My son - Al-Anon Family Group

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

My son

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

It's so hard not to cry about what we can't fix and the feelings are strong within. I often say WHY WHY is this still happening after all he has been through. I want so hard to just go away and never come back to watch the one my love destroy himself. I get the text and am asked for comments and I don't answer. I want to ignore them completely, I don't want to be involved. I have no answers, I have no comments.

Is that bad? should I make comments? He is alive..... He is coherent at this moment.

He has been evicted......a new challenge for me.

My day is not a happy one and I have no one to talk to.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so sorry. I hope that this means that he will find his bottom quicker. Take good care of yourself. Remember that you always have us. {{{Hugs.}}}

Mandy123 · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Cathy))))),

You have us to lean on and your HP.

Read your literature, pray and I hope you can find comfort here.

I am sending love and prayers to you and your son.

While I do know the pain this disease can cause, I cannot even imagine as a mother what it is like to watch your child go down that path.

We are all here for you.

Mandy

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

You always have us and are not alone! I am sorry this is happening to him. What are you planning for your Independence Day? We are headed to a local park later to have a picnic dinner and hang out until the fireworks start tonight. I am sending you and him prayers, love and support!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathy Your MIP Family and H P are right by your side.

I know how painful this situation is Pray, read your literature, as has been suggested, and listen to the small vocie within.

HP will guide you

In my thoughts

Highlyfavored · Senior Member

Praying for you and your son.

Gettingitright!!

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Today I'm am lazy and this week have decided I needed this house painted and a roof repair. So I have somebody coming over to give me estimates on the painting. It's been a long time so I hope it's not too expensive or I have to paint myself..lol. yeah right. I finally text my son back and just said: " I honesty have no comment. I wish I had a solution. Can only give you my love and prayers that you will figure it out." He wants ME to comment on his eviction. I'm not going to get sucked in. He want's me to take over like I've done so many times in the past. No I won't....he will be homeless by HIS choice...I will not feel guilty I'm not there to take him in. I have to be honest....it is so hard to be strong but I can work though this...I can. Let Go Let God....and keep him in my heart no matter what happens.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Continued prayers Cathy

Glad you are keeping the focus on your life and home

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

Hugs Cathy, Keep taking care of you, sending love and support. Hugs P :)

Rose50 · Senior Member

(((Cathy))

You are not alone. You are doing the right thing by staying out of the way and letting his HP take care of him. I know how much it hurts...I am sending my support and prayers,.

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you all......I am NOT alone today. I have you all and it feels good. No matter what day, what hour or what minute, I have friends that will walk with me and talk me though my fears.

The estimate came in at the right price so I signed on the line. I'm happy and grateful to have the means to put my home back in the shape it should be. I have spent so much money on my son over the last 4 years I didn't have it to spend on my needs and desires so it feels good...and it will help my home to get a new coat of paint

. I can come home, drive up to see a beautiful exterior and give thanks to HP for giving me the ability to do the next right thing and the means to do it.

Next is the roof.......

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathy, it is a hard day on many. sigh. I know you hurt. You know no matter what you do you will feel hurt. So I invite you to go to a store that has flowers and plants, just go walk among them. or go to a park that has flowers. Do your best to fill your heart with some lightness.

Or watch Netflix or order a cool movie from amazon. Its hard to do but it does help.

Do you know anyone you could go help? I was just thinking I wish someone would come help me do my dishes. lol.

I wish I didn't know how much you and others hurt when it is our kids that are so sick. I mean mine can be depressed or hurt and it hurts me.

Cathy I was just thinking how I believe we feel so much worse than they do. I mean it. Maybe if you can put yourself in his place that would help.

I mean if it was that bad, if he had hit a horrible place, he would have walked into aa by now.

Also having no one to talk to is super hard. Sometimes it is more that ya feel out of it, unconnected. For me just going to the grocery store helps.

glad you came here. yak and vent at us! love,debilyn

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh Cathy-On some level I understand what you are going through. I have helped my son with money way too much. My son is dependent on pain killers after two back surgeries and is addicted to pot. He doesn't see it. It hurts so much to see him suffer. My own recovery has to include breaking my codependency with him. What a huge task this will be. I am here for you, Lyne

