Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey MIP My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, and seeing what those around me had and were capable of, I grew up with some very unrealistic expectations of myself and my limitations. I grew up in a home where I simply didn't have the resources or the in...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Tuesday night when I came home from my Al Anon meeting I found my husband passed out on the bathroom floor. I left him there. Tonight, when I got home, we actually did end up having 'the talk'. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I told him flat out that he was losing me. I told him that, while I couldn't...

lsng · lsng

I have come to realize that I have made my wife my higher power'. This has been an ongoing revelation, but it all sort of came together last night... Been keeping a journal of my thoughts 26 years (holy crap!! that long??!). I was reading through them last night, and its pretty clear I have a pattern of bei...

lsng · lsng

If I suspect drinking, do I say something? For example, while talking to my W on the phone tonight, I suspected she might have been buzzed at least. Since Ive already made it clear that I think she abuses alcohol and needs to stop, do I say something? If only to let her know that *I* know? What about when we...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Long story...well not short exactly... AH slowed his drinking down...we were happier...for some reason we decided to get a dog. Awesome awesome puppy, but she still changes the dynamic and the routine and created an enourmous amount of stress for him. Besides regular puppy stuff, we just redid our...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH is driving me crazy!!! My family is visiting and we stopped at a tea shop last night to check things out and my stepfather decided to order some tea so we sat at a table to drink a pot. My mother pulls out a food bar and eats it while we sit there. My AH leans over and says(in a not very nice way), "Y...

MorningGlory · MorningGlory

Today I was cleaning the fish tank and thinking why am I cleaning the stupid fish tank? Let me backup, last spring I went to a carnival. I played the game where you toss ping pong balls and try to sink the ball into a glass to win a fish. I won 3 goldfish. We didn't have a fish tank and I had no clue how to care for...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well, the saga continues, I went to a funeral today for a friend, came home, asked my AH if he would like me to heat up some lunch for the both of us, he says no thanks, I ate already-- hands me a half empty bottle of prescription drugs. (on top of the only God knows how much wine he drank already). Says sin...

el-cee · el-cee

This family disease of ours has upped a gear, it has escalated until I am once again living with and in chaos and despair. I feel sorry for myself, why do I have to live this all over again, its never actually left my life, this god dam illness. My son who, it is becoming more and more apparent, has been stayi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I hadn't planned on doing anything tonight, but AH is acting...weird. Didn't got to work, laying in bed all day, throwing himself a pity party. Whatever. Gotta take care of me, getting out of the house sounds good, and there's a newcomer meeting tonight. Sounds like it's all lined up just right. ...

david62 · david62

Howdy yall, I heard this on the radio this morning. It is an old song I have heard many times..but like many songs, I don't pay too much attention the meaning of the lyrics. I listened and just had to laugh. This was most definitely my theme song 10 years ago prior to my coming to Al-Anon. David Ball : Thinki...

hopes314 · hopes314

I am going to a lawyer. All this is so scary. I don't want this to be my life but it is too much. What is so hard is that I am hanging onto the person he used to be who was sweet loving kind? I truly love this person. I don't want to divorce but it is so unheathly for me on many levels. My kids do not deserve this at al...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

tonight i went and had a visit with someone i very much respect who walks a very spiritual path .. my daughter is 10. i normally don't ask advice .. i do really know noone can give me any, except she has no idea her dad ever had any sort of addiction to drugs and she has no idea he's back in prison and doing time ....

Living508 · Living508

I really need some insight & words of wisdom. I am pregnant & highly emotional at the moment over this issue! This problem is not directly related to my qualifier (my father). Since i have known my husband he has given money to his mother who is a current smoker & has had a history of gambeli...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, the past couple of weeks I've come to accept that I'm married to an alcoholic, that I'm basically alone in this marriage, that he's going to do whatever the alcohol tells him, and I need to take care of my own needs. At first, I was devastated. Crying and sobbing, basically mourning what I've lost,...

siminotes · siminotes

Good morning.......I have a few years of Anon recovery and have been reading-luking and wow its awesome here.. the person that brought me here is a daughter and the reason I am here is for me. I am at the stage of life that my parents need help(dementia) and TLC..and I cannot do the TLC without help for me...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. TOPICS: Love, Hope Expectations The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...

