Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is a poem I came across in AA meetings. I posted it on the AA boards but I thought some of you might like to read it cuz this is what you see going on right in front your your face. It sort of helps to understand alcoholism I guess. For most alcoholics these things are all on different continuums and on...

el-cee · el-cee

Someone mentioned this lately that the man is seperate from the disease. Im not sure I get it. When the man is drunk, hes still the man, when hes sober hes still a sober sick man so what part is the man? being sober doesnt make him a different man surely. I mean how would you even know the man if hes being an a...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi there. this is my first time posting here, tho I've been accessing sign hire for a while. My AH is my husband of 8yrs, been together 15. He was always a big drinker, I didn't really think much of it when we first met as we were both young & enjoyed the party scene. It's only since we've had the kids &...

Amg70 · Amg70

I am wondering what the protocol is for dating another al anon member. I have been single for 5 years and feel ready to date. There is a man in a meeting I attend who is age appropriate and emotionally available.

AshleyA · AshleyA

Hi Everyone, I just needed to connect with people who probably can identify with the way I am feeling right now. As some of you know who read my previous post several days ago, I have broken up with my ABF. I have to live in his home for the next 6 weeks. I am still waiting to hear whether I have gotten the a...

Katy · Katy

I never learn things quickly and I have to do them over and over until they sink in, I suppose I am just needing to touch the hot stove again, my husband was a big drinker when we first met, I think i had one year with him before he fianally stopped and within that year I had found alanon and so began the unrave...

Flossy · Flossy

Why would someone who admits they are an alcoholic, who achieved sobriety for 10 years after almost dying, continue to regularly drink after their first relapse 4 years ago? This is on and off. He has apparently had periods where he has stayed sober for 6 months, but in the 18 months I've known him he h...

Mattie · Mattie

I used to think, when I wasn't in a relationship, that I was single because: I wasn't good enough for a relationship. No one would find me appealing or worthwhile. I didn't deserve to be in a relationship. I was just a loser and everyone could tell. But I'm single right now and I suddenly realized why! I'...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

You know I was always praying for rain and today HP answered me BIG TIME. Phoenix got hit so hard I thought it was going to wash away. Up here in New River we got 4 1/2 inches in about a hour. The streets were being scraped but the mud and rock is everywhere. Coming down a street to get home is a dip through a...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I am always amazed at how my HP works. This week was quite eventful, so I apologize if this is a little long. My AH and I have been separated since January & we were separated 5 months last year. I had hope that he had hit his bottom and would seek help this go around. He almost crashed and killed our 6...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm needing a onser to help me with my step work,I'm been trying to do them all by myself but I was told that I can't do them by myself.anybody here want to volunteer for the job ?thanks

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

My second query to the forum, shortly after the first. That one will give you background. My ABF and I had a "come to jesus" moment six weeks ago after he was arrested for drunk& disorderly on the Fourth and he kept drinking 36+ hours after being released from jail. I wasn't directly im...

SunshineGirl · SunshineGirl

Particularly thankful for the gift of Al-anon today. Because of what I have learnt and practised, I was able to detach with love and remove myself from the crisis that my AH was busy trying to create to drink at. I saw it for what it was, his stuff not mine. I declined his invitation to a fight and pit...

texasgal · texasgal

My friend has dug herself in deeper she borrowed another $500 this weekend from a coworker and continues to lie for everything. I have blocked her number from my phone. I know she is miserable but I have to draw the line somewhere. I'm grateful for learning abt boundaries and when to separate myself fro...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared all over fb this, If someone has a life saving rope to help them, if they have a broken arm, they can do nothing to save themselves. Depression, Addiction, mental illness, your brain is broken, compromised. It cannot think correctly. How does anyone not get that? if one drinks his brain is...

Debilyn · Debilyn

OMGosh, I just realized something. It really hit me. HE called me today. The man I loved and love, liked. I still like him. He sends me an email off and on sharing some important event. (throwing me scraps?) Then months go by. I don't email him much. Its like why bother and he is married......still........

