The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been more peaceful. The best program tool I came up with is "I am not God!" (as if thats a new thought). I always thought I understood that saying "there is a God and I am not it." I didn't realize I was making myself into some kind of God of rehab or something. I was holding myself way to personally responsible for the clients and their outcomes. AA tells me to be more responsible, but alanon reminds me to be responsible for just my part so I don't misspend energy and stop taking loving care of myself. I am not God and I'm not responsible for all these clients "getting it" or acting right 24/7 while they are in rehab. Phew.
That is my solution for today and it seems to be making me feel better. I never thought I'd have a mantra of "I am not God and I'm not responsible for all this" because coming into AA, I felt I was lower than dog crap and I knew I needed to start acting way more responsible. Balance.
I have heard it said that" Defects" are simply assets that have gone over the line. It appears that you have developed a fine sense of responsibilty and now all you need to do is pull it back and "Focus it on yourself" Another great alanon tool
It's great to know that there is a program that, even when we get stuck in a ditch, we have the tools to get out quickly instead of sitting there spinning our wheels for years!
I can only imagine. A's confined in one place and me running wild trying to find the perfect thing to do or say to fix everyone. I can see why it why it would be hard on your emotions and sobriety. I'm glad you found something that helps you keep your role in their recovery in perspective so that YOU can keep recovering yourself.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Peaceful is good...peace of mind and serenity are goals of this program. Mahalo for the "dog crap" metaphor. That brought up a session I had with my alcoholism counselor at the VA which led to my understanding of "feelings/emotions" what they were (inside reactions to outside events) and what they were not...things...dog crap...lol alot. (((hugs)))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Friday 7th of February 2014 12:23:42 AM
You definitely sound much more at peace. You say you have a solution for today, Alanon teaches us that's all we need. We can take it hour by hour, minute by minute when necessary. Besides hp, I've always found that friend in the workplace who I can call on to step in at moment's notice if a situation becomes too much and I do the same for them. I never have to do it alone. Between hp and others, a collective effort accomplishes what I could never do on my own. You've found something your passionate about, I hope you can make it work for your life if you continue to want this profession. Either way... our recovery comes with us wherever we go and into any work we choose. Best of luck to you. I hope your work continues to feel rewarding one day at a time. (((hugs))) TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
