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Where to get help?
(Preview)
This is a different kind of encounter with an alcoholic/addict than I'm used to. To make a long story short, a workman I hired for one small job insists he wants to work for me on big jobs and is refusing to take no for an answer. I quickly saw that some kind of addiction was at work, I don't know if it's alcoh...
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Mattie
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7
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430
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"Reflections"
(Preview)
"In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, And what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself in a crystal clearness. Our life is a long and ardous quest after "Truth". Gandhi
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Bettina
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2
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299
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it only takes a minute!
(Preview)
It only takes a minute to express how I feel these days! I am ecstatic & thrilled to be having days like these. I remember before I even knew what the word meant, I was elated & full of joy! Whatever I have to face from here, I am going to face it head-on w/o fear. I know that it isn't always going to be e...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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216
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turning off mom protection mode
(Preview)
My daughters live in A. stopped putting money in "their" account to pay bills. She found out yesterday ... which his reply was going to a bar all night. She then blew his phone up with txts. He said he's moving in an apartment. She cant afford the home she bought without help. I wrote her $300...
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sweeetr
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2
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396
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if it wasn't my story, I wouldn't believe it!
(Preview)
Yes sir, if it wasn't my story, I would not believe it. I have been seriously thinking that soon I would like to write my autobiography. I am game for it but don't plan on writing it for anyone except myself. I don't mean a 4th step either. I would have to include stuff that have nothing to do w/ the disease of...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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564
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"KINDSIGHT"
(Preview)
"View your life with "Kindsight". Instead of beating yourself up and asking: "What was I thinking"? Look with loving kindness and ask yourself. "What was I learning "? unk
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Bettina
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8
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319
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Ponder this!
(Preview)
Givers Have To Set Limits Because Takers Rarely Do.... Irma Kurtz
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Bettina
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7
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379
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A walk in the woods
(Preview)
Yesterday I took a long walk, through our woods. I hadn't been back there for quite a while. Nothing better,with the fall crispness in the air, to commune with nature. When I started out, I had an agenda of posting "No hunting" signs, nothing more. But mother nature/ HP sucked me in, and i...
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islandtime
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6
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344
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Relationship changes as result of Alanon recovery
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I've been lurking on this board for a while. I really appreciate all of the ESH in all of your shares. I am a very grateful member of Al-anon with 4 years in the program, and I attend weekly F2F meetings. I have a sponsor and have been working the steps very slowly but diligently (I seem t...
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talkinglikerain
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7
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640
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AH 5 months sober and wants to separate
(Preview)
My AH has been sober for 5 months. The verbal abuse has stopped which is such a relief. Last night he came home from work and said he wanted to end the marriage. He said he knew I was having an affair and had many online friends. This totally blew my mind. I tried to tell him I was not having an affair and I didn'...
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Beabop910
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14
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1933
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Letting It Go
(Preview)
Just posting here quick so I do not send the man I just split with a message trying to say something that makes him see I'm changing or "you threw the best thing away" or anything that would try to control his response or feelings or actions towards me. I must remember I don't want to try to convi...
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RunnerChick
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10
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489
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How long have I been doing this to myself?
(Preview)
Being much more aware of my own thinking in recent times, I've been catching myself doing something really alarming- multiple times each day. I think I've been doing it forever, but I've only just become aware of it. Here's an example. This afternoon, I'm walking in the park with my daughter and dog. I...
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Melly1248
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16
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515
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My son took charge
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone I just want to let you know my son has taken charge and got himself into a rehab, then has plans for a sober living environment after that. He did it on his own....thank you HP. I took this weekend to let go and take care of me and you know what; he survived. He didn't want to be homeless...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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592
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I finally moved & have more a voice to my alcoholic mothers famiyl all of a sudden :)
(Preview)
So I moved to Cornwall from Manchester & decided I'd textd my cousin to ask if she'd look out for mum now i'm here as i know she get upset that she's not included in stuff they do. She was very defensive & said she's 'always' there for my mum, which is bull. Mum & me were stood outside her house on...
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qwerty49
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4
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238
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I'm new here... It seems I found what I was searching for
(Preview)
Hi, I've spent a lot of time searching online for a 'cure / solution / fix' for my A. It took a while to realise that in doing that, I was becoming lost to myself in place of what is going on for him. Al-Anon helpline was a help, but having read through some of your posts, I came to realise that some people pos...
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Tnika
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8
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558
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Feeling Victimized Frustrated abused rejected and misunderstood
(Preview)
Since I was child I always experience of getting bullied off my childhood neighbors and also in school. I've seen my parents are always fighting each other. Maybe because my father is alcoholic. I remember the time I was walking home crying because of my cruel neighbors. They always called me gay but...
