Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsusie · sadsusie

I left my AH a week and a half ago. It was more than the alcohol...but I still hope for him a chance at recovery. I understand that I cannot control what he does, it is not my responsibility. I don't want to coerce him into going to AA, but I do want to try to make it easier to reach out. I just don't know...I was...

sportychick · sportychick

Last August we moved from Vancouver Canada back to my home country of Sydney Australia. My qualifier is Canadian. This week my qualifier Husband has had a really bad eye infection. Turns out he has viral conjunctivitis. I have had a hard time showing him compassion because the way he carries on you wo...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I should be happy, its July 4th and I'm at work. I got to spend time with my nephew today which is always fun..he's 1. However all I can think about today are the 'what if my A starts drinking again today?' etc. I've had bad experiences with holidays of any kind many times in the past and as good as the last 4 ye...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband got home drunk. He collapsed in the back room it looked like he wasn't breathing. I got close to him and asked if he was ok i got no response from him. I got concerned and kind of shook him to see if he was conscious or not. He rolled over and slapped me. I said please don't hit me but then he went into a...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I had a good afternoon and evening with my daughter and grandson today. Just a normal day with a trip to a movie, then home to TRY to grill hamburgers (they wouldn't cook up - guess the overpriced pre-lighted charcoals have taught me a lesson) and then TRY to broil them in the oven. It must have taken an h...

Venera · Venera

My AH has been drinking in average one week every 1-2 months. I am due to deliver our third baby in 3 months and need start making plans who is going to come with me and pick me up from the hospital. He wants this baby and when sober is a good husband, unfortunately I have no idea when his next drinking period i...

Venera · Venera

Hi, please share your opinions. I am still new to this and dont know al the answers. I know I need to take care of my own recovery, but some questions come up about the AH as we go. He is in Mexico with his A friend for a week, the excuse to go is to "take care of the house", we are building a house over t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Last night, I called my son at the place where he's been paroled to stay on tether at the time set by the state to the phone he's been issued that allows only incoming calls. Phone rang 4 times. Picked up. Hung up. Since it is a strange phone system, I called again. He picked up. His words were slurre...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am looking at my happy 4th of July post and I am thinking....OK Yea, I was codep. but I know in my heart I was a good mom....THAT is probably the ONE thing I did NOT screw up on... However, that said, I still presented the program by example to my girls...The older one glommed on to it like a pro...Just tucke...

neshema2 · neshema2

Didn't think I would want to show my face..But I see the handsome and pretty smiling faces at me when I read...Not ashamed of who they are and even proud to be who they are So..Here is a pic of me and my bunny buddy last month...I was in the bathroom, LOL when I took this I am sooo bad taking pics, as a child my si...

Lyne · Lyne

I have heard people say over the years that they think people in recovery get addicted to their meetings. Addiction implies a behavior that is negative that someone repeats over and over again with the same results. So last night in my F2F I shared that I felt alanon is not an addiction for me, but a li...

chamoisdog · chamoisdog

My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...

deacon · deacon

From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...

Venera · Venera

How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?

Bettina · Bettina

The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina

Jerry F · Jerry F

for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...

Bettina · Bettina

"It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...

Bettina · Bettina

Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?

newgirl17 · newgirl17

I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........

neshema2 · neshema2

I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...

Jen61 · Jen61

I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.

John · John

http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...

neshema2 · neshema2

This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...

Jen61 · Jen61

I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...

John · John

I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...

Venera · Venera

Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?

Tasha · Tasha

-- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM

silent · silent

my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...

neshema2 · neshema2

-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM

Muffin · Muffin

Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...

lluucy · lluucy

I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...

daisy31 · daisy31

Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...

Lyne · Lyne

So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...

oldergal · oldergal

Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal

oldergal · oldergal

Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...

