Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

1976love · 1976love

Just a little note to share. When I first started alanon i was truely going to get my AH "fixed" was pretty sure they would have all the answers to fix him. When I went to my first meeting and was in total shock that they expected me, of all people, to do the same steps my sick AH had to do. I am ve...

Dee3 · Dee3

My son has a drug problem. It has been going on for years and last week we had an intervention with him. He did admit he has a problem and he was willing to get help. He is now in a rehab center. I never thought I would have to go through any of this but I am sure we all thought that. I am asking for understand and h...

hotrod · hotrod

IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 8 MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAVE HARMED AND BECAME willing to make amends to them allPlease join us and share your eSHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52406122/step-8-alanon/

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am really struggling with my eating right now and am gaining weight. Last time I became single I lost weight and worked out a lot. Now I am in school sitting in class and studying a lot 5 classes right now 2 of which are twice a week, with 2 kids and work on the weekends I have really turned to food. I am not lo...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm just not feeling my program tonight. My son who still hasn't moved out of course I still don't have the courage. Had a row with him completely reacted, I'm obviously resentful over what happened at the weekend and let go Of my anger, I'm still angry, he's out tonight and I feel like not letting him ba...

sheristeele · sheristeele

I kicked my A son out of the home over 2 months ago. This past week he calls and says that he "needs money for groceries" and that he needs to see a doctor. I went and picked him up and took him to the ER and paid for his medications when he was released. He was smart mouthed and rude to me several ti...

militantsparrow · militantsparrow

It is difficult to write about something that has affected me my entire life yet have never really spoken to anyone about. I started to write this several times, but it keeps spinning out of control. So, I will try one more time to write just enough to get my story across. It will likely be hard to follow. I...

Keaghan · Keaghan

My A is trying to quit drinking. However many times she has tried to fool me and she is clearly drunk or at least buzzed. she repeats herself a lot when is buzzed. Clear give away. Anyway should I not call her out on it ? Should I just keep to myself ? I don't want to accuse her but then again I want to know and her...

Minaret · Minaret

I know this topic has probably been started before, but I had a tough time the other night...my AH was drinking and yelling at the kids and on and on, the typical chaos on a worknight (a worknight for me at least), and I wound up putting both children to bed, usually if AH is not picking a fight with me, he hel...

LetDownandLost · LetDownandLost

Hi there. I had known my husband for almost six years. We got married in 2009. I discovered last fall that he had a drinking problem because he got arrested for OWI and he had a blood alcohol level of .352! Of course, I couldn't find him that night and after calling numerous police stations and area hospi...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

I'm posting this because it's important for all of us as enablers to know! Once you have allowed your A friend or family member establish their "residence" with you, you can NOT force them to leave without officially evicting them. That can be a long drawn out process, it will also require y...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Why am I still having such a hard time realizing that NOTHING I do is going to make a difference? Believe me, I have tried it all - drill seargent, supportive wife, nurse and in the end, separated myself from the situation but still, he tries and fails. Part of me feels so sad for him when I see how insec...

imom · imom

My AH claims he has been told and has read a lot of research about how a small percentage of people cannot ever be helped by recovery programs ( I.e. rehab and aa). Has anyone come across this research or is this just another one of his lame excuses to avoid recovery?

oldergal · oldergal

They abuse you physically, and verbally, uses you, doesnt agree with you, hates you, takes advantage of you, manipulates you abuse your children etc. etc.? I am not sure I understand this, are people that instantly forgiving or what is it. I am sincere about this question. Please shed some light on th...

motherof5 · motherof5

I am new to the idea of Al-Anon. My mother has suggested that I go. My partner of the last 4 years is an alcoholic. We have had numerous arguements.. lately things have gotten physical. Today I came home from work and he was stumbling and intoxicated. This just 1 1/2 weeks after he drug me across the h...

