Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...

serenity47 · serenity47

Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...

jillybean1 · jillybean1

Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...

mjferg · mjferg

I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...

Holly09 · Holly09

My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...

deacon · deacon

Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...

neshema2 · neshema2

I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...

el-cee · el-cee

Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM

likemyheart · likemyheart

This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

bud · bud

"Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...

Jordan · Jordan

This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...

EdwinaGrace · EdwinaGrace

Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...

hotrod · hotrod

Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "

andromeda · andromeda

Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...

Cooper · Cooper

I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...

mjferg · mjferg

I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...

akk · akk

I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...

FedUp · FedUp

It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..

neshema2 · neshema2

I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...

MooseWork · MooseWork

My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for everyone involved in my family's lives. My AW had an even worse day than normal (instead of 1 or 2 bottles of wine, she had 4) and just went bonkers on everyone. My phone was blowing up with calls/texts from my in-laws yesterday. I got the onslaught when I got home. ...

Peace59 · Peace59

Hi, I am looking for a Temp Sponsor or Sponsor. My present Sponsor has decided to not attend meetings any longer. I have been in the program a while - about 15 years. I am self employed and work with my A husband who is sober without a program-quite a challenge at times. As it says in our opening in Al Anon -...

Jerry F · Jerry F

December 10th, page 345. I have always loved this powerful courageous page in our daily reader. It says it powerfully to me even down to Henry W Lf's note. Give it a read and hope you have the publication. (((((MIP)))))

mjferg · mjferg

I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...

Truth · Truth

K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...

Debb · Debb

I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...

BruceKent · BruceKent

Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...

Teepee85 · Teepee85

Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...

tiredmummy · tiredmummy

OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...

Overcome · Overcome

There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.

Debilyn · Debilyn

hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...

neshema2 · neshema2

THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...

anna_m · anna_m

i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...

being a member of alanon.... · el-cee

Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM

grateful2be · grateful2be

When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...

