Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjferg · mjferg

I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...

Truth · Truth

K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...

Debb · Debb

I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...

BruceKent · BruceKent

Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...

Teepee85 · Teepee85

Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...

tiredmummy · tiredmummy

OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...

Overcome · Overcome

There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.

Debilyn · Debilyn

hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...

neshema2 · neshema2

THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...

anna_m · anna_m

i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...

being a member of alanon.... · el-cee

Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM

grateful2be · grateful2be

When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...

mjferg · mjferg

I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...

zebrafish · zebrafish

So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...

LinSC · LinSC

Become an I dont know it all. Whenever you find yourself getting anxious about the big and small deaths of daily lifebeing out of control, not getting what you want, endings and partingstake a few minutes to allow in the possibility that you do not see the full picture. Often what looks terrible today w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since leaving my exAH I left with a ton of credit card debt from the both of us. For the last few years I have been able to make payments and carry on per usual, but since my 16 year old started driving that is another expense her car, gas, insurance and my old car died so now I have a car payment and my car insura...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Someone had asked me for the title of the book my home group in AA is reading. I'm so glad to be going back to these meetings it just really reminds me how far I have to go. Drop the Rock Removing Character Defects Steps Six and Seven All I can say is WOW .. this book for me has put a few things into perspectiv...

LinSC · LinSC

My son has been sober for a year now. But that doesnt say a whole lot because he doesnt have a program so is growing very slow as far as picking up new habits and characteristics. As for me I have just been glad I have not had to deal with him. I now realize how exhausted I was after all those years of trying to &q...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My AH just went into rehab on Monday after we had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house. He said so many mean things over the weekend and then by Sunday and Monday came back to his senses and decided he really did need help. I just don't know if I am fooling myself thinking that well if he really stays so...

LinSC · LinSC

Because of the what if's that I am experiencing this Christmas season, because of my son's past drinking. I hesitate to go visit him and family. Although he has been sober for over a year, does not have a program and has not grown a lot in his problem solving capabilities. But I want to see my Grand baby! He...

andromeda · andromeda

So, all of a sudden AH is worried about the finances. Claims his job is on the line, that we will be out of savings by the spring, that he just has to find a way to figure this whole mess out.....Of course, I've been managing the finances for the past few years so there's a lot of guilt in my head right now abou...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Well the Holidays are here again. And so is the stress for me. When I was growing up my mother loved Christmas and my father spoiled just about everyone by being drunk and passed out somewhere. Now I have continued the cycle by marrying an alcoholic and trying to make the holidays perfect for the kids...

Cloudchaser · Cloudchaser

Hi folks, I'm new here. I am an adult child of an alcoholic father. He has been gone a very long time now. My partner's sister and her husband were also alcoholics. They had 2 kids, who are 13 years apart. I am very close to both boys. The older child was about 12 when his parents' drinking got completely out...

bud · bud

My ill Mom was placed in hospice today and I'm so overwhelmed and flooded with emotions. It seems like a long, drawn out process and yet things are moving way too quickly and there is no way to prepare for loss and all that goes with it. No matter how many times I revisit, it will be life on life's terms bu...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 has been posted to the Step Board Please share your ESH if you like.Here is the web site addy http://stepwork.a...

el-cee · el-cee

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hi! things have been so crazy busy here but I am able to come and read every once in a while and it always seems to be what I need to hear! I am so thankful for ya'll and this board. I have not been working my program lately because I am as stubborn and in denial as my AH and let's face it, it's way easier to backsli...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am realizing more and more each day how sick my husband is and I have more empathy for him than I used to. Living apart from him has really opened my eyes. He is incapable of working. He is in denial about our home foreclosing. I spoke to him tonight and just told him I understand. I have complained a lot to o...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter went away to her dad's over the weekend. I decided, this time, maybe it would be good if I drove some of the way (I still haven't ventured far from home) then parked, caught the train the rest of the way, back to my car and drive home again. Great idea huh? Remember, it's about 8-9 hours on public tr...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Now I am old school Al Anon, AA. A slip was no such thing. You did a drug, you relapsed and your days start all over again. Even if you had ten years in, you were at day one. I consider a slip a step on the road to total relapse. Would like to hear from others . please? pinkchip? Other double winners? everyone?...