Keaghan · Keaghan

My wife is an A. She is going to a psycholgist now and I thought she would be getting better. However things have changed. At first she was definitely sober. Maybe the first month. Now although she appears sober, something is clearly up. It's like instead of drinking a ton she now measures and knows just...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

6 years of abuse my kids have endured may be ending with a bang. Unfortunately I have to go through the same scrutiny as well. A therapist for my middle son who lives with his great aunt called CPS. Unfortunately the manner the "data" was presented makes it sound like I knew they were going...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

After hearing my daughter be drunk again this weekend and learning she was fighting with her one last friend whose been there for her since they were in the 1st grade, I decided to send this email to her. I probably shouldn't have as her replies were spewing hatred to me afterward. She threatened to wr...

tortuga · tortuga

I am sorry, my posts are so scared recently. But I just am trying hard to see through this. newest accusations of my ex, 'you have a polluted mind, with all that reading you do, false knowledge, it's not the truth about life...i feel sorry for you, i hope you realize one day, how wrong you are'....this an...

Number30 · Number30

This is kinda off-topic but my grandmother is in her last few days on earth and our family could really use prayers and mental support. She has been ill for years, and stopped knowing us a long time ago but it is still hard, esp. for my mom and uncle. I went through much of the grieving process when she sto...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi I found this the other night and it was really interesting to see how my behaviour related with the alcoholics. This may interest some of you too: Stage 0: Alcoholic Characteristics: Non-drinker, No alcoholic behaviour or symptoms. Co-Alcoholic Characteristics: No co-al...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been chatting fairly regularly with a friend for quite a while. It was almost a psudo boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship, but I haven't been kidding myself that we're truly committed to one another. Just kind of settled him into the close friend category with the understanding that not...

cinders · cinders

I just had to share my good news. My oldest son who graduates this year got accepted at his top pick university. I am so incredibly proud of him. Its nice to get good news. He works so hard and has maintained some awesome grades. I could not be prouder. Ok, enough parental bragging.

el-cee · el-cee

My son, 19, has been behaving himself relatively well lately because I have asked him to leave and get his own place. Well, he has blown that tonight. He has been drinking since friday night and he storms in here drunk with a menacing look on his face. He starts ranting about a fight with someone and hes go...

el-cee · el-cee

I have realised that immediately after a crisis, any crisis, I am relieved that all is ok and I am actually quite happy and I can go on as if nothing has happened but then comes the reality and I begin to get angry. I then want to let my anger out by shouting and being dramatic but Im trying hard to work my progr...

littlehob · littlehob

Hi, Lost it a bit this morning. Was not in a great mood my A is still trying drinks most days, not fall down drunk but under the influence. I'm not mentioning it at all, going to my meetings trying to do the readings but I am fed up. I can't stand it when I see her under the influence with our two beautiful youn...

MACTX · MACTX

just feeling frstration, because I have my boundaries & have not spoken to the A since i decided to separate myself from his issues & the blame that he placed on me. now, I just received an email, semi-blaming me, and also crying out admitting he has problems & a disorder. I do not want to r...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

My husband and I have been having serious problems since he started drinking very heavily in October. He also started an affair with some trashy woman at this time. In October he first told me that he wants a divorce because "we are trapped in a loveless marriage." Throughout November and...

stephaniej · stephaniej

When I applied for that totally fantastic job with the county, I gave two former mentors as references, along with the director of the daycare center my son attendes (and where I have been volunteering a lot since I was laid off). The daycare center director called me Friday night to tell me the count...

imom · imom

I signed the papers today and the divorce will be filed tomorrow. I told my AH and also told him that I am requesting he be removed from the house for the emotional safetynof myself and my kids. Of course he said he would need to be forcefully removed and that I was breaking up our family. He said everything...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

Last night I had a bad night of worry and stress. Tomorrow night, my AH goes to the DUI Hotel for three nights. I'm anxious to see how the weekend helps him with his recovery. Today he has been sober for 37 days, and I am hopeful that he is taking the right steps. In the meantime, as hopeful as I am about al...

tortuga · tortuga

It is now 4 weeks since we had that violent clash. where I seperated myself physically and geographically during the first 2 weeks, I felt a sort of peace and calm, that i haven't felt at all lately in this relationship. I almost felt selfish and guilty, but due to th eviolence of the events, I also felt st...

