Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjferg · mjferg

I have school now, which is a strain and it is very cold here,I didn't have any water this morning,I am having problems with my washing machine and I don't have a dryer so I have to lug clothes to the laundromat to dry them.My hot water tank was leaking and the water damaged a bathroom cabinet, it is covered...

flagbabe83 · flagbabe83

Hi, I'm new to all of this! I've come here because I feel like I'm losing a grip on reality and need some new perspective. Here's my story (the short of it): My husband and I have been married for 4 years, dating for 10. When I first met him in college, he'd drink a lot but no more than the average college stude...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ahhhhhhh. The day got off to a pretty bad start with everyone yelling at and about me and me waking up to it pretty bewildered and upset and I eventually yelled right back. It was just overwhelming. Everyone is picking on me, right? And I am thinking I literally cannot take another moment of this... Well...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C January 11 this is a powerful page as it speaks about the Al-Anon meetings and the feeling of support, understanding and love that is generated when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be gi...

bud · bud

I had been under the impression that if I wasn't seeking approval (and maybe I was dipping my big toe into that pool of water), that all my bases were covered, but something clearly still didn't feel right. My Uncle contacted me last night for information. I used words from my T.H.I.N.K. tank and spok...

harveysmom · harveysmom

Thankfully no kids involved... After many years of separation, he finally got evicted from his apartment, I got his stuff and took him to social services. He still wants to die. He was in the hospital night before last because he tried to sleep in his car that is on 3 flat tires. The police took him for a me...

ohno · ohno

For those of you who have family members who have turned out to be alcoholic, when you are working the steps, how are you able to trust God, when he obviously did nothing to prevent alcoholism in your loved one (and all of the negative effects on you)? I don't understand what you are trusting/not trustin...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple months. With everything going on through the holidays, boy scouts, everything else, well, you know how it goes sometimes. It was great to be there, and great to see how when you are gone for awhile and come back you can pick right back where you were at an Al Anon meet...

Jessmine · Jessmine

My husband relapsed recently - he is going downhill both physically & emotionally (depressed). I finally wrote down some boundaries/conditions that I could continue to live with him. One of them is that if he drinks on any given day, he will go to a motel. He agreed to the conditions. Today he d...

andromeda · andromeda

Something I don't talk about often here is my home meeting. It's a large meeting, 50 plus people most of the time where we have to use a podium to have people share or else others can't hear them talk, lol. I have been leading the meeting this month and I like doing service work for the group. The problem...

Katy · Katy

It's the early hours of the morning here and I was awoken a while back with our son coming in, he has a girlfriend now and a three month old baby son and has been a constant figure in her two other children,s life's, he has a drink problem though and he was in court last week for being drunk and disorderly, he...

neshema2 · neshema2

Yesterday and today were big tests for my back therapy...my self imposed, and through research, asking others, my tailored therapy for me......stretching, core strengthening, meditating...more focus on strength and agility/mobility and a bit less on cardio sitting is my worst enemy...there...

Debilyn · Debilyn

This is how I do my best to think. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive. All I know is I just cannot put up with someone hurting another person. Even if what one states is truth, for me it only hurts others and brings negativity. I learned positive goes a lot further than negative. Does not mean I am righ...

Truth · Truth

I finally got what it was I reread the email from my ex-A after I emotionally detached. In the email " Don't worry our son will be able to choose one day" I bought into the fear .... I chose to be afraid and scared. I had a future mind movie going on that he would have to choose. New message...

neshema2 · neshema2

So often I get caught up in "life" and the busyness I have challenges. Busy stuff. I forget to do my gratitude list. I am grateful my back held up after a grueling long day at work. Sore but recovered. Back is slowly healing Grateful I made decent money yesterday and helped a coworker with...

missmeliss · missmeliss

at my mothers. Sorry to come here with negativity but it's not very pleasant. It was a long day moving and cleaning out that little room we had been staying in today. The mother came to help move my stuff (I had told her not to and that I would move it OK on my own but, she doesn't seem to hear the frequency my vo...

DavidG · DavidG

The last f2f meeting I went to was in South Dakota. There was something good going on there and I went to three. Full meetings, vibrant, and there was a local Lakota presence. I could relate because I live in a rural town backing onto two small provincial cities. After one meeting one member came up and t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Playing the piano. And the fact that I can still play considering I mangled my dominant hand almost two months ago. Nov 17th I managed to chop off a third of my middle finger and about a 1/4 inch with nail of my index finger of my right hand - my first thoughts ran to not being able to play anymore, how hard was...