zebrafish · zebrafish

Hi all, My situation is difficult, because my significant other and I are having to work together to stay afloat financially, but he's not doing his share. He's addicted to the internet, really really addicted. He was forced to semi-retire June 2013, but still works freelance. His pension is basi...

mjferg · mjferg

It hit last night,I was washing dishes,I started slamming the dishes and I started crying,I have been feeling a lot of things,really painful things and I have to say I deserve better than this crap!All of a sudden I realize I have believed the lies I learned from my father.He was horrible to me,he treat...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

Good morning my Al-Anon family. I missed my weekly face to face meeting yesterday because I have bronchitis. Our meeting was cancelled last week due to it falling on Thanksgiving, so I'm feeling it. I'm finding myself going back to step 3 often. "Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over...

mjferg · mjferg

Well I certainly have been in a mood lately,and I am tired of it!I have been reading about acceptance and I realize I haven't really been accepting where I am at the moment and that is causing me a lot of turmoil in my head.I have been blaming my ex for all my problems.So if he is responsible for all that is wr...

Flower49 · Flower49

So I often sit and wonder, how long does the giant baby inside syndrome last....it seems sometimes I am expected to overlook a whole lot of selfish, immature, baby emotions, reactions, etc. with my A and I can for the most part, but how long does it take for them to get to oh I don't know maybe someone past t...

skarlett · skarlett

Three weeks ago I got the A in my life out of my house. We are in two separate states now, and he has begun to go to AA meetings where he is. I am not nearly as concerned about his recovery as I am about my own. I find I have some old habits that are hard to break. I find I make myself responsible for his emotions...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

It has been a little while since I've posted. I have been in a bit of a holding pattern for the past month and a half,waiting on my attorney to file the divorce papers. (long story why). AH has been pushing hard for a reconciliation over the past month. I unfortunately have been wishy-washy with him. ...

kspec85 · kspec85

Hi everyone. I am new to all of this and warn in advance this will probably be quite long. I am 29 and divorced with three children. I was born into a diseased and mentally ill family. My father was an addict- heroine, crack, alcohol, all of it. He moved my brother and I all over and other than that we lived in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been both sick & tired lately. I guess I was again even concerned about my sanity. One thing is for sure that I have a virus that cannot be fixed by any kind of medicine or anti-biotic at all. I am just grateful that I think I am on the better end of it. I think I am going to survive. Sleep on the other h...

frustrationshigh · frustrationshigh

I've been reading these forums for awhile now, and I am ready to share my story. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I'm looking for though. Maybe just to vent? Maybe for some words of encouragement? Maybe advice? Maybe to know that I'm not alone.... Anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Here it g...

chatz · chatz

I have never been on a chat room of any type before and I am trying to think of how to summarize the story of the devastation my family has been through over the past two years. For whatever reason, TODAY was the day I was inspired to start researching alanon? Don't know why today...but here I am. I welco...

astallaslions · astallaslions

I have written many letters to my A during the last 6 months of our break up, none of which I have sent. This last one, I have been considering. It is basically an attempt to reach out and reestablish contact, on the premise to have closure and resolution for our messy break up, with the condition that he is...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since I have found al-anon I feel more balanced and connected to my fellow human beings, whether it is a homeless person, an addict, a child, or someone of means. I can see myself in them and them in me even if I like or dislike what they are doing. I have learned when I usually have a strong reaction to anoth...

willowtree · willowtree

I have been in alanon for 3 years and it seems like I am getting more program friends and less friends outside the program. Is this something that starts to happen in your lives? I let go of one friendship who was really narcissistic and everything was all about her so I feel good about leaving that frie...

Luiza · Luiza

Quit Taking it Personally... How? If I think the smallest things are personal? But maybe they aren't and the problem is in my head? How to know the difference?