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Marko
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9
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550
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Thank you all :)
(Preview)
Hi everyone Thank you souls who took the time to wish me a happy birthday....if this were facebook I would have clicked a BIG like after each one and I read ALL of them... Actually it meant you all are glad that I was "hatched" and I appreciate it Had a nice day yesterday....my D#1 sent me a beau...
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neshema2
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4
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262
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I don't know what to do anymore....
(Preview)
My A is my husband. We have been married for 20 years and together for 25... since I was 15. We have been struggling with this for about two years this time. He had trouble about 8 years ago but got sober and stayed sober for about 6 years. This time is different... he won't get help even though he says...
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Jacquiej
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6
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550
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Feeling crappy when I leave meetings
(Preview)
Hi guys, I'm a bit frustrated at the moment. I have been going to a minimum of 2 meetings a week. I have a scheduled time to call my sponsor weekly and I have a few other program friends whom I chat with every so often during the week. My biggest issue is that I don't feel connected to my sponsor. This past...
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ilovedogs
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10
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563
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Great expectations
(Preview)
I had a light bulb moment...expectations are what has led to my sadness, dissapointment,ect, ect. My expectations were what anyone elses would be. In my marriage, I expected to..... be loved enjoy each others company be nurtured to ha...
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islandtime
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6
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424
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MY BIRTHDAY is today so I am OFF on sabatical till MONDAY
(Preview)
I am gonna do some fun stuff.......NO recovery work for Sunday....Its my Birthday, now at 3am, I am still up from watching good movies. Going to go to sleep now and later???? HAVE FUN.....maybe I'll go browse the books at goodwill....OR play on my new "jump ball" where I straddle this big...
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neshema2
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13
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430
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to old-timers: Al Anon book recommendation for father in slight denial but open to information!
(Preview)
hello all old-timers, I am seeking for advice. My parents are in town. And alcohol runs in our family, it's a long time history. Not all binge drinkers, but alcohol has always been omnipresent. So for me it has become obvious it is creating problems, where if it would be absent, life could have been nice...
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tortuga
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8
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421
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Great Intimacy Meeting today
(Preview)
Thought I would share a cool meeting idea with my recovery pals: Today I went to a great special 3 hr. workshop Al-anon meeting on intimacy. It had so many well thought through ideas and a panel of people with very differing intimacy situations just answering questions out of their own experience--...
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luv123
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3
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494
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Even Gandhi!
(Preview)
"It is wrong and immoral for a nation to supply intoxicating liquor to those who are addicted to drink ". Gandhi (10/2/1869-1/30/48) -- Edited by Bettina on Saturday 21st of September 2013 09:02:04 PM -- Edited by Bettina on Sunday 22nd of September 2013 12:34:55 AM
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Bettina
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32
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553
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It's only words.
(Preview)
One thing that's been hitting the "hurt" button with me is reading posts from people talking about their A as their "best friend" who has been "lost" to them. 'Cause my A used to be my best friend too, but I don't think about that anymore. It's been so long since there wa...
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Melly1248
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6
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446
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Too busy for anything else!
(Preview)
I have noticed my program tools slipping with me basically living at school now and working the weekends. I have had to let house work go and am not able to make it to my Tuesday evening meetings or find time to do much else except school work. I am doing good in school, but they said this program was intense...
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Breakingfree
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5
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548
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I feel like I am disappointing my higher power.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I have mentioned in the past that I decided to foster a cat so that I could give pet ownership a try and give me some company. They offered me a cat that had been poisoned by his previous owner and he started experiencing seizures. I br...
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slogan_jim
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11
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452
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Isolating begin today
(Preview)
Hi I'm not in my head or in my body I don't no where I am . My home is now a house of secrets the doors are closed and whispering begins . I have broke down my walls and busted my bubble I am open to all around me to gain access to . I'm scared my confusion has taking over me. I pray that my break down does not have my hu...
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Ms co-dependent
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8
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472
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Time for some internal housekeeping. Scary.
(Preview)
Hi everyone i have posted here a couple of times and find myself frequently seeking comfort and learning on these pages. So here I am again, and that can only mean there's been yet another drama with the ABH. Promises, promises. All broken. I kicked him out of the house a month ago after his abuse went b...
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Sun sun
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14
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564
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H.A.L.T. prevention
(Preview)
I am currently understanding 'taking care of ME' by observing very strictly anti-HALT Hungry- I find pleasure in cooking and selecting healthy food--- my body seems to absorb this thankfully, I feel energetic and enjoy the cooking process...gives me creative ME time Angry- I'm tired to be angr...
