|
|
What's best for kids
(Preview)
Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...
|
oceanpine
|
21
|
815
|
|
|
|
the holiday are just starting!
(Preview)
My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...
|
pixie
|
16
|
870
|
|
|
|
another perspective
(Preview)
A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...
|
el-cee
|
13
|
373
|
|
|
|
feelings of inadequacy
(Preview)
The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...
|
mjferg
|
9
|
592
|
|
|
|
Detachment with Love
(Preview)
"Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...
|
John
|
16
|
1877
|
|
|
|
Gaming addiction
(Preview)
happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...
|
karma13
|
6
|
1956
|
|
|
|
feeling confused.step 4 related
(Preview)
I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...
|
aquamom23
|
6
|
440
|
|
|
|
Did I just marry an alcoholic?
(Preview)
I am really grappling here. I just discovered this forum and have read a lot of amazing stories... and all too familiar experiences. Thank you first and foremost for being so open and loving and honest on here. I came here looking for help and I think I came to the right place. Alcoholism is a family dis...
|
Carrots317
|
9
|
818
|
|
|
|
Already starting a great morning!!
(Preview)
I was able to take care of a large monkey and get that off my back .. very big deal .. paying the money out sucked! Going into the new year .. AWESOME .. this was misstep in October/November. I'm just sooo glad I was able to get this done at this point. Today was the open AA meeting and I really needed to be th...
|
SerenityRUS
|
4
|
637
|
|
|
|
need advice from those who have separated
(Preview)
I've been single and away from A behavior now for 6mo. Life is better and I have healed greatly, done a lot of work on myself and with the help of a professional and al anon steps made progress. I cannot deny that. However, tonight I am frustrated and wondering why it is not at the place "I think it shou...
|
giraffe13
|
18
|
775
|
|
|
|
In Recovery, Need to Learn Coping Skills Living with another Alcoholic
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm glad to have found this group. Where I live there are no groups like this that I know of (I'm in a developing 2nd world country... ) in any event. I'm an alcoholic in recovery, sober for 2 years and 1 month. I don't like sobriety and I don't have regrets of my bad past, therefore I can see it is cl...
|
lc1886
|
8
|
662
|
|
|
|
He is a meth addict ugh
(Preview)
My son seemed cold to me as of late. As it turns out he is having a serious problem as one of his best friends has become a meth addict and is nutz. Son allowed B to move into part of his home. YOu can guess it has been hairbrained from the start. Son knew better but as we say, he loves B, he was one of the neatest gu...
|
Debilyn
|
12
|
901
|
|
|
|
Cathy and Andromeda?
(Preview)
I saw that an earthquake hit near Sedona. Everything okay with you?
|
grateful2be
|
4
|
404
|
|
|
|
If its driven by alcohol
(Preview)
Nothing is real. Aloha kakahiaka ohana...good morning family just checking in before my morning group and was reading shares cause this is how I start my day. I re-read the share on feelings and responses and another response from long ago came into my memory (still have one...go figure). &qu...
|
Jerry F
|
10
|
751
|
|
|
|
Back again
(Preview)
Good afternoon everyone! I haven't posted here in soooooo long I had to open a new account LOL Looks like I've been a member on this board since 2009, probably my last post. I'm signed in & ready to read & share posts once again! Good to be back!
|
horselover
|
7
|
311
|
|
|
|
Larger than it appears
(Preview)
The MIP Sunday Spiritual Meeting today was about Letting Go. It was a great meeting and has kept me thinking all day! It sounds and looks simple... "LET GO", even the words are tiny and uncomplicated, but for me it involves some pretty LARGE complex concepts. As a sorta newcomer to Al-Anon I...
|
MorningGlory
|
6
|
442
|
|
|
|
I love my own heart! Wow
(Preview)
Just because I "feel" something does NOT make it true. I do not know where the phrase "Follow your Heart" originated from, The Heart is Deceitful above all Things are the words of my higher power documented in the book of all time. One of the things loving myself means to me i...
|
glad
|
9
|
556
|
|
|
|
Is it my fault like he says?
(Preview)
Hello My name is Cynthia......there isn't enough space on this page for me to write all that is going threw my mind. I am married to my highschool sweetheart who found me again on social media after 28 yrs. He was the one I always wondered where he was or what become of him. I knew he was in the military but un...
|
Cynthia66
|
11
|
728
|
|
|
|
keeping it real
(Preview)
I will admit I have been struggling with some depression,I was feeling pretty bad this morning and I checked my first post, it was only about a month ago,it seems much longer than that!I think the holidays are brutal on the emotions and I am looking forward to January.I had some thoughts last night abou...
|
mjferg
|
5
|
491
|
|
|
|
I'm sitting with the feelings
(Preview)
What else can you really do? Read, hit a meeting, detach from the insanity, find gratitude and remember... this too shall pass. Darn expectations, darn holiday expectations. Whew... glad I got that out. Thanks for letting me share with you. TT
|
tiredtonite
|
12
|
706
|
|
|
|
Re-starting the inner journey....
