Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I've been back with my alcoholic father for about 2 weeks now and it really feels like 2 years. He's a very draining man. Last night he brought home some woman and it's funny how all the winners always find each other......... I ne...

Truth · Truth

Well had my mediation session. I at least got the court order to read police enforced. I was going to tell Pink that I don't think he is using but he is reserving himself for a relapse I think.

He is dating a huge drinker. I also got the impression he is dating her because he is mad about the boundaries. I s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

!I am unsure how to communicate very well in a healthy dating relationship, but am trying hard to push through it. The exAH of course rarely wanted to hear about my feelings or if he hurt them of course, rub some dirt on it he would joke about a lot, only he meant it. I do not feel like I dig and bury them any lon...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I've been watching a series recently that has been a bit emotionally "stirring" because the main character both looks eerily like, and also behaves eerily like the A (in earlier days when he was more "irresistible, lovable rogue" and less "angry beard-covered crazy gu...

Pamela1954 · Pamela1954

After much denial we realized my son has relapsed and found the proof yesterday. He has one week to get out. We are not yelling and screaming, just told him that he must leave and he agrees. He is 33 years old. He once again used all of his money from work to buy drugs and alcohol. He got out of rehab in Ja...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Lessons in detachment - you may think you have all the answers, or can do anything, but that doesn't mean everyone else can. I cannot make his job better, I cannot give him self-confidence, I cannot find friends for him. I can, however, be supportive and continue to take care of myself. And he does te...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

SO why am I so used to a rollercoaster life if I've been detatched from AH? I want to reconstruct my psyche. My brain has gotten so used to the vicious cycle, and I want to find a way out. To be reborn without the effects....the trauma of experiences. I'm NOT a martyr as I chose to take part as a codependent...

neshema2 · neshema2

el-cee · el-cee

Okay, I spoke to my higher power and my sponsor and me and admitted quite a lot, not all of my shortcomings, due to time constraints really but it felt good to tell my higher power, in fact it was an emotional experience. I then spoke about want ing to be rid of my intolerance as I think it could be at the root...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

We went out with AH today after he got back from his business trip. Upon seeing me, he said to me in front of the kids "useless, go die, ...". I ignored him. When he had lunch with one of my kid and he kept asking her about the move and her daily schedule. He told her that it was my fault that things h...

lookingup · lookingup

I've got to make a dicision the ultimate division concerning my a b/f he lives here under my roof and I pay most all bills cause his work got slow but now it's picking up and I've just called him up and told him to get out of my house ,I found again on my internet where he has been talking with another woman but s...

milkwood · milkwood

I used to get a buzz from helping people if they had a problem. I think that it made me feel useful which I guess I thought meant valued and that was enough for me in the past. Now I feel a bit resentful about being put on a knife edge of 'can I pull this off or not'. I can't figure out if this new feeling is prog...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

Been avidly reading here for a while and just joined so I can start sharing. So much here I relate to. Thank you everyone for being here. A little about myself. I am an A, with about three years sober time under my belt. My hub remains an active A. We were 'drinking buddies' for several years until I qui...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I warned my AH about moving out maybe 3 times over the last 1 year before I moved out quietly a week ago (happy "weekversary"!). I am very thankful for God's timing because any earlier, it would contain "I will punish you for hurting me" element. I moved from I can fixed this (contr...

milkwood · milkwood

Well I'm stuck in a stuffy hotel room with a noisy air conditioner and jet lag so started feeling pretty sorry for myself and also feeling guilty because I'm in the tropics and I should be enjoying it. Anyway, this annual trip of mine is when AH used to indulge in his affair, so I guess I've got some resent...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

I attended Al-anon 11 years ago during the first outbreak of the disease. It was affecting my AH directly but sickening my children, my family and myself. From it I came to realization it is not me, nothing I can do except to seek help from my HP for healing. I was at the point of fearing violence from him. I...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

In yet another chapter of The Life of an Alcoholic: Stranger Than Fiction, the A gets sent on a real life mission impossible. He chose to accept it, so he will be driving the jeep to a large city 2 hours away, where he's only been twice, with me driving.... He is supposed to deliver an iPhone for a friend who...

cerika111 · cerika111

I have always gotten a lot of wisdom out of reading the boards, but there is nothing (for me) like face to face meetings. Anyhow, I have tried to go to several over the last few months and every time have ended up as the only attendee. Someone here mentioned the Preston Group, but I had the same result there...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Feeling sad - my AH has gone between the strength of sobriety and the defeat of drinking. Days, weeks, months of sobriety, even years. It started long ago in his teens - stopped when we married and then started up many years ago. Just when I think he may be sober, the demon surfaces. The demon of addi...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Am doing my best to keep up here! (c: If you need me please pm. I am healing from knee surgery, also still anorexic and nauseated from the blood clot therapy. ugh. So it can be hard to be on the computer. Then horribly my tiny four pound handful of love and friskiness died. He was Cuddy my little tiny chi/hav...

