Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

furneem · furneem

Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...

joker · joker

It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...

jay1112 · jay1112

Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...

sookie · sookie

Wow--a *long* time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...

Hapilynn · Hapilynn

Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...

Flossy · Flossy

I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...

DontKnow1717 · DontKnow1717

Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

Ah vacation time. I just got back from spending time with my family (separate continents). I miss them most of the time of course and spending a few intense weeks or days with them a few years apart is not optimal, and tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It shouldn't but it does. Before I left, I thoug...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

My ah has been sober for a few days because he has gout in his foot. For anyone who doesn't know, gout is an extremely painful inflammatory disease affecting the joints usually in the feet (ankle and big toe usually.) And, of course, alcohol is one of the contributors to this disease. Anyway, he's been i...

Temple · Temple

I have an email friend. We commiserate and buck each other up. Her husband isn't an A, but has a lesion in his brain and it's hard to tell the difference. Neither one of then is particularly curious about our emails, but just to make sure, when we are grousing about the situation around our houses, we gi...

el-cee · el-cee

I never reached out and went to alanon until I was 40, I had heard of it before and considered in my 20s but I was so full of resentment I refused to do anything that might help the alcoholic in my life. I thought it was about the a. As soon as I took a seat and listened to the preamble and then the shares around th...

AshleyA · AshleyA

I don't even know where to begin. I have been in a tumultuous relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have moved in and out of his place twice. I recently gave up my apartment and am now back with him, and I regret moving. He is very abusive when he drinks. Nothing had happened for almost a year, w...

carlie01 · carlie01

HI I am so glad to have found this forum! My father died of chirosis of the liver when I was 21 and he was 53. Now 14 years later I am seperated from my husband over my concerns with his drinking. He drinks daily and is in denial over his dependance on alcohol he thinks I am paranoid after losing my dad to this...

Flower49 · Flower49

The Cornhusker AA, AFG and Al-ateen round-up starts tonite! I was being excited about attending some of the events and speakers. Now, I am struggling with going. My AH an his house mates will be there for the event as well. I am thinking maybe I just shouldn't go at all. They will be stupid and immature an...

Hapilynn · Hapilynn

I've been married 31 years and my husband drinks a lot. If someone drinks 8 to 10 beers every night, are they an alcoholic? He only got one DUI many years ago, now he stays home to drink and he only drinks in the evening. I know this isn't good for him because, his memory is shot, his blood pressure is thro...

Cooper · Cooper

I have come to absolutely hate alcohol and everything to do with it. I grew up in a family of mean drunks and started on the same road before I stopped because of tragedy and embarrassment when I was 22. I married a woman who came from a similar family but claimed to want to be away from that lifestyle, in...

americana-n-mx · americana-n-mx

I've been involved with an alcoholic most of the past 30 yrs in one form or another. Alcohol consumption has been manageable for myself. I can take it or leave it. I often drink water when out with friends or my fiancé because I don't want to drink soda (the alternative to alcohol in most places). I hav...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have a lot of rage right now. i keep trying to expel it . It is a very nasty feeling. I am usually very calm and fairly easy going person. So this rage is burning me up. My abusers are circling me right now, i know that is the reason for my rage. My MIL treats this as a marital issue, not a dry alcoholic issue. hi...

Temple · Temple

I was reminded of a Byron Katie quote: "Before (enlightenment), my religion was that my children should pick up their socks." To all the mothers.... Temple

Flower49 · Flower49

I went to a court review for my AH today, nothing changed because as usual the people that are the powers to be in his life don't show up....can you imagine if he didn't show up when he is told too...they don't set a good example. Anyway, his PO was talking to him and he was going on and on about how great he is...

Katy · Katy

I am still very emotional very unsettled lots of thoughts and feelings, We are not fighting and seem to be getting along much better, I am still fighting my own acceptence though of what was what I needed and what I got, I understand he could not meet my needs he didn't know how, in five weeks I have started...

lookingup · lookingup

I know it's my greiveing him not being here anymore and the way he hurt me that's the way I'm acting I'm angry and hurt at the same time by his actions,he called me 3times yesterday I didn't answer then he called my friends phone I told her to tell him I wasn't here so she did he just calling like i thought was t...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I was reading in Courage to Change, page 117, and wanted to share. The most important words many of us hear when we first come to Al-Anon are, "Take what you like and leave the rest." Everything about our program is suggested, not required. This gives us the freedom to pick and choose. If we di...