oldergal · oldergal

Please when looking into getting help with a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, make sure they are educated, have experience with "alcoholism", it is not going to do anybody any good if you see someone, and they give you or your alcoholic a prescription for drugs and the...

oldergal · oldergal

"I Shall Look At The World Through Tears. Perhaps I Shall See Things That, Dry-Eyed, I Could Not See".---Nicholas Wolterstorff.There comes a time in life,when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, a...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

After this past week and weekend, and making a few connections, I've decided to start doing simple things that I'd stopped expecting him to pick up the slack and getting mad when he didn't (because that makes sense!). I have come to accept that I'm pretty much on my own. Besides his injury, his depres...

hopes314 · hopes314

I am so very happy that I found this web site. When I just don't know what to do with the anger, restlessness, irritability, and craziness, I can come here and get the alnon tools to maintain my serenity. The moreI can keep myself in this program the better I feel. Thanks so much for the replies to my mess...

Dia and 5 · Dia and 5

I have been dealing with my AH for 2 years now. I am not sure if it was longer, I was in denial for a long time before I could see at least a 2 year mark. Sometimes I feel strong and I can get through it and sometimes I feel like what is the point of this life with him. Why am I enduring this grief and loneliness. The...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am so angry, hurt and feel down right stupid. As some of you may know I let my 5 year old go live an hour and a half away with her dad, because her Kindergarten teacher and she were butting heads and she was coming home crying more days then not and it just seemed to be a very bad emotional start to her educati...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is retired. He has been an alcoholic all of his life. We have been married 10 years. I did not know he was an alcoholic when I married him otherwise I wouldn't have. It was one of these whirlwind relationships that was totally wrong on so many levels. I stay wit...

clanqc · clanqc

We have been snowed in for 5 days. She has been with us, trying to act right, but when we start asking questions about what is going to do, she puts her hands to her ears. She cannot tak about it. She lost temp custody of her 3 year old to daughters psychopathic daddy, 2 hours away. How? She admitted to t...

lsng · lsng

I dont enjoy alcohol much, beyond the occasional beer. But... My wife does. When we met, she rarely drank, which I considered a plus. 5 years on...She drinks every night. Sometimes just one glass of wine/beer, sometimes a few. Sometimes she seems totally sober to me, and oftentimes, she's buzz...

Summersun · Summersun

Hi this is my first time posting on a forum so I hope it's ok to just to ask a question. So I have been married for 9 years and I have an 18 month old. When I met my husband he was in recovery having been in rehab for alcohol abuse. He was sober for around 18 months and then started to drink again. His therapist tho...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I've been doing OK...living my life. Work has been very busy and my duties have changed somewhat but I still have a job. 4 more years and I can retire....yeppee!! Home life is better too and I'm grateful for that. My SO has been very good but still doesn't help much but that I can't contro...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Tradition Five helps me to set three goals to work the steps for myself; to have compassion for alcoholics; and to have compassion for those who come to Alanon. What strikes me is the amount of love to be found in these three goals. First, I love myself enough to try to heal and grow by working the Twelve St...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm becoming very fluent in speaking with the police .. on both sides of the coast and in the middle .. good grief. I need a new profession. Anyway, my mother gave me a huge scare. I don't call her every day however I do talk to her at least a couple times a week just to let her know we are all ok and find out ho...

Desirae · Desirae

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...

hopes314 · hopes314

I have been in alnon since March. I am much stronger than before where i was frozen to do anything. I knew something was up this weekend. I found my proof alcohol in the trash. But I did know without the validation. We are putting our house up for sale because he got a new job 4 states away. I will be moved s...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

just a word .. i had the daRnedest time logging in to step chat .. in fact, i changed my name to Serenity4uNme .. it kept saying email in use, yaddah yaddah .. so i Recreated a live.com account with the new name .. when i went back in I realised at one point i lost my page i was typing on .. grr then when i went to re...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

Tonight I set a boundary. I told my husband that I wanted him to buy out my half of the house. After spending time with him as a man who has not been saturated with alcohol since July, I have realized that there are questions I will never have answers to, hurts that will never be truly apologized for and my ac...

bud · bud

I thought I'd provide an update to a previous post regarding my therapist. She called me yesterday and we had a long discussion regarding what happened. She apologized several times and said she was not aware of the situation and the biller was not acting on her behalf and is angry with her biller. S...

tortuga · tortuga

Over the past months I was feeling ... full of fear, frightened, horrified, lonely, destroyed, empty, sad, angry, tired, depressed, low, negative, aggressive, stupid, crazy you name it i felt it. Today, somebody mentioned to remember in all of our program work and feelings, and struggles and less...