Sunrise · Sunrise

Hi, everybody! Lately I've seen some of you posting the phrase "feelings are feelings". I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of that. What is the big-picture goal of that saying? Thanks!

sadsusie · sadsusie

My AH relapsed yet again. He is full of guilt and regret and is in that hamster wheel of trying to make up for his mistakes through "achievements". I suggested to him that He is chasing his tail. He has yet to go to a meeting. He likes to think that he is too complicated and different from everyon...

texasgal · texasgal

I've had a bad week with work and personal life. My doorbell rang several times with no one at the door I finally called cops and made a report. My soon to be exah was violent and I did it for my own protection. My soon to be exAH has been posting pics of him and his young gf and saying how much she makes him smile...

Tigger · Tigger

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Letting our A make their own mistakes; Acting as if; Enjoying what is beautiful The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat c...

Katy · Katy

I really do struggle with life and people sometimes, the things people do and say, I rarely ask for anything from anyone but thats because right now I have never really had too, hubby said he would collect me the other night from a night out, but when I phoned to say I was ready I got no reply, after many atte...

Gaby · Gaby

Well I woke up late.. Yes depression kicked in at 4 am stayed up until 530 alarm goes off and called into work and said I'll be in at 10. I didn't go back to sleep.. Uggg All I thought about was my son !! What can he be doing? Where can he be? Is he ok? Is he safe? Is he dead or alive? That's when I jumped up got in the s...

el-cee · el-cee

Alanon family group. I thought that meant it helped families of alcoholics which of course it does but it also means its a group of people who are like a family. In my meeting tonight an old timer shared about her a child and they are in a bad way, she was upset and it kind of hit me that I really care for her and...

Gaby · Gaby

My son has not made no contact with me .. Yes he ecknowledged Mother's Day and sent me a private message through Facebook. I have made my days better and remind myself that these are his choices he is making. I have no control of him nor do I want it. I always thought I would have control of any of his outcomes...

Katy · Katy

I often find myself feeling guilty because I have unwittingly become the victim of someone elses bad behaviours, I have always put this down to myself not being strong enough or the other person being way too strong and clever, but today I think it has nothing to do with me really it's of my allowing some...

Mattie · Mattie

Thank you all in advance for letting me vent more. It's clear to me that I'm in over my head right now with everything. This realization that my ex-AH isn't reliable for even the little things is just the stress on top of it all. Our son is high-needs and as he gets older, it gets more challenging. I thin...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi-I am having an experience this week that reminds me of the insanity that can exist with alcoholic, dysfunctional family members. I am in the middle of trying to coordinate a group of my family getting to see my 91 yr old mother, probably for the last time. It's too long to explain the entire situati...

el-cee · el-cee

Thats me. I have a tendency to become obsessive about anything really. Sometimes its a good thing, it helped me get my degree and my career, you should have seen me before my driving test, i hardly slept for three days before because i was reading and studying up on it. I am a fast learner because if this sw...

neshema2 · neshema2

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I brought a friend that I thought could use some al-anon, which always makes me happy to share this program with a newcomer, but it got even better. My sponsors husband was there and he told me how great my letter and card were and that I should come and visit her tomorrow. So Thursday I am going to the nurs...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

A long-time friend of AA, Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, clarified brilliantly the difference between submission and the surrender idea which is implied in Step One of the Twelve Steps. In submission, he said, an individual accepts reality consciously but not unconsciously. He accepts as a practical fact...

Truth · Truth

Well after four years of complete and under chaos. I finally feel free. The ex-A has emailed however has not once shown up at my home, since the last incident. He has texted, but has not not texted once since my boundary. Today is pure peaceful bliss.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Happy Mother's Day All I had a internet visit with my son this afternoon and he told me he will be sentenced on June 9th. So anyways we continued to chat then it came..... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM....I LOVE YOU AND SORRY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU. I told him thank you and it was the best gift he could have gotten me ju...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) TOPICS: My life is unmanageable when I.... Serenity is attainable when I.... Sponsorship is.... The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other ch...