lookingup · lookingup

Then he called me several times last nite and this morning early i don't answer his calls he finally texted me this morning early 4:30 am and texted and what I was doing that he missed me.i did text back finally and said really after all the pain you caused me he texted back naw I was just saying that ,well w...

el-cee · el-cee

This is Glencoe in the Highlands. Its a glaciated valley quite high above sea level. The mountains were hidden by cloud that day but its truly a mysterious, powerful place. Its quite intimidating, your surrounded by rocky mountains, its usually quite dark due to the depth of the Glen or valley. I tho...

ponygal · ponygal

I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works unless I stand my ground. I will not cave to my alcoholic spouse's verbal abuse, demands and moods! He yells at me he is gonna get it right back. I tried Alanon face to face meetings in my last city and found them to cause me depression and then more resen...

Aloha · Aloha

So very sad at the news of Robin Williams. This disease is just such a monster. It's even more frustrating for me to see someone who really is trying with all their heart and still have the disease take them down, either through an overdose, an accident, or in Robin's case depression and suicide. Prayer...

MCALANON · MCALANON

so my AS seems to have 'detoxed/reduced his drinking for c4 weeks now (unless he's just got very good at covering up - tho I am not pursuing him as I was). But, he is still stressed: he has always been nervy/poor self esteem- suffered with anxiety. He does have 'real' issues to deal with - separation, a w...

blessed · blessed

17 years ago; my ex left me and his son penniless & I mean penniless. He was ruthless and drug me through the courts for years until, finally, a judge dismissed his case on he didn't have a case; other than letigious harassment (using the court system to harass another person). $$$$ Now, as #2 is kick...

LinSC · LinSC

Sister in her late 40's decided to stop drinking on her own. No program. Lives 500 miles away so I don't get to see her in person very often. I am new to this program. How do I start helping her? She has a no good for nothing bf who she is trying to come back to her. She has two daughters. Has a good job. What do I do...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Where do I start? I just need to vent to my wonderful people here who understand and help me so much! Having an anxiety filled day. Oldest left for college, which is 9 hrs away. It's her 3rd year. Sounds too far away for me. Her dad drove with her. I started to feel so sad later after she left. she just turned 2...

lookingup · lookingup

Stayed all night with my friend her air was extra cold inside her home got up this morning with a sick with a horrible cold and hurting foot,what's next?im hopeing this all gets better soon Maybe this will help me to keep the focus on myself also.thanks agin for comments and listening to my problems.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I had a good meeting last night. I wish we met more than once a week. my group is very small, so I ask you all to continue praying for my group's growth. When I arrived last night, I felt like a wilted flower, but during the meeting I begin feeling so much better, just like a flower feels after a brief shower o...

Temple · Temple

She wrote a stunning post--I guess it is on her blog. My dauhter sent the whole thing to me, and I don't know how to post it here. She knew him personally--they grew up together. She makes some profound points--says that 1/3 of the people you know and love have mental illness or addiction or both. She an...

Aimshaws · Aimshaws

Please if someone can provide some advice. Husband has been recovering and relapsing for 4 years. the last time I told him I was leaving if he drank again; which, of course he is. I left him at a vacation cottage we have and I am sure he is actively drinking. He has no car to get anywhere and I have yet to dec...

Umbra · Umbra

So, I've been hearing about Al Anon for a while now and found this forum today. My husband is an alcoholic. I've been reading your postings and have seen so many similarities in my own life. I'm currently sitting at a crossroad. I've been married for 6 years. 2 1/2 years ago I realized my husbands &q...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I moved out about a month and a half ago. I am growing increasingly happy. I got rehired at a part time job with some fabulous women, whom I love and admire. I have grown even closer to my church family. I am taking voice lessons, and have become good friends with my teacher - who is my age and goes to church wi...

PP · PP

I only have a few minutes here....asking for prayers as my daughter is on her way to the hospital as a result of an ectopic pregnancy. I am scared, worried and know that this is in Gods hands. Blessings to all.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been going to Al-Anon meetings for about 4 months. I cannot begin to say how they have helped me. I know my h sees a change in me, b/c I'm not doing all the nagging, and bitching that I used to do (thanks to Al-Anon). But today, I am so depressed. I feel so helpless that I just want to sit and cry. Why am I fe...

