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My husband has said he wants to they inpatient rehab. He thinks he is too weak to do aa again as a free person. Is this a new trick? His reason he says is our family. Particularly daddies girl, who truly is very attached to both of us and her family in general. I'm too raw to know how to respond to this. Thoughts family?
What would it be a trick to try to get? It sounds as if he recognizes how powerful alcohol really is. I hope that means he's determined to make recovery work. And that your own recovery is in the cards too. Take good care of yourself.
Hi AQ it is a confusing time. You a the re one that you must continue to maintain the focus on yourself and your own needs.
If hubby feels that inpatient rehab is best for him and his recovery, then I would encourage him to do so. There is no guarantee that inpatient will work better but if he is convinced that this is so,then he should give it a try. I would wish himwell and continue to take care myself and my children
Thank you. I don't want back on the merry go round. I don't want to be cold and uncaring, but I am trying to work my own stuff out. He will need my help though to get in. No one is into recovery in the background we share. I suppose I can hand hold him to the door. Hell I'd do that for a stranger. The rest is not mine.
When my husband decided to go to rehab we were separated. He asked if I would accompany him to the initial assessment. I took the time I needed to mull it over and decided I would go because it felt like the right thing to do. I had no regrets about my choice and was able to stay neutral about his choice. You will know what feels right....keep with your program and the merry go round won't be an issue.
Hi AQ it is a confusing time. You are the one that you must continue to maintain the focus on yourself and your own needs.
If hubby feels that inpatient rehab is best for him and his recovery, then I would encourage him to do so. There is no guarantee that inpatient will work better but if he is convinced that this is so ,he could give it a try. I would wish them well and continue to take care myself and my children
I agree.....i can't add anymore to this very spot on post, so i will just send you hugs of support and urge you to get into some meets., let him do what he thinks he has to do, you are powerless over him anyway, so hopefully you will get into some meetings and save yourself.........glad you reached out to alanon
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hi, am. One of the things I've discovered about myself is how much I want to believe what somebody tells me. I learned I can be easily hooked out of myself and reality by trusting the spoken word of another. I am much more able now to listen to what someone says and watch what they do than I was once upon a time. I can better catch my mind hopping out of today into the future than I once could. If today, my AS isn't in rehab, those are the facts I believe. I can hear his words "I am going to..." without reaction because I know that to say it is not the same as to do it. Then, I go on with my day and my program work that helps me do what I need to do for me during my day.
Not a trick probably, but still in the haze and deluded thinking of active alcoholism. He may recognize he needs to go to inpatient to get some time sober again. Can't say if he thinks inpatient rehab will fix him and that it's an option to take "instead" of AA. It's not. Inpatient rehab is for people that cannot get enough sober time to even get to AA meetings consistently. It is for people that have so many complications and other mental health issues that they need that month or more to address them before even having a shot in AA. They still need to go to AA during and after rehab.
Concentrate on your own recovery if you can. Recovery, seems to me to be a personal decision that comes from a surrender of some sort. If he needs his hands held then maybe hes not ready yet. I hope he is and i hope you continue on your journey, thats the only one you have any say in really.
To further what Pinkchip said, my AW went into her second rehab last year, in fact she got out of rehab one year ago tomorrow. They took her to 60 meetings in 30 days. Twice a day she got into the rehab van, went to a meeting, and then did even more intensive work outside of meetings. She learned and finally appreciated the difference between physically sober and emotionally sober (as opposed to dry drunk). It certainly wasn't seen as "an alternative" to AA, it was seen as a means to be able to detox, get a clear head, get away from triggers from the outside world, and get a sure footing into AA, hopefully a sponsor as well. There was very little I had to do once she was in. Except go to family class, which is where I discovered i had to work on my own recovery.
She is still sober today. But it took two rehabs and a lot of work from her to get her there.
