Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....

drywit44 · drywit44

I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...

el-cee · el-cee

Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...

neshema2 · neshema2

I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...

NayNay · NayNay

New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...

Colibri · Colibri

My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.

Belle7 · Belle7

i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM

robinfl · robinfl

AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...

andromeda · andromeda

Prayers appreciated. I have the butterflies in my stomach. Our son has some math homework to finish and then we'll eat dinner and I think we'll tell him after that. Please pray!

neshema2 · neshema2

all this of late??? I am taking it TOO serious....its not about me, for me, directed at me, I guess my issue was and always will be safety....like if i don't do my program "right" will there be a private group consultation on me???? Thinking about it, I don't believe i am interesting or popul...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I have been on the MIP board for a little over two years. I am grateful for meeting you all, sharing my e/s/h and learning more. Recently, it came to my attention that there is group private messaging going on in the background on our board. I am a direct person and I will say directly that I know I can't st...

jennybee · jennybee

New to this site...just signed up actually. I don't know where else to go with this. Looking for your input please. I have a friend, who is more like my boyfriend, but we're not official in any way. Anyway, he's depressed. He talks about his issues and they seem deep rooted and have existed from a very...

intoit · intoit

Well, its been a long time since Ive written anything on here only because I didnt think I had much to write. I go toone meeting a week in our area which has been invaluable to me.I do however always turn to this board when in dire straits (no meetings over the holiday) - or at least my imagination of it! An...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I am trying to figure out what I'd like to see happen with the divorce and I want to present it to AH and make it very clear. I need to call our tax accountant and see if he can offer any insight because a lot of what I have to balance out on paper has to do with capital gains taxes, retirement monies and pena...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

I am new here and feeling overwhelmed by indecision and second guessing myself every step of the way. I want so badly to 'know Gods will' in all of this so that I can align my efforts with it but I keep getting mixed signals. I take my vows very seriously and they are probably part of the reason why I stayed an...

robinfl · robinfl

I'm sure most of you go through this. Do I stay or go (or ask him to go). Do I wait for the next crisis or go now to avoid the next crisis? I understand AL-anon will help either way. I understand one-day-at-a time. But I feel guilt towards my HP because I'm staying for financial support instead of relying on...

sueseas · sueseas

thanks and please read my biography and I would appreciate any responses.

Katrina324 · Katrina324

My boyfriend has been a heavy vodka drinker for over ten years, actually according to his family, sadly longer. He hid his drinking from me for the year and a half that we dated, I figured it out when I found him passed out in October. He cried, swore it wasn't so, promised he'd stop drinking. I found hi...

sadie73 · sadie73

Making this as short and to the the point as possible!!! I know I cannot be the only one dealing with this/these issues. I feel beyond confused and frustrated to the point I have no clue what to do. Quick background d of DH and I. Married for almost 21 years 3 lovely, smart daughters. 17, 11, and 5 We've had b...

Katy · Katy

I love reading your posts and I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to be treated so badly by your family, I know that when I am despairing and hurting I don't listen and I don't see, I react and it doesn't feel good,and when I do do this and and I do do it alot, I want to shut people out, and if they misunder...

Livi · Livi

Good Morning, Let me start by saying I have been a silent reader and then member here for quite a while now and we all live or have lived with the same chaos that surrounds an addict. My husband is an alcoholic and he was sober for 10 years before his first relapse that started 4 years ago. We have been th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Umm .. yah .. so went into court to see what I can do and actually there is a lot .. LOL .. won't get into that at this point. After rereading the text to the DV person we were both crying laughing .. and I mean I am going I know this isn't funny however now that I'm reading this out loud the sheer bizarreness of i...

Katrina324 · Katrina324

Hello all, My name is Katrina, I'm a 49 going on 50 year old successful registered nurse that does hospice, and mom of two wonderful grown kids. My relationship was on the surface wonderful, tall, charming, successful car salesman, older, 60 with kids the same ages as mine. We met actually 20 year...

robinfl · robinfl

I did not know my husband was an alcoholic. We've been married 16 years. When we met he drank O'Douls. He began drinking an occasional real beer about three years ago when he retired. Now its almost every day. I thought he was a narcissist because he has a complete lack of empathy, manipulates m...

