Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This was the topic of our meeting last night: For what are you thankful for this past year and/or what do you hope or look forward to for 2015? I am thankful for: - Getting to be with my AD on Christmas Day after only seeing her once this whole year. She looked healthy and there was no drama. - I have started a n...

mjferg · mjferg

I can't believe that last night I was sitting in a room at my college orientation!Yes,I did it,I faced a fear.I filled out my forms and went to school.It wasn't too long ago my life was filled with hopelessness and pain.I am not kidding,when I started this I thought I was beyond hope.My journey hasn't be...

deacon · deacon

We have watched him deteriorate for the last ten years. He has lost the love of most family members due to his alcoholic behavior. A month ago his wife said, " Enough, I want a divorce!" And then I think he found out how many bridges he had burned over the years because no one wanted him to move in...

el-cee · el-cee

I know there is a sticky above but i don't usually bother with them often, sorry but true. Ive just been to one and they are so good. This can be a difficult time of year for us type of people so these are another tool where you can connect with like minded people.x They are every three hours right through unt...

andromeda · andromeda

AH wants to go over how we're going to split things up and I have no idea how or where to start. After 20 years of marriage, we have 'stuff'. I'm not a clutter person but we do seem to have more than I need and I know he also wants to split up the finances and talk about that too. I give it thought constantly bu...

lizzieo35 · lizzieo35

Ok so taking everyone's advice I decided that today's the day and I found a meeting in my town that's on tonight so I told him I will b going out he asked where and I was very reluctant to tell him where but I did in the end!!! What a mistake!!!!! I am not allowed to go as he might know someone there!!! I tried to e...

tiredmummy · tiredmummy

OK So I grew up with an Alcoholic father who stopped drinking when I was 13 with 1 relapse. I then meet my 1st husband when I was 15 turned out he was a drug addict and we split when I was 19 a few weeks later I met my husband! He drank but not like my dad who was a binge drinker (bottles of vodka etc for weeks) so I di...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, the good news is daughter and I just watched the Hobbit and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay! Tomorrow she returns to her fathers for 2 weeks. Anyway my housemate lady has been super mega unfriendly to me and it's been very uncomfortable and today I confronted her about it and she admitted her son wants...

neshema2 · neshema2

My beloved sponsor is in a big jam: in Sept. she, with this older, very obese, not the healthiest guy started a Mushroom business....Yes, the delicious things you see in salads, on steaks, etc......they began this gig together....she sinking in so far nearly 20 grand on cost of goods sold, start up co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This song came on the radio and took me by complete surprise...I started crying my eyes out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk_W29L9lA My ex-husband used to sing it whenever I was sad. It was like a lullaby. Shhh Mel, here, burn one down and let it go... There is a part of me that just wants someone...

ohno · ohno

Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...

neshema2 · neshema2

With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...

Mango · Mango

Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...

el-cee · el-cee

I went to a good meeting yesterday, i must have been extra open to the good stuff because i keep thinkjng about the little nuggets i heard and i want to share them here. An old timer was saying how alanon is a gift but its not a gift that requires no looking after. Once you have alanon, you need to work it to kee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hey everyone. sick of me yet? Lol I am posting an awful lot aren't I. I have been pretty isolated recently and not wanting to leave my room due to the unfriendly vibes in the house. I am SO ready to move onwards and upwards!! So today I applied for 4 places. 3 of them are houses with 3 bedrooms and all of them a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I can't take this chaos. I will try to make this quick and to the point. My AH had a relapse of depression/drinking that lasted about a week and a half...ending almost a week ago...hope this time frame makes sense in writing. So this episode was taking place when my girls and I went on our trip to Disneylan...

bud · bud

My Mom left this world in grace last night. I felt blessed to have used my Alanon toolkit and the support of my MIP family to have come though this the best way possible. My Uncle said I could take the photos in her room- he had placed a few of my Mom and Dad and a copy of their wedding album in her room when he fi...

el-cee · el-cee

I hold on to thoughts that are old and out of date and should have been discarded way back somewhere but for some reason, not completely sure, ive held on to them. The idea that because a relationship has lasted a long time it should last forever. Why? Its like one of those ideas or thoughts i had when i was 7...