Mari1978 · Mari1978

When someone chooses to not respect you, you choose to do it for them. XA is now becoming more public with his new gf. (the counsellor from the detox centre) There are just so many things not right about this on so many levels. My rights were never respected nor were the rights of my kids. This tells me 2 thi...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I got a call from the police at 5AM on Sunday morning. My AH was calling saying there were intruders at the house. They arrived but couldn't find him. Could I come over? We have been separated for 4 years. I've tried to move on. Leaving the home I love and the man I once loved to find a serene place for myself....

oceanpine · oceanpine

Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...

pixie · pixie

My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...

el-cee · el-cee

A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...

mjferg · mjferg

The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...

John · John

"Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...

karma13 · karma13

happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A peaceful little christmas (Preview) I went out yesterday and picked up some gifts for my daughter yesterday,it isn't much but it is all I can do right now.I got the tree today,I love the smell of a real tree,they were marked down.It's beautiful.You know right now I just have a heart full of gratitude,I wish I could put into words how much thi...	mjferg	5	573	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Just plain old irritable (Preview) K well after my well intentioned listening ....I had another phone call from my friend...I have no idea if we will be friends anymore. I tried to listen for over 45 minutes while she talked, i tried to speak I got interrupted, so I waited, then I tried to talk and she started talking to people in the backgr...	Truth	19	635	Dec 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	Another ruined week-end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know that the drinking makes AH unreasonable and abusive, but it always is upsetting. I parked the car, when I came home from work in a different spot so the tree full of pigeons would not make a mess all over it and I forgot to turn the porch light on for him and he came in raging and moved the car and scream...	Debb	58	1428	Dec 10, 2014 by neshema2
	Will ABC stores confirm suspicions? (Preview) Hi there. First post, so please go easy on me. I hope I'm doing this right, and that I'm in the right place. If not, forgive me. I'm in a rough spot, in that I don't know what direction to take my life. I've been involved with an alcoholic girlfriend now for 6 months. She was an alcoholic before we star...	BruceKent	27	981	Dec 10, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Blah blah moan moan (Preview) Avatar is me this morning. I woke up in a bad mood. I went walking on the beach because I figured if that didn't cheer me up nothing would. It worked. My day was mostly good after that. Things here are very hard. The son who's room I am renting has come back and is sleeping on the couch. Housemate lady has been...	missmeliss	20	896	Dec 10, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Struggling to cope with recovering AH (Preview) Hi everyone my name is Tanya and this is my first introduction to Al anon community. I've been married to my AH for 6 years now and it's been a very trying WTF time! he has been in and out of rehab but this last time there seems to be considerable improvement. He's been sober for nearly 3 months now and it's G...	Teepee85	36	908	Dec 10, 2014 by Teepee85
	Newbie. (Preview) OK trying to keep this short, hubby and I have been together 11 years and over that time his drinking has got worse! Since June when his brother with a few spare bedrooms moved closer it got even worse! My husband is kind, loving, and generous when hes not drinking when he is nothing else matters! since Ju...	tiredmummy	8	646	Dec 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Getting them Sober (Preview) There used to be a book on here that was a "sticky" at the top of the page. I think it was called "Getting them Sober" does anyone know anything about that? Thanks in advance.	Overcome	9	748	Dec 10, 2014 by Flower49
	Guess I grew up more (Preview) hi all, I have shared I am a sucker. Bad at staying all business when it comes to being a landlord. So again, ad says,"Desperate for pasture for horses." I invite her to bring them over. set an amount and expectations. omg one of the rescues is a houdini horse. shilo. I called him Bozo as I swear...	Debilyn	6	740	Dec 10, 2014 by andromeda
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Grieving, Fear, Trust The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which us...	shimo	0	266	Dec 10, 2014 by shimo