4evatheoptimist · 4evatheoptimist

my father is an alcoholic. After many attempts and treatments he was sober for 3 years but went back on it recently. he sought help and was sober for 4 weeks but is again back on it. I have a young family of my own and have been strong and helped him for so long but it's starting to affect things between my hus...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Well I guess I could feel it coming. I must say I was a bit surprised at how fast it came. Even with all the warnings I still melted down. I came home from the movies with the kids and he was toast -- stick a fork in him -- he was done. I got ahold of our counselor and he said to try to ride it out tonight and get h...

Jerry F · Jerry F

A few days prior to 2/8/1979 I was again planning a suicide. I had attempted it years before when married to an addict and then If HP don't want it I won't ever get to it. I decided to call help in emotional troubles and the suicide prevention center and there was no one there to help; either they were al...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had to laugh about a few things lately, first off I'm just in this really great place of acceptance LMH really hit home with her post. It's so funny how priorities change and how I'm more able to roll with the waves that life throws at me when I take the approach of it is what it is, .. if I can change it I look...

hopes314 · hopes314

It appears my choice is to learn to live with an active A. Are there truly happy stories you can share? What was the best tool to use? Thanks Hope

Melly1248 · Melly1248

So, Getting Them Sober really blew the lid wide open on a whole lot of stuff for me. Mainly, the kinds of things ABF does to "get to me" and the crazy things I do to try to cope with them and "change his mind". (And others too). It's hard to believe that these things I have been keeping s...

shimo · shimo

MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. TOPICS: Living fully, Grief, Denial The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is ir...

Jen · Jen

I'm having a hard time today getting out of my own head. Had a friend call this morning upset about gossip. I am usually really good to just listen and empathize a bit, then remind my friend that other peoples opinions are none of our business, but today I feel like I blew it and I really let it get to me and in...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, I was ready. I had my talking points. I was full of self-righteous indignation. I was strong, and I wasn't going to go unheard any more.But when I got home, he was waiting for me, and I just looked at him and thought, 'What was the point? He asked me if I wanted to talk. I said no, not really. I didn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have a hot date tonight .. yes .. yes I do .. my very cute son is taking me to the movies tonight. We are going to see the Lego Movie. Actually it's an afternoon date .. lol .. still I'm looking forward to it. More good news and lots of prayers .. apparently when I was told that the stbax was in his atty's off...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice f...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I haven't yet found a sponsor, so I decided I would start working the steps online. I looked at step 1 a couple weeks ago, and thought to myself "well, I know the answers to all these, this shouldn't take long" I sat down this morning to start. Two hours later, I am only halfway done, and want t...

Divedet · Divedet

Hello all, Thought I'd throw this subject out, since it's something I'm wrestling with and wondering about. I'm working through the end of a long term relationship with my AGF. She's gone, with someone new, and keeping the kids (hers) from me that we've raised together for almost 7 years. I'm ac...

bail01 · bail01

I'm not new to alcoholism, but I'm new to this board and Al-anon. My boyfriend of 3.5 years (who I live with) is an alcoholic. I knew it for a long time, but didn't really want to admit it. We fought about it a lot. In October he came to the realization himself that yes, he does have a problem. He was abusing a...

New member · AlexLeeB9901

Hello everyone I'm Alex. New to this online chat board thing. Hoping to find some help. I am from America (Louisville, Kentucky) 25 years old. Member of AA for 3 years now. Anyway, I have been in China for 5 months now and have meet an American friend who struggles with alcohol and drugs here. I am also...

hopes314 · hopes314

I look at my marriage which is broken. I don't even have enough money to get a divorce. my Ah stopped drinking and got a job. I am wondering how am I going to live with this man who cheated on me and lied to me. His recovery is God no 12 steps no counseling because they would pick on him for what he has done to me...

neshema2 · neshema2

After my workout, I went to Goodwill on the hunt for more recovery books....found two gems...one is "path to recovery" that I had been "waiting for"....the other "secussfully living w/screwed up people" that ought to be a "Goodie" THEN , I come acro...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I've been reading "Getting Them Sober" tonight. I have avoided it because I assumed it would be completely focused on the alcoholic and how to help him but it's quite clever in the way it lets you think you are "helping him" when it's really about helping yourself. Anyway I came u...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

AH has been home from rehab for 3 days now and I am supportive in his recovery and trying to not freak out that he will relapse. I have learned so much and I (intellectually) know that nothing I do will make him drink...or not........and that I have to focus on me...........it's just that I also know that...

