Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

I hate Valentines. It was again a day full of his childish behaviour, blaming me for everything possible. Did you know that I am not suppose to put myself first, kids second and then him last? Oh, my bad! Its my fault that we fought a few years ago which resulted in him being removed from the house for almos...

Summersun · Summersun

So happy valentines! My AH and I were supposed to enjoy dinner tonight at home with a movie. I made a dessert he loves etc etc. I knew he may be working late. But now he is really late home and isn't answering his phone. Nice! Anyway I only called him twice and won't try again. And have started dinner myself....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I had a scare. I get a call from my son. He is broke down on the freeway about 10 miles from me. What in this world is he doing down near me. I was mad. I went and got him off the freeway and got him and his car to my house. It comes down to he didn't put antifreeze OR water in it and it overheated. He lied to his f...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

For those of you following the sad saga of my AH (I was doing really good w/ detaching and had told him to stay away from home until he knew what to do with his life) They released him from the hospital and sent him home in a cab but gave him a dose of Xanax for good measure. He drove around the block and cra...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Yesterday I celebrated not only Valentine's day but my dad's birthday. He died in 2011. Anyhow, I started to cry a couple of times but I didn't break down. I was able to share a dessert w/ the people at the meeting in my dad's honor & was able to share where I was at at the meeting as well. That is all I have...

Kent · Kent

Hello all. I am not a frequent visitor to this board although I have posted here before, and I have found it to be a very warm and helpful environment. My wife and I have been having a very hard time in our marriage for almost a year now. I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with almost 4 years of sobriety, and...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everyone, sending love and hugs out to you all today...and yesterday. ABF is getting worse every time, doing less and less. I understand what is going on but I admit it still smarts a little. In the past several months I've become very familiar with the phrase "going to the hardware store to...

messedupgirl · messedupgirl

I said i was going to share my story, it's not an easy one to share, but the reason I am so messedup , perfect handle name for me ... been married 18 years, "A" drinks and was a drinker when we met, .. i was concern and voiced it in the wrong way, told him if he did not control his drinking he would end u...

John · John

I have read a lot of post this morning regarding Valentines Day... everything from well wishes, to feelings of loneliness. I remember the first Valentines day card I got in school. I was in the second grade. She put it on my desk. And I immediately fell in love with her! LOL Then I discovered she gave...

Grace7 · Grace7

From the Al Anon Bookmark (My Favorite thing...I read daily!) Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today I will be happy. This assume...

Miamamamia · Miamamamia

It is obvious that my sister in law is losing herself to alcohol, when is it time to butt out ? When is it time to say something, do something, as it stands looks like friends and family have made calls to her doctor informing him of her state of mind, wanting to kill herself, the drinking , the use of illega...

lsng · lsng

What a great read! I feel a little less powerless, or, I recognize that I am not the only one who is powerless, and that makes me feel a little less powerless. I dont have to check up on her. I dont have to 'convince' her she abuses alcohol I can have compassion for her. I have to get myself better. As I've sa...

Grace7 · Grace7

It's that time again folks. High and low tide of the mind. (Quick A & P for those not familiar. Our bodies are roughly 90% water. The moon regulates and controls the tides of the ocean....impressive.) Now, just what kind of pulling does this have to do with our white and gray matter (our brains...

4kidsmama · 4kidsmama

After 30 years of drinking, my AH has been sober for a little over a year, with two minor set backs that I know of. I've been with him for six years and have been through hell and back. I've learned the hard way, through disappointment and heartache, not to believe most of what this man says. Wether it was th...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I had a bad night, lost control of myself...felt better the next morning. I ended up having an awesome day. This may not sound like fun but I got my guest bedroom back in order cleaning out the closet and straightening up my crafts. I got some tools and albeit unsuccessfully tried to fix a closet door. Cle...

mongowal · mongowal

My STBEX AH (we haven't even started the divorce process yet) got busted this weekend by my niece with another woman in another city. She took a picture and sends it to me. He spends no more than a couple hours with my daughter a week, but takes another woman to another town to wine and dine her and party....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Happy Valentines Day my wonderful MIP family You are all my special valentine today and I love you so much. You bring me love, strength and the courage to continue to move forward and be happy.