Somesay4 · Somesay4

He drinks a 750 bottle of whiskey or vodka in 2 days. Probably 2 bottles a week. Switches between that an a a 12 pack of beer he finishes in 2 days. It's not everyday. Every week is different but it's most days. I can't stand the way he is when he is drunk. He is either mean or overly affectionate. Am I wron...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hi all. My RAH has been home a week now. He's going about his own recovery and that is good. I had a weekend away with the kids planned for Mother's Day.......long before I knew he was coming home. So we left and I gave him instruction on how to care for the animals.....including our new Lionhead bunny...

Jerry F · Jerry F

To all the Al-Anon and MIP women in my life who have re-parented me and taught me to get in touch with my "female side" LOL... Imagine how I handled that one at the first suggestion. "Should I get my shots before doing that and exactly what step does that come under". LOL ...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

MAY 13 What finally impels the spouse of an alcoholic to look for help in Al-Anon? One large factor is the need for reassurance, to know that were not responsible for the alcoholics drinking. We know we are being torn down, usually by the drinkers own guilt and self-reproach. This has left us without a s...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Have been really out of sorts the last few days- just...dropping things, fuzzy thinking, arguing instead of walking away and then getting upset about it...you know how it goes. Today I had a driving lesson and asked the A to drop me off on his way to work (my instructor and I meet in town so I can practice c...

Mattie · Mattie

I went on a very short business trip and my ex-AH took care of our son while I was gone. Now my ex-AH is a binge drinker who goes for long spells without drinking, so I had a reasonable expectation that there'd be no bingeing while I was gone. I saw no sign that there was, so I think my expectations were reas...

Sunrise · Sunrise

Some days I really feel like I'm making progress in this program. Then there is today. My stress and emotions got way too high. My al-anon knowledge didn't provide enough to bring me anywhere close to serenity. I bawled my way through my face-to-face meeting tonight. And then, after sharing at th...

tortuga · tortuga

sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...

Desirae · Desirae

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...

mm830 · mm830

Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!

Truth · Truth

I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you

Tool1248 · Tool1248

Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...

Fifi · Fifi

I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...

Angrywife · Angrywife

Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...

