Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tortuga · tortuga

sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...

Desirae · Desirae

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...

mm830 · mm830

Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!

Truth · Truth

I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you

Tool1248 · Tool1248

Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...

Fifi · Fifi

I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...

Angrywife · Angrywife

Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...

grateful2be · grateful2be

On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...

Reeny · Reeny

Hello everyone, I am new to this site and would like to say "hello", as well as ask a question. I am finding myself a bit confused on the difference between al-anon and coda.When I was first introduced to al-anon many years ago, we were co-dependents, now it seems that is a totally separate p...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello MIP family, I am in recovery, working my program , each day at a timesometimes i progress, sometimes I regress. I am learning that this too is normal process. What I mostly am in recovery is curious. And so I keep an open mind and look for new things to learn, always with a 'why not' in my head. Every...

ct1203 · ct1203

My son's birthday is this week and he wanted to go to the movies today. We had actually planned to take him for months when he found out about that the new Spiderman was being released close to his b'day. I had told my son that he could invited a couple of friends along but he replied no I wants us 4 (me, him,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't know where I am going with this post .. it really has been a rough week .. just emotionally .. I'm so overly hormonal at the moment anyway and it just seems like everything is hitting at once .. it's completely going to be fine .. it means no procrastinating on my part and I still struggle with this c...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I'm struggling today. I heard from one of my 3 adult children who live an hour and a half away. They went out to brunch with their father and stepmother. My middle son, who texted me has always been close. My daughter has estranged herself from me since she was about 15. My oldest son had cleaned himself up...

el-cee · el-cee

Its time to take my recovery forward, time to get rid of one maybe two of my shortcomings, im not sure how it works yet, one at a time or do one get one free. Oh well, it doesnt matter. What matters is I stop procrastinating and being distracted by life and get back inside my head and do the work. Im still on st...

Tigger · Tigger

Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Honeaty Trust Open mindedness The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Yesterday for work I drove a bus to where my mommy lives and got picked up for lunch and some shopping until time to go back to work, was great. We had a good lunch at a new place (my sister's ongoing New Year's resolution (3 years running) is to try a different place every month, very cool concept and she dis...

hotrod · hotrod

The quote below from"Say Yes to Life" confirms my experience with working the Steps of this priceless program Because we are willing to work this program we are all WINNERSI produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and everyone - my parents, the job, my health...

moleinahole · moleinahole

Taken a lot of courage to come on here and tell my story. It is such a long one that I think I will keep it short in case I bore anyone. lol. I am a mum to a 3 year old and am 6 months pregnant. Our marriage is in a terrible mess and after 3 or 4 times of nearly leaving this is the last time I contemplate it and back out....

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Love and respect to you this weekend and always... I know holidays can be difficult and heart wrenching for many of us. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to the MIP family!

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...

texasgal · texasgal

I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...

pinkchip · pinkchip

He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...

Fifi · Fifi

I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...

Ingwe · Ingwe

I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...

ladydiva0399 · ladydiva0399

My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...

Truth · Truth

I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...

tortuga · tortuga

hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...

Truth · Truth

My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...

Jerry F · Jerry F

to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...

mynewlife · mynewlife

I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...

bubba · bubba

Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...

Gaby · Gaby

Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/

Marina0719 · Marina0719

Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...

afglin · afglin

When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...

Sunrise · Sunrise

I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!

karen18 · karen18

I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.