Umbra · Umbra

Obviously everyone's boundaries are different. I am trying to set mine currently. I've struggled with this for the last year, and it's one of the primary reasons I sought out al anon. I've mentioned that my ah has been unemployed since January. With the complications from the cirrhosis the last few m...

bud · bud

When life becomes unmanageable there is no right and wrong, there is just falling apart or doing the best we can with the information that we have. Although I'm on a much better path as I continue to work Alanon, this morning the past caught up with me as I spent hours trying to straighten out yet another...

lookingup · lookingup

I left fo the day and abf ,I just got back abf stuff still sits outside on my deck.i do need all the strength i can get from y'all and everywhere that I don't end up back with him,I know he doesn't care about nothing right now but himself and alcohol and drugs He knows all my soft spots and will play them if he...

Button · Button

Hello all. Where to start? I used to attend al anon groups a long while ago in my early teens, when my mothers drinking was a serious issue that was affecting the whole family. My sister never attended with us but my dad and I went regularly. I found it really useful. So then, we moved away due to money and we...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf got up this morning and asked me what I was doing on the couch I said cause I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with you then I asked for my house key and he said he would give it to me as soon as he got his stuff packed and outside he had someone lined up to come get him ,I asked him a few ?s and he said that he wou...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi - My wonderful step son and his baby mama are expecting. He is a frugal person, always looking for the best deal. The baby shower invites went out and baby mama thinks she is Kim Kardashean. She has around 15K over 85 items on her baby registry on babies r us. Really? Who needs a designer $800 baby crib? I...

andromeda · andromeda

Nearly all my fears are financial fears. Some are related to my son's issues and his anxiety and making sure we can afford the help he's getting if we were to split up. We currently have him with a private one on one school for math and it will cost me $1000 a month. My son is 2-3 years behind in math and rea...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm staying as busy as can be ,I went and visited my friend yesterday came home and abf had left and took my yorky with him without calling me to let me know,I was irate when I got home calling his ph.he wouldn't answer his ph.then he finally called me to ask me if I would come pick him and my yorky up that his va...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

Of all the things I did for myself, I think taking the plunge and moving (although very expensive) was the best thing I have done for myself in my situation. I did not have to wonder if he drank, where is he, is he going to make a scene in front of the kids, .... It was not all rosy. The fear I had of him being very...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As the days pass I'm getting more and more insignificant at work. As they hire on the young and new employees that will be taking a lot of our places ( older employees about to retire ) I have become increasingly more worried. I go around needing to tell everyone my worth to the point of I'm being just s...

Hullibee · Hullibee

Made it through another crazy weekend with AH drinking non stop. I thought last Saturday/ Sunday was bad when he came home at 7:00 am with 12 year old grand daughter sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. She said, "grandpas home". I almost died from fear and embarrassment. She then p...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So my new boyfriend of 4 months is a carrier of HPV from his cheating ex-wife and now I have to have a procedure, because of this. I am a bit scared and pissed and well just going through the motions. I am not mad at the bf, because he didn't know or purposely pass this onto me. It seems you can't ever stop hav...

Luiza · Luiza

On Friday my daughter went to MIL's house for the weekend so I took her to MIL's workplace at the end of the day to hand her over at 5:30 pm. I knew there was a meeting at 7:30 close there so I waited in a nearby park until was time to go to the meeting. When I went to the place I could see people standing outside, o...

lookingup · lookingup

While abf is acting miserable for the 2days I'm haveing a time staying calm with my temper I wasnt calm yesterday with him and he said he would lave so I let him go he came back steady on his cell ph. Agin I finally asked him what who he was texting he said nobody he was trying to pull up porn. On his ph.he never h...