grateful2be · grateful2be

On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	2 weeks feels like 2 years. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I've been back with my alcoholic father for about 2 weeks now and it really feels like 2 years. He's a very draining man. Last night he brought home some woman and it's funny how all the winners always find each other......... I ne...	slogan_jim	5	642	May 17, 2014 by RoseODAT
	Woot woot (Preview) Well had my mediation session. I at least got the court order to read police enforced. I was going to tell Pink that I don't think he is using but he is reserving himself for a relapse I think. He is dating a huge drinker. I also got the impression he is dating her because he is mad about the boundaries. I s...	Truth	4	269	May 17, 2014 by Truth
	Communication is NOT easy for me and I suck at it really! (Preview) !I am unsure how to communicate very well in a healthy dating relationship, but am trying hard to push through it. The exAH of course rarely wanted to hear about my feelings or if he hurt them of course, rub some dirt on it he would joke about a lot, only he meant it. I do not feel like I dig and bury them any lon...	Breakingfree	16	553	May 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Finally OK with me. (Preview) I've been watching a series recently that has been a bit emotionally "stirring" because the main character both looks eerily like, and also behaves eerily like the A (in earlier days when he was more "irresistible, lovable rogue" and less "angry beard-covered crazy gu...	Melly1248	2	382	May 17, 2014 by el-cee
	Tough Week Ahead (Preview) After much denial we realized my son has relapsed and found the proof yesterday. He has one week to get out. We are not yelling and screaming, just told him that he must leave and he agrees. He is 33 years old. He once again used all of his money from work to buy drugs and alcohol. He got out of rehab in Ja...	Pamela1954	2	296	May 17, 2014 by Mattie
	I cannot fix him (Preview) Lessons in detachment - you may think you have all the answers, or can do anything, but that doesn't mean everyone else can. I cannot make his job better, I cannot give him self-confidence, I cannot find friends for him. I can, however, be supportive and continue to take care of myself. And he does te...	SpiderArcana	4	380	May 17, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Reconstructing My life & Keeping it simple (Preview) SO why am I so used to a rollercoaster life if I've been detatched from AH? I want to reconstruct my psyche. My brain has gotten so used to the vicious cycle, and I want to find a way out. To be reborn without the effects....the trauma of experiences. I'm NOT a martyr as I chose to take part as a codependent...	RoseODAT	5	752	May 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	its starting to sink in (Preview)	neshema2	7	475	May 17, 2014 by neshema2
	next!! (Preview) Okay, I spoke to my higher power and my sponsor and me and admitted quite a lot, not all of my shortcomings, due to time constraints really but it felt good to tell my higher power, in fact it was an emotional experience. I then spoke about want ing to be rid of my intolerance as I think it could be at the root...	el-cee	11	525	May 17, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sad day (Preview) We went out with AH today after he got back from his business trip. Upon seeing me, he said to me in front of the kids "useless, go die, ...". I ignored him. When he had lunch with one of my kid and he kept asking her about the move and her daily schedule. He told her that it was my fault that things h...	sunshine23	3	284	May 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Distressed and feeling crazy! (Preview) I've got to make a dicision the ultimate division concerning my a b/f he lives here under my roof and I pay most all bills cause his work got slow but now it's picking up and I've just called him up and told him to get out of my house ,I found again on my internet where he has been talking with another woman but s...	lookingup	4	599	May 17, 2014 by Mattie
	Helping out (Preview) I used to get a buzz from helping people if they had a problem. I think that it made me feel useful which I guess I thought meant valued and that was enough for me in the past. Now I feel a bit resentful about being put on a knife edge of 'can I pull this off or not'. I can't figure out if this new feeling is prog...	milkwood	8	472	May 17, 2014 by el-cee
	Grateful to be here (Preview) Been avidly reading here for a while and just joined so I can start sharing. So much here I relate to. Thank you everyone for being here. A little about myself. I am an A, with about three years sober time under my belt. My hub remains an active A. We were 'drinking buddies' for several years until I qui...	SunshineGirl	6	399	May 17, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Is it all about control? (Preview) I warned my AH about moving out maybe 3 times over the last 1 year before I moved out quietly a week ago (happy "weekversary"!). I am very thankful for God's timing because any earlier, it would contain "I will punish you for hurting me" element. I moved from I can fixed this (contr...	sunshine23	10	680	May 17, 2014 by sunshine23
	you know who you are... (Preview) Well I'm stuck in a stuffy hotel room with a noisy air conditioner and jet lag so started feeling pretty sorry for myself and also feeling guilty because I'm in the tropics and I should be enjoying it. Anyway, this annual trip of mine is when AH used to indulge in his affair, so I guess I've got some resent...	milkwood	17	535	May 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Ups and downs (Preview) I attended Al-anon 11 years ago during the first outbreak of the disease. It was affecting my AH directly but sickening my children, my family and myself. From it I came to realization it is not me, nothing I can do except to seek help from my HP for healing. I was at the point of fearing violence from him. I...	sunshine23	5	574	May 16, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	HP has a plan (Preview) In yet another chapter of The Life of an Alcoholic: Stranger Than Fiction, the A gets sent on a real life mission impossible. He chose to accept it, so he will be driving the jeep to a large city 2 hours away, where he's only been twice, with me driving.... He is supposed to deliver an iPhone for a friend who...	