sadsusie · sadsusie

Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	in retrospective-mixed feelings... (Preview) sometimes I am suck back into the should have/could have/would have -thinking. It's not a good place to put myself into. That's why I can only say, it's super important in recovery to write a journal, write down the facts. It will help in moments like those, when we are confused, or got our views distort...	tortuga	3	320	May 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	TUESDAY MEETING 9AM (EST) – TOPICS: PROBLEM SOLVING; 1ST THINGS 1ST; CHANGING WHAT I CAN (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room at 9:00AM Eastern Standard Time Current Meeting Schedule: Group Business Meeting held in this room on The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting. ~ (Morning Meetings) Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time & Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern...	Desirae	0	243	May 13, 2014 by Desirae
	Unsure and yet I know .. (Preview) or at least speculate is a better way to say it .. I'm just relying on my intuition and doing what is best for me at this point. If he's really not drinking .. truly .. I feel REALLY sorry for him .. I think I would want to end it all than be stuck thinking the way he does and not be drunk. I would be in a mental war...	SerenityRUS	2	620	May 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Phone Calls from the Alternate Universe (Preview) Spending some time reflecting, praying, trying to hear HP and not use prayer for my own will but prayer for HP to guide me has given me some nice gifts. A called and came over after bailing out on me again to get drunk. I asked him to leave. He gave dramatic speech is this is how it ends. I said yes. He asked me n...	mm830	7	273	May 13, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making a list (Preview) I sat down and made a list: a list stating why I have separated myself from my AH. I was starting to feel guilty because he's been above and beyond normal these past 2 days (birthday and mother's day) and I was feeling guilty because all I see is manipulation and future pain when I look at him. I resent his...	ilovedogs	12	579	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Aha moment (Preview) Yesterday AH was HAPPY! It was really out of the ordinary and I started to wonder why, it was just mid-morning. Decided to just let it be and continue on. fast forward couple hours, falling "asleep" at lunch claiming it was the baby that kept him up and was tired, awhile later I went into garag...	Kerrymom	7	563	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	tired but content (Preview) Things are going well w/ my sisters. They are visiting but my mom on the other hand...more later!	Hoot Nanny	1	241	May 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Set a boundary follow through.... (Preview) I told my ex-A that "if he texted me about anything other than arrangements for my son, I would block him" Today, he thought bc he was being nice he could text. I blocked him.	Truth	7	362	May 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Mother's Day update :) (Preview) The kids went and visited with their dad .. my poor daughter had a major panic attack during the visitation .. she's very over his behavior. She hasn't had a panic attack for months and he is a definite trigger for her. Thankfully she has a therapy appointment tomorrow. We have all hit a false sense of...	SerenityRUS	5	316	May 12, 2014 by el-cee
	My Kitty Ruby (Preview) I lost my Ruby this morning. She had kidney failure and she wasn't going to get well. I had to have her put down. I'm so sad but I did have 10 good years of love with her. Rest in peace Ruby...I love you	Cathyinaz	17	585	May 12, 2014 by Ingwe
	When it is time to leave, how to proceed? (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post in several years. A little history... I married my wife in 2001. She has always battled alcoholism. About 3 years ago, the longest and most difficult battle arose. It lasted a year and a half. During that time, she lost her job, was hospitalized twice and arrested twice, o...	Tool1248	8	523	May 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Feel so down (Preview) I think I remember that when I feel so down it is time to do something for me.... but it feels so far from possible today. Adolescent daughters and my work as a nurse and a sober BF who feels a million miles away. Everything weighs on me. So many struggles. I know there is a brighter day ahead, but it sure is ha...	Fifi	5	277	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Did anyone else have a difficult mothers day? (Preview) Hello, This is my first post and i apologise in advance for any major mistakes... We had a baby girl last year. I was really looking forward to my role as a mother being acknowledged in even some tiny way (a home made card, a cooked meal, some flowers picked from the garden etc.) - nothing expensive, extra...	Angrywife	10	476	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Beneath the role of Mother is a person (Preview) On yet another Mother's Day, I remember that: I was a girl child who loved to make clover rings, bake mud pies in the sunlight, stick my teddy behind a door with a corn pop in his rubber mouth waiting for him to magically eat it when I wasn't looking, stand in closets that I pretended were elevators that I o...	grateful2be	11	433	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Mothers Day Expectations (Preview) Well, I was very determined to have an amazing day, just my girl and I. I had such wonderful plans! But daughter has been sick all week and is fed up with coughing and being stuck at home with me and being bored. She's not in the best of moods. (To put it mildly). So the reality of today was- dragging a sullen c...	