mjferg · mjferg

I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Overwhelmed~ Thank God for Al-anon! (Preview) I have come such a very long way from where I was when I found al-anon. Next week is finals and while I am close to filing bankruptcy and all that fun stress that comes with it. I am studying for a test this coming Friday, Monday, Wednesday and last exam next Friday! Wow is the stress on and without my al-an...	Breakingfree	12	994	Dec 15, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hung out with my AD- it's been six months (Preview) My daughter and son-in-law invited me over to watch football today. She wanted me to know that her twin sister (also my daughter), who is an A, and whom I haven't had contact with in six months, would also be there. She told me not to ask questions of my AD and to just "go with the flow." And so I di...	Green Eyes	6	744	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment or Avoidance (Preview) Hi all I read these messages frequently and find great wisdom in a lot of them and I am thankful for that. I am seeking some ESH with the following thoughts I am struggling with. My AD whom has stolen from us, lied repeatedly, made up all kinds of outlandish stories and I believe stole from other peop...	serenity47	15	1095	Dec 15, 2014 by el-cee
	No Doubt...not ever. (Preview) Just have to share the spiritual magic with my MIP family. This morning was the return of a old program celebration which was interrupted by "Nazies" Nazies are book thumpers...black and white only no fluff or it isn't program. This is my other side of my program...I am a double and m...	Jerry F	9	934	Dec 15, 2014 by Jill
	feeling strung out. (Preview) OK. Now the police are not adding a provision. In effect this means no contact at all. Yay justice is served all will be well, honour women and children. Except for me in this situation it actually enforces powerlessness. I have managed to save a little bit. I have enrolled in a course which will lead to e...	aquamom23	10	786	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	was this a bad plan? (Preview) Hey gang, I been busy lately but things going pretty well for the RAH and me and the kids. til yesterday................ RAH had to have hernia surgery and of course pain meds because it was a pretty big repair. When he first told me that the doctor was giving him Percocet I was like a bull with a red cape...	jillybean1	7	776	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	God finds a way (Preview) I took a big risk when I decided to end my relationship with my A,I wasn't ready financially but I believed if I had stayed it wouldn't matter anyway,I would be in such bad shape emotionally I don't know if I could have endured much longer.My son came over the other day and offered help with my Christmas...	mjferg	10	729	Dec 14, 2014 by glad
	When the alcohol is gone but the behaviors are still there (Preview) My ABF stopped drinking 4 years ago but his behaviors which have continued to be there seem to be getting much worse mostly with me. For many years before he quit I had boundaries with the way he speaks to me which was usually only when he had been drinking. Now he seems to be speaking to me that way quiet o...	Holly09	8	815	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	bad marriage, alcoholic marriage or all of the above (Preview) This has been one of those weeks that just needs to end. It keeps getting worse each day. . The tension in our home is beyond suffocating. We all walk on eggshells trying to avoid upsetting the ah yet hes still upset. Nothing we do or say is "right". Never do we just move on. Little things get thr...	Theoceancalls	3	606	Dec 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	maybe I won without meaning to. Should I feel guilty? (Preview) People here often make mention of the fact that when you start to have boundaries and defend them, people push back, and hard. And change tactics... Well I did expect this and I have figured the only way to really grow and continue on a road to serenity is to limit my contact with people that are used to pus...	missmeliss	17	997	Dec 14, 2014 by hotrod
	I think I must be a misfit in this world (Preview) Yesterday my sister asked her alcoholic husband to leave because he is taking rent and grocery money for alcohol. She works, he sits and watches tv all day. He responded that he does not drink any more than any one else. I witnessed him when he went one day without drinking so he could 'fool' the doctor he...	deacon	11	939	Dec 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	STOP and THINK (Preview) I heard a saying.....Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. ******************************* I have to FIRST think----is this an unhealthy attachment/obsession on my part or is it really my HP prompting me to pursue for my own good???...the s...	neshema2	2	481	Dec 14, 2014 by el-cee
	Big News .. LOL! (Preview) Wellll .. interesting weekend .. kids found out Saturday after not seeing their dad for 8 weeks I think its been that he's getting married the 2nd weekend of January. Going to be interesting is putting it mildly .. they picked a non visitation weekend first off and the kids haven't met her yet nor did th...	SerenityRUS	22	1145	Dec 14, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	waiting for the police. this is how women get killed. (Preview) I opened the door at 1 am to a drunk and having done my inventory was able to say not a word just went back to bed. He wakes up our toddler proceeds to fall asleep with her while he is lying there with no underwear completely wasted. I grab the baby he gets violent threatens our son torments me. Screaming for h...	aquamom23	23	809	Dec 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	I care too much (Preview) As my AH sits in our home, not paying mortgage since June, I still wonder if he feels lonely. He has been saying passive aggressive things to me that hurt my feelings and then I feel guilty about leaving, and guilty about his dog being sad when we leave the house. He isn't clear about anything...getting a...	Newlife girl	8	909	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Foreclosure is coming...an update (Preview) Since AH hasn't agreed to sell the house, it's too late now to even try...even though he said he would sell it now. The bank needs a lot of information from us if we tried to sell it now. I looked up the impact on credit score for short sale vs foreclosure, and it's about the same. Only difference is you can b...	Newlife girl	15	809	Dec 13, 2014 by Newlife girl