LinSC · LinSC

I've heard that it might make you feel better when you help when you shouldn't. And in some ways it may be an ego booster. Or it may be fear. I think I have an idea on this, but the meanings seem to escape me. Can anyone say a little more on this subject, thanks, LSC

Helpangel · Helpangel

Has anyone had panic attacks when there alcoholic gets out of rehab after 30 days?? I had a full blown couldn't breathe and I was just wondering what has anyone done when they are trying to work on there marriage. He is being very nice and is really trying. He made a negative face at me and apologized when I...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well I've been sick for the last 3 days. It got so bad this morning I had to get to urgent care for some help. I finally get into the docs office and the doctors assist was asking the usual questions. She was talking so fast I couldn't understand what she was saying on some things and I could see she was get...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well I haven't secured a home. not even the tiny cheap place. At first the agent told me it was 'more or less a done deal, just have to complete some formalities" and I was excited but I haven't heard from him again, I have called and he wont return my calls and the secretary just says the landlord &qu...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

Sorry in advance for the long post.... My son is now 20 and is in his 2nd year of college, doing well, and is actually going to college year round so he can graduate early and move out to Colorado so he can work with the marijuana plants.... Back when he was in high school he got messed up with the wrong crowd a...

neshema2 · neshema2

On my facebook, I do "Slogan for today" posts and i get a LOT of takes from my friends and they let me know, many of them have, that I help more people than i can imagine...it feels good to know that i can put those out there and the spirits in the "wild" can get something out of it.... an...

Shizuka · Shizuka

I'm not even sure what to say so forgive me if this all comes out as a jumbled blurb of words. I've been with my husband now for 16 years. He's an amazing man, except for the drinking. I knew from the first incident that I should have left. But I didn't. At first it wasn't so bad, for many years it wasn't rea...

bud · bud

I am so thankful that I get to choose my friends! During the 48 hour period between my Mom's passing and her funeral, my Aunt was extremely warm to me. I was vulnerable and it slipped out where I asked if I could meet her later in the week to visit my Dad together- that I was uncomfortable visiting the nurs...

acousy34 · acousy34

Hi my mum is a chronic alcholic, has been medically detoxed 5 times in the past two years... had a bleed to the brain... and now her mental state is really bad.. she has been warned by the doctors to give up she has been in rehab, her body is totally malnourished and she is currently in hsp with a swollen stom...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Good weekend. I am learning so much about myself these days. I am learning to treat myself better. I am enjoying the time I have & doing devotions & reading my al anon books & meditations. God is so good to me that I am getting better at reading. Sometimes my head is so cloudy that it is hard to r...

hopes314 · hopes314

I have been going to Alnon for about 1.5 yes. It has helped so much to reclaim my emotional self back. I am wondering how do you all deal with the painful sad stories that are said. They really affect my emotional sport. I feel what these people feel and I feel their pain.it makes me sad or highens my anxie...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm wondering if any of you have ESH on dealing with repeated anger. I mean my own anger. I am a pretty reactive and emotional person anyway, so I think I have an underlying tendency to have strong responses. But on a day-to-day basis I don't feel angry and I don't express any anger. But then from time to...

mjferg · mjferg

So today is my first day of college,I am excited about it.I have been thinking about coming out of chaos and starting a normal routine,that is going to be different,also not getting overwhelmed and staying with my therapy and meetings,I guess finding balance.And what about sabotage,my therapist a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today my AH saw our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks. he was drinking for about a week or so of those two weeks, so i kept her safe with me. i told him i no longer wanted her to spend the night with him...due to his drinking habits and the fact i just cant trust him not to drink. so tonight he tried to convinc...

el-cee · el-cee

My alcoholic ex was my enemy for years. I gave him that role in my life while we were together at times and when we split up before i got alanon. Hes not my enemy hes never been my enemy. Its my perception thats changed. I think working the alanon program takes us on a a journey to a place of balance. My view of m...

12 Steps for Family Members · Belle7

is there a way for family members to use the 12 steps for our own support?