andromeda · andromeda

I don't particularly feel like laughing but my son made fun of my RAH last night and it was hard not to. 2 nights ago we made a frozen pizza in the oven and my RAH came home from the store and threw a hissy fit in the kitchen. He complained about how bad those pizzas smell every time we make them and then proce...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been reading and studying from several different books, all are endorsed by al-anon. The one I just recently finished and am going back and rereading certain parts is The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. I'm also reading from Courage to Change and How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling lost (Preview) Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...	furneem	10	698	Aug 16, 2014 by Kelly123
	If I'm honest with mself. (Preview) It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...	missmeliss	17	536	Aug 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making progress forward (Preview) It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...	joker	2	323	Aug 15, 2014 by Luiza
	New here - how to go forward with an alcoholic boyfriend who "wants" help (Preview) Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...	nichtdaisy	16	886	Aug 15, 2014 by nichtdaisy
	Parents are stuck, I'm trying to move on (Preview) Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...	jay1112	7	793	Aug 15, 2014 by Cooper
	I finally did it... (Preview) Wow--a long time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...	sookie	3	298	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	So it's like this (Preview) Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...	Hapilynn	3	349	Aug 15, 2014 by Hapilynn
	Are there any happy partners of recovering alcoholics (Preview) I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...	Flossy	19	1084	Aug 15, 2014 by Flossy
	Feel like I'm going crazy not knowing (Preview) Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...	DontKnow1717	6	508	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Have to fail first (Preview) This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...	Kerrymom	3	454	Aug 15, 2014 by Mattie
	The view stays the same. (Preview) I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...	missmeliss	14	596	Aug 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	I guess I really am a double winner/hybrid (Preview) Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...	pinkchip	14	823	Aug 14, 2014 by Kelly123
	Lots of shame (Preview) Ah vacation time. I just got back from spending time with my family (separate continents). I miss them most of the time of course and spending a few intense weeks or days with them a few years apart is not optimal, and tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It shouldn't but it does. Before I left, I thoug...	ClearTheFog	18	725	Aug 14, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	What irony! (Preview) My ah has been sober for a few days because he has gout in his foot. For anyone who doesn't know, gout is an extremely painful inflammatory disease affecting the joints usually in the feet (ankle and big toe usually.) And, of course, alcohol is one of the contributors to this disease. Anyway, he's been i...	cloudyskies	8	413	Aug 14, 2014 by Kerrymom
	A tip from could be happier homemakers. (Preview) I have an email friend. We commiserate and buck each other up. Her husband isn't an A, but has a lesion in his brain and it's hard to tell the difference. Neither one of then is particularly curious about our emails, but just to make sure, when we are grousing about the situation around our houses, we gi...	Temple	11	576	Aug 14, 2014 by Temple
	my first meeting (Preview) I never reached out and went to alanon until I was 40, I had heard of it before and considered in my 20s but I was so full of resentment I refused to do anything that might help the alcoholic in my life. I thought it was about the a. As soon as I took a seat and listened to the preamble and then the shares around th...	el-cee	5	488	Aug 14, 2014 by Luiza
	Verbally/Emotionally Abusive Alcoholic Boyfriend Wants Help (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I have been in a tumultuous relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have moved in and out of his place twice. I recently gave up my apartment and am now back with him, and I regret moving. He is very abusive when he drinks. Nothing had happened for almost a year, w...	AshleyA	12	3706	Aug 14, 2014 by el-cee
	First post (Preview) HI I am so glad to have found this forum! My father died of chirosis of the liver when I was 21 and he was 53. Now 14 years later I am seperated from my husband over my concerns with his drinking. He drinks daily and is in denial over his dependance on alcohol he thinks I am paranoid after losing my dad to this...	carlie01	6	204	Aug 14, 2014 by carlie01
	Struggling with a decision (Preview) The Cornhusker AA, AFG and Al-ateen round-up starts tonite! I was being excited about attending some of the events and speakers. Now, I am struggling with going. My AH an his house mates will be there for the event as well. I am thinking maybe I just shouldn't go at all. They will be stupid and immature an...	Flower49	12	489	Aug 14, 2014 by el-cee