Mirandac · Mirandac

I will need courage to fight my dry ah on selling our property. He thought it was a slam dunk of paper changing hands only till my lawyer looked at tax returns and said there is no way either of you can afford to pay that mtg Alone. He finally got his copy of letter this weekend. I am very nervous. I have an appr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

S -- Edited by missmeliss on Tuesday 19th of August 2014 02:33:07 AM

Luiza · Luiza

So, we all have been off work/school for 7 days now. I have to say that surprisingly it was a very good week indeed. I was dreading it if I am honest. Husband drank moderately and behaved well through out the week. He did activities with daughter from his own initiative and was more than happy looking afte...

Katy · Katy

Hello Mip so after spending a few weeks away from home and I started to feel I needed to bring some things to a close, I have been lucky that my husband has remained friendly and loving in my absence and allowed me to come and go freely without obstruction or control, however he has not asked me about anyth...

Jerry F · Jerry F

now is an often thing, a usual thing and a natural practice. How would I have ever thought it would have come to this as a milestone in my own recovery. I came in to Al-Anon "all buss up" as we say in pigeon...I came in pupule or in translation, crazy. I was angry and rageful and uncaring ab...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi Everyone! So I ended up going to the convention and had a wonderful time. Got my cup full of great speakers and E/S/H. Amazingly enough because once again I decided to adjust my attitude and my mouth it went well with my AH. We talked and laughed and cried together. There was no pettiness, arguing noth...

lookingup · lookingup

Today went smooth ,my abf joined me at my friends house for grilling out,it was great,I enjoyed myself my abf was looking through his phone as usualcand I walked over to look too he closed it ,I told him that he wasn't right he said plz don't start let's not start,I can start drama with him cause of my resen...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Lol, so, my daughter is "Art Captain" at her school. She's quite a talented little drawer and painter like her father (I can string words together but my visual art is abysmal, even my stick-figures suck). So last night she mentions to me, "mum, I have completed all of the "art ta...

hope6147 · hope6147

Hi everybody. I'm new to this forum, and I'm new to Al-Anon. I've been to two meetings, and with my hectic schedule I plan to attend more. I need all the support I can get. And I need help, I'm willing to do anything. It's nice to be in the presence of people who understand. My alcoholic is my husband of 6 yea...

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hi there! I'm struggling with a situation which I think boils down to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship, along with keeping my nose in my own business. Looking for some E/H/S on this... I'm engaged to my AF, and my sponsor has been amazing at guiding me through my Al-Anon program. My AF is in h...

Flossy · Flossy

It happened again yesterday, it's insane. Is he intentionally trying to crazy make?! I was heading to a friends babies 1st birthday party yesterday when out of the blue (ex)ABF sends me a message saying he was at an AA meeting. Now I've not known him to attend a Saturday morning meeting EVER in the 18...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi everyone After my pretty desperate post earlier this week, I wanted to share that I'm feeling more hopeful today! Not of my AH not drinking anymore (let go of that a while ago) but of my ability to manage my reactions better. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have a really long way to go, & I expect se...

Flossy · Flossy

Has anyone come across their As having itchy skin? My (ex)ABF has had this thing for the past year where he constantly scratches his side overnight, to the extent that it wakes me up. He doesn't even know he's doing it. I've said to him about it and he claims it's to do with my cats but he's also done it wh...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I have been to an AA convention today with Al anon participation. My ABf is active again after two years sobriety. I stuck to my boundary after he stayed out over night and he moved out. I can not believe how much I have changed, I have detached and I am grabbing on to al anon with both hands. Meeti...

blessed · blessed

Today, I got to practice LIVE, AND LET LIVE. I was home for lunch, with my son, and a knock on the door. My son answered and I hear him ask for my AH. My son said he wasn't here.... Anyway, it turns out it is a man here to mow our yard. Seriously! lol! They measure our lawns in square feet; not acres. He has only...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been drifting down a bit recently and then I had a wonderful day out with friends and I can't tell you how much that has raised my spirits. It is so easy to stay at home here but being with others really is important for me. In the morning I went and had coffee with a girlfriend and her family. She had m...

lookingup · lookingup

The other woman that my abf said he did not cheat on me sent my abf a text to his phone two days- ago text said ....I love you. I had asked my abf to look at his icons on his ph. And I saw a messenger icon so I opened it up and to my surprise there she was agin.abf said he hadn't a clue that was there he then opened up th...

hotrod · hotrod

We are once again beginning to work the steps in order , on the Step Work Board.I have just posted the First Step, my reflections and some important questions that can be responded to in order to help work the step. Please join us with your comments. ThanksLearn How The Twelve Steps Work. http:/...