AWSmith · AWSmith

They say that the stages of grieving are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can state definitively that I'm at acceptance. I have accepted that alcohol has consumed my poor, pregnant (with twins), facing DUI mental health court, drug tested 2x a month by the state wife who i...

milkwood · milkwood

A nice gentle start, dancing to Perfect Day by Susan Boyle (kind of dance meets tai-chi - perhaps I should have had a paint brush in hand?!!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrQobQMZYnY

glad · glad

Am I behaving a certain way toward others and living amends or am I living in Guilt Shame and Regret? One of my Al anon friends mentioned that doing certain things with others was living amends for her past behavior. I liked this a lot and it made me want to do certain things for my daughters who are now an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm definitely asking for my prayer warriors tonight .. I don't know what the catalyst has been however my ex has fully lost his mind and is from what I can tell actively acting out. It must have been a hell of a fight with the wife to be. He's thinking he can't get married, and he can so of course this is al...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Tonight, I went to yet another place to dance. This time I didn't wait around on a friend who invited me and then forgot it because of a major upset in her life. I went by myself. I didn't struggle to do it. I just did it. I got to my gym where Ballroom Dancing Lessons were being held. As usual, more wome...

Heisenberg · Heisenberg

Hi all - I only started posting a few days ago, but already seeing a lot of great info here :) Story goes that me and the AGF are trying to "work things out" (it's a cyclical thing at this point) but this time we both committed to it much more seriously. Today was a fine day, we both worked normal ho...

BlueSky · BlueSky

My AH has been in recovery for 4 years. He goes to meetings almost daily, has 1 or 2 sponsees, not sure if he still works with a sponsor-he never mentions it if he does-and has not relapsed BUT he is still very much like a dry drunk. He has very little ability to handle any type of uncomfortable feelings and o...

ohno · ohno

I have learned NOT to share my true feelings because of the volatile reactions it generates in the alcoholic. This is problematic for me. When a person is "in the disease" is not the time to process stuff, share your true feelings of how they are impacting you, etc., - because they don't care...

Vivian10 · Vivian10

I have tried Al Anon and individual therapy in the past and I continue to struggle so I thought I should give it another shot as I am determined to make 2015 a better year. Here's my story. Several years ago, I met my soon to be ex-husband. Our relationship in the beginning was nothing short of a fairy ta...

texasgal · texasgal

2014 was a year of changes new job, new city, and a divorce. My life has changed for the better. My past life seems like a dream. I am no longer allowing verbal or physical abuse and no more manipulation from my exAH. And thank goodness I never had children with him I never have to talk to him again. I'm grate...

neshema2 · neshema2

Expectations are premeditated resentments. I am talking about unrealistic expectations. To have absolutely no expectations breeds hopelessness. I am talking about unrealistic expectations as the causes for resentments. Can I expect my loyal family of choice to be there for me most of the time...

callmemara · callmemara

After 8 years of BS. Of broken promises, of emotional abuse, of hell, of everything that you all know so well so I won't go into all the details in this post. I finally reached my breaking point this weekend and I asked him to move out on Monday- I gave him 30 days to get out- the house is in my name only so I cann...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your insights as they are important to each persons re...

New Member - Relationship Issues · Heisenberg

Hi All, New to the board, but not new to living with an AGF. We've actually been engaged for 2+ years, and unfortunately, her drinking started not long after getting engaged. Things were ok for a while, as I was honestly oblivious to the fact she was becoming an alcoholic (and she admits to hiding it for a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been thinking, reading & writing a lot lately & I realized that part of my year was awful but then the end of it ended very well. I am so grateful that 2014 is over but I really am trying not to hang on to the negative things from the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Every day is a blank page to fil...

deacon · deacon

Sis shared something with me that has profoundly moved me. After she had admitted her husband to the hospital,she told the doctor that he was a very heavy drinker, and that they were separating due to his drinking. She stated that she would not be staying with him at the hospital but to call her if nece...

glad · glad

3 plus years after any contact the ex Alcoholic bf sends a friend request, from his face book page with pics of himself and his now long term live in girlfriend. This was a crazy messed up break up where he knew I was in pain and I chased him, there is no doubt in my mind he enjoyed the good bye's over a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

