Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mattie · Mattie

I'm wondering if any of you have ESH on dealing with repeated anger. I mean my own anger. I am a pretty reactive and emotional person anyway, so I think I have an underlying tendency to have strong responses. But on a day-to-day basis I don't feel angry and I don't express any anger. But then from time to...

mjferg · mjferg

So today is my first day of college,I am excited about it.I have been thinking about coming out of chaos and starting a normal routine,that is going to be different,also not getting overwhelmed and staying with my therapy and meetings,I guess finding balance.And what about sabotage,my therapist a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today my AH saw our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks. he was drinking for about a week or so of those two weeks, so i kept her safe with me. i told him i no longer wanted her to spend the night with him...due to his drinking habits and the fact i just cant trust him not to drink. so tonight he tried to convinc...

el-cee · el-cee

My alcoholic ex was my enemy for years. I gave him that role in my life while we were together at times and when we split up before i got alanon. Hes not my enemy hes never been my enemy. Its my perception thats changed. I think working the alanon program takes us on a a journey to a place of balance. My view of m...

12 Steps for Family Members · Belle7

is there a way for family members to use the 12 steps for our own support?

AWSmith · AWSmith

They say that the stages of grieving are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can state definitively that I'm at acceptance. I have accepted that alcohol has consumed my poor, pregnant (with twins), facing DUI mental health court, drug tested 2x a month by the state wife who i...

milkwood · milkwood

A nice gentle start, dancing to Perfect Day by Susan Boyle (kind of dance meets tai-chi - perhaps I should have had a paint brush in hand?!!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrQobQMZYnY

glad · glad

Am I behaving a certain way toward others and living amends or am I living in Guilt Shame and Regret? One of my Al anon friends mentioned that doing certain things with others was living amends for her past behavior. I liked this a lot and it made me want to do certain things for my daughters who are now an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm definitely asking for my prayer warriors tonight .. I don't know what the catalyst has been however my ex has fully lost his mind and is from what I can tell actively acting out. It must have been a hell of a fight with the wife to be. He's thinking he can't get married, and he can so of course this is al...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight, I went to yet another place to dance. This time I didn't wait around on a friend who invited me and then forgot it because of a major upset in her life. I went by myself. I didn't struggle to do it. I just did it. I got to my gym where Ballroom Dancing Lessons were being held. As usual, more wome...

Heisenberg · Heisenberg

Hi all - I only started posting a few days ago, but already seeing a lot of great info here :) Story goes that me and the AGF are trying to "work things out" (it's a cyclical thing at this point) but this time we both committed to it much more seriously. Today was a fine day, we both worked normal ho...

BlueSky · BlueSky

My AH has been in recovery for 4 years. He goes to meetings almost daily, has 1 or 2 sponsees, not sure if he still works with a sponsor-he never mentions it if he does-and has not relapsed BUT he is still very much like a dry drunk. He has very little ability to handle any type of uncomfortable feelings and o...

ohno · ohno

I have learned NOT to share my true feelings because of the volatile reactions it generates in the alcoholic. This is problematic for me. When a person is "in the disease" is not the time to process stuff, share your true feelings of how they are impacting you, etc., - because they don't care...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I have tried Al Anon and individual therapy in the past and I continue to struggle so I thought I should give it another shot as I am determined to make 2015 a better year. Here's my story. Several years ago, I met my soon to be ex-husband. Our relationship in the beginning was nothing short of a fairy ta...

texasgal · texasgal

2014 was a year of changes new job, new city, and a divorce. My life has changed for the better. My past life seems like a dream. I am no longer allowing verbal or physical abuse and no more manipulation from my exAH. And thank goodness I never had children with him I never have to talk to him again. I'm grate...

neshema2 · neshema2

Expectations are premeditated resentments. I am talking about unrealistic expectations. To have absolutely no expectations breeds hopelessness. I am talking about unrealistic expectations as the causes for resentments. Can I expect my loyal family of choice to be there for me most of the time...

callmemara · callmemara

After 8 years of BS. Of broken promises, of emotional abuse, of hell, of everything that you all know so well so I won't go into all the details in this post. I finally reached my breaking point this weekend and I asked him to move out on Monday- I gave him 30 days to get out- the house is in my name only so I cann...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your insights as they are important to each persons re...