PP · PP

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart" Carl Jung In lieu of recent events, I thought it best to take some time and do what Carl Jung so beautifully said, as quoted in yesterday's Courage to Change. I will continue to look within my own heart, as there are sti...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP- When I read Hope for Today Jan 10, I got thinking about the state I was in a couple of years ago when I thankfully found MIP. I was 'off the chain' as some of my students would say. Not sleeping or eating and although not an A myself, certainly living in A behavior and completely addictiv...

axe · axe

I'm in my fourth month of sobriety (alcohol), through AA. My wife basically started drinking a glass of wine at night. This quickly spiraled into being a full blown alcoholic. She would say a lot of very hurtful things when she was drunk. She would also bring up being bored and wanting an open marriage,...

Luiza · Luiza

Hope everyone entered 2015 with health and hope. This is going to be a big year for me, new life, new home, SINGLE and alcohol crazy making free. I am looking forward to see the year unfolding and I am coping the best I can. I think I am doing well but I predict a storm ahead. Talking about last year, daughte...

el-cee · el-cee

There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In my 3 daily readers I just realized I am no longer suffering! Wow and thanks to Al-anon and my straight shooting dearly beloved sponsor for lovingly telling me like it is! Today's reading for One Day at a Time is also perfect for me, as long as I kept playing God I was in my own way and taking responsibili...

mattGrammy · mattGrammy

My husband, while in treatment, became very mean to me. He has shut me out. His words are mean and he can only talk about all my faults and how i need to fix myself and says nothing more about himself other then how much he has done for me, what integrity he has etc. he is going into sober living but will not te...

mjferg · mjferg

I had a birthday celebration and my daughter brought me a cat,I love cats and dogs!Poor Bella wasn't being treated very well and it is freezing cold here,my daughter was worried about her,so she talked to the owner about taking her.I am getting to know her,she is so happy to get attention,she meows con...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Dear All: I have followed through with listening, talking things over with my sponsor and paying attention to what all of you have said. At this point, this is what I've realized - I left the process before it came to a conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't just wait but, yes, Cathy (you smart woman you), I cou...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Serenity is something we have to work to get to, and work even more to keep and share. When things are feeling rough, what has helped me is to stop, think about it all without emotions. What is really going on? Is it appropriate, acceptable, will it hurt someone else? Am I concentrating on my stuff or goin...

Truth · Truth

I would appreciate any e/s/h on this topic. I am looking within checking with my values and making decisions. I say no now when it is not in line with my values. As in true form with my second guessing myself (I am trying to shift that thought to lol), I am struggling with this again. Feel confused again!! ...

Truth · Truth

Well I am back right into my disease again.....I must have missed it so much I have just spent three hours beating myself up for not understanding this feeling. Boo!!!!! Thanks MIP family for dealing with my ups and downs ....off to bed

bud · bud

Hi Family, Tonight my dear Uncle called, with a transparent fake cheerfulness, to let me know he had "great news". He wants to meet me when I'm down in his area to visit my Dad to give me something that my Mom wanted me to have. His chipper voice came across to me as great sarcasm and I found it...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well this isn't al-anon but then in a way it is. Feel free to delete it if it's just too far off the track. I'm playing a waiting game at the moment. I've been letting it drive me quite mad. I think that's rational, it has been 4 months now of having no fixed address and at times I have felt like I am really, hone...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....

drywit44 · drywit44

I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...

el-cee · el-cee

Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...

neshema2 · neshema2

I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...

NayNay · NayNay

New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...

Colibri · Colibri

My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.

