Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah came out of rehab about two weeks ago and was suppose to stay in a apt we paid for the month. He has stayed two days out of two weeks. Not sure I like that, seems like he's taken back his territory. He was nice for about 6 days Rest if the time it is hit or miss. We have a lot of up and downs, He has been complai...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am really discovering how important my friendships are these days. Not that I really didn't realize what they mean to me. I just know that is very easy for me to be a friend & have very meaningful friendships. Recently through this program, I started to finally get to know my neighbor of 15 years. I...

mjferg · mjferg

Well, dealing with people isn't my strong suit.I am rough around the edges and I can be very blunt at times.I don't like to be jerked around and I can be very defensive.I have been called the B word.I need to deal with my landlord in a firm assertive way without getting angry and spouting off.That will be a...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Changed Attitudes; Honesty with Self; Principles above Personalities The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...

hotrod · hotrod

The One Day at a Time reading for today is a powerful reminder to examine our motives and discover what, within us, is keeping us ina destructive relationship and accepting of negative behavior and humiliation. The reading points out that every human being is entitled to live without fear, uncert...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I know several of us attend face to face meetings. If you are like me, you missed the memo on the fact that Al-Anon decided to start a working copy of a 4th Reader for Al-Anon members. They are asking for members to sign in at their webpage using your group's name with afg, going to the individuals/membe...

little miss daredevil · little miss daredevil

Hi, I have been a long time lurker and finally decided to make an account. The things that have been shared on this forum have been very helpful to me and I suppose it's time I outed myself to possibly have a little more specific advice to my situation because it is somewhat complicated. (I apologize in ad...

jorjorjor · jorjorjor

hey all, been in al anon a few years, working my 8th step right now, coming up against a lot of confusion about my higher powers will for me these days. I do a lot of social justice work and witness a lot of terrible things in the world, and i don't understand why my higher power would allow these things to be,...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I was going through taking screen shots of text messages (evidence) this afternoon. It's amazing to me that declarations of forever "love" and "waiting as long as it takes" lasted, as long as it took to send the message.Realistically I know and understand that my marriage was...

nic · nic

About 6 month ago I found out my partner, who I had always suspected of being an alcoholic, had gambled over 50K during the last few years while out on drinking binges. He promised to stop drinking, and swore that the gambling only happened when he was drinking and was not a problem in and of itself. Well...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT for today states that and if I learn to look at my life as an adventure I will discover thousands of little things that occur in daily that can enriches my day.If I stay in the present moment I can enjoy the sunrise, the sound of the birds, a long walk and all the interesting things I see a long way....

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I have to desribe what my brain does to me. I guess this might be called "stinking thinking". not sure. If one thing bothers me, then i start thinking about multiple bad things and my day spirals downward. I am trying to prevent that from happening today. I take martial arts. it isnt easy. I a...

DavidG · DavidG

The Alanon concepts might seem to be a long way off to some people. But I think it begins when a person comes to their first meeting. Simply coming along is the first stage of participation. We don't have to be getting it right- at least not all of the time. We have all bin there, done that... there is nothi...

hotrod · hotrod

As I said in a previous post, there has been a few days of confusion and controversy here and it is unsettling. I engaged with a member and other issues surfaced. If this happened at a face to face meeting we would hold a moment of silence followed by the serenity payer and proceed Maybe we coul...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have so many other things I want to share... I keep typing out these longer thoughts/vents, but I guess first I want to ask this question that has been bugging me. My AH quit drinking 7 months ago. He started going to AA the very night we staged an intervention, and starting working with his priest, who...

