Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shimo · shimo

MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. TOPICS: Living fully, Grief, Denial The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is ir...

Jen · Jen

I'm having a hard time today getting out of my own head. Had a friend call this morning upset about gossip. I am usually really good to just listen and empathize a bit, then remind my friend that other peoples opinions are none of our business, but today I feel like I blew it and I really let it get to me and in...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, I was ready. I had my talking points. I was full of self-righteous indignation. I was strong, and I wasn't going to go unheard any more.But when I got home, he was waiting for me, and I just looked at him and thought, 'What was the point? He asked me if I wanted to talk. I said no, not really. I didn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have a hot date tonight .. yes .. yes I do .. my very cute son is taking me to the movies tonight. We are going to see the Lego Movie. Actually it's an afternoon date .. lol .. still I'm looking forward to it. More good news and lots of prayers .. apparently when I was told that the stbax was in his atty's off...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice f...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I haven't yet found a sponsor, so I decided I would start working the steps online. I looked at step 1 a couple weeks ago, and thought to myself "well, I know the answers to all these, this shouldn't take long" I sat down this morning to start. Two hours later, I am only halfway done, and want t...

Divedet · Divedet

Hello all, Thought I'd throw this subject out, since it's something I'm wrestling with and wondering about. I'm working through the end of a long term relationship with my AGF. She's gone, with someone new, and keeping the kids (hers) from me that we've raised together for almost 7 years. I'm ac...

bail01 · bail01

I'm not new to alcoholism, but I'm new to this board and Al-anon. My boyfriend of 3.5 years (who I live with) is an alcoholic. I knew it for a long time, but didn't really want to admit it. We fought about it a lot. In October he came to the realization himself that yes, he does have a problem. He was abusing a...

New member · AlexLeeB9901

Hello everyone I'm Alex. New to this online chat board thing. Hoping to find some help. I am from America (Louisville, Kentucky) 25 years old. Member of AA for 3 years now. Anyway, I have been in China for 5 months now and have meet an American friend who struggles with alcohol and drugs here. I am also...

hopes314 · hopes314

I look at my marriage which is broken. I don't even have enough money to get a divorce. my Ah stopped drinking and got a job. I am wondering how am I going to live with this man who cheated on me and lied to me. His recovery is God no 12 steps no counseling because they would pick on him for what he has done to me...

neshema2 · neshema2

After my workout, I went to Goodwill on the hunt for more recovery books....found two gems...one is "path to recovery" that I had been "waiting for"....the other "secussfully living w/screwed up people" that ought to be a "Goodie" THEN , I come acro...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I've been reading "Getting Them Sober" tonight. I have avoided it because I assumed it would be completely focused on the alcoholic and how to help him but it's quite clever in the way it lets you think you are "helping him" when it's really about helping yourself. Anyway I came u...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

AH has been home from rehab for 3 days now and I am supportive in his recovery and trying to not freak out that he will relapse. I have learned so much and I (intellectually) know that nothing I do will make him drink...or not........and that I have to focus on me...........it's just that I also know that...

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

I just recently got myself back on here. I knew that I had been here before, back in 2010, but couldn't remember my username, or if I was even still a member here. Well, last night, I was looking through old posts. And... I found my old posts!! Once I saw that name, I knew it was me. It was really interesting t...

bud · bud

I slipped and allowed myself to feel awful from some things someone else said. I had trusted, admired, and respected this person. I do not know if my perception is distorted or if I understood it the same as anyone else. I know that I need to employ QTIP much more strongly here. But the point is truly a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I always try to bring in some spirituality when I share & when I post. I hope I don't overdo it because sometimes it get pumped & excited about the HP or God or whatever you all like to call HIM or HER. I am trying to not push my beliefs on anyone. I am very passionate at times. I am not here to offend any...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is what most people call a functioning alcoholic. He drinks anywhere from 9-12 alcoholic beverages a day. He drinks mainly scotch and vodka. He doesn't act drunk, no one would know he is a drinker, other than his red face. He is shaking these days in the mornin...

willieisawestie · willieisawestie

Why do you choose to stay with your alcoholic spouse??? I stay because financially right now I have no other choice. Just wondering.