	learning to know when its time to get help (Preview) THis isn't alanon, but it is a facet of my recovery... I have had this latest back spasm problem for about 2.5 weeks now.....i would feel hope/progress then sunday BANG...i did something to aggravate it and was unable to walk w/out great difficulty and very slowly this am I drug me to my doc b/c i could n...	neshema2	17	691	Dec 10, 2014 by PP
	new to al-anon (Preview) i have spent my adult life surrounded by addicts, recreationally using myself, but have never been involved in AA or Al-anon. Last week i put my foot down with my boyfriend (of only 4 or 6 months; have known each other for about a year). I knew the substances that bonded us would drive us apart, and of co...	anna_m	12	670	Dec 10, 2014 by aquamom23
	This is absolutely not al-anon BUT (Preview) I hope you guys will allow it!! This house doesn't have a letter-box. I enjoy many aspects of the lifestyle here but there are some things lacking such as an oven, clothesline and, a letterbox and the post-man tends to throw the letters on the ground with angry writing "why don't you have a letterb...	missmeliss	4	721	Dec 9, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Another lesson in control! (Preview) I have been watching a series on King Henry the 8th, I enjoy history and stories about real people.As I was watching I realized what a brute this man was and what a big ego he had.He desired a son to reign when he died,A girl would not be competent, and he went through 6 wives and had one son .He spent years of h...	mjferg	3	423	Dec 9, 2014 by Debilyn
	The Gain (Preview) I've made no secret of the fact that life is hard lately and I am really fed up with it and prone to feeling sorry for myself and then beating myself up for feeling sorry for myself...lol woe is me. But having watched the way life unfolds and the way things happen all by themselves, I have no doubt that it all...	missmeliss	4	550	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	being a member of alanon.... (Preview) Means to me that I have a responsibility to pass on what I have been given. Its a fellowship of equals so people give and get. How have you, or do you pass it on? And what do you get in return? Has it ever went wrong? -- Edited by el-cee on Saturday 6th of December 2014 06:41:31 AM	el-cee	29	852	Dec 9, 2014 by hotrod
	Christmas, gift giving and Alanon recovery (Preview) When I reached puberty, my Mom and Dad had a host of little people to care for and to raise. My Mom, an untreated ACOA, was driven by the need to do everything perfectly. Our Christmases looked like they had been put together by a large team of elves and our house looked like something out of Good Houseke...	grateful2be	27	991	Dec 9, 2014 by Breakingfree
	need to let this go! (Preview) I am upset today!My ex called my teenage daughter last night,it was late and she didn't realize it was him calling.I was in bed when she came and told me.I changed my phone number but I wasn't even thinking about her phone at the time,I have had so much on my plate.It really makes me angry that he had the ner...	mjferg	17	797	Dec 8, 2014 by mjferg
	S/O snapped at me.... (Preview) So today he mentioned that he had to take the checks and go to the bank, and I said something like "I'm not doing it," and he snapped "I know." So I don't know if he just didn't like being reminded, or if he's mad that I'm not doing it any more. I have a lot to learn yet. I guess a lot of p...	zebrafish	6	812	Dec 8, 2014 by neshema2
	Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...shame on me (Preview) i just watched my empathy be flushed down the alcoholic toilet of hell. Sorry...but I am at my wits end. The other night AH was being open and honest..so I thought. In the last few days since then, he has turned his attitude around...kinda like the Exorcist scene where what's her name twists her head all...	Newlife girl	8	868	Dec 8, 2014 by andromeda
	A Good Word For Today (Preview) Become an I dont know it all. Whenever you find yourself getting anxious about the big and small deaths of daily lifebeing out of control, not getting what you want, endings and partingstake a few minutes to allow in the possibility that you do not see the full picture. Often what looks terrible today w...	LinSC	7	578	Dec 8, 2014 by andromeda
	Filing for bankruptcy and need ESH (Preview) Since leaving my exAH I left with a ton of credit card debt from the both of us. For the last few years I have been able to make payments and carry on per usual, but since my 16 year old started driving that is another expense her car, gas, insurance and my old car died so now I have a car payment and my car insura...	Breakingfree	13	818	Dec 7, 2014 by PP