Katrina324 · Katrina324

Hi all, This is a rant, so hear me through please...... I have yet to go to another Al anon meeting, I went to one in December and wasn't sure what it all meant. I felt like it meant that the problem was mine, and I do understand that I need to stop trying to fix others. That I get. But I see that the steps are t...

flagbabe83 · flagbabe83

I had a talk with my AH last night. Tried to keep it to just how I feel and not throw any ultimatums at him. He gave me a bunch of lip service and says that he is going to quit drinking today. I worry that this is just all talk because he isn't seeking out any professional help. Should I encourage him to start wit...

shannon34 · shannon34

Alcoholism yep I was born into the life in 1980. Had a father that had his little girl wrapped around his finger when he was sober. I always felt like my dad was two people in one. A kind loving father and then a monster that could say and do things as though he hated me. His body was found at the young age of 39 a...

mjferg · mjferg

I have school now, which is a strain and it is very cold here,I didn't have any water this morning,I am having problems with my washing machine and I don't have a dryer so I have to lug clothes to the laundromat to dry them.My hot water tank was leaking and the water damaged a bathroom cabinet, it is covered...

flagbabe83 · flagbabe83

Hi, I'm new to all of this! I've come here because I feel like I'm losing a grip on reality and need some new perspective. Here's my story (the short of it): My husband and I have been married for 4 years, dating for 10. When I first met him in college, he'd drink a lot but no more than the average college stude...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Ahhhhhhh. The day got off to a pretty bad start with everyone yelling at and about me and me waking up to it pretty bewildered and upset and I eventually yelled right back. It was just overwhelming. Everyone is picking on me, right? And I am thinking I literally cannot take another moment of this... Well...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C January 11 this is a powerful page as it speaks about the Al-Anon meetings and the feeling of support, understanding and love that is generated when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be gi...

bud · bud

I had been under the impression that if I wasn't seeking approval (and maybe I was dipping my big toe into that pool of water), that all my bases were covered, but something clearly still didn't feel right. My Uncle contacted me last night for information. I used words from my T.H.I.N.K. tank and spok...

harveysmom · harveysmom

Thankfully no kids involved... After many years of separation, he finally got evicted from his apartment, I got his stuff and took him to social services. He still wants to die. He was in the hospital night before last because he tried to sleep in his car that is on 3 flat tires. The police took him for a me...

ohno · ohno

For those of you who have family members who have turned out to be alcoholic, when you are working the steps, how are you able to trust God, when he obviously did nothing to prevent alcoholism in your loved one (and all of the negative effects on you)? I don't understand what you are trusting/not trustin...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple months. With everything going on through the holidays, boy scouts, everything else, well, you know how it goes sometimes. It was great to be there, and great to see how when you are gone for awhile and come back you can pick right back where you were at an Al Anon meet...

Jessmine · Jessmine

My husband relapsed recently - he is going downhill both physically & emotionally (depressed). I finally wrote down some boundaries/conditions that I could continue to live with him. One of them is that if he drinks on any given day, he will go to a motel. He agreed to the conditions. Today he d...

andromeda · andromeda

Something I don't talk about often here is my home meeting. It's a large meeting, 50 plus people most of the time where we have to use a podium to have people share or else others can't hear them talk, lol. I have been leading the meeting this month and I like doing service work for the group. The problem...

Katy · Katy

It's the early hours of the morning here and I was awoken a while back with our son coming in, he has a girlfriend now and a three month old baby son and has been a constant figure in her two other children,s life's, he has a drink problem though and he was in court last week for being drunk and disorderly, he...

neshema2 · neshema2

Yesterday and today were big tests for my back therapy...my self imposed, and through research, asking others, my tailored therapy for me......stretching, core strengthening, meditating...more focus on strength and agility/mobility and a bit less on cardio sitting is my worst enemy...there...

Debilyn · Debilyn

This is how I do my best to think. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive. All I know is I just cannot put up with someone hurting another person. Even if what one states is truth, for me it only hurts others and brings negativity. I learned positive goes a lot further than negative. Does not mean I am righ...

Truth · Truth

I finally got what it was I reread the email from my ex-A after I emotionally detached. In the email " Don't worry our son will be able to choose one day" I bought into the fear .... I chose to be afraid and scared. I had a future mind movie going on that he would have to choose. New message...

neshema2 · neshema2

So often I get caught up in "life" and the busyness I have challenges. Busy stuff. I forget to do my gratitude list. I am grateful my back held up after a grueling long day at work. Sore but recovered. Back is slowly healing Grateful I made decent money yesterday and helped a coworker with...

missmeliss · missmeliss

at my mothers. Sorry to come here with negativity but it's not very pleasant. It was a long day moving and cleaning out that little room we had been staying in today. The mother came to help move my stuff (I had told her not to and that I would move it OK on my own but, she doesn't seem to hear the frequency my vo...