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

I just recently got myself back on here. I knew that I had been here before, back in 2010, but couldn't remember my username, or if I was even still a member here. Well, last night, I was looking through old posts. And... I found my old posts!! Once I saw that name, I knew it was me. It was really interesting t...

bud · bud

I slipped and allowed myself to feel awful from some things someone else said. I had trusted, admired, and respected this person. I do not know if my perception is distorted or if I understood it the same as anyone else. I know that I need to employ QTIP much more strongly here. But the point is truly a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I always try to bring in some spirituality when I share & when I post. I hope I don't overdo it because sometimes it get pumped & excited about the HP or God or whatever you all like to call HIM or HER. I am trying to not push my beliefs on anyone. I am very passionate at times. I am not here to offend any...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is what most people call a functioning alcoholic. He drinks anywhere from 9-12 alcoholic beverages a day. He drinks mainly scotch and vodka. He doesn't act drunk, no one would know he is a drinker, other than his red face. He is shaking these days in the mornin...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

Why do you choose to stay with your alcoholic spouse??? I stay because financially right now I have no other choice. Just wondering.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Unrealistic expectations as an adult child. (Preview) Hey MIP My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Growing up in an alcoholic home, and seeing what those around me had and were capable of, I grew up with some very unrealistic expectations of myself and my limitations. I grew up in a home where I simply didn't have the resources or the in...	slogan_jim	7	519	Feb 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Oh, wait, we are actually going to talk about this. (Preview) Tuesday night when I came home from my Al Anon meeting I found my husband passed out on the bathroom floor. I left him there. Tonight, when I got home, we actually did end up having 'the talk'. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I told him flat out that he was losing me. I told him that, while I couldn't...	SpiderArcana	8	462	Feb 13, 2014 by 4kidsmama
	Making someone else my higher power? (Preview) I have come to realize that I have made my wife my higher power'. This has been an ongoing revelation, but it all sort of came together last night... Been keeping a journal of my thoughts 26 years (holy crap!! that long??!). I was reading through them last night, and its pretty clear I have a pattern of bei...	lsng	14	537	Feb 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Do I say something if I think she's drinking and I've already stated in the past I think she abuses alcohol? (Preview) If I suspect drinking, do I say something? For example, while talking to my W on the phone tonight, I suspected she might have been buzzed at least. Since Ive already made it clear that I think she abuses alcohol and needs to stop, do I say something? If only to let her know that I know? What about when we...	lsng	7	520	Feb 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	I am still contributing to the dysfunction, and I only have myself to blame...but not really (Preview) Long story...well not short exactly... AH slowed his drinking down...we were happier...for some reason we decided to get a dog. Awesome awesome puppy, but she still changes the dynamic and the routine and created an enourmous amount of stress for him. Besides regular puppy stuff, we just redid our...	sadsusie	7	411	Feb 13, 2014 by ParisMemories
	I just need a place to vent! (Preview) My AH is driving me crazy!!! My family is visiting and we stopped at a tea shop last night to check things out and my stepfather decided to order some tea so we sat at a table to drink a pot. My mother pulls out a food bar and eats it while we sit there. My AH leans over and says(in a not very nice way), "Y...	ilovedogs	12	387	Feb 13, 2014 by ilovedogs
	Outcome Engineer (Preview) Today I was cleaning the fish tank and thinking why am I cleaning the stupid fish tank? Let me backup, last spring I went to a carnival. I played the game where you toss ping pong balls and try to sink the ball into a glass to win a fish. I won 3 goldfish. We didn't have a fish tank and I had no clue how to care for...	MorningGlory	10	595	Feb 13, 2014 by Melly1248
	Just back from the E.R. (Preview) Well, the saga continues, I went to a funeral today for a friend, came home, asked my AH if he would like me to heat up some lunch for the both of us, he says no thanks, I ate already-- hands me a half empty bottle of prescription drugs. (on top of the only God knows how much wine he drank already). Says sin...	jillybean1	10	418	Feb 13, 2014 by Mari1978