glad · glad

Not reacting to what other say it's sometimes exhausting to me! A daughter of my finance "indicates" negative things about me (and others), as if she is insulting me through the other person or hoping I'll say something back to defend myself- through others, and get a whole tug of war goi...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been going through so many changes in my life lately, I feel overwhelmed.Some days I freeze into a little ball on my couch afraid to move.I felt that way yesterday,I nearly talked myself out of going to college.I thought maybe it was too much for me, or I couldn't do it.Or I am too old.I won't be able...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I haven't been able to get on here since Monday of last week. So much to say. I am just grateful that I had a really relaxing day. IF it weren't for the yams going everywhere & on my wool coat, it would have been perfect! My AH who tries so hard to make everything come out right & on time, spilled th...

el-cee · el-cee

If you type in alanon speakers on you tube, there are loads to choose from. The shares are from wives, daughters, mothers, sons etc of alcoholics and they are quite indepth, lots of humour as well and if your not convinced alanons for you, you will be after listening to one of these. Put your headphones...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Feeling gratitude. Just came out of my yard from doing bird feeding and plant rescues and some landscaping and more. Also just got off an email from my younger brother who is battling good news turned bad news about his pancreatic cancer. Gonna start chemo/radiation and is asking for prayers of...

glad · glad

jeanmarie-j · jeanmarie-j

I am responding to the results I found when searching for support here with regard to O-Anon (support for families of people struggling with eating disorders/food addictions). I believe this thread was closed by Tom in error... see below: http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40454502/o-anon/ (...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi all I am lying in bed..its Christmas and i just ate a BUNCH of food, polished off 2 butterfingers and i am lying in bed, I've spoken to all my family members and the phone rings..(my cell) I didn't look and just answered the call....maybe it was one who is catching me late, (gee i thought I either initia...

PP · PP

...and I don't need to say more. Peace and love (yes I was raised in the days of Woodstock)

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah became a toxic husband toward me 11 years ago. I am at the stage now I need to face some hard truths. I have looked at my part and my reasons for staying. The marriage kept getting worse not better, no matter what I did or tried to do to improve it. I believe it is the progression of his disease even t...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So last week, my AD joined us for two family gatherings. It was nice to see her again after a year of her choosing not having any contact with me. Her sister invited her to join us for Christmas Eve dinner at a local restaurant. She flatly said "no." She also has chosen not to attend our family ga...

New member asking a question.. · lisalisa

I have been to a few f2f meetings in the last few years. It has helped me a lot. I have been reading here for months. I am just now getting the courage to write. I don't know why I take it all so personal when my son is mean to me, but do. I know in my heart that he can't really mean to be that nasty to his mother...

texas yankee · texas yankee

Ever since he got out of rehab 11 years ago, my son has lived about a 3 hour flight away from me - I'm not sure, but as far as I know he's staying away from his original drug of choice (crystal meth), but he drinks (often to excess) and smokes grass - he's obviously not working any program. I am pretty sure tha...

el-cee · el-cee

I heard this at a meeting today and i thought its a simple way of looking at life. If you want a good attitude then you need to do the gratitude thing. Theres always something to be grateful for, even in the midst of drama and chaos, you just need to look.

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Hello! I mentioned that I had my meeting Friday night. I knew, from past experience, I would go and it would be spot on. Certainly enough it was. We had to move to a different location because we were locked out of our usual room. Our book that has the Welcome and format was also locked in the room but we had a...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, right now I have no money and no job. I don't know where I will be living and I won't know until next week what my school days and times will be for the rest of the year and I haven't had any luck finding summer work either. I don't know why, it's never been difficult before but there must be a reason. But f...

New family member! · pinkchip

Yes, there is a seventh pet now. Meet Nikita (aka Nikki)!