Marie212 · Marie212

I'm an active Al-Anon member who reads daily from ODAT, etc. One of the tenants is "don't create a crisis nor prevent a crisis" when dealing with your qualifier, but I'm struggling with this one. My qualifier came home late in the afternoon very obviously under the influence and was about t...

milkwood · milkwood

AH and I have just restarted couples counselling and were asked to do a list of what we would like to share in our lives and what is separate. We worked on our lists individually and the difference in our approaches is huge. AH's list is full of emotions and feelings and states of being and my list is full...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

http://www.onecraftymother.com/2014/02/philip-seymour-hoffman-how-could-he.html?m=1

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello I'm posting today because I'm in my right mind . Since I been trying to heal me and find me and tend to me , I realize I'm a lot of work . I'm back to seeing my therepist who loves the fact I'm attempting to reach out for resource to help me . Just because my A sober 1 year is back to the cry pity and guilt trips...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I also feel like dancing & singing & being the best me I can be! I am so grateful today. I think I will go home later & blast my satellite radio! I have to relish & cherish the time I have to spend celebrating. One of my friends said we have the permission to be silly! I can do that every day. So...

JamesMS1984 · JamesMS1984

Dear All, Hi my name is James MS. I am a greatful member of Al-non for many years. This is my great attempt to carry the message of recovery in all my affiairs. When I first came to Al-non I was a mess. I was riddled with alcoholism and defects. My personal hygiene was terrible. I went to university in a out f...

Lyne · Lyne

I never really understood why members don't crosstalk in F2F meetings, but I got it this past Tuesday. We are each working on ourself. And that's why I respect everyone there. We are honestly trying to better ourselves, by self-reflection. It's actually really cool. I've just finished my firs...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I feel much like a hypocrite. I was spouting the importance of compassion and understanding to another on a board the night before, and now here I am, enraged. He was a week in. Yet, I am not surprised as he has done nothing to seek support. No meetings. No therapist or substance abuse counselor. He has ho...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

Al-Anon Meeting at 9PM EST tonight 2/7/14 in the chat room. Hope to see you all there!

Aloha · Aloha

Today I ran into a challenge that had me upset with a couple employees. We're going through a large change here in the business and I asked several of the staff members to communicate some of the changes with clients. I sent this via an email and almost immediately two of them started peppering me with em...

John · John

I have been working hard at bring our site up to date and bringing a new, fresh look to it. Please look around it, read the material on it, and then come back to to the message board and post under the Topic... "Site Facelift.. what do you think?" (This one) And tell me what you think of the changes that hav...

oldergal · oldergal

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes I think of my journey with my ex-A, as bad as it was, as awful as it was to be screamed at, blamed, bullied - as bad as it was and as many tears as I cried, the pain that drove me to Al-Anon, the outcome, my now, was worth it. Yesterday someone calls me up to say he had bad news for me, my mind went to - some...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It's been more peaceful. The best program tool I came up with is "I am not God!" (as if thats a new thought). I always thought I understood that saying "there is a God and I am not it." I didn't realize I was making myself into some kind of God of rehab or something. I was hold...

Pamela1954 · Pamela1954

Things have not been good since my adult son got home from rehab. The plan is for him to get on his feet financially and move out in 2-3 months. We had been going in his room looking for evidence of him using and found questionable things. Our counselor says we are to back off so we have, but it is so hard. ...

Daughter · Daughter

I posted here nearly one month ago when my AM suddenly died in a tragic car accident after what we assume to be a night of binging. As I'm sure you all understand all too well, I was losing "my mom" for many years before that due to her disease. I have grieved the lost of the person I knew for so long...

atheos · atheos

(ESH = Experience, Strength, and Hope) For reasons I don't really want to get into right now, I grew up to be an extremely insecure person. I am utterly terrified of people finding out anything about me that will make them not like me, of embarrassing myself in front of others with awkward behavior -- I o...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

There has been a LOT going on all positive a little frustrating .. it's just going to be what it's going to be at this point. Got a ton of snow dumped our direction. LOL .. that was fun .. I'm pretty much over winter and the white stuff .. it can go away until next year sometime. I got the job!! I'm sooo exci...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I used to believe that I needed to be prepared for the worst always. I am learning a new way to prepare myself to be healthy and strong to deal with life's ups and downs instead. Gaining the confidence to maintain sanity through difficult times, and learning to enjoy the smallest of blessings every day....