Belle7 · Belle7

i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM

robinfl · robinfl

AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...

andromeda · andromeda

Prayers appreciated. I have the butterflies in my stomach. Our son has some math homework to finish and then we'll eat dinner and I think we'll tell him after that. Please pray!

neshema2 · neshema2

all this of late??? I am taking it TOO serious....its not about me, for me, directed at me, I guess my issue was and always will be safety....like if i don't do my program "right" will there be a private group consultation on me???? Thinking about it, I don't believe i am interesting or popul...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I have been on the MIP board for a little over two years. I am grateful for meeting you all, sharing my e/s/h and learning more. Recently, it came to my attention that there is group private messaging going on in the background on our board. I am a direct person and I will say directly that I know I can't st...

jennybee · jennybee

New to this site...just signed up actually. I don't know where else to go with this. Looking for your input please. I have a friend, who is more like my boyfriend, but we're not official in any way. Anyway, he's depressed. He talks about his issues and they seem deep rooted and have existed from a very...

intoit · intoit

Well, its been a long time since Ive written anything on here only because I didnt think I had much to write. I go toone meeting a week in our area which has been invaluable to me.I do however always turn to this board when in dire straits (no meetings over the holiday) - or at least my imagination of it! An...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I am trying to figure out what I'd like to see happen with the divorce and I want to present it to AH and make it very clear. I need to call our tax accountant and see if he can offer any insight because a lot of what I have to balance out on paper has to do with capital gains taxes, retirement monies and pena...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

I am new here and feeling overwhelmed by indecision and second guessing myself every step of the way. I want so badly to 'know Gods will' in all of this so that I can align my efforts with it but I keep getting mixed signals. I take my vows very seriously and they are probably part of the reason why I stayed an...

robinfl · robinfl

I'm sure most of you go through this. Do I stay or go (or ask him to go). Do I wait for the next crisis or go now to avoid the next crisis? I understand AL-anon will help either way. I understand one-day-at-a time. But I feel guilt towards my HP because I'm staying for financial support instead of relying on...

sueseas · sueseas

thanks and please read my biography and I would appreciate any responses.

Katrina324 · Katrina324

My boyfriend has been a heavy vodka drinker for over ten years, actually according to his family, sadly longer. He hid his drinking from me for the year and a half that we dated, I figured it out when I found him passed out in October. He cried, swore it wasn't so, promised he'd stop drinking. I found hi...

sadie73 · sadie73

Making this as short and to the the point as possible!!! I know I cannot be the only one dealing with this/these issues. I feel beyond confused and frustrated to the point I have no clue what to do. Quick background d of DH and I. Married for almost 21 years 3 lovely, smart daughters. 17, 11, and 5 We've had b...

Katy · Katy

I love reading your posts and I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to be treated so badly by your family, I know that when I am despairing and hurting I don't listen and I don't see, I react and it doesn't feel good,and when I do do this and and I do do it alot, I want to shut people out, and if they misunder...

Livi · Livi

Good Morning, Let me start by saying I have been a silent reader and then member here for quite a while now and we all live or have lived with the same chaos that surrounds an addict. My husband is an alcoholic and he was sober for 10 years before his first relapse that started 4 years ago. We have been th...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Umm .. yah .. so went into court to see what I can do and actually there is a lot .. LOL .. won't get into that at this point. After rereading the text to the DV person we were both crying laughing .. and I mean I am going I know this isn't funny however now that I'm reading this out loud the sheer bizarreness of i...

Katrina324 · Katrina324

Hello all, My name is Katrina, I'm a 49 going on 50 year old successful registered nurse that does hospice, and mom of two wonderful grown kids. My relationship was on the surface wonderful, tall, charming, successful car salesman, older, 60 with kids the same ages as mine. We met actually 20 year...

robinfl · robinfl

I did not know my husband was an alcoholic. We've been married 16 years. When we met he drank O'Douls. He began drinking an occasional real beer about three years ago when he retired. Now its almost every day. I thought he was a narcissist because he has a complete lack of empathy, manipulates m...

LinSC · LinSC

I've heard that it might make you feel better when you help when you shouldn't. And in some ways it may be an ego booster. Or it may be fear. I think I have an idea on this, but the meanings seem to escape me. Can anyone say a little more on this subject, thanks, LSC