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I will be traveling over 2 hours for a face to face visit with my son. Always scared going to a new and unfamiliar new prison but will take my time and follow all the rules. I just hope I don't get turned away because I didn't do everything right. It's been chilly here so I'm sure I will hea...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay you all know that is Merry Christmas in Hawaiian sooo I can do it in English too. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Just came back from Christmas Shopping for my wife. It was fun because I do insane now on purpose and don't take myself seriously when I act it out. Had a lot of laughs with the very very young sa...

andromeda · andromeda

I have a younger sister who is 8 years younger to be exact. She lives in another state and we weren't very close until she grew up and got married and had kids, etc. We have more in common now anyway. I've always been the overachieving, organized, straight A student in school, career as an adult, respo...

ohno · ohno

As a child, my mother would not let me help her clean the house. I really wanted to contribute, but she would not allow it. There were also no boundaries in our house. My mom taught me it was okay to pop the locks off of any locked door (even her bedroom door, which I did when she was crying) with a butter knife...

Truth · Truth

I got an email from my ex-A ....at the end he says it is obvious you are making your decisions out of spite and jealousy. I have examined my motives so many times that I know I was making a conscious choice from logic. It is just hard to not take it personally... Not so much because it is coming from him but bec...

andromeda · andromeda

My AH disappeared into his room after we opened up presents this AM. He's been amiable and easy to get along with except for his silence to and from church yesterday and how he disappeared for the first 10 minutes of service.... But, honestly, I can't complain. He is now asleep on his bed with his hands...

ohno · ohno

Got news today that my grandson has been discharged from detox and is going to an SLE - within 5 minutes of the phone call, I wanted to start rescuing by bringing him bedding, towels, clothes, etc. Instead, I called someone from an Alanon phone list and was able to let go and have some faith that this is HIS...

ohno · ohno

I am trying to train myself away from my thinking compulsion (in this case about my grandson - it has been other people, that's why I know it is a compulsion). I use thinking to take me away from myself - I guess because I don't find myself that interesting, but the people I am obsessing about seem fascinat...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

Happy New Year! 5 weeks until I can file for divorce. I left my AH in February 2014. I agreed to joint counseling because he swore up down and sideways that he had changed and "everything" was different. Before counseling could begin he was required to attend 90/90. He was also to send 1 text m...

mugwump · mugwump

Hello, completely new here, so please tell me if this is in the wrong place! Long story short(ish)... A year ago, we realised that my Mother-in-Law was drinking. At the time we didn't know how much of a problem it was, until around Easter time, when we realised it was pretty bad, including being drunk at...

lgnutah · lgnutah

It is so hard to live with someone struggling with both mental illness and addiction. Does anyone have words of advice or encouragement for me? Our adult A son has been diagnosed as bi-polar. When he was in his junior year of college he was arrested for a drug charge and went through a court mandated pro...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been staying at a friend's house for a few days so I can attend some business in this area. It's no big deal, this male friend (and his fiance sometimes) have stayed at my house for the same reasons plenty of times in the past and this is the first ever time I have ever returned the favor. The two of them a...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

I've been waiting for the "right" time to separate from my AH - when I had saved more money, after a binge so he'd understand or I was justified, etc but there isn't going to be a right time. He just keeps on doing what he does and when drunk breaks things which costs hundreds to replace (his glas...

lizzieo35 · lizzieo35

I hate Christmas and resent all those people who r posting on fb about their wonderful day with wonderful family!!!! In all fairness yesterday wasn't too bad he didn't drink but only because he had to work last night!!! Today, boxing day, what a different story!!!! I hate him for getting drunk causing...

Dreamer83 · Dreamer83

Oh dear... I don't even know where to start. The past year and a half of my life as been a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My husband has always been a drinker. This I was aware of. In his past life, he also did drugs and got himself straightened out, joined the military and has been very successful. He h...

LicoriceTwist · LicoriceTwist

I cannot find the email acct with my info on it from my posting. ACOA here - been tough night and day. Estranged from kids following divorce - Living with elderly dementia parent and elderly parent. The qualifier started getting sober in may 14 but does not really grasp the program as dementia and al...

mjferg · mjferg

I have decided to go to college and as I have been filling out forms and financial applications I noticed a lot of difficulty with concentrating and just focusing on the task at hand.My poor little brain is all over the place.I am wondering how I will do with studying.I am wondering if living in the chaos...

bud · bud

Thank you so much, dear family, for hanging in there with me. I spent Christmas eve sponge bathing and singing to my Mom as her fever started climbing to 103. I think my Dad felt better that I was there and would see me in the morning too. Finally, finally, my Mom's temperature returned to normal. Ear...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And God has a party .. LOL .. seriously it must be comedy central up there! Merry Christmas as well Happy Holiday's. I have been very very busy .. so what else is new. It's all good and I feel ok. Last night I had some moments and I think it's just going to take a little bit of time and consistency. I am loo...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I married my ex husband in June 2010. By September, he was drinking and drugging (vodka and cocaine) every day, not working, destroying all of our possessions and scaring the poop out of me. He agreed to go to rehab. He stayed for 17 days. He was sober for 57 days. I felt amazing to have my husband bac...