	Open AA Metting Book (Preview) Someone had asked me for the title of the book my home group in AA is reading. I'm so glad to be going back to these meetings it just really reminds me how far I have to go. Drop the Rock Removing Character Defects Steps Six and Seven All I can say is WOW .. this book for me has put a few things into perspectiv...	SerenityRUS	2	389	Dec 7, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Some Thoughts on Time Flys (Preview) My son has been sober for a year now. But that doesnt say a whole lot because he doesnt have a program so is growing very slow as far as picking up new habits and characteristics. As for me I have just been glad I have not had to deal with him. I now realize how exhausted I was after all those years of trying to &q...	LinSC	3	558	Dec 7, 2014 by hotrod
	Is there any hope? (Preview) My AH just went into rehab on Monday after we had a huge fight and I kicked him out of the house. He said so many mean things over the weekend and then by Sunday and Monday came back to his senses and decided he really did need help. I just don't know if I am fooling myself thinking that well if he really stays so...	Helpangel	9	868	Dec 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	THE "WHAT IF'S" (Preview) Because of the what if's that I am experiencing this Christmas season, because of my son's past drinking. I hesitate to go visit him and family. Although he has been sober for over a year, does not have a program and has not grown a lot in his problem solving capabilities. But I want to see my Grand baby! He...	LinSC	9	820	Dec 7, 2014 by Debilyn
	All of a sudden (Preview) So, all of a sudden AH is worried about the finances. Claims his job is on the line, that we will be out of savings by the spring, that he just has to find a way to figure this whole mess out.....Of course, I've been managing the finances for the past few years so there's a lot of guilt in my head right now abou...	andromeda	26	1018	Dec 7, 2014 by andromeda
	Holiday Stress (Preview) Well the Holidays are here again. And so is the stress for me. When I was growing up my mother loved Christmas and my father spoiled just about everyone by being drunk and passed out somewhere. Now I have continued the cycle by marrying an alcoholic and trying to make the holidays perfect for the kids...	slowlearner	8	961	Dec 7, 2014 by el-cee
	who is it hardest on? (Preview) Hi folks, I'm new here. I am an adult child of an alcoholic father. He has been gone a very long time now. My partner's sister and her husband were also alcoholics. They had 2 kids, who are 13 years apart. I am very close to both boys. The older child was about 12 when his parents' drinking got completely out...	Cloudchaser	15	888	Dec 7, 2014 by aquamom23
	Help needed for loss, please! (Preview) My ill Mom was placed in hospice today and I'm so overwhelmed and flooded with emotions. It seems like a long, drawn out process and yet things are moving way too quickly and there is no way to prepare for loss and all that goes with it. No matter how many times I revisit, it will be life on life's terms bu...	bud	25	900	Dec 6, 2014 by PP
	STEP 9 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 9 has been posted to the Step Board Please share your ESH if you like.Here is the web site addy http://stepwork.a...	hotrod	0	428	Dec 6, 2014 by hotrod
	trying to get from this to that (Preview)	el-cee	7	443	Dec 6, 2014 by PP
	still here, gleaning from ya'lls posts... (Preview) Hi! things have been so crazy busy here but I am able to come and read every once in a while and it always seems to be what I need to hear! I am so thankful for ya'll and this board. I have not been working my program lately because I am as stubborn and in denial as my AH and let's face it, it's way easier to backsli...	Fairlee	5	656	Dec 5, 2014 by neshema2
	Feeling empathy (Preview) I am realizing more and more each day how sick my husband is and I have more empathy for him than I used to. Living apart from him has really opened my eyes. He is incapable of working. He is in denial about our home foreclosing. I spoke to him tonight and just told him I understand. I have complained a lot to o...	Newlife girl	8	622	Dec 5, 2014 by hotrod
	Thought I should check to see if the stove was still hot. (Preview) Daughter went away to her dad's over the weekend. I decided, this time, maybe it would be good if I drove some of the way (I still haven't ventured far from home) then parked, caught the train the rest of the way, back to my car and drive home again. Great idea huh? Remember, it's about 8-9 hours on public tr...	missmeliss	17	892	Dec 5, 2014 by Luiza