Findinghope · Findinghope

I've been on here before, and as is my way, I tend only to post when in the throes of the disease. My AH who is in recovery, but hasn't been as "in" recovery lately as in the past, is drinking tonight, I think. I came home and he's taking on online class upstairs in the den and when I passed by, it sme...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...l...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I read this today and it really made me think. It is not Alanon based.... author is unknown... but I feel that most of us whohave had many trials and tribulations in their life can see that the way we react and make choices, can change the way we are.... Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; &q...

tired of trying · tired of trying

I'll try to make this short. Tomorrow is custody court for my beautiful almost 1 year old granddaughter. She was removed from my AD because the babies father reported her to the police for being drunk-it was a good thing because she eventually got into rehab and has made an amazing turn around (long h...

tortuga · tortuga

the reason Im asking this is that i took a time-out in the interaction between myself and my A. i dont say boyfriend anymore, since confusion has mounted up so quickly in the past month, that I didnt really have taken the time to reflect on what was actually going on. I was overwhelmed and scared by the spe...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed. I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now I guess I'm in need of a hug..... -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I wrote this on the AA board, but I know there are many struggling parents that worry about their adult children on this board and I figured I would share it here too. I don't know what you might gain from this (maybe some hope), but this it just one part of my experience in recovery: For years and year I tho...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY C...

Katy · Katy

So our dear son has a place to stay at my sister inlaws, he has made it into work with a little bit of help from her having to wake him up a few times, she has not been happy with his comings and goings, providing meals for him of which he has not been turning up for, my husband is in constant contact with the pair...

imom · imom

My attorney wants me to come in tomorrow to sign the divorce papers so we can finally file. I don't know why I keep having reservations about this. When he is following me around the house calling me a b.... And a coward and crazy I know for sure I need to divorce. Why then do I still have reservations? He has...

mattiegee · mattiegee

Hello, I come from a family of 8 where both of my parents died of alcoholism. I've always accepted this fact and spoke out about alcohol and removed myself from situations when it got crazy. There is a lot of addiction in my family and my siblings wont even talk about the alcoholism of my parents. I'v...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

I log in and reply to a post, hit submit. Then I am logged out and the post does not appear. Was happening on Friday as well.

Enabler2013 · Enabler2013

Hi all. I've been wanting to find someone to talk to for weeks now. My man just keeps getting worse and worse. Long story but I'll try to tell the 'nutshell' version: When we got together we both drank...I think at that time I may have even drank more than he did (6 yrs ago). He drank beer and I drank vodk...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

Last night we hit an all time low around here. My AD got home from work, she got paid yesterday (works a part time job) we have proof that she had stolen some of my husbands SSI check and almost caused our rent check to bounce. We also are sure she recently stole a large amount of his pain medication. We we...

Sal77 · Sal77

Hi Everyone I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him b...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My share continues! We are at a very important part of the process and soon my manfriend and I can meet. Could be weeks. yikes. Its is amazing to be with a person who has had the same experience with a spouse A. No one could understand the horror of seeing your spouse disappear more than a common experience...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I did not freak out. I went to bed after reading al-anon books. He called me at 12:30 at night telling me he failed which I already assumed since he didn't call me at bedtime like he normally does, I just told him I was sleeping and would call him the next day. I woke up thinking about it so I, took a hot soak...

Ebunny59 · Ebunny59

After 3rd day of being sober, my 13 year old tells my ABF that he was more fun when he drank! This was after the lecture (while he was in detox) on how we need to try to reduce his stress for a couple of weeks, just until he can get use to being sober and part of life again. Then, on day 10, she tells him she feels l...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...

tortuga · tortuga

I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...