	Escalation (Preview) This family disease of ours has upped a gear, it has escalated until I am once again living with and in chaos and despair. I feel sorry for myself, why do I have to live this all over again, its never actually left my life, this god dam illness. My son who, it is becoming more and more apparent, has been stayi...	el-cee	16	393	Feb 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	First meeting tonight (Preview) I hadn't planned on doing anything tonight, but AH is acting...weird. Didn't got to work, laying in bed all day, throwing himself a pity party. Whatever. Gotta take care of me, getting out of the house sounds good, and there's a newcomer meeting tonight. Sounds like it's all lined up just right. ...	SpiderArcana	9	282	Feb 12, 2014 by Little Bird
	Thinkin' Problem (Preview) Howdy yall, I heard this on the radio this morning. It is an old song I have heard many times..but like many songs, I don't pay too much attention the meaning of the lyrics. I listened and just had to laugh. This was most definitely my theme song 10 years ago prior to my coming to Al-Anon. David Ball : Thinki...	david62	2	227	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	Feeling The lost (Preview) I am going to a lawyer. All this is so scary. I don't want this to be my life but it is too much. What is so hard is that I am hanging onto the person he used to be who was sweet loving kind? I truly love this person. I don't want to divorce but it is so unheathly for me on many levels. My kids do not deserve this at al...	hopes314	6	313	Feb 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	if anyone has experience in this .. i might have asked this once before .. (Preview) tonight i went and had a visit with someone i very much respect who walks a very spiritual path .. my daughter is 10. i normally don't ask advice .. i do really know noone can give me any, except she has no idea her dad ever had any sort of addiction to drugs and she has no idea he's back in prison and doing time ....	MeTwo2	12	355	Feb 12, 2014 by abbyal
	Please help!!! (Preview) I really need some insight & words of wisdom. I am pregnant & highly emotional at the moment over this issue! This problem is not directly related to my qualifier (my father). Since i have known my husband he has given money to his mother who is a current smoker & has had a history of gambeli...	Living508	11	386	Feb 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Acceptance (Preview) So, the past couple of weeks I've come to accept that I'm married to an alcoholic, that I'm basically alone in this marriage, that he's going to do whatever the alcohol tells him, and I need to take care of my own needs. At first, I was devastated. Crying and sobbing, basically mourning what I've lost,...	SpiderArcana	5	403	Feb 12, 2014 by Tracy
	new to MIP (Preview) Good morning.......I have a few years of Anon recovery and have been reading-luking and wow its awesome here.. the person that brought me here is a daughter and the reason I am here is for me. I am at the stage of life that my parents need help(dementia) and TLC..and I cannot do the TLC without help for me...	siminotes	7	311	Feb 12, 2014 by siminotes
	WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. (Preview) WEDNESDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Love.....etc. TOPICS: Love, Hope Expectations The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...	shimo	0	131	Feb 12, 2014 by shimo
	The Right Shrink (Preview) Please when looking into getting help with a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, make sure they are educated, have experience with "alcoholism", it is not going to do anybody any good if you see someone, and they give you or your alcoholic a prescription for drugs and the...	oldergal	5	244	Feb 12, 2014 by pinkchip
	There Comes A Time in Life.... (Preview) "I Shall Look At The World Through Tears. Perhaps I Shall See Things That, Dry-Eyed, I Could Not See".---Nicholas Wolterstorff.There comes a time in life,when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it.You surround yourself with people who make you laugh, forget the bad, a...	oldergal	5	529	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	Doing for me (Preview) After this past week and weekend, and making a few connections, I've decided to start doing simple things that I'd stopped expecting him to pick up the slack and getting mad when he didn't (because that makes sense!). I have come to accept that I'm pretty much on my own. Besides his injury, his depres...	SpiderArcana	13	507	Feb 12, 2014 by hopes314