2014 was a great year for me. I met a wonderful man that is truly a keeper, I finished my first full year of nursing school. My two daughters are healthy and doing well in school and life. We just went on a vacation for 4 days with my boyfriend and both of our kids and it went very well. We ended the year all of us...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My son and me. Me and my son. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...	grateful2be	45	2103	Jan 8, 2015 by grateful2be
	income tax study time (Preview) Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....	neshema2	3	536	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	Al-Anon-ic behavior? coercion sharing anxiety (Preview) I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...	drywit44	10	9053	Jan 8, 2015 by Tasha
	January jitters (Preview) Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...	el-cee	16	725	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	something I learned ESH?? or enabling??? (Preview) I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...	neshema2	15	714	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	Struggling (Preview) New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...	NayNay	6	624	Jan 8, 2015 by NayNay
	My son in prison wants to marry an alcoholic . . . ( 1 2 ) Son incarcerated marrying alcoholic (Preview) My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...	Colibri	44	11269	Jan 8, 2015 by Colibri
	FOO (Preview) OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.	cloudyskies	5	4827	Jan 8, 2015 by Debilyn
	Question about ALANON Meetings (Preview) i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM	Belle7	8	1513	Jan 8, 2015 by cloudyskies
	I need wine to cope. (Preview) AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...	robinfl	4	551	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	Telling our son tonight (Preview) Prayers appreciated. I have the butterflies in my stomach. Our son has some math homework to finish and then we'll eat dinner and I think we'll tell him after that. Please pray!	andromeda	15	909	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	OK...I took/am taking stuff TOO SERIOUSLY (Preview) all this of late??? I am taking it TOO serious....its not about me, for me, directed at me, I guess my issue was and always will be safety....like if i don't do my program "right" will there be a private group consultation on me???? Thinking about it, I don't believe i am interesting or popul...	neshema2	6	753	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	To All - My thanks (Preview) I have been on the MIP board for a little over two years. I am grateful for meeting you all, sharing my e/s/h and learning more. Recently, it came to my attention that there is group private messaging going on in the background on our board. I am a direct person and I will say directly that I know I can't st...	grateful2be	38	1221	Jan 8, 2015 by el-cee
	Totally scared but a bit angry and confused!! (Preview) New to this site...just signed up actually. I don't know where else to go with this. Looking for your input please. I have a friend, who is more like my boyfriend, but we're not official in any way. Anyway, he's depressed. He talks about his issues and they seem deep rooted and have existed from a very...	jennybee	8	689	Jan 8, 2015 by likemyheart
	An epiphany - MY role in A Sons recovery (Preview) Well, its been a long time since Ive written anything on here only because I didnt think I had much to write. I go toone meeting a week in our area which has been invaluable to me.I do however always turn to this board when in dire straits (no meetings over the holiday) - or at least my imagination of it! An...	intoit	12	726	Jan 7, 2015 by el-cee
	Frustrated, sick(stupid cold), working on financials (Preview) So, I am trying to figure out what I'd like to see happen with the divorce and I want to present it to AH and make it very clear. I need to call our tax accountant and see if he can offer any insight because a lot of what I have to balance out on paper has to do with capital gains taxes, retirement monies and pena...	andromeda	6	773	Jan 7, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	New to separation..input needed (Preview) I am new here and feeling overwhelmed by indecision and second guessing myself every step of the way. I want so badly to 'know Gods will' in all of this so that I can align my efforts with it but I keep getting mixed signals. I take my vows very seriously and they are probably part of the reason why I stayed an...	Hopefull15	3	807	Jan 7, 2015 by Hopefull15
	To Stay or Go (Preview) I'm sure most of you go through this. Do I stay or go (or ask him to go). Do I wait for the next crisis or go now to avoid the next crisis? I understand AL-anon will help either way. I understand one-day-at-a time. But I feel guilt towards my HP because I'm staying for financial support instead of relying on...	robinfl	18	917	Jan 7, 2015 by grateful2be
	I'm back in Al-Anon (Preview) thanks and please read my biography and I would appreciate any responses.	sueseas	5	629	Jan 7, 2015 by Colibri