New Member - Relationship Issues · Heisenberg

Hi All, New to the board, but not new to living with an AGF. We've actually been engaged for 2+ years, and unfortunately, her drinking started not long after getting engaged. Things were ok for a while, as I was honestly oblivious to the fact she was becoming an alcoholic (and she admits to hiding it for a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been thinking, reading & writing a lot lately & I realized that part of my year was awful but then the end of it ended very well. I am so grateful that 2014 is over but I really am trying not to hang on to the negative things from the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Every day is a blank page to fil...

deacon · deacon

Sis shared something with me that has profoundly moved me. After she had admitted her husband to the hospital,she told the doctor that he was a very heavy drinker, and that they were separating due to his drinking. She stated that she would not be staying with him at the hospital but to call her if nece...

glad · glad

3 plus years after any contact the ex Alcoholic bf sends a friend request, from his face book page with pics of himself and his now long term live in girlfriend. This was a crazy messed up break up where he knew I was in pain and I chased him, there is no doubt in my mind he enjoyed the good bye's over a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

2014 was a great year for me. I met a wonderful man that is truly a keeper, I finished my first full year of nursing school. My two daughters are healthy and doing well in school and life. We just went on a vacation for 4 days with my boyfriend and both of our kids and it went very well. We ended the year all of us...

Compliments · Compliments

Hello I am thinking i should work the 12 steps , new to Alannon and please forgive me if this is wrong.. We admitted we were powerless over _______--that our lives had become unmanageable. I am powerless over my husbands outburst , I am powerless over his drinking I am powerless over the effect it is ca...

Lyne · Lyne

Happy New Year to all and thank you! I'm a work in progress however, compared to how I was prior to alanon 1 and 1/2 years ago, I have happiness and serenity many days. I am able to look honestly (I'm trying :) and see my shortcomings still, and I want to work them out. Let Go and Let God indeed. The 3 C's he...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

God teaches us to pray for one another. My dearest Al-Anon family I pray God will grant each of you serenity and peace in this New Year. When life becomes a struggle, I pray for our HP's guidance in your lives. I pray God will grant each of you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage...

LinSC · LinSC

Another year has gone by, and I have learned something in Al-Anon. Yes it has taken me years to get to where I am. A little more serene, a little more patient, a little wiser, because of Alanon and all who post there stories and wisdom on this board. Thank You and here is to another year of learning, living r...

DavidG · DavidG

Ah caint hug y'all. And after all its already Jan 2 here in NZ. One of the hotumanawa [hot hearts] of the board Betty I have already hugged you in person so I understand the nature of your warmth. You welcomed me, a stranger~ in my life I was so used to put-downs and let-downs, but you came early to greet me a...

robinfl · robinfl

I've been attending meeting for a few months now. I'm starting to "get it" I am grateful for Al-anon 1st step its a huge monkey off my back recognizing I have no control and giving it to God. I know that I cannot change him and he will never give me what I need. I've released the anger and have tru...

expertatdenial · expertatdenial

I am brand new to this board and in some ways can't believe I'm even writing a post as I've never really told people about the hell I've lived through. I have been married 20 years to an alcoholic who quit drinking 10 years ago this month. Once he made the decision to stop drinking, he never faltered-he'...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi Everyone I had a lesson in :Lettting go and Letting God this week My brother broke his hip last week after a fall in his home. He lives alone and it took him 4 hours to reach the telephone to call for help. He has had a surgery an been transferred to a rehab near his home. I have talked to him several time...

hotrod · hotrod

HAPPY NEW YEAR MIP FAMILY WITH THE HELP OF MY ALANON TOOLS, THIS WILL CONTINUE TO BE MY RENEWED NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION Finish each day and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This was the topic of our meeting last night: For what are you thankful for this past year and/or what do you hope or look forward to for 2015? I am thankful for: - Getting to be with my AD on Christmas Day after only seeing her once this whole year. She looked healthy and there was no drama. - I have started a n...

mjferg · mjferg

I can't believe that last night I was sitting in a room at my college orientation!Yes,I did it,I faced a fear.I filled out my forms and went to school.It wasn't too long ago my life was filled with hopelessness and pain.I am not kidding,when I started this I thought I was beyond hope.My journey hasn't be...