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Still kicking away .. Went to a meeting this week and heard someone choose a topic of courage; said the topic of fear was negative ? In all my years of alanon, I have never heard one share that I perceived as negative .. funny coming from me who I thought was the most negative person I knew .. through the yea...

jen_nipher · jen_nipher

Hi everyone.. I was a member here a couple of years ago, and foolish me thought I was ok.. that my DH would give up the drink. He did for about 6 month. Now its worse than ever. I use to attend face to face meetings too but stopped it as well. Now I realize that wasn't very smart of me at all. I do know that it's no...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I'm pretty sure it's over. I made a pro/con list about staying married. The pros outweigh the cons, but not by much. I don't think we can give each other what we need any more. I don't think we even know what we need any more. I wish he were financially secure enough that I could just leave. I don't care...

oldergal · oldergal

Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. ~Art Buchwald If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston I don't wan...

Alanon member and online tech · cwya

Can someone explain to me how to access the drafts saved of posts I write. Several times I have spent (or wasted) a large amount of time writing a post or message only to have it disappear because of something I've done in my clumsiness with my keyboard or the PM and whiteboard areas. There's a little me...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I do try to keep the focus on myself as much as possible these days. But I feel a little worn down after my time away with family (it was a challenge, as I explained) and now, as I went away for several days, ABF is in full crazy-making mode. As a punishment? It doesn't matter why. It matters that it is wearing...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I hadn't been back to a meeting since before Christmas. Meetings weren't on for a few weeks over the holidays, and the few I had attended prior had only 2 members and I've mentioned before, it was kinda repetetive so I'd only dragged myself to a few....well today I went to it ANYWAY and there were 8 people...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Our shortest slogan, "Think," can be very helpful. However, as with most tools, I need to use it with care and reason. As I've heard it said around the Al-Anon rooms, my best thinking is what got me here. For me, thinking too much or in a negative way is almost as dangerous as not thinking at all...

el-cee · el-cee

I think I might be addicted to Alanon. Is that possible? I only read Alanon literature, I dont read for pleasure anymore. lol Its on my mind from morning until night, I cant see life from any other eyes now so the world seems different to me. People seem transparent and in desperate need of the program to m...

Grace7 · Grace7

Speaking of songs, Matthew Wests song, "I Love You More" I Swear was written just for my family! We Always say, "I Love You More than ALLLL the ................. in the whole world!" Or universe! The grandchildren know nothing else but this, and my Dad would always say, &quo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I don't know where to share or to talk about some of my experiences at my job. I know they are affecting my sobriety, but they also relate to having to deal with alcoholics and addicts all day every day. This week was nuts. I am still at work for the 6th day in a row. Clients were insane (literally) today...

hopes314 · hopes314

I wish I could drive by a landfill and throw all my anger out. I know that landfill would be filled to the brim. My anger was so misguided yesterday. I seemed to be mad about everything in life. I definitely was not happy. Usually I can get mad and move on but this stuck to me. I know where the anger is from whi...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I told my AH that (after an entire day of the silent treatment) I was going to my parent's house for a few days. He asked that I come home and we talk. I said fine. I know what's going to happen. He's going to promise to change, to stop drinking, to do anything I want, to change for me. And that's not enough...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Several years ago, I learned that a certain tribe in a small village in Africa would deal with the offenses of a villager by placing the offending person in a circle. The entire tribe would circle the person whose offenses were of grave concern to them. Then, each villager would take a turn telling th...

grateful2be · grateful2be

One of the things I've learned as a longtime program member of Al-Anon is how uncomfortable I can be over somebody else's denial. I have learned to let a person be where they are for the most part although sometimes I might slip up. I truly don't know what kind of harm I can do to another if I try to rip off t...

texasgal · texasgal

On Monday I set a boundary with my husband.I no longer live at home I got my own apt. The last bill at our home with my name was the light bill. It was $200 and if he didnt pay by Monday it was going to be disconnected. He told me he could not pay it. So i told him to get a prepay electric company and switch it over to...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

This song grabbed me from the first line. To me, it describes so clearly the feelings of having to walk away from someone you love but they are so "numb" they seem not to understand or even care what they've done. After boo hooing through the Carrie Underwood song that someone posted earlier...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

After copious reading on Surrender I have come to believe that it is a step process, not a not there one moment and there the next. I have now come to believe that what I thought was my surrender was merely compliance. I was doing all the right things. But, until my conscious and unconscious linked...

padodi · padodi

This is my very first time on here or any other message board. I am at the end of my rope and just googled "I hate alcohol" and came to this site. I have never been to al-anon, but after reading some of these posts, I plan to now! Until then, I have a question for all of you pros. My adult daughter is a...