	what kind of mother... (Preview) Cant live with her own son because it looks like hes an alcoholic? Cant face the full story.x -- Edited by el-cee on Friday 12th of December 2014 09:12:30 PM	el-cee	24	984	Dec 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Christmas Music (Preview) This morning while doing dishes, yes I am an AM dish washer, don't know exactly why, don't care exactly why, I just like doing them in the quiet morning. Anyway - I was singing quietly to myself my oldest favorite Christmas song and thinking (yes, thinking comes with singing) about all the great Christ...	likemyheart	10	1047	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Keep looking at the trees (Preview)	Cathyinaz	10	939	Dec 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	NO I won't wait! (Preview) "Well you'll have to wait and we'll discuss this next week!" ""NO." "No I won't wait!!!" Sheesh! There it is- I thought I had a voice!!!! Dear family, he who cares less wins; although this is much more than that. I finally care about me more and it's time to tak...	bud	20	807	Dec 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Is it my problem or his? (Preview) This is my first post on here, so forgive me if it's lengthy. I am having issues with my husband and his drinking. Which is weird for me to say because it used to actually be WAY worse. But through years of us talking and trying to work on it, he has gotten a lot better. But when he does drink, he always takes it...	Jordan	6	780	Dec 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	My son has tried to commit suicide. (Preview) Hello, This is the first time i've been on this forum. My 41 year old son has tried to commit suicide and i don't know what to do. I'm so scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. He's been sober for the last 2 years, but hasn't really changed anything else in his life, he's just stopped drinking, but his beh...	EdwinaGrace	8	1005	Dec 13, 2014 by EdwinaGrace
	Aquamom and LC (Preview) Holding warm, positive thoughts of you both today Let us know how you are doing. "God Grant me Serenity "	hotrod	6	529	Dec 13, 2014 by aquamom23
	Financial bind (Preview) Since my AH has started doing the bills and inspecting the checking account with a fine tooth comb, he's come down on me hard and on my spending. I tried to point out that he's had access to all the accounts all this time but instead blamed me just because I was in charge. Now, what really ticks me off is th...	andromeda	10	772	Dec 13, 2014 by andromeda
	My New Job Starts on Monday! (Preview) I feel so blessed tonight. After years of Hell and dysfunction, in both my personal and career life, I feel like I'm finally moving towards where my HP feels I should be. I left my current, and crazy, job today and I start my new job on Monday- and my new boss is awesome (so far!)!!! Very thankful right now...	Green Eyes	6	606	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	What about therapy for depression? (Preview) So now my s/o is having bad stomach pains. We've been going through this with every hypertension med. Each one works for a while, then he gets bad stomach pains, and he has to find something else. It was noticeable enough yesterday morning that the people at court noticed, passed the word around, an...	zebrafish	14	939	Dec 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Falling out of love with an addict (Preview) I feel as if I have lost my love for my 21 year old son due to his drug an alcohol use, and that surprises me because I have always felt my power to love was greater than most, yet here I am. I try to be the supportive dad but I am at the point where I just don't like him very much. It makes me feel like such a failu...	Cooper	15	975	Dec 12, 2014 by neshema2
	things can change overnight sometimes... (Preview) I guess when I voice how I feel sometimes it seems to change. I am starting to really stand up for myself. I don't feel intimidated by my AH. He is not the enemy. I can cope w/ whatever I have to. Since my mom has not been released from the hospital yet, I am very concerned. I have a lot of things that went wrong t...	Hoot Nanny	2	454	Dec 12, 2014 by PP
	another post...my cousin! (Preview) I will make this quick. I feel terrible about sending messages to my 2nd cousin who just PMed me about her mother not wanting to talk on the phone just by email or by letter. To be honest, I am kind of angry but feel guilty about caring & making mistakes w/ dealing w/ her now. She is very ill & all I wan...	Hoot Nanny	2	491	Dec 12, 2014 by hotrod
	time for more changes (Preview) I had a session with my therapist yesterday and I said I feel like a ghost floating around alone.I didn't realize it until the session,that is why I go to therapy,things come out in the sessions that I can't make a connection with but my therapist helps me put the puzzle together.I am an only child who gre...	mjferg	3	544	Dec 12, 2014 by el-cee
	detachment question (Preview) I have never gotten a comfortable understanding of detachment, and have struggled with it. My AD is in the hospital, having had gotten herself into a horrible position with someone. She is verbally abusive to me and said some cruel things this last go around. Now she calls and needs clothes, shamp...	akk	21	925	Dec 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired (Preview) It seems that every pay day AH doesn't come home, whether or not his family needs anything.. It is just getting worse and worse. He will leave me with next to nothing to get through the next week only for him to do it again. I don't no what to do, nothing I say gets through to him.. Just looking to talk..	FedUp	12	978	Dec 12, 2014 by Green Eyes