DavidG · DavidG

The last f2f meeting I went to was in South Dakota. There was something good going on there and I went to three. Full meetings, vibrant, and there was a local Lakota presence. I could relate because I live in a rural town backing onto two small provincial cities. After one meeting one member came up and t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Playing the piano. And the fact that I can still play considering I mangled my dominant hand almost two months ago. Nov 17th I managed to chop off a third of my middle finger and about a 1/4 inch with nail of my index finger of my right hand - my first thoughts ran to not being able to play anymore, how hard was...

PP · PP

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart" Carl Jung In lieu of recent events, I thought it best to take some time and do what Carl Jung so beautifully said, as quoted in yesterday's Courage to Change. I will continue to look within my own heart, as there are sti...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning MIP- When I read Hope for Today Jan 10, I got thinking about the state I was in a couple of years ago when I thankfully found MIP. I was 'off the chain' as some of my students would say. Not sleeping or eating and although not an A myself, certainly living in A behavior and completely addictiv...

axe · axe

I'm in my fourth month of sobriety (alcohol), through AA. My wife basically started drinking a glass of wine at night. This quickly spiraled into being a full blown alcoholic. She would say a lot of very hurtful things when she was drunk. She would also bring up being bored and wanting an open marriage,...

Luiza · Luiza

Hope everyone entered 2015 with health and hope. This is going to be a big year for me, new life, new home, SINGLE and alcohol crazy making free. I am looking forward to see the year unfolding and I am coping the best I can. I think I am doing well but I predict a storm ahead. Talking about last year, daughte...

el-cee · el-cee

There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

In my 3 daily readers I just realized I am no longer suffering! Wow and thanks to Al-anon and my straight shooting dearly beloved sponsor for lovingly telling me like it is! Today's reading for One Day at a Time is also perfect for me, as long as I kept playing God I was in my own way and taking responsibili...

mattGrammy · mattGrammy

My husband, while in treatment, became very mean to me. He has shut me out. His words are mean and he can only talk about all my faults and how i need to fix myself and says nothing more about himself other then how much he has done for me, what integrity he has etc. he is going into sober living but will not te...

mjferg · mjferg

I had a birthday celebration and my daughter brought me a cat,I love cats and dogs!Poor Bella wasn't being treated very well and it is freezing cold here,my daughter was worried about her,so she talked to the owner about taking her.I am getting to know her,she is so happy to get attention,she meows con...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Dear All: I have followed through with listening, talking things over with my sponsor and paying attention to what all of you have said. At this point, this is what I've realized - I left the process before it came to a conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't just wait but, yes, Cathy (you smart woman you), I cou...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Serenity is something we have to work to get to, and work even more to keep and share. When things are feeling rough, what has helped me is to stop, think about it all without emotions. What is really going on? Is it appropriate, acceptable, will it hurt someone else? Am I concentrating on my stuff or goin...

Truth · Truth

I would appreciate any e/s/h on this topic. I am looking within checking with my values and making decisions. I say no now when it is not in line with my values. As in true form with my second guessing myself (I am trying to shift that thought to lol), I am struggling with this again. Feel confused again!! ...

Truth · Truth

Well I am back right into my disease again.....I must have missed it so much I have just spent three hours beating myself up for not understanding this feeling. Boo!!!!! Thanks MIP family for dealing with my ups and downs ....off to bed

bud · bud

Hi Family, Tonight my dear Uncle called, with a transparent fake cheerfulness, to let me know he had "great news". He wants to meet me when I'm down in his area to visit my Dad to give me something that my Mom wanted me to have. His chipper voice came across to me as great sarcasm and I found it...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well this isn't al-anon but then in a way it is. Feel free to delete it if it's just too far off the track. I'm playing a waiting game at the moment. I've been letting it drive me quite mad. I think that's rational, it has been 4 months now of having no fixed address and at times I have felt like I am really, hone...