	What are these "slips" you speak of? (Preview) Now I am old school Al Anon, AA. A slip was no such thing. You did a drug, you relapsed and your days start all over again. Even if you had ten years in, you were at day one. I consider a slip a step on the road to total relapse. Would like to hear from others . please? pinkchip? Other double winners? everyone?...	Debilyn	16	1452	Dec 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Want to learn how to stop enabling (Preview) Hi all, My situation is difficult, because my significant other and I are having to work together to stay afloat financially, but he's not doing his share. He's addicted to the internet, really really addicted. He was forced to semi-retire June 2013, but still works freelance. His pension is basi...	zebrafish	15	874	Dec 5, 2014 by grateful2be
	Boy am I angry! (Preview) It hit last night,I was washing dishes,I started slamming the dishes and I started crying,I have been feeling a lot of things,really painful things and I have to say I deserve better than this crap!All of a sudden I realize I have believed the lies I learned from my father.He was horrible to me,he treat...	mjferg	11	749	Dec 5, 2014 by andromeda
	making a decision and follow through (Preview) Good morning my Al-Anon family. I missed my weekly face to face meeting yesterday because I have bronchitis. Our meeting was cancelled last week due to it falling on Thanksgiving, so I'm feeling it. I'm finding myself going back to step 3 often. "Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over...	cloudyskies	2	734	Dec 5, 2014 by cloudyskies
	honesty and acceptance (Preview) Well I certainly have been in a mood lately,and I am tired of it!I have been reading about acceptance and I realize I haven't really been accepting where I am at the moment and that is causing me a lot of turmoil in my head.I have been blaming my ex for all my problems.So if he is responsible for all that is wr...	mjferg	5	611	Dec 5, 2014 by mjferg
	Giant Baby - how long does it last? (Preview) So I often sit and wonder, how long does the giant baby inside syndrome last....it seems sometimes I am expected to overlook a whole lot of selfish, immature, baby emotions, reactions, etc. with my A and I can for the most part, but how long does it take for them to get to oh I don't know maybe someone past t...	Flower49	13	989	Dec 5, 2014 by pinkchip
	Making time for me... (Preview) Three weeks ago I got the A in my life out of my house. We are in two separate states now, and he has begun to go to AA meetings where he is. I am not nearly as concerned about his recovery as I am about my own. I find I have some old habits that are hard to break. I find I make myself responsible for his emotions...	skarlett	12	689	Dec 4, 2014 by ladee
	Need some support (Preview) It has been a little while since I've posted. I have been in a bit of a holding pattern for the past month and a half,waiting on my attorney to file the divorce papers. (long story why). AH has been pushing hard for a reconciliation over the past month. I unfortunately have been wishy-washy with him. ...	Tossed Salad	11	644	Dec 4, 2014 by neshema2
	My Story (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to all of this and warn in advance this will probably be quite long. I am 29 and divorced with three children. I was born into a diseased and mentally ill family. My father was an addict- heroine, crack, alcohol, all of it. He moved my brother and I all over and other than that we lived in...	kspec85	5	571	Dec 4, 2014 by Mattie
	it stinks being sick... (Preview) I have been both sick & tired lately. I guess I was again even concerned about my sanity. One thing is for sure that I have a virus that cannot be fixed by any kind of medicine or anti-biotic at all. I am just grateful that I think I am on the better end of it. I think I am going to survive. Sleep on the other h...	Hoot Nanny	1	411	Dec 4, 2014 by andromeda
	My first post (Preview) I've been reading these forums for awhile now, and I am ready to share my story. I'm not sure what it is, exactly, I'm looking for though. Maybe just to vent? Maybe for some words of encouragement? Maybe advice? Maybe to know that I'm not alone.... Anyways, I'll start from the beginning. Here it g...	frustrationshigh	9	717	Dec 4, 2014 by neshema2
	Truly Devastating ! (Preview) I have never been on a chat room of any type before and I am trying to think of how to summarize the story of the devastation my family has been through over the past two years. For whatever reason, TODAY was the day I was inspired to start researching alanon? Don't know why today...but here I am. I welco...	chatz	11	617	Dec 4, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Thoughts on reestablishing contact w/ a--with given boundaries (Preview) I have written many letters to my A during the last 6 months of our break up, none of which I have sent. This last one, I have been considering. It is basically an attempt to reach out and reestablish contact, on the premise to have closure and resolution for our messy break up, with the condition that he is...	astallaslions	10	584	Dec 3, 2014 by neshema2
