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The Madness Is Finally Over And It Is Truly A Wonderful Thing :)
(Preview)
Good Morning, Let me start by saying I have been a silent reader and then member here for quite a while now and we all live or have lived with the same chaos that surrounds an addict. My husband is an alcoholic and he was sober for 10 years before his first relapse that started 4 years ago. We have been th...
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Livi
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13
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898
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Laugh or Cry ..
(Preview)
Umm .. yah .. so went into court to see what I can do and actually there is a lot .. LOL .. won't get into that at this point. After rereading the text to the DV person we were both crying laughing .. and I mean I am going I know this isn't funny however now that I'm reading this out loud the sheer bizarreness of i...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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688
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Looking for support, ended my relationship becasue I couldn't handle his drinking and the constant lies
(Preview)
Hello all, My name is Katrina, I'm a 49 going on 50 year old successful registered nurse that does hospice, and mom of two wonderful grown kids. My relationship was on the surface wonderful, tall, charming, successful car salesman, older, 60 with kids the same ages as mine. We met actually 20 year...
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Katrina324
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18
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835
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Dry Drunk/ Relapse
(Preview)
I did not know my husband was an alcoholic. We've been married 16 years. When we met he drank O'Douls. He began drinking an occasional real beer about three years ago when he retired. Now its almost every day. I thought he was a narcissist because he has a complete lack of empathy, manipulates m...
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robinfl
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14
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947
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Helping the Alcoholic/Addict
(Preview)
I've heard that it might make you feel better when you help when you shouldn't. And in some ways it may be an ego booster. Or it may be fear. I think I have an idea on this, but the meanings seem to escape me. Can anyone say a little more on this subject, thanks, LSC
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LinSC
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21
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932
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Panic attack because ah is out of rehab
(Preview)
Has anyone had panic attacks when there alcoholic gets out of rehab after 30 days?? I had a full blown couldn't breathe and I was just wondering what has anyone done when they are trying to work on there marriage. He is being very nice and is really trying. He made a negative face at me and apologized when I...
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Helpangel
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12
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708
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I think I used a tool of letting it go
(Preview)
Well I've been sick for the last 3 days. It got so bad this morning I had to get to urgent care for some help. I finally get into the docs office and the doctors assist was asking the usual questions. She was talking so fast I couldn't understand what she was saying on some things and I could see she was get...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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819
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Garden Variety Venting
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Well I haven't secured a home. not even the tiny cheap place. At first the agent told me it was 'more or less a done deal, just have to complete some formalities" and I was excited but I haven't heard from him again, I have called and he wont return my calls and the secretary just says the landlord &qu...
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missmeliss
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54
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1614
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20 year old son has a problem with drinking.....
(Preview)
Sorry in advance for the long post.... My son is now 20 and is in his 2nd year of college, doing well, and is actually going to college year round so he can graduate early and move out to Colorado so he can work with the marijuana plants.... Back when he was in high school he got messed up with the wrong crowd a...
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hummingbird1094
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6
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1011
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detach detach detach.....and DUCK!!!!!
(Preview)
On my facebook, I do "Slogan for today" posts and i get a LOT of takes from my friends and they let me know, many of them have, that I help more people than i can imagine...it feels good to know that i can put those out there and the spirits in the "wild" can get something out of it.... an...
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neshema2
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25
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907
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Where to begin...
(Preview)
I'm not even sure what to say so forgive me if this all comes out as a jumbled blurb of words. I've been with my husband now for 16 years. He's an amazing man, except for the drinking. I knew from the first incident that I should have left. But I didn't. At first it wasn't so bad, for many years it wasn't rea...
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Shizuka
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13
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825
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FOO pulled a trigger
(Preview)
I am so thankful that I get to choose my friends! During the 48 hour period between my Mom's passing and her funeral, my Aunt was extremely warm to me. I was vulnerable and it slipped out where I asked if I could meet her later in the week to visit my Dad together- that I was uncomfortable visiting the nurs...
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bud
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14
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749
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How do you know its the end of alcholism? New Member
(Preview)
Hi my mum is a chronic alcholic, has been medically detoxed 5 times in the past two years... had a bleed to the brain... and now her mental state is really bad.. she has been warned by the doctors to give up she has been in rehab, her body is totally malnourished and she is currently in hsp with a swollen stom...
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acousy34
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7
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666
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It is MONDAY & it is short...
(Preview)
Good weekend. I am learning so much about myself these days. I am learning to treat myself better. I am enjoying the time I have & doing devotions & reading my al anon books & meditations. God is so good to me that I am getting better at reading. Sometimes my head is so cloudy that it is hard to r...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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323
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emotional ride
(Preview)
I have been going to Alnon for about 1.5 yes. It has helped so much to reclaim my emotional self back. I am wondering how do you all deal with the painful sad stories that are said. They really affect my emotional sport. I feel what these people feel and I feel their pain.it makes me sad or highens my anxie...