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....

drywit44 · drywit44

I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...

el-cee · el-cee

Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...

neshema2 · neshema2

I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...

NayNay · NayNay

New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...

Colibri · Colibri

My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.

Belle7 · Belle7

i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM

robinfl · robinfl

AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Suggestions how how to deal with recovering alcoholics (Preview) My ah came out of rehab about two weeks ago and was suppose to stay in a apt we paid for the month. He has stayed two days out of two weeks. Not sure I like that, seems like he's taken back his territory. He was nice for about 6 days Rest if the time it is hit or miss. We have a lot of up and downs, He has been complai...	Helpangel	1	610	Jan 14, 2015 by Flower49
	friendships: new & old (Preview) I am really discovering how important my friendships are these days. Not that I really didn't realize what they mean to me. I just know that is very easy for me to be a friend & have very meaningful friendships. Recently through this program, I started to finally get to know my neighbor of 15 years. I...	Hoot Nanny	4	592	Jan 14, 2015 by Breakingfree
	practice,practice,practice (Preview) Well, dealing with people isn't my strong suit.I am rough around the edges and I can be very blunt at times.I don't like to be jerked around and I can be very defensive.I have been called the B word.I need to deal with my landlord in a firm assertive way without getting angry and spouting off.That will be a...	mjferg	4	642	Jan 14, 2015 by Breakingfree
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Changed Attitudes; Honesty with Self; Principles above Personalities The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...	shimo	0	542	Jan 14, 2015 by shimo
	Thoughts on ODAT for today (Preview) The One Day at a Time reading for today is a powerful reminder to examine our motives and discover what, within us, is keeping us ina destructive relationship and accepting of negative behavior and humiliation. The reading points out that every human being is entitled to live without fear, uncert...	hotrod	11	722	Jan 13, 2015 by Truth
	World Service Office of Al-Anon's request for member submissions for 4th reader (Preview) I know several of us attend face to face meetings. If you are like me, you missed the memo on the fact that Al-Anon decided to start a working copy of a 4th Reader for Al-Anon members. They are asking for members to sign in at their webpage using your group's name with afg, going to the individuals/membe...	grateful2be	5	1028	Jan 13, 2015 by grateful2be
	Hello and thank you (Preview) Hi, I have been a long time lurker and finally decided to make an account. The things that have been shared on this forum have been very helpful to me and I suppose it's time I outed myself to possibly have a little more specific advice to my situation because it is somewhat complicated. (I apologize in ad...	little miss daredevil	9	582	Jan 13, 2015 by PP
	seeking thoughts on dropping the rock (Preview) hey all, been in al anon a few years, working my 8th step right now, coming up against a lot of confusion about my higher powers will for me these days. I do a lot of social justice work and witness a lot of terrible things in the world, and i don't understand why my higher power would allow these things to be,...	jorjorjor	5	635	Jan 12, 2015 by Debilyn
	Why I need to keep coming back (Preview) I was going through taking screen shots of text messages (evidence) this afternoon. It's amazing to me that declarations of forever "love" and "waiting as long as it takes" lasted, as long as it took to send the message.Realistically I know and understand that my marriage was...	Jackie11	6	574	Jan 12, 2015 by grateful2be
	Alcoholic partner just lied to me after 5 months of trust (Preview) About 6 month ago I found out my partner, who I had always suspected of being an alcoholic, had gambled over 50K during the last few years while out on drinking binges. He promised to stop drinking, and swore that the gambling only happened when he was drinking and was not a problem in and of itself. Well...	nic	6	666	Jan 12, 2015 by aquamom23