Cooper · Cooper

My side of the family celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve....a small gathering in which every single person there has struggled with or is still struggling with addictions. Every person there knows what my 21 year old son has been going thru the last two years, he is firmly in the grasp of drug and...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter, grandson and their little dog, Marley. Food, games, a ride to look at Christmas lights, ornament making and a few gifts opened. No booze. No drunks. No drama. Just normal family relations. This morning, the family is still sleeping as my daughter's resp...

PP · PP

I need to do something tomorrow that will be very very hard, yet I must. My mom promised us that she would not let my father drive anymore, due to the dementia. He drove to my brothers today and was planning on driving them home. I yelled at my mom that he could not drive; she insisted he was alright to driv...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I've been going to a lot of different FTF Al Anon meetings lately - I was laid off about two years shy of when I had planned to retire, and having had the extra time to attend the additional meetings has helped me to make significant progress in my program - maybe things were getting a bit stale for me with my...

Holly09 · Holly09

I want to wish all of the people here a Very Merry Christmas! I know for many it will be a struggle and I even struggled a little today to have the spirit I used to have I did my best and my children are happy and that's what matters most. Peace to all. Holly

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Gratitude List for 2014 or Personal Goals for 2015 (Preview) This was the topic of our meeting last night: For what are you thankful for this past year and/or what do you hope or look forward to for 2015? I am thankful for: - Getting to be with my AD on Christmas Day after only seeing her once this whole year. She looked healthy and there was no drama. - I have started a n...	Green Eyes	3	627	Jan 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	This is God at work (Preview) I can't believe that last night I was sitting in a room at my college orientation!Yes,I did it,I faced a fear.I filled out my forms and went to school.It wasn't too long ago my life was filled with hopelessness and pain.I am not kidding,when I started this I thought I was beyond hope.My journey hasn't be...	mjferg	9	519	Dec 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lost a BIL to this disease yesterday (Preview) We have watched him deteriorate for the last ten years. He has lost the love of most family members due to his alcoholic behavior. A month ago his wife said, " Enough, I want a divorce!" And then I think he found out how many bridges he had burned over the years because no one wanted him to move in...	deacon	6	656	Dec 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Marathon meetings (Preview) I know there is a sticky above but i don't usually bother with them often, sorry but true. Ive just been to one and they are so good. This can be a difficult time of year for us type of people so these are another tool where you can connect with like minded people.x They are every three hours right through unt...	el-cee	3	429	Dec 31, 2014 by PP
	Splitting things up (Preview) AH wants to go over how we're going to split things up and I have no idea how or where to start. After 20 years of marriage, we have 'stuff'. I'm not a clutter person but we do seem to have more than I need and I know he also wants to split up the finances and talk about that too. I give it thought constantly bu...	andromeda	16	1135	Dec 31, 2014 by PP
	note to self!!!!!! (Preview) Ok so taking everyone's advice I decided that today's the day and I found a meeting in my town that's on tonight so I told him I will b going out he asked where and I was very reluctant to tell him where but I did in the end!!! What a mistake!!!!! I am not allowed to go as he might know someone there!!! I tried to e...	lizzieo35	5	567	Dec 31, 2014 by andromeda
	finished things trying to say strong and not convince myself it wasnt that bad! (Preview) OK So I grew up with an Alcoholic father who stopped drinking when I was 13 with 1 relapse. I then meet my 1st husband when I was 15 turned out he was a drug addict and we split when I was 19 a few weeks later I met my husband! He drank but not like my dad who was a binge drinker (bottles of vodka etc for weeks) so I di...	tiredmummy	7	634	Dec 31, 2014 by Tracy
	Hmmm. (Preview) Well, the good news is daughter and I just watched the Hobbit and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay! Tomorrow she returns to her fathers for 2 weeks. Anyway my housemate lady has been super mega unfriendly to me and it's been very uncomfortable and today I confronted her about it and she admitted her son wants...	missmeliss	16	578	Dec 31, 2014 by aquamom23
