends, and safe, it's a small price to pay, Ideally I...	Katy	4	248	Jan 18, 2013 by el-cee
	Do happy endings exist after rehab? (Preview) My love has only been away a week in a 90 day rehab program yet I feel like I am the one being punished. Granted the past 90 days with him had been pure hell, but I seem to be glossing over the bad, and miss him to the point I have shut down. I think I operated so long on sheer nervous energy that now that he has take...	newwoman	6	438	Jan 18, 2013 by xeno59
	resentment (Preview) Sometimes I struggle to have empathy for alcoholics. The damage they cause to their partners and worse, children is shocking. Long lasting damage. They are selfish and self centred at best and aggressive and violent at worst. I mean has anyone actually spelt it out to there a, really told them. I beli...	el-cee	6	283	Jan 18, 2013 by Annie1234
	How is my child EVER going to have a relationship with her AH father? (Preview) She is 12. Visitation has been discontinued. His response was to pack up her belongings and drop them on my porch. She is angry. We were never allowed to express emotions with the AH lived with us so expressing any emotion is overwhelming at best. My daughter does know he's an addict and of course sh...	abbyalana	4	230	Jan 18, 2013 by pinkchip
	DH of 3.5 years just admitted he has to go back to AA (Preview) Hi, I new here. I have been with a wonderful man for 3.5 years 1 of which we have been married. When we met he said he didn't drink and had gone to AA 10is years ago. The entire time we have been together he didn't go to meetings and "said" he didn't drink. The entire time I suspected he had one here a...	createive	2	307	Jan 18, 2013 by grateful2be
	Hello I am new here and I just need a hug! (Preview) Hello! I have been with my significant other for 9 years now and just now trying to find some support. He was a recovering alcoholic and when I came home from work tonight he was drunk. I am usually an optimistic person but tonight I feel very sad and pretty much hopeless. I hope to read many posts to...	Sweet Pea	13	500	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	Left with child (Preview) Hey everyone, My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 4 of those years. In September last year I gave birth to our first child who we both immediatly fell in love with. To back up a bit, I'm here because it wasn't untill my child was born, that I realized my husband has an addiction t...	kellyblue28	3	269	Jan 18, 2013 by Sweet Pea
	anyone who has gone through separation? (Preview) Hi Everyone I have been on and off these boards for about a year, but the past 2-3 weeks have been attending online meetings and have gone back to a f2f after a long time. I am trying to work through some 'stuck' feelings I have and would love to hear from anyone with similar circumstances... Last 1-2 year...	yanksfan51	4	292	Jan 18, 2013 by Ms S
	Rebuilding friendships (Preview) Our peak event in our home scared friends we used to associate with, and they uninvited us to their home and have written off my husband. They say that I am ok, but they don't like him. They talk about my husband like he is garbage when he is a man that made a mistake, and they completely forget that he is my...	Beekee	4	214	Jan 18, 2013 by Fool4You
	Husband getting out of rehab (Preview) I am so nervous. I have not seen my husband in almost 3 months. He is graduating from a rehab this week. I kicked him out before he decided to go in. I really thought I was done dealing with him. I am still hurt by the things he has done to our family but I am having unexpected emotions. I know that my resentme...	hopeful4ever	9	298	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Moving forward (Preview) All this last week I had to make the decision about truly letting go..cutting off that last string holding onto my son. It has been very hard for me but Im now doing it. Let Go Let God. Im sure I will mess up from time to time but Im letting go.I finally started working on me and as I think back on my childho...	Cathyinaz	4	229	Jan 18, 2013 by orchidlover
	Speaking (share) (Preview) Hey Guys, I have been doing a lot of speaking at open Al-Anon meetings over the last year and a bit and it's an experience I really enjoy. It is very rewarding, I feel great after and people always leave feeling better. I always leave feeling better. I feel I have a pretty neat story and have overcome a lot t...	slogan_jim	3	203	Jan 18, 2013 by slogan_jim
	A Prayer for my son who has Relapsed (Preview) I just read an older post from Jerry F about detaching with love...quite powerful. "Love first, Love always." It has helped me so much and given me a sense of peace as I turn my son over to the God of my understanding. Here's the prayer I found online in those deparate times when I would search...	Jackie Z	4	443	Jan 17, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.