	Learn to apprecicate what you HAVE , B4 time forces U to appreciate what you HAD (Preview) I am facing this now with an adopted sister now in hospice care due to Alzheimer's....Her daughter, my niece, texted me w/this sad update today...Its hard to accept that my big sis and mentor is now in this sad condition....However, I am so glad I always treated her with love , respect and i kept up with...	neshema2	11	733	Dec 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	giving our power away (Preview) I've been noticing over the last few months how unhealthy songs are. (lol I know). I guess its the whole early recovery thing where like a child learning the alphabet, you see examples everywhere. I watched Selena Gomez heart wants what it wants and cringed for the poor girl.shes so young!!! And strik...	aquamom23	22	893	Dec 11, 2014 by bud
	boy, it sure kept hanging on... (Preview) I regretfully feel like crap about not being able to post on the mobile site. I don't have access to post on my cell phone at home. And, because I have been sick, I haven't been able to get to the library to get on this computer. I feel like I am missing something & feel left out. I have been wanting to get o...	Hoot Nanny	2	720	Dec 11, 2014 by hotrod
	Message from my wife from rehab (Preview) My wife's stay in rehab is coming to a close. I have had very little communication with her during her time there. She also has had very little communication with me or our three kids. Tonight I received an email from her that says that her counselors feel that our home is an unhealthy environment to r...	MooseWork	11	937	Dec 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What does a sponsor do? (Preview) I've been reading a lot of things on this site, but perhaps I've missed it. What does a sponsor do? Not only for Al-Anon, but I'm also curious for AA.	frustrationshigh	4	1068	Dec 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	What a rough day (Preview) Yesterday was a pretty rough day for everyone involved in my family's lives. My AW had an even worse day than normal (instead of 1 or 2 bottles of wine, she had 4) and just went bonkers on everyone. My phone was blowing up with calls/texts from my in-laws yesterday. I got the onslaught when I got home. ...	frustrationshigh	10	754	Dec 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Temp Sponsor (Preview) Hi, I am looking for a Temp Sponsor or Sponsor. My present Sponsor has decided to not attend meetings any longer. I have been in the program a while - about 15 years. I am self employed and work with my A husband who is sober without a program-quite a challenge at times. As it says in our opening in Al Anon -...	Peace59	0	438	Dec 11, 2014 by Peace59
	Courage to Change (Preview) December 10th, page 345. I have always loved this powerful courageous page in our daily reader. It says it powerfully to me even down to Henry W Lf's note. Give it a read and hope you have the publication. (((((MIP)))))	Jerry F	7	1115	Dec 11, 2014 by Teepee85
	A peaceful little christmas (Preview) I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...	mjferg	5	659	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just plain old irritable (Preview) K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...	Truth	19	734	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Another ruined week-end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...	Debb	58	1576	Dec 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Will ABC stores confirm suspicions? (Preview) Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...	BruceKent	27	1097	Dec 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Blah blah moan moan (Preview) Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...	missmeliss	20	984	Dec 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Struggling to cope with recovering AH (Preview) Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...	Teepee85	36	1005	Dec 10, 2014 by Teepee85
	Newbie. (Preview) OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...	tiredmummy	8	735	Dec 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting them Sober (Preview) There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.	Overcome	9	849	Dec 10, 2014 by Flower49
	Guess I grew up more (Preview) hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...	Debilyn	6	826	Dec 10, 2014 by andromeda
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...	shimo	0	346	Dec 10, 2014 by shimo
	learning to know when its time to get help (Preview) THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...	neshema2	17	791	Dec 10, 2014 by PP
	new to al-anon (Preview) i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...	anna_m	12	767	Dec 10, 2014 by aquamom23
	This is absolutely not al-anon BUT (Preview) I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...	missmeliss	4	815	Dec 9, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Another lesson in control! (Preview) I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...	mjferg	3	519	Dec 9, 2014 by Debilyn
	The Gain (Preview) I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...	missmeliss	4	648	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	being a member of alanon.... (Preview) Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM	el-cee	29	960	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	Christmas, gift giving and Alanon recovery (Preview) When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...	grateful2be	27	1090	Dec 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	need to let this go! (Preview) I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...	mjferg	17	894	Dec 8, 2014 by mjferg
	S/O snapped at me.... (Preview) So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...	zebrafish	6	910	Dec 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...shame on me (Preview) i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...	Newlife girl	8	963	Dec 8, 2014 by andromeda
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.