	Gotta share this for ME!!!! What a start to the week!!!! (Preview) My beloved sponsor is in a big jam: in Sept. she, with this older, very obese, not the healthiest guy started a Mushroom business....Yes, the delicious things you see in salads, on steaks, etc......they began this gig together....she sinking in so far nearly 20 grand on cost of goods sold, start up co...	neshema2	3	731	Dec 31, 2014 by hotrod
	I'll be your baby tonight. (Preview) This song came on the radio and took me by complete surprise...I started crying my eyes out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk_W29L9lA My ex-husband used to sing it whenever I was sad. It was like a lullaby. Shhh Mel, here, burn one down and let it go... There is a part of me that just wants someone...	missmeliss	7	701	Dec 30, 2014 by neshema2
	Need Tips re: Worrying/Anxiety/Fear (Preview) Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...	ohno	6	871	Dec 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	what am I doing to take care of me (Preview) With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...	neshema2	4	552	Dec 30, 2014 by PP
	How does one go about getting a sponsor? sponsor (Preview) Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...	Mango	6	3777	Dec 30, 2014 by Jerry F
	its a gift (Preview) I went to a good meeting yesterday, i must have been extra open to the good stuff because i keep thinkjng about the little nuggets i heard and i want to share them here. An old timer was saying how alanon is a gift but its not a gift that requires no looking after. Once you have alanon, you need to work it to kee...	el-cee	7	553	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Decisions decisions. (Preview) Hey everyone. sick of me yet? Lol I am posting an awful lot aren't I. I have been pretty isolated recently and not wanting to leave my room due to the unfriendly vibes in the house. I am SO ready to move onwards and upwards!! So today I applied for 4 places. 3 of them are houses with 3 bedrooms and all of them a...	missmeliss	14	732	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	He admits the truth...then says I am punishing him (Preview) I can't take this chaos. I will try to make this quick and to the point. My AH had a relapse of depression/drinking that lasted about a week and a half...ending almost a week ago...hope this time frame makes sense in writing. So this episode was taking place when my girls and I went on our trip to Disneylan...	Newlife girl	14	871	Dec 30, 2014 by PP
	Thank you- I am grateful (Preview) My Mom left this world in grace last night. I felt blessed to have used my Alanon toolkit and the support of my MIP family to have come though this the best way possible. My Uncle said I could take the photos in her room- he had placed a few of my Mom and Dad and a copy of their wedding album in her room when he fi...	bud	16	748	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	out of date thoughts (Preview) I hold on to thoughts that are old and out of date and should have been discarded way back somewhere but for some reason, not completely sure, ive held on to them. The idea that because a relationship has lasted a long time it should last forever. Why? Its like one of those ideas or thoughts i had when i was 7...	el-cee	5	735	Dec 30, 2014 by neshema2
	Wondering what "skill" I may be missing here? (Preview) Not reacting to what other say it's sometimes exhausting to me! A daughter of my finance "indicates" negative things about me (and others), as if she is insulting me through the other person or hoping I'll say something back to defend myself- through others, and get a whole tug of war goi...	glad	4	721	Dec 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	FEAR (Preview) I have been going through so many changes in my life lately, I feel overwhelmed.Some days I freeze into a little ball on my couch afraid to move.I felt that way yesterday,I nearly talked myself out of going to college.I thought maybe it was too much for me, or I couldn't do it.Or I am too old.I won't be able...	mjferg	11	647	Dec 29, 2014 by mjferg
	Christmas was not a nightmare(a little late...) (Preview) So, I haven't been able to get on here since Monday of last week. So much to say. I am just grateful that I had a really relaxing day. IF it weren't for the yams going everywhere & on my wool coat, it would have been perfect! My AH who tries so hard to make everything come out right & on time, spilled th...	Hoot Nanny	1	574	Dec 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	you tube speakers (Preview) If you type in alanon speakers on you tube, there are loads to choose from. The shares are from wives, daughters, mothers, sons etc of alcoholics and they are quite indepth, lots of humour as well and if your not convinced alanons for you, you will be after listening to one of these. Put your headphones...	el-cee	1	899	Dec 29, 2014 by neshema2