MorganManor · MorganManor

Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.

chayas · chayas

After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	As time goes on (Preview) Just a little note to share. When I first started alanon i was truely going to get my AH "fixed" was pretty sure they would have all the answers to fix him. When I went to my first meeting and was in total shock that they expected me, of all people, to do the same steps my sick AH had to do. I am ve...	1976love	2	332	Jan 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	My Son (Preview) My son has a drug problem. It has been going on for years and last week we had an intervention with him. He did admit he has a problem and he was willing to get help. He is now in a rehab center. I never thought I would have to go through any of this but I am sure we all thought that. I am asking for understand and h...	Dee3	4	339	Jan 27, 2013 by Courage
	Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board (Preview) IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 8 MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAVE HARMED AND BECAME willing to make amends to them allPlease join us and share your eSHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52406122/step-8-alanon/	hotrod	0	254	Jan 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Since becoming single my new love is food. (Preview) I am really struggling with my eating right now and am gaining weight. Last time I became single I lost weight and worked out a lot. Now I am in school sitting in class and studying a lot 5 classes right now 2 of which are twice a week, with 2 kids and work on the weekends I have really turned to food. I am not lo...	Breakingfree	2	369	Jan 26, 2013 by tiredtonite
	feeling sick thinking (Preview) I'm just not feeling my program tonight. My son who still hasn't moved out of course I still don't have the courage. Had a row with him completely reacted, I'm obviously resentful over what happened at the weekend and let go Of my anger, I'm still angry, he's out tonight and I feel like not letting him ba...	el-cee	1	353	Jan 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Detatchment during abusiveness is hard. (Preview) I kicked my A son out of the home over 2 months ago. This past week he calls and says that he "needs money for groceries" and that he needs to see a doctor. I went and picked him up and took him to the ER and paid for his medications when he was released. He was smart mouthed and rude to me several ti...	sheristeele	10	411	Jan 26, 2013 by likemyheart
	Newly Seeking Peace (Preview) It is difficult to write about something that has affected me my entire life yet have never really spoken to anyone about. I started to write this several times, but it keeps spinning out of control. So, I will try one more time to write just enough to get my story across. It will likely be hard to follow. I...	militantsparrow	6	382	Jan 26, 2013 by militantsparrow
	Calling her out (Preview) My A is trying to quit drinking. However many times she has tried to fool me and she is clearly drunk or at least buzzed. she repeats herself a lot when is buzzed. Clear give away. Anyway should I not call her out on it ? Should I just keep to myself ? I don't want to accuse her but then again I want to know and her...	Keaghan	8	626	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	In the bedroom with the A (Preview) I know this topic has probably been started before, but I had a tough time the other night...my AH was drinking and yelling at the kids and on and on, the typical chaos on a worknight (a worknight for me at least), and I wound up putting both children to bed, usually if AH is not picking a fight with me, he hel...	Minaret	12	669	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	New here. Married 3 years and just discovered last fall that my husband is an alcoholic. (Preview) Hi there. I had known my husband for almost six years. We got married in 2009. I discovered last fall that he had a drinking problem because he got arrested for OWI and he had a blood alcohol level of .352! Of course, I couldn't find him that night and after calling numerous police stations and area hospi...	LetDownandLost	3	373	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Police won't help! (Preview) I'm posting this because it's important for all of us as enablers to know! Once you have allowed your A friend or family member establish their "residence" with you, you can NOT force them to leave without officially evicting them. That can be a long drawn out process, it will also require y...	