deacon · deacon

We have watched him deteriorate for the last ten years. He has lost the love of most family members due to his alcoholic behavior. A month ago his wife said, " Enough, I want a divorce!" And then I think he found out how many bridges he had burned over the years because no one wanted him to move in...

el-cee · el-cee

I know there is a sticky above but i don't usually bother with them often, sorry but true. Ive just been to one and they are so good. This can be a difficult time of year for us type of people so these are another tool where you can connect with like minded people.x They are every three hours right through unt...

andromeda · andromeda

AH wants to go over how we're going to split things up and I have no idea how or where to start. After 20 years of marriage, we have 'stuff'. I'm not a clutter person but we do seem to have more than I need and I know he also wants to split up the finances and talk about that too. I give it thought constantly bu...

lizzieo35 · lizzieo35

Ok so taking everyone's advice I decided that today's the day and I found a meeting in my town that's on tonight so I told him I will b going out he asked where and I was very reluctant to tell him where but I did in the end!!! What a mistake!!!!! I am not allowed to go as he might know someone there!!! I tried to e...

tiredmummy · tiredmummy

OK So I grew up with an Alcoholic father who stopped drinking when I was 13 with 1 relapse. I then meet my 1st husband when I was 15 turned out he was a drug addict and we split when I was 19 a few weeks later I met my husband! He drank but not like my dad who was a binge drinker (bottles of vodka etc for weeks) so I di...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, the good news is daughter and I just watched the Hobbit and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay! Tomorrow she returns to her fathers for 2 weeks. Anyway my housemate lady has been super mega unfriendly to me and it's been very uncomfortable and today I confronted her about it and she admitted her son wants...

neshema2 · neshema2

My beloved sponsor is in a big jam: in Sept. she, with this older, very obese, not the healthiest guy started a Mushroom business....Yes, the delicious things you see in salads, on steaks, etc......they began this gig together....she sinking in so far nearly 20 grand on cost of goods sold, start up co...

missmeliss · missmeliss

This song came on the radio and took me by complete surprise...I started crying my eyes out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk_W29L9lA My ex-husband used to sing it whenever I was sad. It was like a lullaby. Shhh Mel, here, burn one down and let it go... There is a part of me that just wants someone...

ohno · ohno

Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...

neshema2 · neshema2

With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...

Mango · Mango

Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...

el-cee · el-cee

I went to a good meeting yesterday, i must have been extra open to the good stuff because i keep thinkjng about the little nuggets i heard and i want to share them here. An old timer was saying how alanon is a gift but its not a gift that requires no looking after. Once you have alanon, you need to work it to kee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Hey everyone. sick of me yet? Lol I am posting an awful lot aren't I. I have been pretty isolated recently and not wanting to leave my room due to the unfriendly vibes in the house. I am SO ready to move onwards and upwards!! So today I applied for 4 places. 3 of them are houses with 3 bedrooms and all of them a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I can't take this chaos. I will try to make this quick and to the point. My AH had a relapse of depression/drinking that lasted about a week and a half...ending almost a week ago...hope this time frame makes sense in writing. So this episode was taking place when my girls and I went on our trip to Disneylan...

bud · bud

My Mom left this world in grace last night. I felt blessed to have used my Alanon toolkit and the support of my MIP family to have come though this the best way possible. My Uncle said I could take the photos in her room- he had placed a few of my Mom and Dad and a copy of their wedding album in her room when he fi...

el-cee · el-cee

I hold on to thoughts that are old and out of date and should have been discarded way back somewhere but for some reason, not completely sure, ive held on to them. The idea that because a relationship has lasted a long time it should last forever. Why? Its like one of those ideas or thoughts i had when i was 7...