	ODAT Thought for Today (Preview) ODAT for today states that and if I learn to look at my life as an adventure I will discover thousands of little things that occur in daily that can enriches my day.If I stay in the present moment I can enjoy the sunrise, the sound of the birds, a long walk and all the interesting things I see a long way....	hotrod	13	680	Jan 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Beating myself up isn't good....need ESH (Preview) I have to desribe what my brain does to me. I guess this might be called "stinking thinking". not sure. If one thing bothers me, then i start thinking about multiple bad things and my day spirals downward. I am trying to prevent that from happening today. I take martial arts. it isnt easy. I a...	Newlife girl	9	698	Jan 12, 2015 by Newlife girl
	Alanon Concept 4: Participation is the key to harmony... (Preview) The Alanon concepts might seem to be a long way off to some people. But I think it begins when a person comes to their first meeting. Simply coming along is the first stage of participation. We don't have to be getting it right- at least not all of the time. We have all bin there, done that... there is nothi...	DavidG	3	1487	Jan 12, 2015 by hotrod
	MIP Unity (Preview) As I said in a previous post, there has been a few days of confusion and controversy here and it is unsettling. I engaged with a member and other issues surfaced. If this happened at a face to face meeting we would hold a moment of silence followed by the serenity payer and proceed Maybe we coul...	hotrod	9	707	Jan 12, 2015 by Flower49
	Other models besides AA? (Preview) I have so many other things I want to share... I keep typing out these longer thoughts/vents, but I guess first I want to ask this question that has been bugging me. My AH quit drinking 7 months ago. He started going to AA the very night we staged an intervention, and starting working with his priest, who...	oceanpine	9	951	Jan 12, 2015 by milkwood
	Struggling with all of this, I don't really understand the steps of Al anon and AA (Preview) Hi all, This is a rant, so hear me through please...... I have yet to go to another Al anon meeting, I went to one in December and wasn't sure what it all meant. I felt like it meant that the problem was mine, and I do understand that I need to stop trying to fix others. That I get. But I see that the steps are t...	Katrina324	16	1555	Jan 12, 2015 by PP
	A new day (Preview) I had a talk with my AH last night. Tried to keep it to just how I feel and not throw any ultimatums at him. He gave me a bunch of lip service and says that he is going to quit drinking today. I worry that this is just all talk because he isn't seeking out any professional help. Should I encourage him to start wit...	flagbabe83	2	539	Jan 12, 2015 by hotrod
	WHY!!!!!!!???? (Preview) Alcoholism yep I was born into the life in 1980. Had a father that had his little girl wrapped around his finger when he was sober. I always felt like my dad was two people in one. A kind loving father and then a monster that could say and do things as though he hated me. His body was found at the young age of 39 a...	shannon34	5	532	Jan 12, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I am feeling irritable (Preview) I have school now, which is a strain and it is very cold here,I didn't have any water this morning,I am having problems with my washing machine and I don't have a dryer so I have to lug clothes to the laundromat to dry them.My hot water tank was leaking and the water damaged a bathroom cabinet, it is covered...	mjferg	8	527	Jan 12, 2015 by mjferg
	Feel like I'm going crazy! (Preview) Hi, I'm new to all of this! I've come here because I feel like I'm losing a grip on reality and need some new perspective. Here's my story (the short of it): My husband and I have been married for 4 years, dating for 10. When I first met him in college, he'd drink a lot but no more than the average college stude...	flagbabe83	8	974	Jan 11, 2015 by andromeda
	A good day. (Preview) Ahhhhhhh. The day got off to a pretty bad start with everyone yelling at and about me and me waking up to it pretty bewildered and upset and I eventually yelled right back. It was just overwhelming. Everyone is picking on me, right? And I am thinking I literally cannot take another moment of this... Well...	missmeliss	14	2303	Jan 11, 2015 by Kerrymom
	C2C Today (Preview) C2C January 11 this is a powerful page as it speaks about the Al-Anon meetings and the feeling of support, understanding and love that is generated when we are accepted for who we are. We can share without having to pretend and trust that what we share will not be gossiped about and that we will not be gi...	hotrod	16	611	Jan 11, 2015 by Tasha
	It's not about me (again) (Preview) I had been under the impression that if I wasn't seeking approval (and maybe I was dipping my big toe into that pool of water), that all my bases were covered, but something clearly still didn't feel right. My Uncle contacted me last night for information. I used words from my T.H.I.N.K. tank and spok...	bud	10	565	Jan 11, 2015 by neshema2