jillybean1 · jillybean1

My AH is being released from the hospital on Valentine's Day, I told him his bags and stuff would be in his car and to leave. (How is that for timing?) UGH well, I don't know how it will go over, he has vowed not to go easily. I have posted a link to one of my favorite music videos, I hope you enjoy. http...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/valentines-day/bright-and-happy-valentine/pn/3278700

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

This holiday has always been a disappointment in my relationship with my AH. Back when we were first dating, he bought me beautiful amythest earrings. We were both drunk, wandering through the jewelry store, acting stupid, until the sales clerk asked, 'Are you buying something or what?' So he bough...

hopes314 · hopes314

Who am I who stays with someone that can't give give love back. Who is nasty, mean, and argues with me. If i am the only one who is responsible I must think i do not deserve someone kind and loving. He is plowing the driveway at 7am because he has to get his alcohol. There is no love for valentines. I am bea...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Pointless vent. Sorry

-- Edited by Melly1248 on Wednesday 12th of February 2014 12:58:00 PM

Miamamamia · Miamamamia

Why is it that we are responsible for our own choices and can only control ourselves , when the choices we make are often base on the actions of our A or others in our lives ? The choices I have to make I would not have to make them if the people in my life would not be such *&^*^*( !!!!!! I should be the one d...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

HI I'm home and thinking today...... maybe thinking too much LOL I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but in my simple world I do my hardest to try and change me. When I first came to Al-anon I thought I had to be so strong that nothing would faze me after a while. Boy was I wrong. I don't care who you ar...

ladee · ladee

I am new to alanon, but not new to 12 steps.. I am a recovering A with 29 years sober....my son,43, is the practicing A.... I finally, finally finally, after much hard work have gone no contact with him.... He has no reason to believe I meant it this time, as we have been here before....but this time the sur...

Miamamamia · Miamamamia

As I go through my journey, I find myself searching , reading, learning , today I came across this poem , and thought it would be okay to share it here with everyone ,,, the author is unknown if anyone knows who that would be great !! Letting go To let go doesn't mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have some big decisions to make and I have received an offer from his atty .. so we will see what is what as far as things go. I have a meeting with my new replacement atty next week and I just want to be settled and KNOW what it is that I want and so on. His offer is making me feel that he is smacking of desperat...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I use to say that all the time what about me I deserve to be happy why can't I find some one to follow me and pick up my pity. Well I don't no how I wake up every day and only think about the day I'm living . I rather be a day behind then a day ahead wonder what is tomorrow going to be like . My saying would be if some on...

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

My goodness! I told my AH that I was going back to Al-Anon meetings. I realize of course that I didnt have to tell him, however the day that the meetings happen is also the day my kids take part in an afterschool program, and basically I would have enough time to drop them off at home then off to the meeting. T...

Gaby · Gaby

Just when I thought my son was doing ok again here he goes again. Sure he feels bad as the other many times prior. I have gotten involved with so many people and attended many other meetings. But why do I allow his addiction consume my life. I can not get a grip on this thing call tough love and take care of me....

NavySealWife · NavySealWife

My husband has been sober for almost two years until Jan 30, he went missing for two days and not came home, or call because he was drinking at another guys house who also is a AA. The wife of his AA buddy does not care if her husband drinks every day and enables him and drives her husband around when he is drun...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey MIP My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, and seeing what those around me had and were capable of, I grew up with some very unrealistic expectations of myself and my limitations. I grew up in a home where I simply didn't have the resources or the in...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Tuesday night when I came home from my Al Anon meeting I found my husband passed out on the bathroom floor. I left him there. Tonight, when I got home, we actually did end up having 'the talk'. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I told him flat out that he was losing me. I told him that, while I couldn't...

lsng · lsng

I have come to realize that I have made my wife my higher power'. This has been an ongoing revelation, but it all sort of came together last night... Been keeping a journal of my thoughts 26 years (holy crap!! that long??!). I was reading through them last night, and its pretty clear I have a pattern of bei...