glad · glad

Not reacting to what other say it's sometimes exhausting to me! A daughter of my finance "indicates" negative things about me (and others), as if she is insulting me through the other person or hoping I'll say something back to defend myself- through others, and get a whole tug of war goi...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been going through so many changes in my life lately, I feel overwhelmed.Some days I freeze into a little ball on my couch afraid to move.I felt that way yesterday,I nearly talked myself out of going to college.I thought maybe it was too much for me, or I couldn't do it.Or I am too old.I won't be able...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, I haven't been able to get on here since Monday of last week. So much to say. I am just grateful that I had a really relaxing day. IF it weren't for the yams going everywhere & on my wool coat, it would have been perfect! My AH who tries so hard to make everything come out right & on time, spilled th...

el-cee · el-cee

If you type in alanon speakers on you tube, there are loads to choose from. The shares are from wives, daughters, mothers, sons etc of alcoholics and they are quite indepth, lots of humour as well and if your not convinced alanons for you, you will be after listening to one of these. Put your headphones...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Feeling gratitude. Just came out of my yard from doing bird feeding and plant rescues and some landscaping and more. Also just got off an email from my younger brother who is battling good news turned bad news about his pancreatic cancer. Gonna start chemo/radiation and is asking for prayers of...

glad · glad

jeanmarie-j · jeanmarie-j

I am responding to the results I found when searching for support here with regard to O-Anon (support for families of people struggling with eating disorders/food addictions). I believe this thread was closed by Tom in error... see below: http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40454502/o-anon/ (...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi all I am lying in bed..its Christmas and i just ate a BUNCH of food, polished off 2 butterfingers and i am lying in bed, I've spoken to all my family members and the phone rings..(my cell) I didn't look and just answered the call....maybe it was one who is catching me late, (gee i thought I either initia...

PP · PP

...and I don't need to say more. Peace and love (yes I was raised in the days of Woodstock)