Grace7 · Grace7

Its been 2 months since Dad died. I sat down with the mounds of paper work, which I've been chipping away at. When I filed his poa, the tears came. I've spent so many years taking care of him, making sure he is provided for as age crept up and visited his mind. I worked ever so diligently to maintain his d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time to move on after the apology from my mom is totally accepted. I think she is bringing me back into her world again. I am just so glad that I will probably be in the know from now on. She is still going to be in the doghouse if she pulls one of those again. I am so grateful for this program that I have so many fr...

el-cee · el-cee

....how, way back in time those founders got this together. I mean this philosophy is based many different philosophies. I don't know them all but I have read quotes from Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, many ancient philosophers and general wise folks like Abraham Lincoln. What kind of educat...

tortuga · tortuga

I read that poster today by coincidence: 'I guess the moment everything changed was when I realized I deserved so much better.' and it just clicked. I hav spend the past 2 months away from A, and lived back in my 'original' environment. Many moments of peace came over me, as well as many moments of grie...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. (Preview) MONDAY AM MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: Living fully.....etc. TOPICS: Living fully, Grief, Denial The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is ir...	shimo	0	158	Feb 10, 2014 by shimo
	My bucket runneth low today. (Preview) I'm having a hard time today getting out of my own head. Had a friend call this morning upset about gossip. I am usually really good to just listen and empathize a bit, then remind my friend that other peoples opinions are none of our business, but today I feel like I blew it and I really let it get to me and in...	Jen	5	374	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Update: The talk....er, sort of (Preview) So, I was ready. I had my talking points. I was full of self-righteous indignation. I was strong, and I wasn't going to go unheard any more.But when I got home, he was waiting for me, and I just looked at him and thought, 'What was the point? He asked me if I wanted to talk. I said no, not really. I didn...	SpiderArcana	8	476	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Nice weekend :) (Preview) I have a hot date tonight .. yes .. yes I do .. my very cute son is taking me to the movies tonight. We are going to see the Lego Movie. Actually it's an afternoon date .. lol .. still I'm looking forward to it. More good news and lots of prayers .. apparently when I was told that the stbax was in his atty's off...	SerenityRUS	5	166	Feb 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Inventory (Preview) Well I thought about it . I am going to start back to step one recap make it to my inventory and start the process of finding me and who I am and I don't have a Sponser anymore is there anyone that would like to help me with my step works and Sponser me I no longer have my car so getting to a meeting is not a choice f...	Wisdom67	2	177	Feb 10, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Step 1 - not so simple! (Preview) I haven't yet found a sponsor, so I decided I would start working the steps online. I looked at step 1 a couple weeks ago, and thought to myself "well, I know the answers to all these, this shouldn't take long" I sat down this morning to start. Two hours later, I am only halfway done, and want t...	KennyFenderjazz	7	372	Feb 9, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Anger, psychological vs spiritual (Preview) Hello all, Thought I'd throw this subject out, since it's something I'm wrestling with and wondering about. I'm working through the end of a long term relationship with my AGF. She's gone, with someone new, and keeping the kids (hers) from me that we've raised together for almost 7 years. I'm ac...	Divedet	8	557	Feb 9, 2014 by MeTwo2
	New and confused (Preview) I'm not new to alcoholism, but I'm new to this board and Al-anon. My boyfriend of 3.5 years (who I live with) is an alcoholic. I knew it for a long time, but didn't really want to admit it. We fought about it a lot. In October he came to the realization himself that yes, he does have a problem. He was abusing a...	bail01	12	572	Feb 9, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	New member (Preview) Hello everyone I'm Alex. New to this online chat board thing. Hoping to find some help. I am from America (Louisville, Kentucky) 25 years old. Member of AA for 3 years now. Anyway, I have been in China for 5 months now and have meet an American friend who struggles with alcohol and drugs here. I am also...	AlexLeeB9901	5	234	Feb 9, 2014 by Jerry F