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hopes314
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11
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550
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A problem with anger
(Preview)
I'm wondering if any of you have ESH on dealing with repeated anger. I mean my own anger. I am a pretty reactive and emotional person anyway, so I think I have an underlying tendency to have strong responses. But on a day-to-day basis I don't feel angry and I don't express any anger. But then from time to...
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Mattie
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10
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575
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staying focused
(Preview)
So today is my first day of college,I am excited about it.I have been thinking about coming out of chaos and starting a normal routine,that is going to be different,also not getting overwhelmed and staying with my therapy and meetings,I guess finding balance.And what about sabotage,my therapist a...
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mjferg
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9
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471
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I am still punishing him
(Preview)
Today my AH saw our daughter for the first time in 2 weeks. he was drinking for about a week or so of those two weeks, so i kept her safe with me. i told him i no longer wanted her to spend the night with him...due to his drinking habits and the fact i just cant trust him not to drink. so tonight he tried to convinc...
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Newlife girl
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14
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811
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the alcoholic, the enemy
(Preview)
My alcoholic ex was my enemy for years. I gave him that role in my life while we were together at times and when we split up before i got alanon. Hes not my enemy hes never been my enemy. Its my perception thats changed. I think working the alanon program takes us on a a journey to a place of balance. My view of m...
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el-cee
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15
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769
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12 Steps for Family Members
(Preview)
is there a way for family members to use the 12 steps for our own support?
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Belle7
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3
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468
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Acceptance
(Preview)
They say that the stages of grieving are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I can state definitively that I'm at acceptance. I have accepted that alcohol has consumed my poor, pregnant (with twins), facing DUI mental health court, drug tested 2x a month by the state wife who i...
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AWSmith
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26
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1083
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Day one of thirty….
(Preview)
A nice gentle start, dancing to Perfect Day by Susan Boyle (kind of dance meets tai-chi - perhaps I should have had a paint brush in hand?!!)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrQobQMZYnY
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milkwood
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14
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579
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Guilt Shame and regret vs living amends
(Preview)
Am I behaving a certain way toward others and living amends or am I living in Guilt Shame and Regret? One of my Al anon friends mentioned that doing certain things with others was living amends for her past behavior. I liked this a lot and it made me want to do certain things for my daughters who are now an...
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glad
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3
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1478
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Concerns ..
(Preview)
I'm definitely asking for my prayer warriors tonight .. I don't know what the catalyst has been however my ex has fully lost his mind and is from what I can tell actively acting out. It must have been a hell of a fight with the wife to be. He's thinking he can't get married, and he can so of course this is al...
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SerenityRUS
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20
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658
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Kool and the Gang and a Celebration
(Preview)
Tonight, I went to yet another place to dance. This time I didn't wait around on a friend who invited me and then forgot it because of a major upset in her life. I went by myself. I didn't struggle to do it. I just did it. I got to my gym where Ballroom Dancing Lessons were being held. As usual, more wome...
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grateful2be
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22
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762
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When to confront?
(Preview)
Hi all - I only started posting a few days ago, but already seeing a lot of great info here :) Story goes that me and the AGF are trying to "work things out" (it's a cyclical thing at this point) but this time we both committed to it much more seriously. Today was a fine day, we both worked normal ho...
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Heisenberg
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13
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588
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Question for those who left an A spouse
(Preview)
My AH has been in recovery for 4 years. He goes to meetings almost daily, has 1 or 2 sponsees, not sure if he still works with a sponsor-he never mentions it if he does-and has not relapsed BUT he is still very much like a dry drunk. He has very little ability to handle any type of uncomfortable feelings and o...
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BlueSky
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5
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476
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How to Be Your True, Real Self When the Alcoholic is Volatile
(Preview)
I have learned NOT to share my true feelings because of the volatile reactions it generates in the alcoholic. This is problematic for me. When a person is "in the disease" is not the time to process stuff, share your true feelings of how they are impacting you, etc., - because they don't care...
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ohno
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31
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786
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Rebuilding...
(Preview)
I have tried Al Anon and individual therapy in the past and I continue to struggle so I thought I should give it another shot as I am determined to make 2015 a better year. Here's my story. Several years ago, I met my soon to be ex-husband. Our relationship in the beginning was nothing short of a fairy ta...