	Gifts.... (Preview) Feeling gratitude. Just came out of my yard from doing bird feeding and plant rescues and some landscaping and more. Also just got off an email from my younger brother who is battling good news turned bad news about his pancreatic cancer. Gonna start chemo/radiation and is asking for prayers of...	Jerry F	14	634	Dec 29, 2014 by Jackie11
	take what you like, leave the rest (Preview)	glad	2	597	Dec 29, 2014 by hotrod
	O-Anon (Preview) I am responding to the results I found when searching for support here with regard to O-Anon (support for families of people struggling with eating disorders/food addictions). I believe this thread was closed by Tom in error... see below: http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40454502/o-anon/ (...	jeanmarie-j	8	4410	Dec 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Got caught by the sister!!!! (Preview) Hi all I am lying in bed..its Christmas and i just ate a BUNCH of food, polished off 2 butterfingers and i am lying in bed, I've spoken to all my family members and the phone rings..(my cell) I didn't look and just answered the call....maybe it was one who is catching me late, (gee i thought I either initia...	neshema2	12	683	Dec 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	You Are All Gifts (Preview) ...and I don't need to say more. Peace and love (yes I was raised in the days of Woodstock)	PP	39	789	Dec 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	toxic dry ah (Preview) My dry ah became a toxic husband toward me 11 years ago. I am at the stage now I need to face some hard truths. I have looked at my part and my reasons for staying. The marriage kept getting worse not better, no matter what I did or tried to do to improve it. I believe it is the progression of his disease even t...	Mirandac	23	881	Dec 28, 2014 by Mirandac
	My AD is Not Joining Us for the Holidays (Preview) So last week, my AD joined us for two family gatherings. It was nice to see her again after a year of her choosing not having any contact with me. Her sister invited her to join us for Christmas Eve dinner at a local restaurant. She flatly said "no." She also has chosen not to attend our family ga...	Green Eyes	8	672	Dec 28, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	New member asking a question.. (Preview) I have been to a few f2f meetings in the last few years. It has helped me a lot. I have been reading here for months. I am just now getting the courage to write. I don't know why I take it all so personal when my son is mean to me, but do. I know in my heart that he can't really mean to be that nasty to his mother...	lisalisa	11	772	Dec 28, 2014 by neshema2
	I'm pretty sure I know what I need to do (Preview) Ever since he got out of rehab 11 years ago, my son has lived about a 3 hour flight away from me - I'm not sure, but as far as I know he's staying away from his original drug of choice (crystal meth), but he drinks (often to excess) and smokes grass - he's obviously not working any program. I am pretty sure tha...	texas yankee	12	760	Dec 28, 2014 by grateful2be
	gratitude for attitude (Preview) I heard this at a meeting today and i thought its a simple way of looking at life. If you want a good attitude then you need to do the gratitude thing. Theres always something to be grateful for, even in the midst of drama and chaos, you just need to look.	el-cee	8	541	Dec 28, 2014 by el-cee
	Hope (Preview) Hello! I mentioned that I had my meeting Friday night. I knew, from past experience, I would go and it would be spot on. Certainly enough it was. We had to move to a different location because we were locked out of our usual room. Our book that has the Welcome and format was also locked in the room but we had a...	Jackie11	1	480	Dec 28, 2014 by Mirandac
	More soap (Preview) Well, right now I have no money and no job. I don't know where I will be living and I won't know until next week what my school days and times will be for the rest of the year and I haven't had any luck finding summer work either. I don't know why, it's never been difficult before but there must be a reason. But f...	missmeliss	11	729	Dec 28, 2014 by milkwood
	New family member! (Preview) Yes, there is a seventh pet now. Meet Nikita (aka Nikki)!	pinkchip	20	967	Dec 28, 2014 by Jackie11
	Visit (Preview) Good Morning All I will be traveling over 2 hours for a face to face visit with my son. Always scared going to a new and unfamiliar new prison but will take my time and follow all the rules. I just hope I don't get turned away because I didn't do everything right. It's been chilly here so I'm sure I will hea...	Cathyinaz	15	689	Dec 27, 2014 by hotrod