Raven Juniper	5	361	May 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	Dallas area meetings (Preview) I have always gotten a lot of wisdom out of reading the boards, but there is nothing (for me) like face to face meetings. Anyhow, I have tried to go to several over the last few months and every time have ended up as the only attendee. Someone here mentioned the Preston Group, but I had the same result there...	cerika111	3	4954	May 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	Between sobriety episodes (Preview) Feeling sad - my AH has gone between the strength of sobriety and the defeat of drinking. Days, weeks, months of sobriety, even years. It started long ago in his teens - stopped when we married and then started up many years ago. Just when I think he may be sober, the demon surfaces. The demon of addi...	wifeofalcoholic	4	542	May 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	update (Preview) Am doing my best to keep up here! (c: If you need me please pm. I am healing from knee surgery, also still anorexic and nauseated from the blood clot therapy. ugh. So it can be hard to be on the computer. Then horribly my tiny four pound handful of love and friskiness died. He was Cuddy my little tiny chi/hav...	Debilyn	13	648	May 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	Feelings are feelings - please help me understand (Preview) Hi, everybody! Lately I've seen some of you posting the phrase "feelings are feelings". I'm not sure I understand the full meaning of that. What is the big-picture goal of that saying? Thanks!	Sunrise	11	554	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I can't "rush" his progress, but I am tired of waiting (Preview) My AH relapsed yet again. He is full of guilt and regret and is in that hamster wheel of trying to make up for his mistakes through "achievements". I suggested to him that He is chasing his tail. He has yet to go to a meeting. He likes to think that he is too complicated and different from everyon...	sadsusie	9	1197	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	feelings (Preview) I've had a bad week with work and personal life. My doorbell rang several times with no one at the door I finally called cops and made a report. My soon to be exah was violent and I did it for my own protection. My soon to be exAH has been posting pics of him and his young gf and saying how much she makes him smile...	texasgal	4	495	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	FRIDAY MORNING MEETING 9AM (EST) - TOPICS: LETTING OUR A MAKE OWN MISTAKES; ACTING AS IF; ENJOYING WHAT IS BEAUTiFUL (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Letting our A make their own mistakes; Acting as if; Enjoying what is beautiful The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat c...	Tigger	0	330	May 16, 2014 by Tigger
	I can't, always get it right! (Preview) I really do struggle with life and people sometimes, the things people do and say, I rarely ask for anything from anyone but thats because right now I have never really had too, hubby said he would collect me the other night from a night out, but when I phoned to say I was ready I got no reply, after many atte...	Katy	3	431	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My Day.. (Preview) Well I woke up late.. Yes depression kicked in at 4 am stayed up until 530 alarm goes off and called into work and said I'll be in at 10. I didn't go back to sleep.. Uggg All I thought about was my son !! What can he be doing? Where can he be? Is he ok? Is he safe? Is he dead or alive? That's when I jumped up got in the s...	Gaby	4	406	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	family (Preview) Alanon family group. I thought that meant it helped families of alcoholics which of course it does but it also means its a group of people who are like a family. In my meeting tonight an old timer shared about her a child and they are in a bad way, she was upset and it kind of hit me that I really care for her and...	el-cee	7	418	May 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Heart breaking... (Preview) My son has not made no contact with me .. Yes he ecknowledged Mother's Day and sent me a private message through Facebook. I have made my days better and remind myself that these are his choices he is making. I have no control of him nor do I want it. I always thought I would have control of any of his outcomes...	Gaby	8	384	May 15, 2014 by cerika111
	guilt! (Preview) I often find myself feeling guilty because I have unwittingly become the victim of someone elses bad behaviours, I have always put this down to myself not being strong enough or the other person being way too strong and clever, but today I think it has nothing to do with me really it's of my allowing some...	Katy	1	333	May 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	More venting (Preview) Thank you all in advance for letting me vent more. It's clear to me that I'm in over my head right now with everything. This realization that my ex-AH isn't reliable for even the little things is just the stress on top of it all. Our son is high-needs and as he gets older, it gets more challenging. I thin...	Mattie	15	672	May 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	re-visiting insanity (Preview) Hi-I am having an experience this week that reminds me of the insanity that can exist with alcoholic, dysfunctional family members. I am in the middle of trying to coordinate a group of my family getting to see my 91 yr old mother, probably for the last time. It's too long to explain the entire situati...	Lyne	4	465	May 15, 2014 by milkwood
	obsessive compulsive alanoner (Preview) Thats me. I have a tendency to become obsessive about anything really. Sometimes its a good thing, it helped me get my degree and my career, you should have seen me before my driving test, i hardly slept for three days before because i was reading and studying up on it. I am a fast learner because if this sw...	el-cee	15	566	May 15, 2014 by Katy
	thought this was cool---short and spot on (Preview)	neshema2	4	380	May 14, 2014 by PP