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Vivian10
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10
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422
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grateful heart ♡ :)
(Preview)
2014 was a year of changes new job, new city, and a divorce. My life has changed for the better. My past life seems like a dream. I am no longer allowing verbal or physical abuse and no more manipulation from my exAH. And thank goodness I never had children with him I never have to talk to him again. I'm grate...
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texasgal
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6
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486
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Expectations
(Preview)
Expectations are premeditated resentments. I am talking about unrealistic expectations. To have absolutely no expectations breeds hopelessness. I am talking about unrealistic expectations as the causes for resentments. Can I expect my loyal family of choice to be there for me most of the time...
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neshema2
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10
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1861
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He's moving out but how long should I wait?
(Preview)
After 8 years of BS. Of broken promises, of emotional abuse, of hell, of everything that you all know so well so I won't go into all the details in this post. I finally reached my breaking point this weekend and I asked him to move out on Monday- I gave him 30 days to get out- the house is in my name only so I cann...
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callmemara
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17
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704
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Step 11
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 11 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your insights as they are important to each persons re...
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hotrod
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1
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505
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New Member - Relationship Issues
(Preview)
Hi All, New to the board, but not new to living with an AGF. We've actually been engaged for 2+ years, and unfortunately, her drinking started not long after getting engaged. Things were ok for a while, as I was honestly oblivious to the fact she was becoming an alcoholic (and she admits to hiding it for a...
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Heisenberg
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15
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878
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another year, another chance to start over!
(Preview)
I have been thinking, reading & writing a lot lately & I realized that part of my year was awful but then the end of it ended very well. I am so grateful that 2014 is over but I really am trying not to hang on to the negative things from the past. I don't want to dwell on it. Every day is a blank page to fil...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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462
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Go home and leave the guilt here
(Preview)
Sis shared something with me that has profoundly moved me. After she had admitted her husband to the hospital,she told the doctor that he was a very heavy drinker, and that they were separating due to his drinking. She stated that she would not be staying with him at the hospital but to call her if nece...
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deacon
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3
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474
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sometimes technology is a pain!
(Preview)
3 plus years after any contact the ex Alcoholic bf sends a friend request, from his face book page with pics of himself and his now long term live in girlfriend. This was a crazy messed up break up where he knew I was in pain and I chased him, there is no doubt in my mind he enjoyed the good bye's over a...
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glad
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4
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764
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My year in review and what 2015 brings for me...
(Preview)
2014 was a great year for me. I met a wonderful man that is truly a keeper, I finished my first full year of nursing school. My two daughters are healthy and doing well in school and life. We just went on a vacation for 4 days with my boyfriend and both of our kids and it went very well. We ended the year all of us...
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Breakingfree
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5
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490
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I am powerless....
(Preview)
Hello I am thinking i should work the 12 steps , new to Alannon and please forgive me if this is wrong.. We admitted we were powerless over _______--that our lives had become unmanageable. I am powerless over my husbands outburst , I am powerless over his drinking I am powerless over the effect it is ca...
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Compliments
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31
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985
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Gratitude for all of you!
(Preview)
Happy New Year to all and thank you! I'm a work in progress however, compared to how I was prior to alanon 1 and 1/2 years ago, I have happiness and serenity many days. I am able to look honestly (I'm trying :) and see my shortcomings still, and I want to work them out. Let Go and Let God indeed. The 3 C's he...
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Lyne
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8
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512
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To my Al-Anon family
(Preview)
God teaches us to pray for one another. My dearest Al-Anon family I pray God will grant each of you serenity and peace in this New Year. When life becomes a struggle, I pray for our HP's guidance in your lives. I pray God will grant each of you the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage...
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cloudyskies
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6
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500
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Thanks and Happy New Years
(Preview)
Another year has gone by, and I have learned something in Al-Anon. Yes it has taken me years to get to where I am. A little more serene, a little more patient, a little wiser, because of Alanon and all who post there stories and wisdom on this board. Thank You and here is to another year of learning, living r...
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LinSC
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3
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422
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((((((((((((((((((((((((( Betty ))))))))))))))))))))))))
(Preview)
Ah caint hug y'all. And after all its already Jan 2 here in NZ. One of the hotumanawa [hot hearts] of the board Betty I have already hugged you in person so I understand the nature of your warmth. You welcomed me, a stranger~ in my life I was so used to put-downs and let-downs, but you came early to greet me a...
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DavidG
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3
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543
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Confused About Boundries
(Preview)
I've been attending meeting for a few months now. I'm starting to "get it" I am grateful for Al-anon 1st step its a huge monkey off my back recognizing I have no control and giving it to God. I know that I cannot change him and he will never give me what I need. I've released the anger and have tru...