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Cathy)))) I will not share misery with you cause misery loves company and MIP isn't the family I wish to have share more of it. I also got "the phone call" this morning. First it was my daughter-in-law on the phone with my 48year old son in the back ground and then it was my son with my daughter-in-law in the back ground. She was hyper "bashing" and he sounded like a prime candidate for a depression assessment. "I've got to tell you how my life's going on" he says...as if all of us don't know yet...I couldn't make out what was going on until I kept making adjustments to my cell phone and my hearing aids and then when I could I would appreciate not knowing. INSANITY!! Nothing changes because Nothing Changes!!. I had a contract I had to do and told him..."I've got a suggestion for you...leave the house and go fishing now and if you can't find your fishing poles come and get mine". I left and when I got back my poles were still in the same place I left them and soooo all kinds of stuff could have happened as I had left it on God's in-basket as I have before. I'm not trying to guess what has happened. Instead I got myself reconnected to the internet so I could find out how my wife and step daughter are doing and then I came here to find out how you all are doing because what you do helps me soooo much and then I'll do some resting and then some law mowing and pup playing and if he calls again just maybe some telephone talking...he isn't ready...he's got someone to blame and he hates looking at himself in the mirror (a family fault) and dispises the question "So what is your part in it"? Nice day outside right now and I'd rather be happy than right.

Be Happy. Mahalo and Aloha ((((hugs)))) smile

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathyinaz wrote:
It's so hard not to cry about what we can't fix and the feelings are strong within. I often say WHY WHY is this still happening after all he has been through. I want so hard to just go away and never come back to watch the one my love destroy himself. I get the text and am asked for comments and I don't answer. I want to ignore them completely, I don't want to be involved. I have no answers, I have no comments.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Cathy))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sooo sorry......this sounds like my lil brother/buddy who keeps destroying himself too..............I don't know what to say, I just wanna give you a BIG hug and make you a cuppa tea.................so I will just send you some comforting energy and hugs and ask universe angels to give you the hug, I can't...................I am sooo sorry.....Please keep talking to us, it does help...........Peace, my friend

grateful2be · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi, Cathy. Glad to read your update and the solution you have chosen to take good care of you with your HP's guidance, support and wisdom through your mind and heart and the people on this board. Several weeks ago I felt that uncertainty that we generally do in relationship to our sons and you reached out to me and invited me to hold fast to saying "no" to my son's moving back in with me - even for a short time. After last night, I felt HPs affirmation of my decision to that "no." His pattern is still his pattern - no real changes without AA. Today, you are holding fast to your "no." Whether you take him in or bail him out or say no to all of that - your son will do what he believes he needs to do. You've loved yourself and him enough to let him be, let him do, let him experience the effects of this disease without lecturing, pleading, begging, getting angry, yelling or giving in to his disease and its desire to destroy you both. Hugs, sister, and many prayers will continue for you and for him.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

Cathyinaz wrote:
Thank you all......I am NOT alone today. I have you all and it feels good. No matter what day, what hour or what minute, I have friends that will walk with me and talk me though my fears.

The estimate came in at the right price so I signed on the line. I'm happy and grateful to have the means to put my home back in the shape it should be. I have spent so much money on my son over the last 4 years I didn't have it to spend on my needs and desires so it feels good...and it will help my home to get a new coat of paint . I can come home, drive up to see a beautiful exterior and give thanks to HP for giving me the ability to do the next right thing and the means to do it.

Next is the roof.......

There ya go, Cathy....I got my exterior painted by my handyman and he did a beeeutiful job, and I landscaped the outside and it looks real cute.....roof is 2003 so I got some time on it, but it still looks newer than that, lol...

yea, we are here for ya...no worries on that and as you let go and take care of you, life will get better...I know it will....we gotta claim whats ours by divine right, it isn't gonna be handed to us on a spoon...I learned that the hard way. I had to reach out for that better life...that calmer, more serene existence....and DAILY i have to work on me to maintain, otherwise I am at risk for a bad slip and slide down the ole coda rabbit hole and I dn't want anymore of that HUGS

Cathyinaz · ~*Service Worker*~

(((( neshema2 ))))

I also want to do some landscaping. I want God's beauty to be part of my new found goal to fix my home up. Now I'm thinking about all the beautiful plants and flowers that this desert environment can handle. The wonders of the internet and lists I am making is keeping me busy this evening. Tomorrow I want to start my candle making since I have the day off. Path to Serenity will be proud of me if I can do this.

(((( hugs and love to all of you....I am so grateful tonight ))))

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

Well, between your first post and last, wow..recovery in action!Â I love itÂ

ParisMemories · Senior Member

Hi Cathy

I am keeping you and your son in my prayers. Trust in your HP, he will give you the right words, and protect you both. Hugs.

Paris

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

You work an inspiring program for sure! Sending you more love and support!

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