	At my meeting last night..... (Preview) I brought a friend that I thought could use some al-anon, which always makes me happy to share this program with a newcomer, but it got even better. My sponsors husband was there and he told me how great my letter and card were and that I should come and visit her tomorrow. So Thursday I am going to the nurs...	Breakingfree	7	544	May 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	One Day At A Time - May 14 (Preview) A long-time friend of AA, Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, clarified brilliantly the difference between submission and the surrender idea which is implied in Step One of the Twelve Steps. In submission, he said, an individual accepts reality consciously but not unconsciously. He accepts as a practical fact...	WorkingThroughIt	7	316	May 14, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	I'm back....:-) (Preview) Well after four years of complete and under chaos. I finally feel free. The ex-A has emailed however has not once shown up at my home, since the last incident. He has texted, but has not not texted once since my boundary. Today is pure peaceful bliss.	Truth	7	316	May 14, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Video Chat (Preview) Happy Mother's Day All I had a internet visit with my son this afternoon and he told me he will be sentenced on June 9th. So anyways we continued to chat then it came..... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM....I LOVE YOU AND SORRY I CAN'T BE WITH YOU. I told him thank you and it was the best gift he could have gotten me ju...	Cathyinaz	11	440	May 14, 2014 by neshema2
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9AM (EST) TOPICS: My life is unmanageable when I.... Serenity is attainable when I.... Sponsorship is.... The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other ch...	shimo	0	235	May 14, 2014 by shimo
	Please help. I feel my husband is a alcoholic. (Preview) He drinks a 750 bottle of whiskey or vodka in 2 days. Probably 2 bottles a week. Switches between that an a a 12 pack of beer he finishes in 2 days. It's not everyday. Every week is different but it's most days. I can't stand the way he is when he is drunk. He is either mean or overly affectionate. Am I wron...	Somesay4	6	450	May 14, 2014 by Debilyn
	chuggin along doin' that one day at a time (Preview) Hi all. My RAH has been home a week now. He's going about his own recovery and that is good. I had a weekend away with the kids planned for Mother's Day.......long before I knew he was coming home. So we left and I gave him instruction on how to care for the animals.....including our new Lionhead bunny...	jillybean1	5	383	May 13, 2014 by PP
	Happy Mothers" Day (Preview) To all the Al-Anon and MIP women in my life who have re-parented me and taught me to get in touch with my "female side" LOL... Imagine how I handled that one at the first suggestion. "Should I get my shots before doing that and exactly what step does that come under". LOL ...	Jerry F	10	665	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	One Day At A Time - May 13 (Preview) MAY 13 What finally impels the spouse of an alcoholic to look for help in Al-Anon? One large factor is the need for reassurance, to know that were not responsible for the alcoholics drinking. We know we are being torn down, usually by the drinkers own guilt and self-reproach. This has left us without a s...	WorkingThroughIt	3	401	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Magic! (Preview) Have been really out of sorts the last few days- just...dropping things, fuzzy thinking, arguing instead of walking away and then getting upset about it...you know how it goes. Today I had a driving lesson and asked the A to drop me off on his way to work (my instructor and I meet in town so I can practice c...	Melly1248	14	674	May 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Managing the Chaos (Preview) I went on a very short business trip and my ex-AH took care of our son while I was gone. Now my ex-AH is a binge drinker who goes for long spells without drinking, so I had a reasonable expectation that there'd be no bingeing while I was gone. I saw no sign that there was, so I think my expectations were reas...	Mattie	8	715	May 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	one step forward, two steps back (Preview) Some days I really feel like I'm making progress in this program. Then there is today. My stress and emotions got way too high. My al-anon knowledge didn't provide enough to bring me anywhere close to serenity. I bawled my way through my face-to-face meeting tonight. And then, after sharing at th...	Sunrise	5	474	May 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	in retrospective-mixed feelings... (Preview) sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...	tortuga	3	421	May 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	TUESDAY MEETING 9AM (EST) – TOPICS: PROBLEM SOLVING; 1ST THINGS 1ST; CHANGING WHAT I CAN (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...	Desirae	0	331	May 13, 2014 by Desirae
	Unsure and yet I know .. (Preview) or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...	SerenityRUS	2	727	May 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Phone Calls from the Alternate Universe (Preview) Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...	mm830	7	356	May 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making a list (Preview) I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...	ilovedogs	12	680	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Aha moment (Preview) Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...	Kerrymom	7	649	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	tired but content (Preview) Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!	Hoot Nanny	1	325	May 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Set a boundary follow through.... (Preview) I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.	Truth	7	450	May 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Mother's Day update :) (Preview) The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...	SerenityRUS	5	399	May 12, 2014 by el-cee
	My Kitty Ruby (Preview) I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you	Cathyinaz	17	667	May 12, 2014 by Ingwe
	When it is time to leave, how to proceed? (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...	Tool1248	8	625	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feel so down (Preview) I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...	Fifi	5	374	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Did anyone else have a difficult mothers day? (Preview) Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...	Angrywife	10	557	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Beneath the role of Mother is a person (Preview) On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...	grateful2be	11	529	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Mothers Day Expectations (Preview) Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...	Melly1248	6	534	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.