	A safe place to be (Preview) I am so very happy that I found this web site. When I just don't know what to do with the anger, restlessness, irritability, and craziness, I can come here and get the alnon tools to maintain my serenity. The moreI can keep myself in this program the better I feel. Thanks so much for the replies to my mess...	hopes314	5	334	Feb 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	New, Dealing with AH he makes me feel so crazy (Preview) I have been dealing with my AH for 2 years now. I am not sure if it was longer, I was in denial for a long time before I could see at least a 2 year mark. Sometimes I feel strong and I can get through it and sometimes I feel like what is the point of this life with him. Why am I enduring this grief and loneliness. The...	Dia and 5	7	434	Feb 11, 2014 by Dia and 5
	Let down again by the exAH yeah big surprise...... (Preview) I am so angry, hurt and feel down right stupid. As some of you may know I let my 5 year old go live an hour and a half away with her dad, because her Kindergarten teacher and she were butting heads and she was coming home crying more days then not and it just seemed to be a very bad emotional start to her educati...	Breakingfree	10	425	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Noticing things with alcoholic husband (Preview) My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is retired. He has been an alcoholic all of his life. We have been married 10 years. I did not know he was an alcoholic when I married him otherwise I wouldn't have. It was one of these whirlwind relationships that was totally wrong on so many levels. I stay wit...	willieisawestie	8	494	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Seeking suggestions for husband and wife to agree on boundaries for 37 year old adult semi functioning daughter (Preview) We have been snowed in for 5 days. She has been with us, trying to act right, but when we start asking questions about what is going to do, she puts her hands to her ears. She cannot tak about it. She lost temp custody of her 3 year old to daughters psychopathic daddy, 2 hours away. How? She admitted to t...	clanqc	4	459	Feb 11, 2014 by clanqc
	Does she have a drinking problem? (Preview) I dont enjoy alcohol much, beyond the occasional beer. But... My wife does. When we met, she rarely drank, which I considered a plus. 5 years on...She drinks every night. Sometimes just one glass of wine/beer, sometimes a few. Sometimes she seems totally sober to me, and oftentimes, she's buzz...	lsng	14	716	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Not sure what to do about my husbands drinking. (Preview) Hi this is my first time posting on a forum so I hope it's ok to just to ask a question. So I have been married for 9 years and I have an 18 month old. When I met my husband he was in recovery having been in rehab for alcohol abuse. He was sober for around 18 months and then started to drink again. His therapist tho...	Summersun	10	465	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Good Morning (Preview) Hi Everyone I've been doing OK...living my life. Work has been very busy and my duties have changed somewhat but I still have a job. 4 more years and I can retire....yeppee!! Home life is better too and I'm grateful for that. My SO has been very good but still doesn't help much but that I can't contro...	Cathyinaz	4	339	Feb 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Courage to change reading Pg 42.. Feb 11 .. (Preview) Tradition Five helps me to set three goals to work the steps for myself; to have compassion for alcoholics; and to have compassion for those who come to Alanon. What strikes me is the amount of love to be found in these three goals. First, I love myself enough to try to heal and grow by working the Twelve St...	MeTwo2	2	556	Feb 11, 2014 by Green Eyes
	My weekend excitement .. (Preview) I'm becoming very fluent in speaking with the police .. on both sides of the coast and in the middle .. good grief. I need a new profession. Anyway, my mother gave me a huge scare. I don't call her every day however I do talk to her at least a couple times a week just to let her know we are all ok and find out ho...	SerenityRUS	4	263	Feb 11, 2014 by Green Eyes
	TUESDAY MEETING 9AM (EST) – TOPICS: BELIEVE IN SELF; JADE; SAY WHAT YOU MEAN/MEAN WHAT YOU SAY/DON'T SAY IT MEAN (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...	Desirae	0	171	Feb 11, 2014 by Desirae
	rollercoast ride (Preview) I have been in alnon since March. I am much stronger than before where i was frozen to do anything. I knew something was up this weekend. I found my proof alcohol in the trash. But I did know without the validation. We are putting our house up for sale because he got a new job 4 states away. I will be moved s...	hopes314	9	380	Feb 11, 2014 by hopes314