	My first post (Preview) I've been married 31 years and my husband drinks a lot. If someone drinks 8 to 10 beers every night, are they an alcoholic? He only got one DUI many years ago, now he stays home to drink and he only drinks in the evening. I know this isn't good for him because, his memory is shot, his blood pressure is thro...	Hapilynn	11	568	Aug 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Sober 31 years....alcohol still screwing up my life (Preview) I have come to absolutely hate alcohol and everything to do with it. I grew up in a family of mean drunks and started on the same road before I stopped because of tragedy and embarrassment when I was 22. I married a woman who came from a similar family but claimed to want to be away from that lifestyle, in...	Cooper	16	731	Aug 14, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	struggling with broken promises (Preview) I've been involved with an alcoholic most of the past 30 yrs in one form or another. Alcohol consumption has been manageable for myself. I can take it or leave it. I often drink water when out with friends or my fiancé because I don't want to drink soda (the alternative to alcohol in most places). I hav...	americana-n-mx	11	722	Aug 14, 2014 by americana-n-mx
	Dealing with rage ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I have a lot of rage right now. i keep trying to expel it . It is a very nasty feeling. I am usually very calm and fairly easy going person. So this rage is burning me up. My abusers are circling me right now, i know that is the reason for my rage. My MIL treats this as a marital issue, not a dry alcoholic issue. hi...	Mirandac	41	1347	Aug 13, 2014 by Jen61
	Something somebody said on here the other day. (Preview) I was reminded of a Byron Katie quote: "Before (enlightenment), my religion was that my children should pick up their socks." To all the mothers.... Temple	Temple	8	533	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Court review and my AH (Preview) I went to a court review for my AH today, nothing changed because as usual the people that are the powers to be in his life don't show up....can you imagine if he didn't show up when he is told too...they don't set a good example. Anyway, his PO was talking to him and he was going on and on about how great he is...	Flower49	8	550	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Five weeks today I left him, and? (Preview) I am still very emotional very unsettled lots of thoughts and feelings, We are not fighting and seem to be getting along much better, I am still fighting my own acceptence though of what was what I needed and what I got, I understand he could not meet my needs he didn't know how, in five weeks I have started...	Katy	6	433	Aug 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Going through the greiveing process (Preview) I know it's my greiveing him not being here anymore and the way he hurt me that's the way I'm acting I'm angry and hurt at the same time by his actions,he called me 3times yesterday I didn't answer then he called my friends phone I told her to tell him I wasn't here so she did he just calling like i thought was t...	lookingup	6	525	Aug 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Take what you like and leave the rest. (Preview) I was reading in Courage to Change, page 117, and wanted to share. The most important words many of us hear when we first come to Al-Anon are, "Take what you like and leave the rest." Everything about our program is suggested, not required. This gives us the freedom to pick and choose. If we di...	cloudyskies	7	2987	Aug 13, 2014 by PP
	Abf been calling (Preview) Then he called me several times last nite and this morning early i don't answer his calls he finally texted me this morning early 4:30 am and texted and what I was doing that he missed me.i did text back finally and said really after all the pain you caused me he texted back naw I was just saying that ,well w...	lookingup	6	438	Aug 13, 2014 by milkwood
	My Higher Power's here (Preview) This is Glencoe in the Highlands. Its a glaciated valley quite high above sea level. The mountains were hidden by cloud that day but its truly a mysterious, powerful place. Its quite intimidating, your surrounded by rocky mountains, its usually quite dark due to the depth of the Glen or valley. I tho...	el-cee	12	543	Aug 13, 2014 by Jen61
	Rebellion friend or foe? (Preview) I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works unless I stand my ground. I will not cave to my alcoholic spouse's verbal abuse, demands and moods! He yells at me he is gonna get it right back. I tried Alanon face to face meetings in my last city and found them to cause me depression and then more resen...	ponygal	7	542	Aug 13, 2014 by milkwood
	Alcoholism takes another (Preview) So very sad at the news of Robin Williams. This disease is just such a monster. It's even more frustrating for me to see someone who really is trying with all their heart and still have the disease take them down, either through an overdose, an accident, or in Robin's case depression and suicide. Prayer...	Aloha	12	596	Aug 13, 2014 by Mari1978