	Boyfriend appears to be using AA as a reason to justify why he drinks, and I have a feeling he still is (Preview) My boyfriend has been a heavy vodka drinker for over ten years, actually according to his family, sadly longer. He hid his drinking from me for the year and a half that we dated, I figured it out when I found him passed out in October. He cried, swore it wasn't so, promised he'd stop drinking. I found hi...	Katrina324	16	587	Jan 7, 2015 by andromeda
	manipulation; breaking the cycle. help... (Preview) Making this as short and to the the point as possible!!! I know I cannot be the only one dealing with this/these issues. I feel beyond confused and frustrated to the point I have no clue what to do. Quick background d of DH and I. Married for almost 21 years 3 lovely, smart daughters. 17, 11, and 5 We've had b...	sadie73	7	984	Jan 7, 2015 by grateful2be
	Melly? (Preview) I love reading your posts and I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to be treated so badly by your family, I know that when I am despairing and hurting I don't listen and I don't see, I react and it doesn't feel good,and when I do do this and and I do do it alot, I want to shut people out, and if they misunder...	Katy	12	705	Jan 7, 2015 by Jill
	The Madness Is Finally Over And It Is Truly A Wonderful Thing :) (Preview) Good Morning, Let me start by saying I have been a silent reader and then member here for quite a while now and we all live or have lived with the same chaos that surrounds an addict. My husband is an alcoholic and he was sober for 10 years before his first relapse that started 4 years ago. We have been th...	Livi	13	975	Jan 7, 2015 by Livi
	Laugh or Cry .. (Preview) Umm .. yah .. so went into court to see what I can do and actually there is a lot .. LOL .. won't get into that at this point. After rereading the text to the DV person we were both crying laughing .. and I mean I am going I know this isn't funny however now that I'm reading this out loud the sheer bizarreness of i...	SerenityRUS	7	747	Jan 7, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Looking for support, ended my relationship becasue I couldn't handle his drinking and the constant lies (Preview) Hello all, My name is Katrina, I'm a 49 going on 50 year old successful registered nurse that does hospice, and mom of two wonderful grown kids. My relationship was on the surface wonderful, tall, charming, successful car salesman, older, 60 with kids the same ages as mine. We met actually 20 year...	Katrina324	18	898	Jan 6, 2015 by pinkchip
	Dry Drunk/ Relapse (Preview) I did not know my husband was an alcoholic. We've been married 16 years. When we met he drank O'Douls. He began drinking an occasional real beer about three years ago when he retired. Now its almost every day. I thought he was a narcissist because he has a complete lack of empathy, manipulates m...	robinfl	14	1010	Jan 6, 2015 by neshema2
	Helping the Alcoholic/Addict (Preview) I've heard that it might make you feel better when you help when you shouldn't. And in some ways it may be an ego booster. Or it may be fear. I think I have an idea on this, but the meanings seem to escape me. Can anyone say a little more on this subject, thanks, LSC	LinSC	21	991	Jan 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	Panic attack because ah is out of rehab (Preview) Has anyone had panic attacks when there alcoholic gets out of rehab after 30 days?? I had a full blown couldn't breathe and I was just wondering what has anyone done when they are trying to work on there marriage. He is being very nice and is really trying. He made a negative face at me and apologized when I...	Helpangel	12	767	Jan 6, 2015 by Flower49
	I think I used a tool of letting it go (Preview) Well I've been sick for the last 3 days. It got so bad this morning I had to get to urgent care for some help. I finally get into the docs office and the doctors assist was asking the usual questions. She was talking so fast I couldn't understand what she was saying on some things and I could see she was get...	Cathyinaz	11	884	Jan 6, 2015 by aquamom23
	Garden Variety Venting ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well I haven't secured a home. not even the tiny cheap place. At first the agent told me it was 'more or less a done deal, just have to complete some formalities" and I was excited but I haven't heard from him again, I have called and he wont return my calls and the secretary just says the landlord &qu...	missmeliss	54	1719	Jan 6, 2015 by Debilyn
	20 year old son has a problem with drinking..... (Preview) Sorry in advance for the long post.... My son is now 20 and is in his 2nd year of college, doing well, and is actually going to college year round so he can graduate early and move out to Colorado so he can work with the marijuana plants.... Back when he was in high school he got messed up with the wrong crowd a...	hummingbird1094	6	1076	Jan 6, 2015 by hummingbird1094
	detach detach detach.....and DUCK!!!!! (Preview) On my facebook, I do "Slogan for today" posts and i get a LOT of takes from my friends and they let me know, many of them have, that I help more people than i can imagine...it feels good to know that i can put those out there and the spirits in the "wild" can get something out of it.... an...	neshema2	25	961	Jan 5, 2015 by neshema2