	A word on the step board And love this insight .. =) (Preview) just a word .. i had the daRnedest time logging in to step chat .. in fact, i changed my name to Serenity4uNme .. it kept saying email in use, yaddah yaddah .. so i Recreated a live.com account with the new name .. when i went back in I realised at one point i lost my page i was typing on .. grr then when i went to re...	MeTwo2	1	213	Feb 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Feel Like Crap Tonight (Preview) Tonight I set a boundary. I told my husband that I wanted him to buy out my half of the house. After spending time with him as a man who has not been saturated with alcohol since July, I have realized that there are questions I will never have answers to, hurts that will never be truly apologized for and my ac...	wornoutmrsfixit	17	440	Feb 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	the therapist (Preview) I thought I'd provide an update to a previous post regarding my therapist. She called me yesterday and we had a long discussion regarding what happened. She apologized several times and said she was not aware of the situation and the biller was not acting on her behalf and is angry with her biller. S...	bud	8	438	Feb 10, 2014 by bud
	i feel… like dancing (Preview) Over the past months I was feeling ... full of fear, frightened, horrified, lonely, destroyed, empty, sad, angry, tired, depressed, low, negative, aggressive, stupid, crazy you name it i felt it. Today, somebody mentioned to remember in all of our program work and feelings, and struggles and less...	tortuga	6	262	Feb 10, 2014 by 4evatheoptimist
	Angry and confused newbie (Preview) my father is an alcoholic. After many attempts and treatments he was sober for 3 years but went back on it recently. he sought help and was sober for 4 weeks but is again back on it. I have a young family of my own and have been strong and helped him for so long but it's starting to affect things between my hus...	4evatheoptimist	7	496	Feb 10, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Relapse 3 days out of rehab (Preview) Well I guess I could feel it coming. I must say I was a bit surprised at how fast it came. Even with all the warnings I still melted down. I came home from the movies with the kids and he was toast -- stick a fork in him -- he was done. I got ahold of our counselor and he said to try to ride it out tonight and get h...	jillybean1	8	380	Feb 10, 2014 by 4evatheoptimist
	35 years yesterday... (Preview) A few days prior to 2/8/1979 I was again planning a suicide. I had attempted it years before when married to an addict and then If HP don't want it I won't ever get to it. I decided to call help in emotional troubles and the suicide prevention center and there was no one there to help; either they were al...	Jerry F	16	475	Feb 10, 2014 by MeTwo2
	So much to choose from :) (Preview) I had to laugh about a few things lately, first off I'm just in this really great place of acceptance LMH really hit home with her post. It's so funny how priorities change and how I'm more able to roll with the waves that life throws at me when I take the approach of it is what it is, .. if I can change it I look...	SerenityRUS	2	450	Feb 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	i need stories of hope- can you really live with an active A (Preview) It appears my choice is to learn to live with an active A. Are there truly happy stories you can share? What was the best tool to use? Thanks Hope	hopes314	7	476	Feb 10, 2014 by Tasha
	Who knew? (Preview) So, Getting Them Sober really blew the lid wide open on a whole lot of stuff for me. Mainly, the kinds of things ABF does to "get to me" and the crazy things I do to try to cope with them and "change his mind". (And others too). It's hard to believe that these things I have been keeping s...	Melly1248	9	482	Feb 10, 2014 by Tasha
	MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. (Preview) MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. TOPICS: Living fully, Grief, Denial The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is ir...	shimo	0	179	Feb 10, 2014 by shimo
	My bucket runneth low today. (Preview) I'm having a hard time today getting out of my own head. Had a friend call this morning upset about gossip. I am usually really good to just listen and empathize a bit, then remind my friend that other peoples opinions are none of our business, but today I feel like I blew it and I really let it get to me and in...	Jen	5	395	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Update: The talk....er, sort of (Preview) So, I was ready. I had my talking points. I was full of self-righteous indignation. I was strong, and I wasn't going to go unheard any more.But when I got home, he was waiting for me, and I just looked at him and thought, 'What was the point? He asked me if I wanted to talk. I said no, not really. I didn...	SpiderArcana	8	504	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Nice weekend :) (Preview) I have a hot date tonight .. yes .. yes I do .. my very cute son is taking me to the movies tonight. We are going to see the Lego Movie. Actually it's an afternoon date .. lol .. still I'm looking forward to it. More good news and lots of prayers .. apparently when I was told that the stbax was in his atty's off...	SerenityRUS	5	193	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Inventory (Preview) Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice f...	