lsng · lsng

If I suspect drinking, do I say something? For example, while talking to my W on the phone tonight, I suspected she might have been buzzed at least. Since Ive already made it clear that I think she abuses alcohol and needs to stop, do I say something? If only to let her know that *I* know? What about when we...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Long story...well not short exactly... AH slowed his drinking down...we were happier...for some reason we decided to get a dog. Awesome awesome puppy, but she still changes the dynamic and the routine and created an enourmous amount of stress for him. Besides regular puppy stuff, we just redid our...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is driving me crazy!!! My family is visiting and we stopped at a tea shop last night to check things out and my stepfather decided to order some tea so we sat at a table to drink a pot. My mother pulls out a food bar and eats it while we sit there. My AH leans over and says(in a not very nice way), "Y...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Today I was cleaning the fish tank and thinking why am I cleaning the stupid fish tank? Let me backup, last spring I went to a carnival. I played the game where you toss ping pong balls and try to sink the ball into a glass to win a fish. I won 3 goldfish. We didn't have a fish tank and I had no clue how to care for...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, the saga continues, I went to a funeral today for a friend, came home, asked my AH if he would like me to heat up some lunch for the both of us, he says no thanks, I ate already-- hands me a half empty bottle of prescription drugs. (on top of the only God knows how much wine he drank already). Says sin...

el-cee · el-cee

This family disease of ours has upped a gear, it has escalated until I am once again living with and in chaos and despair. I feel sorry for myself, why do I have to live this all over again, its never actually left my life, this god dam illness. My son who, it is becoming more and more apparent, has been stayi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I hadn't planned on doing anything tonight, but AH is acting...weird. Didn't got to work, laying in bed all day, throwing himself a pity party. Whatever. Gotta take care of me, getting out of the house sounds good, and there's a newcomer meeting tonight. Sounds like it's all lined up just right. ...

david62 · david62

Howdy yall, I heard this on the radio this morning. It is an old song I have heard many times..but like many songs, I don't pay too much attention the meaning of the lyrics. I listened and just had to laugh. This was most definitely my theme song 10 years ago prior to my coming to Al-Anon. David Ball : Thinki...

hopes314 · hopes314

I am going to a lawyer. All this is so scary. I don't want this to be my life but it is too much. What is so hard is that I am hanging onto the person he used to be who was sweet loving kind? I truly love this person. I don't want to divorce but it is so unheathly for me on many levels. My kids do not deserve this at al...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

tonight i went and had a visit with someone i very much respect who walks a very spiritual path .. my daughter is 10. i normally don't ask advice .. i do really know noone can give me any, except she has no idea her dad ever had any sort of addiction to drugs and she has no idea he's back in prison and doing time ....

Living508 · Living508

I really need some insight & words of wisdom. I am pregnant & highly emotional at the moment over this issue! This problem is not directly related to my qualifier (my father). Since i have known my husband he has given money to his mother who is a current smoker & has had a history of gambeli...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, the past couple of weeks I've come to accept that I'm married to an alcoholic, that I'm basically alone in this marriage, that he's going to do whatever the alcohol tells him, and I need to take care of my own needs. At first, I was devastated. Crying and sobbing, basically mourning what I've lost,...

siminotes · siminotes

Good morning.......I have a few years of Anon recovery and have been reading-luking and wow its awesome here.. the person that brought me here is a daughter and the reason I am here is for me. I am at the stage of life that my parents need help(dementia) and TLC..and I cannot do the TLC without help for me...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. TOPICS: Love, Hope Expectations The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...

oldergal · oldergal

Please when looking into getting help with a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, make sure they are educated, have experience with "alcoholism", it is not going to do anybody any good if you see someone, and they give you or your alcoholic a prescription for drugs and the...

oldergal · oldergal

"I Shall Look At The World Through Tears. Perhaps I Shall See Things That, Dry-Eyed, I Could Not See".---Nicholas Wolterstorff.There comes a time in life,when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, a...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

After this past week and weekend, and making a few connections, I've decided to start doing simple things that I'd stopped expecting him to pick up the slack and getting mad when he didn't (because that makes sense!). I have come to accept that I'm pretty much on my own. Besides his injury, his depres...

hopes314 · hopes314

I am so very happy that I found this web site. When I just don't know what to do with the anger, restlessness, irritability, and craziness, I can come here and get the alnon tools to maintain my serenity. The moreI can keep myself in this program the better I feel. Thanks so much for the replies to my mess...

