Hi everyone. I have an issue and would like your ESH today.

For those that have followed my posts, you know that my AH has been up and down, back and forth in recovery. He is now just about a month sober. I am very proud of him. He is going to AA meetings. His actions have changed, he is more open, more honest, more humble. I see him dealing well with daily stresses that used to be excuses to drink. I travel often for work. I just returned from a three day trip and of course was worried what I would encounter when I returned. I wasn't worried like I have been in past, but I will admit the worry was still lurking. Turns out, he survived without me, he stayed sober, took care of the dogs and the house, and even managed to get a haircut. It's his first haircut since the chaos that began last February, when he first went to detox. It is so good to see him looking and sounding healthy. For my part, I'm working my own program, going to my meetings, checking in with my Alanon friends, praying much, and generally feeling good. Taking care of me.

So now that things seem to be on the upswing at home, I realize that alcoholism is following me in other parts of my life. A colleague of mine, whom I respect very much - she is like a mentor to me - was traveling with me on my most recent trip. She has a very high position within my company and is well-respected by many in the company and in the industry as a whole. She is strong and capable, able to make the hard decisions easily, and always looking toward her own and others' future success. She has guided me to the position I am now within my company, and has always been supportive and encouraging. Above all else, she is loyal. I know if I ever need her help in my career, either at our current company, or help in finding a position with another company, she will have my back.

The issue is, as I'm sure you suspected, she drinks and her drinking bothers me. Over the 5 or 6 years I've worked for and with her, I've seen her lose control on business trips at least 3 times. She doesn't drink much in her everyday life, but when she is on the road, she can let loose at dinner, and becomes a different person. She is very attractive and confident, and men just fall all over her. When she is sober, she is able to maintain her professionalism and politely let them know she is a happily married woman. When she has had a few glasses of wine, she just let's all that go and flirts shamelessly with colleagues, vendors, etc. She embarrasses herself and I am embarrassed for her when this happens. I also worry that with recent changes in our company's management, that her bad behavior will be communicated to senior management, and in the end she could lose her job. The company was recently acquired, the culture has changed, and it's easy to see that her actions could have very bad results.

I heard today from another colleague about a drinking incident that happened last night. It sounded very bad, and she may have said things to important colleagues that could have long lasting effects. I didn't witness it myself, so it really isn't my business. I'd like to tell my friend my worries and suggest that she get help, but I know from my own program that I need to stay on my side of the street.

As I think on this, I realize that in the past year my HP has shown me that I am independent woman, able to support myself as a separate person from my AH. It took me awhile to see that I could stand on my own two feet in my personal life, but I've grown a lot. Now I think HP is showing me that I can also take care of myself in my career, and that I don't need to lean so heavily on this woman who has guided me to where I am today. She is a remarkable woman, but she also has her issues. When I started this post I was worried about what would happen to ME if she were disciplined or even fired, but I know that I will just have to take care of myself, with or without her.

Have any of you had a work colleague struggle with alcohol, and if so, how have you dealt with it?