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tortuga
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4
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316
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HP has given me a sense of humor
(Preview)
Hi MIP Family. Here is a small laugh for the day. My partner and I went to Jones Beach today to walk the beach, have lunch and feed the seagulls We purchased a .99 cent package of hot dogs from the Supermarket for the gulls and went to Subways and purchased a $5,00 Foot Long to share. We arrived at the b...
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hotrod
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8
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371
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I am new here
(Preview)
So my significant other was dry for a year with the help of antibuse (which he understood would make him violently ill) he made the decision to go off the meds and try drinking socially again. We have had so much go wrong in our year and a half relationship, a house shooting, a major flood, custody battle...
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Christine
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8
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467
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Don't have to be perfect, right?
(Preview)
So yesterday and today I have experienced minor setbacks with my A. I'm not yelling at myself because I know I am making progress overall. But the setbacks did take me by surprise. Yesterday maybe we didn't communicate well. When I thought she would be coming home was not when she came home. She sa...
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Lyne
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5
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404
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I notice that I am "infected" by ALANON....
(Preview)
Today, Saturday was the last day that the gal at the front desk worked.... We have quite a history...She came to work a year after I...At first it was "ok" then one day we were facebooking , chatting and she is AT WORK...doing this on company times...I was at home...I realized this and told h...
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neshema2
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3
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364
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For the snoopers :)
(Preview)
I'm a huge offender in that area ESPECIALLY when I started making a conscious decision about getting a divorce .. I got my hands on every single piece of paperwork I could get and started filing everything down. In my mind THAT is not snooping that is being proactive and thank goodness I was because he h...
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Pushka
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6
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458
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Progress
(Preview)
Maybe my thinking is off on this, but I find myself no longer caring if working my program makes a difference for somebody else? Although I do want to carry the message, the results of that carrying of it simply doesn't interest me as much as it once did. What's more important to me is whether or not work...
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grateful2be
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6
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446
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saw myself
(Preview)
A new member came to my F2F meeting and I saw myself-scared, not knowing what to expect, not knowing the prayer we say together or the format. I felt relief and gratitude after my first meeting and I hope she did too. A few of us spoke to her afterwards (myself included) and a man gave her the newcomer pa...
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Lyne
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8
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414
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Happy Birthday Jerry F
(Preview)
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Peggy7
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20
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373
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Forgot I'm meant to wait on the shelf until I'm needed :-p
(Preview)
So, I took a deep breath, and adjusted my thinking as best I could. See, before I wrote that last post, I made a little plea to the A- just a little one- I said "I'm really struggling with the isolation and loneliness at the moment, do you think you could make an effort to be friendly and speak nicely to...
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Melly1248
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13
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488
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Service...
(Preview)
"In order to keep it...you have to give it away"...My elder sponsor wedged that one into my head when he started to support my growth toward doing service for the program and others. It was cute to me then until I found out that it was really true. He also told me "If you really want to...
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Jerry F
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7
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324
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another promising day!
(Preview)
I can't believe how things are going in my life these days. I feel the most positive lately. I guess I just am finally in acceptance. It makes a lot of difference if I let go of all the things that prevent from finding serenity. I have noticed how much of the promises have come true this last month especiall...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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245
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HP at work
(Preview)
Yesterday was a tough day for me and I spent most of it praying for guidance and help for my son. Late this morning he called me to tell me that he had good news - his unemployment was finally approved and he received a call about a job he applied for. Then he told me something he thought was strange - yesterd...
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Rose50
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8
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378
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I just seem to draw them too me....
(Preview)
Today, I go to work and the gal at the front desk whom I had to literally "melt down" w/kindness to a witch....well today, I go in and shes LEAVING......gave her notice on Wed...and Sat. is her last day....not even a week.... well I wish her good luck and tell her I hope it works out and I really d...
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neshema2
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14
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512
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MISERY IS A CHOICE
(Preview)
Pick up your tools, read your Al-Anon literature, follow the Steps you have learned, get a sponsor. You have choices, you don't have to be sad and crying, ask for help today. Don't wonder if you are doing the right thing, you are.....Al-Anon is tried and true. Ask yourself what is the alternative? Yike...
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oldergal
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8
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683
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Please forgive me I blew it BIG Time!!!!
(Preview)
I am horribly embarrassed, made a huge mistake. I have NO excuse and accept any hard feelings. ugh This grieving has made me insane. It had to stop. Not sure what made HP bring this but boy did I learn from it. You guys were WONDERFUL. I learned as usual from you all.It all still fits as the guy has really goo...
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Debilyn
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6
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585
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Visit by Ric B. to our neck of the woods...