Helpangel · Helpangel

Has anyone had panic attacks when there alcoholic gets out of rehab after 30 days?? I had a full blown couldn't breathe and I was just wondering what has anyone done when they are trying to work on there marriage. He is being very nice and is really trying. He made a negative face at me and apologized when I...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I am feeling irritable (Preview) I have school now, which is a strain and it is very cold here,I didn't have any water this morning,I am having problems with my washing machine and I don't have a dryer so I have to lug clothes to the laundromat to dry them.My hot water tank was leaking and the water damaged a bathroom cabinet, it is covered...	mjferg	8	482	Jan 12, 2015 by mjferg
	Feel like I'm going crazy! (Preview) Hi, I'm new to all of this! I've come here because I feel like I'm losing a grip on reality and need some new perspective. Here's my story (the short of it): My husband and I have been married for 4 years, dating for 10. When I first met him in college, he'd drink a lot but no more than the average college stude...	flagbabe83	8	930	Jan 11, 2015 by andromeda
	A good day. (Preview) Ahhhhhhh. The day got off to a pretty bad start with everyone yelling at and about me and me waking up to it pretty bewildered and upset and I eventually yelled right back. It was just overwhelming. Everyone is picking on me, right? And I am thinking I literally cannot take another moment of this... Well...	missmeliss	14	2055	Jan 11, 2015 by Kerrymom
	C2C Today (Preview) C2C January 11 this is a powerful page as it speaks about the Al-Anon meetings and the feeling of support, understanding and love that is generated when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be gi...	hotrod	16	557	Jan 11, 2015 by Tasha
	It's not about me (again) (Preview) I had been under the impression that if I wasn't seeking approval (and maybe I was dipping my big toe into that pool of water), that all my bases were covered, but something clearly still didn't feel right. My Uncle contacted me last night for information. I used words from my T.H.I.N.K. tank and spok...	bud	10	515	Jan 11, 2015 by neshema2
	AH wants to die but says "don't worry so much about me" ps we are legally separated but not divorced. (Preview) Thankfully no kids involved... After many years of separation, he finally got evicted from his apartment, I got his stuff and took him to social services. He still wants to die. He was in the hospital night before last because he tried to sleep in his car that is on 3 flat tires. The police took him for a me...	harveysmom	8	745	Jan 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	How Do You Trust God When He Has Put An Alcoholic in Your Life? ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) For those of you who have family members who have turned out to be alcoholic, when you are working the steps, how are you able to trust God, when he obviously did nothing to prevent alcoholism in your loved one (and all of the negative effects on you)? I don't understand what you are trusting/not trustin...	ohno	88	2294	Jan 11, 2015 by grateful2be
	Went to my F2F home group last night - changed attitudes (Preview) I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple months. With everything going on through the holidays, boy scouts, everything else, well, you know how it goes sometimes. It was great to be there, and great to see how when you are gone for awhile and come back you can pick right back where you were at an Al Anon meet...	KennyFenderjazz	7	661	Jan 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	Paralyzed with fear (Preview) My husband relapsed recently - he is going downhill both physically & emotionally (depressed). I finally wrote down some boundaries/conditions that I could continue to live with him. One of them is that if he drinks on any given day, he will go to a motel. He agreed to the conditions. Today he d...	Jessmine	16	641	Jan 11, 2015 by andromeda
	Cliques at meetings (Preview) Something I don't talk about often here is my home meeting. It's a large meeting, 50 plus people most of the time where we have to use a podium to have people share or else others can't hear them talk, lol. I have been leading the meeting this month and I like doing service work for the group. The problem...	andromeda	14	1401	Jan 11, 2015 by DavidG
	stuff (Preview) It's the early hours of the morning here and I was awoken a while back with our son coming in, he has a girlfriend now and a three month old baby son and has been a constant figure in her two other children,s life's, he has a drink problem though and he was in court last week for being drunk and disorderly, he...	Katy	3	489	Jan 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	MY choice--MY effort---however HP is blessing it (Preview) Yesterday and today were big tests for my back therapy...my self imposed, and through research, asking others, my tailored therapy for me......stretching, core strengthening, meditating...more focus on strength and agility/mobility and a bit less on cardio sitting is my worst enemy...there...	neshema2	10	637	Jan 10, 2015 by grateful2be