	AH wants to die but says "don't worry so much about me" ps we are legally separated but not divorced. (Preview) Thankfully no kids involved... After many years of separation, he finally got evicted from his apartment, I got his stuff and took him to social services. He still wants to die. He was in the hospital night before last because he tried to sleep in his car that is on 3 flat tires. The police took him for a me...	harveysmom	8	793	Jan 11, 2015 by tiredtonite
	How Do You Trust God When He Has Put An Alcoholic in Your Life? ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) For those of you who have family members who have turned out to be alcoholic, when you are working the steps, how are you able to trust God, when he obviously did nothing to prevent alcoholism in your loved one (and all of the negative effects on you)? I don't understand what you are trusting/not trustin...	ohno	88	2405	Jan 11, 2015 by grateful2be
	Went to my F2F home group last night - changed attitudes (Preview) I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple months. With everything going on through the holidays, boy scouts, everything else, well, you know how it goes sometimes. It was great to be there, and great to see how when you are gone for awhile and come back you can pick right back where you were at an Al Anon meet...	KennyFenderjazz	7	707	Jan 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	Paralyzed with fear (Preview) My husband relapsed recently - he is going downhill both physically & emotionally (depressed). I finally wrote down some boundaries/conditions that I could continue to live with him. One of them is that if he drinks on any given day, he will go to a motel. He agreed to the conditions. Today he d...	Jessmine	16	687	Jan 11, 2015 by andromeda
	Cliques at meetings (Preview) Something I don't talk about often here is my home meeting. It's a large meeting, 50 plus people most of the time where we have to use a podium to have people share or else others can't hear them talk, lol. I have been leading the meeting this month and I like doing service work for the group. The problem...	andromeda	14	1473	Jan 11, 2015 by DavidG
	stuff (Preview) It's the early hours of the morning here and I was awoken a while back with our son coming in, he has a girlfriend now and a three month old baby son and has been a constant figure in her two other children,s life's, he has a drink problem though and he was in court last week for being drunk and disorderly, he...	Katy	3	537	Jan 11, 2015 by missmeliss
	MY choice--MY effort---however HP is blessing it (Preview) Yesterday and today were big tests for my back therapy...my self imposed, and through research, asking others, my tailored therapy for me......stretching, core strengthening, meditating...more focus on strength and agility/mobility and a bit less on cardio sitting is my worst enemy...there...	neshema2	10	681	Jan 10, 2015 by grateful2be
	I like this bunches (Preview) This is how I do my best to think. Maybe I am too protective, too sensitive. All I know is I just cannot put up with someone hurting another person. Even if what one states is truth, for me it only hurts others and brings negativity. I learned positive goes a lot further than negative. Does not mean I am righ...	Debilyn	29	789	Jan 10, 2015 by Jerry F
	The fear hook....False Evidence Appearing Real (Preview) I finally got what it was I reread the email from my ex-A after I emotionally detached. In the email " Don't worry our son will be able to choose one day" I bought into the fear .... I chose to be afraid and scared. I had a future mind movie going on that he would have to choose. New message...	Truth	9	623	Jan 10, 2015 by Truth
	What am I grateful for (Preview) So often I get caught up in "life" and the busyness I have challenges. Busy stuff. I forget to do my gratitude list. I am grateful my back held up after a grueling long day at work. Sore but recovered. Back is slowly healing Grateful I made decent money yesterday and helped a coworker with...	neshema2	5	633	Jan 10, 2015 by hotrod
	I've arrived (Preview) at my mothers. Sorry to come here with negativity but it's not very pleasant. It was a long day moving and cleaning out that little room we had been staying in today. The mother came to help move my stuff (I had told her not to and that I would move it OK on my own but, she doesn't seem to hear the frequency my vo...	missmeliss	13	502	Jan 10, 2015 by Luiza
	Alanon group issues, and me... (Preview) The last f2f meeting I went to was in South Dakota. There was something good going on there and I went to three. Full meetings, vibrant, and there was a local Lakota presence. I could relate because I live in a rural town backing onto two small provincial cities. After one meeting one member came up and t...	DavidG	6	792	Jan 10, 2015 by Jerry F