Wisdom67	2	202	Feb 10, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Step 1 - not so simple! (Preview) I haven't yet found a sponsor, so I decided I would start working the steps online. I looked at step 1 a couple weeks ago, and thought to myself "well, I know the answers to all these, this shouldn't take long" I sat down this morning to start. Two hours later, I am only halfway done, and want t...	KennyFenderjazz	7	393	Feb 9, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Anger, psychological vs spiritual (Preview) Hello all, Thought I'd throw this subject out, since it's something I'm wrestling with and wondering about. I'm working through the end of a long term relationship with my AGF. She's gone, with someone new, and keeping the kids (hers) from me that we've raised together for almost 7 years. I'm ac...	Divedet	8	579	Feb 9, 2014 by MeTwo2
	New and confused (Preview) I'm not new to alcoholism, but I'm new to this board and Al-anon. My boyfriend of 3.5 years (who I live with) is an alcoholic. I knew it for a long time, but didn't really want to admit it. We fought about it a lot. In October he came to the realization himself that yes, he does have a problem. He was abusing a...	bail01	12	594	Feb 9, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	New member (Preview) Hello everyone I'm Alex. New to this online chat board thing. Hoping to find some help. I am from America (Louisville, Kentucky) 25 years old. Member of AA for 3 years now. Anyway, I have been in China for 5 months now and have meet an American friend who struggles with alcohol and drugs here. I am also...	AlexLeeB9901	5	255	Feb 9, 2014 by Jerry F
	i feel i am stuck (Preview) I look at my marriage which is broken. I don't even have enough money to get a divorce. my Ah stopped drinking and got a job. I am wondering how am I going to live with this man who cheated on me and lied to me. His recovery is God no 12 steps no counseling because they would pick on him for what he has done to me...	hopes314	13	501	Feb 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	I guess I am growing up (Preview) After my workout, I went to Goodwill on the hunt for more recovery books....found two gems...one is "path to recovery" that I had been "waiting for"....the other "secussfully living w/screwed up people" that ought to be a "Goodie" THEN , I come acro...	neshema2	5	318	Feb 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Getting Them Sober. (Preview) I've been reading "Getting Them Sober" tonight. I have avoided it because I assumed it would be completely focused on the alcoholic and how to help him but it's quite clever in the way it lets you think you are "helping him" when it's really about helping yourself. Anyway I came u...	Melly1248	14	559	Feb 9, 2014 by Melly1248
	trying to mind my own business (Preview) AH has been home from rehab for 3 days now and I am supportive in his recovery and trying to not freak out that he will relapse. I have learned so much and I (intellectually) know that nothing I do will make him drink...or not........and that I have to focus on me...........it's just that I also know that...	jillybean1	5	837	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	looking back (Preview) I just recently got myself back on here. I knew that I had been here before, back in 2010, but couldn't remember my username, or if I was even still a member here. Well, last night, I was looking through old posts. And... I found my old posts!! Once I saw that name, I knew it was me. It was really interesting t...	jen_nipher	4	313	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	Exorcising my reactions to a trigger (Preview) I slipped and allowed myself to feel awful from some things someone else said. I had trusted, admired, and respected this person. I do not know if my perception is distorted or if I understood it the same as anyone else. I know that I need to employ QTIP much more strongly here. But the point is truly a...	bud	6	344	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	spiritually speaking... (Preview) I always try to bring in some spirituality when I share & when I post. I hope I don't overdo it because sometimes it get pumped & excited about the HP or God or whatever you all like to call HIM or HER. I am trying to not push my beliefs on anyone. I am very passionate at times. I am not here to offend any...	Hoot Nanny	2	232	Feb 8, 2014 by karma13
	First Time Here--have questions. (Preview) My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is what most people call a functioning alcoholic. He drinks anywhere from 9-12 alcoholic beverages a day. He drinks mainly scotch and vodka. He doesn't act drunk, no one would know he is a drinker, other than his red face. He is shaking these days in the mornin...	willieisawestie	4	292	Feb 8, 2014 by jen_nipher
	New to this. Curious Question?? (Preview) Why do you choose to stay with your alcoholic spouse??? I stay because financially right now I have no other choice. Just wondering.	willieisawestie	8	436	Feb 8, 2014 by SpiderArcana
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