The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There are times in my day, month and year where i find it hard to be the person im trying to be and i am basically the old negative thinking person.The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the conclusions i jump to are usually negative and paranoid. If a human comes into thjs point in my day then i can fall out with them easily. If i give myself time in the morning to wake up, i seem to need an hour or so, then i read my readers, talk to my sponsor and my day goes so much better.
There is a certain time in the month where this old, mean, me comes to life for a couple of days and my brain is in a fog so rational thought is almost impossible. Im learning to ride this storm, just walk gently and quietly through it but its really hard. React, react and react a little more and then when its over i need to pick up the pieces. Im getting better. Theres certain times of the year where i find it hard too, like holidays and empty time can be tricky too. so, ive came to the conclusion that recovery is not a completley smooth thing in itself, its good to be able to accept more and more of myselfit makes it easier to love myself. Thanks for reading.x
The mornings for me are when i could commit murder, not literally but my tongue is looser, my judgements and initial reactions are pretty much negative and the conclusions i jump to are usually negative and paranoid. If a human comes into thjs point in my day then i can fall out with them easily. If i give myself time in the morning to wake up, i seem to need an hour or so, then i read my readers, talk to my sponsor and my day goes so much better.
******************************************** I can relate......for me, i, have to exercise, get my bath, and sorta prepare for the world, or i can be a menace.......LOL., this post resonated with me.....I have to do self care stuff when i get up or i can be a real B**** at times...especially when a client calls me and its BEFORE my work time, i just don't answer, i let it go to VM.....I need my self care time....exercise, meditation, reading my recovery stuff.....or getting on the board....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I so find your posts clear and honest. Therefore I can relate. React react and react a little more. I used to do this with my mother even after she got sober and beautiful again. It was very intense in my (separated) marriage, and having a highly repetitive autistic child who refuses to have ANY ones will upon him in any way, really forces me to assess my controlling tendencies. Funny how we get what we need lol.I like the way you explained the process particularly the picking up the pieces part. I also need a lot of time to wake up in the morning so have set myself a new routine of waking up an hour earlier.its sooo hard at first but it makes such a difference to my quality of life. Thanks for the share el-cee.