	Happiness is.... (Preview) Playing the piano. And the fact that I can still play considering I mangled my dominant hand almost two months ago. Nov 17th I managed to chop off a third of my middle finger and about a 1/4 inch with nail of my index finger of my right hand - my first thoughts ran to not being able to play anymore, how hard was...	likemyheart	12	1265	Jan 10, 2015 by missmeliss
	Jan 9 Courage to Change (Preview) "Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart" Carl Jung In lieu of recent events, I thought it best to take some time and do what Carl Jung so beautifully said, as quoted in yesterday's Courage to Change. I will continue to look within my own heart, as there are sti...	PP	3	506	Jan 10, 2015 by neshema2
	Happy 2015 and grateful (Preview) Good morning MIP- When I read Hope for Today Jan 10, I got thinking about the state I was in a couple of years ago when I thankfully found MIP. I was 'off the chain' as some of my students would say. Not sleeping or eating and although not an A myself, certainly living in A behavior and completely addictiv...	yanksfan51	2	352	Jan 10, 2015 by hotrod
	im in early recovery, wife is in rehab (Preview) I'm in my fourth month of sobriety (alcohol), through AA. My wife basically started drinking a glass of wine at night. This quickly spiraled into being a full blown alcoholic. She would say a lot of very hurtful things when she was drunk. She would also bring up being bored and wanting an open marriage,...	axe	6	547	Jan 10, 2015 by bud
	Happy 2015 everyone! (Preview) Hope everyone entered 2015 with health and hope. This is going to be a big year for me, new life, new home, SINGLE and alcohol crazy making free. I am looking forward to see the year unfolding and I am coping the best I can. I think I am doing well but I predict a storm ahead. Talking about last year, daughte...	Luiza	4	521	Jan 10, 2015 by aquamom23
	danger zones (Preview) There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the...	el-cee	3	478	Jan 10, 2015 by aquamom23
	January 9th Hope For Today (Preview) In my 3 daily readers I just realized I am no longer suffering! Wow and thanks to Al-anon and my straight shooting dearly beloved sponsor for lovingly telling me like it is! Today's reading for One Day at a Time is also perfect for me, as long as I kept playing God I was in my own way and taking responsibili...	Breakingfree	5	724	Jan 9, 2015 by neshema2
	I really need some advice (Preview) My husband, while in treatment, became very mean to me. He has shut me out. His words are mean and he can only talk about all my faults and how i need to fix myself and says nothing more about himself other then how much he has done for me, what integrity he has etc. he is going into sober living but will not te...	mattGrammy	6	579	Jan 9, 2015 by Debilyn
	Bella and tolerance (Preview) I had a birthday celebration and my daughter brought me a cat,I love cats and dogs!Poor Bella wasn't being treated very well and it is freezing cold here,my daughter was worried about her,so she talked to the owner about taking her.I am getting to know her,she is so happy to get attention,she meows con...	mjferg	6	675	Jan 9, 2015 by neshema2
	Oh, my! An amends and a change of mind (Preview) Dear All: I have followed through with listening, talking things over with my sponsor and paying attention to what all of you have said. At this point, this is what I've realized - I left the process before it came to a conclusion. I'm sorry I didn't just wait but, yes, Cathy (you smart woman you), I cou...	grateful2be	38	983	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	serenity (Preview) Serenity is something we have to work to get to, and work even more to keep and share. When things are feeling rough, what has helped me is to stop, think about it all without emotions. What is really going on? Is it appropriate, acceptable, will it hurt someone else? Am I concentrating on my stuff or goin...	Debilyn	9	680	Jan 9, 2015 by hotrod
	How do you know the difference between punishing and being true to yourself? (Preview) I would appreciate any e/s/h on this topic. I am looking within checking with my values and making decisions. I say no now when it is not in line with my values. As in true form with my second guessing myself (I am trying to shift that thought to lol), I am struggling with this again. Feel confused again!! ...	Truth	14	890	Jan 9, 2015 by Truth