Mommamimi	10	414	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Is it a Choice??? (Preview) Why am I still having such a hard time realizing that NOTHING I do is going to make a difference? Believe me, I have tried it all - drill seargent, supportive wife, nurse and in the end, separated myself from the situation but still, he tries and fails. Part of me feels so sad for him when I see how insec...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	592	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Quick question (Preview) My AH claims he has been told and has read a lot of research about how a small percentage of people cannot ever be helped by recovery programs ( I.e. rehab and aa). Has anyone come across this research or is this just another one of his lame excuses to avoid recovery?	imom	10	373	Jan 26, 2013 by Aloha
	How Can You Still Love an AH, ABF When... (Preview) They abuse you physically, and verbally, uses you, doesnt agree with you, hates you, takes advantage of you, manipulates you abuse your children etc. etc.? I am not sure I understand this, are people that instantly forgiving or what is it. I am sincere about this question. Please shed some light on th...	oldergal	7	412	Jan 25, 2013 by Zimmy
	New here... new to alanon. (Preview) I am new to the idea of Al-Anon. My mother has suggested that I go. My partner of the last 4 years is an alcoholic. We have had numerous arguements.. lately things have gotten physical. Today I came home from work and he was stumbling and intoxicated. This just 1 1/2 weeks after he drug me across the h...	motherof5	6	302	Jan 25, 2013 by motherof5
	Tough to figure (Preview) My wife is an A. She is going to a psycholgist now and I thought she would be getting better. However things have changed. At first she was definitely sober. Maybe the first month. Now although she appears sober, something is clearly up. It's like instead of drinking a ton she now measures and knows just...	Keaghan	1	320	Jan 25, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Ok HP you got the reigns this time (Preview) 6 years of abuse my kids have endured may be ending with a bang. Unfortunately I have to go through the same scrutiny as well. A therapist for my middle son who lives with his great aunt called CPS. Unfortunately the manner the "data" was presented makes it sound like I knew they were going...	AStrongerMe	4	284	Jan 25, 2013 by Ebunny59
	Email Sent to daughter-22 yrs old-sinking (Preview) After hearing my daughter be drunk again this weekend and learning she was fighting with her one last friend whose been there for her since they were in the 1st grade, I decided to send this email to her. I probably shouldn't have as her replies were spewing hatred to me afterward. She threatened to wr...	Afraidparent	2	420	Jan 25, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	polluted mind? (Preview) I am sorry, my posts are so scared recently. But I just am trying hard to see through this. newest accusations of my ex, 'you have a polluted mind, with all that reading you do, false knowledge, it's not the truth about life...i feel sorry for you, i hope you realize one day, how wrong you are'....this an...	tortuga	6	362	Jan 24, 2013 by Annie1234
	OT prayer request (Preview) This is kinda off-topic but my grandmother is in her last few days on earth and our family could really use prayers and mental support. She has been ill for years, and stopped knowing us a long time ago but it is still hard, esp. for my mom and uncle. I went through much of the grieving process when she sto...	Number30	3	321	Jan 24, 2013 by Annie1234
	Stages of Co-Alcoholism (Preview) Hi I found this the other night and it was really interesting to see how my behaviour related with the alcoholics. This may interest some of you too: Stage 0: Alcoholic Characteristics: Non-drinker, No alcoholic behaviour or symptoms. Co-Alcoholic Characteristics: No co-al...	Tracey C	8	2018	Jan 24, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	When a friendship suddenly changes. (Preview) I've been chatting fairly regularly with a friend for quite a while. It was almost a psudo boyfriend/girlfriend kind of relationship, but I haven't been kidding myself that we're truly committed to one another. Just kind of settled him into the close friend category with the understanding that not...	Aloha	10	478	Jan 24, 2013 by Aloha
	Awesome news! (Preview) I just had to share my good news. My oldest son who graduates this year got accepted at his top pick university. I am so incredibly proud of him. Its nice to get good news. He works so hard and has maintained some awesome grades. I could not be prouder. Ok, enough parental bragging.	cinders	10	325	Jan 24, 2013 by el-cee