John · John

I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...

rehprof · rehprof

So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I left but I hope for help for my AH (Preview) I left my AH a week and a half ago. It was more than the alcohol...but I still hope for him a chance at recovery. I understand that I cannot control what he does, it is not my responsibility. I don't want to coerce him into going to AA, but I do want to try to make it easier to reach out. I just don't know...I was...	sadsusie	12	451	Jul 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	The family disease. (Preview) Last August we moved from Vancouver Canada back to my home country of Sydney Australia. My qualifier is Canadian. This week my qualifier Husband has had a really bad eye infection. Turns out he has viral conjunctivitis. I have had a hard time showing him compassion because the way he carries on you wo...	sportychick	4	351	Jul 5, 2013 by sportychick
	In a bad head space right now (Preview) I should be happy, its July 4th and I'm at work. I got to spend time with my nephew today which is always fun..he's 1. However all I can think about today are the 'what if my A starts drinking again today?' etc. I've had bad experiences with holidays of any kind many times in the past and as good as the last 4 ye...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	292	Jul 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	I had to leave... (Preview) My husband got home drunk. He collapsed in the back room it looked like he wasn't breathing. I got close to him and asked if he was ok i got no response from him. I got concerned and kind of shook him to see if he was conscious or not. He rolled over and slapped me. I said please don't hit me but then he went into a...	newgirl17	16	553	Jul 5, 2013 by sadsusie
	My day. My learnings. My gratitude. (Preview) I had a good afternoon and evening with my daughter and grandson today. Just a normal day with a trip to a movie, then home to TRY to grill hamburgers (they wouldn't cook up - guess the overpriced pre-lighted charcoals have taught me a lesson) and then TRY to broil them in the oven. It must have taken an h...	grateful2be	4	224	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	How to plan for delivery of a new baby? (Preview) My AH has been drinking in average one week every 1-2 months. I am due to deliver our third baby in 3 months and need start making plans who is going to come with me and pick me up from the hospital. He wants this baby and when sober is a good husband, unfortunately I have no idea when his next drinking period i...	Venera	11	348	Jul 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Confront or ignore? (Preview) Hi, please share your opinions. I am still new to this and dont know al the answers. I know I need to take care of my own recovery, but some questions come up about the AH as we go. He is in Mexico with his A friend for a week, the excuse to go is to "take care of the house", we are building a house over t...	Venera	17	808	Jul 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Nature, my son, and poetry rephrased (Preview) Last night, I called my son at the place where he's been paroled to stay on tether at the time set by the state to the phone he's been issued that allows only incoming calls. Phone rang 4 times. Picked up. Hung up. Since it is a strange phone system, I called again. He picked up. His words were slurre...	grateful2be	5	370	Jul 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Alanon and our children (Preview) I am looking at my happy 4th of July post and I am thinking....OK Yea, I was codep. but I know in my heart I was a good mom....THAT is probably the ONE thing I did NOT screw up on... However, that said, I still presented the program by example to my girls...The older one glommed on to it like a pro...Just tucke...	neshema2	4	272	Jul 4, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Never thought I would do THIS---But you guys inspire me (Preview) Didn't think I would want to show my face..But I see the handsome and pretty smiling faces at me when I read...Not ashamed of who they are and even proud to be who they are So..Here is a pic of me and my bunny buddy last month...I was in the bathroom, LOL when I took this I am sooo bad taking pics, as a child my si...	neshema2	4	209	Jul 4, 2013 by hotrod
	addicted to alanon? (Preview) I have heard people say over the years that they think people in recovery get addicted to their meetings. Addiction implies a behavior that is negative that someone repeats over and over again with the same results. So last night in my F2F I shared that I felt alanon is not an addiction for me, but a li...	Lyne	6	835	Jul 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Stopping the verbal abuse!! (Preview) My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...	chamoisdog	11	407	Jul 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	husband sober 17yrs relapse (Preview) My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...	nancymom4	17	518	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Melt down to much expectations (Preview) I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...	Ms co-dependent	6	376	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Blaming others (Preview) Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...	orchidlover	10	400	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	I've been to several al anon meetings now but I am really confused (Preview) From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...	deacon	9	543	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	Did your A start AA? Or any kind of treatment? (Preview) How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?	Venera	5	350	Jul 4, 2013 by neshema2
	If Winter comes (Preview) The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina	Bettina	4	254	Jul 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Only one huge consequence... (Preview) for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...	Jerry F	4	244	Jul 4, 2013 by Pushka
	Mistaken for Love! (Preview) "It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi	Bettina	7	513	Jul 4, 2013 by orchidlover
	Opinions Wanted (Preview) When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	377	Jul 3, 2013 by Bettina