	AS - drink and mental health (Preview) so my AS seems to have 'detoxed/reduced his drinking for c4 weeks now (unless he's just got very good at covering up - tho I am not pursuing him as I was). But, he is still stressed: he has always been nervy/poor self esteem- suffered with anxiety. He does have 'real' issues to deal with - separation, a w...	MCALANON	12	605	Aug 13, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Never saw that comin' (Preview) 17 years ago; my ex left me and his son penniless & I mean penniless. He was ruthless and drug me through the courts for years until, finally, a judge dismissed his case on he didn't have a case; other than letigious harassment (using the court system to harass another person). $$$$ Now, as #2 is kick...	blessed	23	729	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sister trying to quit on her own 3 weeks now (Preview) Sister in her late 40's decided to stop drinking on her own. No program. Lives 500 miles away so I don't get to see her in person very often. I am new to this program. How do I start helping her? She has a no good for nothing bf who she is trying to come back to her. She has two daughters. Has a good job. What do I do...	LinSC	2	298	Aug 13, 2014 by hotrod
	Angry, overwhelmed and resentful (Preview) Where do I start? I just need to vent to my wonderful people here who understand and help me so much! Having an anxiety filled day. Oldest left for college, which is 9 hrs away. It's her 3rd year. Sounds too far away for me. Her dad drove with her. I started to feel so sad later after she left. she just turned 2...	Newlife girl	18	530	Aug 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Sick with a cold (Preview) Stayed all night with my friend her air was extra cold inside her home got up this morning with a sick with a horrible cold and hurting foot,what's next?im hopeing this all gets better soon Maybe this will help me to keep the focus on myself also.thanks agin for comments and listening to my problems.	lookingup	5	288	Aug 12, 2014 by Nightwind
	God Bless face to face meetings (Preview) I had a good meeting last night. I wish we met more than once a week. my group is very small, so I ask you all to continue praying for my group's growth. When I arrived last night, I felt like a wilted flower, but during the meeting I begin feeling so much better, just like a flower feels after a brief shower o...	cloudyskies	3	323	Aug 12, 2014 by hotrod
	Anne Lamott on Robin Williams' passing. (Preview) She wrote a stunning post--I guess it is on her blog. My dauhter sent the whole thing to me, and I don't know how to post it here. She knew him personally--they grew up together. She makes some profound points--says that 1/3 of the people you know and love have mental illness or addiction or both. She an...	Temple	2	633	Aug 12, 2014 by PP
	Some advice for a active drinker (Preview) Please if someone can provide some advice. Husband has been recovering and relapsing for 4 years. the last time I told him I was leaving if he drank again; which, of course he is. I left him at a vacation cottage we have and I am sure he is actively drinking. He has no car to get anywhere and I have yet to dec...	Aimshaws	11	618	Aug 12, 2014 by PP
	Well, I'm here. (Preview) So, I've been hearing about Al Anon for a while now and found this forum today. My husband is an alcoholic. I've been reading your postings and have seen so many similarities in my own life. I'm currently sitting at a crossroad. I've been married for 6 years. 2 1/2 years ago I realized my husbands &q...	Umbra	15	696	Aug 12, 2014 by PP
	I want to stay in my happy cocoon (Preview) I moved out about a month and a half ago. I am growing increasingly happy. I got rehired at a part time job with some fabulous women, whom I love and admire. I have grown even closer to my church family. I am taking voice lessons, and have become good friends with my teacher - who is my age and goes to church wi...	sadsusie	13	648	Aug 12, 2014 by pinkchip
	Prayers for My daughter (Preview) I only have a few minutes here....asking for prayers as my daughter is on her way to the hospital as a result of an ectopic pregnancy. I am scared, worried and know that this is in Gods hands. Blessings to all.	PP	26	682	Aug 12, 2014 by PP
	Has anyone felt this? (Preview) I have been going to Al-Anon meetings for about 4 months. I cannot begin to say how they have helped me. I know my h sees a change in me, b/c I'm not doing all the nagging, and bitching that I used to do (thanks to Al-Anon). But today, I am so depressed. I feel so helpless that I just want to sit and cry. Why am I fe...	cloudyskies	11	572	Aug 12, 2014 by NL14
	Boundaries (Preview) Obviously everyone's boundaries are different. I am trying to set mine currently. I've struggled with this for the last year, and it's one of the primary reasons I sought out al anon. I've mentioned that my ah has been unemployed since January. With the complications from the cirrhosis the last few m...	Umbra	1	246	Aug 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	when life becomes unmanageable (Preview) When life becomes unmanageable there is no right and wrong, there is just falling apart or doing the best we can with the information that we have. Although I'm on a much better path as I continue to work Alanon, this morning the past caught up with me as I spent hours trying to straighten out yet another...	bud	11	728	Aug 11, 2014 by bud
	His stuff still sits outside. (Preview) I left fo the day and abf ,I just got back abf stuff still sits outside on my deck.i do need all the strength i can get from y'all and everywhere that I don't end up back with him,I know he doesn't care about nothing right now but himself and alcohol and drugs He knows all my soft spots and will play them if he...	lookingup	4	296	Aug 11, 2014 by PP