Dia and 5 · Dia and 5

I have been dealing with my AH for 2 years now. I am not sure if it was longer, I was in denial for a long time before I could see at least a 2 year mark. Sometimes I feel strong and I can get through it and sometimes I feel like what is the point of this life with him. Why am I enduring this grief and loneliness. The...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am so angry, hurt and feel down right stupid. As some of you may know I let my 5 year old go live an hour and a half away with her dad, because her Kindergarten teacher and she were butting heads and she was coming home crying more days then not and it just seemed to be a very bad emotional start to her educati...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is retired. He has been an alcoholic all of his life. We have been married 10 years. I did not know he was an alcoholic when I married him otherwise I wouldn't have. It was one of these whirlwind relationships that was totally wrong on so many levels. I stay wit...

clanqc · clanqc

We have been snowed in for 5 days. She has been with us, trying to act right, but when we start asking questions about what is going to do, she puts her hands to her ears. She cannot tak about it. She lost temp custody of her 3 year old to daughters psychopathic daddy, 2 hours away. How? She admitted to t...

lsng · lsng

I dont enjoy alcohol much, beyond the occasional beer. But... My wife does. When we met, she rarely drank, which I considered a plus. 5 years on...She drinks every night. Sometimes just one glass of wine/beer, sometimes a few. Sometimes she seems totally sober to me, and oftentimes, she's buzz...