	I like this bunches (Preview) This is how I do my best to think. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive. All I know is I just cannot put up with someone hurting another person. Even if what one states is truth, for me it only hurts others and brings negativity. I learned positive goes a lot further than negative. Does not mean I am righ...	Debilyn	29	741	Jan 10, 2015 by Jerry F
	The fear hook....False Evidence Appearing Real (Preview) I finally got what it was I reread the email from my ex-A after I emotionally detached. In the email " Don't worry our son will be able to choose one day" I bought into the fear .... I chose to be afraid and scared. I had a future mind movie going on that he would have to choose. New message...	Truth	9	566	Jan 10, 2015 by Truth
	What am I grateful for (Preview) So often I get caught up in "life" and the busyness I have challenges. Busy stuff. I forget to do my gratitude list. I am grateful my back held up after a grueling long day at work. Sore but recovered. Back is slowly healing Grateful I made decent money yesterday and helped a coworker with...	neshema2	5	584	Jan 10, 2015 by hotrod
	I've arrived (Preview) at my mothers. Sorry to come here with negativity but it's not very pleasant. It was a long day moving and cleaning out that little room we had been staying in today. The mother came to help move my stuff (I had told her not to and that I would move it OK on my own but, she doesn't seem to hear the frequency my vo...	missmeliss	13	452	Jan 10, 2015 by Luiza
	Alanon group issues, and me... (Preview) The last f2f meeting I went to was in South Dakota. There was something good going on there and I went to three. Full meetings, vibrant, and there was a local Lakota presence. I could relate because I live in a rural town backing onto two small provincial cities. After one meeting one member came up and t...	DavidG	6	747	Jan 10, 2015 by Jerry F
	Happiness is.... (Preview) Playing the piano. And the fact that I can still play considering I mangled my dominant hand almost two months ago. Nov 17th I managed to chop off a third of my middle finger and about a 1/4 inch with nail of my index finger of my right hand - my first thoughts ran to not being able to play anymore, how hard was...	likemyheart	12	1217	Jan 10, 2015 by missmeliss
	Jan 9 Courage to Change (Preview) "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart" Carl Jung In lieu of recent events, I thought it best to take some time and do what Carl Jung so beautifully said, as quoted in yesterday's Courage to Change. I will continue to look within my own heart, as there are sti...	PP	3	462	Jan 10, 2015 by neshema2
	Happy 2015 and grateful (Preview) Good morning MIP- When I read Hope for Today Jan 10, I got thinking about the state I was in a couple of years ago when I thankfully found MIP. I was 'off the chain' as some of my students would say. Not sleeping or eating and although not an A myself, certainly living in A behavior and completely addictiv...	yanksfan51	2	302	Jan 10, 2015 by hotrod
	im in early recovery, wife is in rehab (Preview) I'm in my fourth month of sobriety (alcohol), through AA. My wife basically started drinking a glass of wine at night. This quickly spiraled into being a full blown alcoholic. She would say a lot of very hurtful things when she was drunk. She would also bring up being bored and wanting an open marriage,...	axe	6	504	Jan 10, 2015 by bud
	Happy 2015 everyone! (Preview) Hope everyone entered 2015 with health and hope. This is going to be a big year for me, new life, new home, SINGLE and alcohol crazy making free. I am looking forward to see the year unfolding and I am coping the best I can. I think I am doing well but I predict a storm ahead. Talking about last year, daughte...	Luiza	4	470	Jan 10, 2015 by aquamom23
	danger zones (Preview) There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the...	el-cee	3	436	Jan 10, 2015 by aquamom23
	January 9th Hope For Today (Preview) In my 3 daily readers I just realized I am no longer suffering! Wow and thanks to Al-anon and my straight shooting dearly beloved sponsor for lovingly telling me like it is! Today's reading for One Day at a Time is also perfect for me, as long as I kept playing God I was in my own way and taking responsibili...	Breakingfree	5	684	Jan 9, 2015 by neshema2
	I really need some advice (Preview) My husband, while in treatment, became very mean to me. He has shut me out. His words are mean and he can only talk about all my faults and how i need to fix myself and says nothing more about himself other then how much he has done for me, what integrity he has etc. he is going into sober living but will not te...	mattGrammy	6	538	Jan 9, 2015 by Debilyn
	Bella and tolerance (Preview) I had a birthday celebration and my daughter brought me a cat,I love cats and dogs!Poor Bella wasn't being treated very well and it is freezing cold here,my daughter was worried about her,so she talked to the owner about taking her.I am getting to know her,she is so happy to get attention,she meows con...	mjferg	6	639	Jan 9, 2015 by neshema2