	First Post - Last Hope (Preview) Hello all. Where to start? I used to attend al anon groups a long while ago in my early teens, when my mothers drinking was a serious issue that was affecting the whole family. My sister never attended with us but my dad and I went regularly. I found it really useful. So then, we moved away due to money and we...	Button	4	497	Aug 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Abf moved out (Preview) Abf got up this morning and asked me what I was doing on the couch I said cause I didn't feel comfortable sleeping with you then I asked for my house key and he said he would give it to me as soon as he got his stuff packed and outside he had someone lined up to come get him ,I asked him a few ?s and he said that he wou...	lookingup	8	492	Aug 11, 2014 by PP
	Really Struggling this morning, any ES&H would be much appreciated. (Preview) Hi - My wonderful step son and his baby mama are expecting. He is a frugal person, always looking for the best deal. The baby shower invites went out and baby mama thinks she is Kim Kardashean. She has around 15K over 85 items on her baby registry on babies r us. Really? Who needs a designer $800 baby crib? I...	mercedes1959	7	434	Aug 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	I am so done, but I have so much fear (Preview) Nearly all my fears are financial fears. Some are related to my son's issues and his anxiety and making sure we can afford the help he's getting if we were to split up. We currently have him with a private one on one school for math and it will cost me $1000 a month. My son is 2-3 years behind in math and rea...	andromeda	26	890	Aug 11, 2014 by NL14
	Staying busy (Preview) I'm staying as busy as can be ,I went and visited my friend yesterday came home and abf had left and took my yorky with him without calling me to let me know,I was irate when I got home calling his ph.he wouldn't answer his ph.then he finally called me to ask me if I would come pick him and my yorky up that his va...	lookingup	4	351	Aug 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	Doing something for myself (Preview) Of all the things I did for myself, I think taking the plunge and moving (although very expensive) was the best thing I have done for myself in my situation. I did not have to wonder if he drank, where is he, is he going to make a scene in front of the kids, .... It was not all rosy. The fear I had of him being very...	sunshine23	5	422	Aug 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Happy Friday Morning MIP (Preview) As the days pass I'm getting more and more insignificant at work. As they hire on the young and new employees that will be taking a lot of our places ( older employees about to retire ) I have become increasingly more worried. I go around needing to tell everyone my worth to the point of I'm being just s...	Cathyinaz	25	597	Aug 11, 2014 by pinkchip
	Trying to keep sane (Preview) Made it through another crazy weekend with AH drinking non stop. I thought last Saturday/ Sunday was bad when he came home at 7:00 am with 12 year old grand daughter sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. She said, "grandpas home". I almost died from fear and embarrassment. She then p...	Hullibee	3	280	Aug 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Dysfunctional ripples never stop do they...... (Preview) So my new boyfriend of 4 months is a carrier of HPV from his cheating ex-wife and now I have to have a procedure, because of this. I am a bit scared and pissed and well just going through the motions. I am not mad at the bf, because he didn't know or purposely pass this onto me. It seems you can't ever stop hav...	Breakingfree	15	733	Aug 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	Going backwards. I still have so much to learn. (Preview) On Friday my daughter went to MIL's house for the weekend so I took her to MIL's workplace at the end of the day to hand her over at 5:30 pm. I knew there was a meeting at 7:30 close there so I waited in a nearby park until was time to go to the meeting. When I went to the place I could see people standing outside, o...	Luiza	8	452	Aug 10, 2014 by Mattie
	Trying to stay calm (Preview) While abf is acting miserable for the 2days I'm haveing a time staying calm with my temper I wasnt calm yesterday with him and he said he would lave so I let him go he came back steady on his cell ph. Agin I finally asked him what who he was texting he said nobody he was trying to pull up porn. On his ph.he never h...	lookingup	3	358	Aug 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Should I laugh? (Preview) I don't particularly feel like laughing but my son made fun of my RAH last night and it was hard not to. 2 nights ago we made a frozen pizza in the oven and my RAH came home from the store and threw a hissy fit in the kitchen. He complained about how bad those pizzas smell every time we make them and then proce...	andromeda	24	1647	Aug 10, 2014 by blessed
	A good book (Preview) I have been reading and studying from several different books, all are endorsed by al-anon. The one I just recently finished and am going back and rereading certain parts is The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage. I'm also reading from Courage to Change and How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends o...	cloudyskies	8	408	Aug 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.