Summersun · Summersun

Hi this is my first time posting on a forum so I hope it's ok to just to ask a question. So I have been married for 9 years and I have an 18 month old. When I met my husband he was in recovery having been in rehab for alcohol abuse. He was sober for around 18 months and then started to drink again. His therapist tho...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I've been doing OK...living my life. Work has been very busy and my duties have changed somewhat but I still have a job. 4 more years and I can retire....yeppee!! Home life is better too and I'm grateful for that. My SO has been very good but still doesn't help much but that I can't contro...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Tradition Five helps me to set three goals to work the steps for myself; to have compassion for alcoholics; and to have compassion for those who come to Alanon. What strikes me is the amount of love to be found in these three goals. First, I love myself enough to try to heal and grow by working the Twelve St...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	again with the drama (Preview) I hate Valentines. It was again a day full of his childish behaviour, blaming me for everything possible. Did you know that I am not suppose to put myself first, kids second and then him last? Oh, my bad! Its my fault that we fought a few years ago which resulted in him being removed from the house for almos...	jen_nipher	4	344	Feb 15, 2014 by messedupgirl
	Not sure how to behave.... (Preview) So happy valentines! My AH and I were supposed to enjoy dinner tonight at home with a movie. I made a dessert he loves etc etc. I knew he may be working late. But now he is really late home and isn't answering his phone. Nice! Anyway I only called him twice and won't try again. And have started dinner myself....	Summersun	8	582	Feb 15, 2014 by NavySealWife
	He will never learn (Preview) I had a scare. I get a call from my son. He is broke down on the freeway about 10 miles from me. What in this world is he doing down near me. I was mad. I went and got him off the freeway and got him and his car to my house. It comes down to he didn't put antifreeze OR water in it and it overheated. He lied to his f...	Cathyinaz	11	628	Feb 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	I am freaking out (Preview) For those of you following the sad saga of my AH (I was doing really good w/ detaching and had told him to stay away from home until he knew what to do with his life) They released him from the hospital and sent him home in a cab but gave him a dose of Xanax for good measure. He drove around the block and cra...	jillybean1	12	609	Feb 15, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	celebrating & grieving at the same time... (Preview) Yesterday I celebrated not only Valentine's day but my dad's birthday. He died in 2011. Anyhow, I started to cry a couple of times but I didn't break down. I was able to share a dessert w/ the people at the meeting in my dad's honor & was able to share where I was at at the meeting as well. That is all I have...	Hoot Nanny	2	325	Feb 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	At a total loss (Preview) Hello all. I am not a frequent visitor to this board although I have posted here before, and I have found it to be a very warm and helpful environment. My wife and I have been having a very hard time in our marriage for almost a year now. I am a recovering alcoholic in AA with almost 4 years of sobriety, and...	Kent	4	497	Feb 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	Late but Sincere....I love you!! (Preview) Hello everyone, sending love and hugs out to you all today...and yesterday. ABF is getting worse every time, doing less and less. I understand what is going on but I admit it still smarts a little. In the past several months I've become very familiar with the phrase "going to the hardware store to...	Raven Juniper	9	499	Feb 15, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Am i the only one like this ... (Preview) I said i was going to share my story, it's not an easy one to share, but the reason I am so messedup , perfect handle name for me ... been married 18 years, "A" drinks and was a drinker when we met, .. i was concern and voiced it in the wrong way, told him if he did not control his drinking he would end u...	messedupgirl	5	808	Feb 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	Valentines Day... memories pressed between the pages of my mind... (Preview) I have read a lot of post this morning regarding Valentines Day... everything from well wishes, to feelings of loneliness. I remember the first Valentines day card I got in school. I was in the second grade. She put it on my desk. And I immediately fell in love with her! LOL Then I discovered she gave...	John	8	529	Feb 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	"Just For Today" (Preview) From the Al Anon Bookmark (My Favorite thing...I read daily!) Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today I will be happy. This assume...	Grace7	2	267	Feb 15, 2014 by hopes314
	when do you intervene ? (Preview) It is obvious that my sister in law is losing herself to alcohol, when is it time to butt out ? When is it time to say something, do something, as it stands looks like friends and family have made calls to her doctor informing him of her state of mind, wanting to kill herself, the drinking , the use of illega...	Miamamamia	5	488	Feb 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Read "Getting them Sober" last night. Thanks for the recommendation (Preview) What a great read! I feel a little less powerless, or, I recognize that I am not the only one who is powerless, and that makes me feel a little less powerless. I dont have to check up on her. I dont have to 'convince' her she abuses alcohol I can have compassion for her. I have to get myself better. As I've sa...	lsng	8	620	Feb 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Full Moon Alert (Preview) It's that time again folks. High and low tide of the mind. (Quick A & P for those not familiar. Our bodies are roughly 90% water. The moon regulates and controls the tides of the ocean....impressive.) Now, just what kind of pulling does this have to do with our white and gray matter (our brains...	Grace7	2	328	Feb 15, 2014 by hopes314