	Mele Kalikimaka (Preview) Okay you all know that is Merry Christmas in Hawaiian sooo I can do it in English too. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Just came back from Christmas Shopping for my wife. It was fun because I do insane now on purpose and don't take myself seriously when I act it out. Had a lot of laughs with the very very young sa...	Jerry F	13	675	Dec 27, 2014 by Jerry F
	Family and expectations (Preview) I have a younger sister who is 8 years younger to be exact. She lives in another state and we weren't very close until she grew up and got married and had kids, etc. We have more in common now anyway. I've always been the overachieving, organized, straight A student in school, career as an adult, respo...	andromeda	15	785	Dec 27, 2014 by andromeda
	"Cleaning Up" and Boundaries (Preview) As a child, my mother would not let me help her clean the house. I really wanted to contribute, but she would not allow it. There were also no boundaries in our house. My mom taught me it was okay to pop the locks off of any locked door (even her bedroom door, which I did when she was crying) with a butter knife...	ohno	14	579	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Taking it Personally (Preview) I got an email from my ex-A ....at the end he says it is obvious you are making your decisions out of spite and jealousy. I have examined my motives so many times that I know I was making a conscious choice from logic. It is just hard to not take it personally... Not so much because it is coming from him but bec...	Truth	8	589	Dec 27, 2014 by missmeliss
	Instead of resentment: a different perspective (Preview) My AH disappeared into his room after we opened up presents this AM. He's been amiable and easy to get along with except for his silence to and from church yesterday and how he disappeared for the first 10 minutes of service.... But, honestly, I can't complain. He is now asleep on his bed with his hands...	andromeda	8	664	Dec 27, 2014 by lisalisa
	Let's See if I Can Pull Off any Serenity (Preview) Got news today that my grandson has been discharged from detox and is going to an SLE - within 5 minutes of the phone call, I wanted to start rescuing by bringing him bedding, towels, clothes, etc. Instead, I called someone from an Alanon phone list and was able to let go and have some faith that this is HIS...	ohno	10	754	Dec 27, 2014 by ohno
	Thinking Compulsion (Preview) I am trying to train myself away from my thinking compulsion (in this case about my grandson - it has been other people, that's why I know it is a compulsion). I use thinking to take me away from myself - I guess because I don't find myself that interesting, but the people I am obsessing about seem fascinat...	ohno	1	372	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	It's a good thing my meeting is tonight (Preview) Happy New Year! 5 weeks until I can file for divorce. I left my AH in February 2014. I agreed to joint counseling because he swore up down and sideways that he had changed and "everything" was different. Before counseling could begin he was required to attend 90/90. He was also to send 1 text m...	Jackie11	5	713	Dec 27, 2014 by Jackie11
	Newbie needs help!! (Preview) Hello, completely new here, so please tell me if this is in the wrong place! Long story short(ish)... A year ago, we realised that my Mother-in-Law was drinking. At the time we didn't know how much of a problem it was, until around Easter time, when we realised it was pretty bad, including being drunk at...	mugwump	6	367	Dec 27, 2014 by hotrod
	Anyone living with A who also has mental illness? (Preview) It is so hard to live with someone struggling with both mental illness and addiction. Does anyone have words of advice or encouragement for me? Our adult A son has been diagnosed as bi-polar. When he was in his junior year of college he was arrested for a drug charge and went through a court mandated pro...	lgnutah	4	786	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	Because I'm a woman? (Preview) I've been staying at a friend's house for a few days so I can attend some business in this area. It's no big deal, this male friend (and his fiance sometimes) have stayed at my house for the same reasons plenty of times in the past and this is the first ever time I have ever returned the favor. The two of them a...	missmeliss	23	837	Dec 27, 2014 by missmeliss
	The right time (Preview) I've been waiting for the "right" time to separate from my AH - when I had saved more money, after a binge so he'd understand or I was justified, etc but there isn't going to be a right time. He just keeps on doing what he does and when drunk breaks things which costs hundreds to replace (his glas...	Kerrymom	4	657	Dec 27, 2014 by grateful2be