(Preview)
It is kind of an exciting experience to re-start the inner journey!!! I started to slow down and just observe, listen...slowly starting to get back what I like and what I don't like and my bottom line. Feels freeing!!! So I figured out my addiction....HIM!!! Now I get the codependency!!! I am so tha...
|
Truth
|
21
|
758
|
|
|
|
Well i wasn't expecting anything but it still felt bad
(Preview)
Everyone in neighborhood in addition to my kids knew i was sick w/my back....everyone....and even before Thanksgiving, I got "feel better" phone calls, and knocks on my door when they knew I was up...... Thanksgiving I spent resting, trying to heal so i can work on Friday and i am slowly h...
|
neshema2
|
16
|
636
|
|
|
|
I closed one door. HP opened me another (better) one.
(Preview)
Less than one week ago I was writing here how difficult it was for me to take the decision to quit my Sunday job. I have been thinking about it for a long time but I didn't do it before because I was too worried about putting other people's needs first and also worried about the money. Today, at the end of the...
|
Luiza
|
10
|
721
|
|
|
|
New levels .. new things :)
(Preview)
I can't sleep late .. late for me has been 330AM LOL .. it's all ok .. when I do sleep I'm actually sleeping vs flailing around .. lol. It's solid hours in a row just not as many as I'd like. I crash early too so I'm sure that has something to do with it. This is the first holiday's in our new place and I'm still...
|
SerenityRUS
|
6
|
504
|
|
|
|
Happy Thanksgiving Family
(Preview)
Really now!! should I forget?? I dare not to. Doing Cloudy's suggestion of my Happy Hoppy dance and as I look at it and feeling so very grateful for finding MIP and all of you. Special Thanks for you John as this is your mind and heart child; a precious gift that comes with so many loving and supporti...
|
Jerry F
|
10
|
446
|
|
|
|
My Thoughts
(Preview)
All I can say is my 37 year old son has been sober for 9 months and I'm really good with it. Might not be what he wanted but he is paying big time for his choices. I could have enabled that night, I could have done something......but I let go and just prayed he wouldn't hurt anyone driving and that the police...
|
Cathyinaz
|
11
|
516
|
|
|
|
Yoga, anyone?
(Preview)
I'm starting a yoga class tomorrow. I think this will be a really good companion to al-anon. Now, if I can just learn to find my own strengths, focus on my own progress and keep my eyes off of everyone else, breathe deeply, relax, dare to try things that look too hard, be gentle with myself when I can't do so...
|
Southerngirl
|
9
|
620
|
|
|
|
a case of rebellion
(Preview)
Down under festivities start early. I feel completely anti drinking. I don't want to be around alcohol and its fans at all. I dont want my kids around it at all and I feel morally judgemental of all the silly jbarbecues we've been invited to this month. Bring the kids is the tagline...um,NO losers, kids...
|
aquamom23
|
4
|
507
|
|
|
|
a lesson in control
(Preview)
I have always fussed over Thanksgiving,well this year I came down with a stomach flu on Wednesday.I was so worried,how would this all get done!Well my teenage daughter cooked mostly everything.I laid on the couch and gave some instruction,the food turned out wonderful,I was able to eat a little pla...
|
mjferg
|
6
|
435
|
|
|
|
I just love to watch miracles
(Preview)
and one continued in my Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG group. A recent newcomer "GOT IT"!! And she was calm and smiling and confident this evening as she shared about getting "detachment". Loved it!! Gives me renewed hope and trust in that our program does work over a...
|
Jerry F
|
8
|
482
|
|
|
|
destroyed
(Preview)
I have 4 kids who have been deeply scared by their fathers actions due to him being an alcoholic. I hate him for all the abuse over the years verbal mainly but with mental and physical abuse thrown in for good measure!!! Don't get me wrong I do love him just hate the drunk. He has been told by the GP that he is k...
|
lizzieo35
|
26
|
552
|
|
|
|
Made it through Thanksgiving
(Preview)
For reasons I won't go into, Thanksgiving was always going to be a huge challenge this year - there's another big tragedy going on on the side. But then you may remember I was worried about my ex-AH's downhill slide. He showed up for our big dinner and I could tell he had been drinking. He was much loude...
|
Mattie
|
2
|
440
|
|
|
|
the gambler
(Preview)
I had a weird moment today. It isn't al-anon but it's how I am applying al-anon to my life, I hope that's OK. I've expressed here before the fact that I have a gambling addiction. It went postal in my late teens and early 20's and then I went to gamblers anonymous a few times and learned how to arrest it. It wa...
