Garden Variety Venting - Al-Anon Family Group

PP · ~*Service Worker*~

RE: Garden Variety Venting

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree Mattie You are amazing and in my prayers Ms.M.

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

"Whatever" wasn't directed at anyone in particular. It was meant in the sense of "well I assume everyone thinks this about me but whatever, its not my business". Sad that you took it personally. There was a smile on my face and i was being a little light-hearted when I replied to you too pink, I thought I conveyed that. I think given the incredibly depressed frame of mind I was in and the fact that i said i had been sitting in the dark thinking of offing myself all day might suggest I wasn't thinking about much other than my own crap at the time and was tryinng to lighten myself up a bit and not be so morose? Sorry for being selfish.
Well a few people basically farewelled me here over not liking what I have to say and thinking I am unkind and uncaring so, goodbye indeed. Much love to all.

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Mel..it's been 2 years rooting for you and caring about your progress. I know I don't always say things in the best way or at the right time. We are all here because we have "fix it" tendencies. Maybe I want to fix this for you too much and that's my issue. Either way, it would take a WHOLE lot more for me to get seriously upset with you about anything. Praying for you. Don't go anywhere.

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

And I love and appreciate it more than you can know. I think you're wonderful, all of you. It's true that I am not great at hearing people just recently, I have gotten myself into a pretty dark place and there's not much room in here for anyone else. Dark places are selfish and childish as we all know. It's going to take work to climb back out. I read recently that depression is actually our way of self medicating something worse, that being spiritual deficiency. I thought that was an interesting way to look at it. But my point being I wasn't paying proper attention to what people wrote and have only gone back now to read more deeply. That's often the case when I am upset, I don't absorb stuff and have to re-read it later. I sure didn't mean to upset anyone or hurt anyone's feelings.

What I don't do is think unkind things about or towards people and it hurts quite a lot when I am interpreted as malicious. I don't have the will to JADE here and I obviously don't have much to offer anyone other than to frustrate and offend so I will read but refrain from posting for now.

Mattie I did love your analogy too, it's a keeper! I can visualise that and use it.

Love to all.

ps I just got a call about a house, I can sign a lease and move in this week. Perhaps I let something go when I was being miserable last night. It's a bit expensive but highly suitable. Not sure what I will do but its a very positive sign anyway. Time to go for a drive to the town and get the newspaper and scour for jobs methinks.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

I am glad you received that call MsM. Prayers are still continuing

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Scratch that. Apparently it was a mistake and they approved someone else but called me accidentally. Awesome.

-- Edited by missmeliss on Sunday 4th of January 2015 08:30:12 PM

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Sorry MsM This is disappointing.

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

Continued prayers Melly- You're tackling a truly great challenge right now and it will pass no matter how bleak things may look at the moment; I have confidence that you will get yourself and your daughter to a better place because your determination and resourcefulness is rooted deeply in your nature. Please vent away, let us support you how we best can, and keep us posted how you're doing.

Newlife girl · ~*Service Worker*~

I am sorry you are going through this. i have faith you won't be homeless. What about a friend of your daughter's? would you be able to rent a room from someone she might know? what about a cheap motel? homeless shelter? there has to be something for you. I understand going to see the A. he is familiar to you. I have found it helpful for me if i keep really busy...working...doing housework...whatever it is to keep my mind off the A. i always feel worse when dealing with my AH. i am wondering if thats what happened with you? dont you feel worse after being with him for 3 days? for me, every time i think things will be different with my AH...they aren't. and i end up feeling more depressed after being around him or talking to him on the phone.

Sweet Stanley · ~*Service Worker*~

No ESH...just a BIG hug for you Melly. I will be praying for you and your family. cry

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

Don't lose faith or hope, I have been misunderstood and said the wrong things a million times and felt like a misfit that would never be able to be worthy of snail poop, but al-anon changed all that slowly but surely. Keep your chin up and don't leave your MIP family! Something will give, just believe in HP and yourself and keep digging into your al-anon recovery program. Sending you prayers, love and support Melly always!

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

oh geez mel! I know you can make any place a home. Even if the area is broken down, but safe, you might find the people more layed back and willing to help, give and take!

I would want you to live here in a micro second! wish I could!!

You are smart so I know you will find something. But no one can do it alone! Wish i could remember this one gals name i used to hear from in Ausi. dang it. I will have to go check my friends.

Met her here on mip.

Have you gone on campus and looked there for housing available?

Sounds like you have the money to get into a home if you can find one!?

How can I help? You know I care about you and yours very much. It's so amazing of you to not even go camp on your moms doorstep. Protecting yourself. Would she consider a little trailor or? parked at her house? I forgot if it is summer or what there. Can you get a tent to put up by your car? I had to use a bucket with heavy plastic bags for a toiler for months. ugh. Maybe someone with a barn or outbuilding would allow you to park and maybe make a room in the barn?

You will find a home lady. I like you are camping for a bit. It will give you time to heal up and throw away the stress. Focus on shelter, home and security.

Well I know you cannot afford it,nor want to, but I am serious you are welcome here. I know you would love it. There is a great place to learn to be naturopathy doc here. spell? Also this area loves alternative medicine.

We have a beach,mountains, desert! colleges too.

I have faith in you. please keep us in the loop, please. we all care sooso much. We need you to need us! love love and love, debilyn ps I will adopt you kiddo cat and dog!

missmeliss · ~*Service Worker*~

Thanks Deb, the idea of coming to live with you makes me smile

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Mel you have not failed. The world is so very very hard when you are alone. you have every right to feel as you do! it is scarey!

Your situation is dire! Is there any social services dept you can at least go talk to?

I am hoping your camping will allow you to rest a couple days. I do know homelessness is more work than most realize. Been there, done that.

Doing my best to hug you from here. When I got like you are, i asked HP to please hang on to me tight. love!!!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.