	Oh, my! An amends and a change of mind (Preview) Dear All: I have followed through with listening, talking things over with my sponsor and paying attention to what all of you have said. At this point, this is what I've realized - I left the process before it came to a conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't just wait but, yes, Cathy (you smart woman you), I cou...	grateful2be	38	936	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	serenity (Preview) Serenity is something we have to work to get to, and work even more to keep and share. When things are feeling rough, what has helped me is to stop, think about it all without emotions. What is really going on? Is it appropriate, acceptable, will it hurt someone else? Am I concentrating on my stuff or goin...	Debilyn	9	638	Jan 9, 2015 by hotrod
	How do you know the difference between punishing and being true to yourself? (Preview) I would appreciate any e/s/h on this topic. I am looking within checking with my values and making decisions. I say no now when it is not in line with my values. As in true form with my second guessing myself (I am trying to shift that thought to lol), I am struggling with this again. Feel confused again!! ...	Truth	14	828	Jan 9, 2015 by Truth
	Laying my own guilt trip on myself.... (Preview) Well I am back right into my disease again.....I must have missed it so much I have just spent three hours beating myself up for not understanding this feeling. Boo!!!!! Thanks MIP family for dealing with my ups and downs ....off to bed	Truth	3	452	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	Contemplating a 9th- complicated with fear (Preview) Hi Family, Tonight my dear Uncle called, with a transparent fake cheerfulness, to let me know he had "great news". He wants to meet me when I'm down in his area to visit my Dad to give me something that my Mom wanted me to have. His chipper voice came across to me as great sarcasm and I found it...	bud	10	650	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	soap (Preview) Well this isn't al-anon but then in a way it is. Feel free to delete it if it's just too far off the track. I'm playing a waiting game at the moment. I've been letting it drive me quite mad. I think that's rational, it has been 4 months now of having no fixed address and at times I have felt like I am really, hone...	missmeliss	12	700	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	My son and me. Me and my son. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...	grateful2be	45	1974	Jan 8, 2015 by grateful2be
	income tax study time (Preview) Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....	neshema2	3	467	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	Al-Anon-ic behavior? coercion sharing anxiety (Preview) I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...	drywit44	10	8170	Jan 8, 2015 by Tasha
	January jitters (Preview) Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...	el-cee	16	655	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	something I learned ESH?? or enabling??? (Preview) I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...	neshema2	15	646	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	Struggling (Preview) New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...	NayNay	6	563	Jan 8, 2015 by NayNay
	My son in prison wants to marry an alcoholic . . . ( 1 2 ) Son incarcerated marrying alcoholic (Preview) My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...	Colibri	44	9976	Jan 8, 2015 by Colibri
	FOO (Preview) OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.	cloudyskies	5	4352	Jan 8, 2015 by Debilyn
	Question about ALANON Meetings (Preview) i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM	Belle7	8	1411	Jan 8, 2015 by cloudyskies
	I need wine to cope. (Preview) AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...	robinfl	4	471	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	Telling our son tonight (Preview) Prayers appreciated. I have the butterflies in my stomach. Our son has some math homework to finish and then we'll eat dinner and I think we'll tell him after that. Please pray!	andromeda	15	844	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	OK...I took/am taking stuff TOO SERIOUSLY (Preview) all this of late??? I am taking it TOO serious....its not about me, for me, directed at me, I guess my issue was and always will be safety....like if i don't do my program "right" will there be a private group consultation on me???? Thinking about it, I don't believe i am interesting or popul...	neshema2	6	691	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	To All - My thanks (Preview) I have been on the MIP board for a little over two years. I am grateful for meeting you all, sharing my e/s/h and learning more. Recently, it came to my attention that there is group private messaging going on in the background on our board. I am a direct person and I will say directly that I know I can't st...	grateful2be	38	1155	Jan 8, 2015 by el-cee
	Totally scared but a bit angry and confused!! (Preview) New to this site...just signed up actually. I don't know where else to go with this. Looking for your input please. I have a friend, who is more like my boyfriend, but we're not official in any way. Anyway, he's depressed. He talks about his issues and they seem deep rooted and have existed from a very...	jennybee	8	623	Jan 8, 2015 by likemyheart
	An epiphany - MY role in A Sons recovery (Preview) Well, its been a long time since Ive written anything on here only because I didnt think I had much to write. I go toone meeting a week in our area which has been invaluable to me.I do however always turn to this board when in dire straits (no meetings over the holiday) - or at least my imagination of it! An...	intoit	12	657	Jan 7, 2015 by el-cee