PP · PP

Just stopping in to say hello. I am home, exhausted and happy to be home. My daughter rented a car for me to drive home today..it was time for all of us to get back to our routines. Now, time for some popcorn and quiet. Hugs to all!

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, things have been good lately, but even so I'm being selfish. My husband and his family are at the fair today, and I have the house and the day aaaaaaall to myself. I feel a little bad because it's raining, and his allergies were making him feel miserable (well, that was his excuse anyway). But, you kn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well no court date, nothing new, same ol' same ol' pretty much. The kids are headed back to school and my girl is officially driving us everywhere. She passed her driver's ed class and is thrilled to be in the drivers seat. I'm very proud of her .. :) she is a GREAT driver and is doing sooo good. Yester...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Where to start? My mom has bladder cancer, just diagnosed, not even sure the path they are going to want her to take. My cat died, she was 12 years old and I find myself arguing with someone who says, she wasnt that old.. why am I even trying with those type of people? Cats live as long as they live eh? And my do...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf was trying to get me back ,calls,texts,dropping in unexpectedly.etc.i finally talked to him. He just wanted to hold me tight and not let go.said he had to be with me everyday.he is back to himself doing better than ever,scary,I was on my road to recovery for sure was not expecting this to happen.he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. I think I know the answer for my situation however I am looking for some perspectives .. I am going to go off fully loaded if we have ANY more issues with this. If I do this there will be supervised visits going forward. My STBX "forgets" what he has on his phone. My son who is 10, I'm an on...

lookingup · lookingup

What would be my self are when it comes to abf,what should I allow and what I should not allow.what are or would be manipulates that abf uses?,and what are enablers that I could be useing to my abf?when should I speak up for what I believe in?how do I take cate of me weather he is drinking or not drinking or us...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi All. 3 years ago I had something happen with a guy that brought me back a lot character assassination. But I did not respond to it because I knew I had a part in it and had hurt him. Maybe when it got too big I should have set a boundary, I don't know. A lot of people used it to inate their egos (including my own...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am really sad about Robin Williams. I have noticed in the news how they keep saying "If you know someone with depression, there is help! Here's how to get it!" Well, that's all fine and dandy IF the person WANTS help! I know the media probably means well, I get it. But it just made me think abou...

Tampa · Tampa

Todays Spiritual Study will be: Taking A BreakMeeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4al...

blessed · blessed

http://moregreatminds.com/8-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-emotional-manipulation/

Robean · Robean

Hi, all. New to online forum, have been going to Al-Anon since September of last year. I love my home group, but have been wanting to expand my support network to include some online resources. Did my reading today, and this particular line really struck me: "Does the voice of God have a chance to...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I have really been struggling lately. I have a real problem with intimacy and I push my husband away a lot. Even when he tries to hold my hand I don't want to. I find it easier to push him away than embracing his love for me. I have been getting very critical with him and analyzing everything he says and doe...

texasgal · texasgal

So far so good with my job . I had an issue with on of my friends. She has been dating a man who is a user. She has been borrowing money from our other friends. So far she has paid everyone back I only lent her one time a year ago and told her never to ask me again I do not like to mix friendships or family with money ....

furneem · furneem

Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...

joker · joker

It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...

jay1112 · jay1112

Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...

sookie · sookie

Wow--a *long* time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...

Hapilynn · Hapilynn

Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...

Flossy · Flossy

I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...