(Preview)
This proves that Alanon can be anywhere... even in New Zealand. The old public hall in Mataura. He is a humble man. In the afternoon session he talked about official Alanon Stuff. In the evening he appeared as Ric B. and gave us his ESH on the steps. All congratulations to the members who arranged this v...
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DavidG
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2
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297
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OMG did you know other people can do stuff too?
(Preview)
After my dog's rabbit-massacre 2 weeks ago I really didn't know what to say to the neighbours. So, feeling like a coward I sent them some (overly expensive) flowers and a note to say sorry, and I kept my dog inside while the other dogs were out playing and avoided walking him past their house. And all the w...
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Melly1248
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8
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426
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Moon trivia!
(Preview)
Tonite's the Harvest Moon....trivia fact that a lot of people will binge drink on the nite of the full moon... Observe.....
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Bettina
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3
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325
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Feels so bad.. But I did the right thing
(Preview)
First off, it's "AngieP" had to delete my account and lay low a bit.. Got google and found on here posting about "planning to break off contact."
I did end the relationship tonight as promised to myself as a bday gift (a lil early) and wow was it a firework show, I've been feeling s...
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New_Day
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10
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351
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Step One
(Preview)
We are beginning the Steps once again on the Step Work BoardStep 1 and the associated questions have been posted to the Board. Please join us and share your Experience, Strength and Hopehttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55025047/alanon-step-1/
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hotrod
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0
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343
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How do I keep my mouth shut?!
(Preview)
Ok, So I keep going up and down, back and forth between acceptance and pure fury over my situation with my A. Some days I think, OK, I can do this, I can't change him or control him, just let him do his thing and I will do mine. And then a moment later I am back to giving him a lecture on how much he has hurt me, and t...
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faith84
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12
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717
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Powerless
(Preview)
Last Friday I posted in regards to a few vows that I wanted to work on. It is amazing once you FINALLY reach the point of understanding that you really are powerless to their addiction, and that the only thing that can be changed is ourselves and our attitudes. I have been attempting to get to this poin...
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faith84
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4
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344
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What was I thinking.... I wasn't thinking!
(Preview)
I'm not sure how it happened. I visited my coworker at her cubicle today because she's the only left of her team after downsizing. She sits in a big room of empty offices and empty cubicles on the other side of our building alone. She isn't going to leave until they tell her to go and that kinda makes sen...
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tiredtonite
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11
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436
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Victim Vs Being Victimized
(Preview)
Something that has come up in my therapy is the whole I'm a victim mentality Vs being victimized and choosing to take a different route. When I first came to Alanon I definitely felt other people did things to me and looking back I can now see how much power I used to give away on a daily basis. I was able to...
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Pushka
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6
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1065
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I agree about all the posters(not the carboard kind)
(Preview)
Everyone on here has something to add. I appreciate all of you that comment on my posts. I try to put my two cents in every once in a while. I feel compelled to say something even if it is just a short diddy of some kind. I am just being honest & try to be comical once in a while because life can get too seriou...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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300
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Mo`o metaphor...
(Preview)
My new avatar is just for me and a reminder about open perceptions and how the program works in so many many ways. That little Mo`o or lizard is a Madagascar which have become way to numerous in a short period of time on the east shore of Hawaii island and my village of Hilo. My office is a garden and I tend...
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Jerry F
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10
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566
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If alcoholism is a disease...
(Preview)
If alcoholism is categorized as a disease, then why do we say to fully detach from the alcoholic? One wouldn't abandon a family member that had cancer or diabetes. As an example - my son has a dual diagnosis of alcoholism and depression. Both of his sisters have fully detached and feel I should do the s...
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Rose50
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10
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590
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new ways, maybe into change!
(Preview)
yesterday i had a minor panic attack due to loneliness that came over me. I have gotten better though, thanks to lessons learned due to meditation. i now know the feeling and the confidence in the fact that storms do pass. It is hard to sit and wait though. But i am learning to trust. So i went out for a walk i...
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tortuga
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4
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317
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Mean Spirits & How to Deal.....
(Preview)
Hello MIP Family <3 Sorry its been so Long! I have been Sitting Here Pondering yet another Life Gone to Addictions... Yet Trying to Grasp the Ridicule, and Harsh Slur's from the Judgements in his Death! Tho I Grew up with this Man and Haven't Seen him in Prob. 15yrs, I Still Remember the Man he WAS! But...
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Jozie
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6
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573
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A thanks for those who post here regularly
(Preview)
I wonder if you will ever know what a wonderful thing you are doing in sharing your lives. I know that you come here for caring, compassion, an understanding ear and heart, a thumbs up when you are excited or feel you are moving along and a reminder that we all fail and make mistakes and it is a form of growth...
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deacon
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7
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414
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