	i hate christmas!!!!! (Preview) I hate Christmas and resent all those people who r posting on fb about their wonderful day with wonderful family!!!! In all fairness yesterday wasn't too bad he didn't drink but only because he had to work last night!!! Today, boxing day, what a different story!!!! I hate him for getting drunk causing...	lizzieo35	17	757	Dec 27, 2014 by Kerrymom
	How do I let go? (Preview) Oh dear... I don't even know where to start. The past year and a half of my life as been a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My husband has always been a drinker. This I was aware of. In his past life, he also did drugs and got himself straightened out, joined the military and has been very successful. He h...	Dreamer83	10	784	Dec 26, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Hello again (Preview) I cannot find the email acct with my info on it from my posting. ACOA here - been tough night and day. Estranged from kids following divorce - Living with elderly dementia parent and elderly parent. The qualifier started getting sober in may 14 but does not really grasp the program as dementia and al...	LicoriceTwist	10	535	Dec 26, 2014 by LicoriceTwist
	My brain is bouncy (Preview) I have decided to go to college and as I have been filling out forms and financial applications I noticed a lot of difficulty with concentrating and just focusing on the task at hand.My poor little brain is all over the place.I am wondering how I will do with studying.I am wondering if living in the chaos...	mjferg	2	353	Dec 26, 2014 by mjferg
	Angry with myself (Preview) Thank you so much, dear family, for hanging in there with me. I spent Christmas eve sponge bathing and singing to my Mom as her fever started climbing to 103. I think my Dad felt better that I was there and would see me in the morning too. Finally, finally, my Mom's temperature returned to normal. Ear...	bud	8	484	Dec 26, 2014 by bud
	I make plans .. (Preview) And God has a party .. LOL .. seriously it must be comedy central up there! Merry Christmas as well Happy Holiday's. I have been very very busy .. so what else is new. It's all good and I feel ok. Last night I had some moments and I think it's just going to take a little bit of time and consistency. I am loo...	SerenityRUS	4	554	Dec 26, 2014 by Jackie11
	I can't believe this is happening again! (Preview) I married my ex husband in June 2010. By September, he was drinking and drugging (vodka and cocaine) every day, not working, destroying all of our possessions and scaring the poop out of me. He agreed to go to rehab. He stayed for 17 days. He was sober for 57 days. I felt amazing to have my husband bac...	Mlkiss75	18	1124	Dec 26, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	I just need to scream...... (Preview) My side of the family celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve....a small gathering in which every single person there has struggled with or is still struggling with addictions. Every person there knows what my 21 year old son has been going thru the last two years, he is firmly in the grasp of drug and...	Cooper	14	713	Dec 26, 2014 by neshema2
	Merry Christmas! (Preview) I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter, grandson and their little dog, Marley. Food, games, a ride to look at Christmas lights, ornament making and a few gifts opened. No booze. No drunks. No drama. Just normal family relations. This morning, the family is still sleeping as my daughter's resp...	grateful2be	38	706	Dec 26, 2014 by grateful2be
	Tomorrow will be tough (Preview) I need to do something tomorrow that will be very very hard, yet I must. My mom promised us that she would not let my father drive anymore, due to the dementia. He drove to my brothers today and was planning on driving them home. I yelled at my mom that he could not drive; she insisted he was alright to driv...	PP	4	538	Dec 26, 2014 by milkwood
	The perspective from the other room . . . (Preview) I've been going to a lot of different FTF Al Anon meetings lately - I was laid off about two years shy of when I had planned to retire, and having had the extra time to attend the additional meetings has helped me to make significant progress in my program - maybe things were getting a bit stale for me with my...	texas yankee	2	511	Dec 26, 2014 by Jerry F
	Merry Christmas (Preview) I want to wish all of the people here a Very Merry Christmas! I know for many it will be a struggle and I even struggled a little today to have the spirit I used to have I did my best and my children are happy and that's what matters most. Peace to all. Holly	Holly09	3	350	Dec 26, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.