	How to believe in him again (Preview) After 30 years of drinking, my AH has been sober for a little over a year, with two minor set backs that I know of. I've been with him for six years and have been through hell and back. I've learned the hard way, through disappointment and heartache, not to believe most of what this man says. Wether it was th...	4kidsmama	4	483	Feb 15, 2014 by Grace7
	Thank you all for your serenity (Preview) I had a bad night, lost control of myself...felt better the next morning. I ended up having an awesome day. This may not sound like fun but I got my guest bedroom back in order cleaning out the closet and straightening up my crafts. I got some tools and albeit unsuccessfully tried to fix a closet door. Cle...	sadsusie	3	439	Feb 15, 2014 by hopes314
	Full of Insecurities Today (Preview) My STBEX AH (we haven't even started the divorce process yet) got busted this weekend by my niece with another woman in another city. She took a picture and sends it to me. He spends no more than a couple hours with my daughter a week, but takes another woman to another town to wine and dine her and party....	mongowal	3	432	Feb 15, 2014 by hopes314
	Be My Valentine (Preview) Happy Valentines Day my wonderful MIP family You are all my special valentine today and I love you so much. You bring me love, strength and the courage to continue to move forward and be happy.	Cathyinaz	7	426	Feb 14, 2014 by MorningGlory
	Valentine's Day (Preview) My AH is being released from the hospital on Valentine's Day, I told him his bags and stuff would be in his car and to leave. (How is that for timing?) UGH well, I don't know how it will go over, he has vowed not to go easily. I have posted a link to one of my favorite music videos, I hope you enjoy. http...	jillybean1	4	325	Feb 14, 2014 by Miamamamia
	Happy Valentines Day! May you Love You! (Preview) http://www.americangreetings.com/ecards/valentines-day/bright-and-happy-valentine/pn/3278700	Tricia911	2	401	Feb 14, 2014 by hopes314
	Valentines Day (Preview) This holiday has always been a disappointment in my relationship with my AH. Back when we were first dating, he bought me beautiful amythest earrings. We were both drunk, wandering through the jewelry store, acting stupid, until the sales clerk asked, 'Are you buying something or what?' So he bough...	ParisMemories	8	443	Feb 14, 2014 by ParisMemories
	Who am I (Preview) Who am I who stays with someone that can't give give love back. Who is nasty, mean, and argues with me. If i am the only one who is responsible I must think i do not deserve someone kind and loving. He is plowing the driveway at 7am because he has to get his alcohol. There is no love for valentines. I am bea...	hopes314	4	423	Feb 14, 2014 by ilovedogs
	Icky days (Preview) Pointless vent. Sorry -- Edited by Melly1248 on Wednesday 12th of February 2014 12:58:00 PM	Melly1248	6	293	Feb 14, 2014 by Melly1248
	Why me Lord ??? What did I ever do .... (Preview) Why is it that we are responsible for our own choices and can only control ourselves , when the choices we make are often base on the actions of our A or others in our lives ? The choices I have to make I would not have to make them if the people in my life would not be such &^^( !!!!!! I should be the one d...*	Miamamamia	7	711	Feb 14, 2014 by sadsusie
	Thinking about me (Preview) HI I'm home and thinking today...... maybe thinking too much LOL I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but in my simple world I do my hardest to try and change me. When I first came to Al-anon I thought I had to be so strong that nothing would faze me after a while. Boy was I wrong. I don't care who you ar...	Cathyinaz	8	447	Feb 14, 2014 by AngelicH57
	the anger and frustration is starting... from him (Preview) I am new to alanon, but not new to 12 steps.. I am a recovering A with 29 years sober....my son,43, is the practicing A.... I finally, finally finally, after much hard work have gone no contact with him.... He has no reason to believe I meant it this time, as we have been here before....but this time the sur...	ladee	4	367	Feb 14, 2014 by ladee
	just sharing (Preview) As I go through my journey, I find myself searching , reading, learning , today I came across this poem , and thought it would be okay to share it here with everyone ,,, the author is unknown if anyone knows who that would be great !! *Letting go* *To let go doesn't mean to stop caring;* *It means I can't do it for...*	Miamamamia	4	273	Feb 14, 2014 by Lgar332
	Need some BIG prayers please .. (Preview) I have some big decisions to make and I have received an offer from his atty .. so we will see what is what as far as things go. I have a meeting with my new replacement atty next week and I just want to be settled and KNOW what it is that I want and so on. His offer is making me feel that he is smacking of desperat...	SerenityRUS	8	350	Feb 14, 2014 by milkwood
	What about ME ! (Preview) I use to say that all the time what about me I deserve to be happy why can't I find some one to follow me and pick up my pity. Well I don't no how I wake up every day and only think about the day I'm living . I rather be a day behind then a day ahead wonder what is tomorrow going to be like . My saying would be if some on...	Wisdom67	3	415	Feb 14, 2014 by milkwood
	Overreaction (Preview) My goodness! I told my AH that I was going back to Al-Anon meetings. I realize of course that I didnt have to tell him, however the day that the meetings happen is also the day my kids take part in an afterschool program, and basically I would have enough time to drop them off at home then off to the meeting. T...	jen_nipher	5	441	Feb 14, 2014 by milkwood