	Where to begin... (Preview) I'm not even sure what to say so forgive me if this all comes out as a jumbled blurb of words. I've been with my husband now for 16 years. He's an amazing man, except for the drinking. I knew from the first incident that I should have left. But I didn't. At first it wasn't so bad, for many years it wasn't rea...	Shizuka	13	889	Jan 5, 2015 by Shizuka
	FOO pulled a trigger (Preview) I am so thankful that I get to choose my friends! During the 48 hour period between my Mom's passing and her funeral, my Aunt was extremely warm to me. I was vulnerable and it slipped out where I asked if I could meet her later in the week to visit my Dad together- that I was uncomfortable visiting the nurs...	bud	14	832	Jan 5, 2015 by bud
	How do you know its the end of alcholism? New Member (Preview) Hi my mum is a chronic alcholic, has been medically detoxed 5 times in the past two years... had a bleed to the brain... and now her mental state is really bad.. she has been warned by the doctors to give up she has been in rehab, her body is totally malnourished and she is currently in hsp with a swollen stom...	acousy34	7	727	Jan 5, 2015 by Debilyn
	It is MONDAY & it is short... (Preview) Good weekend. I am learning so much about myself these days. I am learning to treat myself better. I am enjoying the time I have & doing devotions & reading my al anon books & meditations. God is so good to me that I am getting better at reading. Sometimes my head is so cloudy that it is hard to r...	Hoot Nanny	1	377	Jan 5, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	emotional ride (Preview) I have been going to Alnon for about 1.5 yes. It has helped so much to reclaim my emotional self back. I am wondering how do you all deal with the painful sad stories that are said. They really affect my emotional sport. I feel what these people feel and I feel their pain.it makes me sad or highens my anxie...	hopes314	11	602	Jan 5, 2015 by Mirandac
	A problem with anger (Preview) I'm wondering if any of you have ESH on dealing with repeated anger. I mean my own anger. I am a pretty reactive and emotional person anyway, so I think I have an underlying tendency to have strong responses. But on a day-to-day basis I don't feel angry and I don't express any anger. But then from time to...	Mattie	10	633	Jan 5, 2015 by grateful2be
	staying focused (Preview) So today is my first day of college,I am excited about it.I have been thinking about coming out of chaos and starting a normal routine,that is going to be different,also not getting overwhelmed and staying with my therapy and meetings,I guess finding balance.And what about sabotage,my therapist a...	mjferg	9	527	Jan 5, 2015 by Fairlee
	I am still punishing him (Preview) Today my AH saw our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks. he was drinking for about a week or so of those two weeks, so i kept her safe with me. i told him i no longer wanted her to spend the night with him...due to his drinking habits and the fact i just cant trust him not to drink. so tonight he tried to convinc...	Newlife girl	14	876	Jan 4, 2015 by Newlife girl
	the alcoholic, the enemy (Preview) My alcoholic ex was my enemy for years. I gave him that role in my life while we were together at times and when we split up before i got alanon. Hes not my enemy hes never been my enemy. Its my perception thats changed. I think working the alanon program takes us on a a journey to a place of balance. My view of m...	el-cee	15	841	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	12 Steps for Family Members (Preview) is there a way for family members to use the 12 steps for our own support?	Belle7	3	530	Jan 4, 2015 by PP
	Acceptance (Preview) They say that the stages of grieving are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can state definitively that I'm at acceptance. I have accepted that alcohol has consumed my poor, pregnant (with twins), facing DUI mental health court, drug tested 2x a month by the state wife who i...	AWSmith	26	1139	Jan 4, 2015 by hotrod
	Day one of thirty…. (Preview) A nice gentle start, dancing to Perfect Day by Susan Boyle (kind of dance meets tai-chi - perhaps I should have had a paint brush in hand?!!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrQobQMZYnY	milkwood	14	635	Jan 4, 2015 by PP
	Guilt Shame and regret vs living amends (Preview) Am I behaving a certain way toward others and living amends or am I living in Guilt Shame and Regret? One of my Al anon friends mentioned that doing certain things with others was living amends for her past behavior. I liked this a lot and it made me want to do certain things for my daughters who are now an...	glad	3	1544	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	Concerns .. (Preview) I'm definitely asking for my prayer warriors tonight .. I don't know what the catalyst has been however my ex has fully lost his mind and is from what I can tell actively acting out. It must have been a hell of a fight with the wife to be. He's thinking he can't get married, and he can so of course this is al...	SerenityRUS	20	716	Jan 4, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Kool and the Gang and a Celebration (Preview) Tonight, I went to yet another place to dance. This time I didn't wait around on a friend who invited me and then forgot it because of a major upset in her life. I went by myself. I didn't struggle to do it. I just did it. I got to my gym where Ballroom Dancing Lessons were being held. As usual, more wome...	grateful2be	22	820	Jan 4, 2015 by grateful2be
