The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, Mattie. I'm glad you are going to the police. I think I'd also contact the Mental Health Agency in your area to see if they have suggestions for you. You probably already know the drill when it comes to not making your schedule predictable, etc. You can file a trespassing order with the police department which isn't going to keep him off your property, but it will give the police the authority to arrest him if he does come on your property. I don't think I'd change my phone # because right now that is the access he thinks he has to you. If you cut that off, he may decide to show up. Having security cameras installed and wired to your computer aren't extremely expensive either. This guy is more than dangerous as I read this. Even if he quits calling, etc., I wouldn't relax. That doesn't mean anything. If there is a way to mark your doors so that you know if somebody has entered your house when you're absent, that could also be a preventative method to employ. As far as a lawyer, I'm not sure how they can help, but maybe Domestic Assault? Even though he isn't a partner to you - this kind of thing happens to abused spouses. They might also have a good idea of what lawyers or resources are available to you? Considering the car cables were cut, the police may take this a lot more seriously than they might have done in relation to your neighbor?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 23rd of September 2013 08:33:04 PM
This is a different kind of encounter with an alcoholic/addict than I'm used to.
To make a long story short, a workman I hired for one small job insists he wants to work for me on big jobs and is refusing to take no for an answer. I quickly saw that some kind of addiction was at work, I don't know if it's alcohol or drugs. He doesn't track when you're talking to him, he behaves erratically, he does bizarre things -- you're familiar with it all, I imagine. So I tried to say "Thanks but no thanks" in a way that wouldn't escalate the situation, but I did say No in no uncertain terms. I went out of town and came back to a barrage of hysterical phone messages (which I have saved), demanding letters, etc. He is furious that I won't hire him, insists I owe him a huge amount of money (which I do not), etc. To top it off, someone sabotaged my car. Cables cut, etc. I can't prove it was him, but of course I highly suspect it.
My next move is to go to the police. But I also want to talk to someone who deals with unbalanced stalkers, so I make the right moves and don't do anything to set him off unnecessarily. I'm contemplating a cease-and-desist letter and/or a restraining order. I am also leaving out a lot of details here. Anyway, what kind of person would be the best for this? I'm thinking a lawyer, but what kind of lawyer? How do I find the best kind of person for this? Will anyone who's been through this or knows the ropes give me some ESH?
Thanks -- I'm definitely going to the police. My last experience with an unbalanced neighbor, though, suggests that our local police may not be the most helpful resource in counseling me what to do next. That's why I'd like to talk to a lawyer or someone who has more time to guide me through the system in figuring out what to do next, rather than just saying "We'll put this report in a file and let us know if anything worse happens."
Mattie do not hesitate on this one Bettina has the short of it and don't hesitate. He sounds delusional and If he sobotaged your vehicle that is an attack. Call the police right away...ask them if you can initiate the restraining order at their station and then file it in civil court. Have the police finger print the car. He feels that he is entitled and he is threatening. Take pictures of the cut cables and stuff and don't add to the finger prints. It is assault with intent. Let us know. ((((hugs)))) XXXs
If you have a male relative who is willing to cover your back...do that too.
If you are looking for information I wouldn't hesitate to go to the local domestic shelter. Explain the situation and they would know who to direct you to in terms of atty they might even be able to give you some tips in how to phrase things to the police. Honestly I have found knowing what to say and how to say it is huge in speaking with atty and police. Please stay safe .. hugs p :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
save his messages, tell the police about your cut wires and get a restraining order.
At least if you have a restraining order the Police can pick him up. They won't do it any other way.
I don't think there is any else out there more qualified then the police.
Good luck!
Hugs, Bettina
I agree and DOCUMENT.....SAVE the messages......Document everything...there are anti stalker laws now, different then old days....since the Teresa Saldana case and there was a case in FLA where a young woman was stalked and her mom got a law passed in her name , it was in the 90's....now there is protection against this in all states, I believe.......document....save.....EVERYTHING.....and keep turning it over to the cops...and yes....restraint order, police report.....YOU BETCHA.....this guy needs to be STOPPED..........SO sorry this happened to you....OMG.....please do what Bettina suggested
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