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robinfl
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4
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556
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Is this a crazy question? Alcoholic husband stopped drinking 10 years ago-what's wrong with me?
(Preview)
I am brand new to this board and in some ways can't believe I'm even writing a post as I've never really told people about the hell I've lived through. I have been married 20 years to an alcoholic who quit drinking 10 years ago this month. Once he made the decision to stop drinking, he never faltered-he'...
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expertatdenial
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16
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856
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Letting Go
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I had a lesson in :Lettting go and Letting God this week My brother broke his hip last week after a fall in his home. He lives alone and it took him 4 hours to reach the telephone to call for help. He has had a surgery an been transferred to a rehab near his home. I have talked to him several time...
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hotrod
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21
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822
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Happy New Year
(Preview)
HAPPY NEW YEAR MIP FAMILY WITH THE HELP OF MY ALANON TOOLS, THIS WILL CONTINUE TO BE MY RENEWED NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION Finish each day and be done with it. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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hotrod
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15
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650
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Gratitude List for 2014 or Personal Goals for 2015
(Preview)
This was the topic of our meeting last night: For what are you thankful for this past year and/or what do you hope or look forward to for 2015? I am thankful for: - Getting to be with my AD on Christmas Day after only seeing her once this whole year. She looked healthy and there was no drama. - I have started a n...
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Green Eyes
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3
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588
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This is God at work
(Preview)
I can't believe that last night I was sitting in a room at my college orientation!Yes,I did it,I faced a fear.I filled out my forms and went to school.It wasn't too long ago my life was filled with hopelessness and pain.I am not kidding,when I started this I thought I was beyond hope.My journey hasn't be...
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mjferg
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9
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482
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Lost a BIL to this disease yesterday
(Preview)
We have watched him deteriorate for the last ten years. He has lost the love of most family members due to his alcoholic behavior. A month ago his wife said, " Enough, I want a divorce!" And then I think he found out how many bridges he had burned over the years because no one wanted him to move in...
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deacon
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6
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618
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Marathon meetings
(Preview)
I know there is a sticky above but i don't usually bother with them often, sorry but true. Ive just been to one and they are so good. This can be a difficult time of year for us type of people so these are another tool where you can connect with like minded people.x They are every three hours right through unt...
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el-cee
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3
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390
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Splitting things up
(Preview)
AH wants to go over how we're going to split things up and I have no idea how or where to start. After 20 years of marriage, we have 'stuff'. I'm not a clutter person but we do seem to have more than I need and I know he also wants to split up the finances and talk about that too. I give it thought constantly bu...
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andromeda
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16
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1086
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note to self!!!!!!
(Preview)
Ok so taking everyone's advice I decided that today's the day and I found a meeting in my town that's on tonight so I told him I will b going out he asked where and I was very reluctant to tell him where but I did in the end!!! What a mistake!!!!! I am not allowed to go as he might know someone there!!! I tried to e...
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lizzieo35
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5
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524
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finished things trying to say strong and not convince myself it wasnt that bad!
(Preview)
OK So I grew up with an Alcoholic father who stopped drinking when I was 13 with 1 relapse. I then meet my 1st husband when I was 15 turned out he was a drug addict and we split when I was 19 a few weeks later I met my husband! He drank but not like my dad who was a binge drinker (bottles of vodka etc for weeks) so I di...
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tiredmummy
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7
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597
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Hmmm.
(Preview)
Well, the good news is daughter and I just watched the Hobbit and thoroughly enjoyed it. Yay! Tomorrow she returns to her fathers for 2 weeks. Anyway my housemate lady has been super mega unfriendly to me and it's been very uncomfortable and today I confronted her about it and she admitted her son wants...
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missmeliss
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16
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535
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Gotta share this for ME!!!! What a start to the week!!!!
(Preview)
My beloved sponsor is in a big jam: in Sept. she, with this older, very obese, not the healthiest guy started a Mushroom business....Yes, the delicious things you see in salads, on steaks, etc......they began this gig together....she sinking in so far nearly 20 grand on cost of goods sold, start up co...
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neshema2
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3
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682
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I'll be your baby tonight.
(Preview)
This song came on the radio and took me by complete surprise...I started crying my eyes out! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fk_W29L9lA My ex-husband used to sing it whenever I was sad. It was like a lullaby. Shhh Mel, here, burn one down and let it go... There is a part of me that just wants someone...
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missmeliss
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7
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659
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Need Tips re: Worrying/Anxiety/Fear
(Preview)
Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...
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ohno
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6
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813
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what am I doing to take care of me
(Preview)
With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...
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neshema2
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4
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506
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How does one go about getting a sponsor?
(Preview)
Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...
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Mango
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6
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3642
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