	Frustrated, sick(stupid cold), working on financials (Preview) So, I am trying to figure out what I'd like to see happen with the divorce and I want to present it to AH and make it very clear. I need to call our tax accountant and see if he can offer any insight because a lot of what I have to balance out on paper has to do with capital gains taxes, retirement monies and pena...	andromeda	6	704	Jan 7, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	New to separation..input needed (Preview) I am new here and feeling overwhelmed by indecision and second guessing myself every step of the way. I want so badly to 'know Gods will' in all of this so that I can align my efforts with it but I keep getting mixed signals. I take my vows very seriously and they are probably part of the reason why I stayed an...	Hopefull15	3	739	Jan 7, 2015 by Hopefull15
	To Stay or Go (Preview) I'm sure most of you go through this. Do I stay or go (or ask him to go). Do I wait for the next crisis or go now to avoid the next crisis? I understand AL-anon will help either way. I understand one-day-at-a time. But I feel guilt towards my HP because I'm staying for financial support instead of relying on...	robinfl	18	852	Jan 7, 2015 by grateful2be
	I'm back in Al-Anon (Preview) thanks and please read my biography and I would appreciate any responses.	sueseas	5	563	Jan 7, 2015 by Colibri
	Boyfriend appears to be using AA as a reason to justify why he drinks, and I have a feeling he still is (Preview) My boyfriend has been a heavy vodka drinker for over ten years, actually according to his family, sadly longer. He hid his drinking from me for the year and a half that we dated, I figured it out when I found him passed out in October. He cried, swore it wasn't so, promised he'd stop drinking. I found hi...	Katrina324	16	517	Jan 7, 2015 by andromeda
	manipulation; breaking the cycle. help... (Preview) Making this as short and to the the point as possible!!! I know I cannot be the only one dealing with this/these issues. I feel beyond confused and frustrated to the point I have no clue what to do. Quick background d of DH and I. Married for almost 21 years 3 lovely, smart daughters. 17, 11, and 5 We've had b...	sadie73	7	898	Jan 7, 2015 by grateful2be
	Melly? (Preview) I love reading your posts and I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to be treated so badly by your family, I know that when I am despairing and hurting I don't listen and I don't see, I react and it doesn't feel good,and when I do do this and and I do do it alot, I want to shut people out, and if they misunder...	Katy	12	639	Jan 7, 2015 by Jill
	The Madness Is Finally Over And It Is Truly A Wonderful Thing :) (Preview) Good Morning, Let me start by saying I have been a silent reader and then member here for quite a while now and we all live or have lived with the same chaos that surrounds an addict. My husband is an alcoholic and he was sober for 10 years before his first relapse that started 4 years ago. We have been th...	Livi	13	897	Jan 7, 2015 by Livi
	Laugh or Cry .. (Preview) Umm .. yah .. so went into court to see what I can do and actually there is a lot .. LOL .. won't get into that at this point. After rereading the text to the DV person we were both crying laughing .. and I mean I am going I know this isn't funny however now that I'm reading this out loud the sheer bizarreness of i...	SerenityRUS	7	684	Jan 7, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Looking for support, ended my relationship becasue I couldn't handle his drinking and the constant lies (Preview) Hello all, My name is Katrina, I'm a 49 going on 50 year old successful registered nurse that does hospice, and mom of two wonderful grown kids. My relationship was on the surface wonderful, tall, charming, successful car salesman, older, 60 with kids the same ages as mine. We met actually 20 year...	Katrina324	18	834	Jan 6, 2015 by pinkchip
	Dry Drunk/ Relapse (Preview) I did not know my husband was an alcoholic. We've been married 16 years. When we met he drank O'Douls. He began drinking an occasional real beer about three years ago when he retired. Now its almost every day. I thought he was a narcissist because he has a complete lack of empathy, manipulates m...	robinfl	14	947	Jan 6, 2015 by neshema2
	Helping the Alcoholic/Addict (Preview) I've heard that it might make you feel better when you help when you shouldn't. And in some ways it may be an ego booster. Or it may be fear. I think I have an idea on this, but the meanings seem to escape me. Can anyone say a little more on this subject, thanks, LSC	LinSC	21	928	Jan 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	Panic attack because ah is out of rehab (Preview) Has anyone had panic attacks when there alcoholic gets out of rehab after 30 days?? I had a full blown couldn't breathe and I was just wondering what has anyone done when they are trying to work on there marriage. He is being very nice and is really trying. He made a negative face at me and apologized when I...	Helpangel	12	705	Jan 6, 2015 by Flower49
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.