DontKnow1717 · DontKnow1717

Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why I drank (Preview) This is a poem I came across in AA meetings. I posted it on the AA boards but I thought some of you might like to read it cuz this is what you see going on right in front your your face. It sort of helps to understand alcoholism I guess. For most alcoholics these things are all on different continuums and on...	pinkchip	19	1077	Aug 21, 2014 by Newlife girl
	why is the man and the disease seperate? (Preview) Someone mentioned this lately that the man is seperate from the disease. Im not sure I get it. When the man is drunk, hes still the man, when hes sober hes still a sober sick man so what part is the man? being sober doesnt make him a different man surely. I mean how would you even know the man if hes being an a...	el-cee	21	861	Aug 21, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Another night of anxiety & no sleep- my story. (Preview) Hi there. this is my first time posting here, tho I've been accessing sign hire for a while. My AH is my husband of 8yrs, been together 15. He was always a big drinker, I didn't really think much of it when we first met as we were both young & enjoyed the party scene. It's only since we've had the kids &...	Tash2	16	762	Aug 20, 2014 by Marie212
	Dating (Preview) I am wondering what the protocol is for dating another al anon member. I have been single for 5 years and feel ready to date. There is a man in a meeting I attend who is age appropriate and emotionally available.	Amg70	5	1564	Aug 20, 2014 by blessed
	Feeling Lonely and Anxious (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just needed to connect with people who probably can identify with the way I am feeling right now. As some of you know who read my previous post several days ago, I have broken up with my ABF. I have to live in his home for the next 6 weeks. I am still waiting to hear whether I have gotten the a...	AshleyA	2	445	Aug 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	why I have gone back home. (Preview) I never learn things quickly and I have to do them over and over until they sink in, I suppose I am just needing to touch the hot stove again, my husband was a big drinker when we first met, I think i had one year with him before he fianally stopped and within that year I had found alanon and so began the unrave...	Katy	3	543	Aug 20, 2014 by PP
	Sobriety - a choice or not? (Preview) Why would someone who admits they are an alcoholic, who achieved sobriety for 10 years after almost dying, continue to regularly drink after their first relapse 4 years ago? This is on and off. He has apparently had periods where he has stayed sober for 6 months, but in the 18 months I've known him he h...	Flossy	11	827	Aug 20, 2014 by Mattie
	I've realized why I'm single! (Preview) I used to think, when I wasn't in a relationship, that I was single because: I wasn't good enough for a relationship. No one would find me appealing or worthwhile. I didn't deserve to be in a relationship. I was just a loser and everyone could tell. But I'm single right now and I suddenly realized why! I'...	Mattie	18	839	Aug 20, 2014 by Cooper
	I was praying for rain (Preview) You know I was always praying for rain and today HP answered me BIG TIME. Phoenix got hit so hard I thought it was going to wash away. Up here in New River we got 4 1/2 inches in about a hour. The streets were being scraped but the mud and rock is everywhere. Coming down a street to get home is a dip through a...	Cathyinaz	8	616	Aug 20, 2014 by bud
	Another step (Preview) I am always amazed at how my HP works. This week was quite eventful, so I apologize if this is a little long. My AH and I have been separated since January & we were separated 5 months last year. I had hope that he had hit his bottom and would seek help this go around. He almost crashed and killed our 6...	Tossed Salad	9	454	Aug 19, 2014 by Tossed Salad
	Needing a sponser (Preview) I'm needing a onser to help me with my step work,I'm been trying to do them all by myself but I was told that I can't do them by myself.anybody here want to volunteer for the job ?thanks	lookingup	14	726	Aug 19, 2014 by PP
	How to handle ABF who has been talking the talk about treatment without going "co" / how to talk to his friend? (Preview) My second query to the forum, shortly after the first. That one will give you background. My ABF and I had a "come to jesus" moment six weeks ago after he was arrested for drunk& disorderly on the Fourth and he kept drinking 36+ hours after being released from jail. I wasn't directly im...	nichtdaisy	6	679	Aug 19, 2014 by nichtdaisy