	Back to square one!!!! (Preview) My son, 19, has been behaving himself relatively well lately because I have asked him to leave and get his own place. Well, he has blown that tonight. He has been drinking since friday night and he storms in here drunk with a menacing look on his face. He starts ranting about a fight with someone and hes go...	el-cee	12	582	Jan 24, 2013 by el-cee
	Anger setting in. (Preview) I have realised that immediately after a crisis, any crisis, I am relieved that all is ok and I am actually quite happy and I can go on as if nothing has happened but then comes the reality and I begin to get angry. I then want to let my anger out by shouting and being dramatic but Im trying hard to work my progr...	el-cee	4	307	Jan 24, 2013 by el-cee
	Need to vent (Preview) Hi, Lost it a bit this morning. Was not in a great mood my A is still trying drinks most days, not fall down drunk but under the influence. I'm not mentioning it at all, going to my meetings trying to do the readings but I am fed up. I can't stand it when I see her under the influence with our two beautiful youn...	littlehob	7	300	Jan 24, 2013 by el-cee
	How to reply to Alcoholic's email (Preview) just feeling frstration, because I have my boundaries & have not spoken to the A since i decided to separate myself from his issues & the blame that he placed on me. now, I just received an email, semi-blaming me, and also crying out admitting he has problems & a disorder. I do not want to r...	MACTX	6	364	Jan 23, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Why do I continue to let this bother me (Preview) My husband and I have been having serious problems since he started drinking very heavily in October. He also started an affair with some trashy woman at this time. In October he first told me that he wants a divorce because "we are trapped in a loveless marriage." Throughout November and...	scaredandconfused	8	351	Jan 23, 2013 by scaredandconfused
	More positive job news... (Preview) When I applied for that totally fantastic job with the county, I gave two former mentors as references, along with the director of the daycare center my son attendes (and where I have been volunteering a lot since I was laid off). The daycare center director called me Friday night to tell me the count...	stephaniej	8	337	Jan 23, 2013 by Jackie11
	I did it (Preview) I signed the papers today and the divorce will be filed tomorrow. I told my AH and also told him that I am requesting he be removed from the house for the emotional safetynof myself and my kids. Of course he said he would need to be forcefully removed and that I was breaking up our family. He said everything...	imom	12	454	Jan 23, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Praying for Serenity (Preview) Last night I had a bad night of worry and stress. Tomorrow night, my AH goes to the DUI Hotel for three nights. I'm anxious to see how the weekend helps him with his recovery. Today he has been sober for 37 days, and I am hopeful that he is taking the right steps. In the meantime, as hopeful as I am about al...	Annie1234	4	335	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	after a messy break-up...my feelings! (Preview) It is now 4 weeks since we had that violent clash. where I seperated myself physically and geographically during the first 2 weeks, I felt a sort of peace and calm, that i haven't felt at all lately in this relationship. I almost felt selfish and guilty, but due to th eviolence of the events, I also felt st...	tortuga	5	376	Jan 23, 2013 by Jill
	Don't know whether to confront the A tonight about drinking (Preview) I've been on here before, and as is my way, I tend only to post when in the throes of the disease. My AH who is in recovery, but hasn't been as "in" recovery lately as in the past, is drinking tonight, I think. I came home and he's taking on online class upstairs in the den and when I passed by, it sme...	Findinghope	7	337	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	What is the problem (Preview) I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...l...	Cathyinaz	4	312	Jan 23, 2013 by Annie1234
	Something to think about.... (Preview) I read this today and it really made me think. It is not Alanon based.... author is unknown... but I feel that most of us whohave had many trials and tribulations in their life can see that the way we react and make choices, can change the way we are.... Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; &q...	Sweet Stanley	10	403	Jan 23, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Any grandparents out there (Preview) I'll try to make this short. Tomorrow is custody court for my beautiful almost 1 year old granddaughter. She was removed from my AD because the babies father reported her to the police for being drunk-it was a good thing because she eventually got into rehab and has made an amazing turn around (long h...	tired of trying	4	486	Jan 23, 2013 by tired of trying