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry ah became a toxic husband toward me 11 years ago. I am at the stage now I need to face some hard truths. I have looked at my part and my reasons for staying. The marriage kept getting worse not better, no matter what I did or tried to do to improve it. I believe it is the progression of his disease even t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A problem with anger (Preview) I'm wondering if any of you have ESH on dealing with repeated anger. I mean my own anger. I am a pretty reactive and emotional person anyway, so I think I have an underlying tendency to have strong responses. But on a day-to-day basis I don't feel angry and I don't express any anger. But then from time to...	Mattie	10	531	Jan 5, 2015 by grateful2be
	staying focused (Preview) So today is my first day of college,I am excited about it.I have been thinking about coming out of chaos and starting a normal routine,that is going to be different,also not getting overwhelmed and staying with my therapy and meetings,I guess finding balance.And what about sabotage,my therapist a...	mjferg	9	423	Jan 5, 2015 by Fairlee
	I am still punishing him (Preview) Today my AH saw our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks. he was drinking for about a week or so of those two weeks, so i kept her safe with me. i told him i no longer wanted her to spend the night with him...due to his drinking habits and the fact i just cant trust him not to drink. so tonight he tried to convinc...	Newlife girl	14	765	Jan 4, 2015 by Newlife girl
	the alcoholic, the enemy (Preview) My alcoholic ex was my enemy for years. I gave him that role in my life while we were together at times and when we split up before i got alanon. Hes not my enemy hes never been my enemy. Its my perception thats changed. I think working the alanon program takes us on a a journey to a place of balance. My view of m...	el-cee	15	710	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	12 Steps for Family Members (Preview) is there a way for family members to use the 12 steps for our own support?	Belle7	3	420	Jan 4, 2015 by PP
	Acceptance (Preview) They say that the stages of grieving are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can state definitively that I'm at acceptance. I have accepted that alcohol has consumed my poor, pregnant (with twins), facing DUI mental health court, drug tested 2x a month by the state wife who i...	AWSmith	26	1035	Jan 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Day one of thirty…. (Preview) A nice gentle start, dancing to Perfect Day by Susan Boyle (kind of dance meets tai-chi - perhaps I should have had a paint brush in hand?!!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrQobQMZYnY	milkwood	14	532	Jan 4, 2015 by PP
	Guilt Shame and regret vs living amends (Preview) Am I behaving a certain way toward others and living amends or am I living in Guilt Shame and Regret? One of my Al anon friends mentioned that doing certain things with others was living amends for her past behavior. I liked this a lot and it made me want to do certain things for my daughters who are now an...	glad	3	1408	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	Concerns .. (Preview) I'm definitely asking for my prayer warriors tonight .. I don't know what the catalyst has been however my ex has fully lost his mind and is from what I can tell actively acting out. It must have been a hell of a fight with the wife to be. He's thinking he can't get married, and he can so of course this is al...	SerenityRUS	20	611	Jan 4, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Kool and the Gang and a Celebration (Preview) Tonight, I went to yet another place to dance. This time I didn't wait around on a friend who invited me and then forgot it because of a major upset in her life. I went by myself. I didn't struggle to do it. I just did it. I got to my gym where Ballroom Dancing Lessons were being held. As usual, more wome...	grateful2be	22	716	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	When to confront? (Preview) Hi all - I only started posting a few days ago, but already seeing a lot of great info here :) Story goes that me and the AGF are trying to "work things out" (it's a cyclical thing at this point) but this time we both committed to it much more seriously. Today was a fine day, we both worked normal ho...	Heisenberg	13	538	Jan 4, 2015 by aquamom23
	Question for those who left an A spouse (Preview) My AH has been in recovery for 4 years. He goes to meetings almost daily, has 1 or 2 sponsees, not sure if he still works with a sponsor-he never mentions it if he does-and has not relapsed BUT he is still very much like a dry drunk. He has very little ability to handle any type of uncomfortable feelings and o...	BlueSky	5	423	Jan 3, 2015 by neshema2
	How to Be Your True, Real Self When the Alcoholic is Volatile (Preview) I have learned NOT to share my true feelings because of the volatile reactions it generates in the alcoholic. This is problematic for me. When a person is "in the disease" is not the time to process stuff, share your true feelings of how they are impacting you, etc., - because they don't care...	ohno	31	735	Jan 3, 2015 by el-cee
	Rebuilding... (Preview) I have tried Al Anon and individual therapy in the past and I continue to struggle so I thought I should give it another shot as I am determined to make 2015 a better year. Here's my story. Several years ago, I met my soon to be ex-husband. Our relationship in the beginning was nothing short of a fairy ta...	Vivian10	10	374	Jan 3, 2015 by callmemara