	i feel i am stuck (Preview) I look at my marriage which is broken. I don't even have enough money to get a divorce. my Ah stopped drinking and got a job. I am wondering how am I going to live with this man who cheated on me and lied to me. His recovery is God no 12 steps no counseling because they would pick on him for what he has done to me...	hopes314	13	480	Feb 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	I guess I am growing up (Preview) After my workout, I went to Goodwill on the hunt for more recovery books....found two gems...one is "path to recovery" that I had been "waiting for"....the other "secussfully living w/screwed up people" that ought to be a "Goodie" THEN , I come acro...	neshema2	5	294	Feb 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Getting Them Sober. (Preview) I've been reading "Getting Them Sober" tonight. I have avoided it because I assumed it would be completely focused on the alcoholic and how to help him but it's quite clever in the way it lets you think you are "helping him" when it's really about helping yourself. Anyway I came u...	Melly1248	14	535	Feb 9, 2014 by Melly1248
	trying to mind my own business (Preview) AH has been home from rehab for 3 days now and I am supportive in his recovery and trying to not freak out that he will relapse. I have learned so much and I (intellectually) know that nothing I do will make him drink...or not........and that I have to focus on me...........it's just that I also know that...	jillybean1	5	811	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	looking back (Preview) I just recently got myself back on here. I knew that I had been here before, back in 2010, but couldn't remember my username, or if I was even still a member here. Well, last night, I was looking through old posts. And... I found my old posts!! Once I saw that name, I knew it was me. It was really interesting t...	jen_nipher	4	292	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	Exorcising my reactions to a trigger (Preview) I slipped and allowed myself to feel awful from some things someone else said. I had trusted, admired, and respected this person. I do not know if my perception is distorted or if I understood it the same as anyone else. I know that I need to employ QTIP much more strongly here. But the point is truly a...	bud	6	317	Feb 9, 2014 by bud
	spiritually speaking... (Preview) I always try to bring in some spirituality when I share & when I post. I hope I don't overdo it because sometimes it get pumped & excited about the HP or God or whatever you all like to call HIM or HER. I am trying to not push my beliefs on anyone. I am very passionate at times. I am not here to offend any...	Hoot Nanny	2	211	Feb 8, 2014 by karma13
	First Time Here--have questions. (Preview) My husband is soon to be 68 years old. He is what most people call a functioning alcoholic. He drinks anywhere from 9-12 alcoholic beverages a day. He drinks mainly scotch and vodka. He doesn't act drunk, no one would know he is a drinker, other than his red face. He is shaking these days in the mornin...	willieisawestie	4	271	Feb 8, 2014 by jen_nipher
	New to this. Curious Question?? (Preview) Why do you choose to stay with your alcoholic spouse??? I stay because financially right now I have no other choice. Just wondering.	willieisawestie	8	415	Feb 8, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Prevent a crisis? (Preview) I'm an active Al-Anon member who reads daily from ODAT, etc. One of the tenants is "don't create a crisis nor prevent a crisis" when dealing with your qualifier, but I'm struggling with this one. My qualifier came home late in the afternoon very obviously under the influence and was about t...	Marie212	15	1155	Feb 8, 2014 by Jen61
	Need to share this (Preview) AH and I have just restarted couples counselling and were asked to do a list of what we would like to share in our lives and what is separate. We worked on our lists individually and the difference in our approaches is huge. AH's list is full of emotions and feelings and states of being and my list is full...	milkwood	9	358	Feb 8, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	A powerful message (Preview) http://www.onecraftymother.com/2014/02/philip-seymour-hoffman-how-could-he.html?m=1	ParisMemories	3	261	Feb 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Guilt trip are ok (Preview) Hello I'm posting today because I'm in my right mind . Since I been trying to heal me and find me and tend to me , I realize I'm a lot of work . I'm back to seeing my therepist who loves the fact I'm attempting to reach out for resource to help me . Just because my A sober 1 year is back to the cry pity and guilt trips...	Wisdom67	7	512	Feb 8, 2014 by el-cee