|
missmeliss
|
20
|
920
|
|
|
|
Sticking to boundaries when things are unclear
(Preview)
Would appreciate ESH on sticking with boundaries in unclear situations, or choosing to overlook boundaries due to lack of certainty. The next to last time my AH fell off the wagon, I told him I would not stay in the house with him if he drank again, because he turns into a mean drunk to me. My AH's priest al...
|
oceanpine
|
12
|
592
|
|
|
|
I think this is progress
(Preview)
Hi - In the past I gave my A an ultimatum about drinking, prior to alanon. Today we are going for a lovely dinner with family where almost everyone will be drinking except me. I have given it up more than 20 years ago. I see alcohol as a destructive force however I guess some people can be social drinker...
|
Lyne
|
5
|
496
|
|
|
|
I am thankful today is over
(Preview)
For many, Thanksgiving is a joyous holiday. For me, and others, it is dreaded because of Tyanksgivings of the past and how the alcoholic uses it as yet another excuse to drink. I made it through the day and am thankful for that. After spending the night away, I came home. I told the AW I was only spendi...
|
hdftby100
|
4
|
659
|
|
|
|
NEED some alanon hugs
(Preview)
I get back spasms (most likely due to the beatings and the anxiety /ptsd that followed) anyway, I can "turn" wrong and i feel something like "grab" and muscles in my lower back seize up.....this attack is one of the worst since years.....pain is unrelenting...I have meds for i...
|
neshema2
|
22
|
906
|
|
|
|
It feels good to say….
(Preview)
Happy Thanksgiving
|
milkwood
|
7
|
426
|
|
|
|
34 yr old A daughter keeps us on an emotional roller coaster and we want to get off
(Preview)
Our unemployed, divorced, alcoholic, past (we think) cocaine abusing, presently prescription drug abusing daughter lives a hundred miles away. She has a roomate who is A and a drug addict. A married older man supports her financially. To give you an idea of the emotional roller coaster we have be...
|
lgnutah
|
10
|
703
|
|
|
|
Feeling so sad...yet thankful at the same time
(Preview)
My daughter is home this weekend for Thanksgiving. She told me some really sad things about her roomate and her ex boyfriend. Her roommate started college right after her dad was paralyzed in a motorcycle accident. Her cousin also committed suicide before she left. How awful. But how strong she is to...
|
Newlife girl
|
5
|
893
|
|
|
|
Very busy .. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!
(Preview)
First and foremost HAPPY THANKSGIVING!! It has been a wild month .. I do not know if I am coming or going. This is weird to say .. I'm divorced however I'm not divorced legally if my XAH dropped dead tomorrow we would be married, no divorce decree has been signed. I also celebrated another birthday! XA...
|
SerenityRUS
|
4
|
558
|
|
|
|
What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season???
(Preview)
I was reading back to see when I was single a year ago, what I was doing for Thanksgiving and Christmas and since I have been on MIP the last 3 plus years it is easy to read back here as if I was journaling and track me. I was up north with my ex in-laws and exAH to see my youngest for dinner, which she is now ba...
|
Breakingfree
|
10
|
755
|
|
|
|
Sometimes doing the right thing is hard!
(Preview)
I am feeling sad and stressed this thanksgiving.It just kind of hit me today!Besides ending my relationship,I have other things going on in my life.This year is completely different from previous years.It is just my youngest daughter and I this year.Oh, I have 3 other kids,they are grown,and have k...
|
mjferg
|
8
|
613
|
|
|
|
Happy Thanksgiving MIP and it's been a while....
(Preview)
Hello everyone-- It's been a long time since I've posted, although I come to these boards and learn from all of you each time I do. I wanted to share how grateful I am to have found this site (thank you John); which led me to online meetings, which led me to a sponsor who has helped me immensely, which led me...
|
yanksfan51
|
11
|
564
|
|
|
|
Having trouble being an emotional support to wife in rehab
(Preview)
Dear all, My wife is in rehab at the moment and it is hard. I was the only one working in our house, and now I have adopted the role of single parent to 3 kids. Life inside our home has been typical alcoholic hell for years now. I was very excited when she entered rehab, it was voluntary and a true first step...
|
MooseWork
|
17
|
658
|
|
|
|
I just left...