	alcoholic disease vs. social drinker??... and the thoughts after that! (Preview) the reason Im asking this is that i took a time-out in the interaction between myself and my A. i dont say boyfriend anymore, since confusion has mounted up so quickly in the past month, that I didnt really have taken the time to reflect on what was actually going on. I was overwhelmed and scared by the spe...	tortuga	4	366	Jan 23, 2013 by milkwood
	I miss my son (Preview) I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed. I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now I guess I'm in need of a hug..... -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Th...	Cathyinaz	9	479	Jan 23, 2013 by Magster
	Was thinking about my mom. (Preview) I wrote this on the AA board, but I know there are many struggling parents that worry about their adult children on this board and I figured I would share it here too. I don't know what you might gain from this (maybe some hope), but this it just one part of my experience in recovery: For years and year I tho...	pinkchip	10	453	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	Just want to say (Preview) It's been 3 week since I've seen my son and a couple since I last talked to him. In this time I have been doing good in letting go without the fear and getting better every day. I have finally realized that what I have been doing all this time only made my life worse and didn't help one bit...I HAVE FINALLY C...	Cathyinaz	10	368	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	one week on! (Preview) So our dear son has a place to stay at my sister inlaws, he has made it into work with a little bit of help from her having to wake him up a few times, she has not been happy with his comings and goings, providing meals for him of which he has not been turning up for, my husband is in constant contact with the pair...	Katy	3	449	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	I am such a wimp (Preview) My attorney wants me to come in tomorrow to sign the divorce papers so we can finally file. I don't know why I keep having reservations about this. When he is following me around the house calling me a b.... And a coward and crazy I know for sure I need to divorce. Why then do I still have reservations? He has...	imom	13	1013	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	crazy family PLEASE HELP (Preview) Hello, I come from a family of 8 where both of my parents died of alcoholism. I've always accepted this fact and spoke out about alcohol and removed myself from situations when it got crazy. There is a lot of addiction in my family and my siblings wont even talk about the alcoholism of my parents. I'v...	mattiegee	5	436	Jan 23, 2013 by orchidlover
	Site troubles ?? Still going on ... (Preview) I log in and reply to a post, hit submit. Then I am logged out and the post does not appear. Was happening on Friday as well.	LeenieBeanie	1	264	Jan 22, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Newbie...can we talk? (Preview) Hi all. I've been wanting to find someone to talk to for weeks now. My man just keeps getting worse and worse. Long story but I'll try to tell the 'nutshell' version: When we got together we both drank...I think at that time I may have even drank more than he did (6 yrs ago). He drank beer and I drank vodk...	Enabler2013	9	385	Jan 22, 2013 by Enabler2013
	sh*t hit the fan - now what? (Preview) Last night we hit an all time low around here. My AD got home from work, she got paid yesterday (works a part time job) we have proof that she had stolen some of my husbands SSI check and almost caused our rent check to bounce. We also are sure she recently stole a large amount of his pain medication. We we...	Mommamimi	8	599	Jan 22, 2013 by Jerry F
	New here... (Preview) Hi Everyone I am new here. I live with my boyfriend who is an alcoholic. He is a wonderful person who I love very much. I just don't know how to deal with his drinking and the effects of his drinking...no motivation to get work (he is self-employed) and asking to borrow money from me. I want to help him b...	Sal77	3	271	Jan 22, 2013 by Breakingfree
	The non A partner (Preview) My share continues! We are at a very important part of the process and soon my manfriend and I can meet. Could be weeks. yikes. Its is amazing to be with a person who has had the same experience with a spouse A. No one could understand the horror of seeing your spouse disappear more than a common experience...	Debilyn	2	587	Jan 22, 2013 by Breakingfree