	I agree Tortuga! (Preview) I also feel like dancing & singing & being the best me I can be! I am so grateful today. I think I will go home later & blast my satellite radio! I have to relish & cherish the time I have to spend celebrating. One of my friends said we have the permission to be silly! I can do that every day. So...	Hoot Nanny	5	251	Feb 8, 2014 by tortuga
	Al-non : The message of 12 Step recovery in all my affairs (Preview) Dear All, Hi my name is James MS. I am a greatful member of Al-non for many years. This is my great attempt to carry the message of recovery in all my affiairs. When I first came to Al-non I was a mess. I was riddled with alcoholism and defects. My personal hygiene was terrible. I went to university in a out f...	JamesMS1984	3	391	Feb 8, 2014 by DavidG
	no cross talk (Preview) I never really understood why members don't crosstalk in F2F meetings, but I got it this past Tuesday. We are each working on ourself. And that's why I respect everyone there. We are honestly trying to better ourselves, by self-reflection. It's actually really cool. I've just finished my firs...	Lyne	8	678	Feb 8, 2014 by DavidG
	Dealing with relapse (Preview) I feel much like a hypocrite. I was spouting the importance of compassion and understanding to another on a board the night before, and now here I am, enraged. He was a week in. Yet, I am not surprised as he has done nothing to seek support. No meetings. No therapist or substance abuse counselor. He has ho...	astallaslions	6	440	Feb 7, 2014 by maryjane
	Friday Evening Friends topic tonight is: Acceptance Friday Friends meeting acceptance Friday night Al-Anon meeting (Preview) Al-Anon Meeting at 9PM EST tonight 2/7/14 in the chat room. Hope to see you all there!	Tricia911	0	5452	Feb 7, 2014 by Tricia911
	Oh that's right... they're alcoholics... (Preview) Today I ran into a challenge that had me upset with a couple employees. We're going through a large change here in the business and I asked several of the staff members to communicate some of the changes with clients. I sent this via an email and almost immediately two of them started peppering me with em...	Aloha	6	451	Feb 7, 2014 by Awaken
	Site Facelift.. what do you think? (Preview) I have been working hard at bring our site up to date and bringing a new, fresh look to it. Please look around it, read the material on it, and then come back to to the message board and post under the Topic... "Site Facelift.. what do you think?" (This one) And tell me what you think of the changes that hav...	John	24	391	Feb 7, 2014 by oldergal
	This Could Be True .... (Preview)	oldergal	6	260	Feb 7, 2014 by el-cee
	Simple Acceptance (Preview) Sometimes I think of my journey with my ex-A, as bad as it was, as awful as it was to be screamed at, blamed, bullied - as bad as it was and as many tears as I cried, the pain that drove me to Al-Anon, the outcome, my now, was worth it. Yesterday someone calls me up to say he had bad news for me, my mind went to - some...	likemyheart	8	471	Feb 7, 2014 by el-cee
	What's working today (Preview) It's been more peaceful. The best program tool I came up with is "I am not God!" (as if thats a new thought). I always thought I understood that saying "there is a God and I am not it." I didn't realize I was making myself into some kind of God of rehab or something. I was hold...	pinkchip	8	368	Feb 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Adult son recently home from Rehab and I suspect he is drinking again. (Preview) Things have not been good since my adult son got home from rehab. The plan is for him to get on his feet financially and move out in 2-3 months. We had been going in his room looking for evidence of him using and found questionable things. Our counselor says we are to back off so we have, but it is so hard. ...	Pamela1954	16	1224	Feb 7, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	One month since AM passed and it's only getting harder (Preview) I posted here nearly one month ago when my AM suddenly died in a tragic car accident after what we assume to be a night of binging. As I'm sure you all understand all too well, I was losing "my mom" for many years before that due to her disease. I have grieved the lost of the person I knew for so long...	Daughter	10	537	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Looking for ESH on insecurity (Preview) (ESH = Experience, Strength, and Hope) For reasons I don't really want to get into right now, I grew up to be an extremely insecure person. I am utterly terrified of people finding out anything about me that will make them not like me, of embarrassing myself in front of others with awkward behavior -- I o...	atheos	7	232	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Exciting :) (Preview) There has been a LOT going on all positive a little frustrating .. it's just going to be what it's going to be at this point. Got a ton of snow dumped our direction. LOL .. that was fun .. I'm pretty much over winter and the white stuff .. it can go away until next year sometime. I got the job!! I'm sooo exci...	