	Thankful (Preview) Particularly thankful for the gift of Al-anon today. Because of what I have learnt and practised, I was able to detach with love and remove myself from the crisis that my AH was busy trying to create to drink at. I saw it for what it was, his stuff not mine. I declined his invitation to a fight and pit...	SunshineGirl	10	536	Aug 19, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	thankful for program (Preview) My friend has dug herself in deeper she borrowed another $500 this weekend from a coworker and continues to lie for everything. I have blocked her number from my phone. I know she is miserable but I have to draw the line somewhere. I'm grateful for learning abt boundaries and when to separate myself fro...	texasgal	6	393	Aug 19, 2014 by PP
	so why didn't he.... (Preview) I have shared all over fb this, If someone has a life saving rope to help them, if they have a broken arm, they can do nothing to save themselves. Depression, Addiction, mental illness, your brain is broken, compromised. It cannot think correctly. How does anyone not get that? if one drinks his brain is...	Debilyn	8	759	Aug 19, 2014 by Breakingfree
	shove me into shallow water before I get too deep.... (Preview) OMGosh, I just realized something. It really hit me. HE called me today. The man I loved and love, liked. I still like him. He sends me an email off and on sharing some important event. (throwing me scraps?) Then months go by. I don't email him much. Its like why bother and he is married......still........	Debilyn	18	8308	Aug 19, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Courage needed (Preview) I will need courage to fight my dry ah on selling our property. He thought it was a slam dunk of paper changing hands only till my lawyer looked at tax returns and said there is no way either of you can afford to pay that mtg Alone. He finally got his copy of letter this weekend. I am very nervous. I have an appr...	Mirandac	13	672	Aug 19, 2014 by Breakingfree
	This is getting old. (Preview) S -- Edited by missmeliss on Tuesday 19th of August 2014 02:33:07 AM	missmeliss	18	827	Aug 19, 2014 by pinkchip
	I thought I would be able to go on my holidays without needing to write a thread before departing... (Preview) So, we all have been off work/school for 7 days now. I have to say that surprisingly it was a very good week indeed. I was dreading it if I am honest. Husband drank moderately and behaved well through out the week. He did activities with daughter from his own initiative and was more than happy looking afte...	Luiza	9	640	Aug 19, 2014 by el-cee
	Update! (Preview) Hello Mip so after spending a few weeks away from home and I started to feel I needed to bring some things to a close, I have been lucky that my husband has remained friendly and loving in my absence and allowed me to come and go freely without obstruction or control, however he has not asked me about anyth...	Katy	5	479	Aug 18, 2014 by PP
	Giving Back (Preview) now is an often thing, a usual thing and a natural practice. How would I have ever thought it would have come to this as a milestone in my own recovery. I came in to Al-Anon "all buss up" as we say in pigeon...I came in pupule or in translation, crazy. I was angry and rageful and uncaring ab...	Jerry F	10	673	Aug 18, 2014 by DavidG
	AA and Al-Anon Convention this Weekend. (Preview) Hi Everyone! So I ended up going to the convention and had a wonderful time. Got my cup full of great speakers and E/S/H. Amazingly enough because once again I decided to adjust my attitude and my mouth it went well with my AH. We talked and laughed and cried together. There was no pettiness, arguing noth...	Flower49	5	541	Aug 18, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	A peaceful day (Preview) Today went smooth ,my abf joined me at my friends house for grilling out,it was great,I enjoyed myself my abf was looking through his phone as usualcand I walked over to look too he closed it ,I told him that he wasn't right he said plz don't start let's not start,I can start drama with him cause of my resen...	lookingup	24	830	Aug 18, 2014 by lookingup
	Just what I needed...lol (Preview) Lol, so, my daughter is "Art Captain" at her school. She's quite a talented little drawer and painter like her father (I can string words together but my visual art is abysmal, even my stick-figures suck). So last night she mentions to me, "mum, I have completed all of the "art ta...	missmeliss	7	493	Aug 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Can't seem to let go... (Preview) Hi everybody. I'm new to this forum, and I'm new to Al-Anon. I've been to two meetings, and with my hectic schedule I plan to attend more. I need all the support I can get. And I need help, I'm willing to do anything. It's nice to be in the presence of people who understand. My alcoholic is my husband of 6 yea...	hope6147	10	889	Aug 18, 2014 by hope6147
	Two Ppl, Two Programs...right? engaged recovery anxiety conversation feelings step work (Preview) Hi there! I'm struggling with a situation which I think boils down to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship, along with keeping my nose in my own business. Looking for some E/H/S on this... I'm engaged to my AF, and my sponsor has been amazing at guiding me through my Al-Anon program. My AF is in h...	Advocate_For_Steve	5	10236	Aug 18, 2014 by maryjane