	The calm before the storm. (Preview) Just when I thought my son was doing ok again here he goes again. Sure he feels bad as the other many times prior. I have gotten involved with so many people and attended many other meetings. But why do I allow his addiction consume my life. I can not get a grip on this thing call tough love and take care of me....	Gaby	3	376	Feb 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	My husband has relapse for the last three weeks (Preview) My husband has been sober for almost two years until Jan 30, he went missing for two days and not came home, or call because he was drinking at another guys house who also is a AA. The wife of his AA buddy does not care if her husband drinks every day and enables him and drives her husband around when he is drun...	NavySealWife	4	451	Feb 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Unrealistic expectations as an adult child. (Preview) Hey MIP My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, and seeing what those around me had and were capable of, I grew up with some very unrealistic expectations of myself and my limitations. I grew up in a home where I simply didn't have the resources or the in...	slogan_jim	7	582	Feb 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Oh, wait, we are actually going to talk about this. (Preview) Tuesday night when I came home from my Al Anon meeting I found my husband passed out on the bathroom floor. I left him there. Tonight, when I got home, we actually did end up having 'the talk'. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I told him flat out that he was losing me. I told him that, while I couldn't...	SpiderArcana	8	526	Feb 13, 2014 by 4kidsmama
	Making someone else my higher power? (Preview) I have come to realize that I have made my wife my higher power'. This has been an ongoing revelation, but it all sort of came together last night... Been keeping a journal of my thoughts 26 years (holy crap!! that long??!). I was reading through them last night, and its pretty clear I have a pattern of bei...	lsng	14	611	Feb 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Do I say something if I think she's drinking and I've already stated in the past I think she abuses alcohol? (Preview) If I suspect drinking, do I say something? For example, while talking to my W on the phone tonight, I suspected she might have been buzzed at least. Since Ive already made it clear that I think she abuses alcohol and needs to stop, do I say something? If only to let her know that I know? What about when we...	lsng	7	587	Feb 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I am still contributing to the dysfunction, and I only have myself to blame...but not really (Preview) Long story...well not short exactly... AH slowed his drinking down...we were happier...for some reason we decided to get a dog. Awesome awesome puppy, but she still changes the dynamic and the routine and created an enourmous amount of stress for him. Besides regular puppy stuff, we just redid our...	sadsusie	7	471	Feb 13, 2014 by ParisMemories
	I just need a place to vent! (Preview) My AH is driving me crazy!!! My family is visiting and we stopped at a tea shop last night to check things out and my stepfather decided to order some tea so we sat at a table to drink a pot. My mother pulls out a food bar and eats it while we sit there. My AH leans over and says(in a not very nice way), "Y...	ilovedogs	12	452	Feb 13, 2014 by ilovedogs
	Outcome Engineer (Preview) Today I was cleaning the fish tank and thinking why am I cleaning the stupid fish tank? Let me backup, last spring I went to a carnival. I played the game where you toss ping pong balls and try to sink the ball into a glass to win a fish. I won 3 goldfish. We didn't have a fish tank and I had no clue how to care for...	MorningGlory	10	662	Feb 13, 2014 by Melly1248
	Just back from the E.R. (Preview) Well, the saga continues, I went to a funeral today for a friend, came home, asked my AH if he would like me to heat up some lunch for the both of us, he says no thanks, I ate already-- hands me a half empty bottle of prescription drugs. (on top of the only God knows how much wine he drank already). Says sin...	jillybean1	10	478	Feb 13, 2014 by Mari1978
	Escalation (Preview) This family disease of ours has upped a gear, it has escalated until I am once again living with and in chaos and despair. I feel sorry for myself, why do I have to live this all over again, its never actually left my life, this god dam illness. My son who, it is becoming more and more apparent, has been stayi...	el-cee	16	457	Feb 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	First meeting tonight (Preview) I hadn't planned on doing anything tonight, but AH is acting...weird. Didn't got to work, laying in bed all day, throwing himself a pity party. Whatever. Gotta take care of me, getting out of the house sounds good, and there's a newcomer meeting tonight. Sounds like it's all lined up just right. ...	SpiderArcana	9	343	Feb 12, 2014 by Little Bird
	Thinkin' Problem (Preview) Howdy yall, I heard this on the radio this morning. It is an old song I have heard many times..but like many songs, I don't pay too much attention the meaning of the lyrics. I listened and just had to laugh. This was most definitely my theme song 10 years ago prior to my coming to Al-Anon. David Ball : Thinki...	david62	2	287	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	Feeling The lost (Preview) I am going to a lawyer. All this is so scary. I don't want this to be my life but it is too much. What is so hard is that I am hanging onto the person he used to be who was sweet loving kind? I truly love this person. I don't want to divorce but it is so unheathly for me on many levels. My kids do not deserve this at al...	hopes314	6	376	Feb 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	if anyone has experience in this .. i might have asked this once before .. (Preview) tonight i went and had a visit with someone i very much respect who walks a very spiritual path .. my daughter is 10. i normally don't ask advice .. i do really know noone can give me any, except she has no idea her dad ever had any sort of addiction to drugs and she has no idea he's back in prison and doing time ....	MeTwo2	12	423	Feb 12, 2014 by abbyal