(Preview)
I had been kidding myself for the last 2 years. She would get better, then worse. Had a few breaking points and what I thought were breakthroughs. This past Sunday my AW and I went to breakfast. She told me that she had been to the doctor and the doctor had asked her to come back for another blood test th...
|
hdftby100
|
11
|
918
|
|
|
|
ACRONYMs for ISM
(Preview)
The ism- I have heard : ISM "incredibly sick mind, I separate myself (i.e. isolate-think I am unique/better or less than), I seak misery/martyrdom" Anyone have any more?
|
luv123
|
19
|
3511
|
|
|
|
the mysterious workings of addicted minds
(Preview)
are truly none of my business. Having been an inventory taker forever, only now its guided, I have tended to probe another's mind many times,always trying to understand, analysing and weighing,probing some more. Great skill for journalism,absolutely crap skill for interpersonal relationship...
|
aquamom23
|
4
|
465
|
|
|
|
feeling sorry for myself
(Preview)
Im a bit numb and a bit sad and a bit sorry for myself and at the same time im fuming. This drama and chaos is not welcome in my life. I never invited it. I feel like moving away to an island, no kidding. I dont like being a mother right now. Who says this is what weve got to put up with just because we gave birth a lo...
|
el-cee
|
8
|
690
|
|
|
|
Thankful for this group full of loving wise people.
(Preview)
This is the time of year we are to give thanks for people in our lives. Although I do not know any of you personally, I wanted to post this sincere thanks for your wisdom, time and kindness. In times of great duress and sadness, I was blessed to come here and have contact with some caring people who gave me...
|
tpotterf
|
8
|
447
|
|
|
|
I didn't prepare for this.
(Preview)
Far out. One of the main reasons I was so determined to stay in this town, right now, was so that my child could finish her final year of primary school with her class mates and do graduation etc. It is NOT easy sharing a room and a bed with my kid, she is restless, she snores, she is ridiculously flatulent, s...
|
missmeliss
|
22
|
1001
|
|
|
|
Scared. My husband coming home after five days in rehab
(Preview)
He is talking about continued therapy, but says everyone there says they hate AA. He wont say much about detox or what we can do together after therapy. I am so nervous, I feel sick.
|
Kath F
|
7
|
648
|
|
|
|
Plopped into chaos and I feel content
(Preview)
As many of you know, we had a home flood about 3 weeks ago, destroying lots and causing us to make makeshift bedrooms in other parts of our home. We live in a small home with 4 adults, 2 cats and an 85 pound dog whom I have lovingly nicknamed TRex. There really is stuff everywhere and we are walking on bare c...
|
PP
|
17
|
771
|
|
|
|
new to this
(Preview)
Hello I am new here, I feel alone and I've never attended a meeting so all this is completely new to me. I've decided I can no longer deal with this on my own and just need to vent to someone who actually understands! I've been married for 6 yrs to an alcoholic and I'm at my wits end. He cannot function without...
|
lostandbroken
|
14
|
795
|
|
|
|
another crisis
(Preview)
My son has been doing great recently, a job, home with girlfriend, still drinking but no drama for a while until this weekend. Drama came again and it seems so unfair. I want a break, I got a break, he got a break, we all did, from the drama but while alcohol is still there alive and kicking the drama is only a...
|
el-cee
|
19
|
960
|
|
|
|
Not a very good Sunday.
(Preview)
Hi, I haven't post much lately. Been busy making my life the way I want and recovering. My daughter has been up and down. She was unhappy today because she spent Sat with her dad and grandparents, slept over and had to come in the morning. I have no complaints about ex, he has been having contact with her, l...
|
Luiza
|
6
|
755
|
|
|
|
life changing event
(Preview)
Sometimes things happen to us that totally rock our world. A week ago I had an incident happen that took a third of one finger and the tip of another. As I sit here typing using alternate digits, I reflect on how this loss will effect the rest of my life. I'm right handed and the injury is to my right hand, mos...
|
likemyheart
|
14
|
645
|
|
|
|
How will you remember me?
(Preview)
This is from one of my blogs. Thought ya might find something of use in it. :) I wonder sometimes how you will remember me, after I'm gone. Certainly I do not plan to leave this world anytime soon. I'd like to think I'll be here for a while yet, but I am close to 60. I'm a heavy smoker. I've already had one hea...
|
Wolfie55
|
4
|
2378
|
|
|
|
When people bring outside stuff to alanon
(Preview)
I go to an alanon book study every wednesday evening and we focus on one alanon book and all share with eachother. Similar to alanon meetings but a little different. Well, there is a guy there who talks a lot about his childhood trauma and it is difficult because I think he needs a therapist more than alan...
|
willowtree
|
13
|
599
|
|
|
|
I just have a minute...
(Preview)
Is it possible to have 3 or more good days in a row? Nothing is really getting me down. I did go to a funeral service today & I cried but found myself in my favorite coffee shop shooting the breeze. The owner is turning out to be a pretty good friend. I hope she finds success in everything she does. I will b...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
3
|
353
|
|