	Feeling connected to each other and my balance with al-anon (Preview) Since I have found al-anon I feel more balanced and connected to my fellow human beings, whether it is a homeless person, an addict, a child, or someone of means. I can see myself in them and them in me even if I like or dislike what they are doing. I have learned when I usually have a strong reaction to anoth...	Breakingfree	6	682	Dec 3, 2014 by neshema2
	Friendships (Preview) I have been in alanon for 3 years and it seems like I am getting more program friends and less friends outside the program. Is this something that starts to happen in your lives? I let go of one friendship who was really narcissistic and everything was all about her so I feel good about leaving that frie...	willowtree	6	286	Dec 3, 2014 by Debilyn
	How to QTIP (Preview) Quit Taking it Personally... How? If I think the smallest things are personal? But maybe they aren't and the problem is in my head? How to know the difference?	Luiza	21	2479	Dec 3, 2014 by el-cee
	Boundaries (Preview) When someone chooses to not respect you, you choose to do it for them. XA is now becoming more public with his new gf. (the counsellor from the detox centre) There are just so many things not right about this on so many levels. My rights were never respected nor were the rights of my kids. This tells me 2 thi...	Mari1978	8	621	Dec 3, 2014 by hotrod
	i can't seem to get away (Preview) I got a call from the police at 5AM on Sunday morning. My AH was calling saying there were intruders at the house. They arrived but couldn't find him. Could I come over? We have been separated for 4 years. I've tried to move on. Leaving the home I love and the man I once loved to find a serene place for myself....	alexmaui	7	762	Dec 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	What's best for kids (Preview) Just wondering if anyone has info on studies about what is best for kids. I know this is a huge generalization I am asking about, but I have been wondering if it is better for them to be in a house with a father who can't keep it together, and annoys them to the point they don't respect or want to be around him -...	oceanpine	21	901	Dec 3, 2014 by Jerry F
	the holiday are just starting! (Preview) My drunk has had the whole week off for the holiday.I shouldn't be feeling like "I can't wait until he goes back to work". I caught him drinking at 8:45 this morning but I'm sure he's done that all week.He got up before I did one day and was gone before 8:30.I got up while he was gone.He came back 4...	pixie	16	950	Dec 2, 2014 by pixie
	another perspective (Preview) A man I know has just died of alcoholism a couple of days ago. I didnt know the man very well, I know his daughter, who is my daughters friend. His life has been going down the pan for years now. His mother was an alcoholic, his siblings are alcoholics, his other daughter is an alcoholic. He was only in his e...	el-cee	13	435	Dec 2, 2014 by el-cee
	feelings of inadequacy (Preview) The last few days have been a roller coaster of emotions,from depression to fear to sadness ,and feeling angry.I think about my life and the challenges I face and I feel frightened and small.But when I was with my ex I was super responsible,made sure the bills were paid,hid money,had all kinds of plans...	mjferg	9	672	Dec 2, 2014 by el-cee
	Detachment with Love (Preview) "Many of us justify our actions by telling ourselves that we're good people who love others, care about them, and do what we do for their own good. When we first hear about detachment, we might think it requires us to stop loving and stop caring. But detachment with love doesn't mean that we cease to ca...	John	16	2294	Dec 2, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Gaming addiction (Preview) happy thanksgiving ;) it's been a while since I have posted here. I need some esh. I live with my sig other and his 17 year old stepson. The 17 year old young man has a serious gaming addiction. He often times misses school because of his gaming addiction. His father recently started taking the modem on s...	karma13	6	2304	Dec 2, 2014 by LinSC
	feeling confused.step 4 related (Preview) I do tend to get stuck on inventory. I've done some terrible things. I really do need a sponsor so I can admit my shortcomings and move forward. Is this about responsibility? By that I mean, is it possible that through alcoholism, something that could have been great, got trampled into the mud,and I nee...	aquamom23	6	513	Dec 2, 2014 by PP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.