	grateful heart â™¡ :) (Preview) 2014 was a year of changes new job, new city, and a divorce. My life has changed for the better. My past life seems like a dream. I am no longer allowing verbal or physical abuse and no more manipulation from my exAH. And thank goodness I never had children with him I never have to talk to him again. I'm grate...	texasgal	6	439	Jan 3, 2015 by el-cee
	Expectations (Preview) Expectations are premeditated resentments. I am talking about unrealistic expectations. To have absolutely no expectations breeds hopelessness. I am talking about unrealistic expectations as the causes for resentments. Can I expect my loyal family of choice to be there for me most of the time...	neshema2	10	1745	Jan 3, 2015 by bud
	He's moving out but how long should I wait? (Preview) After 8 years of BS. Of broken promises, of emotional abuse, of hell, of everything that you all know so well so I won't go into all the details in this post. I finally reached my breaking point this weekend and I asked him to move out on Monday- I gave him 30 days to get out- the house is in my name only so I cann...	callmemara	17	659	Jan 2, 2015 by bud
	Step 11 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your insights as they are important to each persons re...	hotrod	1	434	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
	New Member - Relationship Issues (Preview) Hi All, New to the board, but not new to living with an AGF. We've actually been engaged for 2+ years, and unfortunately, her drinking started not long after getting engaged. Things were ok for a while, as I was honestly oblivious to the fact she was becoming an alcoholic (and she admits to hiding it for a...	Heisenberg	15	835	Jan 2, 2015 by pinkchip
	another year, another chance to start over! (Preview) I have been thinking, reading & writing a lot lately & I realized that part of my year was awful but then the end of it ended very well. I am so grateful that 2014 is over but I really am trying not to hang on to the negative things from the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Every day is a blank page to fil...	Hoot Nanny	1	405	Jan 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Go home and leave the guilt here (Preview) Sis shared something with me that has profoundly moved me. After she had admitted her husband to the hospital,she told the doctor that he was a very heavy drinker, and that they were separating due to his drinking. She stated that she would not be staying with him at the hospital but to call her if nece...	deacon	3	424	Jan 2, 2015 by hotrod
	sometimes technology is a pain! (Preview) 3 plus years after any contact the ex Alcoholic bf sends a friend request, from his face book page with pics of himself and his now long term live in girlfriend. This was a crazy messed up break up where he knew I was in pain and I chased him, there is no doubt in my mind he enjoyed the good bye's over a...	glad	4	716	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
	My year in review and what 2015 brings for me... (Preview) 2014 was a great year for me. I met a wonderful man that is truly a keeper, I finished my first full year of nursing school. My two daughters are healthy and doing well in school and life. We just went on a vacation for 4 days with my boyfriend and both of our kids and it went very well. We ended the year all of us...	Breakingfree	5	435	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
	I am powerless.... (Preview) Hello I am thinking i should work the 12 steps , new to Alannon and please forgive me if this is wrong.. We admitted we were powerless over _______--that our lives had become unmanageable. I am powerless over my husbands outburst , I am powerless over his drinking I am powerless over the effect it is ca...	Compliments	31	935	Jan 2, 2015 by ohno
	Gratitude for all of you! (Preview) Happy New Year to all and thank you! I'm a work in progress however, compared to how I was prior to alanon 1 and 1/2 years ago, I have happiness and serenity many days. I am able to look honestly (I'm trying :) and see my shortcomings still, and I want to work them out. Let Go and Let God indeed. The 3 C's he...	Lyne	8	466	Jan 2, 2015 by Breakingfree
	To my Al-Anon family (Preview) God teaches us to pray for one another. My dearest Al-Anon family I pray God will grant each of you serenity and peace in this New Year. When life becomes a struggle, I pray for our HP's guidance in your lives. I pray God will grant each of you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage...	cloudyskies	6	452	Jan 2, 2015 by glad
	Thanks and Happy New Years (Preview) Another year has gone by, and I have learned something in Al-Anon. Yes it has taken me years to get to where I am. A little more serene, a little more patient, a little wiser, because of Alanon and all who post there stories and wisdom on this board. Thank You and here is to another year of learning, living r...	LinSC	3	380	Jan 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	((((((((((((((((((((((((( Betty )))))))))))))))))))))))) (Preview) Ah caint hug y'all. And after all its already Jan 2 here in NZ. One of the hotumanawa [hot hearts] of the board Betty I have already hugged you in person so I understand the nature of your warmth. You welcomed me, a stranger~ in my life I was so used to put-downs and let-downs, but you came early to greet me a...	DavidG	3	498	Jan 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Confused About Boundries (Preview) I've been attending meeting for a few months now. I'm starting to "get it" I am grateful for Al-anon 1st step its a huge monkey off my back recognizing I have no control and giving it to God. I know that I cannot change him and he will never give me what I need. I've released the anger and have tru...	robinfl	4	513	Jan 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is this a crazy question? Alcoholic husband stopped drinking 10 years ago-what's wrong with me? (Preview) I am brand new to this board and in some ways can't believe I'm even writing a post as I've never really told people about the hell I've lived through. I have been married 20 years to an alcoholic who quit drinking 10 years ago this month. Once he made the decision to stop drinking, he never faltered-he'...	expertatdenial	16	799	Jan 1, 2015 by maryjane