	Crazy Making! (Preview) It happened again yesterday, it's insane. Is he intentionally trying to crazy make?! I was heading to a friends babies 1st birthday party yesterday when out of the blue (ex)ABF sends me a message saying he was at an AA meeting. Now I've not known him to attend a Saturday morning meeting EVER in the 18...	Flossy	17	817	Aug 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Feeling hopeful (Preview) Hi everyone After my pretty desperate post earlier this week, I wanted to share that I'm feeling more hopeful today! Not of my AH not drinking anymore (let go of that a while ago) but of my ability to manage my reactions better. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have a really long way to go, & I expect se...	Tash2	3	483	Aug 18, 2014 by PP
	Itchy Skin (Preview) Has anyone come across their As having itchy skin? My (ex)ABF has had this thing for the past year where he constantly scratches his side overnight, to the extent that it wakes me up. He doesn't even know he's doing it. I've said to him about it and he claims it's to do with my cats but he's also done it wh...	Flossy	11	631	Aug 18, 2014 by Mattie
	today I matter (Preview) Hi All, I have been to an AA convention today with Al anon participation. My ABf is active again after two years sobriety. I stuck to my boundary after he stayed out over night and he moved out. I can not believe how much I have changed, I have detached and I am grabbing on to al anon with both hands. Meeti...	Tracy	9	572	Aug 18, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Live and Let Live (Preview) Today, I got to practice LIVE, AND LET LIVE. I was home for lunch, with my son, and a knock on the door. My son answered and I hear him ask for my AH. My son said he wasn't here.... Anyway, it turns out it is a man here to mow our yard. Seriously! lol! They measure our lawns in square feet; not acres. He has only...	blessed	8	796	Aug 18, 2014 by michaelwriting
	Stepping out helps (Preview) I've been drifting down a bit recently and then I had a wonderful day out with friends and I can't tell you how much that has raised my spirits. It is so easy to stay at home here but being with others really is important for me. In the morning I went and had coffee with a girlfriend and her family. She had m...	milkwood	6	412	Aug 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	Again and again (Preview) The other woman that my abf said he did not cheat on me sent my abf a text to his phone two days- ago text said ....I love you. I had asked my abf to look at his icons on his ph. And I saw a messenger icon so I opened it up and to my surprise there she was agin.abf said he hadn't a clue that was there he then opened up th...	lookingup	10	651	Aug 17, 2014 by Mattie
	First Step (Preview) We are once again beginning to work the steps in order , on the Step Work Board.I have just posted the First Step, my reflections and some important questions that can be responded to in order to help work the step. Please join us with your comments. ThanksLearn How The Twelve Steps Work. http:/...	hotrod	0	344	Aug 17, 2014 by hotrod
	A quick hello (Preview) Just stopping in to say hello. I am home, exhausted and happy to be home. My daughter rented a car for me to drive home today..it was time for all of us to get back to our routines. Now, time for some popcorn and quiet. Hugs to all!	PP	9	564	Aug 17, 2014 by PP
	Guilty pleasure (Preview) So, things have been good lately, but even so I'm being selfish. My husband and his family are at the fair today, and I have the house and the day aaaaaaall to myself. I feel a little bad because it's raining, and his allergies were making him feel miserable (well, that was his excuse anyway). But, you kn...	SpiderArcana	2	351	Aug 17, 2014 by hotrod
	Still in the throws .. :) (Preview) Well no court date, nothing new, same ol' same ol' pretty much. The kids are headed back to school and my girl is officially driving us everywhere. She passed her driver's ed class and is thrilled to be in the drivers seat. I'm very proud of her .. :) she is a GREAT driver and is doing sooo good. Yester...	SerenityRUS	11	557	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	It is what it is (Preview) Where to start? My mom has bladder cancer, just diagnosed, not even sure the path they are going to want her to take. My cat died, she was 12 years old and I find myself arguing with someone who says, she wasnt that old.. why am I even trying with those type of people? Cats live as long as they live eh? And my do...	likemyheart	9	716	Aug 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Given in (Preview) Abf was trying to get me back ,calls,texts,dropping in unexpectedly.etc.i finally talked to him. He just wanted to hold me tight and not let go.said he had to be with me everyday.he is back to himself doing better than ever,scary,I was on my road to recovery for sure was not expecting this to happen.he...	lookingup	7	495	Aug 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Porn and Kids .. (Preview) Ok .. I think I know the answer for my situation however I am looking for some perspectives .. I am going to go off fully loaded if we have ANY more issues with this. If I do this there will be supervised visits going forward. My STBX "forgets" what he has on his phone. My son who is 10, I'm an on...	