Melly1248	6	445	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Al-Anon or CODA? (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new to this site and would like to say "hello", as well as ask a question. I am finding myself a bit confused on the difference between al-anon and coda.When I was first introduced to al-anon many years ago, we were co-dependents, now it seems that is a totally separate p...	Reeny	11	1524	May 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	a little red nose that can change everything... (Preview) Hello MIP family, I am in recovery, working my program , each day at a timesometimes i progress, sometimes I regress. I am learning that this too is normal process. What I mostly am in recovery is curious. And so I keep an open mind and look for new things to learn, always with a 'why not' in my head. Every...	tortuga	2	337	May 12, 2014 by milkwood
	Birthday Fun (Preview) My son's birthday is this week and he wanted to go to the movies today. We had actually planned to take him for months when he found out about that the new Spiderman was being released close to his b'day. I had told my son that he could invited a couple of friends along but he replied no I wants us 4 (me, him,...	ct1203	2	338	May 11, 2014 by Sunrise
	Fear, control and the cha-cha .. (Preview) I don't know where I am going with this post .. it really has been a rough week .. just emotionally .. I'm so overly hormonal at the moment anyway and it just seems like everything is hitting at once .. it's completely going to be fine .. it means no procrastinating on my part and I still struggle with this c...	SerenityRUS	7	626	May 11, 2014 by Truth
	I know better, but still (Preview) I'm struggling today. I heard from one of my 3 adult children who live an hour and a half away. They went out to brunch with their father and stepmother. My middle son, who texted me has always been close. My daughter has estranged herself from me since she was about 15. My oldest son had cleaned himself up...	Raven Juniper	6	314	May 11, 2014 by Sunrise
	progressing (Preview) Its time to take my recovery forward, time to get rid of one maybe two of my shortcomings, im not sure how it works yet, one at a time or do one get one free. Oh well, it doesnt matter. What matters is I stop procrastinating and being distracted by life and get back inside my head and do the work. Im still on st...	el-cee	6	232	May 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	SUNDAY NIGHT MEETING 7PM (EST) - TOPICS: HONEsTY; TRUST; OPEN MInDEDNESS (Preview) Meeting scheduled in the Al-anon chat room. TOPICS: Honeaty Trust Open mindedness The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4...	Tigger	0	148	May 11, 2014 by Tigger
	Mother's Day (Preview) Yesterday for work I drove a bus to where my mommy lives and got picked up for lunch and some shopping until time to go back to work, was great. We had a good lunch at a new place (my sister's ongoing New Year's resolution (3 years running) is to try a different place every month, very cool concept and she dis...	likemyheart	4	316	May 11, 2014 by Raven Juniper
	My Meditation for the day (Preview) The quote below from"Say Yes to Life" confirms my experience with working the Steps of this priceless program Because we are willing to work this program we are all WINNERSI produced the failure in my life. For years I would blame everything and everyone - my parents, the job, my health...	hotrod	5	296	May 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Please help. Should I leave him before or after the baby is born? :-( (Preview) Taken a lot of courage to come on here and tell my story. It is such a long one that I think I will keep it short in case I bore anyone. lol. I am a mum to a 3 year old and am 6 months pregnant. Our marriage is in a terrible mess and after 3 or 4 times of nearly leaving this is the last time I contemplate it and back out....	moleinahole	15	382	May 11, 2014 by likemyheart
	Mothers' Day Wishes (Preview) Love and respect to you this weekend and always... I know holidays can be difficult and heart wrenching for many of us. Lots of (((((hugs))))) to the MIP family!	Raven Juniper	4	187	May 11, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	If You Give a Pig a Pancake... (Preview) He will want some syrup to go with it. If you give him some syrup, he will want a napkin to wipe his mouth. And so on and so on. This is a great children's book that describes what I have experienced this last week. But my story involves accepting a dinner invitation with my AH. My daughter and I went out to ea...	Newlife girl	8	509	May 11, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	domestic violence (Preview) I was a victim of domestic violence for many years. I was beaten at various times throughout my marriage. I am now separated from my soon to be ExAH. I have been able to heal or so I thought. The other day the doorbell rang I wasn't expecting anyone and I panicked. When I went to door it was a man selling newsp...	texasgal	12	1153	May 11, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Perspective is huge! (Preview) You know when I look back at how things were between my exAH and I, it really used to bother me that I let so much go and didn't know any better. We got together when I was 17, that is only a year older than my oldest daughter. I came from abuse and dysfunction and had learned at a young age to walk on eggshells...	Breakingfree	10	444	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Partner's father died (Preview) He was 72 and an alcoholic. He latched on to a little bit of AA towards the end (in the last 3 years or so). His quality of sobriety was questionable because of being so doped up on meds that it still seemed like he was drunk much of the time and he half-assed it with no step work so he still flipped out period...	pinkchip	15	477	May 10, 2014 by el-cee