	Letting Go (Preview) Hi Everyone I had a lesson in :Lettting go and Letting God this week My brother broke his hip last week after a fall in his home. He lives alone and it took him 4 hours to reach the telephone to call for help. He has had a surgery an been transferred to a rehab near his home. I have talked to him several time...	hotrod	21	771	Jan 1, 2015 by Lyne
	Happy New Year (Preview) HAPPY NEW YEAR MIP FAMILY WITH THE HELP OF MY ALANON TOOLS, THIS WILL CONTINUE TO BE MY RENEWED NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION Finish each day and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well. Ralph Waldo Emerson	hotrod	15	601	Jan 1, 2015 by likemyheart
	Gratitude List for 2014 or Personal Goals for 2015 (Preview) This was the topic of our meeting last night: For what are you thankful for this past year and/or what do you hope or look forward to for 2015? I am thankful for: - Getting to be with my AD on Christmas Day after only seeing her once this whole year. She looked healthy and there was no drama. - I have started a n...	Green Eyes	3	545	Jan 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	This is God at work (Preview) I can't believe that last night I was sitting in a room at my college orientation!Yes,I did it,I faced a fear.I filled out my forms and went to school.It wasn't too long ago my life was filled with hopelessness and pain.I am not kidding,when I started this I thought I was beyond hope.My journey hasn't be...	mjferg	9	439	Dec 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lost a BIL to this disease yesterday (Preview) We have watched him deteriorate for the last ten years. He has lost the love of most family members due to his alcoholic behavior. A month ago his wife said, " Enough, I want a divorce!" And then I think he found out how many bridges he had burned over the years because no one wanted him to move in...	deacon	6	576	Dec 31, 2014 by Jerry F
	Marathon meetings (Preview) I know there is a sticky above but i don't usually bother with them often, sorry but true. Ive just been to one and they are so good. This can be a difficult time of year for us type of people so these are another tool where you can connect with like minded people.x They are every three hours right through unt...	el-cee	3	345	Dec 31, 2014 by PP
	Splitting things up (Preview) AH wants to go over how we're going to split things up and I have no idea how or where to start. After 20 years of marriage, we have 'stuff'. I'm not a clutter person but we do seem to have more than I need and I know he also wants to split up the finances and talk about that too. I give it thought constantly bu...	andromeda	16	1033	Dec 31, 2014 by PP
	note to self!!!!!! (Preview) Ok so taking everyone's advice I decided that today's the day and I found a meeting in my town that's on tonight so I told him I will b going out he asked where and I was very reluctant to tell him where but I did in the end!!! What a mistake!!!!! I am not allowed to go as he might know someone there!!! I tried to e...	lizzieo35	5	477	Dec 31, 2014 by andromeda
	finished things trying to say strong and not convince myself it wasnt that bad! (Preview) OK So I grew up with an Alcoholic father who stopped drinking when I was 13 with 1 relapse. I then meet my 1st husband when I was 15 turned out he was a drug addict and we split when I was 19 a few weeks later I met my husband! He drank but not like my dad who was a binge drinker (bottles of vodka etc for weeks) so I di...	tiredmummy	7	552	Dec 31, 2014 by Tracy
	Hmmm. (Preview) Well, the good news is daughter and I just watched the Hobbit and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay! Tomorrow she returns to her fathers for 2 weeks. Anyway my housemate lady has been super mega unfriendly to me and it's been very uncomfortable and today I confronted her about it and she admitted her son wants...	missmeliss	16	488	Dec 31, 2014 by aquamom23
	Gotta share this for ME!!!! What a start to the week!!!! (Preview) My beloved sponsor is in a big jam: in Sept. she, with this older, very obese, not the healthiest guy started a Mushroom business....Yes, the delicious things you see in salads, on steaks, etc......they began this gig together....she sinking in so far nearly 20 grand on cost of goods sold, start up co...	neshema2	3	636	Dec 31, 2014 by hotrod
	I'll be your baby tonight. (Preview) This song came on the radio and took me by complete surprise...I started crying my eyes out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk_W29L9lA My ex-husband used to sing it whenever I was sad. It was like a lullaby. Shhh Mel, here, burn one down and let it go... There is a part of me that just wants someone...	missmeliss	7	601	Dec 30, 2014 by neshema2
	Need Tips re: Worrying/Anxiety/Fear (Preview) Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...	ohno	6	738	Dec 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	what am I doing to take care of me (Preview) With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...	neshema2	4	455	Dec 30, 2014 by PP
