I'm sorry it didn't work out for you or the dogs. I am glad the dogs will have a place to go from your place.

On the subject of being old - hmmmmmmmm. In my humble opinion, you are seasoned, wise and a sage.

On the subject of your AH, I get you hating this disease and the destruction it wreaks. I'm sorry you're feeling low today, Debilyn. I can't change any of your circumstances for you, Debilyn, but it matters to me that you're feeling lonely and in need of affection. (((Sister)))

I'll be 66 in January.  I can't do what I used to do either and I love the senior discounts.  I also love the luxury of sleeping in if I choose, those precious naps you told me to take when I retired, and the shrinking of the ego.  I still think we should invite the gang to your place for barn dances and maybe a sing-a-long from old Woodstock music.  I'd love to sing one of Country Joe and The Fish's old numbers. 

 

 

We're not OLD!!  We're time challenged.   LOL   (((((My younger sisters)))))

Im sorry debilyn, its a lot to accept. The disease is a taker and im glad it hasnt taken more from you and your still here and the animals you do have appreciate that. Keep your chin up, look around at what you do have, look at that pig, if thats not enough to put a smile on your face then i dont know what is.x

((((Debilyn))))

The disease is a taker, and selfish.  I hope you find some things today that give you solace.  I hope you know how your caring heart has helped so many others, myself included.

Prayers for you

Mary

I know Betty. there is so much I wanted to do. But sure don't want to break now do we?

Always knew to not take on more than I could handle. All of a sudden I cannot handle anymore at all.

Boarding those horses was a nightmare, the piglets were tough.  Then this dog thing. I don't have it anymore.

Lost my passion. Who am I now?

Put on my fb, bad enough my dogs are always underfoot, Piggy is always leaning on me from the back of my legs. Then today I turned and tripped over my tortoise Henry, cut and broke my little toe! He is following me all over! He is my growing sulcata tortoise.

used to the body changes now. Losing my passion is a drag. I only share things here, then feel bad as I feel I have sounded depressed and complaining for too long.

I am so lonely. If I hear family this or family that again I will throw up. Have tried to call my son 3 times.

He doesn't need mommy bugging him.

Keep asking myself why, what does it matter? I am doing a day at a time, one foot in front of the other, but where am I going?

I know there are other lonely people who have no one, on here too. I wish I would snap back again. Its strange> i will be waking up, feel so comfy in my down bed,warm doggies all nestled around me. I will have this neat warm feeling. Then as I wake up the darkness takes over. It may be that in my dreams I am never alone.

though I had a horrible dream that xah was with this creepy people and they were trying to shoot me up with Heroin. I was trying to get away, and trying to protect my dogs. ugh.

If I talk to hp before I sleep I don't have nightmares.

I was wondering if what I suffer is ptsd? How many times can one lose loved ones and not go nuts?

Oh well it will get better. I have all these silly dogs I enjoy.

I have a nice black metal futon for my two big dogs. Just dragged in my black metal chair futon that folds down in to a nice bed. I put nice bedding on it. Now i can toss my two chi's on it and my little brown doggy. sometimes three tiny dogs can be very heavy on  my chest...

I am all over the place. Rock is coming tomorrow morn. It will be tight, I just cannot live in this mud like this. Its horrible. Well its better than living in town on cement though!

Even though I know it had to go away, I miss Stephen so much it still hurts inside. He was my friend for so long. Why did he have to ruin it? I cannot go back to that friendship. I can't.

Man he did a number on me.

My first husband at least I knew he loved me more than anyone. I know that. He didn't lie or manipulate. Was such a fun southern boy. Wish he would have had time to grow up.

Am so tired of walking around with this huge hole in my gut.

 

I do so understand Deb. This time of year "the missing" becomes more intense and the early sunsets depressing. You are loved and treasured my friend.

Please keep connecting and sharing . Your ESH is invaluable.

Hugs, Deb.  Knowing our limitations is good.  That is true at any age.  And I don't mean to be dismissive of your sadness about the dogs or about losing your A.

But I did see this wonderful program that was on TV in Britain.  The host was Mariella Frostrup, if you can find it.  They put a number of people in their 80s and 90s in a house for an experiment.  I believe the woman who designed the experiment was from Harvard.  They treated all the people as if they were 30-40 years younger.  By the end, the ones who had refused to carry their suitcases up the stairs because they were "old now" were lugging the suitcases around, the man who danced and did choreography was dancing again, and the 90-year-old who had always raised dogs, but had given them up because he was too old, had another dog.  It was wonderful to see.  Incredibly inspirational.

So knowing that certain dogs are too much for you, and certain kinds of walking or repairing are too much for you, is excellent.  But I'd bet there are some dogs and some fix-its that are right for you, and that those will come along.  I can imagine an aged chihuahua couldn't outwalk you!    My point is that none of us should think that it's all-or-nothing.  We always have limitations, whatever our stage or condition.  But we always have things we can do, too.  More hugs!