	Please help!!! (Preview) I really need some insight & words of wisdom. I am pregnant & highly emotional at the moment over this issue! This problem is not directly related to my qualifier (my father). Since i have known my husband he has given money to his mother who is a current smoker & has had a history of gambeli...	Living508	11	444	Feb 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Acceptance (Preview) So, the past couple of weeks I've come to accept that I'm married to an alcoholic, that I'm basically alone in this marriage, that he's going to do whatever the alcohol tells him, and I need to take care of my own needs. At first, I was devastated. Crying and sobbing, basically mourning what I've lost,...	SpiderArcana	5	463	Feb 12, 2014 by Tracy
	new to MIP (Preview) Good morning.......I have a few years of Anon recovery and have been reading-luking and wow its awesome here.. the person that brought me here is a daughter and the reason I am here is for me. I am at the stage of life that my parents need help(dementia) and TLC..and I cannot do the TLC without help for me...	siminotes	7	379	Feb 12, 2014 by siminotes
	WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. (Preview) WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. TOPICS: Love, Hope Expectations The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...	shimo	0	193	Feb 12, 2014 by shimo
	The Right Shrink (Preview) Please when looking into getting help with a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, make sure they are educated, have experience with "alcoholism", it is not going to do anybody any good if you see someone, and they give you or your alcoholic a prescription for drugs and the...	oldergal	5	305	Feb 12, 2014 by pinkchip
	There Comes A Time in Life.... (Preview) "I Shall Look At The World Through Tears. Perhaps I Shall See Things That, Dry-Eyed, I Could Not See".---Nicholas Wolterstorff.There comes a time in life,when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, a...	oldergal	5	593	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	Doing for me (Preview) After this past week and weekend, and making a few connections, I've decided to start doing simple things that I'd stopped expecting him to pick up the slack and getting mad when he didn't (because that makes sense!). I have come to accept that I'm pretty much on my own. Besides his injury, his depres...	SpiderArcana	13	571	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	A safe place to be (Preview) I am so very happy that I found this web site. When I just don't know what to do with the anger, restlessness, irritability, and craziness, I can come here and get the alnon tools to maintain my serenity. The moreI can keep myself in this program the better I feel. Thanks so much for the replies to my mess...	hopes314	5	395	Feb 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	New, Dealing with AH he makes me feel so crazy (Preview) I have been dealing with my AH for 2 years now. I am not sure if it was longer, I was in denial for a long time before I could see at least a 2 year mark. Sometimes I feel strong and I can get through it and sometimes I feel like what is the point of this life with him. Why am I enduring this grief and loneliness. The...	Dia and 5	7	506	Feb 11, 2014 by Dia and 5
	Let down again by the exAH yeah big surprise...... (Preview) I am so angry, hurt and feel down right stupid. As some of you may know I let my 5 year old go live an hour and a half away with her dad, because her Kindergarten teacher and she were butting heads and she was coming home crying more days then not and it just seemed to be a very bad emotional start to her educati...	Breakingfree	10	489	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Noticing things with alcoholic husband (Preview) My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is retired. He has been an alcoholic all of his life. We have been married 10 years. I did not know he was an alcoholic when I married him otherwise I wouldn't have. It was one of these whirlwind relationships that was totally wrong on so many levels. I stay wit...	willieisawestie	8	564	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Seeking suggestions for husband and wife to agree on boundaries for 37 year old adult semi functioning daughter (Preview) We have been snowed in for 5 days. She has been with us, trying to act right, but when we start asking questions about what is going to do, she puts her hands to her ears. She cannot tak about it. She lost temp custody of her 3 year old to daughters psychopathic daddy, 2 hours away. How? She admitted to t...	clanqc	4	526	Feb 11, 2014 by clanqc
	Does she have a drinking problem? (Preview) I dont enjoy alcohol much, beyond the occasional beer. But... My wife does. When we met, she rarely drank, which I considered a plus. 5 years on...She drinks every night. Sometimes just one glass of wine/beer, sometimes a few. Sometimes she seems totally sober to me, and oftentimes, she's buzz...	lsng	14	807	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Not sure what to do about my husbands drinking. (Preview) Hi this is my first time posting on a forum so I hope it's ok to just to ask a question. So I have been married for 9 years and I have an 18 month old. When I met my husband he was in recovery having been in rehab for alcohol abuse. He was sober for around 18 months and then started to drink again. His therapist tho...	Summersun	10	537	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Good Morning (Preview) Hi Everyone I've been doing OK...living my life. Work has been very busy and my duties have changed somewhat but I still have a job. 4 more years and I can retire....yeppee!! Home life is better too and I'm grateful for that. My SO has been very good but still doesn't help much but that I can't contro...	Cathyinaz	4	401	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Courage to change reading Pg 42.. Feb 11 .. (Preview) Tradition Five helps me to set three goals to work the steps for myself; to have compassion for alcoholics; and to have compassion for those who come to Alanon. What strikes me is the amount of love to be found in these three goals. First, I love myself enough to try to heal and grow by working the Twelve St...	MeTwo2	2	997	Feb 11, 2014 by Green Eyes
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.