SerenityRUS	9	321	Feb 6, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	The calm before the storm (Preview) I used to believe that I needed to be prepared for the worst always. I am learning a new way to prepare myself to be healthy and strong to deal with life's ups and downs instead. Gaining the confidence to maintain sanity through difficult times, and learning to enjoy the smallest of blessings every day....	Mari1978	11	640	Feb 6, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	still tredgin .. 4th step .. (Preview) Still kicking away .. Went to a meeting this week and heard someone choose a topic of courage; said the topic of fear was negative ? In all my years of alanon, I have never heard one share that I perceived as negative .. funny coming from me who I thought was the most negative person I knew .. through the yea...	MeTwo2	5	406	Feb 6, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Newbie.. sort of (Preview) Hi everyone.. I was a member here a couple of years ago, and foolish me thought I was ok.. that my DH would give up the drink. He did for about 6 month. Now its worse than ever. I use to attend face to face meetings too but stopped it as well. Now I realize that wasn't very smart of me at all. I do know that it's no...	jen_nipher	6	222	Feb 6, 2014 by Courage
	I don't know how to fix this. I don't know if I want to any more. (Preview) I'm pretty sure it's over. I made a pro/con list about staying married. The pros outweigh the cons, but not by much. I don't think we can give each other what we need any more. I don't think we even know what we need any more. I wish he were financially secure enough that I could just leave. I don't care...	SpiderArcana	19	688	Feb 6, 2014 by rehprof
	LIFE IS SHORT! (Preview) Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference. Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. ~Art Buchwald If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. ~Andrea Boydston I don't wan...	oldergal	7	498	Feb 6, 2014 by bud
	Alanon member and online tech (Preview) Can someone explain to me how to access the drafts saved of posts I write. Several times I have spent (or wasted) a large amount of time writing a post or message only to have it disappear because of something I've done in my clumsiness with my keyboard or the PM and whiteboard areas. There's a little me...	cwya	4	383	Feb 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Handling the crazy-making. (Preview) I do try to keep the focus on myself as much as possible these days. But I feel a little worn down after my time away with family (it was a challenge, as I explained) and now, as I went away for several days, ABF is in full crazy-making mode. As a punishment? It doesn't matter why. It matters that it is wearing...	Melly1248	26	823	Feb 6, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Yaaay :-) (Preview) I hadn't been back to a meeting since before Christmas. Meetings weren't on for a few weeks over the holidays, and the few I had attended prior had only 2 members and I've mentioned before, it was kinda repetetive so I'd only dragged myself to a few....well today I went to it ANYWAY and there were 8 people...	Melly1248	18	449	Feb 5, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Feb 5, Hope for Today Reading .. (Preview) Our shortest slogan, "Think," can be very helpful. However, as with most tools, I need to use it with care and reason. As I've heard it said around the Al-Anon rooms, my best thinking is what got me here. For me, thinking too much or in a negative way is almost as dangerous as not thinking at all...	MeTwo2	4	292	Feb 5, 2014 by hopes314
	My addiction (Preview) I think I might be addicted to Alanon. Is that possible? I only read Alanon literature, I dont read for pleasure anymore. lol Its on my mind from morning until night, I cant see life from any other eyes now so the world seems different to me. People seem transparent and in desperate need of the program to m...	el-cee	6	457	Feb 5, 2014 by el-cee
	" I Love You More" (Preview) Speaking of songs, Matthew Wests song, "I Love You More" I Swear was written just for my family! We Always say, "I Love You More than ALLLL the ................. in the whole world!" Or universe! The grandchildren know nothing else but this, and my Dad would always say, &quo...	Grace7	8	278	Feb 5, 2014 by bud
	taxed (Preview) I don't know where to share or to talk about some of my experiences at my job. I know they are affecting my sobriety, but they also relate to having to deal with alcoholics and addicts all day every day. This week was nuts. I am still at work for the 6th day in a row. Clients were insane (literally) today...	pinkchip	28	529	Feb 5, 2014 by stephaniej