	How does one go about getting a sponsor? sponsor (Preview) Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...	Mango	6	3383	Dec 30, 2014 by Jerry F
	its a gift (Preview) I went to a good meeting yesterday, i must have been extra open to the good stuff because i keep thinkjng about the little nuggets i heard and i want to share them here. An old timer was saying how alanon is a gift but its not a gift that requires no looking after. Once you have alanon, you need to work it to kee...	el-cee	7	466	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	Decisions decisions. (Preview) Hey everyone. sick of me yet? Lol I am posting an awful lot aren't I. I have been pretty isolated recently and not wanting to leave my room due to the unfriendly vibes in the house. I am SO ready to move onwards and upwards!! So today I applied for 4 places. 3 of them are houses with 3 bedrooms and all of them a...	missmeliss	14	650	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	He admits the truth...then says I am punishing him (Preview) I can't take this chaos. I will try to make this quick and to the point. My AH had a relapse of depression/drinking that lasted about a week and a half...ending almost a week ago...hope this time frame makes sense in writing. So this episode was taking place when my girls and I went on our trip to Disneylan...	Newlife girl	14	789	Dec 30, 2014 by PP
	Thank you- I am grateful (Preview) My Mom left this world in grace last night. I felt blessed to have used my Alanon toolkit and the support of my MIP family to have come though this the best way possible. My Uncle said I could take the photos in her room- he had placed a few of my Mom and Dad and a copy of their wedding album in her room when he fi...	bud	16	653	Dec 30, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	out of date thoughts (Preview) I hold on to thoughts that are old and out of date and should have been discarded way back somewhere but for some reason, not completely sure, ive held on to them. The idea that because a relationship has lasted a long time it should last forever. Why? Its like one of those ideas or thoughts i had when i was 7...	el-cee	5	641	Dec 30, 2014 by neshema2
	Wondering what "skill" I may be missing here? (Preview) Not reacting to what other say it's sometimes exhausting to me! A daughter of my finance "indicates" negative things about me (and others), as if she is insulting me through the other person or hoping I'll say something back to defend myself- through others, and get a whole tug of war goi...	glad	4	621	Dec 30, 2014 by grateful2be
	FEAR (Preview) I have been going through so many changes in my life lately, I feel overwhelmed.Some days I freeze into a little ball on my couch afraid to move.I felt that way yesterday,I nearly talked myself out of going to college.I thought maybe it was too much for me, or I couldn't do it.Or I am too old.I won't be able...	mjferg	11	542	Dec 29, 2014 by mjferg
	Christmas was not a nightmare(a little late...) (Preview) So, I haven't been able to get on here since Monday of last week. So much to say. I am just grateful that I had a really relaxing day. IF it weren't for the yams going everywhere & on my wool coat, it would have been perfect! My AH who tries so hard to make everything come out right & on time, spilled th...	Hoot Nanny	1	491	Dec 29, 2014 by grateful2be
	you tube speakers (Preview) If you type in alanon speakers on you tube, there are loads to choose from. The shares are from wives, daughters, mothers, sons etc of alcoholics and they are quite indepth, lots of humour as well and if your not convinced alanons for you, you will be after listening to one of these. Put your headphones...	el-cee	1	800	Dec 29, 2014 by neshema2
	Gifts.... (Preview) Feeling gratitude. Just came out of my yard from doing bird feeding and plant rescues and some landscaping and more. Also just got off an email from my younger brother who is battling good news turned bad news about his pancreatic cancer. Gonna start chemo/radiation and is asking for prayers of...	Jerry F	14	548	Dec 29, 2014 by Jackie11
	take what you like, leave the rest (Preview)	glad	2	491	Dec 29, 2014 by hotrod
	O-Anon (Preview) I am responding to the results I found when searching for support here with regard to O-Anon (support for families of people struggling with eating disorders/food addictions). I believe this thread was closed by Tom in error... see below: http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40454502/o-anon/ (...	jeanmarie-j	8	3709	Dec 28, 2014 by hotrod
	Got caught by the sister!!!! (Preview) Hi all I am lying in bed..its Christmas and i just ate a BUNCH of food, polished off 2 butterfingers and i am lying in bed, I've spoken to all my family members and the phone rings..(my cell) I didn't look and just answered the call....maybe it was one who is catching me late, (gee i thought I either initia...	neshema2	12	601	Dec 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	You Are All Gifts (Preview) ...and I don't need to say more. Peace and love (yes I was raised in the days of Woodstock)	PP	39	702	Dec 28, 2014 by cloudyskies
	toxic dry ah (Preview) My dry ah became a toxic husband toward me 11 years ago. I am at the stage now I need to face some hard truths. I have looked at my part and my reasons for staying. The marriage kept getting worse not better, no matter what I did or tried to do to improve it. I believe it is the progression of his disease even t...	Mirandac	23	790	Dec 28, 2014 by Mirandac
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.