SerenityRUS	8	816	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Takeing care of ME (Preview) What would be my self are when it comes to abf,what should I allow and what I should not allow.what are or would be manipulates that abf uses?,and what are enablers that I could be useing to my abf?when should I speak up for what I believe in?how do I take cate of me weather he is drinking or not drinking or us...	lookingup	8	627	Aug 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Malicious Gossip (Preview) Hi All. 3 years ago I had something happen with a guy that brought me back a lot character assassination. But I did not respond to it because I knew I had a part in it and had hurt him. Maybe when it got too big I should have set a boundary, I don't know. A lot of people used it to inate their egos (including my own...	WorkingThroughIt	12	1006	Aug 17, 2014 by el-cee
	The media and depression (Preview) I am really sad about Robin Williams. I have noticed in the news how they keep saying "If you know someone with depression, there is help! Here's how to get it!" Well, that's all fine and dandy IF the person WANTS help! I know the media probably means well, I get it. But it just made me think abou...	Newlife girl	9	944	Aug 17, 2014 by blessed
	Today’s Spiritual Study will be: Taking A Break (Preview) Todays Spiritual Study will be: Taking A BreakMeeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4al...	Tampa	0	296	Aug 17, 2014 by Tampa
	Emotional Manipulation (Preview) http://moregreatminds.com/8-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-emotional-manipulation/	blessed	10	1790	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	"One Day at a Time in Al-Anon: August 16 was written for me." (Preview) Hi, all. New to online forum, have been going to Al-Anon since September of last year. I love my home group, but have been wanting to expand my support network to include some online resources. Did my reading today, and this particular line really struck me: "Does the voice of God have a chance to...	Robean	4	542	Aug 16, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy in relationships (Preview) I have really been struggling lately. I have a real problem with intimacy and I push my husband away a lot. Even when he tries to hold my hand I don't want to. I find it easier to push him away than embracing his love for me. I have been getting very critical with him and analyzing everything he says and doe...	hope4ever	6	770	Aug 16, 2014 by pinkchip
	enabling? (Preview) So far so good with my job . I had an issue with on of my friends. She has been dating a man who is a user. She has been borrowing money from our other friends. So far she has paid everyone back I only lent her one time a year ago and told her never to ask me again I do not like to mix friendships or family with money ....	texasgal	6	657	Aug 16, 2014 by el-cee
	Feeling lost (Preview) Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...	furneem	10	816	Aug 16, 2014 by Kelly123
	If I'm honest with mself. (Preview) It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...	missmeliss	17	640	Aug 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making progress forward (Preview) It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...	joker	2	439	Aug 15, 2014 by Luiza
	New here - how to go forward with an alcoholic boyfriend who "wants" help (Preview) Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...	nichtdaisy	16	1041	Aug 15, 2014 by nichtdaisy
	Parents are stuck, I'm trying to move on (Preview) Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...	jay1112	7	905	Aug 15, 2014 by Cooper
	I finally did it... (Preview) Wow--a long time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...	sookie	3	426	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	So it's like this (Preview) Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...	Hapilynn	3	471	Aug 15, 2014 by Hapilynn
	Are there any happy partners of recovering alcoholics (Preview) I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...	Flossy	19	1199	Aug 15, 2014 by Flossy
	Feel like I'm going crazy not knowing (Preview) Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...	DontKnow1717	6	628	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Have to fail first (Preview) This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...	Kerrymom	3	590	Aug 15, 2014 by Mattie
	The view stays the same. (Preview) I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...	missmeliss	14	720	Aug 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	I guess I really am a double winner/hybrid (Preview) Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...	pinkchip	14	962	Aug 14, 2014 by Kelly123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.