	the reality :( (Preview) The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...	newgirl17	4	432	Jul 3, 2013 by newgirl17
	Comments welcome about this dilemma! (Preview) The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...	WorkingThroughIt	11	450	Jul 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	A/D is threatening me and her son! (Preview) My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...	Highlyfavored	4	281	Jul 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	What did I do to take care of me today??? (Preview) Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...	neshema2	4	512	Jul 3, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Went to a meeting last night! (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...	nancymom4	5	327	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I think we can love our A's if we use BALANCE (Preview) Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...	neshema2	3	289	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	Food for Thought! (Preview) Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?	Bettina	5	317	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	becoming aware (Preview) I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...	newgirl17	6	328	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	say what you mean, mean what you say but dont say it mean (Preview) I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...	giraffe13	3	660	Jul 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	My son (Preview) I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........	Cathyinaz	28	600	Jul 2, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What am I grateful for today (Preview) I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...	neshema2	3	204	Jul 2, 2013 by Venera
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...	Jerry F	2	256	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	AD on rampage!! (Preview) Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...	Highlyfavored	4	309	Jul 2, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Got set up this morning.... (Preview) and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...	Jerry F	8	487	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	When your Old Alcoholic Home Comes back to Bite You! (Preview) WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...	Jozie	4	296	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I just told my AH that I could not be around him when he is drinking. Of course he really is not drinking. (Preview) I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.	Jen61	8	338	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Woke up by News Reporter this morning... (Preview) http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...	John	5	307	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	I understand I don't get it (Preview) Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...	Ms co-dependent	7	479	Jul 2, 2013 by Bettina
	What the last 11 yrs. (not 12) has meant to me (Preview) This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...	neshema2	8	362	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Old timer returning...Need my board (Preview) Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...	neshema2	5	372	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Boundaries (Preview) I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...	Jen61	5	213	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	A response to many post.... (Preview) I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...	John	9	324	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Sponsor (Preview) Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?	Venera	4	207	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alanon is in rough shape again : ( (Preview) -- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM	Tasha	9	288	Jul 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	me again.so confused and nervous (Preview) my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...	silent	4	382	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	I got a GOOD one 4 you guys re: BOUNDARIES (Preview) -- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM	neshema2	3	489	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Husband is Alcoholic/Pothead... (Preview) Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...	Muffin	5	763	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	My Mom died (Preview) I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...	lluucy	13	453	Jul 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	To thine own self be true is a good quote (Preview) Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...	daisy31	5	408	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	very screwed up family dynamics (Preview) So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...	Lyne	6	545	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Anger toward the alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...	slogan_jim	19	586	Jun 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Pictures from Eden and a blab (Preview) I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...	Debilyn	7	472	Jul 1, 2013 by pineapple
	Got a good idea for those who can't stay grounded (Preview) I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...	neshema2	4	349	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	What Are Some Telltale Signs That Your A is Getting Sober? (Preview) Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal	oldergal	8	415	Jul 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries and Expectations (Preview) Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...	oldergal	3	520	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	While writing my post "A response to many post" last night... (Preview) I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...	John	4	261	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	It's hard not to be REALLY angry (Preview) So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...	rehprof	11	408	Jun 30, 2013 by Mattie
	When do you know it's time to move on (Preview) I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.	wings of a dove	8	462	Jun 30, 2013 by giraffe13
	The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	496	Jun 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.