	Back years later. (Preview) I started posting and reading here years ago. I got so much help wisdom and gained strength. I left my alcoholic BF. Now I have another. he does not drink, but is not living an active recovery life. I feel sad and lonely and resentful a lot. I know it is time to work on ME. Thanks for still evening here.	Fifi	7	403	May 10, 2014 by Fifi
	Reading my message from HP (Preview) Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure it out by yourself. Sometimes will and strength and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on HP. HP will be there.	Cathyinaz	6	256	May 10, 2014 by oldergal
	When you talk about adult sons.. (Preview) I don't know if this is disrespectful or hurtful to say, but, I so truly don't mean it to be. I mean it to be thankful. When I see some of you ladies talking here about your adult A sons it helps me to realise that my A's painful saga was going on long before I met him, and, it's probably going to go on long after I...	Melly1248	10	506	May 10, 2014 by Jill
	the "shame" of being in recovery (Preview) I am the only one in my immediate sibling family who got into alanon and addressed the damage that alcoholic and dysfunctional/abusive families can do to a child....I am thriving in recovery and now help others to heal...I am the one who turned the evil and darkness into something positive and healin...	neshema2	21	592	May 10, 2014 by neshema2
	I did it .. (Preview) I have been on this roller coaster since 2004 with my AH son. Three years ago he was in rehab for a month and his girlfriend stood by him. After learning all about co-dependency, I believe she has been co-dependent on him since then. She had great hopes and dreams and has finally had enough. Things ha...	Ingwe	7	383	May 10, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	codependency and obession/Newcomer (Preview) My name is Deborah and I am a alcoholic/ addict in recovery. It was suggested for me to come to Alanon. Even though in recovery I really have an issue with being so obsessed with others, mostly my husband who has almost 9 years and I have 15 years. I am aware that I need to detach from my husband moves especia...	ladydiva0399	6	563	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	ESH on liability, anyone? (Preview) I have a share...and if you make it through reading this, I have a question at the end...LOL! Last night was a close call and I don't want to go through any more nights worrying about what the A is going to do. This past week I had decided to take the financial loss and let the A take the Jeep and all the tools I'...	Raven Juniper	8	577	May 9, 2014 by Beatrice
	Feeling Sad (Preview) I just went on the website that promotes the program we went through for parenting. I read the "success" story. It is my literally. I am really sad because I realized the very program that was "suppose" to help us was the program that got me to let go of my boundaries and the abuse st...	Truth	1	215	May 9, 2014 by Truth
	need help (Preview) hello, am currently going to huge mood swings, from courage one second to feelings of despair in the next. I can't see my life unfold, am having a huge panic attack. and it's for me a dangerous place to be insitting in isolation, there is not much to do for the moment, other than reaching and sitting it thr...	tortuga	8	470	May 9, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	I am really hurting...life looks hopeless :( (Preview) The last few days I have felt really depressed. I am feeling jealous of people who have a good marriage. I am mad at a co-worker who has lots of money and asks me questions about my family life. I am feeling like a failure because I am in a second failed marriage. My credit score is BAD...just looked it up a fe...	Newlife girl	16	601	May 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	He thinks I am "not allowed to say no" (Preview) My ex-A asked for a visit tomorrow and Saturday. I said no because we have plans Friday and Saturday. He thinks I am not allowed to say no. I just no I don't think so and I am allowed to say no as he will not agree to a schedule. He told me he cannot have a schedule because of his work. I said well then I guess you wi...	Truth	10	1012	May 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	Alcoholism is the worst (Preview) Well I have to say and I always new alcohol was bad. The disease it's self was brutal . This is nothing new to me . I think I'm just more open to realize that this is one tough habit to kick. I don't despise the drinker anymore , for me to cope and get threw this sickness I had to put myself in there shoes to see how...	Wisdom67	8	614	May 9, 2014 by PP
	Had to change the Avatar (Preview) to bring myself closer to the family look. All the beautiful flowers. Hawaii has only two seasons so we FLOWER!! all the time. This avatar is of my favorite flower which comes in two colors. I have the red one in file and show this, the Jade version. It is a very stunning flower in shape, size, color...	Jerry F	23	495	May 9, 2014 by el-cee