	I need a place for all this anger. (Preview) I wish I could drive by a landfill and throw all my anger out. I know that landfill would be filled to the brim. My anger was so misguided yesterday. I seemed to be mad about everything in life. I definitely was not happy. Usually I can get mad and move on but this stuck to me. I know where the anger is from whi...	hopes314	17	547	Feb 5, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Talking tonight (Preview) I told my AH that (after an entire day of the silent treatment) I was going to my parent's house for a few days. He asked that I come home and we talk. I said fine. I know what's going to happen. He's going to promise to change, to stop drinking, to do anything I want, to change for me. And that's not enough...	SpiderArcana	21	663	Feb 5, 2014 by jillybean1
	A tribal custom for healing (Preview) Several years ago, I learned that a certain tribe in a small village in Africa would deal with the offenses of a villager by placing the offending person in a circle. The entire tribe would circle the person whose offenses were of grave concern to them. Then, each villager would take a turn telling th...	grateful2be	7	399	Feb 5, 2014 by MeTwo2
	Other people's defenses, Blanche and me (Preview) One of the things I've learned as a longtime program member of Al-Anon is how uncomfortable I can be over somebody else's denial. I have learned to let a person be where they are for the most part although sometimes I might slip up. I truly don't know what kind of harm I can do to another if I try to rip off t...	grateful2be	19	507	Feb 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	setting boundaries (Preview) On Monday I set a boundary with my husband.I no longer live at home I got my own apt. The last bill at our home with my name was the light bill. It was $200 and if he didnt pay by Monday it was going to be disconnected. He told me he could not pay it. So i told him to get a prepay electric company and switch it over to...	texasgal	16	339	Feb 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Powerful Song (Preview) This song grabbed me from the first line. To me, it describes so clearly the feelings of having to walk away from someone you love but they are so "numb" they seem not to understand or even care what they've done. After boo hooing through the Carrie Underwood song that someone posted earlier...	wornoutmrsfixit	2	249	Feb 5, 2014 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Surrender - Random thoughts on (Preview) After copious reading on Surrender I have come to believe that it is a step process, not a not there one moment and there the next. I have now come to believe that what I thought was my surrender was merely compliance. I was doing all the right things. But, until my conscious and unconscious linked...	Tricia911	6	1124	Feb 5, 2014 by Tricia911
	Needing advice-very new (Preview) This is my very first time on here or any other message board. I am at the end of my rope and just googled "I hate alcohol" and came to this site. I have never been to al-anon, but after reading some of these posts, I plan to now! Until then, I have a question for all of you pros. My adult daughter is a...	padodi	13	522	Feb 4, 2014 by maryjane
	Will Grief Abate and Probs it causes...I think? (Preview) Its been 2 months since Dad died. I sat down with the mounds of paper work, which I've been chipping away at. When I filed his poa, the tears came. I've spent so many years taking care of him, making sure he is provided for as age crept up and visited his mind. I worked ever so diligently to maintain his d...	Grace7	3	293	Feb 4, 2014 by Grace7
	apology accepted; reconciliation. (Preview) Time to move on after the apology from my mom is totally accepted. I think she is bringing me back into her world again. I am just so glad that I will probably be in the know from now on. She is still going to be in the doghouse if she pulls one of those again. I am so grateful for this program that I have so many fr...	Hoot Nanny	2	227	Feb 4, 2014 by hotrod
	Have you ever wondered... (Preview) ....how, way back in time those founders got this together. I mean this philosophy is based many different philosophies. I don't know them all but I have read quotes from Buddhism, Hinduism, Christianity, many ancient philosophers and general wise folks like Abraham Lincoln. What kind of educat...	el-cee	5	295	Feb 4, 2014 by ParisMemories
	work in progress! (Preview) I read that poster today by coincidence: 'I guess the moment everything changed was when I realized I deserved so much better.' and it just clicked. I hav spend the past 2 months away from A, and lived back in my 'original' environment. Many moments of peace came over me, as well as many moments of grie...	tortuga	7	393	Feb 4, 2014 by tortuga
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.