	My exAh already had a slip and (Preview) I did not freak out. I went to bed after reading al-anon books. He called me at 12:30 at night telling me he failed which I already assumed since he didn't call me at bedtime like he normally does, I just told him I was sleeping and would call him the next day. I woke up thinking about it so I, took a hot soak...	Breakingfree	5	410	Jan 21, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Oh oh, now what? (Preview) After 3rd day of being sober, my 13 year old tells my ABF that he was more fun when he drank! This was after the lecture (while he was in detox) on how we need to try to reduce his stress for a couple of weeks, just until he can get use to being sober and part of life again. Then, on day 10, she tells him she feels l...	Ebunny59	4	485	Jan 21, 2013 by Mommamimi
	It happened (Preview) My exABF was just found deceased in his car last night. While I will be OK I'm terribly sad. I didn't break it off because I didn't love him, I loved him a lot but feared this day and I couldn't put me and my kids through it. He was a kind, sweet soul. He was sick and plagued with demons. He wanted to be sober...	AStrongerMe	20	582	Jan 21, 2013 by Annie1234
	manic depression and/or alcoholism?? (Preview) I know it is a fact that alcoholism is a disease as such. I also found out that alcoholism can lead to psychic disorders. It's not my business, but I'm still concerned what I'm confronted with, or attracted to, in my own sick behavior. Since the A is in withdrawal, he has loss of memory of facts that happen...	tortuga	9	460	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Newbie - Living this life too long now - needing strength and guidence Please help! (Preview) Hi Everyone. I am new here. I've read some of your posts quielty to my husband, we have the door locked to our room so hopefully my drug addicted daughter and/or her children can't hear me. So many have hit home... so so many... like so many of you we are just so tired of living like this! My husband is il...	Mommamimi	7	457	Jan 21, 2013 by Mommamimi
	New To This Board (Preview) Hoping for some advice about this website. I just signed up since I am unable to attend Al Anon meetings any more due to my heavy work & school schedule but I so do need support since divorcing my AH and still having "emotional rollercoaster" rides. Can someone direct me to the best resou...	MorganManor	3	286	Jan 21, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Sarcasm and jokes (Preview) My AH is the king of sarcasm and joking. He accuses me of being too sensitive and taking things too personally, but I feel that his remarks are cutting, mean, and unnecessary. He says it's his way of having fun. Umm, that's what he said about the drinking, too, ugh. Anyway, without going into a long s...	ilovedogs	7	1832	Jan 21, 2013 by milkwood
	Short Share :) (Preview) Ok .. lol .. as short as I can make it. That old saying time is the healer of old wounds is just so very true. That doesn't say 5 min, an hour, a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade .. it just says time. That whole saying of sometimes quickly sometimes slowly, ... time does heal. I was thinking today (rut o...	Pushka	6	339	Jan 21, 2013 by pinkchip
	Is There Any Hope? (Preview) Hello everyone, I'm a newbie, and this is the first day of the rest of my life. The last two days I'd been fighting a flu bug, and last night was a night of chills, sweats, pain, agony...and then an epiphany. I realized that's been the way I've felt for most of the 1 1/2 years I've been with my ABF. In the dark e...	Raven Juniper	8	333	Jan 21, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Suggestions: Books to help Mother of Adult Alcoholic Child (Preview) I just joined this forum. Someone suggested a book in another thread (Setting Boundaries with your Adult Children) which I have requested from my library. I would like to know if there are any other books that people have found helpful? Just by reading excerpts from the book I requested, I realize...	lgnutah	3	743	Jan 21, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What is the book you all recommend (Preview) For enablers? It's one that is a suggested read here a lot and I can't find the name of it. I am divorced from my ah and healing if that helps point you in the right direction...I think it's about letting go and detachment.	abbyalana	10	321	Jan 21, 2013 by one_moment
	letting go (Preview) After several relapses, two rehab stays, 3 different sober living facilities, my 20yo son is officially homeless. Fortunately, I have Al Anon, a wonderful sponsor and supportive friends and family. I repeat the serenity prayer, the three C's, the slogans over and over and over again. I read my lite...	chayas	4	409	Jan 21, 2013 by Magster
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.