	When to confront? (Preview) Hi all - I only started posting a few days ago, but already seeing a lot of great info here :) Story goes that me and the AGF are trying to "work things out" (it's a cyclical thing at this point) but this time we both committed to it much more seriously. Today was a fine day, we both worked normal ho...	Heisenberg	13	649	Jan 4, 2015 by aquamom23
	Question for those who left an A spouse (Preview) My AH has been in recovery for 4 years. He goes to meetings almost daily, has 1 or 2 sponsees, not sure if he still works with a sponsor-he never mentions it if he does-and has not relapsed BUT he is still very much like a dry drunk. He has very little ability to handle any type of uncomfortable feelings and o...	BlueSky	5	545	Jan 3, 2015 by neshema2
	How to Be Your True, Real Self When the Alcoholic is Volatile (Preview) I have learned NOT to share my true feelings because of the volatile reactions it generates in the alcoholic. This is problematic for me. When a person is "in the disease" is not the time to process stuff, share your true feelings of how they are impacting you, etc., - because they don't care...	ohno	31	869	Jan 3, 2015 by el-cee
	Rebuilding... (Preview) I have tried Al Anon and individual therapy in the past and I continue to struggle so I thought I should give it another shot as I am determined to make 2015 a better year. Here's my story. Several years ago, I met my soon to be ex-husband. Our relationship in the beginning was nothing short of a fairy ta...	Vivian10	10	477	Jan 3, 2015 by callmemara
	grateful heart â™¡ :) (Preview) 2014 was a year of changes new job, new city, and a divorce. My life has changed for the better. My past life seems like a dream. I am no longer allowing verbal or physical abuse and no more manipulation from my exAH. And thank goodness I never had children with him I never have to talk to him again. I'm grate...	texasgal	6	546	Jan 3, 2015 by el-cee
	Expectations (Preview) Expectations are premeditated resentments. I am talking about unrealistic expectations. To have absolutely no expectations breeds hopelessness. I am talking about unrealistic expectations as the causes for resentments. Can I expect my loyal family of choice to be there for me most of the time...	neshema2	10	2015	Jan 3, 2015 by bud
	He's moving out but how long should I wait? (Preview) After 8 years of BS. Of broken promises, of emotional abuse, of hell, of everything that you all know so well so I won't go into all the details in this post. I finally reached my breaking point this weekend and I asked him to move out on Monday- I gave him 30 days to get out- the house is in my name only so I cann...	callmemara	17	767	Jan 2, 2015 by bud
	Step 11 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your insights as they are important to each persons re...	hotrod	1	606	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
	New Member - Relationship Issues (Preview) Hi All, New to the board, but not new to living with an AGF. We've actually been engaged for 2+ years, and unfortunately, her drinking started not long after getting engaged. Things were ok for a while, as I was honestly oblivious to the fact she was becoming an alcoholic (and she admits to hiding it for a...	Heisenberg	15	944	Jan 2, 2015 by pinkchip
	another year, another chance to start over! (Preview) I have been thinking, reading & writing a lot lately & I realized that part of my year was awful but then the end of it ended very well. I am so grateful that 2014 is over but I really am trying not to hang on to the negative things from the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Every day is a blank page to fil...	Hoot Nanny	1	528	Jan 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Go home and leave the guilt here (Preview) Sis shared something with me that has profoundly moved me. After she had admitted her husband to the hospital,she told the doctor that he was a very heavy drinker, and that they were separating due to his drinking. She stated that she would not be staying with him at the hospital but to call her if nece...	deacon	3	543	Jan 2, 2015 by hotrod
	sometimes technology is a pain! (Preview) 3 plus years after any contact the ex Alcoholic bf sends a friend request, from his face book page with pics of himself and his now long term live in girlfriend. This was a crazy messed up break up where he knew I was in pain and I chased him, there is no doubt in my mind he enjoyed the good bye's over a...	glad	4	820	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
	My year in review and what 2015 brings for me... (Preview) 2014 was a great year for me. I met a wonderful man that is truly a keeper, I finished my first full year of nursing school. My two daughters are healthy and doing well in school and life. We just went on a vacation for 4 days with my boyfriend and both of our kids and it went very well. We ended the year all of us...	Breakingfree	5	545	Jan 2, 2015 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.