	New here....this is my story (long post) (Preview) I started my recovery in al-anon 5 months ago and I can't express how grateful I am for this program. My brother has been a non-functioning alcoholic for the past 18 years, he will soon be 35 years old. He has lived with my parents his entire life except for probably 2-3 years and has only worked during tho...	mynewlife	8	676	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Day At A Time (the little blue book) - MAY 8 (Preview) MAY 8 Among the many gifts we are offered in Al-Anon is freedom. When we are new in Al-Anon, we are prisoners of our own confusion and despair. Working with the program offers us release as we learn to understand the true nature of our situation. the gifts of Al-Anon are not without a price tag; freedom, f...	WorkingThroughIt	6	1949	May 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Praying through every second.. (Preview) Today I came to work.. I'm ok at this moment. I am praying to god that he guides my son through his journey and praying for peace. I truly have to say to myself over and over that I did not make choices for my son. He made his own. I have cleaned my side of the street with him and apologized for pain I caused him, b...	Gaby	10	521	May 8, 2014 by neshema2
	letting go (Preview) Hi, I am in need of some help, my son is in rehab, he has put it in gods hands and let go.mthe problem is I cant seen to do the same. Im so afraid hes going to relapse. I feel like I need to be in control of everything. Hes 26 years old and I feel like hes 10. How do I do this???????????	bubba	9	372	May 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Not Rapunzel. (Preview) OK I'm going to try to put this into perspective. Excuse the boring story and repeat details lol. When I post on here I try to talk about what I am doing. Then when things are crazy with A I vent sometimes. The result is that I present myself as "trying so hard" and A as a "monster". I gu...	Melly1248	7	594	May 8, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Not My Circus (Preview) I was at a convention this past weekend and, unfortunately, had to witness a couple of my fellow club members demonstrate some pretty dysfunctional behavior after drinking from sun up to sundown. A fellow member, also witnessed their antics and suggested this mantra: "This is not my circus, I...	Green Eyes	9	515	May 8, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Hurting.. (Preview) Today I found out my son lost his job due to again his addiction. Last year today was when he hit bottom and left to rehab on may 9.13. I am tired of being sick and tired. I again feel like I lost my son to his disease. I know I can't do nothing about it. The three C's. Through his adult life I have been dealing wit...	Gaby	8	761	May 8, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Step 6 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57511576/alanon-step-6/	hotrod	0	884	May 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Dealing with a loved one in denial (Preview) Good morning. I have never really spoke with anyone regarding this, and the reason being is that I was in denial that my husband had a problem- he was very manipulating and convincing. We got married young and the binge drinking was portrayed as something "all college kids do". As time prog...	Marina0719	3	481	May 7, 2014 by Sunrise
	Fear (Preview) When I walked in my first Alanon meeting over 21 years ago, I had so much fear and anger. Today I found a quote about fear. I plan to write it in my Alanon book. "Hope is stronger than fear." Another quote is "courage is fear that has said its prayers." That one helped me over the year...	afglin	2	293	May 7, 2014 by Jerry F
	Just stopping by to say hello (Preview) Well, I thought I would stop by to say hello and check up on my fellow alanoners..... May spring bring us all new and good beginnings.........	neshema2	5	261	May 7, 2014 by Rose50
	My sponsor who has been sooo instrumental in my recovery is in a nursing home now... (Preview) I have my last final today and I will go spend time with her tomorrow. She seems to be fading fast and can barely stay awake when I call to check on her. They never had kids and her husband is so sweet and staying right by her side. I have so much I want to say to this wonderful Spirit, I just can't imagine my life...	Breakingfree	13	406	May 7, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Detachment, Defending child, Losing that loving feeling (Preview) I've been reading much about detachment lately. I'm trying not to let my AH's behavior get unhelpful reactions out of me. I'm trying to keep my mouth closed. I'm trying not to argue. Trying to say "you may be right." Then last night I engaged. My son wanted to watch tv. AH, son and I wer...	Sunrise	6	535	May 7, 2014 by ct1203
	good day for sunshine (Preview) I am more than making it--I am thriving. I love to get on here when I feel excellent!	Hoot Nanny	1	211	May 7, 2014 by hotrod
	my personal story of hope... (Preview) I went to my first Al-Anon meeting about 30 years ago. I had no idea the impact that Al-Anon would have on my whole life. I am an AUTHOR and have written a memoir of sorts detailing the painful and deliberate steps that I took over many years to finally recover from the disease of co-dependency.	karen18	2	670	May 7, 2014 by Hoot Nanny
	You (mip family) are right again; ) (Preview) Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I WILL still need to do my own therapy on these boards and continue my meetings. I had myself a mini fear session last night. I took it out on my "recovering" AH in not a particularly harsh way, but it was NOT how I want to feel or act or react. I was afraid of los...	sadsusie	8	475	May 7, 2014 by sadsusie
	We've noticed that your yearly ticket for the crazy-train is about to expire.... (Preview) lol, wow. Here's a lesson in not trying to predict outcomes! I mentioned that A appears to be really crashing and burning in the real world and that I am just letting the crisis happen and doing what I need to for my girl and myself including job-hunting, house-hunting etc. I'm trying to make REAL choic...	Melly1248	13	490	May 7, 2014 by yankshirerose
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.