	Laying my own guilt trip on myself.... (Preview) Well I am back right into my disease again.....I must have missed it so much I have just spent three hours beating myself up for not understanding this feeling. Boo!!!!! Thanks MIP family for dealing with my ups and downs ....off to bed	Truth	3	493	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	Contemplating a 9th- complicated with fear (Preview) Hi Family, Tonight my dear Uncle called, with a transparent fake cheerfulness, to let me know he had "great news". He wants to meet me when I'm down in his area to visit my Dad to give me something that my Mom wanted me to have. His chipper voice came across to me as great sarcasm and I found it...	bud	10	696	Jan 9, 2015 by grateful2be
	soap (Preview) Well this isn't al-anon but then in a way it is. Feel free to delete it if it's just too far off the track. I'm playing a waiting game at the moment. I've been letting it drive me quite mad. I think that's rational, it has been 4 months now of having no fixed address and at times I have felt like I am really, hone...	missmeliss	12	748	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	My son and me. Me and my son. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) My son has been in yet another rehabilitation, lockdown situation for several months. I received one letter from him which was basically a request for me to send him cash, talk with his PO to get her to talk with his new gf, and to tell me some news with a little guilt tripping in the mix. I responded to hi...	grateful2be	45	2060	Jan 8, 2015 by grateful2be
	income tax study time (Preview) Well, I am gonna be busy going through the latest tax forms re: income taxes for this 2014 ending year... i have students, salesmen, entrepreneurs , a mix of clients.....so i am downloading all my study forms from my study site i signed up for.... I will be on, but not as much till tax season is over with.....	neshema2	3	508	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	Al-Anon-ic behavior? coercion sharing anxiety (Preview) I'm a civilian married to a 30-year Al Anon member who has me going (whom I let guilt me into going) to Chapter 9 meetings, as 12-step for couples. (Both of us agree that our marriage is fantastic.) During the share time I was silent for several weeks, began trying to speak and was immediately hit with sev...	drywit44	10	8677	Jan 8, 2015 by Tasha
	January jitters (Preview) Do you ever feel all out of kilter, like the world has gone a wee bit mad? Or is it just me? Probably. Meetings closing for the holidays and then a fullmoon has me acting like a madwoman. Serenity has left the building. Gone from my life, once again. My meetings started back tonight but the weather turned r...	el-cee	16	696	Jan 8, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	something I learned ESH?? or enabling??? (Preview) I saw a quote---------The two most important days in your life, are they day when you were born and the day you found out why. ************************************ some folks never find out why b/c they never do an honest, open,humble self discovery work on themselves....they never really really...	neshema2	15	686	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
	Struggling (Preview) New here. . . . When I started dating my ABF I didn't know he was in recovery. I suppose it's not on the top 10 list of things to tell the woman you're interested in. We had probably been dating two months when he sat me down and started the discussion. If I'm honest my first instinct was to jump and run, I reall...	NayNay	6	603	Jan 8, 2015 by NayNay
	My son in prison wants to marry an alcoholic . . . ( 1 2 ) Son incarcerated marrying alcoholic (Preview) My son is 28, a former alcohol and drug abuser who was able to stop using, somehow, without reliance on the 12 Steps. He is incarcerated at present and will be out (and probably deported) in about three years. He tells me there is access to drugs and alcohol inside but he is able to refrain from using beca...	Colibri	44	10632	Jan 8, 2015 by Colibri
	FOO (Preview) OK yall, I've been in Al-Anon for about 8 months, and I keep seeing the acronym FOO used in posts. I know this is something I should know, but I don't. Could someone please tell me what FOO stands for? Merciful Heavens, I'm showing my ignorance here. Thanks in advance.	cloudyskies	5	4696	Jan 8, 2015 by Debilyn
	Question about ALANON Meetings (Preview) i am new to this site, and have yet to attend an alanon meeting. could someone please tell me what the meetings are like? I am extremely nervous. Thankyou -- Edited by Belle7 on Thursday 8th of January 2015 06:34:06 PM	Belle7	8	1474	Jan 8, 2015 by cloudyskies
	I need wine to cope. (Preview) AH lets me know he is in the mood and tomorrow we should "you know". I say tonight is better because I can only stand it when I have wine, he says OK, and I prepare by having a glass of wine. An hour later he comes into my room and my dog jumped on the bed (I can't control the dog, guess, I didn'...	robinfl	4	522	Jan 8, 2015 by neshema2
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.